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The Waiting Military Spouse

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The Waiting Military Spouse

The Waiting Military Spouse

Military spouses have to wait. This is so much a part of the military lifestyle. So much a part of our lives as military spouses.

We wait for the enlistment to go through, not really knowing how much our life could change. Not really knowing what this will mean for us, for our marriage, for our family.

We wait for the first duty station. Will we stay close to home? Will we go overseas? Will we get homesick?

We wait for the movers to come. Is everything ready? Will anything break? Are we really doing this?

We are the waiting military spouses, always waiting on something. Always trying to make the best of it. Always looking for the silver lining.

We wait to feel like this new place as home, and wonder if it might never be. We wait to find new friends, missing those back at home or a previous duty station. We wait to figure out how to find our way in this new community.

We wait on deployment orders, knowing they will come soon. We wonder how we will make it through those months apart, and how we should handle the months before they have to go. We wonder what the deployment will really be like and if we have the strength to get through.

We wait as our spouse leaves for overseas, praying they make it home again. Praying that everyone stays safe. Praying that we can get through this time apart, even if one day at a time.

We wait as the homecoming date seems to change. We wait as we have to help our children through the deployment. We wait as the days seem long, and the weeks feel even longer.

We wait during those last few weeks of deployment. We wait to get the call they are actually coming home. And we wait with a toddler on our hip as we watch the plane land or the ship come in.

We wait as things will take time to get back to normal, and we wonder if they might never actually do so. We wait as we have to work to bring our spouse back into the family dynamic, and wonder if it is as hard for us as it is for other military families.

We wait on PCS orders, taking us to a new location. We are never really sure what that new home will be like. We hope for the best, and try to take it all in stride.

We wait to work on our own careers, knowing we can’t do exactly what we want from an overseas location. We wait to start our own path because sometimes solo parenting is a little too difficult. We sometimes have to wait on our own dreams or be creative in how to pursue them through the ups and downs of military life.

As military spouses, waiting is all a part of the game. We know this, and yet sometimes, that waiting seems too hard. We have to find ways to be patient, even if that patience doesn’t come naturally. Even if that patience is difficult to find.

We wait. For our spouse. For their career. For everything military life brings us. We wait. That’s what we do. We are the waiting military spouses.

18 Ways Things Could Change to Make the Military More Family Friendly

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18 Ways Things Could Change to Make the Military More Family Friendly

We all know that in general, the military is not exactly family friendly, although sometimes they try. With FRGs, MWR events, and childcare available on installations, they are not exactly ignoring our existence.

On the other hand, with long hours, unsafe housing, and lack of help for military spouses seeking employment, there are plenty of things that could change to make the military more family friendly. Some of these changes are probably not too realistic. There could be reasons why the military does things the way it does that we simply can’t understand. However, dreaming about these positive changes is a smart thing to do.

Here are 18 ways things could change to make the military more family friendly:

1. Housing lists

One of the most frustrating things is to get orders to a new duty station, have to get on a long housing waitlist and end up not getting a home when you first get there. For some, that means living in a hotel for a month or two, for others that means renting even though they don’t want to. Wouldn’t it be nice if you never had to do that when you were PCSing? That if you wanted to live on post, you always had a place to move into?

2. Faster more streamlined orders

What if you always received your PCS orders six months before you had to be there? What if deployment orders were always given exactly three months before they left? That would make life so much easier.

3. Weight limits based more on family size, not rank

The weight limits when you PCS are a little off for bigger families. While giving people with more rank more weight allowance is good, the more people in your family, the more things you will own. Let’s take a look at how many families are going over their weight limits, how many people are in their families, and what can be changed to make things a little easier when moving with a big family.

4. Prioritize births

While having every service member be able to attend every one of their children’s births isn’t going to be possible, we could make it happen a little more often. Maybe that would be a matter of taking an earlier R&R or keeping a soldier back a few months to help on Rear D. While some units are really good about this, others are not.

5. Sick days

When a service member gets sick, they have to go into sick call to “call in sick.” Maybe service members should have a certain amount of days they can call in sick instead. While making sure a soldier is really sick and not just blowing off work is important, a limited amount of sick days wouldn’t hurt either.

6. Leadership improvements

We all know that there can be some improvements in leadership in the military. This is tricky because you need strong leadership, but you also need people who are not over the top for no reason.

18 Ways Things Could Change to Make the Military More Family Friendly

7. Training periods

When a service member goes off to training, make sure they are training for all of those days. If a soldier goes away for a month and they only need them for a week of that time, making them stay wastes money and family time. The mission comes first, but that doesn’t mean things can change to allow them to be home instead of wasting time somewhere else.

8. Travel expenses

Wouldn’t it be nice if the military would pay for one trip home a year? Ya, this is a big dream but being able to see your family on a regular basis would be a lot easier for families who are already on a tight budget. Even more so for those who are stationed overseas.

9. Customer service on post

How many times have you been on post, trying to get something done, and encounter rude behavior on the person who is supposed to be helping you? This is one of the first things I noticed about military life, and we could do better than that. Improving customer service on post will go a long way in helping morale.

10. EFMP

When you are signed up for EFMP, things can change for your service member’s career. They might not be able to go places they should be going because of the needs of the family. While in theory, this makes so much sense, it can cause families to have to live apart or frustrations over where they can PCS and where they can not. In some cases, families won’t sign up for EFMP, going without so that they can stay together.

11. Respect for female service members

We live in a modern age where women serve in the military too. They do a lot of the same jobs the men do but don’t always get the same respect. But they should.

12. Tuition assistance for all spouses

While MYCAA is great, it would be nice to have better tuition assistance for all spouses, not just those of a certain rank or wanting to pursue certain degrees. A military spouse who wants to get their Masters can benefit from tuition assistance as well.

13. PTSD help

We all know someone that is struggling with PTSD, and sometimes people fall through the cracks. We need more efficient ways to help people going through this. The suicide rate for service members and veterans is way too high.

18 Ways Things Could Change to Make the Military More Family Friendly

14. Set work hours when not in pre-deployment mode

Training before a deployment means crazy hours, but do they have to work so long when they are not about to be deployed somewhere? Wouldn’t it be nice if they were always home by 5? And how about overtime pay if they aren’t? Okay, totally dreaming there 🙂

15. Affordable or free childcare

Having to use half your paycheck for daycare sucks. You also might need some care during a deployment while you are solo parenting. Having more affordable or even free choices for childcare would be amazing.

16. Fix the VA

We all know the VA has issues, a lot of issues. Let’s fix that. So many service members are not getting everything they should be and that hurts military families too.

17. Better Command Sponsorship process

When we applied for Command Sponsorship, it took forever. A lot of it was waiting for paperwork to get signed. While I would hope things would be better these days, I still hear stories of families having to wait back in the states for months and months. That isn’t any fun, especially if you know there is going to be a deployment in the future.

18. More choice for a Pcs

Wouldn’t being able to always pick your next duty station be nice? While that is going to be impossible to make happen, maybe things could be changed to make being able to choose your next duty station happen a little more often.

While making the military more family friendly would be a lot of work, there are ways to change things. Maybe some of the things I have listed wouldn’t work at all, but they are worth discussing. There have been plenty of changes over the years that have helped military families. I am looking forward to seeing more of those in the future.

What would you add to this list???

 

 

The Pros and Cons of Life as a Military Family

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Family with toddler

Life as a Military Family

At some point in your life, you, as a military spouse, had to decide to become a part of a military family. Either you choose to marry someone in the military, someone who would be joining the military, or you and your spouse decide together that they would join the military.

If you have been a military spouse for any length of time, you already know that military life is filled with highs and lows. There are pros and cons to this lifestyle. Within the years that your spouse serves, some will be better than others.

The Pros of Life as a Military Family

Community

One of the biggest pros of being in a military family is involvement in the military community. While this may differ a little based on where you are stationed, some fantastic, close-knit military communities exist. In addition, there are support groups and other types of groups military spouses can join to find community.

Living Somewhere New

Moving every few years can come with a lot of stress, but it can also be an amazing thing to experience living in different places. You will, of course, love some places over others, but learning about new areas and cultures is a fantastic perk about being in a military family.

The Benefits

It can be easy to dismiss some benefits, but they are very much in the pro column regarding military life. TRICARE can be a significant pain sometimes, but these benefits are HUGE compared to what you might find in some civilian jobs. In addition to TRICARE, military life comes with BAH, money for housing, BAS, money for food, and access to military discounts.

Lessons Learned

During your time as a military spouse, you will learn so much. You will learn about yourself, about patience, and how to be resilient, and you will be able to accomplish more than you ever thought you would be able to do. These are life lessons you will gain and take with you for the rest of your life.

The Cons of Life as a Military Family

Being in a military family makes for a complex life. And not everything is so great. Some things about this life can be pretty tricky. Let’s talk about the cons of life as a military family:

You Probably Can’t Live Near Family

While there are times when you may be able to get stationed near family, and in some cases, they might move to where you are, for most military families, once they join the military, you will no longer be able to live close to home. This can be difficult for some people. Raising children far from grandparents, extended family never seeing you, and just feeling like you don’t have a place at home anymore can be hard to handle.

Deployments

I think we all know having to send our spouse away to war and missing them for months at a time is a big con to this life. That doesn’t mean every second of deployment will be horrible. Many positive things can come from a deployment, and at the end of the day, a deployment is what our service members train for. Still, they are never easy to overcome and can be a big con in military life.

Uncertainty

If you are a planner like me, the uncertainty of military life can drive you crazy. Even if you get orders, they could change. If you get a long-awaited date, it might not be set in stone. You must be flexible and never assume anything is 100% until after it happens.

Career Challenges For Military Spouses

When you must move often, a military spouse’s career can take a hit. Having to start over every few years is exhausting. Luckily, there are many military spouse employment resources out there to help.

It can be easy to list the pros and cons of military life, but at the end of the day, your family needs to do what is best for your spouse and your family. While the cons can feel overwhelming, the pros might just be worth continuing in this military life.

The Pros and Cons of Life as a Military Family

7 Simple Self-Care Tips to Pamper Yourself Without Leaving the House

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Awe, self-care. Something we hear about all the time. Self-care is essential, but sometimes it can feel hard to get. You have to make an effort to make time for yourself. You have to put it on your calendar, and you might need to get creative. Add in being a solo parent for months; how do you find time for self-care?

One way to find time for self-care during a deployment or during seasons of your life when you can’t always get out of the house for a bit is to find self-care ideas you can do without leaving the house. You can do things while at home when your kids are sleeping or in some cases, awake.

Here are 7 ideas:

Work on your hobbies

What do you like to do? What brings you joy? Reading? Puzzles? Baking? There are so many hobbies you can do at home. Figure out what makes you happy and get back into your own hobbies.

Grab your journal and a coffee

This can be done early in the morning or after the kid’s bedtime with some tea or drink of choice 😉 Grab your journal and start writing. Share about your day, your thoughts, or anything that comes to mind.

DIY spa day

Have your own DIY spa day. Take a nice bubble bath with Epsom salts, essential oils, or bath bombs. Use a face mask, paint your nails, light candles, and relax. Take some time to chill. Your body will thank you.

Video chat with friends

This one is best for after the kids go to bed. Grab some dinner and some wine. Set up a video chat with your bestie or other friends. Make it a weekly thing. It’s a great way to let loose and connect with others. You can also join weekly online book clubs, Bible studies, or whatever else you may find.

Binge-watch a show

Finding a show to get lost in that you can go to each night after the kids go to bed is a fantastic feeling. This is how I got through so many of those lonely deployment nights. And in today’s world? It’s so easy to find good shows to binge.

Start a garden

This is one your kids could help you with. Start a garden. Plant your favorite flowers and veggies. Playing in the dirt and planting something new can be so therapeutic. I love to watch things grow from a seed to a big old plant.

Order dinner

Sometimes, just ordering yourself a nice dinner and eating it while watching a good movie is a great way to wind down and enjoy some self-care. Celebrating a milestone or even a Friday night can be a great time to do this. Treat yourself when you can. It can make for a lovely night.

Self-care can look different for each person. What you might find relaxing, someone else might not. So, when looking for self-care ideas, try to find things that work for you. The goal of self-care is to recharge, refresh, and get to a better place.

Remember, deployment or not, make time for yourself. It’s worth it.

Is It Time To Break Up With Your Military Boyfriend?

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My dating years were a long time ago. Think of the 90s before dating apps and smartphones. I always knew I wanted to be married someday, and I met my husband when I was 22 after a couple of boyfriends who were not the right match for one reason or another.

I had never dated someone in the military but was involved in several long-distance relationships. I hated them. I didn’t want to be a part from my boyfriend. I hated feeling like half of my life was where I lived and the other half was too many miles away. And we didn’t even have the military getting in our way.

Over the years, I have met many military girlfriends. Some become spouses, and some do not. I am not sure what the key ingredient is, but I also think there are some warning signs that girlfriends need to reflect on before they get more serious with their military service members.

Whether they are dating them during a deployment or not, their boyfriend will be under a lot of stress while serving in the military. Being a military girlfriend will be challenging for even the most committed of people.

There could be reasons why you need to walk away or maybe stay, depending on your circumstances. If you have ever asked yourself, “Should I break up with my military boyfriend?” this post should help you flesh out one way or another.

Something seems fishy

If you have never met in person before, you are running the risk of being scammed. Sadly, not everyone who claims to be in the military truly is. There are scams to get unsuspecting women to send money to their military boyfriend. However, he isn’t even in the military, and his reasons for needing the money don’t make any sense.

Some examples are telling their girlfriend that the military is not giving them food or will not let them come home from Iraq or Afghanistan without buying their own plane ticket. If you are dating someone online and things seem a bit fishy, you could get scammed. Ensure that the person you are with is who they say they are.

They cheat on you

There has to be trust in a military relationship. Without trust, everything falls apart. You will have to spend time apart. You might have to go weeks or even longer without regular communication.

You have to trust that he or she will be faithful to you. They have to trust that you are going to be faithful to them. If that trust gets broken, it can be hard to repair. While there are some cases when couples can move beyond cheating, in most situations, walking away is your best option.

Your gut is telling you to

I think deep down, we always know if we should be with someone or not, even if we can’t admit that out loud. I have been the girl who sat down with a pros and cons list about my current relationship. But looking back, it was evident that was not a good relationship.

I knew that, but I wanted everything to work out. Had I listened to my gut earlier, I would have saved myself some pain. Listen to your gut, do some soul searching, and you should be able to figure out if you should be with the person you are with. When I met my husband, my gut told me that, yes, he was a good guy and worth being with, and I listened.

They are abusive

This seems obvious, but sometimes it isn’t. Emotional abuse can be easy to hide. Threatening, bullying, being too controlling, criticizing you, and trying to manipulate you are all red flags. Things are not going to get better the longer you are together.

Marriage won’t fix things but will make them worse. If you feel like you are being abused, seek help. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is a good place to start. No one deserves to be treated like this. Even if you don’t think they are being abusive, anyone who treats you like crap isn’t worth your time.

You don’t want the military lifestyle

Being a military girlfriend gives you a preview of what you will experience if you stay with your boyfriend long-term. For some, the military is going to be a 20-year career. Can you stand by them during that time? Can you see yourself as a military spouse?

If you don’t want this lifestyle, if you think it would be too difficult, it’s okay to say so and walk away. This life is a hard one. Deployments, solo parenting, and so many stressful days. That being said, even some seasoned military spouses have felt like we couldn’t get through this life, but we just keep going, one day at a time if need be.

Why you shouldn’t break up with your military boyfriend

Yes, some couples do break up. During basic training, during a deployment, or just during regular military life. However, some couples make it.

They get through the difficult parts and become a stronger couple through everything they have to go through. Some couples make the relationship work and go on to have a life together. So why shouldn’t you break up with your military boyfriend?

Because he treats you well and he is truly what you want. 

This might seem simple, but at the end of the day, if you are with someone who will treat you the way you should be treated and he is truly what you want in a boyfriend or a spouse, you can get through almost anything.

We can never know the future or what we might go through together. Life can throw you so many curveballs. Be committed and know that you can handle this military life if you want to be with him.

What advice would you give to someone dating someone in the military?

What Military Spouses Should Know About PERSEC and How to Stay Safe Online

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Let’s Talk About PERSEC!

Social media is a fantastic thing. We didn’t always have it. I remember when we first got the internet. I was 16 years old, and the idea that I could talk with people in other parts of the country and the world was amazing. I could log on and chat with someone from Texas, even though I was in California.

Social media has evolved over the years and is now an integral part of our military life experience. We talk with our spouses on social media when they are overseas, we make military spouse friends through groups and pages, and we stay in contact with family and friends.

Social media is a good thing, but we need to have limits, especially as military spouses.

OPSEC (Operations Security) is a vital part of staying safe. There are certain things you can not say on social media. Learning about OPSEC is essential for any military spouse.

Beyond OPSEC is PERSEC. PERSEC isn’t as strict as OPSEC, and it is up to each military service member and their families to figure out what to say and what not to say.

PERSEC and the Military Spouse

PERSEC stands for Personal Security and is about staying safe, especially when posting online.

Rank and other details

As a rule, don’t share your service member’s rank. If you post a photo in uniform, put a sticker over the rank. Facebook makes this pretty easy these days. Sharing rank can be more information than you want to give out. You never know who is going to read your post or see your photos, even if you do share them privately.

Location

Be wise about sharing your location. Since we as military spouses want to find community, sharing your duty station is common in social media settings. In some ways, you can’t avoid doing so, especially if you connect with local pages and friends. But be wise about sharing your exact locations. Don’t share photos of your house. Don’t post your address publicly.

When you go out and do things in your community, be aware of what you are posting. It is better to post about where you are after the fact. That way, you can still share what you have done without letting your location be known. Be careful about sharing your regular schedule. Posts like “Checking in for my Tuesday yoga class” can be dangerous when you add your location.

Double-check the location settings on your phone so people won’t be able to see your exact location.

PERSEC and the Military Spouse

Privacy Settings

Check your privacy settings. On Facebook, go into your settings and make sure what you are sharing publically is what you want to show the world. You can check by “viewing your profile as…public.” You can also go back and make all of your previous public posts private. Do a double-check on your photos. Your profile photo is always going to be public. There is no way to change that, so make sure that your photo is what you want the world to see.

If you are in a lot of Facebook groups, more people are going to check out your profile page. Protect yourself by limiting what they can see. Make sure only friends can view your friend’s list. Don’t make that information public. And be very careful about who you friend online. Someone can easily pretend to be someone they are not to get personal information from you.

Sharing your life

When sharing your life on social media, take a moment to think about what others see. What would they be able to tell about you? What would they be able to figure out about your kids? Could they figure out where they go to school? Do they know personal information about them that they shouldn’t?

Post after the fact

One tip for those who do like to share about their lives is to consistently post about stuff after the fact. Some people only share vacation photos after they get home. This can be one way to make sure no one knows you are not at home and that no one knows where you are.

PERSEC and the Military Spouse

Talk with your spouse

Most importantly, talk to your spouse about PERSEC and what they feel comfortable with. They might not want you to post anything about them on social media. They might not want you to post anything about your kids. You need to talk this over to be on the same page.

PERSEC can be very individual, but it’s necessary to be aware of what you are posting about on social media. Not everyone who sees what you post is a good person, and you want to stay safe.

What tips do you have about sticking to PERSEC as a military spouse?

7 Fantastic Ways to Use Social Media to Help You Improve Your Military Spouse Life

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Oh, social media. We love social media, but we hate social media. Between Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, it can feel like we are always “on” to the world. And that can be a bit overwhelming and quickly take over our lives. However, when social media is used as a tool, the platforms can be a great way to improve our lives as military spouses.

Military spouses move often and meet new people all the time. We make a lot of connections, but we don’t always get to live near them, or if we do, it is for a limited amount of time. Social media allows us to stay connected in ways we might not otherwise be able to. Social media can also give us access to resources and people we might not otherwise have been able to connect to.

When you first become a military spouse, this life can be overwhelming. You can use social media to help you in your military spouse life. Here are 7 ways to do so:

Stay connected to friends

My first experience with social media was with Myspace. Remember Tom and how you could pick your top 8? Talk about pressure! Back then, we military spouses would connect on Myspace, share photos from the day, and figure out the best music to describe precisely what we felt.

These days, we are all on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. And while these platforms are all different than Myspace ever was, we can still stay connected to our friends using them. When we meet someone new, get to know them, and want to connect, adding one another on social media seems like the best thing to do.

By doing so, we are always connected. And when those PCS orders come, we can still stay connected, no matter where military life might take us.

Asian woman looking at her phone

Stay connected to family

One of the hardest parts of military life can be having to live so far away from family. We don’t get to see them regularly and have to stay in touch over the miles. Social media can be a great way to do this. One of the accounts I set up for myself is a private Instagram account where I am connected to my closest friends and family. This makes sharing photos and what we are doing with a select few easy and helps our families stay connected.

Join a local group

When you first get those PCS orders, and they seem like they are pretty much going to stick, you probably want to start joining local groups for your new area. Doing so allows you to ask questions, get to know what is happening in that area, and give you a running start into your new community.

Learn about resources

There are so many military spouse resources out there, from blogs like this one to organizations like Military OneSource. And all of them have social media accounts. Connect with these military spouse resources over social media, and you will have access to all these resources, from advice about deployments to help finding a new job.

Find out about military spouse talk shows and podcasts

Did you know there is a military spouse talk show out there? MilSpouse Conversations is a diverse panel of military spouses who talk about…well, everything, from PCSing to parenting to all the things that are important to you! Follow MilSpouse Conversations on social!

You can also find other military spouse podcasts like MilSpouse Matters and The Spouse Angle. Podcasts are easy to listen to and can bring you a wealth of information, tips, and resources for your military spouse life.

Find out about events in your community

One of the best tips I can give any military spouse in this life is to make sure you find things you love to do and stay busy. Not having enough to do causes boredom, and that’s when life can get a little more difficult. One of the best ways to find things to do is to find out what events are going on in your own community.

I am in the Fort Campbell area, so if I follow the pages for the local city of Clarksville, Fort Campbell MWR, and other local pages and groups, I will have a steady stream of events in my feed. This gives me lots of options to fill out my calendar.

Entertainment

Let’s face it: there is a lot of entertainment on social media. You can find videos on every topic these days. From your favorite TV show, I think I am on Outlander TikTok, to what you like to read or where you like to travel. Be aware of how much time you are on social media, and enjoy what it has to offer.

Social media is a tool, and we can use it to improve our lives whether we are brand new to this life or are a seasoned spouse.

What are your favorite ways to use social media as a military spouse?

7 Fantastic Ways to Use Social Media to Help You Improve Your Military Spouse Life

The First Night After the Deployment is Over

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You have waited for months and months, and the day is finally here.

Homecoming…

The deployment is over, and you will get your spouse back…after so much time apart.

If you have never been through a deployment or homecoming before, you might be asking yourself how that first night will go after the deployment is over. For months now, you have joked with your friends about how that will be and how exciting having your spouse back in your arms again will feel. You have some idea of how things will go, but you still might not really be sure.

What if he is different?

What if she is simply too tired?

What if both of us have changed too much?

And as the day to homecoming draws near, this might be something you worry about. And that is natural, especially if your service member has been gone for a while. You don’t know what to expect or what that first night home after the deployment is over will be like.

Here are a few things to think about as your homecoming day approaches:

Talk about expectations

One thing you can do before the deployment is over is talk about your expectations for that first night. Find out what both of you are expecting and go from there. You can get on the same page about that first night before they even board a plane.

Everyone is different. After a deployment, what works for my husband and me might not work for you and your spouse. Talking about this isn’t going to hurt anything and can save you from hurt feelings and disappointment once the deployment is over.

Give them space

You might need to give your spouse some space. Think about how they have been in a war zone with their battle buddies for all these months, and now they are returning home. Things will be very strange for them, and they might need to adjust.

Your soldier or other service member might not want to come home to a long to-do list. There will be time to get back into normal life later. And that might depend on your spouse’s personality and how the deployment went for them.

Enjoy each other

If the mood is right, have fun with your spouse. Get to know yourselves intimately again. Being together might probably feel strange right at first; you might be nervous too, but that is okay.

A lot of couples decide to try for a baby right after a deployment, if this what you want to do, make sure you talk about your plans before they get home. That way, you are on the same page, and there will be no surprises that first night.

Plan for the kids and other family members

If you have children, have a plan for what you will do as a family after your spouse is home. Will you all go out to dinner? Have a nice meal at home? Make plans to see other family?

Most spouses want to bring their kids to the homecoming ceremony, but some like to see their spouse first and have the kids see them the next day. Do what feels right for your family. Sometimes, homecoming ceremonies can be in the middle of the night, and not every child can handle that. Sometimes, a fun surprise with the kids the next day can be just as amazing.

In addition to the kids, you might run into other family members who want to see your spouse too. This can be tricky because you will want your spouse to yourself. Make sure expectations are talked about before homecoming. Things can get heated when you have planned a romantic dinner at home, but your mother-in-law has invited 50 people to her house for a welcome home dinner.

Post Deployment Resources

The reintegration period isn’t always roses and sunshine. This can be difficult for both the service member and military spouse. If you or your service member are struggling, here are some resources for you to help get to a better place.

If you are going through a deployment now or will be soon, make sure to visit the surviving deployment section on my blog for more posts to help you through.

The First Night After the Deployment is Over