Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

military spouse

The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need

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The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need

I received a free box for review!

I love getting mail!

I especially loved getting mail when my husband is deployed.

Just something about getting a package in the mail makes me happy and puts me in a happy mood.

If you haven’t already heard about Brave Crate, you will be in for a happy surprise. Brave Crate is a box just for military spouses going through a deployment. How awesome is that?

If you sign up with Brave Crate, you will be getting your very own package in the mail once a month. Not only that but this package is made just for a spouse going through a deployment.

What’s In Each Brave Crate Box?

  • An intro to the month’s theme with tips and tricks from other military spouses
  • A beautiful calendar to track your countdown
  • 4-6 full size products to help you set goals, focus on wellness and support your marriage
  • One challenge card inspiring you to work toward purpose during deployment
  • Access to monthly webinars, challenge groups and interviews through our online community

I just received the latest box and wanted to share it with you. As you can see the box is filled with some amazing goodies.

The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need
The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need
The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need
The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need
The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need

Opening that pink box is always such a fun surprise!

How much does Brave Crate cost?

The box is $33.99/month for a 6-month subscription. Shipping for your box is only $6 no matter where you are! Brave Crate also offers monthly and 3-month subscription options.

I really think Brave Crate is such a great thing to have during a deployment. I really wish I could have ordered them during all of our deployments. Check out some of their past boxes and see the variety they provide, month after month.

Are you interested in a Brave Crate box? If so head on over and sign up, use the code SWCL and receive $5 off your first box!

You will be glad you did 🙂

When You Are New, After a PCS

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When You Are New, After a PCS

Your flight got in late, so by the time you got to the post hotel, you still didn’t have a good idea of where you now were. Where you would call home. Your next duty station.

You have seen photos and heard stories. Both good and bad. But this PCS has made you nervous and you aren’t sure all what to expect. 

As you wake up the next morning, you suddenly remember something you forgot to do before you left your last duty station. However, it doesn’t matter, you have moved on to the next place. This is your reality now.

You go out with your spouse and kids, go exploring. You might have to wait for housing and just hope that wait isn’t too long. The hotel is okay but the thought of having to stay there for a while makes you kinda hyperventilate. Especially with little kids.

You get things sorted out. You find the PX. You find the Commissary. Things are so different than your old post, how will you ever find your way around?

Days pass and you are still at the hotel but housing tells you only a few more days. Your kids are getting restless, your kids are getting anxious and so are you. You just want to get to your new house.

Your son wants to know when they will see their best buddy again and your daughter is confused about everything. She is only three and you are not sure she will even remember this move. You are not sure what your kids will remember about all of this. 

A few more days pass and then it is time to move in, to your new home. You question if living on post was the best choice, you just don’t know. You question if accepting this house was the right choice, or should you have waited for something else? 

Well, the choice has been made and it is time. Time to get to know the place that will be yours for the next few years. The place you will put your belongings and make yours, even with the white walls and tiny kitchen.

As you move your things in, you find your kids exploring too. You hope and pray the kids in this neighborhood are nice. You hope their parents are too.

Time goes on and you still feel so new. You had to ask someone where the MWR was, for a second time, you just can’t seem to remember. You worry you will never figure it out.

More time goes by and although some people have been friendly, you haven’t made any friends yet and you wonder what to do. Should you join that book club you have seen advertised? Should you take your kids to MOPS? It all feels a bit overwhelming.

More time goes on and you start to get used to the routine again. Everything has been unpacked, your kids are making friends and you are starting to find some of your new duty station’s hidden gems.

But still, you feel like the new girl, not sure how to find your people. Not sure of your place here. Not sure what to do next.

You miss your friends, you miss your people. You used to have a solid group. People to hang with, people to have fun with, people to get through deployments with.

But then, when you aren’t even noticing, you find yourself fitting in more and more each day. You are making friends, and finding your place. 

This new duty station is becoming your home. And your previous one is becoming a memory. And you have some hope that this move is going to be a good one, even though it took you a while to get there.

Just like everything else you have experienced in military life, you figured out how to make it through this PCS. To get to the other side. To get past the stress and the emotions of a move and a new home.

While you know that you will have to do all of this again in a few years, you hope that you can remember what you learned from this PCS. You hope that you will remember that as hard as saying goodbye is, there will be hellos in your future. You hope that you will remember that although so much of the move is stressful, a PCS is a good time for a new start, and a time to thrive in different ways than you have done before.

How many times have you moved with the military?

5 Things to Do When Your Spouse Deploys Before the Holidays

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Things to Do When Your Spouse Deploys Before the Holidays

We celebrated the Thanksgiving of 2008 a week early. My husband had the day off, so the Thursday before, I woke up with turkey and mashed potatoes on my mind. We had a full and fun day, and it didn’t matter one bit that we celebrated a week before everyone else was celebrating.

You see, on Thanksgiving of 2008, we would be doing something else. We would be saying goodbye to my husband for his 2nd deployment to Iraq. There was no way for us to celebrate Thanksgiving on the actual day, so we changed things around, and doing so was the best thing we could have done.

Years later, my husband was going to have to be gone for a few weeks for a new job over Christmas. When I first heard this I got really upset. Then I made a plan. When your spouse deploys, you learn how to get creative about things.

We changed Christmas morning to December 19th. And it worked out perfectly. We told the boys that Santa was going to come early because he knew their dad had to be away on the 25th. They went to bed on the 18th, just like they would have on the 24th. Everything worked out.

So then, when my husband left and the 25th came, we had already celebrated Christmas. We didn’t feel the loss quite as much, which was quite a relief.

As military families, we always have to adjust. We have to figure out how to make things work, even if we are not used to doing things that way. If you are getting ready for deployment or other separation around this time of year, you could be feeling a little down and frustrated.

However, there are a few things you CAN do to make this a little more okay. Here are some ideas:

  • Decorate early

I have seen military families decorate for Christmas in October because the mom or dad was going to deploy in November. I have seen people put up the Christmas lights the first week of November because that has always been a tradition and they didn’t want to miss it this year. If your spouse is leaving around the holidays, why not decorate early so they can take part in it?

  • Celebrate early

Like we have done in the past, why not celebrate a little early? There is no law that says you have to celebrate the holidays on the day they are on on the calendar. Figure out when the best time for your family to celebrate is, and celebrate then.

That way, when the actual holiday comes around and they are gone, you will not feel like you have missed out on celebrating together. You can even decide to celebrate early to take the stress of their deployment date out of the picture. Waiting to see if they deploy on the 23rd or the 26th is a lot less stressful if you already celebrated Christmas a week before.

  • Video and pictures

One Christmas, when my husband was deployed, I videotaped my boys opening gifts. That way, my husband was able to watch everything and didn’t feel as left out. If your spouse is traveling over the holidays or getting situated in his new location for a deployment, there might not be time to connect on the holiday, but you can always share videos and photos with them later.

  • Visit family

If your spouse is leaving for deployment around this time of year, going to stay with family can be a good idea. That way you are not as alone right when the deployment begins, and it is a more emotional time of year. Besides, your family will probably want to see you and your kids and celebrate with you this year.

  • Take a trip

If you don’t have a family to go to or just don’t want to visit them this time of year, you and your kids could always take a trip over the holidays. You could even go with another spouse and their kids. Getting out of your house and visiting somewhere new can be a good way to get through this holiday season when you are starting a new deployment.

Life can be tricky when your spouse deploys around the holidays. You might not even know when they are actually leaving and as you get closer to the holidays you are used to celebrating together, things can get pretty stressful. See what you can do to make this year special anyway.

Do you have any tips for someone going through this? What has worked for you?

Secrets to a Happy Military Marriage, in GIFs

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Secrets to a Happy Military Marriage, in GIFs

Being in a military marriage can be pretty unique, depending on your situation. Moving every few years, saying goodbye for months at a time, and living in a military community has its ups and downs.

What is the secret to a happy military marriage?

Well, here you go…in GIFS!

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Even though they can’t seem to ever put their clothes IN the laundry basket.

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Be forgiving. Even if they have to go away for training during your kid’s spring break, for the third year in a row. Remember, the military is making them do this.

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Have a regular date night. Even if that means having a special dinner after the kids go to bed because you just finished a PCS and don’t know a single person to watch your kids.

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Write love letters. Just don’t forget to actually put them in the mail and send them. Sure, they can read them when they get home, or four years later when you are cleaning out your desk.

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Remember, both of your careers matter. Even if the military makes it hard to follow yours. Through five different states in eight years. Can I transfer my license here?

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Listen to each other, even if the connection isn’t the best and you can only talk for 5 minutes at a time during a deployment.

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Remember, deployments don’t last forever, even if it seems like they have been gone for 43 years.

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Don’t compare your relationship to the highlights of other relationships. You never know what is really going on behind an Instagram filter.

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Seek extra outside help if you need it. I know TRICARE can be a pain sometimes, but they do cover counseling to help you and your spouse out.

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Be honest. About what you are dealing with, about your career path, and about how you feel when they hog the bathroom. Oh wait, would you consider that “small stuff?”

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Talk to one another about your finances. You have to get on the same page about how to spend your money, and you need to let them know that the Walt Disney World military discount is an amazing one!

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Learn your spouse’s personality. This is something that can take some time to figure out. The longer you are married, the easier it will be to figure it out. And if you are stuck, you can always take a Buzzfeed quiz about them.

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Help one another out. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. For example, you hate to cook, they love the kitchen. You are handy with tools, they would rather hire someone to fix whatever is broken. You love finding a new place to live after a PCS, they got sick of that years ago.

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Keep your promises. For example, if you say you will wait for them to watch the next season of Blue Bloods, wait for them. If you don’t, they will know. They always know.

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With a Little Help From My Military Spouse Friends

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With a Little Help From My Military Spouse Friends

We all need our military spouse friends…

As I have walked through this military life, there have been ups and downs.

I have had good days, filled with excitement and hope. I have had bad days, where I just wanted to curl up into a ball and fall asleep until the next day. But no matter what is going on, knowing I have people who have my back has been a lifesaver.

Knowing I have friends I can talk to when the deployment doesn’t seem to want to end, allows me to figure out ways to make it through.

Knowing I have friends I can vent to about a bad deployment day, helps those days not seem so awful.

Knowing I have friends who get this life, and that we can help each other is so very valuable.

These other women, who I have been able to walk this life with have been truly amazing. I am not sure how I would have gone through everything without them. I am not sure how I could have made it to the finish line of deployments in one piece without them.

Sometimes this was meeting up weekly, just to check in after a weekend. Other times this was getting our kids together to play, so that they could have fun, and that we had another adult to talk to. Or maybe this was having someone to talk to about how hard things were getting, and working to help each other out.

I recently returned from MakeHer19, and within this group of 30 military spouses, I saw so much love and support.

I saw people helping other people, answering questions, and sharing what might help.

I saw cheerleaders, helping their new friends have the confidence to go forward with a new idea.

I saw smiles when others chose to step out of their comfort zone, knowing that they have people in their corner, ready to help them along the way.

We need a little help from our military spouse friends. We need that support. We need that support whether we are talking about the stress of a deployment, the craziness of a move, or the challenges that can come about when we are focusing on our careers.

We need people that have our backs when we can feel so alone.

We need people who either understand what we are going through or who are willing to listen to us, even if they don’t.

We need a circle of trust, of people we can depend on, and people we can return the favor to.

And man, it can be hard sometimes.

I remember sitting with a group of my close military spouse friends a few years ago. We had met up for a playdate lunch and as we sat around the table chatting, I had a thought. This is not going to last forever. Everyone will eventually PCS and the dynamic will change.

And that is excatly what happened…everyone moved away eventually and our friend circle fell apart. I still keep in touch with these ladies over the miles, but it will never be the same. And that’s just apart of the military life I have come to accept.

I also know, that there is always someone new out there. There are always new people moving to this area, and some I can connect with. This might take more time than I would like, but if I am in need of a new friend, putting myself out there will eventually result in new friendships.

In this military life, it can be easy to want to pull back and stay away from everyone. You can tell yourself that the friend search isn’t even worth the time since you will only be there for a few years.

But…

Friends can be what we need to get through the challenges of military life. Friends encourage. Friends help us stay busy when we might not otherwise know how to make time pass.

We all need a little help from military spouse friends, especially when things seem so difficult.

Here are some additional articles and resources to help you find your people:

When You Can’t Make Friends at Your Duty Station

How to Make Awesome Friends in Military Life

How to Make Friends: 3 Ways to Find Your Tribe

8 Ways to Find Your New Best Friends

Finding Friends in a Military World

Instant Friendship: A Gift From Military Life

When An Introverted Military Spouse Needs To Make Friends

Joining the Sisterhood

Don’t give up. You can find friends. That journey isn’t always going to be easy, and saying goodbye isn’t going to be fun, but being able to walk with other spouses during your time in military life is a must.

5 Tips For Being a Military Influencer On Social Media

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5 Tips For Being a Military Influencer On Social Media

This is a sponsored post for T-Mobile with Sofluential Media!

Social media can be such a fun way to connect with other people. I have been in the military spouse blogger space for almost 10 years now and I can hardly believe it. Twitter was the first place I shared my blog posts and started building my community. Soon after I started a Facebook page, and later a group. And a few years after that, Instagram became part of my social media space. 

After being a military influencer on social media for so long, I wanted to offer some tips for others who would like to do the same.

Have a plan for each platform

Whether it is Instagram or Facebook, have a plan for what you want to do and what you want to accomplish. Each platform works a little differently so make sure to keep that in mind when creating a social media plan for yourself.

Memes help 100%

Memes can help grow your following, and they are fun to make. You can use photos, and create captions or put a quote on a pretty background. A meme can go viral and boost your numbers rather quickly.

Use social media to connect with your followers

Use your accounts to connect with your followers. Respond to comments, and answer questions – a little engagement goes a long way! You can really build your community and build credibility by maintaining a conversation with the people that follow your channels.

Start with one post a day

If you are not sure how to get going, start with just one post a day and go from there. You might not even need to do more than that. Routines can be good, and scheduling out what you want to post can make social media feel a bit less overwhelming.

5 Tips For Being a Military Influencer On Social Media

Use a good phone

If you want to post regularly on social media, having the right smartphone is really the first thing you need. To capture meme-worthy content you want a phone with a good camera. The iPhone 11 features a dual-camera system with all-new Ultra Wide and Wide angle cameras that produce the highest quality video a smartphone can offer, plus major improvements in low-light photography and Portrait mode — making it even easier to capture picture-perfect social media content. Ready to upgrade your phone? Right now, T-Mobile customers can get 50% (or more) off a new iPhone – including the new iPhone 11 – via bill credits with a qualified trade-in.  

If you aren’t on T-Mobile already, consider making the switch. T-Mobile has long been a champion for the military community through employee programs — the Un-carrier was named one of the Top Military Friendly Employers by Military Friendly®  for the 12th time. And, T-Mobile’s Magenta Military plan makes it easy for military spouses to keep up with social media and family:

  • Update your social media at home or on the go with unlimited talk, text and high-speed data, plus unlimited hotspot with 3GB high-speed data per month.

Magenta Military offers military, veterans and their families one of the best prices in wireless. For one line, it’s just $55 per month with AutoPay (normally $70 on T-Mobile’s popular Magenta plan). If you need more than one line, the discount gets even better at just $25 for the second line and $10 per line for lines 3 through 6. Plus, monthly taxes and fees are included so the price you see is the price you pay.

There’s never been a better time to get in on the Magenta Military Plan and take advantage of the best iPhone deal on the market. With T-Mobile, it’s easy to up your social media game, stay in touch with family and friends and connect with others the way you want to. 

16 Memes For When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

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16 Memes For When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Your spouse left a few months ago and you are not even halfway through this deployment. You told yourself before he left that you were going to rock this deployment. But here you are, struggling, trying to get through.

I have totally been there myself. I have had days where I just wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through the end of the month without completely breaking down. I would have to stop and remind myself that I could get through this deployment, that I could handle the time apart. That I could get through this challenge.

Some memes are pretty funny, they make you laugh and can help you feel like you got this. Other memes are more serious, but they hit you hard and can help you not feel as alone as you might feel during your deployment.

Here are 16 memes for when you are struggling through a deployment. Hopefully, they can help you during this part of your military spouse journey.

You don’t have to follow every single piece of deployment advice you hear. Some of the tips might not work for you and your family. That’s okay 🙂

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Staying busy and making friends is really going to go a long way in helping you through a deployment.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Yes, some days will definitely be one hour. That’s okay!

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Sometimes you just have to think of the positives. Like the remote. If he is gone, it’s all yours. Unless your kids steal it.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Yes! We are military spouses! And we stand by and support the members of our military. That isn’t always easy to go but we love them, so we do it.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Remember, no matter how badly you might be feeling or how hard you are struggling, there are always things you can do to get to a better place.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

The weather during a deployment can really mess with you! Whether it is a snowstorm, hurricane, or endless tornado warnings. Try to prepare yourself before the weather comes, and they will be easier to deal with.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Daydreaming about homecoming always put me in a better mood during a deployment. Homecoming gave me hope.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Wine and chocolate 🙂

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Yep, that first month and that last month will take the longest! That’s a fact!

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Sometimes thinking about what you have been through in the past can help you focus on the future.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Just, just keep going. You got this!

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Some days are going to be better than others. Remember, each day is a brand new day and anything can happen. Try not to get stuck on the bad days.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Yes! Get out there and try something new. See what happens. You might find a new hobby or make a new friend.

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

Those phone calls are the best 🙂

16 Memes When You Are Struggling Through A Deployment

I know it can be hard to believe sometimes, but each deployment will make you stronger. You will find ways to make it through and will find yourself at the end.

What is your best tip for surviving a deployment???

How To Have a Date Night When Your Spouse is Deployed…in GIFs

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How To Have a Date Night When Your Spouse is Deployed...in GIFs

Your spouse is deployed, but you want to try to plan a date night anyway. This could work you think, even though you are 6,000 miles apart. You need that time with your spouse, and setting up a “date night” over video chat is the best way to do it.

Here is how to have a date night when your spouse is deployed…in GIFs:

Step One: Figure out when they will be able to talk and when you can talk at the same time, for longer than 5 minutes.

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Step Two: Put the date and time in your calendar, knowing it might change.

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Step Three: Put the kids to bed early that night, hopefully, they won’t give you any trouble. Being a solo parent is hard work!

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Step Four: Get ready for your “date.” Do your hair, make-up, and put on a fancy dress, just for fun and to make things more date-like. Pour yourself a glass a wine, everything is perfect!

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Step Five: Put kids back to bed after they keep getting out of bed. Pray they fall asleep before 8 pm, the time you have scheduled for your deployment date.

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Step Six: 8:05 pm. No word from the kids, no word from the husband. Just wait.

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Step Seven: 8:35 pm. Still waiting on your spouse, and you are getting quite sleepy.

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Step Eight: 8:55 pm. Debating on if you should call it a night, figuring he got held up somewhere. That happens, you know. But you can’t help but feel a little disappointed.

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Step Nine: 9:15 pm. Decide that your deployment date is a bust for the night. Get ready for bed, maybe tomorrow will work out better? Check your phone one more time, just in case.

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Step Ten: 9:45 pm. Crawl into bed, close your eyes, and fall asleep.

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Step Eleven: 9:55 pm. The phone starts to ring, he finally made it. Your phone wakes you up, but you don’t care.

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Step Twelve: You finally get to have your deployment date. You are in your pjs, but you don’t care. You finally get to talk to the love of your life and all is well in your world, at least for now.

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As military spouses, we sometimes have to make the best out of what we have, go with the flow, and hold on to the good moments among the more difficult ones.

Have you ever tried to have a date during a deployment?