Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Military Life

The Journey Of An Army Chaplain Family

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This guest post was written by Janet Pryor of http://www.militarymilestones.com/

The Journey Of An Army Chaplain Family

The Journey Of An Army Chaplain Family - Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

In 1973, my world changed very radically, but it was a change that we welcomed and looked forward to from the beginning. My husband had desired to become a military chaplain all during his last four years from college into graduate school (seminary). Now that dream was coming true.

We had been married when I was 20 years old and when we were halfway through college.  We finished college together and my husband went on to Seminary while I worked as an elementary teacher. To become a chaplain, one had to go through an endorsing agency, a denominational headquarters of religious hierarchy that would vet and train a potential candidate for the military chaplaincy.  In addition, one had to have a college degree and at least 90 hours of graduate (seminary) training. That pretty much amounted to a three-year master’s degree.

We were able to accomplish this, but our endorsing agency was a small group that only had 1/2 of an opening compared to other endorsing agencies that had hundreds of potential openings to get into the Army as a chaplain. How does one get into the chaplaincy with 1/2 of an opening when we already had about 5 chaplains in despite that 1/2 opening?  Well, the way it was done was to use other denominational openings that they could not fill. So, the chances were slim that we would get in. But within a few months of applying there was an opening and on December 16, 1973, my husband was sworn in as a Captain and a Chaplain in the United States Army (his favorite branch of the military).

Since our denominational headquarters were small, there was not the vetting and training that others provided. Most would take a couple and train them for up to a year of what to expect and how to understand the world they were entering. We had had none of that training.

In January of 1974, we entered the military world. The first step was that my husband was sent to New York for Chaplain basic training. We were to be apart for up to nine weeks. The first challenge for me as a 24-year-old mother of one with a second child on the way in 6 to 7 months was figuring out what I would do during those 9 weeks. I headed to my parent’s home.  They had retired near Augusta, Georgia.  For a gal from the north this was a real culture change but one that proved to be enlightening and encouraging. Those nine weeks seemed to take a long time, but they were filled with fun surprises as my husband would surprise me a couple of times with being able to fly from New York to Augusta for weekend passes.

After some time, I was able to head to New York city for some weekends there at the Chaplain’s school in Brooklyn, New York. I am sure to most military personnel the Chaplain’s basic was rather easy compared to what most soldiers would encounter. It was a school of learning officer training and understanding but still had lots of physical requirements and testing involved there. But, when we were able to be together on those special weekends it was magical for us to step into a world we had not envisioned or knew. In March, 1974, my husband graduated from the Chaplain’s course.  His father flew in for the ceremony from Michigan (our home state) and I flew in from Georgia. It was a proud day as our plans and hopes for military life began.

Looking back, it was a challenging and crazy time, but it was an important time for my husband and I, and we wouldn’t have traded it for anything.  To all of you military wives out there going through challenging times, hang in there.  I am living proof of an army wife who has experienced the fruit of a life in the military.  Love your husband.  Love your kids.  And have hope in the positive things of life.

Janet and Jerry Pryor live in Northern Kentucky, where they spend time investing in their children and 12 grandchildren.  They are also co-owners of a custom military rings e-commerce store at MilitaryMilestones.com.
The Journey Of An Army Chaplain Family - Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

The Journey Of An Army Chaplain Family - Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

 

 

If you would like to write a guest post for my blog, please contact me.  I love to feature guest posters 🙂

Military Care Package Resource Guide

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Military Care Package Resource Guide

 

A great article from JustMilitaryLoans.com 🙂

Military Care Package Resource Guide
With 145,000 troops on active duty in Iraq and Afghanistan1 there’s no doubt that many will feel the heartache of being away from family and loved ones during the holidays.  Here at Just Military Loans we know the value in any type of gift, but one of the most simple and profound gifts are the kind that travel a long distance.

military care packages

photo provided by Support Our Military

A Movement Starts With One Person
Katrina Pesek took the time to do this.  As a proud military wife and mother, she sent a care package to her husband during his first deployment in Iraq.  After sharing all the goodies with many of his Marines comrades, he told her the shocking news that there weren’t too many other servicemen who receive anything mostly because of high shipping costs.

This statement struck a chord with Katrina. She had just assumed, as most of us probably do, that all of our troops receive care packages. In reality, some troops go a 7-12 month deployment without receiving a package filled with some of the small comforts of home. This inspired Katrina to start her own grass roots care package effort called Support Our Military.

It all started in 2009 when she sent extra care packages to her husband which he would distribute to fellow Marines. She continued to do this while she also balanced a full-time job, a household, and family.  Over the years, with the help of her community, she has managed to send out 328 care packages to troops overseas.  Like her husband always says, “one care package means more to any deployed service man or woman, than none”.

While she never expects a response, she has received several thank you notes and e-mails from her deployed adoptees. Here is an excerpt from a note she received from a Marine stationed in Iraq:

“We live on a remote outpost 4+ hours from the nearest civilization so we have no way of buying anything and we depend heavily on mail like yours. Which comes 2-3 times a month.  In a war that doesn’t gain much public support in the U.S., it means a lot that we still get so much love from folks like you and all. You really have no idea how much of an impact you make on these Marines. You really help the time pass by and make our deployment easier.”

military care packages

What’s In A Box
Like this grateful Marine stated it’s hard to get additional supplies. Surprisingly, baby wipes are at the top of the list for most needed items. Not all of our deployed have the luxury of a bathroom or running water so baby wipes are sometimes the only means of a bath. Also, foods like cookies, snacks, canned tuna and even hot sauce are highly sought after items as they help break the MRE (meals ready to eat) cycle and offer a small reminder of home.  Click here to find the full list of Care Package Wish List.

How You Can Help
This holiday season Katrina is working on sending a little holiday cheer to our deployed with some special holiday care packages. She plans on raising funds through auctions and the sale of designer jewelry and handbags by Gorjana in order to send out as many holiday care packages as she can.

There are many ways you can get involved:  run donation drives at your place of employment, local church or school, or within your community.  If you’d like to be a part of Support Our Military’s care package effort, they are always accepting donations of wish list items or homemade items. Monetary donations are always graciously accepted as each package costs $12.95 to ship.  Visit their website for more information:  Support Our Military.

Weekend in Santa Claus, Indiana

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This past weekend we drove up to Santa Claus, IN for a wedding.  We have some friends that live near there and also got to see a few friends from California that were visiting for the wedding.  It was such a great weekend.  We were able to spend a good amount of time with our friends and catch up a little bit.

We stayed at Santa’s Lodge which is right by Holiday World.  It was a cute little hotel.  It wasn’t as dressed up in Santa stuff as I thought it could have been but it worked well for us.  They had an indoor pool we got to use on Saturday morning with a hot tub.  The reception was also at the hotel so that made it really easy for us.  They also gave us a military discount of $10 off a night.

What places have you been for a quick weekend away?

 


Santa's Lodge
10 Month Old

7 year old

Santa Claus, Indiana

Santa's Lodge

Santa's Lodge

 

Painting the House

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Picking out Paint at Home Depot

One thing about our new house is that all the walls were a weird gold/orange color.  We knew we wanted to paint every room.  We started on a Thursday.  Went early to buy all the paint and got going right away.  We finished on Sunday afternoon.  We still actually have to paint the stairs/hallway and our bathroom but we 1) Ran out of paint 2) Are not sure what we want in the bathroom 3) Needed a break from painting.

Behr Paint from Home Depot

We started with the upstairs rooms.  Our two older boys share a room and we went with a pretty blue in there.   The baby’s room was going to be green but I changed my mind and decided to go with a bright blue.  I would like to have the room be blue, lime green and orange and slowly working on that.  For the office, we went to Scotland Yard which is a light green.  I love it.  So calming and soothing.  For the bathroom, we went with Cool Dusk, a darker blue.  I found a cute Monkey shower curtain so we are going with that theme so far.

Painting Our HouseAfter we finished the upstairs we started on the downstairs.  For the Master bedroom, we went with a dark green.  Not sure I was going to like it but after 10 days here I am loving it.  Still need to find some new bedding and another decor to match it.  For the living room and hallways, we went with a  pretty shade of green.  I just adore it!  I am so happy with this color.  The kitchen is yellow which I have always wanted.  It was the hardest color to paint but worth it.

I knew it was going to be a lot of work but so glad we did decide to paint what we did.  We are so much happier with the colors that we got to chose.  Not only does it look better in our opinion but it is nice to know WE got to pick all the colors.  The house is personalized for us, not some other family.

Can I Really Make it Through This Deployment?

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Can I Really Make it Through This Deployment?

Can I Really Make it Through This Deployment?

I was looking through some of the keywords that people use to come to this blog and “Can I Really Make it Through This Deployment?” came up a few times.  I want to tell these people that although it does seem hard, you can make it through.  The time before they leave can be really difficult.  You wonder what it will be like, if you can do this time alone, if you can parent alone if you can handle him being in a war zone, etc.  It is hard to know exactly what to expect, even if you have gone through one before.

You never really know how you are going to feel or what the deployment will be like.

Each one is a little different.

There have been times during all of our deployments that I just wondered how I would make it one more day.  I felt burned out and just done with everything. But somehow I was able to pick myself back up and get on with it.  Sometimes it was because of a lot of prayers, other times it was getting together with a friend and sometimes I would even have to give myself a pep talk.  A lot of tears might have been shed but that is how I got through the deployment.

I think we try to be strong and don’t think we can ever cry about what is going on.  We even hear people say we shouldn’t complain.  But some days you just have to break down. You just have to let everything all out before you can move on to the next day.  It is ok to have a bad deployment day, to have ice cream for dinner, to cry to a friend. This is all a part of getting through the months or even years alone. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Each of us handle this type of things differently and just because a friend never seems to have a bad day, it doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t.

So to those of you afraid for your first deployment and think you won’t be able to make it through, if you love your husband, if you are committed to him, then you will.  You will be able to make it through.  You will get through the X amount of months and come out stronger on the other side. You will. Sometimes it might feel like you are just getting through one day at a time. The days can feel long and frustrating. That is all apart of your journey. Try to remember that deployments don’t last forever and you will be reunited with your spouse once again and the whole crazy thing will be over. You will get to homecoming, I promise. You will be back in his arms and the deployment will be a part of your memories, for good or for bad.

What advice would you give to someone facing their first deployment?

 

* this post contains affiliate links!

Advice For Your First Deployment

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Advice For Your First Deployment

Advice For Your First Deployment

My next guest post is by a friend of mine, Jess.  She was the very first Army wife I met when we started this Army adventure. She was also my FRG leader.  I asked her to write about advice she would give someone who was getting ready for their first deployment.  Our first deployment was in 2006 and Jess was there to tell me a little bit of what to expect so I just knew this would be a great post!  Thank you Jess 🙂

Stressed? Emotional? Perhaps even a bit stand-offish? Sounds like you’ve got a deployment coming up. The bad news is your Soldier is leaving. The good news is you aren’t alone!

There is no specific way to handle a deployment, especially your first deployment. Some people take it all in stride and seem to brush off the hardship. Others seem to physically break down the second their Soldier marches away. Still others seem to change entirely and don’t seem to return to normal until their Soldier is back in their arms again. No matter which category you find yourself falling into, remember this: You are STRONG. You are CAPABLE. You CAN do this!

Just as parenting a child has no actual guidebook, deployments don’t come with magic spouse field manuals. However, let’s not speak that phrase too loudly. I’ve seen some pretty crazy things put into FM’s before. The greatest way to make it through the hardships of a deployment are to simply listen to your heart, listen to other’s advice and pray. If you feel overwhelmed, talk to someone! Believe me, there are a lot of us out there who are willing to listen and lend a hand (or a shoulder) when necessary. Don’t be afraid to ask.

One of the greatest things you can do for yourself is to set personal goals.. You don’t have to get crazy with it; the point of a goal is to be able to accomplish it. Set mini-milestones throughout to ensure you stay focused and on-target. A big favorite that I’ve seen is weight-loss/healthier lifestyles. Say you set a goal to lose 25 pounds throughout the year. Remember to start off in small increments, and celebrate each 5 pounds you are able to lose. This is a great way to have something realistic to look forward to in a relatively short time! The greatest part is-IT’S ALL YOURS! It’s very easy to lose yourself in the constant stress during a deployment. Don’t forget that your Soldier still needs you just as much as you need him/her. Take care of yourself, even while supporting your deployed loved one.

If I could offer just one last bit of advice, it would be to stay busy and not forget that the world is still going round. It’s very common to feel bad about going out and having fun while your loved one is away, but remember, you need your personal time as well. It’s ok to go catch a movie with the girls, or secure a babysitter for a few hours of pampering at the salon every now and again. You are HouseHold 6. You keep the home fires burning. You can’t take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself first. Make yourself a priority, especially while your loved one is away. Don’t lose yourself to the chaos and stress, and always reach out if you need help. You follow a long legacy of the Silent Ranks. You can do this!

 

 

Financial checklist for soon to be deployed military members

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My next guest post is by Matt Polsky from the VA Benefit Blog.  He is going to be talking about how to prepare financially before going on a deployment.

Financial checklist for soon to be deployed military members

Horror stories of soldiers accruing debt while serving are far too numerous.  Financial preparation could lessen the nerves of the moment and save money for both the service member and his or her family. However, how does one save? And what are some last minute tips for soldiers with no emergency fund?

Things to Do Before Deployment

Military members could save a lot of money while deployed. They could even potentially end with more money than they started. How?

  1. Create an emergency fund. It is extremely difficult to put money aside. However, everyone should try their best to throw a few extra dollars every week into the bank and forget about it. This is the most effective way to meet emergencies and life-changes head on. Try paying yourself first, aim to deposit 8-10 percent of your paycheck and try to forget about it until an emergency arises.
  2. Start researching what creditors offer military members on duty. Some creditors have military discounts and forbearances. Call them to find out what a military member can do in the case of deployment. Many of them will have an answer. However, some will not want to offer any leniency. In that case, all service members leaving for active duty should utilize the protections provided under the Servicemembers’ Civil Relief Act. The law protects military members from financial burden. They can eliminate or lower income tax, credit card debts, mortgage payments and rent while on duty. For members with families, the law gives them peace of mind because banks are not allowed to evict or foreclose on a home while a service member is on duty. This law still requires the military member to give the bank or property owner and other creditors proper notice of deployment.
  3. Making small decisions lead to big savings. For example, store the car away and do not let anyone use it. Insurance companies will lower plan rates for a car not in use. Not to mention, a stored car runs no risk of repair or damage if it is not being used. Another way a small decision could save money—suspend cell phone coverage. Many mobile providers can suspend your coverage and let you keep your same number for up to 18 months and reactivate the phone upon your return. This makes perfect sense for soldiers who regularly use online phone services such as Skype as well as prepaid phone cards and email to communicate with their family and friends back home.
  4. Obtain legal protection of finances. Assigning a trusted Power of Attorney to manage accounts and budgets could help to limit big spending and protect from theft or loss while gone. It would be a nightmare to come back only to find an empty bank account.

It is important to make sure family and friends are on the same page about the actions taken to protect funds. Assure them of insurance coverage as well as the protections under SCRA. Be strict about spending and the use of personal property while away. Taking the above precautions will leave one with money in the bank as opposed to substantial debt.

Matt Polsky is a blogger associated with VA Benefit Blog, a blog focused on providing veterans and service members with current news and information on the benefits they have through serving our country.