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You Always Remember Your First Military Home

March 14, 2019 by Julie Leave a Comment

You Always Remember Your First Military Home

It’s been 13 years since I got on an airplane with my 18-month-old son, and really started our military journey. My husband had left for Germany 4.5 months before, and we were finally joining him.

And while I had technically been an Army Wife for the last 4.5 months, this trip would open the gate to my first experience in Army living. While I had grown up between two military bases, and I knew kids whose parents served, the military had never been my world.

And now the military was very much my world, and I was nervous.

How could I not be?

Not only were we becoming a military family, but we were doing it in a different country. I have never been to Europe before and didn’t know what to expect. Germany would be an experience.

After a full day of travel, my husband picked us up at the airport and took us to our first Army home. It was a 2 bedroom stairwell apartment, on the 3rd floor. We had Army rented furniture, with a lovely maroon pattern, and made that place a home.

We ended up living there for over two years before we moved to another duty station in Germany. That home will always have a special place in my heart. And that wasn’t because I loved that apartment.

You Always Remember Your First Military Home

The apartment was new, which was nice, and we had a washer and dryer in our bathroom, which not everyone had. But it was also on the smaller side, and when people visited, the space became way too crowded. As my 2nd son became a toddler, I had a difficult time with the idea that we had to live there.

My downstairs neighbors heard us every time we walked anywhere and with a toddler, that wasn’t fun at all. I tried to stay as quiet as possible, but toddlers.

When I was pregnant, and my husband was deployed, being on the 3rd floor made things a little tricky. Going up and down those stairs more than once a day was almost impossible. Then, when my baby came, that was an added challenge.

I had to get creative when I would come home and both of my boys would be asleep in the car. I couldn’t possibly carry both in my arms at the same time. Should I leave one in the car? Should I wake up the sleeping toddler?

Buying groceries was a challenge too so I would end up going a few times a week and just buying enough food to be able to carry in a couple of bags. That way, I didn’t have to take a full load up by myself. If only we had a grocery delivery service back then.

Our apartment was in the back of the building which meant we had a fabulous view of Germany, and I loved waking up to that. When the weather was bad, I could pretty much see the storm coming. That view was a lovely thing in the midst of a crazy time.

I got through our long 15-month deployment in this apartment. Through the days he was gone, the challenges that I dealt with, and the lonely nights.

I will never forget that place. I have heard the buildings have been torn down, so no matter what, I will never be able to see that place again. But our first military home will always be in my memories as the place I learned how to Military Spouse.

You Always Remember Your First Military Home

That home is where I lived when I met my first military spouse friends.

That home is where I wrote love letters to my husband to send to Iraq.

That home is where I learned how to stay as busy as possible, and where I realzied I was not alone in my military spouse ourney.

At the end of R&R, my husband leaned over and gave our 2.5-week-old a kiss goodbye in that apartment, not knowing he wouldn’t see him until he was almost a year old.

My husband met our son in that apartment, coming back from Iraq, three days after he was born.

As a new military spouse, I spent a full jet-lagged day, trying to figure out this new life that we had started, the day after we landed in Germany.

You Always Remember Your First Military Home

As military spouses, you will probably live in many different homes. I know some seasoned spouses who, at retirement, have lived in 20-30 different places. But, I think, no matter how many times you have moved, most people remember that first military home.

They remember what it was like to see the military movers arrive and bring all your household belongs in, praying they don’t break anything important.

They remember meeting their first military spouse neighbors and realizing how much they had in common.

They remember how it felt when they saw their spouse walking in the door in uniform, after a long day of work.

Going forward, they will probably always compare every other home with this one. They will probably think about how different that first home was from what they have now. And they might even miss the place, some more than others.

That first military home could bring up difficult memories, of times before things changed, of a former life. And for some, thinking of that home can bring up some hard to deal with emotions, and maybe just maybe they want to forget all about that place.

And for others, that home could have been the place where they discovered they were strong enough to get through anything, where they found themselves, and where they grew up and became the person they are today.

What about you? Do you remember your first military home? Do you ever miss it?

Filed Under: PCSing Tagged With: military, military housing, military spouse

6 Things You Should Remember When You Are Struggling With Military Life

March 13, 2019 by Julie 1 Comment

6 Things You Should Remember When You Are Struggling With Military Life

Sometimes, when my husband is gone, or even if he is home, the stress overwhelms me. I find myself in a place I don’t want to be in. There is too much going on, too much to think about, and my emotions are all over the place. I end up in a bit of a funk and feel like I am on the struggle bus.

But…

In those times, there are things I have to tell myself, things I have to remind myself of, and doing so puts me in a much better place. If you have ever felt like you are struggling with military life, you know what I am talking about.

You know that you can’t snap your fingers and have a deployment go away. You know you married a military service member and with that comes military life. But what you really want is to get to a better emotional place.

Here are six things to remember when you are struggling with military life:

Everything changes

No matter what you are going through, remember everything changes. Whether you are going through a deployment, waiting on a PCS, or just struggling through something, things will change, as they always do.

Change can be difficult, you might not want to move, you might not want the deployment to start, but change happens and we just have to go with it, knowing that eventually, things will get to a better place.

Some days I might be feeling down because I simply can’t make a decision on something important. I hate that. But I have to remind myself that time can make things a little more clear. And if it isn’t something I have to decide ASAP, I can give myself time to figure it out.

You have been through hard stuff before

Here’s the deal. You have been through hard stuff before. You have. Maybe you haven’t ever been through a deployment before, maybe this is the first time you have ever moved, but life in general can bring difficult situations, and you have been able to get through those in the past.

Maybe it was messy. Maybe you felt defeated. But you got through to the other side. Remember that.

You will grow through this

We always grow through our struggles, even if we can’t see that at the time. Journaling during your struggles can help, talking with a good trustworthy friend can help, and thinking about how you have changed for the better through it all can help.

And as you grow as a person, you can help others too. You might find yourself in a situation in the future where you can be there for someone going through what you are going through right now. We as humans can help one another out, simply because we have been there before.

Don’t take on other’s stress

One thing you don’t want to do is take on someone else’s stress. People do stress about all types of things and it can be easy to feel overwhelmed by all of that, epecually when you see it all the time on social media.

Try not to take on other people’s stress and focus on what you need to focus on. Think about what is best for you and your family. Don’t worry about things that don’t have to do with your current situation and you will be better for it.

Don’t forget to breathe

I know, easier said than done. But give yourself time to breathe. We say it is best to stay busy during a deployment, and it is. But if you are too busy, you could end up stressing yourself out even more.

Try to find that balance and give yourself a break. If you feel like you are doing too much, you migjt be. It’s okay to take a step back and breathe. You don’t have to say yes to everything. And if being too busy is the reason for your stress, take a step back to find some peace.

Count your blessings

Sometimes we really just have to take a step back and count our blessings. Living without your spouse for months at a time is not an easy thing to do. Having to say goodbye to friends and family all the time can be heartbreaking. Military life isn’t an easy life, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be thankful for the great things that are true about our lives.

Thinking about what we do have can help. Yes, your husband might be deployed for six months, but he does love and care about you and your kids. Yes, you do have to move again but now you have a new state to explore. Yes, military life brings on a lot of stress but you have meet some amazing people to walk through this life with.

There will probably come a time when you do struggle with military life. Things are not adding up the way you want them to. You are feeling frustrated because you can do what you are wanting to do.

And that’s hard.

But, if you are married to a service member, you can’t easily just walk away from military life, and so you need to figure out how to get through these feelings and get to a better place emotionally. And once you find ways to do that, military life will seem a little more manageable and you will feel like you can get through so much of what this life brings.

What do you do when you feel like you are struggling with military life???

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military, military life, military spouse

9 Things You Wish Were True About Military Life

February 18, 2019 by Julie 1 Comment

9 Things You Wish Were True About Military Life

Military life can be a crazy ride. From deployments to PCSing every few years, this life isn’t without its struggles. Some days we wish we had a magic wand to make everything a little easier.

So let’s have some fun…here are 9 things you wish were true about military life:

  • That every deployment came with a nanny

Let’s face it, us military spouses can get burned out really quickly when it comes to solo parenting. What if every military family received a nanny with deployment orders? That would make life so much easier!

  • That you could use a “Get out of deployment free” card

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could get out of a deployment because it wasn’t the right time, or your kids were too young, or because you just didn’t think you could handle another deployment with everything going on? The reality is, there is never a good time for a deployment but we plow through anyway.

  • That you could PCS somewhere simply because your BFF did

Wouldn’t that be amazing? Your BFF went to Fort Carson, that means you get to go there too. How fun would that be?

  • That ALL military housing was nice, safe, and you wanted to live in it

Unfortunately not all military housing is created equal. And sometimes housing can make people sick. Wouldn’t it be nice if all military housing were up to code, was nice and safe, and allowed everyone who lived there to have a good home they enjoyed living in?

  • That your spouse could get leave when they needed to, and planning family vacations would be easier

Have you ever had to change the dates of a trip because of the Army? We sure have. If only leave dates could be taken at the perfect time, and could never be changed.

  • That every FRG meeting would be filled with information you need to know with zero drama

Some FRGs are amazing but a lot of them get a bad rap, and maybe for good reason. Wouldn’t it be nice if the FRG was always a fun place to go, with lots of great information, and without any drama? Maybe us military spouses do have the power to change the FRG into a good and helpful place for military spouses to go 🙂

  • That you could always shop at the Commissary on payday without the crowds

What if you never had to wait more than a few minutes, even if you do go to the Commissary on payday? That would be nice!

  • That it would be easy to make friends no matter where you go

Making friends during military life can be a little bit frustrating sometimes. Yes, you have to get out there but sometimes that isn’t enough. What if making friends was easy, no matter who you are, and where your PCS to?

  • That all the challenges when it comes to military spouse employment would go away

There are so many spouses that have to put their career on hold or had to pursue something different because they are married to someone in the military. What if these challenges could go away? What if things were a little bit easier when it comes to a military spouse and their own career?

This list can be a lot of fun, and hopefully made you laugh a little but the reality is, there are things you can do to change and make military life a little better for your family and others.

Be kind. Make friends. Work for changes. And don’t be afraid to figure out a way to make things a little better for everyone.

What about you? What would you want to change if you had the power to do so?

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military, military life, military spouse

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

November 8, 2018 by Julie

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

Today is Veterans Day! A day to honor those who have served, whether they did so years before you were born, or doing so now. And every year, you might wonder the best way to honor the veterans in your life.

Maybe you are married to a veteran, maybe your dad or mom or a grandparent or someone else in your family has served. Maybe you just want to give back to the veteran and military community as a whole.

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

Here are some things you can do to really support a veteran this Veterans Day:

Listen to their stories

Listening to the stories of our veterans is important. Whether they are talking about their time in Vietnam, or about their last tour of Iraq. Read books written by veterans about what they have been through and what they have learned through the years. Hear what they have to say, and carry their words with you.

Offer them a discount

If you have a business, offer them a discount. If you own a restaurant, offer them a free meal on veterans day if you are able to. Even a 10% discount is a nice way to thank them for serving. And let people know you do offer this discount.

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

Vote with them in mind

No matter what side you are on, vote for veterans in mind. Think about the different policies that might support or hurt veterans. What will help them the most? Check and see if those who are running are veterans and what they have to offer your community.

Simply thank them

A simple thank you can go a long way. A thank you says that you notice them and that you care. And it won’t cost you anything to do so.

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

Support veteran-owned businesses

Support veteran-owned businesses when you can. Many veterans might start a business after they get out of the military. Learn about local veteran-owned businesses in your community. Shop local veteran-owned businesses when you can and share about what they have to offer for others to see.

Donate to help veterans

If you can, donate to help veterans in your area. Even if you don’t have a ton to give, every little bit counts. Organizations like Disabled American Veterans (DAV,)Blue Star Families, The Gary Sinise Foundation, Hope for the Warriors, and Operation Homefront are great places to start.

Volunteer to help veterans

There are so many places you can volunteer to help veterans. Most organizations that help veterans could use volunteers whether it is helping them serve a meal, decorate for a holiday party, sort clothing, or even donate items in need. See what is available in your local community and don’t be afraid to step up and offer some help.

This veterans day, think of all of those who have served. Those who have done so through peacetime, as well as wartime. Those who did so before 9/11 and those who did so after. Those who have signed up for 20+ years, and those who only served for a couple.

Thank you to those who have served our country, we are forever grateful.

What is your favorite way to support veterans?

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military, Veterans, Veterans Day

Mission BBQ and Giving Back to the Military Community

April 13, 2018 by Julie

Mission BBQ and Giving Back to the Military Community

Mission BBQ and Giving Back to the Military Community

Have you heard of the restaurant, Mission BBQ? We just got one here in the Fort Campbell area last year and I was excited to try their yummy food. I have heard such good things about them over the years. As I walked in the first thing I noticed was their decor. On the wall was everything you can imagine honoring the military as well as others who serve their community.

Mission BBQ and Giving Back to the Military Community

I ordered the pulled pork sandwich and enjoyed my meal immensely.

Mission BBQ first opened on September 11, 2011, by two friends who were passionate about BBQ, being patriotic, and running a business with meaning and purpose.

This from their, “Our Story” section of their website says it all:

“We believe there is nothing more American than BBQ. Andnobodymore American than the brave men and women who have sworn to protect and serve Our Communities and Our Country. We do what we do for the love of our soldiers, firefighters, police officers, first responders—all our loved ones in service.”

Mission BBQ and Giving Back to the Military Community

When you go to a Mission BBQ, you can have a good meal, in a patriotic dining room. If you happen to be there at noon, you can be apart of the daily salute to our country as everyone stops to sing the National Anthem.

There are quite a few choices of what to eat when you go to Mission BBQ. You can enjoy brisket, pulled pork, turkey, pulled chicken, sausage, sides, and more. They even have a kid’s menu for the younger ones.

Mission BBQ and Giving Back to the Military Community

You can also get food delivered to parties of five or more and can find Mission BBQ in 13 states at the moment.

Mission BBQ is also known for giving back to their communities which is such a nice thing to hear these days. They have military appreciation nights where all the sales from the night are donated to a variety of organizations. These have been organizations such as the USO, the Navy Seal Foundation, and Wreaths Across America.

They truly give back to the military community!

Have you ever been to a Mission BBQ? You can search for one near you and plan to visit as soon as you can 🙂

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military, Military Support, Mission BBQ

Don’t Miss The Costco Military Hour Event On March 24th

March 2, 2018 by Julie

Don’t Miss The Costco Military Hour Event On March 24th

This is a sponsored post!

Raise your hand if you like Costco? I know I do! Costco was one of the places we had to go when we visited home while living in Germany. You can always find something fun to buy and you gotta love the free samples.

I wanted to let you guys know about the Costco Military Hour event coming up March 24th from 8 am to 9:30 am!

What is Costco Military Hour?

The Military Hour is for you and your family to shop together before the doors open to the general public. You will be able to mix and mingle with your local military community, enjoy free samples, exciting product demos, and delicious snacks. The first 100 attendees will receive swag bags filled with goodies!

Sound like fun?

You will need to be a Costco member to attend but if not, no worries.

You can purchase your Costco Membership Activation Certificate today at this linkhttps://hosted-pages.id.me/costcomilitaryhour‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌ Take advantage of an exclusive new membership offer for military members who join Costco as new members.

This event will take place at 117 of the warehouses across the U.S. You will need your military ID or your registration confirmation to show at the door at the selected Costco location.

Please visithttps://shophourevent.com/to RSVP to a location near you.‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Filed Under: Military Life, Sponsored Post Tagged With: Costco, military, military life

Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

January 26, 2018 by Julie

Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

I have been a member of the military community and been living the military spouse life for about 12.5 years now. During that time I have met so many military spouses. Both in person and online.

I can’t help but look back over the years and the people I have met. How some of them have this military life down pat and others struggle a little bit more. My heart is with the military community and will always be, no matter how many years take me away from my personal experience with this life.

Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

From when their spouse first leaves for boot camp until they try to make their way through the transition back to civilian life, we military spouses have to go through situations that others do not.

We put our spouse on an airplane and send them off to one of the most dangerous places in the world. We do this holding the hands of our children that don’t quite understand why Daddy has to be away for so long. We do this knowing they have a dangerous job and they might not come back. We do this because deep down we know that support our spouse is what we must do, through this crazy military life.

We, military spouses, make friends with people from all over the country and the world. We might be coming from different places with different backgrounds but we have one thing in common, the love of our service member and the desire to support them throughout their career. I might have grown up in California and you might have grown up in Alaska but we can bond over our love of books and the craziness of raising children in the military world.

We, military spouses, might have to move to the middle of nowhere, away from anything we have ever known.

We might have to give up our own career, even if just for a few years. We might feel a bit lost not knowing what we should be focusing on during this time of our lives. But this just gives us a reason to think outside the box and figure out a way to make our dreams come true, even within the military lifestyle.

We, military spouses, have to learn how to adjust even when we really don’t want to. We might love where we are stationed and then one day our spouse comes home and tells us we are moving to the other side of the country, in a place we never wanted to go. We have to bloom where we are stationed but sometimes that is easier than others, especially if there is a beach nearby.

Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

We, military spouses, get to go places and see things we would never have had our spouse never joined the military.

I have a child that was born in Germany! Another country! Sometimes I think about that and take a step back in this crazy life that we made just because of my husband enlisted one day in 2005.

We, military spouses, have seen hardships. We have seen friends lose their husbands, either to war or years later to something else. We have seen marriages that seemed so strong fall apart.

We, military spouses, have seen our own husbands act differently than we ever thought they would. The fact is, war changes people and when your husband has been to war, he will change. Some service members handle these changes better than others. Some don’t handle them at all.

And yet, the military spouse tries her best to support her spousethrough everything, even as things do not go as planned.

When I meet new military spouses, I want to hug them. And I am not a big hugger. I want to let them know that this life they started is going to be a crazy one but in a lot of ways, it will also be a good one.

They might not be the same person five or ten years from now but because of this crazy military life they will grow and will most likely become a better person through everything they have to deal with. That this military life will not always be easy, that they might cry a lot and that friends will come and go. That their faith will be shaken and made stronger. That their ideas about marriage and even motherhood will be shaken to the core.

Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

If you are a new military spouse, know that you are now apart of a strong community that wants to help you through what you will encounter in the years to come. If you are not such a new military spouse, know that what you have been through has made you stronger and will allow you to help others in the future. Don’t be afraid to share your stories and your experiences, they can help.

As you are living your military spouse life, take it one day at a time if you need to. And remember, you are stronger than you think.

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military, military life, military spouse

Can Anyone Make it as a Military Spouse?

January 8, 2018 by Julie

Can Anyone Make it as a Military Spouse?

I have often believed that no matter who you are, where you came from, as long as you love your service member, you can get through anything. When my civilian friends tell me they could never do what I do, I want to tell them they could if they had married a service member too.

There have even been times in the past, before my husband joined the military, when I didn’t think I could do it either.

But, can anyone really be a military spouse? Can anyone who marries someone who serves figure out a way to make this work?

When most people get married, they assume they will be married until death do us part. Who wants to go into a marriage with divorce as the goal? But the truth is, not all marriages last, and not all marriages can survive the military.

Can anyone make it as a military spouse? That depends.

Some people can get through anything the military life brings them. This should be the goal. Working through the stressful situations, working on their marriage, and trying to figure out a way to get through it all.

Some military spouses married their service member years before they joined up. In these cases, life gets thrown entirely on its head when they join. Everything changes and that can be such an adjustment for the service member, military spouse, and children.

For others, marrying the love of their life meant becoming a military spouse on their wedding day, unsure of the adventures, or struggles they might run into in the future. Their new marriage is thrown together with the newness of military life.

In either case, the military spouse can feel like her world is falling apart, that they can’t make it through that deployment, that they are not quite cut out for this life.

I have felt this way myself. I would get to a place where I just didn’t see how I could keep doing this. Where everything was a little too much. Where I didn’t want to do the military life anymore.

But then, I remembered that I did indeed marry a soldier, even if he wasn’t actively serving at the time. I reminded myself that this is a part of who my husband is and that in the end, I can stand by him through whatever I need to. That my love for him and my want for us to be together will be more important than any lonely night or hardship the military comes my way.

That being said, this isn’t the case for everyone.

For some, this life isn’t something they can keep doing. They hit a wall for whatever reason. Sometimes they hit this wall because there has been betrayal in the marriage. Can you truly trust someone across the miles when they have cheated before? Sometimes there is abuse, or the couple cannot work out their difficulties.

The truth is, we don’t always know what other people are going through, we don’t know what happens in their marriage, and we don’t know what they have been through in the past. Compassion is a must.

While going into this life believing you can make it through is a must, know that if you were not able to, that if things did get too difficult, that if you are no longer a military spouse, that you have a right to do what is best for you. That you did what you could, and that no one should be judging you for doing what is best for your own family.

What do you think? Can anyone make it as a military spouse?

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military, military life, military spouse

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About Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I have been a military spouse for 17 years!

My husband of 20+ years has served in the active-duty Army and now the Army National Guard. We have lived in Germany & Tennessee during our time as a military family.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, PCS moves, or anything else military life brings you🙂

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