Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Deployment

The Deployment Journal For Spouses

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The Deployment Journal For Spouses

So you spouse just deployed, and you feel a bit lost. You just aren’t even sure what you are feeling but you know you are feeling something. You just want to get it all out.

Have you ever thought about keeping a deployment journal?

I have been writing in a journal since I was about 16 years old. I love them and while I write more during certain times of my life over others, I still keep one to this day.

During my deployments, they were like a best friend for me. Anytime I was upset, felt angry, or was just so sad I didn’t know what to do, I would grab my journal and let everything out. Doing so was so very helpful and I like to offer that advice to other military spouses.

The Deployment Journal For Spouses

Keeping a deployment journal can help you through your next deployment!

Because of my love of the journal, and knowing how much they can help during a deployment, I am having an amazing giveaway for the new verison of the Deployment Journal for Military Spouses by Rachel Robertson.

They also send me a copy for review, and this book, it’s beautiful. As someone who has journaled for years, finding the right book is important. One thing I look for is the cover, and this one passes my test.

The Deployment Journal For Spouses

This journal is a beautiful teal color which is one of my favorite colors. Teal is so soothing and calming to me. The color makes me want to pick up the book.

Within the book, you will find places to journal, prompts, tips, ideas, quotes, and even a place to write down your memories and milestones. This journal would be ideal for any military spouse going through a deployment. And I know this book will be a big help during the time your spouse is away.

The Deployment Journal For Spouses

Now, head on over to my Facebook page to enter. The giveaway will go until March 15th. Please visit Military Family Books if you would like to purchase this book for yourself, or want to know more about the book or the author.

Have journals helped you through a deployment???

When Your Spouse is Deployed and You Only Have Two Hands

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When Your Spouse is Deployed and You Only Have Two Hands

This post is sponsored by Baby Tula! I was also provided free product for review.

Whenever my husband was deployed, I hated going to the grocery store. I know there are more options these days such as grocery store pick-up or affordable delivery services, but back during our previous deployments, we didn’t have any of that.

So, once I had three kids, it became a big issue. I could sometimes get around this by going to the grocery store when my older two were in school, or trade with a friend. However, there were sometimes when I still had to take all three and head to the store. Or really anywhere I needed to go.

Baby Tula

There are different tools out there that can help us during our solo parenting days. One tool that helped me with my babies was having a good baby carrier to use, especially when I had to take all three kids to the grocery store. My baby would go in the carrier, he would stay close, then I would have two free hands to shop, and help my other children.

I could also use this carrier if we were going out to a special event or even a birthday party. I had a stroller as well, but a baby carrier is easier to use in some situations where a stoller would not work.

A lot of military spouse moms bring a carrier to MOPS or other types of playgroups. This allows them to move around, while still keeping their baby close. There are so many benefits to owning one, even if your husband is not deployed.

Baby Tula

So in those times when I did have to take all three of my children out somewhere, that baby carrier was a lifesaver. I only had two hands, with three little kids, I needed a solution.

Finding the right carrier is important. You want to find one that you like, that works for you and your baby, and is supportive.

The Explore Baby Carriers by Baby Tula would be a fantastic choice!

Baby Tula
  • This carrier is versatile, easy-to-use and the first carrier that allows you to use it in an ergonomic front-facing position.
  • There are a variety of prints to choose from, so you should be able to find something you love.
  • They have adjustable panels to use as your baby grows so you can use this Baby Tula from 7-45lbs.
  • They have three ergonomic carry positions, facing in, facing out, and back carry.
  • They have a military discount! Yay! 10% off for active duty, veterans, and retired military. Military status will be checked by a 3rd party.

If you are like me and your kids are all over toddler age, you can look at some of Baby Tula’s other products. They have shoes, blankets, backpacks, lunch bags, and more.

Baby Tula sent us one of their super cute backpacks in the Hot Lava theme. Isn’t it cute?

Baby Tula BackPack

And also one of these lunch boxes in the Chomp theme:

Baby Tula Lunch Box

If you are pregnant or already had your baby and would like a new carrier, please visit Baby Tula, and don’t forget the Baby Tula 10% military discount.

How has a baby carrier helped you when your spouse was away?

How to Celebrate Valentine’s Day if Your Spouse is Deployed

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How to Celebrate Valentine's Day if Your Spouse is Deployed

It’s time for Valentine’s Day! The holiday all about love. The one where you feel the pressure to buy your spouse candy chocolates, or flowers, or teddy bears, and make plans to go out to eat on the most crowded night of the year. Super fun right?

Or not…

Maybe you think the whole thing is silly. A holiday made up by Hallmark to get spouses to buy cards for each other, and make more money. And with the lack of candy hearts this year, is Valentine’s Day even worth worrying about? (PS I did find some at Target a few weeks ago if you are wanting some.)

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Maybe you love Valentine’s Day but unfortunately this year, your spouse is deployed and you will not be spending the day together. In fact, you aren’t even sure you will be able to talk on Valentine’s Day.

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In the past, you guys have showered each other with gifts and went out to dinner, not even worried about the crowds of other couples sharing the night with you. But this year, none of that is going to happen, so what can you do?

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This post does contain affiliate/referral links!

Well…one thing you could do is plan a Galentine’s Day with you friends. You probably aren’t the only one without your spouse on Valentine’s Day and this can be a good way to spend the time. You can have yummy food, either do a potluck or go out, bring chocolates for each other, and don’t forget the wine. And these days, you can even find Galentine’s Day party favors.

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You can also order dinner in from your favorite restaurant, so many options these days. Treat yourself to a nice dinner after the kids go to bed. While this isn’t exactly romantic, you will at least be able to have a nice meal, in your pajamas if you want to.

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And if you planned enough ahead of time, you can send your deployed spouse a nice Valentine’s Day care package. Here are some ideas from Jo, My Gosh! And really, if you didn’t send the package in time, that’s okay, just make it an “I Love You” themed one and you will be good to go.

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If your spouse is deployed on Valentine’s Day, you can just have a romantic movie marathon and enjoy the fun of a cheesy Rom-Com. Or, if you are simply not in the mood that type of thing, how about a Netflix end of the world movie instead? Bird Box anyone?

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You could always take the time to write some love letters, remembering all the things you love and miss about your spouse. Find some pretty stationary and get writing. In this world of video chats and text messages, there is something to be said about sending and receiving an old fashioned love letter.

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And if nothing else, you can use this Valentine’s Day as a time to spoil your own children with big candy hearts, cute cartoon Valentines, and a heart-shaped pizza for dinner. They will appreciate that and you will be making some fun memories together with your kids.

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All in all, you can have a good Valentine’s Day, even if your spouse is deployed. It’s just one day, and if this holiday is special to you as a couple, you can keep special even across the miles. You might have to get creative but that can be fun and a different way to express your love to one another. And there is always next year!

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How do you like to celebrate Valentine’s Day when your spouse is deployed? Do you do anything special for yourself or do you just not worry about the holiday at all?

Surviving A Military Deployment

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Surviving A Military Deployment

Surviving A Military Deployment
I am sitting in my living room, in our 3rd-floor stairwell apartment in Schweinfurt, Germany. We just got back from the park, and my two-year-old is finally asleep. I am nursing my baby to sleep and will put him down in a bit.

I plan to take a well-needed bubble bath once I do. It’s been a day. It’s been a week. It’s been a rough deployment.
 
And we still have so much more time to go…
 
Way too many days…way too long. And while every day is a day closer, the time ahead is just…well I am not sure how I am going to do this.
 
As I lay my baby down, I have no idea that his Dad won’t see him again until he is almost one. Or that after he comes home, it will be hard for him to bond. I have no idea that the deployment we thought would end in the summer would get extended again, and then again, and that he wouldn’t be home until right before Thanksgiving.
 
I leave the room and run the bath. I will probably read for a bit as I always do but I can’t stop thinking about things.
 
Surviving A Military Deployment
What if my husband never comes back?
 
What if he does and he isn’t the same?
 
What if I have way too hard of a time getting through this that the deployment breaks me forever?
 
It’s so hard not to worry about these things. They happen. They have happened to my friends.
 
It’s so hard to know how to have faith all will be okay when you know it might not be.
 
Deployments are so hard…and it’s okay to feel like you can’t go one more day.
 
It’s been 11 years since that deployment. Time has moved on. My boys have gotten older. We have been through more deployments.
 
Surviving A Military Deployment
They never get any easier. But you do learn how to cope.
 
I still hate the thought of being away from my husband, even though we make it through each and every time.
 
And although I would like to think that I could rock any future deployment we might go through, I also know that they could break me, just like they have done in the past.
 
If you are going through a deployment, know you are not alone. I have been there. Others have been there.
 
If you are about to start a deployment, know it is okay to be scared, that being worried about your spouse and what the deployment will be like is normal.
 
Know that you will grow as a person during the deployment. You will find ways to cope. You will deepen your friendships with others. You will figure out how to get to that finish line.
 
As military spouses, we do what we have to do because of who we love and the career our spouse has picked. But that doesn’t mean everything is easy or that we will never have a bad day. It just means we can find the strength to make it through…whatever comes our way.
 
If you are a military spouse looking for support, please take the time to check out my deployment blog posts here on Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life. I have many posts on deployments based on my own experiences as a military spouse.
 
Remember, you are not alone, there are people who want to help you through this, and people who can stand by you as you do. You got this military spouse, you do <3

At the End of the Day, Sometimes You Just Have to Suck it Up

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At the End of the Day, Sometimes You Just Have to Suck it Up

At the End of the Day, Sometimes You Just Have to Suck it Up

Deployments are no joke. I hate deployments, and yet I know they are a part of the military life experience. And while there are so many ways to make it through a deployment, sometimes you just have to suck it up and get through the days apart, even if you don’t want to.

The biggest thing is making sure you have what you need to get through the deployment. This is going to look different for everyone. Some people love wine, others, not so much. Some people love chocolate, and others perfect another type of candy.

And when I talk about what you need to get through a deployment, food and drinks can be easy to bring up, but in reality, you need more than that. You need good friends by your side, hobbies to focus on, a possible career path for yourself, and even something like a deployment haven in your home.

Basically, anything that will help you through the time apart.

If you are not sure what this is for you, think about what makes you happy and what can brighten your day. Think about what has worked in the past, and go from there.

Sucking it up is simply finding ways to cope.

It is not dwelling on all the negatives but working towards enjoy life, even when they are away. This doesn’t mean you won’t ever be sad, or won’t ever need to cry. It doesn’t mean you have to think the deployment is the best thing ever or that you are never allowed to vent about what you are going through.

So if you are just starting your deployment, or are in the middle of one, make sure you are surrounding yourself with people and things that will help you. That will make the deployment much easier for you and time will go by a little faster.

Make sure to read my other deployment posts! 

When You Hate Deployments

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When You Hate Deployments

Our first deployment came about nine months after my life as a military spouse first began. This was after spending about 4.5 months apart waiting to join my husband in Germany. He left the following August, and that deployment didn’t end until November of the following year.

That was such a long time to be away from my husband. Even now, all these years later, I can’t even believe we got through that. I had a baby during that deployment, a toddler, and lived in Germany, far away from family and what we were used to.

Over the years my husband deployed three more times. I got through each of these the best I could. I got through them one day at a time, one hour at a time sometimes. I somehow made it through those challenges.

I thought that my deployment days were over, but as we are starting to possibly get ready for deployment #5, I am starting to get a bit nervous. There is so much on my mind, and I just don’t know how that time apart is going to go.

When You Hate Deployments

See, I hate deployments.

Sure, there are benefits from them. You can grow as a person, you can do things you otherwise wouldn’t, you can find ways to become a better person.

You can bond with other spouses, you can learn more about yourself, and you can feel stronger than you ever have once they come home.

But I hate deployments.

And although my kids are much older this time, I am still nervous. No, I won’t have to change all the diapers by myself, but I will have two teenagers during the deployment.

All my kids will be in school, but I will be too, with all the stress that brings.

When You Hate Deployments

And I will still miss my husband just as much. The one I decided I wanted to spend my life with. The one I have so much fun with. My biggest cheerleader.

So as I look ahead, what can I do when I already know how much deployments suck? What can I say to myself to help get in a better mood about this? What can I do to make the future deployment less painful?

I am going to try to think positively

I am going to go into this deployment trying to think positively about the next year. This will be hard to do. But I want to start this deployment with the hope that everything will be okay. I want to go into the deployment without hating it and to do that I have to change my thinking about what is to come.

I am making lists of people and things that will help me

I know I have people I can depend on. I know there are things that will help me through. I am going to make a list of these people and things. From who I can call on my hardest deployment days, to the easy meals to make during one of those deployment nights when cooking is the last thing I want to do.

When You Hate Deployments

I am going to remind myself the deployment is not forever

This is something I will have to repeat to myself over and over. Deployments don’t last forever; deployments don’t last forever, deployments don’t last forever. They start, they are, then they end.

It might seem a bit strange to have to remind yourself of this, but I know for myself, I can get stuck in feeling like the deployment will last forever. Even when I know that logically that is impossible, my heart doesn’t always understand.

I am going to give myself permission to cry

If I need to cry, I am going to cry. But I am also going to work on having good days, even though my husband will be across the ocean.

I am going to have to stay strong for my kids, I am going to have to be there to help them through the deployment, and I am going to have to be strong for them as well as for myself.

But somedays, I might need to cry. That is how I get the frustration and sadness out. That is one step to help feeling better about everything. Crying might just be what I need to do.

I am going to take it one day at a time

I am going to take this deployment one day a time because sometimes that is all I can do. There are going to be challenges along the way, and not every day is going to be a good one. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be able to handle what comes my way.

Not everyone likes to count down the days of a deployment, but I do. (Not online of course, just in my own journal, OPSEC and everything.) I like to see how far I have come. I like to know how much longer I will have to go. I like to know where I am in the middle of the deployment.

And I think it is good to celebrate the little things during a deployment. I have been in FRGs that have 100-day parties. I get excited about a new movie coming out, or a new book release. I make plans, and make memories with my kids, even when he is gone.

I know during our next deployment there will be days when I will wake and say, “man, I hate deployments.” However, I am going to try hard not to be too sad and upset the whole time he is gone. That isn’t going to be good for me, my kids, or even my husband.

He has a job to do, and he will need to get it done. And I will be here, cheering him along, making each day count, and trying to thrive more than just survive during the deployment.

Make sure to visit my deployment section for more blog posts on getting through your next deployment. You can also join my blog’s Facebook group for support during your military journey.

 

Welcome Them Home

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Welcome Them Home

Welcome Them Home

I’m so excited to be on the blog today you guys! Julie offered to let me use her platform to share with you about my non-profit because we both believe that you guys would totally be into it because THIS IS FOR YOU! Here goes…

My name is Bethany Cox and I am the founder of the non-profit Welcome Them Home. I wrote a little about it on our website but I thought I ould share that here with you as well.

Welcome Them Home is simple.

Welcome Them Home

It is a network of photographers who donate their time and skills to service members and their families as a thank you for the sacrifices that are being made for our country. Each photographer in the network has agreed to photograph your service member’s homecoming, free of charge.

We want to thank YOU for your sacrifices, be it on the home-front or abroad. Our goal is to become a household name for military families so that they know they have the option to have their Homecoming moment photographed, free of charge.

The story behind the non-profit is this: I was riding in the car with my husband and his brother. We were talking about wanting to do more with our lives than just pursue money and happiness, (which are pretty normal and perfectly fine pursuits). We wanted to serve others but in a creative way. I mentioned that it was on my heart to photograph military homecomings for free.

They encouraged me and said that I should do that… but I should do it on a large scale! Yes… I could photograph them, but only in a small area of the country. There are a lot of bases out there and a WHOLE lot of homecomings happening all over. Why not spread the net wide? I came up with the idea to create a network of photographers that would all agree to photograph homecomings for free.

Welcome Them Home

I like the idea of simplicity and I also liked the idea of this thing being able to run itself without me having to have my hands in every single aspect of it. I decided to take myself out of the equation almost completely by simply creating a website where families (you guys!!) can connect with photographers with no middle man, (ie: me). You simply find a photographer that you like in the area where your homecoming will happen and voila!

This was way back in 2012! Since then the network grew so much that I wasn’t able to keep things updated. Recently, I decided to start a fundraiser to help me create a website that would function a lot better for everyone.

Photographers would create accounts and be able to update their locations and details so that you guys could easily find them through a search function. Right now we are on a small break while we raise the money to rebuild the site, but once it’s done, we will be open again for you to use us!!

Welcome Them HomePlease do keep us in mind for your next Family Readiness Group or even for your own homecoming moment. I know that the photographer in the non-profit LOVE being able to do this for you guys, and many of them are military spouses or service members themselves.

If you can donate, please do, but the most important thing that will help us the most is for you to spread the word about what “Welcome Them Home” offers. Hopefully one day, everyone who wants this moment photographed, will know exactly where to look for a photographer.

Welcome Home Website: http://welcomethemhome.org/
Welcome Home Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/WelcomeThemHome/

Sometimes They Miss So Much

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Sometimes They Miss So Much

This is a sponsored conversation on behalf of Holt’s Cigar Company via SoFluential Media. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Sometimes They Miss So Much

When my husband joined the military, we already had children. A little boy. One of the reasons I went back and forth on it for so long was that I knew that when my husband joined the military, it would mean he would miss some of my son’s life. And that we would not be able to pick and choose what we would miss and what he would be home for.

In the last 12.5 years, he has missed his fair share of moments with our boys. He missed my 2nd little boy’s birth, and almost his entire first year due to a deployment extension. He has missed the first day of school, the last day of school, first words, and other milestones along the way.

As a military family, we know this is a part of the deal, but sometimes it makes me sad for him. I have been here for everything, and for him, some of our children’s growing up was done over emails, texts, and video chats. This can be frustrating for both of us, and I can only imagine what it must be like to not be able to see your children for months at a time while you are serving your country.

Military fathers sacrifice so much during their time in the military. Having to say goodbye to not only their spouse but also their children. We as a country can never really thank them enough for that sacrifice.

Sometimes They Miss So Much

As spouses, we can send them all the videos and photos in the world, but once they come home and you see your children run into their arms, you know that the missing is over and the bonding can resume. That your husband can be an in-person father once again.

This father’s day, there are many ways to show you care to the military fathers in your life. From cooking them a special dinner to buying them the right father’s day gift. One company that has some fantastic things for Dads is Holt’s Cigar Company. They have gifts that would be perfect for Father’s Day, a graduation, and even the birth of a child.

And…best of all, they have a 10% military discount, to help you save money as you are picking out a present for your favorite dad.

Military life isn’t easy, especially when you are far away from your family. A nice gift can be the perfect way to show them your love and Holt’s Cigar Company can help you find something they will love.