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When Military Life is New

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When Military Life is New

When military life is new, everything thing seems so strange.

You learn quickly that nothing really makes sense the way you think it should make sense. You learn quickly that patience is going to be needed. You learn quickly that some days are going to get you pretty frustrated and there will be nothing you can do about the situation but wait.

And there will be a lot of waiting…

Waiting on orders. Waiting on people. Waiting for something good to actually happen.

There will be a lot of wondering…

Wondering where you will live. Wondering what a deployment will be like. Wondering if this new life will be as difficult as you think it might be.

As you join this new community, you can’t help but meet new people, from all over the country, even from different parts of the world.

You will make friends with some of them, and some of those friends will turn into family, as you get through deployments and separations together, making memories along the way.

You will learn new skills, and apply them to new situations. You will figure out how to get a house ready for the movers with only two-weeks notice. You will figure out how to pull everything together when at first you didn’t think you could.

When military life is new, you can get pretty worried about deployments.

Before your first one, you might assume that being away from your significant other is too difficult. You might assume that you are not strong enough to get through the time away. But you will find that you are strong enough and that you can do hard things, even things you didn’t think were possible.

There will be homecomings and celebrations. You will sometimes think about how different your life is now, and all the amazing experiences you have gained from it. There will be good days and bad ones.

And as one deployment comes to an end, you will feel the confidence that you can do anything that comes your way. There might be bumps in the road, but you will get creative and figure out how to best go forward.

When military life is new, unknown words can confuse you.

You might not know the MWR from the DFAC, but you will soon figure these military acronyms out. At the same time, after 15 years you might hear phrases and still don’t know what they mean. This is all a part of this life.

You will figure out the right times to go to the Commissary, and how to tip the baggers. You will figure out if the PX is worth shopping at, and what events are worth going to. You will learn about your FRG and decide how much you want to be a part of that.

You will learn about OPSEC and PERSEC and TRICARE. You will figure out what to say and what not to say. What you put out there on social media, especially about a deployment matters.

When military life is new, you will daydream about going off to Europe, Hawaii, and Japan.

You will soon learn that you might end up in Texas, Alabama, and the desert of California. There really are so many different options for a military career. And you don’t always get a say in the matter.

And wherever you PCS to, you will figure out how to bloom where you are stationed, and find the good in a place you might not want to be. You will get to explore places you never thought you would ever go. You will have to leave your comfort zone, but find amazing things when you do.

And when it comes time to leave, to PCS somewhere new, you might not want to go. You might want to stay forever. But you know this isn’t possible and you know it will be time to move on.

When military life is new, you will soon learn how much this military life will surprise you.

From the amazing friends that you will meet!

To the places you will get to go!

To the love you will feel at every homecoming, and all the little moments this life brings.

If you are new to this life, welcome. Being a military spouse can be such a wonderful thing. While some days will be harder than others, know that you have joined an amazing community. Know that you have people to walk this life with, no matter what this life brings.

How long have you been a military spouse?

9 Military Spouse Memes for Your Military Spouse Life

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Whether you are a brand new military spouse, or have been one for a long time, military life can be quite the unique experience. From deployments, to pcsing across the country, you might never know what is just around the corner. Sometimes you have to have a sense of humor about everything military life brings.

9 Military Spouse Memes for Your Military Spouse Life

Here are 9 military spouse memes for your military spouse life:

Military Spouse Memes

I know for myself, when I was feeling sad during a deployment, I would try to picture homecoming and remind myself that the end of the deployment would come and he would be in my arms again.

Military Spouse Memes

What is it with Murphy’s law and deployments? Our last deployment, the AC broke and my kid stuck a rock in his ear, all within the first 24 hours. No fun!

Military Spouse Memes

Some people get PCS orders over a year in advance, some don’t and still don’t know with only a few months to go. Has that ever happened to you?

Military Spouse Memes

It’s true, if you can find good friends at your duty station, your time there will be much better.

Military Spouse Memes

100%! Military spouses want to attend events but if they don’t have anyone to watch their kids, they can’t go. When planning military spouse events, please keep this in mind so more can attend 🙂

Military Spouse Memes

Sometimes during deployments, you have to do what you can do to get through, and pizza might just become your best friend.

If you are new, you might not know what many of these words mean, but don’t worry, you will learn quickly and will become very familiar with military life lingo.

Military Spouse Memes

If you have more than one child, chances are they were all born in different places.

Military Spouse Memes

It can sometimes be hard to be okay with where you are stationed because of factors such as weather if you are not used to it, but you get through those challenges and come out stronger through it all.

Enjoy these military spouse memes and read more about military life here on the blog 🙂

Where Does the Modern Military Spouse Fit In?

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Where Does the Modern Military Spouse Fit In?

My husband joined the military back in 2005. These were heavy Iraq and Afghanistan days. Deployments were long and the breaks between were way too short. This was my intro to military life, and the years following shaped me into who I am today.

I was also a SAHM. Choosing to be home vs working on my career, at least for the first few years. We were stationed in Germany and at the time, I just wanted to be home with my boys. However, it was in that environment where I gave birth to this blog, which has led me to my career as a freelance writer.

This type of job fits in easily with military life. We no longer move, but if we did, if we had to be stationed somewhere else, I could take my career with me, as many of my active duty spouse friends do. So many spouses have made their careers work through military life, working on their own dreams within the crazy that this life brings.

During my early years as a military spouse, I was surrounded by the military pretty much 24/7. I depended on them for everything it seemed. From the schools my son went to, to where I bought groceries, to where I got my mail. We lived and breathed it.

There were FRG meetings, and balls to attend, and military events. So many of the spouses I met along the way were SAHMs or those who worked part-time. This fits in well with the military culture which seems to assume that if a service member is married, their spouse is at home, tending to everything they can’t.

But times change. People change. And I am not sure as many military spouses are choosing to stay home. I am not sure as many military spouses want to give up a career for their service member. If their spouse wants to join the military, they expect to be able to keep their own career path, and I don’t think that is asking too much.

The military needs to figure out how to embrace the modern military spouse. Yes, some spouses will still want to be stay-at-home parents, and that is totally fine, but if a spouse chooses not to be, can their service member still serve? Will they just walk away?

What about the FRG? Run by so many volunteers. How will that structure change with the needs of the modern military? What can be done to take that burden off of the military spouse volunteer and still provide the services that military communities need?

Will the military put money behind any of this? Will they care or just assume that things will always stay the same? Will they just assume that even within the modern military there are enough military spouses to fill in those gaps?

Age is another factor. More people are waiting longer to get married. How does this impact the military community? How will this shape the future of military culture?

I am not sure what needs to be done but taking the spouse’s career path in mind is important. Maybe making the norm of being at one duty station 5 years instead of 3 would be a great start? That would allow the spouse to put down some roots, at least for a time. I just have to believe there is more that can be done.

I know I am not the only one who has thought about the future of the military and the military spouse. There is a lot that needs to be done. There is a lot that needs to change. But the question is, with those who have the power to change things work to do so?

What do you think needs to be changed about the military in general to reflect a more modern military culture???

Embracing Strength and Love: 20 Inspirational Quotes for Military Spouses During Deployment

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Embracing Strength and Love: 20 Inspirational Quotes for Military Spouses During Deployment

One of the biggest things you can do for yourself during deployment is figure out what you can tell yourself when you hit a low point. Little reminders, quotes, and inspiration can go a long way in helping you get through this time apart. There is something about reminding yourself why you can do this, or even how you can make it through can turn your deployment day around.

If you need some ideas, here is a list of 20 inspirational quotes for military spouses to use during deployment.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“In the face of adversity, we have a choice. We can be bitter, or we can be better.” – Maya Angelou

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela

“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.” – Charles R. Swindoll

“Believe you can, and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean

“Success is not about the destination; it’s about the journey.” – Zoë Saldana

“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” – Roy T. Bennett

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” – Maya Angelou

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Greene

“Storms make trees take deeper roots.” – Dolly Parton

“No matter how much it hurts now, someday you will look back and realize your struggles changed your life for the better.” – Unknown

“Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” – Joshua J. Marine

“Out of difficulties grow miracles.” – Jean de La Bruyère

“You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.” – Brian Tracy

“If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.” – H.G. Wells

Chasing Your Own Dreams in the New Year

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Chasing Your Own Dreams in the New Year

Chasing Your Dreams

“New Year, New Me!” is a common phrase we hear this time of year. As the old year ends and a new one begins, we all start to think about how we can better our lives. What can we change about ourselves? What goals can we focus on? How can we chase our dreams?

As military spouses, we might not know what the new year will bring. Will our spouse deploy again? When will the deployment they are currently on end? Will we PCS? And to where? There are so many unknowns it can be hard to know what to focus on.

As a military spouse, being able to chase your own dreams is important. You want to be able to focus on yourself instead of just your spouse’s career. Your career and dreams matter just as much.

As we go into a new year, start thinking about what you want your life to look like. You might not know if you will be living in Japan or Georgia, but you can work on yourself, and your own dreams as much as possible.

Here are a few ideas:

Do you want to go to school?

Maybe you already have your college degree but want to go back for something else. Maybe you never got your degree and feel like now is the time. There are many options for military spouses to go back to school. You can go 100% online, and get that degree from your own home, no matter where that might be. You can attend classes at a local college, or even on post. Here at Fort Campbell, you can attend some classes at their Education Center. This makes it easier for some military spouses to be able to focus on their education.

Do you want to start a business?

Starting a new business can be a smart move for those interested in this type of work. A business is something you can possibly take with you from duty station to duty station. There are so many options for online businesses these days. If you have a good business idea, maybe the new year is the time to start. Figure out what you want to do, plan, and go for it.

Do you want to write a book?

Books are truly the best things in life! Why not write your own? Do you have a book idea swimming in your head? Maybe the new year is the time to get it written. Whether it is a nonfiction book about your experiences as a military spouse or a fun romance you have been thinking about for a while. The sky is the limit!

Do you want to find a new job?

Maybe you are ready for a job change. Perhaps you have been at home for a while and want to return to the workforce. Whatever the reason, looking for a new job can be pretty daunting. There are a lot of steps to finding the right job. Luckily, there are many job search resources available to military spouses.

Planning your new year

As a new year approaches, try to think about all the goals you want to accomplish, from personal to professional, to goals for your family. Make a list. Make notes about how you will achieve them. Create a vision board. Figure out how to get to where you want to be.

Whatever your goals are for the new year, get yourself organized and figure out the best way to accomplish them. Working on your own goals, even if a deployment is in your future, will help you stay active and busy no matter what life brings. Good luck and Happy New Year!

Leading With “Hart” Building a Military Spouse-Friendly Workplace

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Leading With “Hart” Building a Military Spouse-Friendly Workplace

When my spouse joined the military nearly twenty years ago, I didn’t fully know what I was getting into. The only thing I knew was that adventure, unpredictability, and new friendships were coming my way wherever we went. I didn’t understand just how much the constant moves, deployments, TDYs, and unpredictable schedule would shape not only my personal life but also my professional life. Like many military spouses, I spent the early years just taking the first job I could get while going to college.

I soon realized I needed to find a career that could withstand PCS’ing, resume gaps, and the ever-changing demands of military life. It allowed me to contribute financially to my family, maintain a sense of purpose, and grow a career that I could take with me. Remote work became my new goal long before it was mainstream.

I became strategic about developing transferable skills, focusing on roles that valued adaptability, communication, and creativity. Those were the things I could take with me to any job in most career fields. For me, it was about finding a role that required the skills I naturally had; the industry was less important at the time. I eventually landed in project management and then honed in on an industry I’d enjoy. 

Project management in brand marketing was where I needed to be.

When I first started working at Hart House Creative Studios, I was blown away by the company culture, which was already the kind that would allow military spouses to thrive. It was meant to be. The type of environment that not only gave military spouses the opportunity to work but also actively supported them, along with all its team members.

Creating a Military-Spouse-Friendly Organization

I’ve always had a passion for connecting military spouses to jobs and careers, as I am deeply ingrained in the community. So when I found this amazing organization grounded in flexibility and understanding, which are two things military families need in abundance, I knew Hart House and the military spouse talent pool needed to be brought together more.

Helping Hart House become more military-friendly was a very smooth process because our founder already had a strong belief in work-life balance and in creating space for life to happen. Work is only part of our day. To become a military-friendly organization, we committed to hiring from the military community where we could; we added more federal holidays to the company calendar to allow for more family time, implemented sick time, bereavement leave, and leave policies that accommodate the ever-changing needs of military life.

I also wanted our internal culture to reflect the community we serve. We recognize military-specific holidays, celebrate milestones like promotion ceremonies and homecomings, and understand that sometimes the biggest victories aren’t professional, they’re personal.

Hiring Within the Community

Today, we proudly employ military spouses and a few “military kids,” talented professionals who are employees or freelance team members. We also partner with organizations dedicated to military spouse employment, ensuring we’re part of a larger network committed to expanding opportunities for the military community.

Military spouses make incredible employees because we are resilient and resourceful. We have to rebuild, pivot, and find a way to move forward every few years, which is not unlike the nature of the business world. We are team players because community is essential to survival in the military world.

We are problem-solvers, multitaskers, and self-starters because we often juggle households, deployments, kids, and careers simultaneously. When you hire a military spouse, you’re not only getting a skilled professional, you’re bringing on someone who knows how to adapt, collaborate, and get the job done no matter the circumstances.

Why This Matters

Military spouses need more than just “portable” jobs. We need meaningful careers, supportive workplaces, and organizations that understand our lifestyle. My mission with Hart House Creative Studios is to continue expanding opportunities within our company and beyond it to show other businesses that hiring military spouses isn’t a risk–it is smart. It needs to be intentional and part of a remote company’s talent acquisition process.

After almost two decades of navigating this life, I firmly believe that when military spouses are given the chance to thrive professionally, the whole community benefits. We strengthen our families, support our service members, and contribute to organizations in powerful and lasting ways.

Most importantly, we show the world that the military spouse community is full of talent, creativity, dedication, and heart.

If you have a chance to help your organization become more military-friendly, do it. It just takes a few small adjustments that have a huge impact for both the employer and the employee.

If you’re a military spouse looking for remote work, be strategic about what you are looking for and the skills you have. Find a job you want and hone in on the skills they are looking for. 

Lori Waddell

I am an Air Force military spouse of nearly 20 years and am currently the Studio Manager at Hart House Creative Studios. I have a strong passion for helping military spouses find a career path that aligns with their lifestyle and goals. 

For the Military Spouse Who Can’t Go Home For Christmas

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For the Military Spouse Who Can't Go Home For Christmas

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

When we first got married we decided that we would switch off each holiday. One year we would spend Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his. Then the next year we would switch.

This worked well for three years. Then we moved and my husband joined the Army and that schedule went out the window. Among other things that changed when we became a military family.

As a military spouse, you sometimes have to let go of what you thought your life would look like. And that includes how you spend your holidays. One year your spouse might be deployed, and the next you could be PCSing from one part of the country to another. Your plans have to be flexible.

This year, however, we don’t have to feel as alone. This year, during a pandemic, everyone is being told to stay put. Everyone is being told to not travel during the holidays. We aren’t the only ones having to change the way we do things during this time of year.

A little bit of the pressure you might normally feel has been lifted, at least for 2020. Maybe you were dreading the long drive back home, or maybe the cost of airline tickets was hurting your pocketbook.

There are many reasons why going home for Christmas can be hard for military families. But at least this year, staying in your own home is more normal. At least this year, it is a lot more understandable to the civilian world why you would not be traveling around the holidays.

During a normal year, you still might feel like you just want to stay in your own home. Your spouse may be deployed, and the idea of traveling across the country with three kids is just too much. You might have just moved into a new home, and want to set up there instead of leaving everything to spend the holidays in someone else’s home.

Not being able to go home for Christmas can be emotional, no matter the reason. And this year, even more so. But even if that is what you have planned to do, you can still feel a bit disappointed by it.

You might miss the way you always got together with relatives for Christmas Eve. You might miss the last-minute holiday shopping you would do with your sister, or how you would bake Christmas cookies with your grandma and cousins.

If you can’t go home for Christmas this year, know you are not alone. So many families are staying local, and not traveling. So many families are having to pivot and change the way they do the holidays.

The good news is, there are so many things you can do from your very own home. Start some new traditions and enjoy the time you have together. Make the holidays the way you want them to be, after all, you are in your own home, and you can do exactly that.

Are you overseas? Try to incorporate some of the traditions from the country you are in. You can then take them back with you when you move back to the US.

Embrace not having to travel during the busiest travel days of the year. Think about how your children will have memories of waking up in their own beds on Christmas morning. We have been doing this for years, and I LOVE that my kids will have memories of waking up in their own homes and coming downstairs to see the Christmas magic.

You can’t always go home for Christmas and that is okay. You can still have a special Christmas filled with happy memories and moments with your own family. And you might find that being in your own home is exactly where you want to be for the holiday season.

Do you usually go home for Christmas? What will you be doing this year?

You Know You Are a Military Spouse When…

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You Know You Are a Military Spouse When…

Military spouse life is a unique experience. Whether you are stationed overseas in places like Japan or Germany, stationed in the US, or as a spouse of a National Guard or Reserves member.

The military life is one filled with highs and lows, twists and turns, unexpected blessings and unfortunate disappointments.

The the truth is, as a military community we can relate to many shared experiences. Here are a few of them:

You know you are a military spouse when…

You know your spouse’s social more than your own. You hardly have to use yours.

You cringe when your spouse comes home with “news”. Is it good news or bad news or what? Just tell me!

You know you have to avoid the Commissary on paydays and yet you find yourself there anyway. Whatcha gonna do?

You have friends in Bahrain, Japan, Germany, and England. And think it would be lovely if you could visit all of them but it might never happen because you are stuck in Kentucky.

You have a radar for all things “free childcare”.

You never want to write your dates in pen because they always seem to change, especially when it comes to leave dates.

You love that there is an amazing Walt Disney World discount but you just pray leave dates don’t change so you can make the trip.

You get tired of people asking if you will be coming home for Christmas because you don’t even know where you will be stationed in December and if that would mean a three-hour car ride or $4000 in plane tickets.

You have three children and they were all born in different continents.

You dream of going to Europe but the military sent you to New York instead.

Tricare is your friend and worst enemy.

Your living room looks like camo threw up all over it when your spouse is getting ready for deployment or other trainings.

You know the care package deal like the back of your hand, and can juggle a package, a toddler, and a baby, while in line at the post office.

You have your drill weekend traditions down to a science. So much so, that when drill weekend dates change, you aren’t sure if you are happy he will be home or a little disappointed your plans will have to wait.

You move so often, you have a specific list of tasks you know you have to do, and you get started on it immediately.

A business asks you for your zip code and you have to think a minute about which one to give them.

You accidentally give the gate guard your gym membership card and have to laugh at the silly joke they make to you about it.

You spend many of your holidays with friends because traveling home with three kids is a lot when your spouse is deployed.

You know you belong to a community of other spouses that overall are willing to support you and help you on your military life journey.