Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

military life

Is Rank Really An Issue When It Comes To Making Friends As A Military Spouse?

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Did you ever watch Army Wives? You know how those military spouses are all such good friends despite their spouses’ rank? Is that even possible? Well, yes, and no.

While there are some cases when two spouses probably wouldn’t be friends because of rank, I think, for the most part, spouses don’t care. I would question the level of friendship between some of those characters on Army Wives, but in the end, I think they could all be friendly with one another if nothing else.

There are very few military spouses who ask a potential friend what their spouse’s rank is before they decide to befriend them. In my real-life experience of being an Army wife, usually, a spouse’s rank comes out but it is not something that you use to evaluate a friendship.

Usually, the conversation goes something like this, “we are PCSing to Fort Campbell and I wonder what E-5 housing is like” or, “once he goes to such and such a school, he will make E-7.” It is usually never, “Well, I can only be friends with spouses of E-6 and above.”

Rank is brought up as a simple fact of their service member’s time in the military, not something to rub in someone else’s face.

Rank shouldn’t be used to bring other people down and make them feel less than. Among us spouses, rank isn’t or shouldn’t be a big issue.

This isn’t to say that no one out there is like that, I am sure you could find someone who thinks that way. But in my experience, these people are not the norm.

You know why? Because most military spouses are really just trying to make friends. We all pretty much want the same thing, to be included, to find our people, and to have fun along the way.

We don’t care what your spouse does, we just want to know that you can relate to being a military spouse, at least in one way or another.

We don’t care how high up your spouse is, we just want to know that you have days when you miss them just as much as we miss our own and that we can laugh about that together.

We don’t care if there is an E by their rank or an O, we just want to know that we are not the only ones serving cereal for dinner sometimes and that feel overwhelmed by too many deployments.

Going through military life alone isn’t the best way to go and finding friends wherever you live is going to make this life a lot easier. Finding your people is going to help you through those lonely nights and crazy mornings. Knowing someone has your back is going to give you the bit of peace you need for this military lifestyle.

So if you are a new military spouse, try not to worry about people not wanting to friend you because of your spouse’s rank. I can’t promise that won’t happen, there are going to be those people out there. But I do know that most of us don’t care about that.

We want to know what your hobbies are, how old your kids are, what you like to read, what you like to watch, what your dreams are, what your fears are, and so on. 

And with time you will find the ones you will walk through this life with. The ones that will make you a better person. The ones you will befriend and have in your life from here on out.

Making friends as a military spouse is a must, no matter what rank your spouse might be. If you are new to your duty station, get out there and see what is going on. Figure out places to go to meet other spouses. Join your local spouse’s groups, and work towards finding those friendships. Doing so will be worth your time.

What do you think? Have you ever had trouble making friends because of your spouse’s rank? What did you do about it?

Jealousy, When You Are a Military Spouse

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Jealousy, When You Are a Military Spouse

During my time as a military spouse, I have experienced a variety of emotions. Happiness during homecoming. Sadness during a deployment. Getting excited about a new duty station or promotion. Loneliness when a friend moves away.

There are a lot of different emotions we feel during the time that our spouse is serving in the Military. One emotion that we can feel, even if we don’t want to, is jealousy.

Jealousy can happen when you least expect it. Jealousy can happen over a deployment schedule, a promotion, a pcs, or just life in general. You can be happy for someone and still feel that green-eyed monster creep up. When you are waiting for something to happen, and that very thing you are waiting for happens to someone else, you can feel jealousy coming up.

I have felt this way over the years. I feel bad when I do. I have felt this way when I felt like my husband was always deploying and others were not.

I have felt this way when someone else seemed to be holding it together better than I was.

I have felt this way over little silly things that I would never want to share with anyone.

Jealousy happens, but what we do with those feelings is what really matters.

One big lesson I have learned over the years is that military life simply isn’t fair. Some people deploy more than others. Promotions don’t always happen even if it feels like they should and some people get better duty stations than others.

Sometimes you are going to be surrounded by good friends and other times you will be the lonely one still trying to make new friends since your old friends moved away. Military life can often be one big cycle.

Some years are going to be better than others. That is the nature of Military life.

Want a free Guide for the First 30 Days of a Deployment???

If you are feeling jealous of someone else, know that it can happen, especially in Military spouse life when we know so much about what other people are doing. When our community is so small.

Maybe your spouse just left again, and theirs just got home, and that is causing you to feel jealous. Think about the times when you were experiencing what they were. Think about how you will be in their place in the future.

Try not to let everything get to you and remember that by the time you are getting ready for homecoming, they could be getting ready to send their spouse off again. You never really know.

Think about everything you have and all the amazing experiences you have been through in the past. Remember that even if it feels like everyone else has more than you do, others have less.

Try not to let jealousy rule you. Focus on what is going well in your life and work on what you don’t like. Let go of anything you don’t have control over. It simply isn’t worth your energy if you can’t do anything about it anyway.

The feeling of jealousy can creep up on you, but you don’t have to let jealousy win. Take a step back, write about what you are feeling in your journal, and know that seasons change all the time during military life. One moment you are in the midst of another deployment and the other you are on a family vacation celebrating their return.

Do you ever struggle with jealousy? What do you do about it when the green-eyed monster hits?

Morgan Freeman Served in the United States Air Force

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Whether you know him from his roles in Driving Miss Daisy, The Shawshank Redemption, or more recently, Now You See Me, you are aware of Morgan Freeman’s exceptional acting abilities. In addition to his vast acting accomplishments, Morgan Freeman also served in the military. In the US Air Force.

Joining the Military

Morgan Freeman was born on June 1, 1937, in Memphis, TN. He was the son of a teacher and a barber and moved around a bit as a child. He lived in Mississippi, Indiana, and Chicago.

When he graduated from high school in 1955, he turned down a partial drama scholarship to Jackson State University to enlist in the Air Force. While serving, he was an Automatic Tracking Radar Repairman. Morgan Freeman served from 1955 to 1959 and rose to the rank of Airman First Class.

His Acting Years

Although he had his first acting role in a school play at the age of nine, it was after his military service that he moved to Los Angeles and began taking acting classes. His first Broadway debut was in 1967 with an all-black version of Hello, Dolly!

In 1971, he starred in a PBS Children’s TV show, The Electric Company. His first credit in a feature film was also in 1971, with Who Says I Can’t Ride a Rainbow. However, it was in 1989, when he appeared in four movies, Glory, Driving Miss Daisy, Lean on Me, and Johnny Handsome, that he really started to gain popularity.

The 88-year-old actor then went on to star in memorable roles in the 1990s, such as The Shawshank Redemption, Se7en, and Kiss the Girls. In total, Morgan Freeman has 152 acting roles, 23 producing roles, and two directorial roles on IMDb.

Most recently, you can find him in the TV show Lioness, as well as the Now You See Me: Now You Don’t movie, coming out later this year. He has been married twice, although now divorced, and has four children.

Image Credit: Georges Biard, CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Save 30% On Shoes With the Adidas Military Discount

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Save 30% On Shoes With the Adidas Military Discount

Clothing, including shoes, can get expensive. Finding a good military discount is a plus. At Adidas, you can save 30% on shoes and sports clothing for men, women, and children. Save 15% at their factory outlet stores as well.

History of Adidas

Adidas was born in a small town in Bavaria, Germany. In a laundry room, of all places. Adi Dassler began making sports shoes after his return from World War I in his mother’s laundry room. It was in 1924 that he went into the business with his brother, Rudolf, which they called Gebrüder Dassler Schuhfabrik. The company created shoes for different athletic events and gained popularity when US sprinter Jesse Owens wore them in the 1936 Summer Olympics.

The brothers ended up splitting up the business due to a personal rift in 1948. Rudolf’s company became Puma, while Adi’s company became Adidas. During the 1950s, the company experienced growth as soccer players adopted their lightweight, cleat-equipped shoes. They expanded into clothing in the 1960s, as well as soccer balls.

The company has undergone numerous changes over the years, and today you can shop online, in one of their stores, or at their factory outlets.

The Adidas Military Discount

The Adidas Military Discount is available to active-duty military personnel, as well as their spouses and dependents. Yay! Veterans and retirees also qualify. In addition to the military, the same discount is available to medical professionals, first responders, nurses, and teachers.

The discount is for 30% off both in-store and online shopping. You can also receive 15% off at their factory outlet stores. You will need to be verified with ID.me. There are some exclusions on specific brands, such as Disney and Human Made. Please check the details for a complete list.

Looking for more military discounts? Check out The Military Spouse’s Directory Of Military Discounts!

All military discounts are subject to change at any point. Please visit the Adidas website for the most up-to-date information!

Save 30% On Shoes With the Adidas Military Discount

Not All Military Housing is Created Equal, and Other Truths About Military Spouse Life

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I never thought I would be a military spouse. When I met my husband, he was 25 and had already served a few years in the Army. Little did I know that life would lead him back to the military, and make me a military spouse.

There have been so many surprises along the way, and I have learned so much. Here are just a few truths about military spouse life. Can you relate?

You might be told X will happen, but that doesn’t mean it will

There have been so many times when military plans have changed. From deployments to trainings to appointments. Military life is all about change. Nothing is ever set in stone, and it is probably best to assume nothing will happen a certain way until it actually does.

Military life isn’t fair!

Your spouse might deploy a lot more than other spouses. You might not ever end up at the “best” duty stations. Some service members take longer to promote than others. The best thing to do is to celebrate when you are the one to get good news and be humble when you see that your friend or neighbor has not.

Not all military housing is created equal

I cried when we moved into our orange duplex at our 2nd duty station in Germany. That house was amazing! And to think we got that excellent house just because we moved to a new duty station, not because of a change of rank or position. That the two homes could be so different was unbelievable to me. Some housing is much better than others, and that can be a frustrating reality of military life.

You will grow without your spouse by your side

During military life, you and your spouse will grow and change. Everyone does. Sometimes, this will happen when they are not home. During a deployment, you can grow and change, and because you have, life can be a bit of a challenge once your spouse gets home. Remember this during the redeployment period, and remember why you decided to be together in the first place.

Your parenting will look a little different

Survival mode is very real and sometimes being in survival mode means you let things go and your parenting will change because of that. Try not to let this get you down, real-life sometimes doesn’t mix with our ideals. Do your best and at the end of the day, give yourself some grace.

You will surprise yourself

During the last 15 years, I have done things I never thought I could. I have been stretched and strengthened because of everything I have been through. Military life will mold you into the person you are meant to be. And you will look back and might be surprised about everything you have had to go through to get there.

When military life is over, you might not want to leave

As much as you think you are ready to leave military life behind, doing so isn’t as easy as you think the transition will be. You might find yourself missing parts of military life and wondering why you and your spouse decided that chapter must be closed. You might get upset that your spouse had to leave because of medical issues. Give yourself time to adjust to the after military lifestyle.

The “worst” duty station might be your favorite

A few duty stations out there have the reputation of being the worst place you could get stationed. Places you really don’t want to go, and for a lot of them, there is a good reason for that. But sometimes, the “worst” duty station may be your favorite place.

Maybe you have figured out how to bloom where you are planted, or maybe you just made some amazing friends, but for whatever reason, you will always look back at that duty station as some of the best years of your military life.

How long have you been a military spouse? What have you learned along the way?

The Military Spouse

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The Military Spouse

The military spouse, the one who has chosen to stand beside a soldier, a marine, an airman, a coastie, a guardian, or a sailor. To go with them from place to place. To support them through their career choice, and beyond.

The military spouse, whose dreams of married life probably looked a little different than they are now. She thought they could buy a house down the street from her family. He thought she would always be home with him. The military spouse, whose reality is far from the expected.

The military spouse, who finds herself on an airplane with a toddler, traveling to her new home in Germany. The military spouse, whose children will be born in three different states, and two different countries. The military spouse, who gave birth with her mom by her side, instead of her partner, wishing things didn’t have to be this way.

The military spouse is told she or he is strong, but the truth is, sometimes we don’t feel that way. Sometimes we feel like we weren’t cut out to make it in this life. Sometimes we feel like the burden is too heavy, and the stress is too much.

We see how much our spouse loves what they do, whether it is going to the desert, or living on a ship. Whether it is flying an airplane, or working as a mechanic. Whatever they do in the military, we know this was the right choice, and we want to stand by their decision, even if doing so is hard.

When you marry someone who wants to serve their country by serving in the military, you also have to know that you have married someone that will have a unique job. You will have to understand that many of your friends might not get the life.

“Why can’t you guys come home for Christmas?”

“Can’t he tell them he doesn’t want to go?”

“I could never do it”

But you figure out pretty quickly that this military life is your life. And while your civilian friends might not be able to relate to everything you are going through, you know that they can be there for you, just like you can be there for them, for whatever they are going through.

The military spouse will have to go days, weeks, and even months apart from your loved one. And for some, even years. We have to solo parent, making decisions alone that would normally be made by both parents. We have to step in and step up when it isn’t always easy to do so.

The military spouse finds themselves on a journey they couldn’t have dreamed of. We find ourselves having all these adventures, from living down the street from an actual castle to finding friends that are more like family, going through life together, even if it is virtually.

The military spouse lives their military life the best way they can. Not all military spouses are the same, and we all bring our individual likes and dislikes, personalities, and gifts to the community. We can help one another out, be the community we need, and grow through our challenges together.

The military spouse is a part of a community that goes beyond anything they could have imagined. Because of this life a military spouse can say they literally have friends around the world.

The military spouse may have to wait, and that is always a difficult thing to do. But they also get to say hello again, running into their lover’s arms. They can grow through the challenges, and can find unique and creative ways to get through the deployments and other times part.

The military spouse may have to move every few years. That is not going to be easy to do. But by doing so they can learn about different parts of the country and world. They can bloom where they are stationed, and create and find community wherever they go.

The military spouse is the heart of the home. The constant in the changing waters of military life. The one who tries to pull everything all together.

The military spouse doesn’t always feel strong but can find ways to get through it all. Taking each challenge day-by-day, and reminding themselves that this is their life, and it can be a good one, filled with lots of fun memories, seasons of growth, and many amazing friends.

Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

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Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

I can’t help but look back over the years as a military spouse and think about the people I’ve met. How some of them have this military life down pat, and others struggle a little bit more. My heart is with the military community and will always be, no matter how many years take me away from my personal experience with this life.

From when their spouse first leaves for boot camp until they try to make their way through the transition back to civilian life, we military spouses have to go through situations that others do not.

We put our spouse on an airplane and send them off to one of the most dangerous places in the world. We do this, holding the hands of our children who don’t quite understand why Daddy or Mommy has to be away for so long. We do this knowing they have a dangerous job and they might not come back. We do this because deep down we know that support our spouse is what we must do, through this crazy military life.

We, military spouses, make friends with people from all over the country and the world. We might be coming from different places with different backgrounds but we have one thing in common, the love of our service member and the desire to support them throughout their career. I might have grown up in California and you might have grown up in Alaska but we can bond over our love of books and the craziness of raising children in the military world.

We, military spouses, might have to move to the middle of nowhere, away from anything we have ever known.

We might have to give up our own career, even if just for a few years. We might feel a bit lost not knowing what we should be focusing on during this time of our lives. But this just gives us a reason to think outside the box and figure out a way to make our dreams come true, even within the military lifestyle.

We, military spouses, have to learn how to adjust even when we really don’t want to. We might love where we are stationed and then one day our spouse comes home and tells us we are moving to the other side of the country, in a place we never wanted to go. We have to bloom where we are stationed but sometimes that is easier than others, especially if there is a beach nearby.

Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

We, military spouses, get to go places and see things we would never have had our spouse never joined the military.

I have a child that was born in Germany! Another country! Sometimes I think about that and take a step back in this crazy life that we made just because of my husband enlisted one day in 2005.

We, military spouses, have seen hardships. We have seen friends lose their husbands, either to war or years later to something else. We have seen marriages that seemed so strong fall apart.

We, military spouses, have seen our own husbands act differently than we ever thought they would. The fact is, war changes people and when your husband has been to war, he will change. Some service members handle these changes better than others. Some don’t handle them at all.

And yet, the military spouse tries her best to support her spouse through everything, even as things do not go as planned.

When I meet new military spouses, I want to hug them. And I am not a big hugger. I want to let them know that this life they started is going to be a crazy one but in a lot of ways, it will also be a good one.

They might not be the same person five or ten years from now but because of this crazy military life they will grow and will most likely become a better person through everything they have to deal with. That this military life will not always be easy, that they might cry a lot and that friends will come and go. That their faith will be shaken and made stronger. That their ideas about marriage and even motherhood will be shaken to the core.

Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

If you are a new military spouse, know that you are now a part of a strong community that wants to help you through what you will encounter in the years to come. If you are not such a new military spouse, know that what you have been through has made you stronger and will allow you to help others in the future. Don’t be afraid to share your stories and your experiences, they can help.

Living the Crazy Military Spouse Life, One Day at a Time

As you are living your military spouse life, take it one day at a time if you need to. And remember, you are stronger than you think.

5 Truths About Finding Community When You Feel Alone

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5 Truths About Finding Community When You Feel Alone

Moving every few years means you have to find a new friend base every few years, which can be complicated. You can and should keep in touch with friends across the miles. These friends might live in your phone the rest of your life, but those relationships are important. However, finding your people where you live is important too.

But getting out there, getting rejected, or feeling like you might be alone can make finding friends more difficult. The truth is, finding your people isn’t always easy. Sometimes, it can take a lot of time and work, and that can be emotionally exhausting.

Here are some truths about finding community when you do feel alone:

It won’t look the same every time

At some duty stations, you might find your people right away. Only to move and have it take forever to do the same somewhere else. This is just how life works. Don’t give up hope if it is harder than it used to be. Your people are still out there.

You’re allowed to grieve your last community

Leaving a community you love is disappointing, and it’s okay to grieve that. You don’t want to let it keep you from trying in your new home, but it is okay to be sad about having to move away from it.

You might have to make the first move

I know, I know. This is the hard part. But you might have to make the first move with a potential new friendship. You may need to reach out and ask if you want to meet for coffee, a playdate, or even a night out without the kids. This can be hard to do, but it can also be the opening to a wonderful friendship.

Friendships for a season

Some friendships might be for a season. What happens if you meet someone with only a few months left at your new duty station? They can still be worth friending even if you won’t live in the same place for long. Making friends can lead to other friends and connections. And even just a few months is enough time to make fun memories.

People are always coming and going in the military community, so don’t shy away from meeting people who might not physically be around for long. You can still keep in touch, and you might be surprised by how your friendship can develop, even across the miles.

You are worthy of friendship, no matter who you are

You are worthy of finding friends, your people, and your community. You won’t always connect with everyone, and that’s okay. You may have to put yourself out there more than you want to, but finding those people can all be worth it.

Military life is hard, and being able to do it with people by your side makes it all so much easier. Even if it doesn’t look how you want it to look for a season. Remember, things change, and you never know what the next day, week, month, or year might bring.

5 Truths About Finding Community When You Feel Alone