Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

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Who are You Rooting for in the MVC Choice Awards?

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Excited to have this guest post from PCSGrades!!!

Who are You Rooting for in the MVC Choice Awards?

I am a bit of a sucker for a contest. My competitive side just can’t stay away from entering the fray. It doesn’t matter if it is a sporting event or an awards show. I am there, front and center, rooting or voting on my favorites. 

If it’s a sporting event and my favorite team isn’t playing, I’ll pick a team to root for anyway. Maybe it is the underdog team or the team that has never won the Super Bowl or the World Series. Sometimes I’m just rooting against a rival team. 

I love watching the Academy Awards with friends and entering the pool for picking winners in a long list of categories. As a reporter, I used to cover the Miss America Pageant. The Reporter’s Pool for picking the winner was always a lot of fun! Miss Congeniality was always the tie-breaker!

Long Time Coming

So, when I first heard about the Military & Veteran Community Choice Awards, I was excited! But the more I learned about it, the more I realized how long overdue these awards are.

The entertainment industry has the People’s Choice Awards and now the Mil-Vet community has the MVC Choice Awards! The great thing about it is the nominees don’t come from a marketing firm. There is no senior leadership influence, no media company buys, just the opinions of those we trust the most…our fellow service members, veterans, and military spouses. 

The Popular Vote!

There are plenty of awards within our community but none that come directly from us. Many times, awards are decided by a small group of panelist and unfortunately, sometimes the popular vote isn’t all that popular.

I’ve seen awards where you look at the nominees and think, “My favorite isn’t even listed.” The nice thing about the MVC Choice Awards is you can nominate any company or organization of your choice. 

Another plus is the data collected through votes in the “PCS & Relocations” category will be made available on-demand, year-round, through PCSgrades for anybody researching their next PCS. This is a great help to movers gathering information and resources as they head to a new Duty Station.

MVC Choice Awards and Working Together 

Full disclosure here, I’m very proud that the company I work for, PCSgrades, is one of the five “Hosting Partner” organizations which also includes: Task & Purpose, GovX, the Military Influencer Conference, and Blue Star Families.

As a military spouse, I am very grateful this group saw a need to join forces and provide a grassroots level program to recognize and celebrate those brands who provide outstanding service to our community. 

Who is Your Top Choice?

So, who do you think will win the “Military Spouse or Veteran Owned Business” award? The “Social Media Influencer” is another category that I think will be super competitive. And the “Places to Live” award will also be interesting. Who hasn’t seen those informal polls on Facebook asking “What is your favorite Duty Station?” I’m guessing maybe Hawaii or Colorado Springs will top the list.

Unfortunately, the awards presentation won’t be televised, so no opportunity for a watch party. But I am looking forward the banquet where the top winners will be announced at the Military Influencer Conference in the fall.

I’ll be that person polling my table, asking “Who do you think will win?”

Carla Olivo is an award-winning career journalist and proud Military Spouse. She currently serves as the Director of Strategic Communications for PCSgrades, a review website exclusive to the Military and Veteran Community.

Get an Extra Boost this Military Spouse Appreciation Month!

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Get an Extra Boost this Military Spouse Appreciation Month!

This is a sponsored post by AAFMAA!

Charlene G Wilde, Assistant Secretary of AAFMAA

As MilSpouses, our lives are truly a combination of adventure, uncertainty, service, sacrifice, and many other things in between. And let’s face it, the truth is sometimes being a military family is downright challenging. Whether it’s working to juggle your kids solo — when just surviving a trip to the grocery store can feel like climbing Mount Everest — to feeling the pressure of having to take care of the household operations while your servicemember is away, there aren’t many dull moments (or any maybe in your case!)

First off — if any of the above speaks to part of your life and experience as a MilSpouse so far, you’re not alone. I’m right there with you. With that in mind, I wanted to share an opportunity that could give you and your family an extra financial boost. Your servicemember spouse may be able to qualify for a benefit of AAFMAA Membership called the CAP Loan.

AAFMAA’s CAP Loan is an easy, smart, and affordable way to get some additional cash. It’s open to ranks E-5 to O4 and you get $5,000 at just 1.5% APR with five years to repay. The best part? There’s no credit check, no fees, no prepayment penalties, and you can use the money for whatever you need — whether it is to tackle projects around the house, take a family trip, or something just for you.

As a member of the AAFMAA team and a MilSpouse myself, I can tell you this is a great opportunity to take control and move toward the financial empowerment we all want. Your military lifestyle and your unique needs as a military family are important. You deserve the expertise and understanding of a not-for-profit organization that has been exclusively serving the military community with smart, secure financial solutions for over 140 years. Helping MilSpouses like you achieve a secure, confident financial future for your military family is our only mission.

On Military Spouse Appreciation Day and every day, at AAFMAA, we are here to help you breathe a little easier through your day-to-day life. We stand together as MilSpouses and military families, and AAFMAA is right beside us.

Interested in the CAP Loan? Learn more on our website at www.aafmaa.com/cap or call us at (800) 991-0268 with your servicemember spouse to start their application for AAFMAA’s $5,000 CAP Loan today.

How AAFMAA Can Help Military Spouses Financially

5 Military Spouse Friends You Need When You First PCS

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5 Military Spouse Friends You Need When You First PCS

When I first moved to Fort Campbell, I made friends with someone who grew up in the Clarksville area. While I didn’t go into the PCS with that goal, I just wanted to make friends, I realized how helpful that really was.

She told me about a lot of the great places to take kids, where to get a nice meal and other things about the area I might not have been able to figure out on my own, at least not for a while.

Most military spouses want to make friends when they PCS, but doing so isn’t always easy. Sometimes you can go months and months without finding anyone to connect with. That being said, if you can, look for these types of friends, because if you can find them, that will make your PCS, and your experiences at your next duty station a little bit easier.

The Friend Who Grew Up There

Finding someone who grew up in the area is such a smart idea. They can tell you about the city, where to go, where not to go, etc. They can introduce you to their friends, and help you get to know your new city, which is important. Having a local connection will also help you get to know your local civilian community.

The Friend Who Is More Outgoing Than You

One of the best things that can happen to an introverted military spouse is making friends with an extroverted military spouse. That person can be your connection to so many other people.

She will invite you on play dates, and introduce you to her neighbors. She is connected and can help you step out of your shell and get to know more people without having to do it 100% yourself.

The Friend Who Knows Post

You will also want to meet someone that knows post or base, really really well. They will know when all the kid’s activities are, they will know which CDC Hourly care center to use, and will help you get connected to some of the programs they offer, such as MOPS and PWOC.

Moving to a new installation can be so overwhelming but finding a friend that knows the place will go a long way, whether you live on or off post.

The Friend Who Has Kids The Same Age As Your Kids

If you have kids, finding friends who have kids the same age as you is such a wonderful thing. Even better when all your kids get along. You can get the kids together, while you guys hang out.

If your spouses are both deployed, have a sleepover, or even take a trip together. There are so many ways to connect when you are in the same stage of life as someone and your kids all get along.

The Friend Who Just Moved There Too

Finding friends who are also new to your duty station can be a good idea too. Why? Because you guys can learn about the place together.

There is something comforting about knowing you are not the only one who gets lost on the way to the commissary or who can’t figure out when Gate 5 is actually open.

Being a military spouse can mean moving every few years. When you move, you have to make new friends. And if you aren’t doing the moving, your friends probably are.

Here are some other blog posts about friendships and making friends during military life:

When An Introverted Military Spouse Needs To Make Friends

The Six Degrees of Separation of Military Spouse Friendships

5 Myths About Military Spouse Friendships

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

How To Make Friends When Your Kids Are All In School

The Military Spouse’s Guide to Making Friends in a Social Media World

9 Reasons Why PCSing Can Be Amazing, in GIFs

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9 Reasons Why PCSing Can Be Amazing, in GIFs

Are you moving this summer? Summer is PCS season and so many military families will be going to a new duty station in the next few months. Some military families will be excited to PCS, and others, not as much.

PCSing can be such an amazing thing. Moving is a fresh start, and while super stressful, can be an exciting part of military life. When I talk to military spouses who have been doing this forever, they have such a fantastic list of places their family has called home.

In case you are feeling down about your future PCS, or maybe you just want a laugh, here are 9 reasons why PCSing can be amazing…in GIFs.

You get to have a new, or at least new to you house

Maybe it isn’t everything you ever dreamed of, but you will be able to make a home somewhere new, and sometimes that is refreshing. Even if it does look like a pineapple.

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Find new friends!

I know how hard saying goodbye to your friend circle is and doing so if never easy. But after a PCS, you have a chance to make new friends. Some of them will be in your life forever, and if you are struggling with friends at your current duty station, you can look forward to starting over somewhere new.

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You can get away from all the annoying bugs your current duty station has

Some duty stations get the nastiest bugs, others? Not so much.

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You love the snow and are excited about being in a place that gets some

But be careful, I heard that Colorado just got a bunch at the end of May. Be careful what you wish for.

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You hate the cold and now you won’t even need to own a coat

But even in Hawaii, you might want a sweatshirt, or so I have heard.

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You want a big reason to get rid of all the stuff you said you would get rid of years ago

Does it give you joy? No really? Does it?

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You need some space from your family who happens to only live two hours away

At first, being two hours away sounded lovely, until that meant you were required to go to every single family function. You love your family but you really want some space.

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You want to see the world and you figure that Germany is the perfect place to start

From Germany you can see most of Europe, and then beyond. It will be fabulous…hopefully…you do have two babies.

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You are finally going to be at the same duty station as your best friend

Finally! The PCS gods looked your way and you and your BFF will have the time of your lives, even if your spouses do have to deploy.

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This post contains affiliate links!

There’s a great resource in our community that can be helpful in this process. Our friends at  and HomeScout have partnered together to allow for an easier experience. 💁‍♀️

Through PCSgrades, you can read reviews by our fellow military families for both on and off base neighborhoods, see photos and interactive maps of those areas along with school ratings. 🏫

Once you find a neighborhood you like, you can search for properties in that area using HomeScout which uses active MLS listings, the exact same data used by realtors. Throw in the cash rebates military families can receive through realtors found on PCSgrades and some great mortgage discounts…and it’s a win-win. 🤩


Please click here to get started—>>>

How To Celebrate Military Spouses

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How To Celebrate Military Spouses

This is a sponsored post for T-Mobile with Sofluential Media!

How To Celebrate Military Spouses

Today is Military Spouse Appreciation Day! A day to celebrate military spouses and all they do for their service members and military communities.

On this day, you might see fun memes, hear about discounts and freebies, and learn how to connect with other military spouses.

The question I have to ask myself is, what is a good way to celebrate military spouses? What can communities or businesses do? What can make today a good one for military spouses?

How To Celebrate Military Spouses

Here are some ideas:

Offer fun events

What better way to spend the week than hanging out with your friends and other military spouses. Whether it is a lunch, dinner, or a spa day, these events can be a fun way to recognize military spouses and give them a few hours to relax. Just a fun event to say, “thank you” for all you do.  

Recognize their sacrifice

I think recognizing the sacrifice of a military spouse is so important. No, military spouses don’t sacrifice in the same way their service members do, but there are things that can be difficult about this life. From saying goodbye to their spouse for months at a time, to having to leave home and live across the country, military life isn’t always easy but can make for a unique yet wonderful life.

Support military spouses in their own career paths

One of the biggest struggles during military life beyond deployments and PCS’ing is finding your own career path as a military spouse. Military life doesn’t make this easy. What I love to see is companies going out of their way to help with this. T-Mobile is one of those companies.

Through hiring commitments, career programs, employee network groups, and the T-Mobile ONE for military rate plan, the Un-carrier is committed to supporting military and their families every single day.

Take a look at the below for more information about the T-Mobile ONE for Military plan – the best discount in wireless for military and their families:

  • With the plan, you can receive 20% off your first line and half off up to five additional voice lines for this T-Mobile military discount. That means you pay $55 for that first line with AutoPay instead of the regular $70. $25 off your second line, and $10 off your 3rd through 6th lines.
  • T-Mobile ONE Military includes everything in T-Mobile ONE at no extra cost. This includes unlimited talk, text and data, taxes and fees included, free stuff and discounts every week with T-Mobile Tuesdays, a free hour of Gogo Wifi when traveling domestically and unlimited texting and data in over 210+ global destinations.
  • T-Mobile ONE Military is available for the military and their families to include active duty military, reserves, national guard, veterans, and Gold Star families, plus the small businesses they own with up to 12 voice lines.
How To Celebrate Military Spouses

But it is so important for companies to show support for their military spouse employees as well, in addition to their customers. Military spouses have a harder time landing jobs and growing their own careers, especially with having to move often, making the unemployment rate for military spouses 4 times the national average. In addition to that, many military spouses who are employed have jobs that don’t match their higher skill, education or prior salary levels. But, T-Mobile is addressing these issues head on:

  • If a military spouse employee needs to PCS, T-Mobile has a formal process for military spouses to request a transfer to another retail store within 50 miles of their new location. They do their best to make a transfer possible for all employees because it is simply the right thing to do. .
  • T-Mobile has been named a Top Military Friendly Employer by Military Friendly® for 12 straight years.
  • They have a commitment to hire 10,000 veterans and their spouses by 2023. Find out more in this video!

I hope you can feel celebrated this Military Spouse Appreciation Day! Thank you for standing by your service member, and making our military community an amazing one.

You Always Remember Your First Military Home

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You Always Remember Your First Military Home

It’s been 18 years since I got on an airplane with my 18-month-old son, and really started our military journey. My husband had left for Germany 4.5 months before, and we were finally joining him.

And while I had technically been an Army Wife for the last 4.5 months, this trip would open the gate to my first experience in Army living. While I had grown up between two military bases, and I knew kids whose parents served, the military had never been my world.

And now the military was very much my world, and I was nervous.

How could I not be?

Not only were we becoming a military family, but we were doing it in a different country. I have never been to Europe before and didn’t know what to expect. Germany would be an experience.

After a full day of travel, my husband picked us up at the airport and took us to our first Army home. It was a 2 bedroom stairwell apartment, on the 3rd floor. We had Army rented furniture, with a lovely maroon pattern, and made that place a home.

We ended up living there for over two years before we moved to another duty station in Germany. That home will always have a special place in my heart. And that wasn’t because I loved that apartment.

You Always Remember Your First Military Home

The apartment was new, which was nice, and we had a washer and dryer in our bathroom, which not everyone had. But it was also on the smaller side, and when people visited, the space became way too crowded. As my 2nd son became a toddler, I had a difficult time with the idea that we had to live there.

My downstairs neighbors heard us every time we walked anywhere and with a toddler, that wasn’t fun at all. I tried to stay as quiet as possible, but toddlers.

When I was pregnant, and my husband was deployed, being on the 3rd floor made things a little tricky. Going up and down those stairs more than once a day was almost impossible. Then, when my baby came, that was an added challenge.

I had to get creative when I would come home and both of my boys would be asleep in the car. I couldn’t possibly carry both in my arms at the same time. Should I leave one in the car? Should I wake up the sleeping toddler?

Buying groceries was a challenge too so I would end up going a few times a week and just buying enough food to be able to carry in a couple of bags. That way, I didn’t have to take a full load up by myself. If only we had a grocery delivery service back then.

Our apartment was in the back of the building which meant we had a fabulous view of Germany, and I loved waking up to that. When the weather was bad, I could pretty much see the storm coming. That view was a lovely thing in the midst of a crazy time.

I got through our long 15-month deployment in this apartment. Through the days he was gone, the challenges that I dealt with, and the lonely nights.

I will never forget that place. I have heard the buildings have been torn down, so no matter what, I will never be able to see that place again. But our first military home will always be in my memories as the place I learned how to Military Spouse.

You Always Remember Your First Military Home

That home is where I lived when I met my first military spouse friends.

That home is where I wrote love letters to my husband to send to Iraq.

That home is where I learned how to stay as busy as possible, and where I realzied I was not alone in my military spouse ourney.

At the end of R&R, my husband leaned over and gave our 2.5-week-old a kiss goodbye in that apartment, not knowing he wouldn’t see him until he was almost a year old.

My husband met our son in that apartment, coming back from Iraq, three days after he was born.

As a new military spouse, I spent a full jet-lagged day, trying to figure out this new life that we had started, the day after we landed in Germany.

You Always Remember Your First Military Home

As military spouses, you will probably live in many different homes. I know some seasoned spouses who, at retirement, have lived in 20-30 different places. But, I think, no matter how many times you have moved, most people remember that first military home.

They remember what it was like to see the military movers arrive and bring all your household belongs in, praying they don’t break anything important.

They remember meeting their first military spouse neighbors and realizing how much they had in common.

They remember how it felt when they saw their spouse walking in the door in uniform, after a long day of work.

Going forward, they will probably always compare every other home with this one. They will probably think about how different that first home was from what they have now. And they might even miss the place, some more than others.

That first military home could bring up difficult memories, of times before things changed, of a former life. And for some, thinking of that home can bring up some hard to deal with emotions, and maybe just maybe they want to forget all about that place.

And for others, that home could have been the place where they discovered they were strong enough to get through anything, where they found themselves, and where they grew up and became the person they are today.

What about you? Do you remember your first military home? Do you ever miss it?

When Your Spouse Has CQ, In GIFs

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When Your Spouse Has CQ, In GIFs

They come home from work, you are super excited about the upcoming weekend. You can’t wait for some family time, a break from the kids, and time with your spouse.

Only…when they get home, they let you know, they have CQ this next weekend.

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Crap, now you will be spending a lot of the weekend without them, and they will be stuck at the CQ desk for 24 hours.

CQ is a thing some service members have to do and it isn’t very fun. CQ stands for “Change of Quarters” and is 24-hour duty, where they will have to sit at a desk, to monitor the barracks. They might have to clean, or do other duties, but they have to stay there the whole time.

And while you would think 24 hours away would be a piece of cake for those of us who have gone through a long deployment, CQ never seems to be at the right time. And thus, becomes an annoying part of living this military life.

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When you first hear the news that your spouse has CQ, you might be pretty chill about it. It’s just CQ after all. But then you remember your 5-month-old isn’t sleeping well right now and you could use the extra support during the night.

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You decide you are going to bring him lunch because, well you want to be nice like that. So you grab your kids, head to the car, only to realize you left his lunch on the counter. New plan, stop at Subway and get him a big old sandwhich, he will love that anyway.

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The day goes on, and you almost forget he isn’t coming home tonight. But you remember when the clock hits 6 pm and he still isn’t home. It’s been a long day and you are ready to relax.

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But you soon accept they won’t be around for the night and try to think about all the fun you and your kids will have. You ordered pizza, you have a fun movie for the kids, and oh, will have to do bedtime all by yourself. Yikes.

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You soon accept that fact too and get through it because you are quite the milspouse boss and you can conquer bedtime all by yourself. You have done it 100 other times, and CQ shouldn’t be any harder than any other time they have been gone overnight.

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So you put the kids to bed and you then realize the beauty of CQ, you get the remote all to yourself. You can watch the Bachelor and Real Housewives, without any commentary. And then you roll your eyes when the housewives complain that they can’t go anywhere without their husbands. You don’t know that life!

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You put yourself to bed, knowing that you have almost conquered CQ. And you are so thankful that THIS CQ is better than the last time he had it, over New Year’s. And you had to celebrate with a whole bottle of sparkling grape juice all by yourself.

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And then you get yourself in bed, hope and pray your baby doesn’t wake up, and try to get some rest. Because tomorrow, CQ will be over and things will be back to normal. Well, as normal as military life can be. As long as he gets enough sleep and can catch up on the lost hours, you still might be able to enjoy a few hours of the weekend together.

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Do you have any special things you do when your spouse is working CQ?

7 Tips to Enjoy Your First FRG Meeting

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7 Tips to Enjoy Your First FRG Meeting

Yes, FRG meetings. Some people love them, some people hate them. But either way, FRG meetings are such a good thing to have, even if they have issues being implemented. Even if certain FRGs are not working as well as they could be.

FRG stands for “Family Readiness Group” and you can find them in the Army, the Army Reserves, and the Army National Guard. The Navy also calls them the FRG. The Air Force has their Key Spouse Program, the Marine Corps has their Family Readiness Program, and the Coast Guard has their Work-Life Program which all try to accomplish the same thing.

The FRG is there to inform spouses as well as help support them, especially during deployments.

I have been a part of a few different FRG groups, and each one was a little different. My FRGs in Germany felt more like a real community of spouses, working together to get through our deployments or other struggles. In the states, things felt a little different but underneath it all, there was still support in these groups.

I do believe that going to at least one FRG meeting at your new duty station, is a good thing to do. If nothing else, to see how things are going to go. Maybe the FRG meeting won’t be as bad as you think it will be. Maybe there won’t be a lot of drama. Maybe there will be support there that you are yearning for.

As you figure out when and where the FRG meets, and get ready for your first FRG meeting, here are some tips to keep in mind:

Other people are going to be just as nervous as you are

If you are an intrvert, or even if you are not, you might be a bit nervous about going to your first FRG meeting. This is normal. Most people are going to be nervous doing this.

There will be new people to meet, there will be new information to learn, and that can feel so intimidating. Just remember, other people are feeling the same way, and might just be looking for a friendly face, just like you are.

The FRG is supported by volunteers

One thing to keep in mind is that the FRG is going to be supported by volunteers. People who have taken time out of their schedules to help, in many different ways. Giving them a little bit of grace is important.

In some cases, a spouse was “voluntold” to become a leader or take on another position. They might feel like they had to say yes, and might not have wanted to take on the position in the first place. This can make things tricky, and can be an big issue in the military spouse world.

You could become one of them

You could volunteer too. You don’t have to step up to be the FRG leader. There are many other ways to do so.

The FRG includes positions such as Liasion, Assistant Leader, Secretary, Treasurer, Newsletter Ediotr, Activties Chairperson, Fundraiser Chairperson, and Advisor. You can also offer to help in smaller ways such as sending birthday cards to the single service members in the unit, or making food on a regular basis for events.

When you get to your first FRG meeting, they might let you know what positions are available or tell you how you can help. If not, you can always ask where you might be needed. Volunteering through your FRG can be a great way to get to know people a little better and become a part of something that can help a lot of military spouses.

Drama doesn’t have to rule everything

One of the biggest complaints about FRGs is the drama. And I am not going to lie, there can be some serious drama. And that drama can get nasty. But it doesn’t have to be that way forevery FRG group.

You can go into your meetings knowing you don’t want to be a part of that. Treating people with respect and responding to situations in a mature manner can go such a long way in controlling the drama. Don’t let the fear of drama keep you away from FRGs alltoegther.

Grace for other people goes a long way

The FRG is made up on humans, and humans can make mistakes sometimes. Your leader might feel at bit overwhelmed at times, or there could be positions that just haven’t been filled yet. When you go to attend your first FRG meeting, seeing the potential instead of just bashing what is, can be important.

Grace for others can go a long way, and can change things for the better. Try to do what you can to be kind to others within the FRG and work towards postive changes. FRGs can be really amazing places if everyone is working together to make them so.

Support is always important

The support military spouses can receive through the FRG is so important, especially during deployments. These spouses are the ones who understand what you are going through because they are going the same thing you are. Most likely, your spouses will be leaving together, will be deployed together, and coming home together.

While you are probably not going to hit it off with everyone in your FRG, your FRG can be a good place to find some understanding friends. This might not happen right away, but the potential is always there. So please remember that as you attend your first FRG meeting.

The FRG won’t fix all of your problems

In the end, the FRG won’t solve all of your problems. The FRG isn’t set up for that. The FRG can’t make your spouse come home any sooner, the FRG can’t raise your children for you, and it can’t take away all of your struggles.

The FRG can help with your lonliness, can help you stay busy, and can give you tools to make it through your deployment, or anything else military life might throw at you.

Have you ever had a good FRG experience? What do you think the key to that was?