Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

military life

10 Thoughts That Go Through Your Head During Thanksgiving

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10 Thoughts That Go Through Your Head During Thanksgiving

Raise your hand if you are completely ready for Thanksgiving. Well, you better be, the day is coming up very soon. You probably have a list of 100 things you have to do before the big day, or maybe, you are keeping things rather simple this year. Either way, Thanksgiving weekend can be interesting.

Here are 10 thoughts that might go through your head during Thanksgiving: 

“I hope I don’t forget anything!”

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If you are traveling during Thanksgiving, packing can be stressful! Will you remember everything? What if you forget something important? Is everything charged???

“Please no delays, please no delays, please no delays”

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You know you are traveling on the busiest travel day of the year. You are doing it solo this year, the husband is deployed once again, and you are just praying NOTHING gets delayed because the idea of being stuck in an airport longer than you should is terrifying.

“Crap, I forgot the green beans!”

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It’s Wednesday night, you are about to go to bed, and you remember you FORGOT THE GREEN BEANS! Crap, go to the store and battle the crowds? Or not make green bean casserole?

“Do I remember how to make a turkey?”

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Let’s face it, you only cook a turkey once a year. Do you still remember how to do it? Is it just like riding a bike?

“Maybe we should order a meal?”

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As you crawl out of bed at 6 am to get started with your day of cooking, you wonder if you should have just ordered a meal. Cracker Barrel has a good deal, don’t they?

“What the heck is he going to eat?”

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If you have a picky kid, you know Thanksgiving is always a challenge. Here is a roll kid, have fun not enjoying the best meal of the year.

“Time with family!”

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This could be good, this could be bad. Anytime the whole family gets together there is some kind of drama, but hey, at least we all get to be together, right?

“I really just want to eat”

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Cooking is done, and you just want to gobble up that yummy meal you helped make. Or made by yourself, whatever.

“I’m not doing the dishes!”

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The rule is, if you cooked the turkey, you don’t have to do the dishes. At least in our house 🙂

“Time to put up the tree?”

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“Mom, can we put the tree up? Mom, can we put the tree up? Mom, can we put the tree up?” The Christmas season has arrived, the holidays are in full swing, time to get started on all your Christmas shopping! Have fun!!!

However you are spending Thanksgiving, I hope you have a good one, filled with fun, good food, and family and friends 🙂

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When the Holidays Don’t Feel Like the Holidays

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When the Holidays Don't Feel Like the Holidays

The holidays are here! You want to be excited, you want to go all-in, but…what do you do when your spouse is deployed? When they are off to some other part of the world too many miles from where you are? What do you do when you just don’t feel like doing Christmas? When you just don’t feel like setting anything up? When you just want the holidays to be over so you will be closer to homecoming and seeing your spouse again?

When your spouse is deployed during this time of year, the holidays don’t always feel like the holidays. You might want to skip them altogether, or just wish away time to the new year when the holidays are over. You might not be feeling like you even have much to celebrate. But you do.

I think most military spouses will go through this at one time or another.

Here are some ideas to help if you are feeling like the holidays and not the holidays this year:

Don’t pressure yourself 

One of the biggest issues with social media is comparing yourself to other families. And this seems to get worse during the holidays. The thing is, you don’t have to do things the way others do.

Is there something that overwhelms you at the thought of having to do it? Don’t. Or maybe there is something you normally do with help from your spouse, and you simply don’t have the energy to do so this year. That’s okay too.

Find what works for your family and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Take the pressure off yourself. Your holiday season will be much easier that way.

Add a new tradition

Why not try a new tradition this year? Something for you and your kids to get excited about. Are you stationed overseas? If so, why not adopt a tradition of the country you are stationed in? Adding something new can be just what you need to get excited about this holiday season, even if your spouse is deployed.

Plan for celebrating later

If your spouse is coming home early in the new year, you could always save the celebrating for then. If you have very small children or no children, this can work well. Older, school-age children might have trouble with this so you could have a small celebration with plans for a bigger one later. As military families, we have to be flexible and this is one way to do so during a deployment.

Fake it until you make it

Sometimes you simply have to fake it until you make it. Make a list of all the holiday things you normally do and try to work on a few a day, even if you don’t feel like it. Getting started with getting ready for the holidays can help you get in the mood. Involve your kids because you know they are going to be excited about the holidays no matter what.

Put on a Christmas movie, light a holiday candle, or take the kids to see Santa. Do something that can really put you in the holiday mood. This can help you get there, even if you are not sure if it will work.

What have you done to help during the holidays when you don’t feel like celebrating because they are deployed?

To the Veterans

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To the Veterans

To the veterans who served before our time…in wars, we can only imagine having gone through.

To the veterans who served while life was changing back at home…when they were not even sure what the future would bring.

To the veterans who served even when that meant leaving their loved ones for way too long…unsure of when they would be returning back home.

To the veterans who served when serving wasn’t the popular thing to do…putting on the uniform isn’t easy.

To the veterans who first left for Iraq and Afghanistan, before we even really knew what was going on…and going back time and time again.

To the veterans who joined after 9/11, even though they knew how much the world had changed on that day…and how things would never be the same.

To the veterans who served because their parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents did…and they knew joining the military would always be a part of their future.

To the veterans who are the first in their families to put on a uniform…and they truly are not totally sure what that will mean.

To the veterans who served as the first women in the military, paving the way for future generations…so that today, women in uniform are a regular part of military life.

To the veterans who served, even when serving seemed too hard…some roads to the military can be more complicated than others.

To the veterans who came back home…and will always remember those who didn’t.

To the veterans that get up every day to go to work, not sure if anyone they will see today can truly understand what they have gone through…and hoping that they can find the support they need.

To the veterans who keep serving, even in the smallest of ways…to help future generations.

To the veterans who never thought they would make it home…and to those who did but will never feel the same again.

To the veterans with all the stories, hoping that younger generations can truly understand the sacrifices that were made…and all the stories about the friendships made during our countries battles.

We can never thank any of you enough for what you have gone through and what you have done for our country. One day a year simply isn’t enough. We can learn so much from your years and your wisdom, and America would not be America without you.

Who are the veterans in your life???

5 Important Conversations Military Couples Should Have During Military Life

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5 Important Conversations Military Couples Should Have During Military Life

It’s not always easy to sit down and have a conversation with your service member. But as a military couple, it is super important to have conversations about different aspects of your lives, from kids and your home to both of your careers. And as you know, the military has a prominent place in a military couple’s relationship.

The military dictates so much about our lives, from when our spouse will live in the home to where that home will actually be. It can be stressful, especially if you aren’t sure you are on the same page.

That is why communication is so important. And there are certain conversations that military couples should be having. Here are 5 of them:

The Deployment Talk — Before It Happens

So they are deploying. They have the orders. And you are preparing. Sit down together and talk about expectations while you are apart.

Talk about how you will communicate, how bills will be handled, and different things for the children. Things can change quickly during a deployment, but going in with clear communication will go a long way in preparing you for what is to come.

The PCS & Home Base Talk

Some military families do have some say in a duty station. Some don’t. But it is always helpful to know what you want if you get the opportunity to make a choice. Do you want to go to Hawaii? What would it mean to be stationed overseas? Does being stationed an hour from home make sense?

And then the PCS itself. What will the move look like? What will each spouse do? What will need to be done to prepare the kids? There is certainly a lot to talk about before a PCS.

The Money & Future Talk

When two spouses talk about money, things can get really stressful, especially if you are coming at it from different points of view. But it’s important to talk about.

What will you do with any extra deployment money? What does your current budget look like vs a deployment one? How much will you spend on an after-deployment vacation?

The “What If” Talk

This is the hard stuff. The stuff civilian couples might not be talking about as much in their 20s and 30s. But it’s super important.

Do you have updated wills? What about POAs? What will happen if the service member gets injured, or even worse? Where will you go if the worst does happen? These conversations are worth having for both spouses.

The “Who Are We Outside the Military?” Talk

Sometimes it can be way too easy to lose sight of goals outside the military. But they are essential, especially for the military spouse.

It’s a great idea to talk to one another about what you want to do in the future, whether it is pursuing a specific career path, having children, or living in certain places. Your goals matter too. And you want to be able to express them to your spouse.

At the end of the day, everyone’s marriages are different. There are things you need to talk with your spouse about that your friend might not need to. The important thing is to be open with them, keep the lines of communication open, and never stop sharing your life with one another, even across the miles.

5 Important Conversations Military Couples Should Have During Military Life

7 Things to Do When You Feel Like Military Life is Way Too Hard

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7 Things to Do When You Feel Like Military Life is Way Too Hard

Look, we have all been there. Your spouse comes home with some news. It isn’t good.

They moved up the deployment. They canceled your orders to a duty station near home. They didn’t make a promotion.

Whatever it might be, things can happen during military life that can feel like a punch in the gut. It hurts badly. And you can feel like you can’t do it anymore.

So what should you do when you feel like military life is way too hard? What can you do if your spouse’s enlistment isn’t over for years, or if they really want to make a career out of the military? What do you do when you can’t simply walk away from this crazy, stressful life?

1) Make sure you have some goals of your own

You want to make sure you always have your own goals to work on. That’s super important. Whether they are educational, career-related, or just personal. You matter too.

2) Make a bucket list of your duty station

Every duty station has something good about it, even if it is hard to see. Get on the internet, start googling, and make a bucket list for your area. You might not even realize what is around you.

3) Commit to trying one new thing a week, even if it is scary

Are there any groups in your area you can check out? Maybe you met someone and need to follow up with them to plan a coffee date? Commit to trying something new every week. You never know what might happen, and it can help take your mind off the military stuff.

4) Remember, you don’t have to love military life every minute of every day to support your service member

This is the truth of it. Sometimes the military makes you so mad. And it is okay to be angry with them. It doesn’t make you less of a military spouse if that is how you feel.

5) Plan a vacation

Sometimes you need a break. See if you can plan a vacation. Even if it is just for a weekend. Even if it is months from now.

6) Focus on the positives of this life

I know, I know, that IS hard to do when you are staring another deployment in the face too soon after they got home from the last one. But think about all the things you have been able to do, all the amazing people you have met, and all that can be done during your life as a military spouse.

7) Vent to a friend

It’s okay to vent to a friend. We all need that sometimes. Find someone who can be understanding, even if they are not a military spouse themselves. Venting to a non-judgmental person can be a great way to work through your feelings about an issue.

In some cases, it may be helpful to take it a step further and talk to a professional about how you are feeling. This life can be really hard sometimes. You don’t have to do it without the help that you need.

7 Things to Do When You Feel Like Military Life is Way Too Hard

12 Things You Must Do As Soon As Your Spouse Deploys

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12 Things You Must Do As Soon As Your Spouse Deploys

12 Things You Must Do As Soon As Your Spouse Deploys

Your spouse just deployed. What now? What are you supposed to do? Here are 12 things you must do as soon as your spouse deploys.

1. Have a good cry

If you feel like you need to cry, do so. Put on a Disney video for your kids, go into your room, and let it all out. Then pick yourself back up, and plan for the rest of your deployment. For a lot of people, crying is a way to get all the sadness out. And having a good cry can get you in a better place so don’t be afraid to do so.

2. Call your mom

Call your mom. She can be there for you. You can also call your mother-in-law, your sister, or anyone you know that will lend a listening ear. The start of a deployment can be pretty shocking. You have to get used to your new normal, and that will take some time. Reach out to someone and let them know what is going on.

Surviving deployment

3. List your support system

Make a list of your support system. This sounds silly but having a list of who you can count on when your spouse is deployed is a good idea. List people you can call to get together with, those who you can call if you need help with childcare, or those you simply want to be around. The sad truth is not everyone is going to be supportive so spend your time with those who will be, whether they are civilians or other military spouses.

4. Buy some ice cream

Go ahead and buy some ice cream. Ben and Jerry’s works. Keep some in your freezer for those nights when deployment gets a little too difficult. Don’t like ice cream? Buy some brownies or cookie mix or anything you like to have on hand during the more difficult periods of military life.

5. Fill up your calendar

Get a calendar; any will do. I prefer paper calendars, but others like to keep everything online. Whatever you use, fill up your calendar. Make plans. Look for local events, add those too. Make plans with friends. Stay busy. One of the best ways to get through this deployment is to stay busy. You are going to need to fill up that calendar to do so.

Fill up your calendar

6. Buy a journal

Writing in a journal during a deployment is a good way to have a space to get your feelings out. The best thing about it is that no one else has to see what you write. You can write out how angry you are that your husband had to deploy again or how your wife is going to miss your son’s 2nd birthday. There are so many pretty journals out there too, take a look.  (affiliate link)

7. Get some wine or Dr. Pepper, whatever works

Get some wine or Dr. Pepper or whatever your drink of choice is. You know not to go crazy with the stuff but having a glass after the kids go to bed can be very relaxing.

8. Book a trip

Plan a trip back home. Plan a vacation to visit a friend or to take your kids to Disneyland. Make these plans so that you have something to look forward to and can have fun even when your spouse is deployed. While it can be hard to travel when you have babies and smaller children, see what you can do. If you have a friend, you can travel together and help each other out with the kids as well as making make memories together.

surviving deployment

9. Plan regular get-togethers

Plan some regular get-togethers with friends. Have book club at your house every Friday night, plan to have a weekly or monthly dinner with some of your friends with deployed spouses, or plan to meet at the park every Monday to get the kids out of the house and to have some coffee with your friends. Having these regular get-togethers can make the deployment go by so much faster.

10. Buy some stationary

You are going to want to write your spouse when they get an address. Go pick out some cute stationery to send to them.  Here are some stationary ideas! (affiliate link) Love letters during a deployment are the best!

11. Go to the post office

Get yourself to the post office or order supplies online. You will want to send care packages. Some get into this and send packages with the most creative of themes. Others send packages as their spouse needs things such as baby wipes or their favorite candy.

12. Read deployment posts

There are quite a few milspouse bloggers that write about deployments. You can learn a lot from these posts as each blogger brings their own experiences about deployment to their writing. They can give you an idea of how to get through your own deployment. Here are my deployment posts for you to read.

What do you do as soon as your spouse deploys?

What a Government Shutdown Means to a Military Family

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I live in a military town, and many of the people I know here have a connection to the military in one way or another. That means that when there is a government shutdown, most of the people around here have to deal with the consequences of that.

While it seems hardly anyone in Washington even thinks about what a government shutdown means to a military family, those of us who are living it, feel the pain of the shutdown in many different ways. We already might be struggling, trying to figure out how to navigate military life and now we have an added stress upon us, until the government figures out how to fix all of this.

One of the biggest issues is, of course, pay.

Sure, active duty military will eventually get paid. But when? Luckily banks such as USAA and Navy Fed are stepping in to help.

However, those banks can’t help the emotional stress this type of thing can bring. Most people count on a regular paycheck, that is why they work. They put in their time, get paid, repeat. When there is a chance that pay can be disrupted, emotions can be all over the place.

If a service member is deployed, the idea that you wouldn’t get a regular paycheck is terrifying.

Here your spouse is, putting themselves in harm’s way, and while they are doing this the family has to stress about possibly not get paid? Why does America think this is an okay thing to do? The military should always get paid, on time, without question.

Government Shutdown

Beyond issues of pay, there are other factors we have to think about.

Here at Fort Campbell, the Commissary closed during previous government shutdowns. Now, since we do live in an American city, we have other choices, but at the same time, there are some things you can get at the Commissary for cheaper than in another grocery store in the area. While not having access to the Commissary here won’t cause anyone to starve, it can mess with a budget, especially if the government shutdown lasts a long time.

Friends who are overseas might have to deal with other issues from not getting their mail to possibly not being able to move when they need to or even to get orders that they should. In previous years, AFN services were unavailable during this time. While this does not seem like that big of a deal, it still messes with the morale of the service member and their families.

The National Guard and the Reserves can be hit hard when monthly drills, classes, and trainings are canceled.

This means less pay for the family that is probably depending on it. This means a setback for someone who is trying to further their career. This means that we will be less prepared and that is never a good thing for our country.

Beyond the military, there are other downsides to this government shutdown, with National Parks and even the Smithsonian possibly having to close to not being paid for a federal job. The shutdown causes havoc and the longer it goes on, the worse it will be.

As military spouses, we know that this life isn’t always going to be easy; no one is expecting it to be. However, when something like this happens, the added stress is a little too much, and all we really want is someone with the power to listen and fix this.

What a Government Shutdown Means to a Military Family

Stop using the military as a bargaining chip.

Make sure military pay is ALWAYS a done deal, no matter what. Understand that messing with military pay and benefits adds an extra hardship to our military families that we do not need to deal with. Whatever the debate is about, whatever is holding up the budget, take military pay and benefits out of it.

Although so few Americans are actually serving in the military, our country depends on the service of those who have decided to do so. We can’t treat them this way, we can’t let them down this way, we are better than that.

It doesn’t matter what side of the aisle you are on. It doesn’t matter who you voted for or who you support.

We all need to be on the side of making sure the military has what they need and has what they signed up for.

We need to make sure we don’t think of what is going on as normal or just the way things are. It is not okay and it should never be okay.

Resources for the 2025 government shutdown:

What Happens if There’s a Government Shutdown?

Military Families Face Pay and Benefit Uncertainty Amid Shutdown

A Military Spouse Guide to a Government Shutdown by amilitarywifeslife

Government Shutdown Assistance by Military Savings (Military Bridge)

USAA

NavyFed

What to Know About Being Stationed in Guam

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Moving to Guam may come with a range of emotions for your family. My husband was excited for the sandy beaches, clear blue water, proximity to major cities like Tokyo and Seoul, and the more laidback culture that awaited us. I was nervous to be thousands of miles and a full twenty-four hours (minimum) of travel away from my family and friends.

I worried about finding a job, a community, and a sense of “home” in a place that would feel so different from the East Coast. It’s okay to feel both ends of the emotional spectrum and to oscillate between them in the lead-up to your move; change is exciting and scary! To help build your excitement further and ease your worries, here are 5 things you should know about moving to Guam. 

What to Know About Being Stationed in Guam
  1. Life is Slower Here

Growing up on Long Island, I was used to a go-go-go lifestyle in a crowded and bustling part of the country. Guam, however, is a chance to step back and savor those stunning sunsets and take the time to just float in the ocean. The speed limit throughout the island caps off at 35mph.

Rather than seeing this as an inconvenience, enjoy the chance to look at the waves and palm trees as you listen to the radio. Mail is slow right now, and we all let out a collective groan when we get the notification that our package is being transported by boat. Sure, I miss my 2-day Amazon Prime shipping and don’t love waiting two months for a package, but it helps me plan ahead for purchases, be resourceful about finding what I need nearby, and resist the temptation to impulse shop. 

  1. A Strong Sense of Community

Whether you live on base or off, there are a lot of opportunities to create a strong community of friends and found family. With the steep prices of airline tickets and the long journey back, it’s not feasible for a lot of military families to visit the States for the holidays and special events. While homesickness is very real with those geographic barriers, know that you are very much not alone in your feelings.

Everyone is a little homesick, and we make an effort to hang out together to keep the loneliness at bay. From celebrating toddlers’ birthdays to going to trivia nights at breweries to joining a pickleball league, we have found many ways to hang out with friends and expand our circle. Military spouse Facebook groups have helped me to find book clubs and volunteer opportunities, and I love finding women who share similar interests and passions with me.

Village festivals, church fiestas, Night Markets, and the many events sponsored at Andersen Air Force Base and Naval Base Guam all help to create a sense of community and fun. 

What to Know About Being Stationed in Guam
  1. New Flavors

When you attend a festival, fiesta, Night Market, or Chamorro BBQ, you might notice some new foods and flavors. Red rice gets its color from achote seeds, but don’t worry, the red color doesn’t mean it’s spicy. KFC, surprisingly, serves some solid red rice, and it’s one of the first things I pile on my plate. Kelaguen is a similar cooking preparation to ceviche because the chosen protein is mixed with lemon juice, salt, and hot peppers. BBQ chicken, shrimp, octopus, and other fish are common meats in this. “Pika” means spicy in Chamorro, and Guam’s famous denanche’ (hot sauce) is made with donne’ peppers. My husband especially likes it when coconut crab meat is added! Familiar fruits like mangos and avocados grow on Guam, but you can also try less familiar ones like soursop and star apple. Don’t be afraid to ask vendors about the foods they’re selling or to reach out to a farmer to learn more about local dishes and produce! 

  1. New Kinds of Seasons

While you won’t get spring, fall, and winter, there are two distinct seasons in what feels like an endless summer. We moved in the height of rainy season, which stretches from July to November. Does this mean it rains all day, every day? No, but you can expect heavy rains in the afternoons and a greater chance of a typhoon.

Typhoon season is pretty similar to hurricane season, and the same preparations and precautions apply. It’s a good idea to always have flashlights, batteries, canned food, and bottled water on hand. Dry season brings cooler breezes, far less rain, and more sunny days. Guam has daily earthquakes, but the majority of them are far too small to even feel. When they are large enough to feel, they usually do not cause damage, but they did catch me by surprise! 

What to Know About Being Stationed in Guam
  1. New Hobbies

Because of Guam’s year-round tropical weather and beautiful beaches, many people take advantage of this rare opportunity to spend so much time on or near the water. Many people will become dive certified to explore the clear waters teeming with fish in the surrounding reefs. If you’re a bit less adventurous like me, you may enjoy observing a wide variety of marine life while snorkeling instead. From paddleboarding to cycling around the island to sunset yoga to waterfall hikes, there’s so many ways to enjoy the great outdoors by yourself, with your family, or with a new group of friends. Facebook groups are your friend here to find people with similar interests, and you’ll soon find your calendar filling with adventures. 

Katie McDonald is a Navy wife, and she and her husband are currently stationed in Guam. After 5 years as an English teacher, Katie is currently working as a freelance writer and enjoys writing about books and travel.. https://www.katiereads.com/

Want to write a guest post??? Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life is looking for guest posts! Have something interesting you want to write about the military spouse community? Have advice for new military spouses? Want to share about your duty station? Want to share your story? 

 If so…please fill out my Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Guest Post Form here!