Military Life

7 Tips to Enjoy Your First FRG Meeting

March 7, 2019 by Julie 3 Comments

Yes, FRG meetings. Some people love them, some people hate them. But either way, FRG meetings are such a good thing to have, even if they have issues being implemented. Even if certain FRGs are not working as well as they could be.

FRG stands for “Family Readiness Group” and you can find them in the Army, the Army Reserves, and the Army National Guard. The Navy also calls them the FRG. The Air Force has their Key Spouse Program, the Marine Corps has their Family Readiness Program, and the Coast Guard has their Work-Life Program which all try to accomplish the same thing.

The FRG is there to inform spouses as well as help support them, especially during deployments.

I have been a part of a few different FRG groups, and each one was a little different. My FRGs in Germany felt more like a real community of spouses, working together to get through our deployments or other struggles. In the states, things felt a little different but underneath it all, there was still support in these groups.

I do believe that going to at least one FRG meeting at your new duty station, is a good thing to do. If nothing else, to see how things are going to go. Maybe the FRG meeting won’t be as bad as you think it will be. Maybe there won’t be a lot of drama. Maybe there will be support there that you are yearning for.

As you figure out when and where the FRG meets, and get ready for your first FRG meeting, here are some tips to keep in mind:

Other people are going to be just as nervous as you are

If you are an intrvert, or even if you are not, you might be a bit nervous about going to your first FRG meeting. This is normal. Most people are going to be nervous doing this.

There will be new people to meet, there will be new information to learn, and that can feel so intimidating. Just remember, other people are feeling the same way, and might just be looking for a friendly face, just like you are.

The FRG is supported by volunteers

One thing to keep in mind is that the FRG is going to be supported by volunteers. People who have taken time out of their schedules to help, in many different ways. Giving them a little bit of grace is important.

In some cases, a spouse was “voluntold” to become a leader or take on another position. They might feel like they had to say yes, and might not have wanted to take on the position in the first place. This can make things tricky, and can be an big issue in the military spouse world.

You could become one of them

You could volunteer too. You don’t have to step up to be the FRG leader. There are many other ways to do so.

The FRG includes positions such as Liasion, Assistant Leader, Secretary, Treasurer, Newsletter Ediotr, Activties Chairperson, Fundraiser Chairperson, and Advisor. You can also offer to help in smaller ways such as sending birthday cards to the single service members in the unit, or making food on a regular basis for events.

When you get to your first FRG meeting, they might let you know what positions are available or tell you how you can help. If not, you can always ask where you might be needed. Volunteering through your FRG can be a great way to get to know people a little better and become a part of something that can help a lot of military spouses.

Drama doesn’t have to rule everything

One of the biggest complaints about FRGs is the drama. And I am not going to lie, there can be some serious drama. And that drama can get nasty. But it doesn’t have to be that way forevery FRG group.

You can go into your meetings knowing you don’t want to be a part of that. Treating people with respect and responding to situations in a mature manner can go such a long way in controlling the drama. Don’t let the fear of drama keep you away from FRGs alltoegther.

Grace for other people goes a long way

The FRG is made up on humans, and humans can make mistakes sometimes. Your leader might feel at bit overwhelmed at times, or there could be positions that just haven’t been filled yet. When you go to attend your first FRG meeting, seeing the potential instead of just bashing what is, can be important.

Grace for others can go a long way, and can change things for the better. Try to do what you can to be kind to others within the FRG and work towards postive changes. FRGs can be really amazing places if everyone is working together to make them so.

Support is always important

The support military spouses can receive through the FRG is so important, especially during deployments. These spouses are the ones who understand what you are going through because they are going the same thing you are. Most likely, your spouses will be leaving together, will be deployed together, and coming home together.

While you are probably not going to hit it off with everyone in your FRG, your FRG can be a good place to find some understanding friends. This might not happen right away, but the potential is always there. So please remember that as you attend your first FRG meeting.

The FRG won’t fix all of your problems

In the end, the FRG won’t solve all of your problems. The FRG isn’t set up for that. The FRG can’t make your spouse come home any sooner, the FRG can’t raise your children for you, and it can’t take away all of your struggles.

The FRG can help with your lonliness, can help you stay busy, and can give you tools to make it through your deployment, or anything else military life might throw at you.

Have you ever had a good FRG experience? What do you think the key to that was?

Living in the PNW: A Post About Being Stationed at JBLM

January 15, 2019 by Julie 1 Comment

So happy to have this guest post on being stationed at Joint Base Lewis-McChord (JBLM) by Selene!

Please let me know if you would like to write your own guest post about where you have been stationed during military life!

Living in the PNW: A Post About Being Stationed at JBLM

Fort Lewis is one of the largest military installations in the U.S. With two posts for Army servicemembers you get Main Post and North Fort, and for the Airmen, they have McChord Air Force Base.

Main Post has your commissary, PX, Burger King, and few other eateries, along with the MWR, the bowling alley, theater, and a splash pad for the kiddos. Rumor has it the Wahlbergs are opening their famous Wahlburgers restaurant on Fort Lewis come 2020!

North Fort is woodsy, quieter and not as crowded. That is where you can find a beach where you can fish and hang out. You can also rent cabins and boats on North Fort.

Housing on Main Post is like most others- the further up the chain you go the nicer they are. North Fort is where you can find the upgraded houses, unfortunately you won’t find yourself living there unless your servicemember is an E-5 or above.

If you cross Freedom Bridge you will find yourself entering McChord Air Force Base, and let me tell you, the grass is definitely greener on the other side! The BX is slightly larger than the PX on Fort Lewis. There’s an indoor jungle gym for the kids with your basic food court. Bonus, you can utilize the CDC, housing, and Dr.’s on both posts! The commissary on McChord is amazing! So open and not as crowded as the one on Fort Lewis. My favorite thing about McChord are the retired Air Force planes they have on display. You can park your car, walk around and read about some of the planes history.

A few popular towns surrounding base are Lacey, Olympia, Dupont, Puyallup, Tacoma, and Yelm. Dupont is made up of mainly military families. It’s directly outside of post and is quite expensive. Lacey and Olympia are south of base, a lot of families choose to live there because it’s quieter and they claim the commute south is faster than traveling north of base. Yelm is out in the backwoods. If you like feeling like you’re in the woods then that’s your place! Puyallup is further from base so not as many military families. It’s a decent city and moderately priced, but the commute is further from everything! Lakewood is 15 minutes north of base (on a good day) and is centrally located.

Lakewood and Tacoma are what I like to think of as the Hot Spots. Newly married couples often choose these cities because they’re close enough to base but still close enough to all the fun. 6^th street in downtown Tacoma is where the nightlife lives. A local burger spot that we absolutely loved is SHAKE!SHAKE!SHAKE!

If you find yourself in the Stadium District of Tacoma try and stop there. They’re home to my husband’s favorite red licorice shake. Stadium district is also home to Stadium High School. Have you seen 10 Things I Hate About You? Remember the Massive castle like high school with the football field overlooking the water, the one where Heath Ledger serenades Julia Stiles? Well, that’s where it was filmed! And if you’re up for watching a football game there bring your walking shoes because those stairs are steep!

If you’re thinking of adding to your family while stationed in Washington I cannot recommend the hospitals surrounding base enough! They are incredible! We welcomed our first born at a hospital in Tacoma, and no hospital has lived up to the standards they set there.

I-5 can take you anywhere you need to get, whether it’s Portland, Seattle, or even Canada, with that being said; traffic can be a nightmare between 3-6pm. Learn the backroads and learn them well, because you will need them to navigate you during those hours.

There are so many parks and places to explore! Chambers Bay Park is a favorite place of mine. It’s on a golf course which hosted the U.S Open in 2014 so if you have a golfer in your life they’ll love it. Fort Steilacoom park in Lakewood has a really big and open dog park for your furry ones to run wild. Point Defiance is in Tacoma and is another favorite because there is so much to do there! Seattle is the big city.

You can purchase a City Pass on base and enjoy discounted tickets for quite a few attractions. Pikes Place is open 7 days a week from 8-5 so if you want to see it get there early because it is a main tourist spot. If you’re not a Seattle Seahawks fan, let me apologize now. The 12^th man does not care if you like another team. Seahawks will be played on every station at every restaurant during football season. The Olympic Peninsula is breathtaking! Mt. Rainier is also so beautiful and offers hiking trails for the advanced hiker and family friendly trails. You wont regret making the drive up there!

Sure, it rains almost every day, but the summer months and the Fall really do make up for it. I have never lived in a place where you can experience all 4 seasons as they’re meant to be or be able to drive 15 minutes in any direction and get to enjoy a beach or the mossy woods. Washington is a wonderful state if you don’t let the rain distract you from the beauty. I promise you wont regret living there.

Hi everyone! My name is Selene. I’ve been Married to my Soldier for a little over five years now, and we have two toddler boys. I am currently a stay at home mom, an active Teen Mom watcher, lover of my boys, and currently taking advantage of the MYCAA and furthering my education. Feel free to reach out to me on Instagram (@seleniiee) with any other questions you may have about JBLM.

5 Tips For Using Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump

January 7, 2019 by Julie

5 Tips For Using Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump

This post is sponsored by the Breastfeeding Shop!

If you are pregnant or have a new baby, you could be getting ready to purchase or find your breast pump. Having a breast pump can be a good idea for a variety of reasons. Breast pumps are useful for encouraging your milk supply, to allow you to continue to breastfeed when you go back to work, and to help you store milk if you do need to be away from your baby for any reason.

Here are five tips for using your breast pump so you can get the most out of what the pump can provide for you and your baby.

Have a nice set up area for your breast pump

Find a good place in your home where you will set up your breast pump. You can keep everything you need in that spot, and make sure the area gives you the space you need to pump. Once your baby comes, you will always have a place to go to pump or nurse your baby.

Order your breast pump early

Make sure you order your breast pump early so that it is ready for when your baby comes. The Breastfeeding Shop is the best place to do so in order to receive your no-cost breast pump through your TRICARE benefit. You can easily fill out their order form, all you need is a prescription from your doctor. You can also use their handy app to order as well. The Breastfeeding Shop has quite a variety of breast pumps to choose from.

Find the right breast pump for your needs

When you are picking out your breast pump, make sure to find the one that works the best for your needs. Some moms will be returning to a job outside the home and will need to use a pump every day. Others will only be using their pumps when they need to make extra milk or to build up their supply. Research the different breast pumps to find the one that will work best.

Learn how to use the breast pump before your baby comes

Once you get your breast pump, make sure you know how to use the pump before the baby comes. Get the parts and accessories cleaned and ready. This will save you time during those newborn and early baby days.

Make sure you have supplies and accessories

In additions to breast pumps, you are also entitled to breast pump accessories through your TRICARE benefit. You will want to start out with enough of them and then plan to order more as need be. There are limits on what you can receive with your TRICARE benefit and you can order them from the Breastfeeding Shop too.

If you are pregnant or just had a baby and have TRICARE, make sure you order your breast pump. The Breastfeeding Shop can get you started.

The Perfect Monthly Box For The Military Spouse

December 10, 2018 by Julie

I was provided a free box for review!

There are so many monthly boxes out there these days. There are boxes for book lovers, pet lovers, health food lovers, and really, a box for everyone and every interest.

Did you know that there is a box just for military spouses? Brave Crate! If you haven’t heard about them before, Brave Crate is a monthly box made just for us military spouses.

For military spouses, counting down to being reunited with their deployed service member can be miserable! That’s why each month Brave Crate send a box of curated self development and personal wellness products that allow her to shift her focus away from counting the days and onto setting goals and finding joy- so that she can conquer deployment and meet her spouse at homecoming as the strongest and most resilient version of herself.

I love Brave Crate because they always have a variety of products. And always includes a book, some sort of edible item, a challenge to go along with the monthly theme, and other fun goodies.

During a deployment, a box like this can make your day and help you focus on you instead of just on how much you miss your spouse. Deployment is the perfect time to work on yourself and Brave Crate can help you do so.

And while Brave Crate is perfect during a deployment, it is also a great box to get even if your spouse is home.

Sound good?

If you are interested, which I hope you are, you can sign up here. Make sure to use the code SWCL to receive $5 off your first box. You will be glad you did!

And make sure to follow Brave Crate on Facebook and Instagram too 🙂

All of the photos in this post are from the December Brave Crate box with a COZY theme 🙂

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

November 8, 2018 by Julie

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

Today is Veterans Day! A day to honor those who have served, whether they did so years before you were born, or doing so now. And every year, you might wonder the best way to honor the veterans in your life.

Maybe you are married to a veteran, maybe your dad or mom or a grandparent or someone else in your family has served. Maybe you just want to give back to the veteran and military community as a whole.

Here are some things you can do to really support a veteran this Veterans Day:

Listen to their stories

Listening to the stories of our veterans is important. Whether they are talking about their time in Vietnam, or about their last tour of Iraq. Read books written by veterans about what they have been through and what they have learned through the years. Hear what they have to say, and carry their words with you.

Offer them a discount

If you have a business, offer them a discount. If you own a restaurant, offer them a free meal on veterans day if you are able to. Even a 10% discount is a nice way to thank them for serving. And let people know you do offer this discount.

Vote with them in mind

No matter what side you are on, vote for veterans in mind. Think about the different policies that might support or hurt veterans. What will help them the most? Check and see if those who are running are veterans and what they have to offer your community.

Simply thank them

A simple thank you can go a long way. A thank you says that you notice them and that you care. And it won’t cost you anything to do so.

Support veteran-owned businesses

Support veteran-owned businesses when you can. Many veterans might start a business after they get out of the military. Learn about local veteran-owned businesses in your community. Shop local veteran-owned businesses when you can and share about what they have to offer for others to see.

Donate to help veterans

If you can, donate to help veterans in your area. Even if you don’t have a ton to give, every little bit counts. Organizations like Disabled American Veterans (DAV,) Blue Star Families, The Gary Sinise Foundation, Hope for the Warriors, and Operation Homefront are great places to start.

Volunteer to help veterans

There are so many places you can volunteer to help veterans. Most organizations that help veterans could use volunteers whether it is helping them serve a meal, decorate for a holiday party, sort clothing, or even donate items in need. See what is available in your local community and don’t be afraid to step up and offer some help.

This veterans day, think of all of those who have served. Those who have done so through peacetime, as well as wartime. Those who did so before 9/11 and those who did so after. Those who have signed up for 20+ years, and those who only served for a couple.

Thank you to those who have served our country, we are forever grateful.

What is your favorite way to support veterans?

When You Are Living a Military Life

November 5, 2018 by Julie

When You Are Living a Military Life

I have lived in a military community ever since I got off the airplane in Germany back in 2006. I have been through seasons of deployment after deployment. I have watched my friends go through this too. I have gone through a few PCS moves myself, I can’t even count how many people I know going through one this year.

A military life can be so different than a civilian one. I have learned this over the years, both from personal experience and the experiences of other military spouses I have known.

The military life is unique, filled with so many challenges and frustrations. There is nothing like it.

When you are living a military life, you deal with deployments.

Sometimes this means your spouse is away for just a few months, other times they can be deployed for much longer, for a year, or even more.

Sometimes this means crying yourself to sleep because you miss them so very much, sometimes it means being a shoulder for your friend to cry on when she is missing hers.

Sometimes this means feeling sick to your stomach every time the doorbell rings, other times it means receiving a call that your spouse is okay, but did get injured and trying to digest what that all means.

When you are living a military life, you deal with pcsing

Sometimes this means moving from your hometown, across the ocean, to a small German village.

Sometimes this means being stationed somewhere you never wanted to go, for an unknown amount of time.

Sometimes this means being reunited with your best friend from four years ago because you are both getting stationed at the same duty station.

When you are living a military life, you will have to stand by your service member

Even when they return from deployment, and they don’t seem like the same person.

Even when you are not sure how to make things better.

Even when it seems like your spouse’s career always comes first.

When you are living a military life, you might need to walk away

Sometimes life really does get too hard.

Sometimes a marriage falls apart, despite your best efforts.

Sometimes, things can’t last forever like you want them to.

When you are living a military life, you might feel lonely at times

Your friends might move away.

You might move away.

And your life can be filled with so many hellos, then goodbyes.

When you are living a military life, you can get frustrated with your own career plans

You might want to work in your ideal job, but there are no openings for that type of job where you currently live.

You might apply, only to be rejected because of all the moves you have made in the past.

You might have to start over every few years, and that can make you feel like you just want to give up.

Being married to a service member will make you humble, will allow you to become more independent, and will help you grow in ways you never thought possible. But at the same time, the harsh realities of a military life can really get to us. Some days will be easier than others, some duty stations will be easier than others, and some deployments will be easier than others.

We will find what works, we will we find our strength, and we will figure out how to get through what is ahead.

5 Reasons For Military Spouses To Go Back To School

September 27, 2018 by Julie

Last year, I thought long and hard about what I wanted to do in the future. I graduated with my BA in Sociology in 2001 and I never really knew what I was going to do with it. I never did get a “Sociology” job and ended up working in other ways after college. Then I started having children and started to stay home.

I have been a work at home mom for years now and while I love what I do (writing) and I love the flexibility of working from home (it’s so nice) I started to feel like I wanted to pursue something else. Something I was passionate about, something I felt I could do, and something that would be a good choice for my family.

Before I had my kids, I worked as a doula. And I loved being around birth, even though I didn’t do it very long. I had already been to quite a few births before I had my oldest baby. I loved being there, helping women through giving birth. I loved watching new life come into the world.

Last fall, I sat down with a list of careers I could see myself pursuing. Careers I would need to go back to school for, but where I could find a good job once I was done. The thing about a Sociology degree is by itself; it can be hard to find a good paying job. So while I was thankful to have that degree, I knew if I wanted to pursue any of those careers on my list I would need to go to school.

As I talked to a few people in different career paths, thought about where I saw myself in the future, and figured out what I wanted to do, there was a clear winner…

Nursing!

I wanted to become a nurse. Right now, labor and delivery has my heart, but we will see where the road leads.

I needed to take a few prereqs before I could apply to nursing school. I decided to take this year to complete them and start nursing school next fall or spring. I started my first class in August, an online one, and I am not sure how I feel about that format.

I will start my first in-person class in 17 years in a few weeks! It seems like a big change. Although I have deadlines with my work at home job, I work very flexible hours. If I need or even want to go somewhere at a certain time, I can usually make it happen. I just do my work around that.

This will change a little the rest of this school year with having to go to class a couple of times a week. And then once I do start nursing school, my life will look completely different. While I am very excited about this path, change is never easy.

I am not sure how everything is going to go. I am not sure how much time I will have for the things that are important to me. But I know everything will work out, and the sacrifice will be worth it.

As I think about this blog post, I wanted to share a bit about why I think it can be so good for military spouses to go to school. While going to school, or back to school isn’t an option for everyone, and it might not be the right season for you, going back to school can be something you can think about in the future.

Here are 5 reasons for military spouses to go back to school:

MYCAA

If your spouse is on Title 10 orders, an E-1 to E-5, W-1 to W-2 or O-1 to O-2, you can use MYCAA for certain degrees, licenses, and certificates. MYCAA will give you up to $4,000 for your education. This is money, just for you to go to school, and can be a good reason to go back.

You never finished and always wanted to

You may have started college when you were younger, then life happened, and you decided to do something else. It has been a few years, and now you want to go back. Now is a perfect time to do so.

See what colleges are in your local area. I am a big fan of Community Colleges. You can check out what degree programs they have and go from there. Online programs are also a good idea and allow you more flexibility during military life.

Career change

Maybe you do have a degree and even a career. But as life went by, you decided you wanted to do something else. That’s okay; it’s never too late to go back and get another degree to do something else. Whether you are completely changing your focus, or just going to get some more education, starting a new career can be a very good thing for you and your family.

You want your own career

Maybe it is just time for you to work on your own career. Often times, military spouses can put their own hopes and dreams on the backburner because of the craziness of military life. Other times, they become the stay at home parent while their kids are growing up.

But as you know, children do grow up, and you might find yourself in a place where school makes more sense. This was part of going back to school for me. My kids were older, and I knew they could handle different schedules.

I also won’t have to depend on childcare as much, my oldest will be about 17 when I graduate. These are big hurdles for some people, and as your children grow, some of those challenges go away, and that makes working on your own career a little easier.

The GI Bill

Did you know that your service member spouse can transfer all or part of their GI Bill to you? This can be a good way to pay for school, especially if you can’t use MYCAA or plan to get a higher degree. There are some new rules when it comes to transferring the GI Bill which goes into effect next summer so if you ever want to use their GI Bill, get things figured out soon.

There are many reasons to go back to school, whether going back is something you have always wanted to do, or the time suddenly seemed right.

Did you decide to go back to school? What went into your decision?

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Military Life

5 Tips For Using Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

When You Are Living a Military Life

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