Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

9 Reasons You Know You Are Married To A Soldier

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I feel like the Army surrounds me, every day. We live near Fort Campbell, which is a very Army town. There is no getting away from Army life around here. Whether it is hearing that a friend’s husband is deploying soon, seeing at all the bumper stickers on the cars, or even hearing training on post, even from 15 minutes away.

Being a solder’s wife has been an interesting journey. Some of what we have dealt with has been so difficult and frustrating, other things, have been sweet and beautiful.

9 Reasons You Know You Are Married To A Soldier

Here are 9 reasons you know you are married to a soldier:

1. You go to post, not base, but sometimes you still call it that.

Yes, you know it is an Army POST not base, but a lot of civilians call it that and sometimes you do too. Everyone knows what you are talking about.

2. Fort Campbell, Fort Carson, and Fort Riley are on your wish list.

Everyone has places they want to go; some posts are more popular than others. What are your favorites?

3. People always ask you if you have watched Army Wives.

Yep, get asked this question all the time. And yes, I have watched Army Wives. And no, it isn’t just like our lives. Far from it in some episodes more than others.

4. Deployments. Deployments. Deployments. 

This could be my infantry wife side speaking, but Army life means deployments, at least in my experience. And while deployments are difficult, you can get through them, even if it is just one day at a time.

9 Reasons You Know You Are Married To A Soldier

5. Army stuff, everywhere.

Whether they are coming home or getting ready to leave. Whether it’s your closet or your garage. Whether it is your car or theirs. Army stuff everywhere.

6. “First to fight for the right,
And to build the Nation’s might,
And The Army Goes Rolling Along.
Proud of all we have done,
Fighting till the battle’s won,
And the Army Goes Rolling Along.”

Enough said.

7. You shop at the PX, especially when you are overseas.

The exchange is the PX, not the BX. During my time as a military spouse, I haven’t heard many people mix that up, especially when you are overseas and the exchange is your Walmart.

8. You can get stationed in Hawaii, Alaska, or Germany, or all three.

Yes, you can. If you can go overseas, the Army does have a lot of OCONUS choices. And if you are lucky, you can go to more than one. Unless you are too homesick for the US, in which case there are plenty of CONUS based Army posts you could end up at too.

9. You know what an FRG is; sometimes you go, sometimes you stay home.

Yep, we have FRGs in the Army. While they don’t always work out and they might frustrate you, going to at least one FRG meeting when you get to a new duty station is a good idea. You never know, you might get lucky and end up in a good one.

While this blog post is about being married to a soldier, I would love to have guest posts based on other branches. If you are interested, please email me at julie@soldierswifecrazylife.com

It Doesn’t Matter if You Have Small Children, Your Spouse Still Has To Go Away

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It Doesn't Matter if You Have Small Children, Your Husband Still Has to Go

Raising children is one of those things you can’t plan for. You can decide when you want to start having children, but you don’t know when they will come, how many you will have, and what their personalities might be. One baby could be extra fussy and the other quieter. Your easy baby could become a difficult toddler and throw you off your game.

As a military spouse, military life can bring extra challenges. You might wonder if your spouse will even be there for the birth. You might have to say goodbye to them right as the terrible twos start or when you think you need them the most.

The military doesn’t take a pause when you are raising small children.

They won’t hold your spouse back just because you are having trouble potty training your child or because they are still wetting the bed longer than you thought they might. They won’t send them home early because your 1st grader is struggling with reading. They won’t stop the mission because a spouse needs a break from solo parenting.

You see, when you are married to someone who has joined the military, you have to give up your two parent household sometimes. And when that happens, it isn’t always going to be convenient. It doesn’t matter if you have small children, your spouse still has to go and might have to be gone for a while.

It Doesn't Matter if You Have Small Children, Your Husband Still Has to Go

Whatever the situation, as a military family, it will never seem like a good time for your spouse to go away.

You will always feel like you need them. And because of this, you can start to panic. But don’t worry if you do, that is normal.

In a perfect world, our spouse would never have to go. They would be there for every pregnancy craving, every birth, every newborn day, every toddler fit, and every time a child needed both parents in the house. But unfortunately, we live in a military world where they have to go and go often.

If you are feeling the panic of solo parenting, if you are not sure how you will make it through, or if you are worried about going through any stage with your kids by yourself, here are a few things to keep in mind:

You will get creative

One of the first things I have learned about solo parenting with small children is that you will have to get creative. You will figure out ways to make things work in your household. Your life will start to look very different than you thought that your life would, and that’s okay.

They won’t miss everything

Although it might seem like they are going to miss everything having to do with your children, they won’t. They will be home for some things. There will be block leave, where they could have up to a month off, just to spend with their family.

There will be early days, days off, and weekends. When they are home, they will be able to be apart of your family. Although it is so difficult to get over them missing a milestone or a moment you can’t get back with your children, it helps to know that they will be there for other things through the years.

You can find friends who get your life

Finding other military spouses with small children will help you get through the more difficult days of this life. Why? Because they get it.

They understand what having three kids, with no husband coming home at night is like. They understand why you can’t just pack up your one, two, and three years old and fly home for four days for Thanksgiving. They understand cereal for dinner. They get what you are going through.

There are resources to help you

The good news is that there are resources for you while your spouse is gone, and even when they are not. While you won’t be able to find all of these at every duty station, make sure you take a look and see what is going on where you live. Both on post and off.

MOPS, Playgroups, YMCA programs, CYS hourly care, FRG events, New Parent Support, Church groups, Library times, get-togethers with friends, and more can be exactly what you need when you are going through this stage of your life. You don’t have to go through this alone, and you can find things to help.

3 Quick Tips To Get Through A Really Rough Deployment Day

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Three Quick Tips To Get Through A Really Rough Deployment Day

You know what I love? When you are in a middle of a deployment and things seem to be going well!

You are doing what you have to do, your kids are doing what they have to do, and everything flows.

That is the best feeling. You can really feel like you are thriving during the deployment instead of just trying to survive it. You feel like you got this!

But then, you might have days that don’t work out so well. You might have really rough deployment days, that just makes you want to cry. You might struggle with knowing how to get through them.

The good news is there are some things you can do to help get through these bad deployment days. Here are three quick tips that work for me:

Phone a friend!

Call someone you can vent to. Maybe that is a family member or a good friend. Find someone who understands that deployment can be difficult and can encourage you through them.

You don’t want someone that is going to say things like, “you knew what you signed up for,” or anything like that. Sometimes we just need to vent things out a little, cry things out a little, and then we can get to a better place.

If you can find other friends to go through a deployment with, you can help each other out with this. When one of you is having a bad time, the other can help bring the other through it. And if you are both dealing with a really rough deployment day at the same time, plan to meet up, order the kids some pizza, and have a fun tonight together to get through the more difficult parts of deployment.

Do something fun for an hour!

If time is dragging, which can lead to a really rough deployment day, you have to do something to kick-start it again. You need to make plans, even if just for an hour. You need to find something that will keep you busy.

Find something that will keep you busy for at least an hour. If you can do this, what usually happens is that you will fill that hour and more. And before you know it, the day is over and you have gotten through another one. It is all about putting your focus on something else instead of the deployment.

You should keep a list of things to do during a deployment that will keep you busy, that way you will always have a place to go to find something to do. It might be something as simple as going for a walk, or a long drive. Just find something else you can do, either alone, or with your kids, and you will find time will pass a little bit quicker.

Write in your journal!

Keeping a journal during a deployment is one of the best things you can do. Journals don’t judge, you can write in them whenever you want to, and they can help you get to a better place.

If you are angry at the military, write it out. If you are missing your spouse so much, you don’t think anyone else will understand, write it out. If you are just not sure how to express yourself, write it out.

Writing things out can be very good for you, no matter what you are going through. If you are in that really rought deployment spot, try to add journalling to your routine. It will probably make you feel much better.

Deployments can be tough on people for different reasons. What works for one person might not work for another, but hopefully, these tips can help you get through your next really rough deployment day.

Why You Should Dive Into Books During Your Next Deployment

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Why You Should Dive Into Books During Your Next Deployment

This post does contain affiliate links!

Twilight. I read all the Twilight books during one of our deployments. A friend told me about them, and even though I was already 30 years old, I dove right into that series.

I am a huge reader. I usually average about 70 books a year and would love to read more. I always have a couple of books going and always aware of some of the newest books that are out there.

I love most types of fiction, from a sweet romance to a crazy sci-fiction story. I read paper books, on my Kindle, and audiobooks. I always have at least one book with me. I also enjoy certain types of non-fiction, such as memoirs or fun topics that interest me.

There is not one day that goes by where I don’t read some part of a book, I just can’t do it. Reading is like brushing my teeth for me. Reading is just something I always do.

During deployments or any time my husband has been away from us, books have become even more important. I love to get lost in a series, read about some other time in history, or another place that I can’t physically visit at the moment.

I love a good binge-watch but there is something about getting lost in a good book that just takes me away from what I am dealing with and heals my soul a little bit. Stories are so very therapeutic and perfect to dive into during a deployment.

A good book can warm your heart, allow you to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and distract you from something you would rather not think about.

Reading a good book can be a form of self-care and as military spouses, we know how important that is. Reading can keep you busy and staying busy is a must during a deployment.

If you haven’t picked up a book for a while, maybe now is the time? There are so many good ones. So many books to get lost in. So many books that will take you to another place.

If you are feeling lonely and missing your spouse, a book can put you in a better mood. If you are having a rough time with the kids, a book can make you laugh, and help you feel better. If you are dying to be somewhere else, a book can take you all over the world.

On a practical level, reading a book before bed can make you sleepy. If you are having trouble falling asleep when your spouse is deployed, try reading in bed. My Kindle is right by my bed so if I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, I can read for a bit in order to do so. Works about 90% of the time 🙂

If you would love to read and feel like you don’t have any time, let me make a few suggestions.

  • Try audiobooks. You can listen to these while you are doing chores, while driving, or going on a walk. Use your library card with either Overdrive or Hoopla to check them out for free.
  • Always have a book handy. Put one in your car, put the Kindle app on your phone, or stick one in your purse. There are so many times you might have to wait somewhere and if you have a book on you, you can read a chapter or two. Jessica Turner’s book, The Fringe Hours: Making Time For You is a great read all about finding those extra moments.
  • Don’t think you have to read a book all in one sitting. I think part of the reason I can read so much is that I don’t feel the need to finish a book all in one sitting. If that were the case, I would never finish anything. Be okay with a chapter here and there, whenever you have time, and you will be able to get your reading done.
  • Read in front of your kids. Reading in front of your kids is totally fine. Just make sure they are safe, and you should be okay. You can read while you nurse, read while they are at the playground, or whenever you feel comfortable. Obviously, this is going to be an age thing and things will change as your kids get older but I don’t think kids growing up watching their parents read is ever a bad thing.
  • Join a book club. If you are really struggling, join a local book club. Usually, a book club will have one book you are supposed to read each month. Beyond that, at your book club, people will be talking about all the amazing books they are reading, and that can get your inspired too.
  • Join Bookstagram. Did you know that there is a name for all the accounts that share books on Instagram? Bookstagram is a wonderful place. I started an account just for books called The Fiction Book Cafe last fall and so glad that I did. I can talk about all the books I am reading and learn about what other book lovers are reading too. Make sure to join me over there 🙂

Need some suggestions on what to read?

For a sweet love story, check out One Day in December by Josie Silver, One True Loves by Taylor Jenkins Reid, or The Bride Test by Helen Hoang.

For a book with a twist, check out The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine, Then She Was Gone by Lisa Jewell, or Lock Every Door by Riley Sager.

For an amazing story that spans many years, check out Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens, the Great Alone by Kristin Hannah, or Ask Again, Yes by Mary Beth Keane.

For a fantastic historical fiction book, check out Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate, Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly, or The Last Year of the War by Susan Meissner.

For an emotional story, check out An American Marriage by Tayari Jones, This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel, or The Heart’s Invisible Furies by John Boyne.

For a really amazing memoir, check out Educated by Tara Westover, Becoming by Michelle Obama, or Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive by Stephanie Land

For a book about time travel, check out the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon, The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, or 11/22/63 by Stephen King. 

Looking for more suggestions? Check out my Goodreads and connect with me there too 🙂

How has reading helped you during a deployment?

The Truth About Missing Your Spouse

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He had been gone a few months, and I was getting used to the deployment. As if you could get used to living without your spouse. I was at that point where missing him went pretty deep.

I missed him being around. I missed the time we had together. I missed him coming home from work. I missed everything about him.

But then I reminded myself that missing your spouse is a part of the military spouse package.

The Truth About Missing Your Spouse

Deployments will happen. He will be gone. And I will miss him. 

When they first deploy, you miss their presence in your home. You miss them being there on a lazy Saturday and being there for your kids. But months into the deployment, missing them feels different.

The truth about missing your spouse is that sometimes you get used to doing so and other times you miss them so much you feel like your heart is going to burst. And you can have both of these feelings in the same week.

You can get to a point where them being gone is your norm. You have your routine. You feel as though you can make it through the deployment. Then one day you wake up and realize you haven’t kissed them in six months and you will have to wait for a few more.

You walk by a couple and feel pains of jealousy even though you have never met them before.

Even the simplest of things like holding hands when you are walking down the street seems like a huge loss. 

You miss the silly jokes and the flirting you guys do with one another.

You laugh at how you used to get annoyed when he worked an extra hour. You would give anything for that now.

You know he could be gone longer, but all you want at the moment is for him to be home ASAP.

You talk yourself into doing something fun, even if you are not in the mood to do so.

You smile for your kids, hug them while they cry, and try to reassure them that Daddy will be home soon, even if it is going to be a while.

Missing someone on a day-to-day basis is exhausting.

You will feel that catching up with you. Breathe. Try to find ways to relax. Try to find ways to connect with each other, even from overseas.

Know that all you are doing is getting through X amount of days before you will be together again. This is just a number. Your number might be long, your number might just be a few weeks, but you just need to get through them.

During my hardest days, I remind myself that all I need to do is get through those days the best way that I can. I plan things, I write in my journal, I remember all the fun times we have had and know we will have more in the future.

Missing your spouse is going to be difficult. This is a good thing.

That means you guys are connected, that you love one another, and when you are apart it can hurt.

That doesn’t mean you will be sad 100% of the time. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself. At the end of the day, you have to live your life, even without them.

Staying in bed for a nine-month deployment simply isn’t an option.

The truth about missing your spouse is in the end, the distance makes you stronger. You figure out ways to get through those days apart. You learn how to communicate in ways you didn’t have to in the past. You learn not to take one another for granted.

If you are in a period of time where you are missing your spouse, know that you are not alone. So many other military spouses, as well as other spouses, are going through the same thing. You will get through this. You will make it to the other side.

What do you to help yourself when you are really missing your spouse?

Looking for more deployment posts?

The Independent Dependents in the Military World

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The Independent Dependents in the Military World

PCS by myself with an 18-month-old. Check.

Go 11 months without seeing my husband. Check.

Give birth without my husband by my side. Check.

As military spouses, we have to do so many things, all by ourselves, that we never thought we would.

When I was giving birth to my first little boy, before Army life, I knew I wanted more children. I never would have thought that my husband wouldn’t be there for their births too.

When we got married, and I looked back at previous long-distance relationships, I never thought I would go through that with him. A long-distance marriage? Who wants that???

If someone would have told me at 23 that when I was 26 I would be moving an 18-month old to Germany by myself, I would have told them they were crazy. There was no way I was going to do that, nope.

You probably have similar stories. During military life, you may have had to do things you didn’t think you would have had to do. Things that didn’t even seem possible. Things your former self wouldn’t be able to wrap your mind around.

But the truth is, although they may call us “dependents” we are anything but. We have to be independent, in so many different ways.

If your spouse is deployed, you will probably be the one making a lot of the decisions around the house that you normally would make together. Parenting? That all falls to you pretty much. Sure, your deployed spouse can give you some input but they are not the ones there on a day-to-day basis.

This can be SO taxing sometimes. And can lead to some serious burnout. You might feel like you are never going to get a break. No matter how many times people remind you that you are strong, it doesn’t always feel like it.

On the other hand, becoming more independent, being the person who holds everything all together, that can feel empowering. You can take that strength with you through the rest of your military journey.

I know for me, when I am feeling not quite so strong, I remind myself of my 15-month deployment, or that I took a Space-A trip from Germany and back again with a two and four-year-old. I remind myself that I can do hard things, scary things I never thought I would be able to do.

Yes, we are “dependents” as far as what the military will officially call us, but we are anything but.

We work hard to keep things together, we have to be both mom and dad, and we do it each and every day because we know we have to.

If you are new to this life, you could be feeling so very intimidated by all of this. Maybe you consider yourself fiercely independent, but at the same time are not sure what to expect. Maybe you don’t feel that way at all, and wonder how you will get through so much alone.

The truth is, you will surprise yourself, time and time again. What seems impossible right now, will be possible when you have to go through it.

I can remember when my husband first talked about joining the military. Our son was not even a year old and all I could think was that if he did join, I would have to parent without him and I couldn’t do that. I needed him with me, at home, each and every day.

But then something changed. He left for Germany, and I was suddenly a solo parent to a 13-month-old. And it was so, so very hard at the time. But somehow I made it through that, and many more months and years of solo parenting to come.

I learned a big lesson when my husband joined the Army. That I could do hard things that I didn’t think I could do.

That I could be more independent than I thought I could be. That I could figure out how to make things work, and how to get through this crazy military life.

I don’t have it all figured out. Sometimes when he is gone, I really wish he was home. Being the main person to take care of the home, and the boys, in addition to everything on my plate is overwhelming at times. But, at the end of the day, I know I can handle what comes my way.

Handling military life doesn’t always mean I have to handle every little thing personally. I can ask for help. I can hire a service. I can take certain things off my plate.

Asking for help never comes easy for me. I want to be able to do everything all myself. I don’t want to have to rely on anyone else.

But sometimes, I simply can’t. I have to ask. I have to find someone to help me.

Being independent might not always come easy, even though we are required to be so.

If you are married, you are in a partnership. You want to help each other out. But sometimes, especially during a deployment, your partner and you might feel pretty distant, or that you have to do everything the two of you might do together.

This is one of those things that can be so difficult about military life. The feeling that everything falls to you. The feeling that you no longer have a partner.

But here is the thing, you do have a partner. They might be overseas, but they are still with you in spirit. They might be so busy you barely get to speak, but they still have your back. And you as the spouse will have to become more independent through this, but that will help you through other difficult times in the future.

As you look ahead on your military spouse journey, there will be seasons when everything will fall to you and there will be times when things feel more normal. There will be moments when you feel like you have all of this figured out and moments when you feel a bit lost and are unsure of what the future holds.

Remember, you are not alone in any of this. No matter where you are stationed or where you live, other spouses are dealing with all of this too. You will look back on your years as a military spouse and be amazed at everything you have gone through, and everything you have accomplished.

It’s Okay To Miss Your Spouse

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It's Okay To Miss Your Spouse

Military life can look quite different depending on your service member’s MOS, time in service, rank, and location. Some service members deploy more often than others. Some go to more trainings. Over the years, things can change. You will have periods of time when they are gone a lot, and periods when they are home.

Sometimes military life is a monthly drill weekend, two weeks in the field, and random trainings with a deployment every five years.

Sometimes military life is coming and going on a regular basis, home for two weeks, gone for three. And repeat.

Sometimes military life is a nine-month deployment, home for a year, then get ready to do it again.

Sometimes military life is a CQ, right on the day you need them with you the most.

The reality is, there will be plenty of times when your spouse is away from you, and you miss them. And some of those times will be longer than others.

Sometimes, we as a military community want to play the one up game. Where your spouse has to be gone X amount of days before you can miss them. We want to say that a shorter deployment is much easier than a longer one. We don’t want to hear anyone whose spouse is gone for a shorter amount of time than our spouse is, say they are having a hard time.

But the truth is, it is okay to miss your spouse, no matter how long they are gone.

It's Okay To Miss Your Spouse

You see, over the years I have realized something. While longer deployments mean more days to get through, shorter deployments can still be very difficult.

While drill weekends are so much shorter than other times we have been apart, they tend to happen at the wrong time, make that weekend pretty difficult.

While a two-week training is nothing compared to being gone all summer long, that two-week training can bring up a lot of emotions for people.

It’s okay to miss your spouse, no matter what you have been through in the past, or what you might go through in the future.

It’s okay to miss your spouse when you are the only one at the soccer game, for the third week in a row.

It’s okay to miss your spouse because it is your son’s first day of kindergarten and your husband has to look at photos from the day, instead of sending them off by your side.

It’s okay to miss your spouse because you had a date night planned and CQ got in the way.

It’s okay to miss your spouse because he has been in South Korea for five months, and he has seven more to go.

It’s okay to say that life is better when they are home and that you are having a bad time when they are gone. It’s okay to yell surrender. It’s okay to talk to others about this.

It's Okay To Miss Your Spouse

As military spouses, our lives will change over the course of our service member’s career. Sometimes we will be the one there for our friends, helping them through the deployment. Sometimes we will be the ones who are missing our spouse so much, that hearing their name makes us cry.

At the end of the day, it’s okay to miss our spouse, to want them back with us, to want them not to have to go as much. Doing so doesn’t make us weak, it makes us have to figure out how to be strong.

So if you hear people say that you don’t have the right to miss your spouse because of whatever reason, ignore them. You do have that right. Whether they are gone for the weekend or for over a year. You are a military spouse, and missing your love is apart of the deal.

Going through a deployment? Check out my deployment posts; they should help 🙂 

 

To The Military Spouse Whose Spouse Just Left For Basic

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To The Military Spouse Whose Spouse Just Left For Basic

Maybe this was the plan. You would get married, and they would leave.

Maybe this was never the plan. You have been married for five years, and now they are going to join.

Whatever the case might be, saying goodbye to your spouse going off to basic training is a big deal, filled with so many different emotions.

You might be sad, even though this was something you wanted to do too.

You might be worried, knowing that eventually, they might have to go to war.

You might be anxious, having to be alone for the first time since you have been together.

All of these feelings are normal and expected. They come with sending a spouse or even a boyfriend or girlfriend off to join the military. This season in your life is going to feel pretty complicated, but you don’t have to go through it alone.

So, to the military spouse whose spouse just left for basic, to the military spouse whose husband just left for Fort Moore, to the military spouse whose wife just left for Fort Jackson…welcome to military life.

You, as a military spouse have started a new journey. One your friends and family might not totally understand. One you might not understand.

There will be lonely nights, but there will also be love letters.

There will be days when you can’t help but cry, but there will be days when you smile with pride when you first see your soldier in uniform.

There will be times when you question if you are cut out for this, and there will be days when you know in your heart you were.

As a new military spouse, everything can feel so overwhelming. What is DEERS? Where do you go to get your first ID? When will you see your service member again?

Know that you don’t have to know everything right away. I don’t even know everything after 14 years, and there is still so much I could learn. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, which can also be a great way to get to know other people.

Stay busy. Whether it is during basic training, AIT, or a future separation or deployment. Staying busy is going to be the key.

Make friends. Be friendly, and be open to meeting new people. Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, you are going to need friends in your new life.

If you are not near a duty station, join an online group, and then when you do get to your first duty station, make plans to get out there and get to know your new community.

Don’t be afraid to cry and let things out. Military life means you might have to do that sometimes. Military life means you might not be able to always keep it all together.

So, to the military spouse whose spouse just left for basic, try not to second guess your decision. The decision to follow the person you love through this new life. The decision to become a military spouse.

There will be times when you will step back with wonder of all you have seen and done since your spouse joined the military. There will be times when you can support other spouses because you have been through it too. There will be times when things don’t feel so new and so scary. I promise.

If you have children, military life means solo parenting and basic training might be your first taste of that. The idea of being both mom and dad, even for a few months can be completely overwhelming. You might never have had to solo parent before, not even for a weekend.

But you will find that you will figure out how to solo parent like a boss. You might have to throw out some of your ideas, you might have to change the way you do certain things, but you will figure out what works best for you and your kids.

That might be pizza nights every Friday with a neighbor and their kids. That might mean putting off potty training a few months until your spouse is back home with you. That might mean having to rely more on friends and family than you are used to.

Basic training is going to be your first experience as a military spouse. This season is going to be hard for both of you. Remember too, basic training is not the same as regular military life.

Once your spouse gets orders to their first duty station, you will be able to move there. Sometimes this can happen quickly, and other times, especially overseas, it can take more time. But once you get there and start to get settled, your life will feel a little more normal.

If they are not deployed, or away at training, they will probably go to work every day and be home at night. They should have weekends and holidays off, and sometimes even a three or four day weekend during the year. There will be family time and time to be a couple.

This will of course change if they do deploy or have to go away for training. You might also be apart before and after a PCS and CQ means 24-hour duty. Keep this in mind when they do leave for basic and you are feeling like you will never be able to see them again or that your life will never include anything normal again. That simply isn’t true.

So, to the military spouse whose spouse just left for basic…know, you got this.

However long they will be away from you, you got this.

However difficult this new military life journey may seem, you got this.

You are strong enough for this life, even if you have to take it one day a time. You are strong enough for when they are away at basic training, and any future deployment or separation. You are strong enough and you don’t have to go through this alone.

If you are just starting your military spouse journey, make sure to take a look at my blog posts on deployments, and posts on other parts of military life. You don’t have to walk this road alone.