Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

Celebrating Anniversaries

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Celebrating Anniversaries

Today is our 13th anniversary. 13 years with my husband. 7 homes, 3 kids, 1 dog and lots of memories made along the way. We try to do something special for every anniversary but when you have little kids, it can be a little difficult, especially when you don’t always have a good babysitter. Some years we have been able to go on a trip. Others we have only been able to go out to dinner. And some we have celebrated at home. It really just depends on what is going on, our budget and all of that. No matter what, it is a special day.

Even though he has been in the Military for a while, we have only really missed two anniversaries together. I know how lucky that it. I know others have missed almost all of them. During those years I tried to do something special for me. 5 years he was in Iraq.

I put the kids to bed early. Ordered a steak. We might have chatted online. That is a Military anniversary for you.

Celebrating Anniversaries

I say we have been lucky with anniversaries because for a few years we should have missed them but for whatever reason he was home on August 3rd. For our 6th anniversary, he was in the field most of the summer but they just happen to have a break for a few days over our anniversary. For our 7th, he was deployed again and had R&R scheduled for early July. That got pushed back and we ended up spending our anniversary together in Catalina, where we went for our honeymoon.

This year is kind of a crazy year with Guard and his job but luckily he has the day off. I am so happy to be able to spend it with him again. No trips this year but it will be nice to spend all day together.

Celebrating Anniversaries

I hope that in the future we can travel more for our anniversary. I would love to go back to Catalina, go on a cruise or even a short getaway somewhere close by to where we live.

Anniversaries are special. It is the day you look back on your years together and think about all you have been through.

You think about the good times, the bad times, the easy times and the hard times. You think about who you were as a person when you got married and who you are now. You think about the future and where you want to be in five or ten years. You think about all of this. The anniversary reminds you. How could it not?

It doesn’t matter if you spend the day together, it is still special. It doesn’t matter if you make a home cooked meal and eat it after the kids are in bed or if you spend 10 days in Italy together. It doesn’t matter if you get each other amazing gifts or maybe just pick flowers from the garden to put on the table. The reason it is so special is the same reason your birthday is so special. It is the celebration of the two of you, for however long you have been together. It is a celebration of what you have together and the love you still have for one another.

In this world, where so many couples are not making it. It is something to smile at. To get excited about. To love someone for so many years is a special thing. To watch yourselves literally grow old together. It’s an amazing feeling. So here is to celebrating anniversaries and making the most of your time together, however you spend it.

Do you always celebrate your anniversaries? What do you like to do together? What do you do if you have to be apart?

The Girls from Corona del Mar by Rufi Thorpe

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The Girls from Corona del Mar

 

~The Book~

I first heard about the book the Girls from Corona del Mar by Rufi Thorpe on a podcast. It caught my attention because Corona del Mar is pretty close to where I grew up in Southern California and I have been there many times. Then my best friend read it and said it was amazing and she couldn’t put it down. I put it on my library list right away and then had to wait about a week or two to get it and start reading it. I finished it in three days, staying up way past my bedtime for two nights in a row. That is a sign of a good book even though I find myself a little tired in the morning.

~The Story~

The story is about two friends Mia and Lorrie Ann. It starts when they are in high school and goes through many years of friendship together. Mia is the more rough, hard-hearted one and Lorrie Ann is the kind one. Mia struggles with her mom, getting pregnant and dealing with her choices. Lorrie Ann has a close-knit family and seems to be living a pretty good life. Then, tragedy struck and everything seems to fall apart for Lorrie Ann. The rest of the book is about how Mia views what is going on with her friend, how she relates to her and what is really going on with the two girls who are now in their late 20s.

~My Thoughts~

I liked this book for a few different reasons. Of course I liked that it started near where I am from, a lot of the book didn’t center around there. It wasn’t a book about Southern California like I thought it would be but that was okay. I liked that the characters were complex and not so black and white. I also enjoyed reading about their relationship and how it changed over the years. That felt very real to me because I have experienced something similar with certain people who I used to be really close to.

This book was dark in a lot of ways and not a light read. But the way the author put the words together draws you in so you really start to care about what is going to happen to the characters. There were a few side storylines I got a little bored with but nothing too distracting where it ruined the book.

I think it would be interesting to read a sequel but where we get to hear this story from Lorrie Ann’s point of view. I think that would be very interesting and give us a lot more insight into who the characters really are.

You can purchase the book on Amazon 🙂

* This post contains affiliate links! 

 

6 Things Bloggers Should Do On A Regular Basis

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6 Things Bloggers Should Do On A Regular Basis

Blogging is such a great way to get your words out into the world. Whether you are blogging as a hobby or doing it as a business. Whether you have 100K followers or just your family and a few friends.

However, if you want to grow your blog, if you want to make money from blogging, if you want to make it into more of a business, there are certain things you have to do on a regular basis. I haven’t always been the best about completing this list on a regular basis and I could see the difference.

Being a blogger is more than just writing. It is a mix of using your blog for good, for writing from your heart to connecting with people and putting yourself out there.

So what should  you be doing on a regular basis?

Here’s my list of 6 things bloggers should do on a regular basis:

1. Write posts. You need to be writing on a regular basis. For some, this would mean just a couple of times a week. For others, it means every day. What you don’t want to do is write and then wait 3 weeks to write again. If you want to grow your blog and get out there, you need to be posting regularly.

2. Write for other sites. This might mean guest posting or it could also mean writing for other sites for free or pay on a regular basis. By writing on other sites you might be able to write about a different topic and you can gain new readers who head on over to your site from the site you wrote on.

3. Update old posts. My blog is about six years old. Which means I have a lot of older posts I have written that need to be refreshed a bit. I wrote them before I even thought about Pinterest or what type of photos would be best. I need to go back through and update some of my older posts and reshare them. By doing this I am able to promote some of my older content in a new way.

4. Schedule Social Media. Some of my social media I write live and other posts I schedule. I do this to save time and to always have something going out. I use Buffer, RoundTeam and BoardBooster to do this. Buffer is my favorite and I go on there everyday to add new posts to share. Both my own and others I have read that I want to share with my readers.

5. Respond to comments. I can say I am not as quick at doing this as other people are. I am working on it though. But isn’t it nice to get an email back after you leave a comment on a blog post? So I do try to go through and do that too.

6. Visit Facebook Groups. I am apart of quite a few Facebook groups for bloggers. My favorites are the Mil-Blogging Buddies group, Blogger2Business and The Business of Blogging. I have learned a lot from these types of groups and I have also been able to meet and connect with other bloggers through them. I recommend joining a few, especially if you are a new blogger and just getting started.

7. Visit Other Blogs. I use Bloglovin to keep track of other blogs I am reading. I try to go through and read a few everyday. I am never going to read every single post of every single blog I am following but it is fun to go through them. I also click on links I see on social media for posts that look interesting to me.

Are you a blogger? What would you add to your list???

 

* This post contains affiliate links! 

Guide to the First 30 Days of a Deployment

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Guide to the First 30 Days of a Deployment!

Deployment! I know I talk about deployment quite a bit on this blog. Deployments have been such a part of my life for so long, I have a lot to share. As time goes by, I get further away from my deployments but they still will always stick with me.

I have been thinking about what I would need if I was a new Military spouse getting ready for her first deployment. I know I would need encouragement, I would need to know it was going to be okay, and I think some sort of guide would help.

Guide to the First 30 Days of a Deployment

I remember reading in a magazine years ago that the first 30 days of a breakup are the hardest. This followed with an article about what to do each day to move ahead. A deployment is like a breakup in some ways. Although it is one that doesn’t last forever. You go through a lot of similar feelings of loss and sadness. Of wondering if there was a way your spouse didn’t have to get deployed and then eventually coming to some type of acceptance.

So here we go…

Your guide to the first 30 days of deployment.

Day 1 will be the day they leave, usually, it has been the morning for us so I did have a full day to get through before bedtime. If your spouse deploys at night, you can call the next day Day 1.

Day 1- Breathe. Relax. Get your kids together and tell them that you are all going to get through this. That you are there for them and you will make it through.

Day 2- Come up with a plan. A list of things you will do when your spouse is gone. Work on your hobbies? Redo the kitchen? Come up with at least 10 different projects you can focus on.

Day 3- Make a list of 5 friends you can call. When you want to get together with someone. Or if you really need something. Don’t be afraid to ask for help during the deployment.

Day 4- Buy some pretty stationary to write love letters on. You will be glad you did.

Day 5- Call your mom and cry your eyes out. If you don’t have a good relationship with her, call your Mother-In-Law, your sister or someone you can cry to. It’s okay to cry about this.

Day 6- Go get some ice cream or a yummy treat. You need it. You have made it almost a week.

Day 7- Find a new book to read. Go to the library and pick out a few. Ask your friends for suggestions.

Day 8– Start your first care package. Make it a themed one. Put all his favorite items in there.

Day 9- Start on your project list if you haven’t already. Complete at least one of them. Want to paint something? Pick a day you will do that, buy the paint and get started.

Day 10- Plan to have people over. Don’t know anyone in town? See if you can attend an event to meet people.

Day 11- Take your kids somewhere you have never been before. Maybe it is a new park. Maybe it is a new mall. Do something you haven’t done in the past. And take pictures.

Day 12– Write in your journal. Get it all out. Don’t have one? Go buy something pretty and start using it. You will be glad you did.

Day 13- Make a nice dinner. No cereal tonight. You are almost two weeks in. You got this.

Day 14- Plan a trip during the deployment. Make plans to visit home. If you can’t afford to travel, try a day trip. Put something on the calendar to look forward to.

Day 15- Try to attend an FRG meeting. Find out when the next one is and put it on the calendar. They might get a bad rap sometimes but they also can be a good way to connect.

Day 16- Start another one of your projects. Make plans to get it done.

Day 17- Binge watch a show. It’s okay. If you can’t binge watch, find time to watch a few episodes. Take your mind off the stresses of the last few weeks.

Day 18- Buy some bubble bath and enjoy. Grab your book and soak for a bit. You might have to wait until the kids are in bed but it will be worth it.

Day 19- Send another love letter. Make it silly. Spray some of your perfume. Why not?

Day 20- Talk to your spouse about an after deployment trip. Just throw out some ideas. You will want to go somewhere if only for a day or two.

Day 21- Invite a friend out for coffee even if you don’t feel like it. Talking with others will be good for you. It will be nice to get out and enjoy some girl time.

Day 22- Buy a new piece of clothing. On a tight budget? Hit the thrift stores. Just find something new for you.

Day 23- Join a new group. Heard of a book club you always wanted to try? Send an email and find out more details. Connecting with others will really help the time go by faster.

Day 24- Plan a potluck to celebrate one month down. Invite other spouses going through a deployment. It might seem like a little thing but making it through that first month is a big deal.

Day 25- Call his mom. She might be worried. She might be lonely. It will be good to hear from you. You are the two people in the world that miss that man more than anyone else.

Day 26- Start exercising every day if you don’t already do this. It is a great stress reliever.

Day 27- Plan another package. Ask your spouse what they need.

Day 28- Start a blog. Blogging during a deployment can be a great way to get things out. Don’t forget about OPSEC.

Day 29- Take your camera out for a photo walk. Doesn’t matter what kind of camera. It will do your heart good to get out there and take some new pictures.

Day 30- Celebrate the fact that you are now 30 days in. You are on your way. You got this deployment! You are making it, even if it is just a day at a time.

Going through a deployment right now? I hope this helps a bit!

Just know that you are not alone and a lot of us Military spouses have been through it before.

Want a Guide for the First 30 Days of a Deployment???

Simple Guide to Bokeh Photos and Changing Your Depth of Field

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Simple Guide to Bokeh Photos

Simple Guide to Bokeh Photos and Changing Your Depth of Field

One of my most favorite type of photos to take is a bokeh shot.  I love the light, the bokeh circles and how much fun you can have with those types of photos. How the urge to take these photos get me to look for light and find new subjects to take pictures of.

If you don’t know what bokeh is, it is a Japanese word that means, “the visual quality of the out-of-focus areas of a photographic image, especially as rendered by a particular lens.” Or in other words, it’s a photo where you have a subject in focus and a background out of focus with good light in the back ground.

Simple Guide to Bokeh Photos and Changing Your Depth of Field

As you can see in this photo, the strawberry flower and leaf is in focus while the background and even the foreground is out of focus. You can see “bokeh” circles in the areas that are not in focus. This is a very popular thing to do to photos. Even Instagram has a feature where you can make part of your photo in focus while the rest is not. You can also add bokeh circles when you are editing your photos.

The great thing about using a DSLR camera is that you can easily do this just by changing your settings.

You will be playing around with the aperture settings. You will want to change your f-stop based on the type of photo you want to make. Larger apertures mean a smaller f-stop number. The smaller the f-stop, the less of your photo will be in focus. If you are planning on taking a photo of a group of people, you would want to use a smaller aperture. You wouldn’t only want one or two people to be in focus. The same goes for a landscape. When I am taking a landscape photos my f-stop is at least at 5.6 or even higher depending what the photo is of.

The larger the aperture, the more light you are letting in, the shallower the depth of field. The smaller the aperture, the less light you are letting in and the wider the depth of field.

I decided to take some photos of my growing strawberry plants to show you the difference. I used my Canon 50D with my Canon 85mm 1.8 lens. It is one of my favorite lenses.

I put my ISO at 100 because it was pretty sunny out. My lens was on 65mm for each of these shots too.

Simple Guide to Bokeh Photos and Changing Your Depth of Field

This first shot has the shallowest depth of field. I shot this with f/2.8 and shutter speed 1/1000. As you can see most of everything is out of focus except for the strawberry in the front. I also made sure the light was in the right spot so that I could get bokeh circles.

Bokeh CirclesThis photo was done at f/4.0 and shutter speed 1/500.

Bokeh photosThis one was taken at f/5.6 and shutter speed 1/250.

 

IMG_0066This one was at f/8.0 and SS 1/125.

bokeh depth of field

And this one is f/11 and 1/60 which is a little slow but it worked because of the light. As you can see there is more in focus in this photo then in any of the others.

When you are trying to decide what to shoot your photo at, you can play around with the settings. You might not like what the photo looks like when you use the largest aperture. This is why practice is so important.

The best thing to do is take your camera out everyday and take pictures of everything. This can be your children’s toys, your children, your plants, your home, etc. You can go on a photo walk or stay around your house. By taking photos every single day you will start to understand how your camera works and what it means to use different settings.

Photography

Bokeh photos

 

If you still haven’t taken your camera off manual, I encourage you to do so. You can do so much more with it and get pictures looking the way that you want. There are a lot of photography books out there to help get you started. One thing you can do is go to the library or a book store and look through what they have. See if anything jumps out at you.  I would recommend starting with Understanding Exposure by Bryan Peterson. He really breaks everything down in a great way!

So now it is time to get out there and start using your camera. It is way too easy to just stay with your phone cameras but there is a whole world out there that is digital photography that you want to explore.

 

* This post does contain affiliate links! 

 

The Benefits of Living in Military Housing

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There are a lot of benefits to living in Military housing and it can be a very good thing for you and your family.

 

Living in Military housing can be such a great thing to do. We did it when we were in Germany and to be honest, if my husband had stayed Active Duty and we moved to another duty station, I would have wanted to do it again. There are a lot of benefits to living in Military housing and it can be a very good thing for you and your family.

By living on post you can more easily find yourself a support system. Everyone in your neighborhood is a Military family. You will have a ton of Military spouses on your street to make friends with. Your kids will probably go to school with other Military children and their teachers and staff will all know that the school is filled with Military kids.

It can be easy to meet new friends by just walking your kids down to the park or attending events put on by the housing area. Lincoln Military Housing does just that. They host a variety of events that help the community get to know one other and make friends. It can give you a chance to meet others, have your kids find kids to play with and feel like you are more apart of your local community.

You need a good support system as a Military spouse. People who truly understand what you are going through, who can be there for you during your more difficult days and know what it is like to be without your spouse for long periods of time. You can vent together, share good days, share bad days, get together for holidays and dinners and just be there for one another.

One summer, when my husband was deployed, I would meet friends at the local parks to have dinner together while our children played. It was the best way to get through the deployment, especially the evenings that seemed to drag on and on. Although we could have done this without all living on post it was so much easier to do it several times a week since we all did live so close to one another.

Another benefit to Military housing is that it is so close to everything. In a lot of places you can walk to a lot of the places you need to go. In some cases the service member can even walk to work. They can also easily come home for lunch during the day without too much trouble. Kids love having lunch with both parents when it works out to do so.

If you live on post, you might be able to save a little bit of money each month. This will mostly depend on your location, what your BAH would be and your family size. You should do a little research if you are curious about it and see if living on post can in fact save you money. Keep in mind that you will probably pay more for electric and water as well as more in gas if you choose to live off post.

What about you? Do you like to live in Military housing? Are you able to find a support system there?

This post is sponsored on behalf of Lincoln Military Housing

Chameleon Kids and The Military Kids’ Life Magazine

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Military Kids' Life Cover Issue 2

 

Have you heard of Chameleon Kids? It’s mission is to inspire kids in Military families. They have a wonderful magazine called, Military Kids’ Life that was launched in April 2015 and I was able to review a copy! This magazine an exciting mix of articles based on a quarterly theme to help kids find the adventure in their military lives.

logo_w_digicam

The target age is 6 to 14-year-old boys and girls in military families (Air Force, Army, Coast Guard, Marines, Navy, Active, Reserve, National Guard.) The magazine will come out quarterly and will cost $12.95 for an annual subscription and$3.95 single copy.

magazines for Military kids

I really enjoyed looking through this magazine. The articles were great. I especially loved the ones from the kids about living overseas. Those would be ideal for a child getting ready to move to a new location. There are also articles with recipes, about pets and other topics that would be of interest to Military children.

The magazine is filled with beautiful photos to go with the stories. It also feels like the price is worth the cost. There is enough in it to make it worth buying and not feel like you are paying too much for just a couple of pages.

Although it is geared for older kids, it is great for us moms and dads too. We can even share some of the stories with our younger children.

Chameleon Kids

Here are some links for more information:

Purchase a subscription for your military kids: www.thechameleonkids.com/magazine

Follow us on Facebook for more ways to encourage the bright side of military life: www.facebook.com/thechameleonkids

* I was provided a free copy of the magazine for review! 

Deployments and The Effect on Children

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Deployments and The Effect on Children

Deployments and The Effect on Children

After four deployments, our family knows what it is like to go long periods of time without Dad in the home. It can be so challenging for the parent at home to have to be mom and dad. It can also be really hard on the children who might not truly understand why their mom or dad has to be away from them.

Since the war in Afghanistan began in 2001, more than 2 million American children have had a deployed parent. Many of them have seen multiple deployments. This tells me that we are not alone and that all these children have gone through or are going through what my own boys have.

Our last deployment ended in 2013 and my boys were 9, 7 and 3. At those ages they only kind of understand what Dad was doing. It was a hard time for all of us as I helped them work through the time apart while trying to deal with the deployment myself. It can be difficult to know what will help them and what they are really dealing with.

The best thing to do is to keep the line of communication open with your children. Let them know it is okay to share with you how they are feeling or what they are experiencing. Encourge them to reach out to you if it becomes too hard. Sometimes young kids will act out when they are feeling frustrated about the deployment. It is important to keep firm boundaries in your home but be aware that some behavior could be because of missing one of their parents.

One idea is to have a recordable device that the deployed parent can set up to give to the child. Recordable teddy bears, along with other battery-powered devices such as recordable story books provide reliable comfort no matter when or where their parent is deployed.

Duracell has a great out all about how a Teddy Bear can help a child through a deployment. This video made me cry because it shows us how hard it can be for a child to be without their dad. It is nice that we live in a time where technology can help that divide and allow the child to hear their parent’s voice whenever they want. The film was inspired by a real Military child who was showed Duracell a Teddy Bear she had during her father’s deployment.

Duracell would like to raise $100,000 for USO’s Comfort Crew for Military Kids. Share the film and find out how you donate to the cause through the USO at http://www.uso.org/donate.

You can also find Duracell on Facebook and Twitter.

 

This review was made possible by iConnect and Duracell. I was provided compensation to facilitate this post, but all opinions are 100% mine.