Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

military wives

Favorite Military Homecoming Outfits

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Favorite Military Homecoming Outfits

So…who has trouble coming up with the right homecoming outfit? I always do! I want to look pretty and cute but never really know the best way to do that. A lot of wives spend hours if not days searching for the perfect outfit. The secret is, it really doesn’t matter what you wear because your husband will be so happy to see you and you will be so happy to see him. However, spending the time to find the outfit passes deployment days and getting ready for the event passes the hours right before you get to go pick them up.

Here are some ideas 🙂

I also have a board on Pinterest all about this! You can visit and see some great ideas of outfits you might like. Some will be for you, others for your child. Some are very fancy and others are more casual. Go with your own style, what you will feel comfortable with and have fun with it 🙂

Follow Julie Provost’s board Military Homecoming Outfits on Pinterest.

Advice For Your First Deployment

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Advice For Your First Deployment

Advice For Your First Deployment

My next guest post is by a friend of mine, Jess. She was the very first Army wife I met when we started this Army adventure. She was also my FRG leader. I asked her to write about advice she would give someone who was getting ready for their first deployment. Our first deployment was in 2006 and Jess was there to tell me a little bit of what to expect so I just knew this would be a great post! Thank you Jess 🙂

Stressed? Emotional? Perhaps even a bit stand-offish? Sounds like you’ve got a deployment coming up. The bad news is your Soldier is leaving. The good news is you aren’t alone!

There is no specific way to handle a deployment, especially your first deployment. Some people take it all in stride and seem to brush off the hardship. Others seem to physically break down the second their Soldier marches away. Still others seem to change entirely and don’t seem to return to normal until their Soldier is back in their arms again. No matter which category you find yourself falling into, remember this: You are STRONG. You are CAPABLE. You CAN do this!

Just as parenting a child has no actual guidebook, deployments don’t come with magic spouse field manuals. However, let’s not speak that phrase too loudly. I’ve seen some pretty crazy things put into FM’s before. The greatest way to make it through the hardships of a deployment are to simply listen to your heart, listen to other’s advice and pray. If you feel overwhelmed, talk to someone! Believe me, there are a lot of us out there who are willing to listen and lend a hand (or a shoulder) when necessary. Don’t be afraid to ask.

One of the greatest things you can do for yourself is to set personal goals.. You don’t have to get crazy with it; the point of a goal is to be able to accomplish it. Set mini-milestones throughout to ensure you stay focused and on-target. A big favorite that I’ve seen is weight-loss/healthier lifestyles. Say you set a goal to lose 25 pounds throughout the year. Remember to start off in small increments, and celebrate each 5 pounds you are able to lose. This is a great way to have something realistic to look forward to in a relatively short time! The greatest part is-IT’S ALL YOURS! It’s very easy to lose yourself in the constant stress during a deployment. Don’t forget that your Soldier still needs you just as much as you need him/her. Take care of yourself, even while supporting your deployed loved one.

If I could offer just one last bit of advice, it would be to stay busy and not forget that the world is still going round. It’s very common to feel bad about going out and having fun while your loved one is away, but remember, you need your personal time as well. It’s ok to go catch a movie with the girls, or secure a babysitter for a few hours of pampering at the salon every now and again. You are HouseHold 6. You keep the home fires burning. You can’t take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself first. Make yourself a priority, especially while your loved one is away. Don’t lose yourself to the chaos and stress, and always reach out if you need help. You follow a long legacy of the Silent Ranks. You can do this!

A Military Wife

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A Military Wife

A Military Wife

Lots of moving…
Moving…
Moving……

Moving far from home…
Moving two cars, three kids and one dog…all riding with HER of course….
Moving sofas to basements because they won’t go in THIS house;
Moving curtains that won’t fit;
Moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours.
Moving away from friends;
Moving toward new friends;
Moving her most important luggage: her trunk full of memories.
Often waiting…
Waiting…
Waiting…
Waiting for housing.
Waiting for orders.
Waiting for deployments.
Waiting for phone calls.
Waiting for reunions.
Waiting for the new curtains to arrive.
Waiting for him to come home,
For dinner…AGAIN!
They call her ‘Military Dependent’, but she knows better:
She is fiercely In-Dependent.
She can balance a check book;
Handle the yard work;
Fix a noisy toilet;
Bury the family pet…
She is intimately familiar with drywall anchors and toggle bolts.
She can file the taxes;
Sell a house;
Buy a car;
Or set up a move…
…..all with ONE Power of Attorney.
She welcomes neighbors that don’t welcome her.
She reinvents her career with every PCS;
Locates a house in the desert, The Arctic, Or the deep south.
And learns to call them all ‘home’.
She MAKES them all home.
Military Wives are somewhat hasty…
They leap into:
Decorating,
Leadership,
Volunteering,
Career alternatives,
Churches,
And friendships.
They don’t have 15 years to get to know people.
Their roots are short but flexible.
They plant annuals for themselves and perennials for those who come after them.
Military Wives quickly learn to value each other:
They connect over coffee,
Rely on the spouse network,
Accept offers of friendship and favors.
Record addresses in pencil…
Military Wives have a common bond:

The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands; his commitment is unique.
He doesn’t have a ‘JOB’
He has a ‘MISSION’ that he can’t just decide to quit…
He’s on-call for his country 24/7.
But for her, he’s the most unreliable guy in town!
His language is foreign
TDY
PCS
OPR
SOS
ACC
BDU
ACU
BAR
CIB
TAD
ABU
And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his.
She is the long- distance link to keep them informed;
the glue that holds them together.
A Military Wife has her moments:
She wants to wring his neck;
Dye his uniform pink;
Refuse to move to Siberia;
But she pulls herself together.
Give her a few days,
A travel brochure,
A long hot bath,
A pledge to the flag,
A wedding picture,
And she goes.
She packs.
She moves.
She follows.
Why?
What for?
How come?
You may think it is because she has lost her mind.
But actually it is because she has lost her heart.
It was stolen from her by a man,
Who puts duty first,
Who longs to deploy,
Who salutes the flag,
And whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military Husband,
She will remain his military wife.
And would have it no other way.
–Author Unknown

Faith Deployed: Review & Giveaway

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Faith Deployed Book

I love this book! I know I have mentioned the book before but the author, Jocelyn Green recently asked me to write a review. I will also be hosting a giveaway of this book!

The book is made up of little devotionals for those going through a deployment. Right after my husband deployed last year I saw this book at our PX. I just had to have it. As a Christian and a military spouse, I knew this book was written for someone in my situation.

The book itself is divided into sections. This is great so that if something specific is on your heart, you can look up devotionals under that topic. The different sections are:

Taking Every Thought Captive: Training Our Minds to a Biblical Perspective

Guarding the Heart: Protecting Ourselves from the World’s Temptations

Ambassadors for Christ: Viewing our Role as a Ministry

Taking Orders: Living the Life that has been Set Before Us

Total Surrender: Giving Up our Attempts to be in Control

The Price of Duty: Overcoming the Trials Inherent in Serving

Active Duty Faith: Leaning on a Faith that Sustains

Hope of Victory: Recognizing God’s Goodness

The setup of the book makes it very easy to read. You could sit and read several chapters in a row or just take in one at a time. During my husband’s deployment I did try to read at least one devotional a day. Some days I would end up reading two or three of them.

These 14 writers along with Jocelyn Green make up all the devotions in the book:

Pamela Anderson, Sarah Bell, Rebekah Benimoff, Paulette Harris, Jill Hart, Sara Horn, Denise McColl, Lori Mumford, Vanessa Peters, Lasana Ritchie. Sheryl Shearer, Ronda Sturgill, Marshele Carter Waddell and Eathel Weimer.

What is great about all these authors is that they come from all branches of the military, both Active duty and the Reserves. This helps bring perspective and a sense of realness to the devotions. I enjoyed the different tones and experiences that the different writers brought to the book. There were several devotions that I read and thought, “Wow that totally hit home!” Then others I could not relate to as well. The book was also able to address some of the fears I have had or do have about having a husband in the military.

Each little devotion starts with a Bible verse. I love that after each devotion there is a prayer and a question for the reader.

I would say this book is a necessity for anyone who is going through a deployment or military life in general.

Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives ~ Amazon Link

faithdeployedbutton

Faith Deployed Website

Now for the giveaway! Jocelyn Green has offered to giveaway 1 copy of this book to one of my readers 🙂 The winner will receive the book directly from her.

I will be using Random.org to pick the winner.

All you have to do is leave a comment between now and Friday Jan 22nd at 11:55pm Eastern time.

Good luck!!!

Click here for my full disclose policy!

The Best Time for a Military Family to Have a Baby

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When IS the best time for a military family to have a baby?When IS the best time for a military family to have a baby?

I think this is something that a lot of military wives struggle with. With all these deployments and not much time at home, how do you plan the perfect time to have a baby? Is it better they miss the pregnancy but are there for the birth? What if you plan it perfectly but then deployment orders change? What if it takes longer than you think to get pregnant?

Deciding to have AJ seemed easy. We had been apart for 4.5 months while DW and I were waiting on Command Sponsorship. When we got to Germany we just decided to see what would happen. When Ben left for Iraq we thought that he would be home when the baby was about 3 months old. At the end of the deployment, he was 11 months old. I have several friends that got pregnant on R&R that deployment. They were due about 2 months after the guys were supposed to be home. It was ideal! They would not miss the birth and should be home for most of that first year. But then we got extended and a lot of the dads missed the whole pregnancy and didn’t meet the child until they were a few months old.

You can plan what you can but things always seem to change. When my husband got home in Nov 2007 I knew that I wanted another baby but I knew I did not want one in Germany. I also knew I did not want to go through another deployment in Germany with 3 kids. I know a lot of people do it and I know I could have done it if it was what happened, but I didn’t want to plan for it.

I have talked with a lot of my military wife friends about what would be easier. They miss the birth but then get to enjoy an older baby? They miss the pregnancy but can be there for the birth? They are there through it all but miss the 2nd year? I don’t think there is one right answer.

My husband was with me during the first part of pregnancy. I was sick and tired all the time. I would not look forward to going through that without him. He missed the birth even though they tried to send him home in time. I could do another birth without him but I do not want to. He was there when DW was born and I hate that he missed out on that with AJ. He was gone during the early months of his life which in a way made things easier at night. I didn’t have to worry about waking him up when I had to nurse. But then the extra help is missing too. I also felt like it was harder for him to bond with AJ. He got to see him on R&R; when he was a few weeks old but then didn’t get to see him again until he was almost a toddler. This made bonding with him a lot harder. Not that it hasn’t happened because it has; just it took a lot longer than it would have.

Both deployments left me with a new 2-year-old. Hopefully, that won’t happen again. He hasn’t ever missed the first steps but has missed first words. I think as military wives we know they will miss something. We know other wives have been through it. We know we will get through it. We know it is all a part of the lifestyle. But it still doesn’t make it very easy.

I take a ton of pictures which I know helps but I need to be better about taking videos of the kids. Hopefully the Flip will help with that 🙂

So when is the best time to have a baby in the military? Who knows!!! You just have to decide for yourself and see what happens.