Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

When You Are Stationed Overseas for the Holidays

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I love her books but haven’t read this one yet.

Christmas 2008, my friend and I took our kids out to the local Christmas Market. We lived in a small village and even they had a small Christmas market. I love Germany during the Christmas season. They go big. Every town square is decorated. Most towns and villages have their own Christmas markets and you can tell the whole country is ready to celebrate.

We spent 4 holiday seasons in Germany and each one was so magical. If you are lucky enough to be overseas for the holidays, take advantage of what is going on around you. Once you move back to the states you will no longer be surrounded by the culture. You want to take advantage of that experience.

What You Need to Do When You Are Overseas for the Holidays

So what should you do when you are overseas for the holidays? Here are some ideas!

Visit Local Events

Whether you visit the Christmas markets in Germany or the light displays in South Korea, be a part of the culture and embrace what the country does to celebrate. You will make fun memories and have a lot of good stories to tell people back home about your holiday experiences in another country. Sometimes your military installation will also have events based on where you live. See what is going on and what you can be a part of. Remember, people in the US pay a lot of money to visit these same places during this time of year. You are already there, embrace what your host country has to offer.

Adopt a New Tradition

Learn a new tradition that will work for your family that you can take back home with you. For example, St. Nicholas Day. This is celebrated on December 6 in Germany. Children leave out their shoes and St. Nicholas will come by during the night and fill them with goodies. You also will get a chance to meet St. Nicholas around German towns and villages. If you happen to be able to be stationed in more than one overseas location, you can turn your own family’s holiday season into a mix of traditions you have picked up from all the places you have lived.

Think Outside the Box

Sometimes you are going to have to think outside the box when you are overseas for the holidays. If your Christmas day has always included making a big turkey but your overseas apartment doesn’t have a big enough oven to cook one, think about what else you can do. Why not make a traditional holiday meal based on what the locals eat? Or, invite your neighbors over for a potluck asking them to bring their favorite dishes. If it seems weird to do the holidays differently, just think of the changes as a new experience and one you won’t be able to have later on down the road when you are back in the states.

Take Photos and Share

Take a lot of pictures of your holiday and what you did to celebrate while you are overseas. Family and friends back home would love to see what you did that was different from what they do back home. You could also make a special scrapbook about your holidays overseas. One that you can look back at years in the future or share with your children who might not have remembered those years.

Even if you do go home for Christmas, see what holidays traditions you can take part of before you leave. Embrace your tempory country and learn from the people who call the country home. Enjoy the holiday season and make new memories with your family and new friends.

What holiday traditions do you plan to adopt from the country you are currently living in?

When You Don’t Feel Strong Enough For Military Life

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I couldn’t believe he was gone. I couldn’t believe this deployment had started. I couldn’t believe I had to go through this again.

I certainly didn’t feel strong enough for this. I didn’t feel strong enough for the deployment. I didn’t feel strong enough for military life.

And yet, somehow, the days went by. Somehow I made it through that deployment. Somehow I was strong enough to do just that.

Through that deployment, and other past deployments, I realized something powerful.

Not feeling strong enough to get through something doesn’t mean I am not strong enough to do so.

Often times, us military spouses feel like if we are not 100% prepared for any possible situation, if we can’t get through everything military life brings with a smile on our face, if we can’t do a thing without a couple of meltdowns, we are not a good military spouse.

This isn’t true at all!

The truth is, you are not always going to feel as strong as you want to. I certainly don’t. Some days I might feel like I have military life down, and other days? Not so much.

So, if you are not feeling strong enough for military life, you are not alone, and there is nothing wrong with you.

Sometimes military life makes it hard to feel strong.

But what can you do about this? How can you find your inner strength? How can you get to a place where you feel like you can handle what military life is currently throwing at you?

Depend on your friends

I am not sure what I would have done over the years without my friends. They truly got me through, each and every deployment. From helping me stay busy, to being a shoulder to cry on. Depend on your friends, they can help you up when you are feeling down.

Don’t compare

This one is hard for me. When it feels like your husband is always the one who has to go, being happy for others can be more difficult. When it seems like your kids are the ones who have to go without their dad around, life can feel pretty unfair.

The best thing to do is to stop comparing yourself to other spouses, both civilian and military. Some service members deploy more than others. Some civilian spouses will never have to spend more than a weekend away from their spouse. And that is so hard to take.

But we can’t compare and dwell on how unfair everything is. We have to pull ourselves out of that. And if we can do that, we will be able to get to a better place and we won’t struggle with jealousy quite as much.

This too shall pass

If you need to tell yourself, “this too shall pass,” 50 times a day, do it. Reminding yourself that this deployment is a temporary situation is going to go a long way. I can’t tell you how many times I would feel like I was in stuck in a deployment funk, but simply reminding myself that the deployment was temporary helped me feel so much better.

When we are going through a difficult time, feeling like this is how life will always be is way too easy to do, but that isn’t the case. Look at how far you have come, and know you can be strong through the rest of the deployment too.

If you need extra help

If you are going through a deployment and you struggle with anxiety (which I do) or depression, please don’t be afraid to ask for extra help. Your mental health is so important and working on that during a deployment is a must.

The Secret to Not Hating Your Duty Station

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Have you ever lived in an amazing place and still hated being there? Maybe it was Hawaii? Or Europe? Maybe it was a place you thought you would love but now that you have been there a few years, you really can’t find the love? Maybe you are trying to bloom where you are stationed but coming up short?

Hating your duty station is a thing, and some places get a worse wrap than others. On the other hand, I know plenty of people who have been stationed at places like Fort Polk, Fort Bliss, and 29 Palms and loved their time there. Yes, they did.

So why do some people hate a perfectly decent duty station and why do others love the more unpopular places? I have a theory on this. I know the secret to not hating your duty station. It is part of the reason why sometimes I love living near Fort Campbell and sometimes I don’t. It is why some people love Bliss, and others hate Germany.

The secret to loving your duty station is finding your people.

Sure, there are always exceptions to this. You grew up in Florida, you hate the snow, and now you are at Fort Drum. Your entire family lives on the East Coast, and you are in Alaska for three years. Your house sucks, and your husband has been deployed way too many times since you got to this duty station.

But even in those situations, finding your people will help you.

Having a friend group is going to change things around for you. Having people to connect with, hang out with, and to call friends is going to make you fall in love with almost any duty station, no matter how much you hate the weather.

The Secret to Not Hating Your Duty Station

Think about it.

You PCS somewhere new. You are not sure what to think. You never even thought you would live in that state let alone this part of the country. You feel lost, like you will never fit in.

You worry you won’t find your tribe. That you won’t find people, who get you. That you will have to do this by yourself, all by yourself.

But then, you meet another spouse who loves to read just like you do. And she has a two-year-old too. Maybe you don’t have any kids but you have three dogs, and you find out your neighbor has three of her own. You get invited to a playdate and realize that you may have found your people. You have figured it out. Things are looking up.

When you connect with others, when you have people to make plans with, when you do not have to walk this military road alone, something happens. You start to feel better, you start to feel like you belong, you realize that no matter how much you didn’t want to come to Fort Whatever You Now Live, you can start to call that place home.

The hardest part about finding your people is taking the steps to find them.

Because sometimes that can take a while. Sometimes the first people you meet are not going to be your people. Sometimes giving up and trying to be okay without friends is the easiest thing to do.

But…this is not the best plan.

You need to find people. You just do. Your spouse is going to deploy eventually. And if they don’t they will probably have to go somewhere at some point.

The Secret to Not Hating Your Duty Station

You will want people to text in the middle of the day, to hang with. People who share the same fears you do, and can help you through your struggles.

So if you hate your duty station, before you write the place off, have you found your people yet?

If not, choose to try to do that. Commit to get out there and meet new people. Keeping trying until you do, the struggle with be worth it.

If you have children, look for a local MOPS group. MOPS stands for Mothers of Preschoolers. You don’t just have to have a preschooler though. A typical MOPS group is for newly pregnant women through women whose youngest child is in Kindergarten. MOPS Next is for those whose youngest child is in the 8th grade. They have childcare for your kids, and you will be able to meet other moms to connect with.

If you are religious, check out the chapel for programs. There are Bible studies, book clubs and even events for kids.

If you like fitness, look for a local work out or running group or join a gym and take some classes.

If you like to read, look for a book club.

If you are new to your duty station, check out the newcomers class, you might meet some new people there.

If you have free time, check out the volunteer opportunities on post as well as in your civilian communities.

If you want to connect with military spouses in the FRG, go to a meeting, see what is going on there. You could end up with a great FRG that would be a fantastic resource for you.

If you have school-aged children, get involved in the PTO or PTA.

If you don’t have children, see if there is a child-free Facebook group at your duty station you can find people to connect with.

There are so many different ways to meet other people no matter where you live. Sometimes duty stations in the middle of nowhere make finding other people easier than in bigger places. You have to depend on each other more, and the community is a closer-knit one.

While meeting new people, you might run into drama and frustrating situations that will make you want to stick to your own home, but don’t let that stop you from finding your people. You need them and trust me, not everyone is awful, even if it feels like it sometimes.

Change things up, go to new places, join a new job, and keep trying because once you figure out the secret of not hating your duty station, you might just fall in love with the place.

Jack Daniel’s and the ASYMCA’s Operation Ride Home Initiative

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The Jack Daniel Distillery and the Armed Services YMCA (ASYMCA) have begun the 13th year of their “Operation Ride Home” (ORH) campaign. This initiative helps over 1,000 junior-enlisted service members and their families travel home during the holiday season. Since its start in 2011, nearly 13,000 people have benefited from this program.

Jack Daniel’s, consistent in its support, has donated $100,000 this year. They encourage people to contribute to the cause by visiting operationridehome.com.

The Tennessee Whiskey distillery, along with its business partners and the public, has raised almost $3 million. This funding assists active-duty, junior-enlisted military personnel, and their families in traveling from their duty stations to homes across the country. But for every service member and family helped, there are ten who are waiting, according to ASYMCA officials.

ASYMCA works with military commands to identify and prioritize junior-enlisted service members and families facing financial need. The program supports service men and women from the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, Space Force, and Coast Guard, enabling them to travel to all 50 states through various means, including airline tickets and pre-paid debit cards.

“Operation Ride Home has provided life-changing experiences for these heroes and their families, and it is a true honor and privilege for all of us at Jack Daniel’s to help get them home,” said Chris Fletcher, Jack Daniel’s Master Distiller. “For so many of our junior-enlisted, the cost of travel is out of reach for them, but this assistance helps ensure they’ll be where they need to be during the holidays – at home with family, friends and the ones they love.”

“For the last 13 years, the Armed Services YMCA and Jack Daniel’s has made home for the holidays a reality for junior-enlisted service members and their families,” said ASYMCA CEO Bill French, VADM, USN (Ret.) “This gift means so much to these deserving military families, and it would not be possible without the generosity of Jack Daniel’s.”

Jack Daniel’s was officially registered by the U.S. Government in 1866 and is based in Lynchburg, Tennessee. The Jack Daniel Distillery is the first registered distillery in the United States and is on the National Register of Historic Places. Jack Daniel’s is the maker of the world-famous Jack Daniel’s Old
No. 7 Tennessee Whiskey, Gentleman Jack Double Mellowed Tennessee Whiskey, Jack Daniel’s Single Barrel Tennessee Whiskey, Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey, Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Fire, Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Apple, Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Rye, Jack Daniel’s Sinatra Select and Jack Daniel’s Country Cocktails. Today, Jack Daniel’s is a true global icon found in more than 170 countries around the world and is the most valuable spirits brand in the world as recognized by Interbrand.

The Armed Services YMCA (ASYMCA) is the oldest military support organization in the United States, founded in 1861. The ASYMCA’s mission enhances the lives of active-duty junior enlisted military members and their families in spirit, mind and body through programs relevant to the unique challenges of military life. In 2022, the ASYMCA engaged nearly 200,000 individuals and delivered more than 550,000 points of service through its 12 Branches and 24 Affiliate Partners, serving 89 military installations across the U.S. To learn more about how the ASYMCA is “Strengthening Our Military Family(R)” visit www.asymca.org.

And make sure to always drink responsibly!

What to Think About Before You Marry a Service Member

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Whatever situation you are in or whatever situation you have been in, you did have to make the decision to become a military spouse. You had to decide that YES, you wanted to spend your life with someone who is in the military. That YES, you wanted your future to include the military.

So, what does being married to someone in the military mean? What would life be like to marry your boyfriend who is now a soldier? What does it mean when your husband of five years wants to join the Marines?

What would it mean to marry the person you are in love with knowing that marrying them meant moving across the country and living as a military spouse?

Here are some things you need to think about when trying to make this decision:

Saying Goodbye Will Be A Part Of Your Life

No matter who you are or what type of military spouse you are, you will have to say goodbye and often. You will have to sleep alone. You will have to wait for orders and your future.

This is all a part of military life. How long they are gone and how often they will go can vary but the truth is, you will have to say goodbye to your spouse on a regular basis. And it is not an easy thing to do.

You Will Have To Be Away From Home

If your spouse is going to be going Active duty military, you most likely will have to move away from home. In some cases, you can try to stay if your home is near a military installation or if your spouse does some type of duty that allows him to live close by to where you are from.

However, in most cases, you will not be able to stay there for their entire career and you will have to move away. You could end up across the country, across the world, or just the next state over. You never really know and sometimes you don’t get a say, especially as they move up in rank.

The Kid Thing

Ahh, kids. When you are thinking about the future and having kids, do you think about how your spouse might not be there? It’s a sad reality that they might miss your pregnancy, the birth, and the 1st year.

They could miss the terrible 2s or kindergarten. They could miss out on so much and sometimes there is nothing you can do about that but accept that. Can you handle that?

Here is a secret. You might think you can’t handle that, but…you might be surprised what you can do when you love a member of the military.

I thought I couldn’t do that part of military life, not at first. In the end, I have been able to get through it, and at some points, it was even harder than I thought. But in the end, I just do what I have to do.

Some military couples don’t plan to have kids while in the military. Their plan is to have them later on in life and that is an option as well. But that also depends on how long they want to stay in and when the couple wants to start their family.

Solo parenting is quite challenging, but you will find that you are not alone when you have to do it. So many military spouses will be solo parenting with you, which makes things a bit easier.

The “D” Word

Your spouse might deploy for just a few months at a time. They might deploy for a year. They might have to deploy off and on for years.

There is no way to sugar coat a deployment. They are rough, from the pre-deployment stage to after they come home and everyone tries to get back to normal life. If there are no deployments, there will be trainings or other reasons they have to go away for weeks or months at a time.

The Community

I have talked about the difficult parts of military life. The parts that make it hard to want to commit to this life. The reasons some people get out of the military before they thought they would. But what about the good things about military life?

As hard as this life gets, you won’t be alone in going through your challenges. There is an amazing military community out there. Many other spouses have gone through what you are going through.

Other military spouses get this life and can offer a listening ear. You will make some of your closest friends as military spouses. Friends that will help you through solo parenting, deployments, pcsing, and even retirement.

Is It Worth It?

Is military life worth it? Is your love worth it? Only you can answer that.

Only you know what you can handle and what you can’t.

I will tell you that if in your heart of hearts that you know you should be with this person, and that walking away from them is not an option, you can find ways to make it as a military spouse.

So many of us are doing it right now, taking military life one day at a time. And we are here to support you in your own military spouse journey.

What are you most worried about when it comes to committing to military life?

The Truth About Military Life, In 30 Military Life Memes

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The Truth About Military Life, In 30 Military Life Memes

Military life is truly an adventure! Over the years I have found myself in different situations, going through different challenges and meeting some of the most amazing people. Here are 30 memes that talk about the truth of military life. Enjoy these military life memes!

Military Life Memes

Yes! Sometimes we have to take those deployment days one day at a time!

 

Military Life Memes

Summer block leave is the best!

 

Military Life Memes

Such is military life!

 

Military Life Memes

The reality is, summer is always hard to plan.

 

Military Life Memes

Yes, I thought Prom was it, but now there is the military ball!

 

Military Life Memes

Because they are always worth waking up for…

 

Military Life Memes

So true. They don’t care. The homecoming dresses are for us.

 

Military Life Memes

I am pretty sure I still have stickers from 2006.

 

Military Life Memes

Yep. Don’t shop on payday, just don’t.

 
Military Life Memes

Yep! Just keep working towards that finish line.

 

Military Life Memes

For reals! At least we don’t have to share every night!

 

Military Life Memes

Yes, it is totally okay to cry sometimes. Totally.

 

Military Life Memes

Yep! Not all of us get to live near the beach 🙂

 

Military Life Memes

We all want to make a deployment a little easier!

 

Military Life Memes

You got this! PCS like a boss!

 

Military Life Memes

Yep! All the cereal, all the time.

 

Military Life Memes

Seriously! You really don’t know that far ahead of time.

 

Military Life Memes

Yep! Sounds about right!

 

Military Life Memes

So true. That’s hard, no matter what age your children are.

 

Military Life Memes

So true! We are always learning about military life!

 

Military Life Memes

Yes! That’s what military life is all about!

 

Military Life Memes

No, there really isn’t.

 

Military Life Memes

Seriously! If it’s not one thing, it’s another.

 

Military Life Memes

Sounds good to me! All of these things will help through those deployment days.

 

Military Life Memes

So true, that is the best way to make friends at your new duty station.

 

Military Life Memes

So true, especially in this military life!

 

Military Life Memes

Going through the stages, one at a time.

 

Military Life Memes

That is the best! You never know when you will see your military friends again and a new duty station.

 

Military Life Memes

Yes, remember, deployments don’t last forever.

 

Military Life Memes

Yes, yes we do need those military friendships.

Here are more military life meme posts to enjoy:

13 Memes About Military Spouse Friendship

22 Memes All About Military Marriage

14 Memes for Your Milspouse Life

12 Memes About Military Kids

The Veteran’s Spouse

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“This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.”

—Elmer Davis

Veterans Day is always so emotional for me. Not just because of who I am married to but also because of all the other Veterans and their spouses who have come before us. All the men and women who have served and those who stood beside them. Veterans Day is a day to remember them and to thank those that are still with us.

The Veteran’s spouse is not a new role. As long as there have been people who are willing to sign up to join the Military, there have always been spouses who have stood beside them. They stood by as their husbands or wives went off to war.

Whether that meant fighting against another American in the Civil War, going to Europe during the World Wars, staying behind as they headed to Korea or Vietnam, or the “modern” Veteran’s spouse who watched their spouse join up during a time of war and knowing they would most likely be headed over to Iraq and Afghanistan fighting a war that might never really end.

Honor to the soldier and sailor everywhere, who bravely bears his country’s cause. Honor, also, to the citizen who cares for his brother in the field and serves, as he best can, the same cause.”

– Abraham Lincoln

We are strong, we have to be. We have to be there for our spouses. Stand behind them and be their rock. Through peacetime and wartime. Through a PCS or goodbye for a two-week training. Some have had to say goodbye and were not able to say hello again. Their spouse did not return. Some have stood by when they did return but as a different person.

Some have had to walk away from their marriage, some have stayed.

Some have stood by for 20+ years of Active duty life, others only needed to fill that role for a few years before their spouse moved on to a different career.

“It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the organizer, who gave us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.”

–Charles M. Province

Military Spouses are strong not because we are made of something else. We are strong because we have to be. Because history wanted us to fill this role and we decided we could do it.

Being a Veteran’s spouse can mean a lot of different things. It always means that there is a story behind your spouse’s career and time in the Military. We don’t know all of it. We only know what they tell us but we do know there is so much more they could never share.

As a Veteran’s spouse, I belong to a community of people who are doing what I have done. Whether it was in the 1940s and all they got from their soldier was a letter in the mail to those who can video chat every day.

We might all have had different types of experiences but one thing is clear, we are the spouses of those who have signed up to serve their country. We are the ones left behind and the ones they come home to. We are a part of history and we will always be there to help those who come after us.

“The willingness of America’s veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting gratitude.”

– Jeff Miller

 

22 Signs That You Have Been Stationed in Germany During Your Spouse’s Military Career

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I was recently added to a Facebook group for my husband’s first duty station in Schweinfurt, Germany. While the post has been closed, the group is mostly about our memories of our time there. My husband arrived there in late 2005 and me, and my son joined him in March of 2006. We lived there until May of 2008 when we moved to our second duty station in Germany, Grafenwoehr. We were there until we moved back to the states in 2010.

Spending four years in Germany was quite the experience. Sometimes I loved being there; sometimes I hated it. Sometimes I couldn’t quite believe we were living in Germany. Having a baby, raising toddlers, and having a deployed husband can make for a different kind of experience than we might otherwise have had.

As I think back to those years, I realize there are quite a few things about being stationed in Germany that will stick with you forever. That those of us that had the experience have a bond, one that can connect us over the years.

Here are 22 signs that you have been stationed in Germany during your spouse’s military career:

1. You can still recite AFN commercials, even years later. I mean, you did see the same ones over and over, how could they not stick in your head?

2. No matter how bad on post housing is now, you can handle it; you survived stairwell housing, you can survive anything.

3. You miss your beer truck. Enough said.

4. You are still finding Euro coins, in every corner of your house.

5. You have at least one child who was born there if not two or three.

22 Signs That You Have Been Stationed in Germany During Your Spouse's Military Career

6. “Ausfahrt” still makes you giggle.

7. The German section at your local Commissary simply doesn’t measure up.

8. You can talk about that one time when you flew nine hours on a flight with a one-year-old on your lap, trying to save $700 on their ticket. Not worth it. 

9. You get excited when ordering a soda and it arrives with ice in it.

10. German music still makes you smile.

11. Whenever you meet another spouse and hear they were stationed in Germany, you have to talk about your shared experiences.

22 Signs That You Have Been Stationed in Germany During Your Spouse's Military Career

12. You miss the community feel that you can only find overseas.

13. You get annoyed that you have to pay for a care package. You miss when they were free. APO to APO shipping was the best.

14. It takes you two years until you stop asking every store and restaurant if they take a card. Of course, they do silly.

15. You keep wondering why your waitress wants to rush you out of the restaurant, in Germany, they let you chill for as long as you wanted.

16. You still get super excited that you can go to Target anytime you want.

17. You cry when you break a dish because you know you can’t go back to the little German shop you bought it from and buy another one.

18. Your children have been to 10 countries already, and they are only six year’s old.

19. You swore you would never go to Taco Bell or Burger King again, but that only lasted three months.

20. The idea of being 9 hours behind your deployed spouse is crazy; you are used to just a couple hours difference.

21. You feel guilty throwing away anything that isn’t food scraps and wonder why your American city doesn’t recycle at all.

22. You have fond memories of your time there, the people you met, and the adventures you have. And you hope every military spouse gets the chance to experience something just like that during their time as a military family.

Have you ever been stationed in Germany? When were you there?