Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

marriage

Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

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He has been gone four months now. 120 days.

I miss him so much as you can imagine.

I miss his jokes. One of the first things I noticed about him was his sense of humor. It is silly and cheezy and I miss it.

I miss it when he holds my hand. Whether we are walking in the mall or going out to lunch.

I miss telling him about my day and all the stupid things no one else really cares about it. I tell that man everything and for four months I have not had that.

I miss him with the boys. From playing outside with Daniel to trying to get Drew to laugh to helping Joshua on the playground.

Army CoupleI miss him drinking more coffee than I do.

So far during this deployment we have been pretty much been able to talk with each other on Facebook each and everyday. I have not heard from him since Monday. Usually I can go about 3-4 days before I get upset about not talking with him. So that is about where I am at. I am trying not to get upset but it is hard. It is so difficult to not be able to talk to your other half on a regular basis. There have been so many times when I have something to say to him and can’t say it.

I almost feel like our relationship is “on hold” in a way. Not that we are currently not married or anything like that. Just that we can not have anything close to a normal relationship while he is gone.

They say “distance makes the heart grow fonder” and I think it has been true for us. You get to a point in the deployment where you start thinking about everything nice you have done together over the years. You remember all the things you fell in love with and you look forward to the future when you can be normal again.

As homecoming gets closer you think about how it will feel to be in his arms again. To be his wife, not just in name only. To be able to act like a couple instead of just remembering it.

This homecoming will be very special for us. It will be the last one for us. In the past when he has come home from deployment I always thought, “He is mine, for now…” This time, I will not have a future deployment to think about. That makes me even more excited for him to come home.

As I look back over the years I wonder what our relationship would look like if he had never left? If we were one of those couples that had never spent a day away from each other. I also wonder what it will be like when he doesn’t have to go anywhere ever again. After years of him being home and then not, will I miss that independence? I just don’t know.

Have you felt that distance has made you and your spouse stronger?

 

Dear Julie On Her Wedding Day

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Dear Julie On Her Wedding Day

 

Our 11th anniversary was on the 3rd. I usually like to blog about marriage that week. I am a little behind but will be blogging a little bit about marriage the next few days.

I was 23 when I got married and I am 34 now. He was 26 and now he is almost 38. We have defiantly been together a while…although not as long as some.

I have learned a lot  over the years and if I were to write a letter to my self on my wedding day, this is what it would say…:)

Dear Julie,

It is almost time for you to get married and I have somethings I want to say to you.

First of all, don’t rush anything. Don’t rush your wedding day, your honeymoon or the years before children come. Embrace them. Embrace the time you have together before starting a family. Children will come and with them your life with change. It isn’t as though things will be bad. You will have good experiences and difficult ones once the kids come along. But they will change everything. So embrace that time with your new husband. Have fun together, go on trips, enjoy life.

Secondly, know hard times will come. They will come and it will make you feel like your heart is breaking. You two will have to be apart for a time but try not to worry about it right now. When the time comes remember your love for each other and what you guys have. You will make it through those years as hard as they might be. They will make you a stronger couple. Just remember the good times and look ahead to future times when you are missing each other so much.

Julie, your life with Ben is going to be very different than you think it will be and that is okay. Not very many people have the exact life they planned for themselves when they were younger. There will be curveballs and things you won’t expect. There will be very good and exciting times and very sad and frustrating times. Just know that you are marrying the right man and he will be with you through everything. Every step of the way he will be there and you will walk through all the challenges together.

Have a wonderful wedding day,

Love Julie from the future.

What would you say to yourself on your wedding day?

The 5 Money Personalities Review and Giveaway

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The 5 Money Personalities

Do you and your spouse argue about money? We took premarital counseling when we were engaged and took a test. It was pretty in-depth asking us about everything. From the test we found out that we would usually always argue about money. We were raised very differently and because of that we don’t always see eye to eye on things.  After 10.5 years of marriage, the test we took way back then has proved to be correct. Although we work out our disagreements, it is still an area we sometimes don’t agree.

That is why I was excited to see this book and the opportunity to review it. The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language by Scott & Bethany Palmer.

About The 5 Money Personalities

The hidden key to a healthy relationship is not just managing money but understanding how the other approaches money.

Every couple argues about money. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for 40 years or dating for 4 months, money touches every decision you make as a couple—from the $5 cup of coffee to the $50,000 car. And when the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye on how much to spend or how much to save, that’s when arguments turn into ugly toxic fights that leave both persons feeling hurt and angry. It’s why money has become the #1 cause of divorce in the U.S. Obviously, something needs to change. The reason this crisis has not been addressed is because it has never been identified, defined, or given a name. Scott and Bethany Palmer, aka “The Money Couple,” have identified and defined this problem and offer concrete solutions to fix it.

Once you know your Money Personality, you can get to the root of money arguments and start really working together. You’ll discover what has an impact on your loved one’s money decisions, and you’ll learn how to talk about money in a way that’s actually fun! You’ll figure out how to put an end to money secrets and lies once and for all.

It’s not just about money management, and it’s definitely not just about overcoming debt. It is a whole new way of living that will change everything in your relationship. Tens of thousands have already been transformed. Are you ready?

About Scott & Bethany Palmer

“The Money Couple”, have dedicated their lives to helping other strengthen their relationships with the 5 Money Personalities. With 43 years of combined financial planning experience, they launched “The Money Couple” and are regulars on national TV and radio and speak internationally about love and money. Scott and Bethany enjoy an active lifestyle in Colorado with their two young sons, Cole and Cade.

 

My Thoughts- This book is a great way to understand how your view money and why you might clash with your spouse. You can take the quiz at The Money Couple to find out what your money personality is. I took it and found the results interesting.

Your Primary Money Personality is Security Seeker

  • You like to have a plan
  • You like predictability
  • Your future is determined
  • You’re willing to sacrifice
  • You are prepared

Your Secondary Money Personality is Saver

  • You get a genuine rush from saving money
  • Rarely spend impulsively
  • Willing to research in order to find the lowest price
  • Enjoy getting a “good deal”
  • Celebrates when others get a “good deal”

I knew I liked to have a plan. I am a planner by nature. I like to know exactly how much money we have at every given moment. I look up my husband’s LES the minute it comes out. I plan every paycheck out. I get very nervous when I know I am supposed to be paid money and it takes longer than it should. Even though logically I know I will get the money. I am nervous until I actually get it. I find my secondary one interesting because I don’t feel like I save as much as I should. I have my share of impulsive spending too. I do like to research a lot and I love getting a good deal.

My husband hasn’t taken the test yet but I am very curious to find out what his answers would be.

I love how this books talks about different situations and how people deal with them when it has to do with money. I think it would be a great book for any couple to read.

Website: http://themoneycouple.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMoneyCouple

Twitter: https://twitter.com/themoneycouple

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/themoneycouple

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/The-Money-Personalities-Speaking-Language/dp/0849964784/

Would you like to win a copy of the book? Enter the Rafflecopter below 🙂

 

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* I received a copy of this book for review!

My 10 Year Anniversary Post and Giveaway

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Young Couple

When we first met~2001

10 years! Sometimes it seems so hard to believe. 10 years has gone by so quickly. We have done a lot in those 10 years. We have lived in 7 homes. We have lived in California, Kentucky, Germany and now Tennessee. We have three boys and no pets…yet. Hoping we can change that in the next year. We have been through three deployments and a few other separations. We have been through good periods and bad. I feel so lucky to have an amazing man by my side and looking forward to the next 50 years with him 🙂

San Francisco

Our 10th Anniversary

We celebrated our anniversary twice this year. We got to spend a day and night away from the kids and went to San Fransisco. We had a great time walking around Pier 39 and down to the Embarcadero. It was just nice to spend that time together. To not have to worry about the kids or any of that. Just us, on a date. It was fantastic!

Then on Friday night our actual anniversary a good friend of mine stayed with he boys so we could go out. We went to dinner, yay Outback and then went to go see the Dark Night Rises. We loved it! It was such a great movie. It was just a great night.

When we first got married I thought our 10 year anniversary would be spent on a cruise or a trip to Europe or something big like that. In the end it didn’t work out that way and I am fine with it. With Military life and just life in general we never really know what we can do for our anniversary. I am still hoping for an anniversary cruise in the future but it will have to wait for a few years.

I wanted to thank everyone who shared their blog posts with me. If you missed them on Facebook and Twitter you can visit them here…

Kathryn blogs about her first anniversary!

Chantal blogs about her 4 year anniversary!

Amanda talks about her wedding on her 1st anniversary!

Holly tells a sweet story about how she met her husband waiting for a bus!

Nadine has been married for 16 years. She talks about the life that they have had together!

This is a very sweet post from Erika about being married two years 🙂

Sarah tells us about her Garden wedding last year 🙂

Amber takes us through her wedding on her 5 year anniversary 🙂

Monica talks about all the things they have been through as a married couple and how surprising life can be 🙂

Sarah blogs on her 1st anniversary and shares pictures of her wedding with us.

Jennifer tells us about her first date with her husband 🙂

Sarah writes about her wedding day. It was very very special 🙂

April tells us all about how they met with lots of beautiful pictures 🙂

Fran tells us how she met her Army husband 🙂

Madeline tells us about her Wedding, with a lot of lovely photos

Jane tells us all about her special R&R anniversary 🙂

Erin tells us all about her special 5th anniversary!

Sarah blogs about the last 4 years of marriage 🙂

Tammy blogs about spending her 16th anniversary on a cruise ship 🙂

Bonnie tells us how she got engaged to the boy she met when she was justa child 🙂

And now for the giveaway…

Our first date was actually a double date. We went to Olive Garden and then to a ball at my school. It was a lot of fun and I will always have great memories of Olive Garden. So for my giveaway I will be giving away 1 $25 gift card to Olive Garden. You can go on a date, with your friends or take your kids 🙂

The giveaway starts right now and will go until Friday August 17th, 2012 at 11:59pm! Please fill out the Rafflecopter to enter 🙂

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10 Things I Have Learned About Marriage During The Last 10 Years

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10 things I have learned about marriage the last 10 years

In August, my husband and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage! 10 whole years, a decade! We were 10 years younger when we decided we wanted to spend our lives together. We have been through a lot of things I would never have imagined. We have spent about 3 years of those 10 apart. That seriously breaks my heart but at least it wasn’t three years in a row. We have both grown and changed over the years. I can now look at my husband and instead of saying, “I want to grow old with you” I can say, “I love growing old with you.” Because let’s face it, when I look at our wedding pictures I see two younger versions of ourselves and it is very obvious that time has passed and that we are in the process of growing old together.

So what have I learned about marriage the last 10 years?

1) What works for one couple might not work for another. You hear a lot of advice about what a marriage should look like or what you should do about x,y or z. From TVs in your room to how often you go on a date! It’s nice to get advice about marriage but it might not all apply and that is okay.

2) Deployments can make a marriage stronger. I believe this can happen because it happened to us. I feel very lucky for this because I know how hard deployments can be on marriages. I am just thankful that deployments have not pushed us apart but made us stronger.

3) Kids change your marriage. They do. From what you do on a daily basis to how you view your spouse. When we had kids I got to see my husband in a new “Daddy” role. He gets to see me as a “Mommy.” It is different from our “husband” and “wife” roles.

4) Laughing together is good. My husband loves to make me laugh. Even when I am mad he can seem to make me smile. It’s good for us.

5) Let the little things go. I can find myself getting frustrated about the littlest things but I have learned it is best just to let them go.

Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

6) I can do things without him. When he is gone, I can function. I can my kids and I halfway around the world without him. I can give birth without him. I can do a lot on my own. Doesn’t mean I like to do things this way, but I can.

7) Sometimes life gets really really hard. Sometimes it just isn’t the way I would have planned it. That can be so frustrating but in the end, I am glad we have each other to get through it.

8 ) When you were raised differently you will see the world differently and that might be challenging. We were both raised by parents who loved us and loved God very much but the overall our childhoods were very different and we sometimes see things very differently. This can be frustrating but we just have to take a step back and realize where the other person is coming from.

9) I made the right choice. Way back in 2001 when I said yes to marry this man, I made the right choice. He is the right one for me and I am the right one for him.

10) Trust goes a very long way. We both trust each other. I trust him, he trusts me. I can’t imagine going through what we have been through without it.

Family

How long have you been married? What have you learned in that time?