Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

9 Reasons Why Being A Military Spouse Is Amazing

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9 Reasons Why Being A Military Spouse Is Amazing

Growing up, I didn’t think a whole lot about if the person I married in the future would be in the Military or not. I was aware of the Military. My Grandparents had served, my Dad was in the Air Force before he met my mom. My mom even taught at a DOD school in Germany. I just never thought that would necessarily be something in my future.

I met my husband who had been in the Army before I had met him. I thought that was his past, not my future. Life is funny and about three years after we were married he re-enlisted and my life as a Military Spouse began.

Over the years, there have been plenty of difficult moments. Some days I wanted to pull my hair out and scream and cry about how hard Military life was. But overall, being a Military Spouse is pretty amazing and this is why:

1. You Meet Amazing People

During your time as a Military spouse, you will meet a lot of different people from all over the place. You will meet someone born and raised in Germany, in Korea, in Hawaii or anywhere else outside of where you grew up and they will become your closest friend. You might meet someone famous, you might meet someone political. There are so many opportunities to meet people when you are a Military spouse.

2. You Can Live in Amazing Places

Germany, Japan, Hawaii, Alaska, Colorado, Belgium, South Korea, Guam and Washington DC are just some of the amazing places you might get to live if you are a Military family. Going OCONUS or even living in a different part of the US can be such a great experience. You get to see parts of the world you never thought you would get to. It’s amazing!

3. You Can Learn a lot About Yourself

Being alone sometimes, having to make new friends more often than others do, having to adjust and be flexible are all a part of Military life. Through these experiences you can learn more about yourself and who you are as a person.

4. You Become More Independent

As a Military spouse, you have to become more independent. You have no choice. You will have to take care of finances, of the children, of the home. You will have to make choices that most couples make together. It feels so overwhelming sometimes but it forces you to become more independent which is a good thing. You can find a sisterhood

5. You Can Find Your Community

There is something about the Military community. Once you join it, you will always be apart of it. You will meet Military spouses in other places and feel like you have something in common. You will have friends all over the country that you can connect with.

One friend will move away and there is always the chance that another friend will move close to you again. Military spouses understand what the Military life is all about and can support each other, both online and offline. You never have to feel alone. You understand sacrifice

6. You Understand Sacrifice

Sacrifice can come in different forms but as a Military spouse, you will feel it. Your service member will miss out on important events like a birth or even a move. You will feel it then.

You will feel it when you say goodbye to them for a deployment and know they will miss your oldest child’s first day of Kindergarten. You will feel it when you can’t take them with you when you go home for Christmas. You will feel it if they come home injured or if they don’t come home at all. There is no way around sacrifice is you are a Military spouse.

7. You Will Grow as a Person Through the Good and the Bad

There is no double that life as a Military wife will change you. No matter what you go through, the good, the bad, the easy, the hard, you will change and grow as a person and that is always a good thing. Life will never stay the same as Military life is always full of changes.

8. You Will Never Look at Memorial Day the Same Way Again

Before Military life, I knew about Memorial Day but it changed a lot when I became an Army wife. I knew people who lost their husbands. I knew that what my husband did was dangerous. I knew what could happen. That changed Memorial Day from a day to honor other people to honoring people I knew. I will never look at that day the way I did before. I can’t. I have seen too much.

9. Your Kids Will Understand What it Means to Serve Your Country

There is no better way for a child to understand what it means to serve their country than to have a parent in the Military. They will grow up with knowing what that really means. There are many different ways someone can serve their country and growing up in the Military can help your children understand what it means to do so. Life isn’t always easy for a Military child but they will learn a lot and that is a good thing.

Why do you think being a Military Spouse is amazing? What would you add to this list???

The Practical Military Spouse Guide to Spring Cleaning Your Life

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The Practical Military Spouse Guide to Spring Cleaning Your Life

Spring is almost here, and with so much going on in our lives, it can feel like we need a practical military spouse guide to spring cleaning in order to focus on the tasks at hand. Whether you’re gearing up for a potential PCS in the coming year or simply aiming to enhance the livability of your current space, now is the perfect time to get things in order.

Here are some fun tips to help you with your spring cleaning:

  • Remove extra PCS stickers, you know you still have some from your last move. Unless you want to make a PCS sticker ornament.
  • Do you really need to keep those curtains? You haven’t used them in the last two houses, and they certainly don’t fit in this one.
  • Go and deliver those bags that have been driving around in your trunk after you did some Marie Kondo in your home a few weeks ago. It’s time for them to go.
  • Pretend you actually are PCSing, what should you get rid of? Would you really want to move with all of your current household goods? Is now the time to replace your old couches?
  • Focus on yourself sometimes. Are you getting enough me time? What can you do to change that? Self-care is important, especially if you are in the midst of solo parenting.
  • Find space for all that military crap. The living room is not an ideal place. Clean out a closet, or buy some extra storage. And quit tripping over those boots.
  • Go through your kid’s toys, get rid of all the broken ones, the Mcdonald’s toys, and anything they don’t care about anymore. The fewer toys they have, the easier it is for them to keep their room clean. Also, this is an ongoing battle that you will have to deal with for years.
  • Delete those emails from your old FRG, you don’t need them anymore. That deployment ended in 2019. If they are still sending them to you? Shoot them an email asking to take you off the list. You have moved on.
  • Do something with all those love letters. Put them in a scrapbook, hang them on a wall, or put them in a frame. They are special and should be celebrated. Unless they are super mushy romantic…then, keep them in your underwear drawer instead.
  • Donate those old ball dresses. You never go anyway. And if you do sometime in the future, you have an excuse to buy another dress.
  • Put up those photos you have been meaning to put up since you moved in six months ago. You know you want to, you have a lot of great ones from your past duty stations. Make time for this and your house will thank you.
  • Dust. I know, dusting sucks. Make your kids do it. Pay them in cookies.
  • Go through your makeup. That stuff doesn’t last forever. And isn’t it nice to buy something new every once in a while? Don’t forget your brushes.
  • Go through your books. Keep the ones you love, and pass on the ones you don’t. Save the deployment ones, you never know when you might need them again. Sigh.
  • Go through your DVDs. Can you find these movies on Netflix? If so, get rid of them. Except for the ones you always have to watch when they are deployed. You never know when Netflix will pull them and you always want to have them on hand.

Life is busy. We all have a lot going on. I hope this military spouse guide to spring cleaning your life can get you started in the right direction.

What do YOU like to do to spring clean your home? Any tips???

The Practical Military Spouse Guide to Spring Cleaning Your Life

PCSing with a Dog or Cat: Will the Military Pay?

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PCSing with a Dog or Cat: Will the Military Pay?

Are you PCSing with a dog or a cat? Will the military pay to move them?

PCSing is a huge part of your life as a military family. Whether you move every 2-3 years, or are able to stay at a duty station a little longer, moving is going to be apart of your life.

We all know that the military will move a military family once they get orders to their new location. However, does that include pets?

You Can Receive Between $550 to $2,000 as a Reimbursement

The answer is…yes, they will reimburse you for the expense of moving your pet. If you are PCSing with a dog or cat, you can receive either $2,000 for an overseas move, or $550 for a move within the lower 48. Remember that Alaska and Hawaii both qualify as overseas locations as far as the military is concerned.

It is important to remember that this is for one dog OR cat. Not both. This is a new benefit that started January 1st of this year, so if you do have more than one pet, you will need to pay out of pocket for them.

If you are ordered to evacuate from a foreign duty station, you are then authorized for transportation and quarantine fees for up to two pets, dogs, and cats.

Why Did This Benefit Get Added?

The Secretary of Defense, Lloyd J. Austin III has been in office since January of 2021. The Secretary of Defense is the principal assistant to the President in all matters relating to the Department of Defense and serves on the National Security Council.

Since Lloyd J. Austin III has taken office, he has worked to strengthen support for Defense Department personnel and their families under his, “TakingCare of Our Service Members and Families” campaign.

Jennifer McPherson-Todd, the Director of the Defense Travel Management Office commented, “DOD recognizes that pets can be a source of stability and security to service members and families who often move. Defraying the cost of PCS moves involving a pet acknowledges the role played by these emotional constants and will improve quality of life for the force.”

Getting ready for a PCS?: PCSing Anytime Soon? These Companies, Organizations, and Resources Can Help

Reimbursement When PCSing with a Dog or Cat

What travel costs are included in the reimbursement when PCSing with a dog or cat?

  • Quarantine fees
  • Mandatory microchipping
  • Boarding fees
  • Hotel service charges
  • Licensing fees at the new duty station
  • Shipping fees if the service member flies, rather than drives

What does a military family need to do to receive the reimbursement?

Make sure your orders are dated for on or after 01/01/2024. This is when this benefit started. Your service member will need to fill out form DD 1351-2. They must submit all receipts for the travel expenses and additional documentation may be required. The documation can differ by branch, for example, this is what the Air Force has put out.

You can also check out Pet Transportation Allowance FAQs and The Joint Travel Regulations.

Happy PCSing!

PCSing with a Dog or Cat: Will the Military Pay?

What Military Spouses Need to Know About Military Discounts

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What Military Spouses Need to Know About Military Discounts

I love finding military discounts. My favorite military discount is the one you can get at Disneyland. I feel like you are able to save so much money! Many different places have military discounts, from home stores to your favorite restaurants.

But…

There are some things that you should know going in where military discounts are concerned. Different businesses offer different types of discounts and knowing what they are is important.

Not all businesses offer them to spouses

One thing you should know is that not all military discounts are for military spouses, but many of them are. This can get a bit confusing. And sometimes this depends on who is giving you the discount on that day.

Usually, they will state that they only give the discount to the service member in the fine print. Typically, free meals on veterans day are only for the veteran. If you present your dependent ID and they let you know that the discount is only for the service member or veteran, be polite with your response.

Not all businesses offer them to the national guard and the reserves

This can get a little frustrating. Not all businesses give a military discount to the national guard or the reserves. However, in my own experience, most of them do. Again, this is where you want to check the fine print.

I would encourage any business giving a military discount to include the national guard and the reserves too. This part of the military often gets overlooked, even though they are also putting on the uniform, deploying, and spending time away from their families. While I understand sometimes they can’t extend the discount to that many people, adding this part of the military would be a nice idea.

You might not be able to use them on everything

In most cases, there is something you won’t be able to use the military discount on. Usually, buying a gift card, or certain products. Make sure to double-check if you are not sure. Sometimes, you can find out this information on their website or where they have the military discount posted.

You might be able to combine the military discount with another promotion

One reason you might not be able to use a discount is if you have a store coupon or if you want to use the discount for something that is on sale or clearance. However, there are some places that will allow you to do so. For example, at Rack Room Shoes, they offer a 10% military discount that you can use with BOGO 50% off deals, sales prices, other coupons, and promotional offers.

You should check your options when you do have to decide to see what can get you a better deal. While 10% can be nice, a business might have a coupon that is for 20% off that would be a better deal. With the Southwest Airlines Military Rate, you can often find a better deal with their Wanna Get Away specials available to everyone.

Not all locations have the same discount

Another thing about military discounts to keep in mind is that different locations for the exact same business might offer something different. For example, here in the Fort Campbell area, Cracker Barrel does offer a military discount but it isn’t that way everywhere. When I lived in Lexington, they offered one at their Chick-Fil-A but the ones here in Clarksville don’t.

In some cases, it is hard to get a clear answer on what their discount is because they often are up to the management of that specific location. Asking is your best bet because they know what they are going to do at your local location.

Sometimes the military discount isn’t advertised

While some businesses display that “10% off for service members” sign, others do not. Some places don’t even talk about the discount on their websites.

When in doubt, ask. That might be the only way to find out. And remember, just because the military discount isn’t listed, it doesn’t mean they don’t have one.

What Military Spouses Need to Know About Military Discounts

Where is your favorite place to get a military discount?

12 Things to Do On Valentine’s Day if Your Military Service Member is Far Away

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12 Things to Do On Valentine's Day if Your Military Service Member is Far Away

Is it really time for Valentine’s Day again? Time is moving that’s for sure. Before we know it summer will be here and we will be getting ready for another fall season.

Valentine’s Day is always an interesting holiday. The day is all about love, spending time together, and remembering why you love one another.

For military spouses, this might be a little bit more complicated. Your service member might be deployed or otherwise not living in your home at the moment. You might want to skip the day altogether but your kids wouldn’t be too happy about that. You may be left asking yourself if you should even celebrate and if you should, what can you do?

Here are 12 things to do this Valentine’s Day if your service member is far away:

1) Buy yourself some chocolate

Go, do it. Buy yourself some chocolate. You can pick out your favorite kind. And no, you don’t have to share it with anyone.

2) Celebrate with friends

Plan something fun with your friends. Have dinner, go see a movie, or even set up a fun Zoom party. Celebrate the love that comes with friendships.

3) Buy yourself flowers

Buy a new plant. Buy your own flowers. Buy something special that brings you joy.

4) Order a yummy meal

Put the kids to bed early. Order something yummy for yourself, put on your favorite movie, and enjoy the night for what it is. A night to treat yourself.

5) Make a playlist for your spouse just for the holiday

Think back to when couples would make themselves mixed tapes. It’s just the modern version. Put your favorites or songs that remind you of your relationship. It can be a trip down memory lane.

6) Have a video chat Valentine’s Day date

If you can make this work, plan a video date with your sweetheart. You might not be in the same room but that way you can spend Valentine’s Day together.

7) Give your kids Valentine’s Day

If your spouse can’t be around, focus on giving Valentine’s to your kids. They will love them and you can have a fun time celebrating Valentine’s Day with them.

8) Have a Valentine’s Day baking day

Plan a Valentine’s Day baking day. You can do this solo, with your kids, or with friends. Make heart-shaped cookies, bake a pink and white cake, or create a new Valentine’s Day treat.

9) Nothing

This is also an option. Don’t do anything. You don’t have to. And if that is what is more comfortable for you, why not? You don’t have to celebrate any holiday you really don’t want to celebrate.

10) Phone a friend or family member

Why not take the day to catch up with someone you haven’t talked to for a while. I am talking about the good old-fashioned phone call. This can be a good friend, your mom, your grandma, or anyone else you feel like calling.

11) Read a good romance

Curl up with some hot chocolate and dive into a romance novel. Escape into another world. And if romance is not your thing, how about a fantasy? Or any other type of book you can get lost in.

12) Watch a good rom-com

Find a fun rom-com to get lost in. It can be something from the 90s that you love or something new that just came out on Netflix. There are so many options. Don’t forget the popcorn!

How will you spend this Valentine’s Day???

The Truth About Valentine’s Day When You Are a Military Spouse

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The Truth About Valentine's Day When You Are a Military Spouse

Flowers, chocolate, candy hearts, and expectations. It sounds like another Valentine’s Day is around the corner, but when you are a military spouse, this holiday probably isn’t going to be as exciting as it could be…


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For one thing, your spouse might be gone. They might be deployed, across the ocean. So you are not even going to see your spouse on the 14th. And that being the case, ignoring the whole thing is pretty easy to do. You tell yourself it is just a made-up holiday anyway, who cares.


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But then, you are walking through Target and you see the chocolate, and you think, wouldn’t it be nice to get some chocolate this year? If nothing else, just some chocolate? Because if you are going to be alone for Valentine’s Day, you might as well have chocolate, right?


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So you buy yourself a box and decide that no matter what, you are going to have a good February 14th, you are going to have a good Valentine’s Day. Once you get home you remember you were going to send a Valentine’s Day care package to your husband, only it is already February 10th so it is going to be a little late. And you wonder if he will even care really. Sure, he loves to get a package from you but does it need to be a Valentine’s Day care package?


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Ya, you think, maybe I will just wait until after Valentine’s Day, buy him some 50% off chocolate and send that instead. But then, I have my kids to think about. And the fact that they need Valentines for their classes, guess you are going back to Target to pick some out. In a perfect world, you would get on Pinterest, pick out a cute idea and get to work but Marvel, Barbie, and those addictive candy hearts are going to have to sponsor Valentine’s Day this year.


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And then it is Valentine’s Day, and since your spouse is off making our nation a better place, you have to decide how you are going to spend the day. The kids are armed with Valentines for their classmates, you also got them a couple of things because in the end, Valentine’s Day is about love and you do love your children. You decide to get one of those heart pizzas for dinner because your kids will get a kick out of it and hey, it’s pizza.


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So you finish dinner, the kids loved the heart-shaped pizza and hey, you didn’t have to cook so that was a win. After the kids go to bed you dig into your chocolate hoping that your husband will get online and at least wish you a happy Valentine’s Day. So you put on a cheezy romance of some kind and wait with your chocolate, you know the chocolate you bought to have on this day.


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And as you wait you just tell yourself that next year he will be home and you will go big. You will get a babysitter and hit the town. It’s just this year that kinda sucks. But then you remember last year when he was home, and you pretty much did the same thing as you are doing this year because you have kids and you are on a budget and really, Valentine’s Day isn’t such a big deal anyway.


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And right before you go to bed, he gets online and you say your “Happy Valentine’s Day” to each other. You smile because you are happy to be married to this guy and no that no matter how many Valentine’s Days he has to miss, you will always love him. And you know that there will always be plenty of chocolate to get through anything you two have to endure during his military career.


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When There is a Natural Disaster and Your Spouse is Deployed

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What To Do When There is a Natural Disaster and Your Spouse is Deployed

I have been through my share of earthquakes growing up in California. Fortunately, I was never in any danger from any of them.

After moving to the south, I have been through my fair share of tornado warnings, and they have been pretty scary sometimes.

The biggest issue we have dealt with when it came to weather when my husband was deployed was losing power during a storm, for about 37 hours. While we didn’t have any real damage, and USAA replaced all our food, it was a struggle not knowing when the power would come back on, and being on my own with three little kids during the power outage.

Hurricanes, fires, tornadoes, tsunamis, volcanoes, earthquakes, and even massive snowstorms can cause us to panic a little bit, or even more than a bit. We want to feel safe in our homes, but mother nature doesn’t allow us to always feel that way. Mother nature also doesn’t care if our spouse is deployed or not.

Dealing with a natural disaster with a deployed spouse is a bit terrifying, even for the most independent military spouse. You want them right by your side during this time, but they can’t be.

So what can you do when there is a natural disaster and your spouse is deployed?

Don’t panic

What you want to try not to do, is overly panic. I know it can be difficult, natural disasters are scary, especially if you have never been through that type of disaster before. You want to try to stay calm so you can figure out how to prepare yourself and your family.  You want to be able to think with a clear head.

Take warnings seriously

Blowing off a weather warning can sometimes be easy to do. There can be a lot of worry over a storm, and nothing comes of it. However, this isn’t always the case. It is better to be overly prepared than not prepared enough. Take any warnings about your area seriously.

Decide what you are going to do

If you live in an area that can get hurricanes, make sure you talk over with your spouse what you will do if one comes while they are away. What is your game plan? Do you have family or friends you can stay with?

In the case of tornados, make sure you know where your family is supposed to go once the alarms sound. Talk this over with your children, so they are aware of what to do. Practice earthquake drills, and be prepared for whatever type of natural disaster might hit your area.

Emergency kits

Put together your emergency kit, just in case. You might not need it, but it is a good idea to have. Check out Disaster Prep: 8 Things to Have on Hand for an idea of what you need in your kit. Do your research so you have the supplies you need.

Band together

Band together with your neighbors and military spouse friends. If you have a close friend, you might want to hang out together until the storm has passed. See how you can help one another out. You can do things like trade childcare as you each take turns going to the store to prepare your home for the upcoming storm or just be there for one another.

What To Do When There is a Natural Disaster and Your Spouse is Deployed

Follow the news

This is the time to watch the news during a deployment. Follow what is going on, you don’t want to be caught unaware. In our area, under a tornado warning, the news will show when the threat is supposed to hit your area by the minute. Make sure your weather radio always has working batteries and that you always have a way of being notified of a warning even if you are sleeping.

Here are some website and resources about natural disasters to help you:

10 Ways for Military Families to Prep Before Hurricane Florence

Disaster Preparedness 101

Military Family Preparedness

Creating a Family Emergency Plan

How military families should prepare for natural disasters

Steps to Take After a Flood, Fire or Other Natural Disaster

Hurricane Evacuations, Military Entitlements, and Insurance Coverage

Tips To Make Your Home Earthquake Ready

Red Cross- Find An Open Shelter

Sesame Street- Support After An Emergency

Prepare for Wildfire

Tornado Safety Tips

Tornado Warning: 7 Ways to Prepare Yourself

Another Hurricane Is on the Way: Is Your Military Family Prepared?

The MilSpouse’s Guide to Catastrophic Weather

Prepare for a Tsunami

Pets and Animals

Please stay safe if you are in harm’s way. Pay attention, and know you can get through this, as hard as it might seem.
 
 

Deployments Never Truly Go Away

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A Military spouse is never going to forget how hard it was to let their spouse go, how lonely the nights were, or, how happy they were when they finally came home.

Deployments Never Truly Go Away

It’s been years since the first time my husband deployed, over a decade ago. But that deployment changed my life forever, as it changed the lives of so many of my military spouse friends.

That deployment changed my husband and all of the men he served with. That deployment still comes up in my mind, and I always think about those who lost so much during those 15 months.

Recently I saw this article going around Facebook again, as it often does every once in a while, Europe’s deadliest deployment. I always re-read the article when I see it, and reading those words brings me right back to that deployment. That place. And those feelings.

Our men were gone for so long, many didn’t see their spouse for over a year, and my husband and I went 11 months between R&R and homecoming.

So many men were lost, so many didn’t come home, and not everyone who made it home was the same.

Us military spouses, being in a very small military community, had to cling to one another. I have never experienced anything quite like that since and I am thankful I had that type of experience during that 15-month deployment.

We somehow made it through that deployment, all 15 months of it, but that deployment changed us forever. That deployment shaped me into who I am today, more than any other deployment.

That deployment shaped me into who I became as a parent, realizing what was important and what I needed to let go. That deployment shaped me as a wife and gave me the strength to get through whatever came our way in the future.

Sometimes I wonder how I went so long without seeing my husband. In the deployments since we have never had to be apart for that long. And these days, even a few weeks seems so challenging.

When you are apart like that, you are living different lives. You have to. I had to be there for my boys, making parenting decisions, and doing what was right for our home. He had to be aware of what his mission was, and focus on what he had to do for his job, and how to stay safe.

We both dealt with loss.

Me, for friends who lost their husbands, and for the grief our community endured when we heard news of another death. You could see it on everyone’s faces as you walked around the Army post. We were all feeling the weight of the deployment, in so many different ways.

For my husband, who lost friends, ones who had just as much desire to return home to their spouses and children as he did. There is still so much pain there. A pain I will truly never understand.

And now, all these years later we will hear of someone else who has lost their life to suicide, and we grieve again, for the ripples of that deployment or deployments after that are still affecting people to this day.

Deployments are a bit different now. Deployments are shorter, and for that I am thankful. Communication is much easier, and that helps. However, deployments are still not easy and the military and military spouses need as much support as they can get.

Support not only during deployments, although that is important, but support after because that is an emotional ride for everyone.

When I think back to those 15 months, I realize that we just had to keep going, day by day. We couldn’t give up, even if we thought we wouldn’t make it through. And there were plenty of times we felt that way.

We had no choice but to get through the days apart and pray that our soldiers would come back to us.

You never forget your deployments. They stay with you forever. The smallest of things can remind you of what you went through. The smallest of things can take you right back.

Our military will probably always go to war in some form. And there will always be military families, spouses, and children who are going through the deployment back at home. And those of us that go through them will always remember these deployments and how we changed because of them.

We can learn more about ourselves from the time apart, and work to make life a little easier the next time our spouse has to go. We can support others going through a deployment, and let them know that they can get through them too.

This post does contain affiliate links!

Here are a few military spouse resources that can help you through deployments, post-deployment, or military life in general:

Military One Source

Operation We Are Here

Sacred Spaces: My Journey to the Heart of Military Marriage by Corie Weathers

15 Years of War: How the Longest War in U.S. History Affected a Military Family in Love, Loss, and the Cost Of Service by Kristine Schellhaas

Right Side Up: Find Your Way When Military Life Turns You Upside Down by Judy Davis

Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Deployment Posts

Is there one deployment that sticks with you above any others? How do you work through everything?