Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

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7 Fantastic Ways to Use Social Media to Help You Improve Your Military Spouse Life

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Oh, social media. We love social media, but we hate social media. Between Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, it can feel like we are always “on” to the world. And that can be a bit overwhelming and quickly take over our lives. However, when social media is used as a tool, the platforms can be a great way to improve our lives as military spouses.

Military spouses move often and meet new people all the time. We make a lot of connections, but we don’t always get to live near them, or if we do, it is for a limited amount of time. Social media allows us to stay connected in ways we might not otherwise be able to. Social media can also give us access to resources and people we might not otherwise have been able to connect to.

When you first become a military spouse, this life can be overwhelming. You can use social media to help you in your military spouse life. Here are 7 ways to do so:

Stay connected to friends

My first experience with social media was with Myspace. Remember Tom and how you could pick your top 8? Talk about pressure! Back then, we military spouses would connect on Myspace, share photos from the day, and figure out the best music to describe precisely what we felt.

These days, we are all on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. And while these platforms are all different than Myspace ever was, we can still stay connected to our friends using them. When we meet someone new, get to know them, and want to connect, adding one another on social media seems like the best thing to do.

By doing so, we are always connected. And when those PCS orders come, we can still stay connected, no matter where military life might take us.

Asian woman looking at her phone

Stay connected to family

One of the hardest parts of military life can be having to live so far away from family. We don’t get to see them regularly and have to stay in touch over the miles. Social media can be a great way to do this. One of the accounts I set up for myself is a private Instagram account where I am connected to my closest friends and family. This makes sharing photos and what we are doing with a select few easy and helps our families stay connected.

Join a local group

When you first get those PCS orders, and they seem like they are pretty much going to stick, you probably want to start joining local groups for your new area. Doing so allows you to ask questions, get to know what is happening in that area, and give you a running start into your new community.

Learn about resources

There are so many military spouse resources out there, from blogs like this one to organizations like Military OneSource. And all of them have social media accounts. Connect with these military spouse resources over social media, and you will have access to all these resources, from advice about deployments to help finding a new job.

Find out about military spouse talk shows and podcasts

Did you know there is a military spouse talk show out there? MilSpouse Conversations is a diverse panel of military spouses who talk about…well, everything, from PCSing to parenting to all the things that are important to you! Follow MilSpouse Conversations on social!

You can also find other military spouse podcasts like MilSpouse Matters and The Spouse Angle. Podcasts are easy to listen to and can bring you a wealth of information, tips, and resources for your military spouse life.

Find out about events in your community

One of the best tips I can give any military spouse in this life is to make sure you find things you love to do and stay busy. Not having enough to do causes boredom, and that’s when life can get a little more difficult. One of the best ways to find things to do is to find out what events are going on in your own community.

I am in the Fort Campbell area, so if I follow the pages for the local city of Clarksville, Fort Campbell MWR, and other local pages and groups, I will have a steady stream of events in my feed. This gives me lots of options to fill out my calendar.

Entertainment

Let’s face it: there is a lot of entertainment on social media. You can find videos on every topic these days. From your favorite TV show, I think I am on Outlander TikTok, to what you like to read or where you like to travel. Be aware of how much time you are on social media, and enjoy what it has to offer.

Social media is a tool, and we can use it to improve our lives whether we are brand new to this life or are a seasoned spouse.

What are your favorite ways to use social media as a military spouse?

7 Fantastic Ways to Use Social Media to Help You Improve Your Military Spouse Life

5 Things to Remember If Your Spouse is Deployed Over Christmas

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5 Things to Remember If Your Spouse is Deployed Over Christmas

The holiday season is here and Christmas is around the corner. Are you ready? I am not, I still have so much to do. But as I am getting everything ready for this year, I am reminded of a Christmas quite a few years ago.

My husband had left for Iraq at the end of November, on Thanksgiving Day of all days. Thanks, Army!

He had been gone about a month before Christmas Day, and there was no chance he would have R&R that early, back in the days of a regular old R&R in the middle of a deployment.

As the day got closer, I knew we would have to do something to help us enjoy this holiday. I couldn’t just spend it watching movies and hiding under the covers, my boys were only two and four years old.

That’s why I made plans with my friend and her kids. We decided to have our own little Christmas morning and then get together for the Christmas meal. We split up the food, and sometime in the afternoon, we headed over to her house to celebrate.

I had such a good time that morning with my little boys. I filmed them opening their gifts to send to their dad and enjoyed watching them enjoy the Christmas magic.

Then we got dressed and spent the rest of the day with friends and their kids. I still think back to that Christmas all these years later. It will always stick with me. While my husband was away, I don’t remember being too sad that day.

I do remember the joy of my kids that morning. I do remember the fun times I had with my friend. I do remember the feeling of peace and knowing I could get through whatever this deployment was going to bring.

If you are getting ready for a Christmas with a deployed spouse, please remember these 5 things. And have a wonderful holiday season:

You can still have a good time

I know it might seem that you will be sad and gloomy all of Christmas Day but it doesn’t have to be that way. What makes you happy? What makes your kids happy? Think about what would make for a good Christmas Day and plan for that.

You don’t have to go home

When your spouse is deployed, your family is going to expect to have you home with them for the holidays. Why would you even think about staying where you are? Well, there are a lot of reasons to do so.

While being with family might be what you need, you don’t have to feel pressured to go if you don’t feel like going. Maybe the cost of the plane tickets is too much. Maybe the thought of flying across the country with two toddlers by yourself is too much. Maybe you just want to be in your own home.

You can make memories with friends

You can turn this Christmas into a time to spend with friends. If you are at a military duty station, most likely, you know others with a deployed spouse over Christmas. Why not make plans to get together?

If you aren’t, reach out to your friend circle and see if anyone else might need the company over the holiday. There are other reasons why a spouse might not be home for Christmas.

You don’t have to spend the entire holiday together. That can be too much for some people, I know it probably would for me. But having Christmas dinner or even just dessert can make for a nice treat during the day. And there are always memories to be made.

You can celebrate again later

If your spouse missing out on Christmas is really bothering you, why not plan a mini-Christmas when they get home? This is your family, you can do what you want.

Maybe they won’t be home until April? Who cares? Have a mini Christmas once they get home, and enjoy the time together no matter what you decide to do.

You are not alone

Remember, you are not the only military spouse without their husband or wife by their side this Christmas. So many of us have been through this, even if we are not going through it this year.

We have figured out ways to make it through and you will too. We have found joy in the season, even when we are sad. We figure out ways to get through and have a wonderful Christmas anyway.

If your spouse is deployed over the holidays, what have you done to make things a little easier for yourself?

Don’t forget to check out The Newbie’s Guide to Military Life: Surviving a PCS and More by Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life and Mrs Navy Mama. Your guide for learning about military life.

What Military Spouses Should Know About MyCAA in 2025

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You have been a military spouse for a few years now, and you are thinking of going back to school. MyCAA can be a great way to do it. MyCAA is an excellent scholarship program for military spouses who do want to go to school. There have been some recent updates to the program, which help include more military spouses than they did before. Here is what you need to know about the program:

So, What Exactly is MyCAA?

MyCAA stands for “My Career Advancement Account Scholarship.” It is a workforce development program for eligible military spouses so they can work on getting a license, certification, or associate degree or for continuing education courses to maintain a license or certification necessary for employment. The program is a part of the Defense Department Spouse Education Career Opportunities Program.

Who is Eligible For MyCAA?

  • Military spouses of active duty service members, as well as spouses of National Guard and Reserve service members that are on Title 10 orders, qualify for the program.
  • The service member needs to be E-1 through E-9, W-1 through W-3, or O-1 through O-3.
  • Spouses will also need to have their high school degree or GED.
  • If your spouse does get promoted past the eligible ranks, you can continue your approved education and training program.

How Much Does MyCAA Pay For?

  • MyCAA provides a maximum tuition benefit of $4,000 with an annual fiscal cap of $2,000 for eligible military spouses who need professional credentials to meet their career goals.
  • MyCAA pays for tuition and testing fees.

Is There a Time Limit To Use MyCAA?

Yes, there is a three-year time limit for using your funding. The beginning of those three years is the start date of the first course that you are taking.

What Else Do I Need to Know?

Even if you are unsure of what you want to do or unsure of what you want to study, checking out this military spouse scholarship program would be a great idea. It’s an amazing benefit for military spouses.

What Military Spouses Should Know About MyCAA in 2025

Bring Home a Jack Daniel’s Barrel to Support Military Families This Holiday Season Through “Operation Ride Home”

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Bring Home a Jack Daniel’s Barrel to Support Military Families This Holiday Season Through “Operation Ride Home”

Barrels from Ten “Barrel Trees” Nationwide Available to Purchase Now to Fund Holiday Travel for Junior-Enlisted Service Members and Their Families 

Lynchburg, TN (December 2, 2024) – The season just got a little brighter for the nation’s military community with the launch of Jack Daniel’s annual “Barrel Tree” sale, which will help junior-enlisted service members and their families travel home for the holidays.

Barrels from each of the 10 Jack Daniel’s “Barrel Trees” currently on display across the country are now available for $200 each at operationridehome.com. Proceeds benefit the “Operation Ride Home” program in partnership with the Armed Services YMCA (ASYMCA), which has helped nearly 13,000 individuals travel home and raised close to $3 million since 2011. Service members from the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, Space Force, and Coast Guard have received travel assistance to all 50 states.

“Our whiskey barrels have always had a special role to play, and during the holiday season, they take on an even greater purpose—bringing military families together,” said Chris Fletcher, Jack Daniel’s Master Distiller. “We hope our friends will purchase a barrel to help service members create cherished memories with their loved ones. It’s an opportunity to honor their sacrifices and make this season even more meaningful for the families.”

Jack Daniel’s first built its iconic 26-foot-tall “Barrel Tree” in 2011 in Lynchburg, TN, using 140 American white oak whiskey barrels to bring festive cheer to the community. This year, that tree and nine others are lighting up cities across the country, including: Nashville, TN; Tampa, FL; San Antonio, TX; Washington, D.C.; New Brunswick, NJ; New York, NY; San Francisco, CA; and Venice, CA. Each charred oak barrel used to build the trees once matured Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey to perfection.

To purchase a barrel and support military families this holiday season, visit operationridehome.com.

About Jack Daniel’s:

Officially registered by the U.S. Government in 1866 and based in Lynchburg, Tenn., the Jack Daniel Distillery is the first registered distillery in the United States and is on the National Register of Historic Places. Jack Daniel’s is the maker of the world-famous Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7 Tennessee Whiskey, Gentleman Jack Double Mellowed Tennessee Whiskey, Jack Daniel’s Single Barrel Tennessee Whiskey, Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey, Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Fire, Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Apple, Jack Daniel’s Bonded, Jack Daniel’s Sinatra Select and Jack Daniel’s Country Cocktails. Today, Jack Daniel’s is a true global icon found in more than 170 countries around the world and is the most valuable spirits brand in the world as recognized by Interbrand.

Please Drink Responsibly.

Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey, 40% alc. by vol. Jack Daniel Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee. JACK DANIEL’S is a registered trademark. ©2024 Jack Daniel’s. All rights reserved.

About the Armed Services YMCA:

The Armed Services YMCA (ASYMCA) is the oldest military support organization in the United States, founded in 1861. The ASYMCA’s mission enhances the lives of active-duty junior-enlisted military members and their families in spirit, mind and body through programs relevant to the unique challenges of military life. In 2023, the ASYMCA engaged more than 291,000 military families and delivered more than 1.2 million points of service through its 12 Branches and 24 Affiliate Partners, serving more than 96 military installations across the U.S. To learn more about how the ASYMCA is “Strengthening Our Military Family,” visit www.asymca.org.

The First Night After the Deployment is Over

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You have waited for months and months, and the day is finally here.

Homecoming…

The deployment is over, and you will get your spouse back…after so much time apart.

If you have never been through a deployment or homecoming before, you might be asking yourself how that first night will go after the deployment is over. For months now, you have joked with your friends about how that will be and how exciting having your spouse back in your arms again will feel. You have some idea of how things will go, but you still might not really be sure.

What if he is different?

What if she is simply too tired?

What if both of us have changed too much?

And as the day to homecoming draws near, this might be something you worry about. And that is natural, especially if your service member has been gone for a while. You don’t know what to expect or what that first night home after the deployment is over will be like.

Here are a few things to think about as your homecoming day approaches:

Talk about expectations

One thing you can do before the deployment is over is talk about your expectations for that first night. Find out what both of you are expecting and go from there. You can get on the same page about that first night before they even board a plane.

Everyone is different. After a deployment, what works for my husband and me might not work for you and your spouse. Talking about this isn’t going to hurt anything and can save you from hurt feelings and disappointment once the deployment is over.

Give them space

You might need to give your spouse some space. Think about how they have been in a war zone with their battle buddies for all these months, and now they are returning home. Things will be very strange for them, and they might need to adjust.

Your soldier or other service member might not want to come home to a long to-do list. There will be time to get back into normal life later. And that might depend on your spouse’s personality and how the deployment went for them.

Enjoy each other

If the mood is right, have fun with your spouse. Get to know yourselves intimately again. Being together might probably feel strange right at first; you might be nervous too, but that is okay.

A lot of couples decide to try for a baby right after a deployment, if this what you want to do, make sure you talk about your plans before they get home. That way, you are on the same page, and there will be no surprises that first night.

Plan for the kids and other family members

If you have children, have a plan for what you will do as a family after your spouse is home. Will you all go out to dinner? Have a nice meal at home? Make plans to see other family?

Most spouses want to bring their kids to the homecoming ceremony, but some like to see their spouse first and have the kids see them the next day. Do what feels right for your family. Sometimes, homecoming ceremonies can be in the middle of the night, and not every child can handle that. Sometimes, a fun surprise with the kids the next day can be just as amazing.

In addition to the kids, you might run into other family members who want to see your spouse too. This can be tricky because you will want your spouse to yourself. Make sure expectations are talked about before homecoming. Things can get heated when you have planned a romantic dinner at home, but your mother-in-law has invited 50 people to her house for a welcome home dinner.

Post Deployment Resources

The reintegration period isn’t always roses and sunshine. This can be difficult for both the service member and military spouse. If you or your service member are struggling, here are some resources for you to help get to a better place.

If you are going through a deployment now or will be soon, make sure to visit the surviving deployment section on my blog for more posts to help you through.

The First Night After the Deployment is Over

On the Other Side of Service

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It’s been 19 years since my husband re-joined the Army, and we were sent to Germany for four years. 18 years since I joined him, and he was deployed to Iraq for the first time. 10 years since we went from Army active duty to National Guard, and 10 months since he officially retired from the military. And this side of it feels a little bit normal and a little bit weird.

There was a time during his military service when I felt he was never home. There was always a long deployment, a training, or a monthly drill sending him away. He was always going to miss something. Big things like the birth of our second child or little things like a fun event at church. And everything in between.

There Are Huge Spaces in My Scrapbook Where He is Missing

There are huge spaces in my scrapbook where he is simply missing, and at times, it never felt like we would get to the point where we are today. A time when he would never go away. When he would never have to. When the military didn’t have a say. 

It’s been 10 months since his last drill. Last year, during his December drill, a tornado ripped through our city. I will never forget that. 

After 10 years of drill weekends, I developed a bit of a routine. There were lots of movies and TV shows he wouldn’t be interested in, Chinese food, and decluttering sessions. And now all that is over. He is home with us every weekend.

He Was Gone For So Much of My Children’s Younger Years

He was gone for so much of my children’s younger years. Birthdays, first steps, special needs diagnosis, vacations, and day-to-day life. 

But now he is here for all of it. All the big things and the little ones. 

As he retired from the National Guard, we didn’t have to think about where we would move. However, I hope we can eventually find a new place to call home. Since we were not day-to-day Army, that transition wasn’t as encompassing.

There Are Things I Am Getting Used In This New Normal

But beyond him going away for drill and other duties, there are a few other things I am getting used to.

Whenever we planned a trip, either as a family or solo, I always worried that something would come up and make us cancel. Like it did in 2020. Now, I no longer have that worry, and it’s hard to wrap my mind around. 

I sometimes miss being an Army wife and being in that community, but some of that has more to do with working full-time hours and my age. Still, I do feel disconnected from a community that was so much in my life for so many years.

Life Goes On, Seasons Change

But like anything else, life goes on. Seasons change, and things are different from how they used to be. Here, on the other side of military life, we are finding our new normal as husband and wife and family.

The me of 15 years ago dreamed of the day I would no longer have to miss my husband. That I would no longer fear so much for his safety. That I would no longer worry when the next deployment would hit or how I would get through it. And now here we are. On the other side of service. 

Are you a veteran spouse too? What has been the biggest adjustment?

On the other side of service

Did You Know About These TRICARE Changes Coming in 2025?

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Did You Know About These TRICARE Changes Coming in 2025?

TRICARE changes are coming in 2025. Are you ready?

TRICARE is the healthcare program of the American military. And in 2025, TRICARE is making some significant changes that could affect you.

TRICARE in the US is divided into regions based on where you live. You will be in either TRICARE West or TRICARE East. This is where there are changes.

#1 Since each region has its own contractor, TriWest Healthcare Alliance will replace Health Net Federal Services, LLC in TRICARE West. Humana Military will stay the contractor in TRICARE East.

#2 Six states will be changing to TRICARE West. Those states are Arkansas, Illinois, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Texas, and Wisconsin. If you are in any of those states, you will be moving from TRICARE East to TRICARE West.

The new contracts should begin January 1st, 2025.

What should you do to get ready for the TRICARE changes?

  • Make sure your information is updated in DEERS,
  • If you are in TRICARE West and make payments, make sure you update them to TriWest before or during Open Season.
  • If you are in any of the changing states, you will also need to make sure to change your payments to TriWest.
  • Make sure your providers are in-network for 2025.

Remember, too, that TRICARE’s Open Season is November 11th through December 10th, 2024. You can also visit the TRICARE website for more information on these changes or TRICARE information in general.

As a military spouse, it is always important to know your military benefits, including TRICARE. Know what type of TRICARE you have, what region you are in, and how much you may need to pay each month. TRICARE may cover certain items you are not aware of or may make changes that you need to know about. Be informed!

Going through a deployment? Looking for support? Check out my Deployment blog post section for posts all about getting through a deployment.

When Your Boyfriend Wants to Join the Military

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What You Should Do When Your Boyfriend Wants to Join the Military

So your boyfriend wants to join the military? What will that mean for your relationship?

You two have been dating for a few months, and everything seems good. You are falling for one another hard. But you have plans. You are going to graduate college and then try to find a job in your field. You hope that things keep going well for you and your boyfriend but you waiting to see how it goes. But then, one day, he says he needs to talk to you about something important.

He sits you down and says, “Babe, I think I want to join the military.”

You have been single for a while; then your friend introduces the two of you. You hit it off, and before you know it, you are on date number three. But then, he lets you know that next year he will be joining the Army.

You and your boyfriend just started your senior year; you have been together since you were 15 years old. You want to marry him. As you are figuring out what you will do after high school, he tells you he wants to sign up for the Air Force.

Any of these situations sound familiar? While there are many different ways to become a military spouse, hearing your boyfriend talk about enlisting in the military is the first step to one of them. If this is you, you might be a bit confused, a bit terrified, and a bit unsure of what you should do.

You want to support the man you love, but what does this mean for your future together?

Breathe

The first thing you want to do when your boyfriend tells you he wants to join the military is to take a deep breath. This doesn’t have to mean the end of you two. In fact, joining the military could be a very good thing.

Try not to jump to conclusions quite yet. You need to figure out his plan first. You need some time to think about if this is what you want for your future too.

Find out what his plan is

Talk to your boyfriend about what their plan is. How long do they want to serve for? Do they just want to do so for a few years? Is this going to be a 20-year commitment? When will they leave? Do they know that yet?

Knowing what your boyfriend wants will help you understand what his decision will mean for you. You will be able to plan your future. You will be able to start picturing yourself in his life after he joins. And you need to try to do that to decide if this life is right for you too.

Are you committed? 

This is a difficult question. You might love this man, but you might not want to commit to this life. This happens sometimes, and it isn’t even unique to military relationships. Sometimes a couple can’t make things work because life takes you in different directions.

As his girlfriend, you should take things slow. Are you committed to being in a long-distance relationship with him? Can you be supportive of his decision or will you give him grief about it along the way? If this is what he wants to do for the next 20 years, would you be able to handle life as a military spouse if your relationship later led to marriage?

Take the long road or not

Make sure you two talk about what the decision to join the military means for your relationship. Find out what your boyfriend wants and what he is expecting. Talk about how important it is for you two to stay together through this.

For some, the decision to join the military will be too much, for others joining the military will mean new adventures that they will be able to navigate. If you talk to any military spouse, you will find that almost every single one of them has worried about how they will handle this life. But in the end, they do, because they love and support the person they are married to.

As a girlfriend, you have more choices before you head down the military life road. If you truly don’t think you can commit to this person, don’t. Because really, that is what it comes down to. Can you commit to a deeper relationship with the person you are currently dating? Some people can; some people can’t.

With any relationship, there will be times when you have to compromise. Being with a service member means you will have to do that often. Can you handle that?

What advice would you give to someone whose boyfriend wants to join the military?