Military Life

5 Military Spouse Friends You Need When You First PCS

June 12, 2019 by Julie Leave a Comment

When I first moved to Fort Campbell, I made friends with someone who grew up in the Clarksville area. While I didn’t go into the PCS with that goal, I just wanted to make friends, I realized how helpful that really was.

She told me about a lot of the great places to take kids, where to get a nice meal and other things about the area I might not have been able to figure out on my own, at least not for a while.

Most military spouses want to make friends when they PCS, but doing so isn’t always easy. Sometimes you can go months and months without finding anyone to connect with. That being said, if you can, look for these types of friends, because if you can find them, that will make your PCS, and your experiences at your next duty station a little bit easier.

The Friend Who Grew Up There

Finding someone who grew up in the area is such a smart idea. They can tell you about the city, where to go, where not to go, etc. They can introduce you to their friends, and help you get to know your new city, which is important. Having a local connection will also help you get to know your local civilian community.

The Friend Who Is More Outgoing Than You

One of the best things that can happen to an introverted military spouse is making friends with an extroverted military spouse. That person can be your connection to so many other people.

She will invite you on play dates, and introduce you to her neighbors. She is connected and can help you step out of your shell and get to know more people without having to do it 100% yourself.

The Friend Who Knows Post

You will also want to meet someone that knows post or base, really really well. They will know when all the kid’s activities are, they will know which CDC Hourly care center to use, and will help you get connected to some of the programs they offer, such as MOPS and PWOC.

Moving to a new installation can be so overwhelming but finding a friend that knows the place will go a long way, whether you live on or off post.

The Friend Who Has Kids The Same Age As Your Kids

If you have kids, finding friends who have kids the same age as you is such a wonderful thing. Even better when all your kids get along. You can get the kids together, while you guys hang out.

If your spouses are both deployed, have a sleepover, or even take a trip together. There are so many ways to connect when you are in the same stage of life as someone and your kids all get along.

The Friend Who Just Moved There Too

Finding friends who are also new to your duty station can be a good idea too. Why? Because you guys can learn about the place together.

There is something comforting about knowing you are not the only one who gets lost on the way to the commissary or who can’t figure out when Gate 5 is actually open.

Being a military spouse can mean moving every few years. When you move, you have to make new friends. And if you aren’t doing the moving, your friends probably are.

Here are some other blog posts about friendships and making friends during military life:

When An Introverted Military Spouse Needs To Make Friends

The Six Degrees of Separation of Military Spouse Friendships

5 Myths About Military Spouse Friendships

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

How To Make Friends When Your Kids Are All In School

The Military Spouse’s Guide to Making Friends in a Social Media World

18 Military Spouse Memes When You Just Need A Good Laugh

June 6, 2019 by Julie 1 Comment

Sometimes, and some days, you just need a good laugh. Here are 18 military spouse memes that should at least put a smile on your face:

Oh, I have done this a couple of times, and once, I even dropped my ID in between the seats and couldn’t find it. That was embarrassing.

I know some are lucky and can get stationed by the beach…but for others? It just never seems to happen.

Please, for the love, do not pack my trash!

Ya, Kentucky and Tennessee are beautiful, but not when you want to be adventurous and travel around Europe for 3-5 years.

Yes, yes the commissary will be. Maybe going to Kroger or Walmart on those days would be a better choice?

They sure do! Forever and ever! And ever!

Pretty much! Good thing Netflix is so good at making some amazing shows.

Yep, when I do have to use mine, I have to make sure I don’t accidentally use his.

For reals! Can you even PCS without freaking out at least once?

Yes! What is your drink of choice?

Wait…was it 37043 or 95406? I can’t remember anymore. What state am I even in?

Target! Yes! Just show me where the Target is!!!

Ouch! At least that means they are home right?

If only we could always be at the same duty stations as our friends!

Oh, the decisions we have to make. You really don’t want to have to buy a new heavy coat but do you really want to save it for a few years?

Make sure you learn what these mean! And try not to get them confused…;)

I bet you feel accomplished now!

Right? Could be somewhere north of here, west of here, south of here, or 2,000 miles away, who knows?

Well, I hope these military spouse memes cheered you up and made you laugh a little. Enjoy your military spouse life!

Five Ways To Help Prevent Veteran Suicide

May 15, 2019 by Julie Leave a Comment

This post is sponsored by Shepherd’s Men!

Five Ways To Help Prevent Veteran Suicide

It’s a tragedy: Every day, 22 U.S. veterans take their own lives – a needless loss of 8,000 service members a year.

Too many veterans don’t get the help they need, but experts say everyone should get involved to help save a veteran’s life.

The Problem

Returning veterans may experience divorce, joblessness, homelessness and hopelessness.

The often-devastating effects of mild to moderate traumatic brain injury (mTBI) and post-traumatic stress (PTS), plus the loss of their military community support, can cause a downward spiral.

Symptoms of mTBI include headaches and problems with balance, sleep, vision and memory. Emotional signs include depression and anxiety. But today’s treatment approaches and therapeutic technologies offer hope for veterans feeling overwhelming physical and emotional pain from these invisible wounds of war.

What You Can Do

1. Be observant about behavior changes. For many veterans, the physical symptoms of mTBI are not obvious. Be on the lookout for loss of interest in meaningful activities, personality changes, social isolation and substance abuse.

2. Reach out and spend time together. Let a veteran know he or she is not alone. Meet for coffee or go for a walk. Listen and encourage them to seek help.

3. Tell veterans and their families about helpful programs. Encourage caregivers, spouses and friends to seek help on behalf of a veteran.

The SHARE Military Initiative at Shepherd Center, Atlanta, Ga. has transformed the lives of more than 550 veterans and their families through an innovative program – with zero suicides. The program provides up to 12 weeks of intensive rehabilitation at no cost to the veteran. Therapy focuses on mild to moderate brain injury and psychological concerns of those who served in the U.S. military since September 11, 2001. Treatment plans are customized for each veteran’s needs. The program is open to all post-9/11 veterans, including those with other than honorable discharges.

Because of its intensive and comprehensive therapy, rehabilitation and life coaching, SHARE has become a model for centers nationwide. Experts in working with veterans provide medical consultation, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech and cognitive therapy, recreation therapy, case management, neuropsychology, chaplaincy and counseling.

Jessica Rodriguez is a former nurse and now a full-time caregiver and wife living with her veteran husband, Jorge, and their two daughters in Griswold, CT. Jorge, a veteran of The Iraq War, graduated from the SHARE program. Jessica credits SHARE with validating, diagnosing and treating Jorge’s injuries when many others had dismissed them. Today, he is walking, talking full sentences and able to engage in community activities with better focus and retention than before his treatment.
*Photo Credit: Shepherd’s Men*

4. Volunteer or donate to organizations battling the epidemic of veteran suicide.

5. Support fundraisers and events, such as the Shepherd’s Men Run. Annually, a team of committed volunteers run seven days of half marathons in multiple states wearing 22-pound flak jackets—to increase awareness of treatment options and suicide prevention for veterans. Shepherd’s Men have raised millions for this heartfelt mission.

Learn More

Veterans and those who want to help can call 404-603-4314 or visit www.shepherd.org/share and www.shepherdsmen.com.

Balance therapy with a SHARE client
*Photo Credit: Shepherd’s Men*

To The Special Needs Moms

May 13, 2019 by Julie Leave a Comment

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I researched everything. I wanted to make all the right choices. I wanted to avoid anything that could put him at a disadvantage. I wanted to prepare as much as I possibly could, for his birth, for his babyhood, and beyond.

And when he was born, I realized pretty quickly that making parenting decisions based on a book, or even on other’s experiences was so very different than raising your own child. Don’t get me wrong, parenting advice books and hearing other’s stories are a good thing. There is a lot you have to learn before you have a baby.

But, when you have special needs kids, you kinda want to throw all those books out the window. You want to figure out what is best for your kid, and that might be hard to figure out. And it can be hard to relate to others during your parenting journey.

I first noticed something was going on with my oldest when he was about two. We had moved to Germany when he was 18 months old and found some friends with kids similar ages. But around two, I noticed something. These other kids were talking, and my son was not.

Something was up, I just knew it. Over the next year, we found out he had a developmental delay, especially in speech. These days, at 14, he is a different kid. But it took a lot to get there.

Fast forward a few years and his little brother is turning two and talking on schedule. I was so worried but he didn’t have the same delays his brother did. But then…when he was three we started to notice some other things.

He would get mad at other kids when they wanted to play with him.

He would get in trouble every day during Pre-K.

He would focus on one thing for a very long time.

He acted like we never told him no, that we let him do whatever he wanted. But we did tell him no, he was just on his own path.

When he was five, we discovered what was going on. He had Asperger’s. He had Autism. Now we knew better how to help him.

And we have. He is 12 now. He is going to be a teenager this year, and we have come so far.

And still I struggle.

When I am sitting with a group of moms and they talk about that kid at their child’s school and how awful he is.

When something that comes so easy to other children, even his brothers, is so hard to him.

When I want to push him to do more, but I am not sure I can handle the difficulties that might come with doing so.

There are so many times when I wish I could wave a magic wand so others could understand. This special needs mom life isn’t easy and can be so isolating. I have been hurt before and I hate feeling like I could be hurt again.

So to the other special needs moms out there…

I was also the mom that couldn’t find the right playgroup.

I was also the mom, and still am the mom, that isn’t sure how my child will handle another kid’s birthday party.

I am the mom that worries every day when he goes off to school, hoping and praying he has a good day.

While we have come so far with my son, we have so far to go. He will be bigger than me soon. He will start to look like a man. I worry about that.

How will we handle his first job? What if he wants to date? How will that go? And what about college?

All moms worry, we worry about everything, but us special needs moms might worry about things that others don’t think twice about.

So to the other special needs moms out there, I get it.

I know how hard to it to sign up for something like swim lessons, when you are not totally sure if the teacher will be able to handle your son.

I know that letting them go off to school is scary, and can be a fight, in order to make sure your kid is getting what they need.

I know that some days you just want to take your kids to an island, and allow them to just be themselves, no matter what that looks like.

So remember that you are not alone even if it feels like you are sometimes. You have a challenging kid, and that’s okay. It doesn’t make them less than. You have the ability to get through whatever current parenting challenge you are going through, and know that others have been through the same.

What is something that has really helped you as a special needs mom?

How To Celebrate Military Spouses

May 10, 2019 by Julie Leave a Comment

This is a sponsored post for T-Mobile with Sofluential Media!

How To Celebrate Military Spouses

Today is Military Spouse Appreciation Day! A day to celebrate military spouses and all they do for their service members and military communities.

On this day, you might see fun memes, hear about discounts and freebies, and learn how to connect with other military spouses.

The question I have to ask myself is, what is a good way to celebrate military spouses? What can communities or businesses do? What can make today a good one for military spouses?

Here are some ideas:

Offer fun events

What better way to spend the week than hanging out with your friends and other military spouses. Whether it is a lunch, dinner, or a spa day, these events can be a fun way to recognize military spouses and give them a few hours to relax. Just a fun event to say, “thank you” for all you do.

Recognize their sacrifice

I think recognizing the sacrifice of a military spouse is so important. No, military spouses don’t sacrifice in the same way their service members do, but there are things that can be difficult about this life. From saying goodbye to their spouse for months at a time, to having to leave home and live across the country, military life isn’t always easy but can make for a unique yet wonderful life.

Support military spouses in their own career paths

One of the biggest struggles during military life beyond deployments and PCS’ing is finding your own career path as a military spouse. Military life doesn’t make this easy. What I love to see is companies going out of their way to help with this. T-Mobile is one of those companies.

Through hiring commitments, career programs, employee network groups, and the T-Mobile ONE for military rate plan, the Un-carrier is committed to supporting military and their families every single day.

Take a look at the below for more information about the T-Mobile ONE for Military plan – the best discount in wireless for military and their families:

With the plan, you can receive 20% off your first line and half off up to five additional voice lines for this T-Mobile military discount. That means you pay $55 for that first line with AutoPay instead of the regular $70. $25 off your second line, and $10 off your 3rd through 6th lines.

T-Mobile ONE Military includes everything in T-Mobile ONE at no extra cost. This includes unlimited talk, text and data, taxes and fees included, free stuff and discounts every week with T-Mobile Tuesdays, a free hour of Gogo Wifi when traveling domestically and unlimited texting and data in over 210+ global destinations.

T-Mobile ONE Military is available for the military and their families to include active duty military, reserves, national guard, veterans, and Gold Star families, plus the small businesses they own with up to 12 voice lines.

But it is so important for companies to show support for their military spouse employees as well, in addition to their customers. Military spouses have a harder time landing jobs and growing their own careers, especially with having to move often, making the unemployment rate for military spouses 4 times the national average. In addition to that, many military spouses who are employed have jobs that don’t match their higher skill, education or prior salary levels. But, T-Mobile is addressing these issues head on:

If a military spouse employee needs to PCS, T-Mobile has a formal process for military spouses to request a transfer to another retail store within 50 miles of their new location. They do their best to make a transfer possible for all employees because it is simply the right thing to do. .

T-Mobile has been named a Top Military Friendly Employer by Military Friendly® for 12 straight years.

They have a commitment to hire 10,000 veterans and their spouses by 2023. Find out more in this video!

I hope you can feel celebrated this Military Spouse Appreciation Day! Thank you for standing by your service member, and making our military community an amazing one.

When They Shave, It’s Time For Duty

May 2, 2019 by Julie Leave a Comment

This post is in partnership with Gillette’s new today.

My husband and I have been married for almost 17 years now. However, for the first three years of our marriage, he was not in the military. We lived a civilian life, and he didn’t have to worry about being as clean shaven as he does now.

Being a service member means you have to stick to a few rules about facial hair, and the length of the hair on your head. As my husband is in the National Guard now, he doesn’t have to shave every day, but he often does anyway. If he has a longer period of time between drills, he might grow out his beard.

When this happens, I tend to get used to that look, but then, one day, he shaves the beard off, gets a haircut, and looks military-ready again. This can be quite emotional for me sometimes. When he shaves like that, it reminds me of his promise to the military, and what he is going to do. Most of the time this means just a weekend drill, but other times it means he is going to be gone for longer periods of time.

Gillette has come out with a brand-new razor called that is designed for men with sensetive skin and who often get razor bumps when they shave. This is perfect for our men in uniform, who have to maintain that close shave day after day. Anyone who shaves on a regular basis knows how frustrating and painful it can be to come away with razor burn or other issues.

This Gillette razor is perfect for my husband, and even my son who has started to shave too. Being able to shave every day without worrying about razor burn or razor bumps is a big plus, and really quite necessary for those in uniform who have to shave every single day.

The razor’s unique SkinGuard bar is positioned between the blades to minimize “tug and pull,” to cut the hair at the skin level, helping to prevent irritation. The precision trimmer on the back is great for hard-to-reach areas and styling facial hair. It is like a barbershop shave in the comfort of your own home.

. For great results, you can also use the new PURE by Gillette shaving gel, or PURE by Gillette shaving creams which you can also find at Walmart.

7 Truths About Money and Military Life

April 17, 2019 by Julie Leave a Comment

Having a career in the military can be a great way to provide for your family with a steady paycheck. In addition to basic pay, your service member will also receive BAH, BAS, and other special pays based on what they are doing during their military career. If they deploy, they might earn extra military pay, and when re-enlisting, they might earn a bonus.

Money can be a sticky subject but there are some things to be aware of when it comes to money and military life. Here are a few things to keep in mind whether you are new to military life or have been a military spouse for some time.

Usaa and NavyFed pay a day early

Both USAA and NavyFed will pay a day early. This can get a little confusing when the 1st or the 15th falls on the weekend or even a Monday. There always seems to be some questions about when you will actually be paid. Here is a list of 2019 USAA Paydays and 2019 NavyFed Paydays.

Raises might take time

Your spouse comes home and tells you they got a raise. You re-do the budget to reflect the raise, but then, the next time they get paid, you don’t see the extra money. Raises are not always going to happen in a timely manner. The good news is, they will receive back pay based on the date they did get the raise, once it goes into effect.

If the military screws up pay, you will have to pay it back

Is your spouse still getting extra deployment pay after they get home? Does it seem like you are getting extra BAH? If you notice anything like that, please know that eventually, the military will figure it out, even if you don’t tell them.

And when they do, they will take that money back quickly. If you or your spouse notice an issue, your service member should talk to Finance, and make sure not to spend any of that extra money or you will find yourself in trouble when the military takes it back.

Saving money is always a good idea

Savings during military life is always a good idea. You never know when you might need that extra cushion. A PCS might cost you more than you think, military pay could get messed up and your spouse might end up with a less than normal paycheck, or you might need to take an emergency trip back home.

Setting up automatic savings is easy. You can usually do so with your bank. Even if you can only save $20 extra dollars a month, that can add up. Take a look at your budget and figure out where you can start saving.

You 100% need a budget

If you don’t already have a budget, start today. Having a budget is going to help you stay on top of your money. You need to take a look at all the income you and your spouse are bringing in and where all of your money goes.

Keeping a budget will also help you stay on track at the grocery store, what you spend on fun, and for clothing and other items your family needs. USAA has free budgeting tools and Mint has some free budget templates you can use.

Moving back to the US can shock your budget

If you have been stationed overseas, and move back to the US, you can be in for some sticker shock. There are a lot of expenses that can come up when you move back to the states from overseas.

You might end up living in a hotel longer than you thought you would, and could be tempted by all the stores and restaurants you have been without during your time in another country. Be smart with that and try not to go too crazy when you first move back. You will also be losing COLA, which you might have gotten used to receiving each month so make plans to redo your budget, even before you arrive back in the states.

Use a bonus wisely

During your service member’s time in the military, they might be able to earn a bonus. If they do, you are going to want to make sure to use that bonus wisely. Think about what would be best for your family.

You can use a bonus to pay off debt, put towards a new home, take a trip, save for retirement, or pad your savings. While spending a bonus upgrading all your electronics or buying a brand new car can be tempting, make sure to make wise choices with any extra money that comes into your home.

When Your Spouse Has CQ, In GIFs

March 12, 2019 by Julie Leave a Comment

They come home from work, you are super excited about the upcoming weekend. You can’t wait for some family time, a break from the kids, and time with your spouse.

Only…when they get home, they let you know, they have CQ this next weekend.

via GIPHY

Crap, now you will be spending a lot of the weekend without them, and they will be stuck at the CQ desk for 24 hours.

CQ is a thing some service members have to do and it isn’t very fun. CQ stands for “Change of Quarters” and is 24-hour duty, where they will have to sit at a desk, to monitor the barracks. They might have to clean, or do other duties, but they have to stay there the whole time.

And while you would think 24 hours away would be a piece of cake for those of us who have gone through a long deployment, CQ never seems to be at the right time. And thus, becomes an annoying part of living this military life.

via GIPHY

When you first hear the news that your spouse has CQ, you might be pretty chill about it. It’s just CQ after all. But then you remember your 5-month-old isn’t sleeping well right now and you could use the extra support during the night.

via GIPHY

You decide you are going to bring him lunch because, well you want to be nice like that. So you grab your kids, head to the car, only to realize you left his lunch on the counter. New plan, stop at Subway and get him a big old sandwhich, he will love that anyway.

via GIPHY

The day goes on, and you almost forget he isn’t coming home tonight. But you remember when the clock hits 6 pm and he still isn’t home. It’s been a long day and you are ready to relax.

via GIPHY

But you soon accept they won’t be around for the night and try to think about all the fun you and your kids will have. You ordered pizza, you have a fun movie for the kids, and oh, will have to do bedtime all by yourself. Yikes.

via GIPHY

You soon accept that fact too and get through it because you are quite the milspouse boss and you can conquer bedtime all by yourself. You have done it 100 other times, and CQ shouldn’t be any harder than any other time they have been gone overnight.

via GIPHY

So you put the kids to bed and you then realize the beauty of CQ, you get the remote all to yourself. You can watch the Bachelor and Real Housewives, without any commentary. And then you roll your eyes when the housewives complain that they can’t go anywhere without their husbands. You don’t know that life!

via GIPHY

You put yourself to bed, knowing that you have almost conquered CQ. And you are so thankful that THIS CQ is better than the last time he had it, over New Year’s. And you had to celebrate with a whole bottle of sparkling grape juice all by yourself.

via GIPHY

And then you get yourself in bed, hope and pray your baby doesn’t wake up, and try to get some rest. Because tomorrow, CQ will be over and things will be back to normal. Well, as normal as military life can be. As long as he gets enough sleep and can catch up on the lost hours, you still might be able to enjoy a few hours of the weekend together.

via GIPHY

Do you have any special things you do when your spouse is working CQ?

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