Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

Chasing Your Own Dreams in the New Year

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Chasing Your Own Dreams in the New Year

Chasing Your Dreams

“New Year, New Me!” is a common phrase we hear this time of year. As the old year ends and a new one begins, we all start to think about how we can better our lives. What can we change about ourselves? What goals can we focus on? How can we chase our dreams?

As military spouses, we might not know what the new year will bring. Will our spouse deploy again? When will the deployment they are currently on end? Will we PCS? And to where? There are so many unknowns it can be hard to know what to focus on.

As a military spouse, being able to chase your own dreams is important. You want to be able to focus on yourself instead of just your spouse’s career. Your career and dreams matter just as much.

As we go into a new year, start thinking about what you want your life to look like. You might not know if you will be living in Japan or Georgia, but you can work on yourself, and your own dreams as much as possible.

Here are a few ideas:

Do you want to go to school?

Maybe you already have your college degree but want to go back for something else. Maybe you never got your degree and feel like now is the time. There are many options for military spouses to go back to school. You can go 100% online, and get that degree from your own home, no matter where that might be. You can attend classes at a local college, or even on post. Here at Fort Campbell, you can attend some classes at their Education Center. This makes it easier for some military spouses to be able to focus on their education.

Do you want to start a business?

Starting a new business can be a smart move for those interested in this type of work. A business is something you can possibly take with you from duty station to duty station. There are so many options for online businesses these days. If you have a good business idea, maybe the new year is the time to start. Figure out what you want to do, plan, and go for it.

Do you want to write a book?

Books are truly the best things in life! Why not write your own? Do you have a book idea swimming in your head? Maybe the new year is the time to get it written. Whether it is a nonfiction book about your experiences as a military spouse or a fun romance you have been thinking about for a while. The sky is the limit!

Do you want to find a new job?

Maybe you are ready for a job change. Perhaps you have been at home for a while and want to return to the workforce. Whatever the reason, looking for a new job can be pretty daunting. There are a lot of steps to finding the right job. Luckily, there are many job search resources available to military spouses.

Planning your new year

As a new year approaches, try to think about all the goals you want to accomplish, from personal to professional, to goals for your family. Make a list. Make notes about how you will achieve them. Create a vision board. Figure out how to get to where you want to be.

Whatever your goals are for the new year, get yourself organized and figure out the best way to accomplish them. Working on your own goals, even if a deployment is in your future, will help you stay active and busy no matter what life brings. Good luck and Happy New Year!

There is Something So Beautiful About a Holiday Homecoming.

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There is Something So Beautiful About a Holiday Homecoming.

The morning was cold but being that it was December in Tennessee, not a big surprise. When we arrived at the hanger, I knew this would be different than our last deployment, which ended on a hot day in July. Our deployment was over and I only had to wait a few more hours until my husband would be in my arms again.

This 4th deployment had been one of the hardest. I was so glad that the deployment was going to end. What made things even better was that my husband was coming home about a week before Christmas. That felt so magical.

That year, we had the best Christmas ever. That year we didn’t have to miss him. We didn’t have to worry anymore.

We weren’t lonely and we were together. We didn’t have to experience the deployment ache over Christmas and we fully enjoyed the holidays together again. Although in the back of our minds we couldn’t help but remember Christmas spent apart, and how difficult that was.

There is something so beautiful about a holiday homecoming.

Knowing that the deployment will end and that you will be celebrating the holidays together instead of apart.

Knowing that you won’t have to wake up Christmas morning or start Hanukkah alone.

Knowing that they will be there to wish you Happy New Year.

There is something so very beautiful about all of that…

There is nothing quite like a holiday homecoming. To be together again during the time of year you want to be with your family the most. To know that you finished a deployment and the strength that it brings you.

As I stood out watching the runaway on that December day, I remember being so cold. But that didn’t matter. The best part was watching that plane land, watching my husband walk down the steps, and knowing he would be in my arms again soon.

I knew I still had so many things to do to prepare for Christmas. Time doesn’t stop just because your spouse is coming home from a deployment. But knowing that I would no longer be waiting for him while wrapping presents and getting all the last-minute holiday things done felt refreshing.

There is something so beautiful about a holiday homecoming.

If you are lucky enough to be getting ready for one, know that you will be in for a treat. All homecomings are amazing, but having one so close to the holidays will allow this homecoming to have a special place in your heart. One you will associate with holiday cheer and the wonder of the season.

Whether there is snow on the ground in upstate New York or the sun on your back in Hawaii, there is nothing quite like a holiday homecoming. Having your spouse return just in time for the magic will put a smile on your face. Having your spouse home for the festivities is a wonderful thing.

Have you ever had a holiday homecoming?

For the Military Spouse Who Can’t Go Home For Christmas

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For the Military Spouse Who Can't Go Home For Christmas

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

When we first got married we decided that we would switch off each holiday. One year we would spend Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his. Then the next year we would switch.

This worked well for three years. Then we moved and my husband joined the Army and that schedule went out the window. Among other things that changed when we became a military family.

As a military spouse, you sometimes have to let go of what you thought your life would look like. And that includes how you spend your holidays. One year your spouse might be deployed, and the next you could be PCSing from one part of the country to another. Your plans have to be flexible.

This year, however, we don’t have to feel as alone. This year, during a pandemic, everyone is being told to stay put. Everyone is being told to not travel during the holidays. We aren’t the only ones having to change the way we do things during this time of year.

A little bit of the pressure you might normally feel has been lifted, at least for 2020. Maybe you were dreading the long drive back home, or maybe the cost of airline tickets was hurting your pocketbook.

There are many reasons why going home for Christmas can be hard for military families. But at least this year, staying in your own home is more normal. At least this year, it is a lot more understandable to the civilian world why you would not be traveling around the holidays.

During a normal year, you still might feel like you just want to stay in your own home. Your spouse may be deployed, and the idea of traveling across the country with three kids is just too much. You might have just moved into a new home, and want to set up there instead of leaving everything to spend the holidays in someone else’s home.

Not being able to go home for Christmas can be emotional, no matter the reason. And this year, even more so. But even if that is what you have planned to do, you can still feel a bit disappointed by it.

You might miss the way you always got together with relatives for Christmas Eve. You might miss the last-minute holiday shopping you would do with your sister, or how you would bake Christmas cookies with your grandma and cousins.

If you can’t go home for Christmas this year, know you are not alone. So many families are staying local, and not traveling. So many families are having to pivot and change the way they do the holidays.

The good news is, there are so many things you can do from your very own home. Start some new traditions and enjoy the time you have together. Make the holidays the way you want them to be, after all, you are in your own home, and you can do exactly that.

Are you overseas? Try to incorporate some of the traditions from the country you are in. You can then take them back with you when you move back to the US.

Embrace not having to travel during the busiest travel days of the year. Think about how your children will have memories of waking up in their own beds on Christmas morning. We have been doing this for years, and I LOVE that my kids will have memories of waking up in their own homes and coming downstairs to see the Christmas magic.

You can’t always go home for Christmas and that is okay. You can still have a special Christmas filled with happy memories and moments with your own family. And you might find that being in your own home is exactly where you want to be for the holiday season.

Do you usually go home for Christmas? What will you be doing this year?

You Know You Are a Military Spouse When…

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You Know You Are a Military Spouse When…

Military spouse life is a unique experience. Whether you are stationed overseas in places like Japan or Germany, stationed in the US, or as a spouse of a National Guard or Reserves member.

The military life is one filled with highs and lows, twists and turns, unexpected blessings and unfortunate disappointments.

The the truth is, as a military community we can relate to many shared experiences. Here are a few of them:

You know you are a military spouse when…

You know your spouse’s social more than your own. You hardly have to use yours.

You cringe when your spouse comes home with “news”. Is it good news or bad news or what? Just tell me!

You know you have to avoid the Commissary on paydays and yet you find yourself there anyway. Whatcha gonna do?

You have friends in Bahrain, Japan, Germany, and England. And think it would be lovely if you could visit all of them but it might never happen because you are stuck in Kentucky.

You have a radar for all things “free childcare”.

You never want to write your dates in pen because they always seem to change, especially when it comes to leave dates.

You love that there is an amazing Walt Disney World discount but you just pray leave dates don’t change so you can make the trip.

You get tired of people asking if you will be coming home for Christmas because you don’t even know where you will be stationed in December and if that would mean a three-hour car ride or $4000 in plane tickets.

You have three children and they were all born in different continents.

You dream of going to Europe but the military sent you to New York instead.

Tricare is your friend and worst enemy.

Your living room looks like camo threw up all over it when your spouse is getting ready for deployment or other trainings.

You know the care package deal like the back of your hand, and can juggle a package, a toddler, and a baby, while in line at the post office.

You have your drill weekend traditions down to a science. So much so, that when drill weekend dates change, you aren’t sure if you are happy he will be home or a little disappointed your plans will have to wait.

You move so often, you have a specific list of tasks you know you have to do, and you get started on it immediately.

A business asks you for your zip code and you have to think a minute about which one to give them.

You accidentally give the gate guard your gym membership card and have to laugh at the silly joke they make to you about it.

You spend many of your holidays with friends because traveling home with three kids is a lot when your spouse is deployed.

You know you belong to a community of other spouses that overall are willing to support you and help you on your military life journey.

7 Ways to Enjoy the Holidays Even if Your Spouse is Deployed This Year

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7 Ways to Enjoy the Holidays Even if Your Spouse is Deployed This Year

If your spouse is going to be deployed during the holidays, it can feel like you have been punched in the gut. They will miss out on so much. Putting up the tree, figuring out the gifts, and taking trips to see Santa. When they are deployed, they have to miss all of that.

And you worry. You worry about their safety, but also wonder how they will enjoy the holiday. Will they be able to feel loved? Will your care package make a difference?

It is hard for everyone, but like anything else, time doesn’t stop, and you still need to figure out how you will celebrate the holidays while they are deployed.

Sure, you can ignore some of that stuff, make it simple, save the rest for later. But you can also still enjoy the holidays even if your spouse is gone. Here are 7 ideas!

1) Plan to get together with friends!

It might seem obvious, but as a military spouse, your friends are going to be able to fill in some gaps here. Plan to get together.

Have a gift exchange, get together and make cookies, and if you are all going to be in town for the holidays, spend the actual day together. It will make it so much better!

2) Go somewhere

If you can, go visit family. Can’t do that? Plan a vacation.

This will look different for everyone, depending on whether you have kids or not, what your budget is, and even how much you like to travel. But going somewhere else during the holidays can build you up, allow you to make some amazing memories, and get you out of your comfort zone.

3) Put the kid in charge

Why not let them lead your celebrations? What do they want to do? What sounds fun? If you have kids, involve them in the decorating and in how you will celebrate. You don’t have to run the whole show.

4) Volunteer

There are a lot of local organizations that need extra help during the holidays. From warming shelters to Toys for Tots. See what is out there in your community, and start signing up for things. Some are even kid-friendly.

5) Trying different traditions

With the holidays being different this year, consider trying new traditions. You might be overseas for the holidays and can embrace some of your host country’s traditions. Create new and different memories and traditions that you can share with your spouse once they return.

6) Make plans for after

They can’t be here for the holidays, but they are coming home in March? Make plans for after they return. Plan something special and something to look forward to.

It doesn’t even have to be holiday-related, but it will help you focus on that instead of the fact that they are missing Christmas or other holidays. Having fun things to look forward to can help brighten everyone’s mood.

7) It won’t always be this way

Remember that each year will be different. They won’t always miss Christmas. They won’t always be so far away. And you never know what the next year might bring.

7 Ways to Enjoy the Holidays Even if Your Spouse is Deployed This Year

The Amazing Vera Bradley Military Discount You Can Use at the Outlet

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The Amazing Vera Bradley Military Discount You Can Use at the Outlet

I love a new blanket. They make me so happy! And one of my favorite places to get them is Vera Bradley.

I also love to buy purses, wallets, and whatever else I fall in love with when I go to that store. And the best part? Vera Bradley had a military discount! And, you can use it at the Vera Bradley outlet, too.

Talk about saving money! And we all need more than these days.

Vera Bradley History

Back in 1982, two friends, Patricia R. Miller and Barbara Bradley, were on vacation when they realized there was a lack of colorful, distinctive luggage in the world. They were then able to turn just $500 into a fantastic business that has spanned decades and filled a market gap.

They named the company Vera Bradley after Barbara’s mother. The first bags they made sold well, and they ran the business out of Barbara’s basement. Her teenage daughter created their first logo.

The company has grown and grown over the years, and now has 130 stores.

What is the Vera Bradley Military Discount?

Military, as well as teachers, students, first responders, and medical professionals, receive 10% off as a Vera Bradley military discount. You can use it in the regular and outlet stores, as well as online. Show your military ID or be verified with ID.me.

Some stores will allow you to use the military discount with their sales. Just ask! Over the years, I have been able to do so every time I have gone to Vera Bradley.

You might also see that they carry Vera Bradley at the Exchange. While the price might be a little discounted, if you can find a Vera Bradley Outlet, that is where you will find the best deals. If you are stationed at Fort Campbell, you can find one at the Opry Mills Mall in Nashville.

Please visit their website for more information!

Looking for more military discounts? There are so many! Please visit my The Military Spouse’s Directory Of Military Discounts!

The Amazing Vera Bradley Military Discount You Can Use at the Outlet

5 Important Things to Celebrate During a Deployment

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Another deployment day has arrived. Big deal, right? Each day drags into the next. One after the other.

It can be easy to get stuck in a deployment. To focus on how much time you have left, and what you are missing. But celebrating the small wins can go a long way toward helping you through that time apart. Here are a few things you can celebrate during your spouse’s next deployment.

1) First month down

Let’s face it, the first and last months of a deployment are the hardest. That first month especially. You might find yourself walking around the house, missing every part of your spouse. It can be draining.

But once you hit that one-month mark, something happens. You can see you are one month down. Even with so many more to go, that’s an accomplishment.

2) Personal wins

Deployments are a great time to work on your own personal goals. So celebrate when you complete one of them, no matter what it is. Maybe you wanted to start exercising, and now you are in a great routine of it. Maybe you wanted to go back to school, and you just signed up. Maybe you wanted to read 50 books this year, and you just finished that goal. Whatever it is, celebrate!

3) First time doing something alone, you usually don’t do

I am sure there are things you are used to doing with your spouse that you now have to do alone. Maybe it is grocery shopping, maybe it is driving back to your hometown. That first time might be a little scary, but celebrate it when you do it. No matter what it is.

Deployments will force you out of your comfort zone. You will have to do things you don’t usually have to do. Celebrate when you do.

4) When you find your people

Finding people to do deployments with is so important. But sometimes, that takes some time. But once you do, there will be a moment when you realize you have found your people.

You might be sitting at a coffee shop, you might be at a park watching your kids play, and then it will hit you, “these are my people,” and what a special feeling that is.

5) The halfway mark

Knowing when you have reached the exact middle of deployment might be impossible, since dates keep changing. Once we thought they would be home in June, and they got home in November instead. But you will probably hit a point where you know you have already hit the top of that deployment mountain.

When you know that you have gone through more days than you have left, and you can celebrate that. It’s a significant deployment milestone. Have a get-together with your friends, organize a potluck, and celebrate how far you have all come.

It might feel like there is nothing to celebrate about a deployment, but there is if you look for it.

celebrating the small wins can go a long way toward helping you through that time apart.

Twas the Night Before Christmas For the Military Spouse

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Twas the Night Before Christmas For the Military Spouse

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, no one was stirring, except one military spouse.

She knew what tonight was but wasn’t feeling the cheer; her husband of 12 years was simply not here.

He was serving his country on deployment #4; she simply couldn’t wait until April, when he would walk through the door.

Her kids were in bed, excited for the morning; they didn’t want to go despite her stern warning.

She looked at a picture taken last year when he was home beside her, and she didn’t have much to fear.

But this year was different, and he was far away, but she still wanted to try to have a wonderful Christmas day.

She put on some music, and finished her last chore, she loved her sweet family, down to the core.

Christmas was special and a time to love, and she would get through this deployment, with help from above.

Her husband was deployed, and that made her sad, but thinking of her children Christmas morning made her heart very glad.

She turned out the light and headed to bed, loving the lights of the tree, both green and red.

As hard as it was, she found her inner strength; she could handle this deployment, no matter the length.

Solo parenting was hard, and she hated missing him, but she knew in the end, it wasn’t so grim.

She had her friends and her children by her side and would take this deployment day by day, even if she sometimes cried.

Because one day in April, would be homecoming day, and she would load up her children in her van, not a sleigh.

And they would head to the gym, where they would need to wait, with the other spouses and children on this very important date.

As a military spouse, we can spend Christmas alone, but we do what we can to warm up our home.

She would spot him right away, standing in the crowd, and when it was time they would run to him proud.

So if you are a military spouse, with your love far away, I want you to know you will get through Christmas Day.

It might not be exactly like before, but Christmas has magic you just can’t ignore.

Merry Christmas to all and know that it’s true, you got this military spouse, you absolutely do.