Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

military spouse

How You Can Get A Breast Pump Through TRICARE for $0

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How You Can Get A Breast Pump Through TRICARE for $0

This is a sponsored post by the Breastfeeding Shop. 

How You Can Get A Breast Pump Through TRICARE for $0

We had two of our three children after my husband joined the Military. With these two boys, we had TRICARE Prime which comes with some benefits. Since I have had my boys, TRICARE has added a fantastic benefit that everyone who can take advantage of should. You can receive a breast pump through TRICARE for $0.

“Wait? A $0 breast pump just because I had a baby?” 

Yes! Since 2014, TRICARE will allow any female who has either given birth to a baby or adopted one to receive a $0 breast pump. This will encourage more moms to breastfeed and enjoy the benefits of breast milk. With a pump, they can help increase their milk supply, or be able to continue breastfeeding even after they return to work.

This benefit is valid for any type of TRICARE. This means that as a National Guard spouse I would be able to get the $0 breast pump too if I ever had another baby.

TRICARE will also pay for certain breast pump accessories such as tubing, bottles, and storage bags. This will allow you to have everything you need to start using your breast pump.

How You Can Get A Breast Pump Through TRICARE for $0

“But wait, I can get this pump, but how do I do so? Do I have to fill out a form?”

The good news is you can head on over to the Breastfeeding Shop, and they will help you receive your $0 breast pump. This is what you need to do:

  1. Get your prescription from your doctor. This must be from a TRICARE authorized provider. Your prescription should show that you can get either a basic manual or standard electric pump. The Breastfeeding Shop can also contact your physician directly, but the process will be faster if you can get that prescription yourself.
  2. Pick out the right pump. At the Breastfeeding Shop, there are quite a few pumps you can choose from. Read the reviews, talk to friends, and decide on the right pump for you and your baby.
  3. Fill out the Insurance Form at the Breastfeeding Shop and submit. Once they confirm your insurance, they will ship you your breast pump and breast pump accessories.
  4. Receive your breast pump and accessories, learn how to use your pump, and get started with the benefits of using a breast pump with your baby.

“That sounds awesome, can I do this before I have my baby? Or do I have to wait until they are born?”

You can do this before your baby comes. That way, you can have everything ready to go when they arrive. Of course, if you have already had your baby, you can still use this benefit too.

Head on over to the Breastfeeding Shop to see what breast pumps they have to offer and to get started. They would be happy to help if you have any extra questions and will work hard to make sure you can get your $0 breast pump in a timely manner.

Have you received your TRICARE breast pump benefit yet?

When Grandma Can’t Be There: The Reality of Living Far From Home

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When Grandma Can't Be There: The Reality of Living Far From Home

When Grandma Can’t Be There: The Reality of Living Far From Home

I just got back from three whole weeks in California. We did so many fun things. We went to Disneyland, Knott’s Berry Farm, Sea World, the Beach, and more. We also spent a lot of time with family.

We stayed with my family and my husband’s family came down to see us so we got to hang out with them too. My boys got to spend time with both Grandmas, Grandpa, their Uncle, their aunt, their great aunt, and their cousins.

Being able to spend this time together was very much needed. In February of this year, my family suffered a tragedy and lost my sister-in-law to suicide. I knew I wanted to visit in July before this happened but once it did, I knew I had to.

Life is shorter than we realize and nothing is guaranteed. I thought I would have plenty of time in the future to see my sister-in-law and I didn’t. So I planned a three week trip to California this summer and I hope I can do that again in the future.

When Grandma Can't Be There: The Hard Truth of Living Far From Home

We live over 2,000 miles from both of our families.

We moved away because of choice, we stay because we haven’t figured out a way to afford to move back. California is one expensive place.

If you are an active duty military family, you most likely will also be far from home. Maybe you are a few states away, but life makes visiting difficult. Maybe you are on different coasts, and visits are few and far between. Maybe you live in Europe, experiencing an overseas PCS, but part of you is still back home in the states.

We have been lucky over the years. Family has been able to visit us. When we were in Germany, all three living grandparents were able to visit with us there. They have also been able to take trips out to Tennessee to see us where we live now. Hopefully, there will be more in the future.

Right before we left for the airport to return to Tennessee I made a comment on Facebook about how I was looking forward to going home but I didn’t like that it was so far away from my family.

When I was in high school I couldn’t wait to leave. Two months after graduation I moved nine hours away to go to college. I have always wanted to live other places and experience how other people live.

When Grandma Can't Be There: The Hard Truth of Living Far From Home

But all of this independence comes with a cost.

Not living close to family means you can go years without seeing them. Yes, years.

Not living close to family means you are the cousins the rest of the family doesn’t really know, and that sucks.

Not living close to family means that each visit has a time limit and you can’t help but be aware of it.

Not living close to family means you will miss birthday parties, Christmases, Thanksgivings, and important events you otherwise wouldn’t have.

Not living close to family means you have to work that much harder at staying connected through the miles.

Someday we will hopefully live close to our families again. Someday we won’t have to miss them so much. And that is what I keep in mind when we say goodbye.

 

I am happy with my life here in Tennessee. We like our neighborhood, we like our church, we like the boy’s schools and the military community that surrounds us. This place has a lot to offer, but my family is simply too far away for me to be able to fully dig my roots into it.

If I think about everything we are missing, I can get pretty sad about the situation. I know my family is missing so much about my boys growing up.

I don’t even know what it would be like to have Grandma in the same town as us. I don’t know what being close to family on a day to day basis would be like.

I do know that so many military and even non-military families are living their lives away from their loved ones.

Those of us that are living far away have learned what we can do to make that distance a little bit closer. Calls and Facetime can help. Care packages can send love over the miles. Visits with one another are a must. And there is always hope that you will be able to move (or get stationed) close by them in the future.

How far away are you from your family? What do you do to stay connected to your family from miles away?

What I Have Learned After 15 Years of Marriage

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What I Have Learned After 15 Years of Marriage

What I Have Learned After 15 Years of Marriage

The first week of August my husband and I celebrated 15 years of marriage. That day in August 2002, I became a wife and started my life with my husband. We had met the year before, and we both knew right away that we were meant to be.

Over the years our life has gone in different directions than I thought it would. I didn’t believe that we would be a military family, that came a few years later. I thought we would have a daughter; we have three sons. I didn’t know how difficult certain things would be or where this road of life would lead us.

When you have been married for a while, you learn about what it means to be married, what it’s like to go through life with someone else, and what it’s like to raise a family together.

Here is what I have learned in the last 15 years of marriage:

What I Have Learned After 15 Years of Marriage

Life is full of surprises

Life is not going to go the way you think it will. Whether that means surviving through deployments you never knew you would have to go through, moving to a place you never even thought about, or having different children than you thought you would.

Life will be filled with happy things like a new baby, buying a house, and going on an amazing vacation. Life will have sadness in it whether it is the death of one of your parents to cancer, the suicide of your sister-in-law, or a time of struggling with jobs and making enough money.

You will go through these happy times, and sad ones. You will need to depend on one another when you do. All couples go through these different types of situations and as hard as they might seem, we are not alone in trying to figure out how to deal with them.

You won’t always like each other

Sometimes I get annoyed with my husband and sometimes he gets annoyed with me. Before deployments, we can fight more than we normally do, about the silly stupid stuff. You won’t always like your spouse, but that feeling won’t last forever if you can work through your situation.

Stress can cause a marriage to break, especially if you don’t address what is causing the stress. If you feel like you can’t get past a particular situation, it is okay to ask for extra help. Going to marriage counseling doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can help you and your spouse and get you two to a better place.

You will still make each other smile

My husband still makes me smile. Whether it is because he is playing with the kids or because he is just walking through our house. I am still in love with this man and to be able to look at him and smile is a good thing.

Life sometimes gets so busy, and with both of us working hard, it can be difficult to find time to just hang out together, but we do try. Giving one another a quick smile or kiss during the day can go a long way in helping us connect during those busy days.

What I Have Learned After 15 Years of Marriage

Growing old together really is amazing

When my husband and I got married I was 23; he was 26. Now we are 38 and 41. We have grown up a lot since those years. When we look at our wedding photos, we look so much younger than we do today. We have gray hair, more wrinkles, and we don’t move quite as fast.

I love this part of marriage. Of knowing we were together when I was in my early twenties and knowing we will be going through our 40s together soon (I still have 1.5 years, haha.) As each year goes by, we learn more about one another and experience different stages of life.

We had the years before kids, then they started coming, and diapers and baby food were the norm. Now our oldest is almost a teenager, and we are entering a new stage of life. It’s fun to look back over the years of where we have been and all that we have done together.

As we start a new married year together, I am thankful for my husband. I love what we have built together, and I am excited to see where the future takes us.

How long have you been married? What is your best marriage tip?

25 Reasons To Go Home For a Deployment

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25 Reasons To Go Home For a Deployment

25 Reasons To Go Home For a Deployment

Deployment is coming. What do you do? Do you stay in your current home, solo parenting and making the best of your situations or do you pack it all up, go back home and get through the months away in a familiar space?

I went home for three months of a deployment, and it was one of the best things I ever could have done. I am not sure I would ever go home for that length of time again, my kids are older now, but for that deployment, it was the right choice.

25 Reasons To Go Home For a Deployment

Here are 25 reasons to go home for a deployment:

  • Because you hate your duty station

Let’s face it, if you can’t stand your duty station, going home for a deployment might work out in your favor. Getting a break from a place you don’t want to be can be a good idea. Even just going home for a few months can help you come back, ready to start over at the place you will still need to call home.

  • Because you hate your living situation at your duty station

You might love where you live just not your physical home. Your apartment could be way too small, you might hate your on post neighborhood, or just can’t stand your current living situation.

  • Because you just had a baby

After having a baby, having an extra set of hands during a deployment is going to be a good thing.

  • Because your family is helpful

If your family is helpful, going home will be a good thing. They will help you find a place to stay and be there for you when you need them.

  • Because your best friend still lives there

When your best friend still lives in your home town, spending time with her can be a perfect thing during a deployment. She might not fully understand military life, but she will be the listening ear that you need.

  • Because it snows too much at your duty station

If you are not used to snow, driving in the snow, and living in the snow, being at a place where it snows can be quite difficult. Why not head for warmer temps if that is the case?

  • Because you miss the beach

There is something about the beach, especially if you grew up with it in your backyard. Being close to the ocean water can be quite therapeutic.

  • Because you want your kids to know your family

What better way for your children to get to know your family than living right there with them.

  • 25 Reasons To Go Home For a DeploymentBecause you want to show your kids what life was like when you were growing up

When I went home for those three months, I was able to do a lot of the things I did growing up with my own children. That was a fun summer and one I will never forget.

  • Because you don’t want to be around the military 24/7

Sometimes we just want a big old break from the military. Going home for a deployment is a way to do it.

  • Because you want to visit, but you would rather just stay for a while

Visiting can be good, but staying a while can make the visit even better.

  • Because it is hard for anyone to come visit you

When no one can visit you, whether that is for health or financial reasons, going to them might be the only way to spend time together.

  • Because your kids haven’t started school

If your children are not school aged yet, going home makes more sense than if they are. This might be the only time to go home for a deployment.

  • Because you homeschool and you can

If you homeschool, going home for a few months won’t mess up the school year like it would if they attended school outside the house. Take advantage of this.

  • Because you want to experience something different

Home might be totally different than your current duty station. That might be just what you want for this deployment.

  • Because you want to always have help with the kids

Going home can mean having quite a few people to babysit your kids. People you love, people you trust, and people who love your children.

  • Because your family misses you

When you are the branch of the family tree who lives far away, people tend to miss you. Going home for a deployment can help with this.

  • Because you can save money

Look at your financial situation, will going home save you money?

  • Because you can go to school easier

If you want to go back to school, moving home could make that easier.

  • Because you want to help your family

Your own family might need help from you. Going home for a few months can be a way to help out when you otherwise would not be able to.

  • Because your mom is a good cook and you are not

When you are missing her home cooking, having it often during a deployment isn’t going to hurt.

  • Because you know your kids would love it

If you know your kids would enjoy your time back home, it could be something to seriously think about.

  • Because you will be PCSing right after he gets back

For some, going home make sense since you will be PCSing when they get home from the deployment.

  • Because you suffer from anxiety

Suffering from anxiety during a deployment can make things more difficult. Going home can help with that.

  • Because your duty station never felt like home

Sadly, no matter how hard you try, your duty station might never have clicked with you. And going home for the deployment will be your best bet.

25 Reasons To Go Home For a Deployment

When trying to make this decision, remember that going home for a deployment completely depends on you, your family, and your situation. What works for one person might not work for another.

I hope this list will get you thinking about whether it is the right option for you or not.

Have you ever gone home for a deployment? How was it?

No, You Never Get Used To Deployments

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No, You Never Get Used To Deployments

No, You Never Get Used To Deployments

I am not sure when my husband will deploy again. During our last deployment, I thought that would be our last one. Then he joined the National Guard. And although we have not experienced a deployment with the National Guard yet, that could happen. So I have to think ahead and prepare myself.

When I think about him deploying again, I get that nervous feeling in my stomach. Even though I have been through deployments before, the next one will be completely different. My boys will be different ages; we will be in a different type of situation, he could end up going to a different type of place.

No, You Never Get Used To Deployments

You see, each deployment is its own experience.

Your first deployment might not be your hardest, your shortest deployment might prove to be harder than any other deployment. As most seasoned military spouses know, you never quite get used to having your spouse live away from you, in a war zone, fighting for our country.

Just because you have been through a deployment before, it doesn’t mean that you have every future deployment under control and that they won’t challenge you, because they will.

And although you will never truly get used to them leaving every so often, you will learn better how to get through those times apart.

You will figure out what works best for you and your family.

You will learn if counting down the days works for you or if you should just count down the months instead.

You will figure out how to stay busy, even if how you choose to do so changes during each deployment. You will learn about resilience, patience, and how to be more independent.

You will learn how to mow the lawn, take your kids to all their sports events alone, and how to stay sane when you feel anything but.

No, You Never Get Used To Deployments

You will figure out that what works for you for this deployment, might not work for you for the next deployment and could be entirely different from what works for your neighbor for her deployment.

You will figure out how to find people to get through the deployment with, even if that feels overwhelming at certain duty stations.

You will understand what your spouse needs from you while they are gone, whether that is a care package once a week or just to offer a listening ear when they call.

Over the years as a military spouse, you will figure out how to cope during deployments. You have to. If you don’t, you would never be able to make it through.

You will never get used to watching your spouse walk away, you will never get used to those lonely nights, and having to be both mom and dad to your kids. 

You will never get used to that last kiss, that last hug, and that last goodbye.

Your tears will always come, the first day will always be hard, and you will always wish that they didn’t have to go.

This is a good thing. This means that your spouse is someone special. That their presence in your home is a welcome one. That them being gone is not the norm, even if you understand why they have to go. That when they return, you will put the pieces back together and can be a full family once again.

No, You Never Get Used To Deployments

No, you never get used to deployments, but you can find support and rock the heck out of any deployment you will have to go through.

Although you start off feeling like a huge weight has been put on you, you will figure out how to lessen the stress and be able to find ways to thrive during your time apart. As the days go by, you will find yourself getting to a place where the deployment feels more manageable. Where you can see how you are going to get through the deployment, and how you can make the best of the situation.

How many deployments have you been through?

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life

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13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life

As military spouses, we each live our own lives. Although we are all unique and there is no one way to be a military spouse, there are parts of military life that ring true for all of us. From deployments to PCSing, these means ring true to military life.

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life

 

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life

Yes! OPSEC! It’s important and can be a bit confusing.
If you are a new military spouse, learn what OPSEC is and make sure to check out PERSEC as well.

 

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life

Military life will push you out of your comfort zone whether you like it or not. What is something adventurous that you have done since you became a military spouse?

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life

Sometimes those waves feel like too much but you will get through them.
And then enjoy the more peaceful periods of a deployment.

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life

The military ball! A time to dress up and go out with your spouse.
Dinner and dancing and away from the kids, what could be better than that?

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life

Yep! We live for those calls. Even if they wake us up from a deep sleep.

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life
Commissary shopping is a big part of military life. Stick to these rules for a better experience.

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life

You never know where you might end up as a military spouse.

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life
PCSing soon? Moving is always a chore but you have to make the best of it.

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life

This sums up military life all in one meme!

 

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life

Always. Military life will keep you guessing and once you have figured it out, you will learn something new.

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life

Yes! We have to find our people to help us through. Then in return, we can be there for them.

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life

Truth! Nothing is 100%. Nothing. It can always change.

13 Military Spouse Memes That Ring True to Military Life

Yes! Embrace that fresh start! Find new places to explore and bloom where you are stationed.

How long have you been a military spouse?

What to do When Your Spouse’s Deployment Orders Get Extended

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What to do When Your Spouse's Deployment Orders Get ExtendedWhat to do When Your Spouse’s Deployment Orders Get Extended

The summer of 2007 was a difficult one for us in Schweinfurt, Germany. Our husbands had been deployed since the August before, and things were starting to wind down on their deployment. Although their orders said 12 months, there was a lot of talk about them coming home in June of that year, making the deployment nine months.

That didn’t happen, and they said that the deployment would be a year. And then, one day, it became much more than that. My husband’s unit was part of the surge in Iraq. They would no longer be coming home in August. Their orders were extended for October which became November.

What to do When Your Spouse's Deployment Orders Get Extended

My husband returned home to us a little shy of 15 months. We had not seen him since R&R, 11 months before. To say this was a long deployment was an understatement. And it felt like the deployment would never end. Even when we got close, it got extended.

Having your spouse’s deployment orders extended is one of the hardest things to have to deal with. Even if you have prepared for this happening, there is still a part of you that hoped it wouldn’t happen. You will probably feel crushed, broken, and wonder how in the world you will make it until they can get home.

If your spouse’s deployment orders get extended, here are some things you can do to help you make it through:

Let it out

When you first hear the news, you are probably going to break down. That is okay. Have a good cry about the situation, vent to a friend, or just let everything out in a journal.

It’s okay to be mad about the situation, it’s okay to be angry at the military, it’s okay to be upset because your spouse is going to be gone longer than you thought.

What to do When Your Spouse's Deployment Orders Get Extended

Look at the benefits

For us, we started to receive an extra $1,000 a month after the one year mark. This was a benefit to me and although I would have preferred to have my husband home earlier, it was nice to have that extra money.

Take some time to figure out what your benefits are, even if they seem small. Focusing on the advantages of the situation can help you handle it better.

Make a game plan

Once you have cried it all out over the extension, come up with a game plan. Back in 2007, a group of us spouses got together at McDonald’s after we heard the news. We were in shock, but we wanted to figure out how we were going to get through this. And we knew we would have to depend on one another.

Figure out how to stay busy

Staying busy is going to be even more important the last few months of an extended deployment. You don’t want just to sit around being bored. That will drive your nuts. Continue to stay busy and get out there. You will be glad that you did.

Try something new

The end of this deployment is a good time to try something new. Maybe for you, that is starting a new book series or volunteering somewhere. It could also mean starting school, looking for a new job, or even going on a small trip. The key is finding something you can focus on.

What to do When Your Spouse's Deployment Orders Get Extended

Extended deployments are so difficult to deal with, but they are a part of military life. Orders get changed, and there are a lot of different reasons why your spouse might be deployed longer than you thought they would be.

Have you ever been through an extended deployment?

 

Becoming a Military Spouse and Finding the Support You Need to Get Through

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Becoming a Military Spouse and Finding the Support You Need to Get ThroughBecoming a Military Spouse and Finding the Support You Need to Get Through

I spent three years as a civilian wife.

During those years we could plan things out, and most likely they would not change. If he needed time off, he would ask for it. I was a new mom, and he had been there for the nine months of pregnancy and then the newborn months.

During those years we had a pretty simple life. There wasn’t a lot of drama. I knew he would be there for my birthday, our son’s firsts and the idea of parenting my son alone for any length of time sent shivers down my spine. I laugh about that now.

Military spouses

My years as a civilian wife were far from easy of course. I was stressed like every new mom was. But at the time I had no idea what was ahead for us.

In November of 2005, my husband and I made the choice for him to re-enlist in the Army, at age 30. He had been in before, years before I had met him.

I didn’t think being a military wife was going to be my life. Not at all. The Army was in his past. But in 2005, it became his present, and I started my life as a military spouse.

It’s been almost 12 years since that happened and over those 12 years, so much has happened. We have added two more children, gone through 4 deployments, 3 PCS moves and became a National Guard family.

My husband joining the military changed everything.

My civilian life? That is a thing of the past. I learned pretty quickly that being a military wife was an entirely different way to live.

I figured out that you can’t always depend on your spouse to be there. Whether you are thinking about your son’s first steps or the birth of your child.

I figured out that missing someone you are married to for over a year is completely different than missing a boyfriend for a few months when you went off to college.

I figured out that we as military spouses see the fear in our future, might even start to panic about it, but figure out ways to make it through.

Military spouses

As a civilian wife, the idea of solo parenting seemed unbelievable.

As a military wife, I have spent the equivalent of years without my partner by my side.

In this world, we always want to compare, and I can’t help compare my own life before the Army vs after. They were so different. I was different.

But over the years I have learned something important. No matter what your stress might me. No matter what struggle you might be dealing with. No matter how weak you feel, you can figure out a way to make it through.

We can all depend on one another. During our darkest days, we can turn to a friend, a family member, or even an online community.

We can see that others have worried for their spouses like we have. We can see that others have broken down at having to change ALL the diapers. We can learn from those who have come before us and have wise words to share.

I have heard people say that being a military wife is the same as being a civilian wife. This has not been my experience at all. My two lives are like night and day.

Becoming a Military Spouse and Finding the Support You Need to Get Through

Being a military wife is probably one of the best things that have happened to me.

In the last 12 years, I have learned so much about life, how to cope, how to handle stress, and how to be resilient in the face of disappointing circumstances.

I have seen the power of the military community. To help one another out through deployments, the loneliness, and the hardships.

I have become who I am because my husband has served. And I know that my life would be completely different had my husband never rejoined the military on that day in 2005.

If you are a military spouse looking for support, you have come to the right place. On this blog, you will find posts about deployments, pcsing, and all things military life.

Although we all come from different branches, we have a lot in common and finding support is a must!

You can also sign up for my mailing list to receive a free guide to the first 30 days of a deployment and join my Facebook support group.