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7 Things to Do When You Feel Like Military Life is Way Too Hard

October 28, 2025 by Julie Leave a Comment

7 Things to Do When You Feel Like Military Life is Way Too Hard

Look, we have all been there. Your spouse comes home with some news. It isn’t good.

They moved up the deployment. They canceled your orders to a duty station near home. They didn’t make a promotion.

Whatever it might be, things can happen during military life that can feel like a punch in the gut. It hurts badly. And you can feel like you can’t do it anymore.

So what should you do when you feel like military life is way too hard? What can you do if your spouse’s enlistment isn’t over for years, or if they really want to make a career out of the military? What do you do when you can’t simply walk away from this crazy, stressful life?

1) Make sure you have some goals of your own

You want to make sure you always have your own goals to work on. That’s super important. Whether they are educational, career-related, or just personal. You matter too.

2) Make a bucket list of your duty station

Every duty station has something good about it, even if it is hard to see. Get on the internet, start googling, and make a bucket list for your area. You might not even realize what is around you.

3) Commit to trying one new thing a week, even if it is scary

Are there any groups in your area you can check out? Maybe you met someone and need to follow up with them to plan a coffee date? Commit to trying something new every week. You never know what might happen, and it can help take your mind off the military stuff.

4) Remember, you don’t have to love military life every minute of every day to support your service member

This is the truth of it. Sometimes the military makes you so mad. And it is okay to be angry with them. It doesn’t make you less of a military spouse if that is how you feel.

5) Plan a vacation

Sometimes you need a break. See if you can plan a vacation. Even if it is just for a weekend. Even if it is months from now.

6) Focus on the positives of this life

I know, I know, that IS hard to do when you are staring another deployment in the face too soon after they got home from the last one. But think about all the things you have been able to do, all the amazing people you have met, and all that can be done during your life as a military spouse.

7) Vent to a friend

It’s okay to vent to a friend. We all need that sometimes. Find someone who can be understanding, even if they are not a military spouse themselves. Venting to a non-judgmental person can be a great way to work through your feelings about an issue.

In some cases, it may be helpful to take it a step further and talk to a professional about how you are feeling. This life can be really hard sometimes. You don’t have to do it without the help that you need.

7 Things to Do When You Feel Like Military Life is Way Too Hard

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military, military life, military spouse

12 Things You Must Do As Soon As Your Spouse Deploys

October 7, 2025 by Julie

12 Things You Must Do As Soon As Your Spouse Deploys

12 Things You Must Do As Soon As Your Spouse Deploys

Your spouse just deployed. What now? What are you supposed to do? Here are 12 things you must do as soon as your spouse deploys.

1. Have a good cry

If you feel like you need to cry, do so. Put on a Disney video for your kids, go into your room, and let it all out. Then pick yourself back up, and plan for the rest of your deployment. For a lot of people, crying is a way to get all the sadness out. And having a good cry can get you in a better place so don’t be afraid to do so.

2. Call your mom

Call your mom. She can be there for you. You can also call your mother-in-law, your sister, or anyone you know that will lend a listening ear. The start of a deployment can be pretty shocking. You have to get used to your new normal, and that will take some time. Reach out to someone and let them know what is going on.

Surviving deployment

3. List your support system

Make a list of your support system. This sounds silly but having a list of who you can count on when your spouse is deployed is a good idea. List people you can call to get together with, those who you can call if you need help with childcare, or those you simply want to be around. The sad truth is not everyone is going to be supportive so spend your time with those who will be, whether they are civilians or other military spouses.

4. Buy some ice cream

Go ahead and buy some ice cream. Ben and Jerry’s works. Keep some in your freezer for those nights when deployment gets a little too difficult. Don’t like ice cream? Buy some brownies or cookie mix or anything you like to have on hand during the more difficult periods of military life.

5. Fill up your calendar

Get a calendar; any will do. I prefer paper calendars, but others like to keep everything online. Whatever you use, fill up your calendar. Make plans. Look for local events, add those too. Make plans with friends. Stay busy. One of the best ways to get through this deployment is to stay busy. You are going to need to fill up that calendar to do so.

Fill up your calendar

6. Buy a journal

Writing in a journal during a deployment is a good way to have a space to get your feelings out. The best thing about it is that no one else has to see what you write. You can write out how angry you are that your husband had to deploy again or how your wife is going to miss your son’s 2nd birthday. There are so many pretty journals out there too, take a look.  (affiliate link)

7. Get some wine or Dr. Pepper, whatever works

Get some wine or Dr. Pepper or whatever your drink of choice is. You know not to go crazy with the stuff but having a glass after the kids go to bed can be very relaxing.

8. Book a trip

Plan a trip back home. Plan a vacation to visit a friend or to take your kids to Disneyland. Make these plans so that you have something to look forward to and can have fun even when your spouse is deployed. While it can be hard to travel when you have babies and smaller children, see what you can do. If you have a friend, you can travel together and help each other out with the kids as well as making make memories together.

surviving deployment

9. Plan regular get-togethers

Plan some regular get-togethers with friends. Have book club at your house every Friday night, plan to have a weekly or monthly dinner with some of your friends with deployed spouses, or plan to meet at the park every Monday to get the kids out of the house and to have some coffee with your friends. Having these regular get-togethers can make the deployment go by so much faster.

10. Buy some stationary

You are going to want to write your spouse when they get an address. Go pick out some cute stationery to send to them.  Here are some stationary ideas! (affiliate link) Love letters during a deployment are the best!

11. Go to the post office

Get yourself to the post office or order supplies online. You will want to send care packages. Some get into this and send packages with the most creative of themes. Others send packages as their spouse needs things such as baby wipes or their favorite candy.

12. Read deployment posts

There are quite a few milspouse bloggers that write about deployments. You can learn a lot from these posts as each blogger brings their own experiences about deployment to their writing. They can give you an idea of how to get through your own deployment. Here are my deployment posts for you to read.


What do you do as soon as your spouse deploys?

Filed Under: Deployment Tagged With: Deployment, military life, milspouse life

What a Government Shutdown Means to a Military Family

October 3, 2025 by Julie

I live in a military town, and many of the people I know here have a connection to the military in one way or another. That means that when there is a government shutdown, most of the people around here have to deal with the consequences of that.

While it seems hardly anyone in Washington even thinks about what a government shutdown means to a military family, those of us who are living it, feel the pain of the shutdown in many different ways. We already might be struggling, trying to figure out how to navigate military life and now we have an added stress upon us, until the government figures out how to fix all of this.

One of the biggest issues is, of course, pay.

Sure, active duty military will eventually get paid. But when? Luckily banks such as USAA and Navy Fed are stepping in to help.

However, those banks can’t help the emotional stress this type of thing can bring. Most people count on a regular paycheck, that is why they work. They put in their time, get paid, repeat. When there is a chance that pay can be disrupted, emotions can be all over the place.

If a service member is deployed, the idea that you wouldn’t get a regular paycheck is terrifying.

Here your spouse is, putting themselves in harm’s way, and while they are doing this the family has to stress about possibly not get paid? Why does America think this is an okay thing to do? The military should always get paid, on time, without question.

Government Shutdown

Beyond issues of pay, there are other factors we have to think about.

Here at Fort Campbell, the Commissary closed during previous government shutdowns. Now, since we do live in an American city, we have other choices, but at the same time, there are some things you can get at the Commissary for cheaper than in another grocery store in the area. While not having access to the Commissary here won’t cause anyone to starve, it can mess with a budget, especially if the government shutdown lasts a long time.

Friends who are overseas might have to deal with other issues from not getting their mail to possibly not being able to move when they need to or even to get orders that they should. In previous years, AFN services were unavailable during this time. While this does not seem like that big of a deal, it still messes with the morale of the service member and their families.

The National Guard and the Reserves can be hit hard when monthly drills, classes, and trainings are canceled.

This means less pay for the family that is probably depending on it. This means a setback for someone who is trying to further their career. This means that we will be less prepared and that is never a good thing for our country.

Beyond the military, there are other downsides to this government shutdown, with National Parks and even the Smithsonian possibly having to close to not being paid for a federal job. The shutdown causes havoc and the longer it goes on, the worse it will be.

As military spouses, we know that this life isn’t always going to be easy; no one is expecting it to be. However, when something like this happens, the added stress is a little too much, and all we really want is someone with the power to listen and fix this.

What a Government Shutdown Means to a Military Family

Stop using the military as a bargaining chip.

Make sure military pay is ALWAYS a done deal, no matter what. Understand that messing with military pay and benefits adds an extra hardship to our military families that we do not need to deal with. Whatever the debate is about, whatever is holding up the budget, take military pay and benefits out of it.

Although so few Americans are actually serving in the military, our country depends on the service of those who have decided to do so. We can’t treat them this way, we can’t let them down this way, we are better than that.

It doesn’t matter what side of the aisle you are on. It doesn’t matter who you voted for or who you support.

We all need to be on the side of making sure the military has what they need and has what they signed up for.

We need to make sure we don’t think of what is going on as normal or just the way things are. It is not okay and it should never be okay.

Resources for the 2025 government shutdown:

What Happens if There’s a Government Shutdown?

Military Families Face Pay and Benefit Uncertainty Amid Shutdown

A Military Spouse Guide to a Government Shutdown by amilitarywifeslife

Government Shutdown Assistance by Military Savings (Military Bridge)

USAA

NavyFed

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: Government Shutdown, Military Family, military life, shutdown

What to Know About Being Stationed in Guam

October 2, 2025 by Guest Writer Leave a Comment

Moving to Guam may come with a range of emotions for your family. My husband was excited for the sandy beaches, clear blue water, proximity to major cities like Tokyo and Seoul, and the more laidback culture that awaited us. I was nervous to be thousands of miles and a full twenty-four hours (minimum) of travel away from my family and friends.

I worried about finding a job, a community, and a sense of “home” in a place that would feel so different from the East Coast. It’s okay to feel both ends of the emotional spectrum and to oscillate between them in the lead-up to your move; change is exciting and scary! To help build your excitement further and ease your worries, here are 5 things you should know about moving to Guam. 

What to Know About Being Stationed in Guam
  1. Life is Slower Here

Growing up on Long Island, I was used to a go-go-go lifestyle in a crowded and bustling part of the country. Guam, however, is a chance to step back and savor those stunning sunsets and take the time to just float in the ocean. The speed limit throughout the island caps off at 35mph.

Rather than seeing this as an inconvenience, enjoy the chance to look at the waves and palm trees as you listen to the radio. Mail is slow right now, and we all let out a collective groan when we get the notification that our package is being transported by boat. Sure, I miss my 2-day Amazon Prime shipping and don’t love waiting two months for a package, but it helps me plan ahead for purchases, be resourceful about finding what I need nearby, and resist the temptation to impulse shop. 

  1. A Strong Sense of Community

Whether you live on base or off, there are a lot of opportunities to create a strong community of friends and found family. With the steep prices of airline tickets and the long journey back, it’s not feasible for a lot of military families to visit the States for the holidays and special events. While homesickness is very real with those geographic barriers, know that you are very much not alone in your feelings.

Everyone is a little homesick, and we make an effort to hang out together to keep the loneliness at bay. From celebrating toddlers’ birthdays to going to trivia nights at breweries to joining a pickleball league, we have found many ways to hang out with friends and expand our circle. Military spouse Facebook groups have helped me to find book clubs and volunteer opportunities, and I love finding women who share similar interests and passions with me.

Village festivals, church fiestas, Night Markets, and the many events sponsored at Andersen Air Force Base and Naval Base Guam all help to create a sense of community and fun. 

What to Know About Being Stationed in Guam
  1. New Flavors

When you attend a festival, fiesta, Night Market, or Chamorro BBQ, you might notice some new foods and flavors. Red rice gets its color from achote seeds, but don’t worry, the red color doesn’t mean it’s spicy. KFC, surprisingly, serves some solid red rice, and it’s one of the first things I pile on my plate. Kelaguen is a similar cooking preparation to ceviche because the chosen protein is mixed with lemon juice, salt, and hot peppers. BBQ chicken, shrimp, octopus, and other fish are common meats in this. “Pika” means spicy in Chamorro, and Guam’s famous denanche’ (hot sauce) is made with donne’ peppers. My husband especially likes it when coconut crab meat is added! Familiar fruits like mangos and avocados grow on Guam, but you can also try less familiar ones like soursop and star apple. Don’t be afraid to ask vendors about the foods they’re selling or to reach out to a farmer to learn more about local dishes and produce! 

  1. New Kinds of Seasons

While you won’t get spring, fall, and winter, there are two distinct seasons in what feels like an endless summer. We moved in the height of rainy season, which stretches from July to November. Does this mean it rains all day, every day? No, but you can expect heavy rains in the afternoons and a greater chance of a typhoon.

Typhoon season is pretty similar to hurricane season, and the same preparations and precautions apply. It’s a good idea to always have flashlights, batteries, canned food, and bottled water on hand. Dry season brings cooler breezes, far less rain, and more sunny days. Guam has daily earthquakes, but the majority of them are far too small to even feel. When they are large enough to feel, they usually do not cause damage, but they did catch me by surprise! 

What to Know About Being Stationed in Guam
  1. New Hobbies

Because of Guam’s year-round tropical weather and beautiful beaches, many people take advantage of this rare opportunity to spend so much time on or near the water. Many people will become dive certified to explore the clear waters teeming with fish in the surrounding reefs. If you’re a bit less adventurous like me, you may enjoy observing a wide variety of marine life while snorkeling instead. From paddleboarding to cycling around the island to sunset yoga to waterfall hikes, there’s so many ways to enjoy the great outdoors by yourself, with your family, or with a new group of friends. Facebook groups are your friend here to find people with similar interests, and you’ll soon find your calendar filling with adventures. 

Katie McDonald is a Navy wife, and she and her husband are currently stationed in Guam. After 5 years as an English teacher, Katie is currently working as a freelance writer and enjoys writing about books and travel.. https://www.katiereads.com/

Want to write a guest post??? Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life is looking for guest posts! Have something interesting you want to write about the military spouse community? Have advice for new military spouses? Want to share about your duty station? Want to share your story? 

 If so…please fill out my Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Guest Post Form here! 

Filed Under: Duty Stations Tagged With: duty station, military life

From Orders to Opportunities

September 24, 2025 by Guest Writer Leave a Comment

From Orders to Opportunities

Like many military wives, I got married at the young age of 18. At that point, my husband had already been serving in the Marine Corps for two and a half years. Even though we had known each other for about seven years, we only started dating a year before our “I do’s.”

Before my Marine came along, I was a determined student with a clear plan for my future: attend the University of South Alabama, pursue a degree in speech pathology, work with stroke patients, date someone for five years before getting married, and have kids…all close to home.

What I didn’t realize was that one simple first date with a boy from church would turn my carefully mapped-out plans upside down and lead me down a completely different path.

Six months after we got married, he received orders to PCS from Kings Bay, Georgia, to Twentynine Palms, California. Suddenly, college applications and scholarship essays were no longer my concern. I was learning how to be a newlywed, supporting a husband preparing for his first deployment, and adjusting to life as a 19-year-old southern girl in the California desert.

I quickly learned that military life brings its own challenges, such as making friends at a new duty station, attending Family Readiness meetings, and deciphering the endless stream of acronyms, which became my new “curriculum.”

Still, that determined mindset never truly faded. I knew the military lifestyle could open doors, but in a place like Twentynine Palms, opportunities were dry (pun intended). Jobs were limited, especially without a degree and with limited experience.

Just before my husband’s second deployment, I began volunteering at the local Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society. The director saw potential in me and offered me the role of Communications Lead. Suddenly, I was running the organization’s Facebook page, leading informational events, and speaking at briefs for incoming and deploying Marines and Sailors.

It was there that I discovered a new love: communications. I began to realize that military life, while unpredictable, had given me an unexpected launchpad for growth.

Eventually, we PCS’d back across the country, only to be greeted by a national pandemic. Once again, I found myself at a new base with limited job opportunities and another deployment looming. This season is when I adopted a mindset I carry to this day: “An excuse and an opportunity are always present. Whichever one you look for is the one that will present itself.”

With encouragement from my husband, friends, and family, I finally began my college education. Balancing coursework with a two-year-old at home and a deployed husband wasn’t easy, but my classes quickly rekindled my drive.

What started as a goal to complete my associate degree grew into a bachelor’s program. Today, I’m pursuing a Master’s in Human Resource Management. I will spare you the details of that career merge. 

Looking back, I realize that every challenge, PCS, and deployment wasn’t just an obstacle; it was an opportunity, a lesson I want to share. As military spouses, our lives don’t have to be on hold just because of the demands of military life. These unique circumstances can become a springboard for discovering passions, building resumes, and growing in ways we might never have anticipated. 

The first step in turning orders into opportunities is finding your niche and discovering what inspires you. Whether it’s volunteering, joining a spouses’ club, or exploring new hobbies, these experiences can uncover talents and interests you didn’t know you had. Growth doesn’t always happen in a classroom.

You can dive into books, take free online courses, or practice new skills at home. Every opportunity, paid or volunteer, is a step toward building your experience, confidence, and future career. For me, stepping into the Communications Lead role at NMCRS revealed strengths I hadn’t recognized before.

Community is a powerful part of our journey. Surround yourself with supportive people who can encourage you, celebrate your wins, and help you discover your passions.

As a Christian, I truly believe what feels like uprooting is actually planting according to God’s plan. Every PCS, deployment, and unexpected change has the potential to help you grow, learn, and prepare for what lies ahead. Your life as a military spouse doesn’t have to be paused while supporting your spouse’s career.

Even if traditional opportunities feel out of reach, you can still discover ways to use your gifts, develop skills, and make an impact in your community.

I challenge you today to take the first step. You don’t have to sign up for the next class at the community college, but look for the opportunity rather than the excuse. Plant seeds in your life and watch them grow into new skills, confidence, and a life you love that follows wherever military life takes you. 

P.S. If you’re considering going back to school or exploring new career opportunities, don’t forget to look into scholarships and programs specifically for military spouses. Organizations like the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society and other branch-specific foundations offer scholarships, financial support, and resources to help you pursue your education and professional goals. 

Author: Brittany Weston

Brittany is a Marine Corps wife of nearly 10 years, living in North Carolina with her husband and daughter. She believes that every deployment, every duty station, and every single day is about perspective. Making the most of every season, she holds to Ezra 10:4: “Rise up; this matter is in your hands. So, take courage and do it.”

Want to write a guest post??? Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life is looking for guest posts! Have something interesting you want to write about the military spouse community? Have advice for new military spouses? Want to share about your duty station? Want to share your story? 

 If so…please fill out my Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Guest Post Form here! 

From Orders to Opportunities

Filed Under: Military Spouse Employment Tagged With: guest post, military life, military spouse, military wife

The Many Blessings of a Military Marriage

September 17, 2025 by Julie Leave a Comment

The Many Blessings of a Military Marriage

I do a lot of reflecting sometimes. I have always kept a journal and I like to think about where we have been as a couple and a family and where we are going.

We have had to make a lot of choices over the years. When to have kids. To move across the country. To join the Military. To buy a house. To stay in Tennessee. To join the National Guard.

Sometimes it is way too easy to look back and think we shouldn’t have made certain choices.  I don’t like to look at my life like that. Is it possible we made bad choices in the past? Yes. Does that mean the rest of our lives are messed up? No.

One of the biggest life-changing choices we made was for my husband to re-enlist in the Military at age 30. This was something that we talked about for months beforehand. We had no idea what his time in the military would be like once we made that decision.

We were diving into the unknown. While my husband had been in the Army before, that was when he was a lot younger, and way before I came into the picture. Being a soldier with a wife and child was going to be completely different for him, and becoming an Army wife was going to be totally different than anything I was used to.

As I think back over the last 15 years as a Military spouse, there have been many blessings in our marriage because of our time as a military couple.

Don’t get me wrong. Would I have preferred to have a husband who never had to go away? Perhaps, but that wasn’t how life has been for us. 

As I look back over those 15 years, I can see that there are blessings in a Military marriage.

Homecomings can be the highlight of our Military experience. The feeling you get when you see your spouse again is hard to explain unless you have been through a homecoming. Knowing that the months of waiting and worrying has come to a close and knowing you will finally be back in each other’s arms can be the spark that your marriage needs.

Watching your spouse in their uniform can be inspiring. You know they are doing something good in the world and you are there to support them through it. You and your spouse are a part of history, working to make the world a better place. There is just something about feeling that way that can help your marriage thrive.

Deployments can help your relationship to grow even stronger. You start to appreciate one another in ways you never would have if they never had to go away. You constantly remember why you fell in love in the first place. You learn to trust one another across the miles.

But also, never be afraid to reach out for extra help if you don’t feel that way. Different couples handle distance in different ways. There are many resources out there to help too.

PCSing every few years can also be a challenge, especially if you have to PCS to a place you don’t want to go. But there is also something about moving together, having to work through those struggles together, having to be the “new person” together, that can bond you together in many different ways.

While the day to day of military life can feel so heavy sometimes, there are blessings of a military marriage. From growing stronger through the distance to being able to discover more about yourself which can lead to becoming a better partner.

If you are new to the military life and are worried a bit about your marriage, keep in mind that there are blessings of a Military marriage. As hard as the military lifestyle might be, they are there if you look for them.

How do you feel that the Military has blessed your marriage?

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: blessings of a military marriage, military life, Military spouse life

What Can I Say About September 11th That Hasn’t Been Said Before

September 3, 2025 by Julie

What Can I Say About September 11th That Hasn’t Been Said Before?

Every September, as we get closer to the middle of the month, the memories of what happened on September 11th, 2001 come flooding back. I can’t help but think about that entire morning, at least how I experienced it, from the West Coast.

I still remember when I realized something not so normal was going on. I still remember going to class, and how not everyone in the room had heard the news. I still remember how that was all we talked about for the next two weeks of classes, how could we talk about anything else?

I was only dating my husband at the time, and he was in the IRR (The Individual Ready Reserve,) not active duty or even in the National Guard. IRR at that time didn’t mean a whole lot, just going in for appointments every once in a while. It was more of a technicality.

What Can I Say About September 11th That Hasn't Been Said Before

After September 11th, things changed.

I started to wonder if he would be called up and what that would mean. What that would mean for him, for our relationship. Would we rush to get married? Would be break up? I didn’t know.

As the months passed, it seemed clear that he probably wouldn’t be called up after all. Then time passed.

I had no idea that what happened on 9/11 would change our country, our military, our family.

What Can I Say About September 11th That Hasn't Been Said Before

So as I think about what to write this year, I am not sure what else I could say.

I could give you more details about that day, I know some of you were too young to remember.

I could tell you about my kids and what they know about that day, the kids that were born after 9/11.

I could tell you about how different my military spouse experience has been because of what happened that day, what the war on terror meant on a personal level being married to a service member, or about any fears I still have about having to say goodbye to a spouse as they go fight in this new type of war.

I could leave you with some inspiring words about the sacrifices made.

The men and women who lost their lives in the tower, the ones who did in the recovery efforts, or those who did in the following years in Iraq and Afghanistan because of what happened that day.

I could give you a list of movies and television shows and books that talk about 9/11 or have something to do with that day.

But haven’t we all heard this all before? Is any of it new? Is it even worth repeating?

What can I say about September 11th that hasn’t been said before?

What Can I Say About September 11th That Hasn't Been Said Before

What words can I give that will help you through this day? What can I add to the conversation?

I just don’t know.

I do know that we can’t forget what we as a country have been through.

We can’t forget that morning or what happened that day.
 
We have to keep sharing with those that were not there.

I do know that our lives were changed in the smallest and biggest of ways that day.

I do know that in the aftermath of 9/11, communities came together like never before.

It didn’t matter if you didn’t agree on 9/10, on 9/11 you were holding hands in a sanctuary, trying to make sense of everything.

You might have two years old, sitting on your mother’s lap as she had CNN on all day.

You might have been seven years old, wondering what was going on and why so many people were so upset.

 

You might have been twenty years old, sitting in a college class, worrying about your friend who lives in NYC.

You might have been thirty years old, a proud military wife for the last ten years, wonder how this will change everything for you and your family.

What Can I Say About September 11th That Hasn't Been Said Before

Whatever you were doing that day, whatever you remember, if nothing else, 9/11 is a memorial day. One in which we can remember those who have lost their lives, lost their families, or even lost their hope.

Here we are, on the 17th anniversary of the day that changed everything, let’s try to show as much peace, love, and hope to others as we can. For that is quite the opposite of what led to that tragedy almost twenty years ago. And that is what will keep us moving forward as a country, despite the struggles and frustrations we face along the way.

Peace. Love. Remember. 

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: 9/11, military life, September 11th

A Letter To A New Military Spouse, Starting Their Military Life Journey

September 1, 2025 by Julie

A Letter To A New Military Spouse Just Starting Their Military Life Journey

A Letter To A New Military Spouse, Starting Their Military Life Journey…

I know things feel a bit scary right now. Your loving spouse has just joined the Military. You might not even know how to feel right now. You are likely experiencing a range of emotions. Both happy and sad ones.

You are not sure what is going to happen or what the next few years will be like. You agreed that you would take it one enlistment at a time. Only three years and then if you both want to walk away you can, only, you wonder if you really will.

You wonder if the Military will be your life from now on.

That your spouse will like the military life too much, that you will like it too much or that you will absolutely hate military life and that they will want to stay.

The truth is, it is nearly impossible to know what your experience is going to be like. The Military is different for everyone. Based on where you are stationed, the unit they are in, if they deploy or not, how many times they deploy and how often, the friends you meet and everything that happens between now and when it is time to make that reenlistment decision.

My advice would be to take it one year at a time.

Don’t let a bad situation cause you to change your life. Don’t let a good one lead you into thinking that everything will always be easy. Know that when the time comes to decide, you two will know in your hearts what the next step will be.

You worry about those deployments everyone is talking about. And if you can get through them when it doesn’t even seem like you can get used to them being away during basic training.

Your deployments will be some of the hardest months of your life.

You will miss your spouse like crazy, and you will wonder why you decided that joining the Military was a good idea in the first place. You will cry yourself to sleep some nights and pat yourself on the back during others.

You will have good days and bad ones. You just have to keep on keeping on. You will find your own battle buddies that will help you on the days you just don’t think you can do Military life anymore. In return, you can be there for them during their difficult days.

You will make friends but they or you will have to eventually move and you will have to say goodbye to each other. Always having to make new friends will be difficult but it also makes life a little more interesting.

You never know who you will meet next, where they will be from or what kind of story they will have.

With Facebook, it is a lot easier to keep in touch with others after you no longer live in the same place. This part of Military life is hard but it is something you can get more used to, even if you still don’t want to have to say goodbye to people all of the time.

Military spouse, you are a part of something amazing. A family of other spouses whose heart belongs to someone who serves in the Military. You are a part of history. You will be remembered for what you are about to do, for the sacrifices you will give to your country, and for the strong faith you will show in the midst of difficult situations.

A Letter To A New Military Spouse Just Starting Their Military Life Journey

The best part of being a Military spouse is that you are not alone.

There are a lot of us out there to help guide you through everything you might experience. There really is nothing new under the Military sun. As you move forward down your Military life path, remember why you and your spouse made the decision for him to join. Remember to take it one day at a time if you need to.

You will be okay. You will grow stronger through it all and you will make the best friends you could ever meet through your time as a Military Spouse.

Are you a new Military Spouse? What do you think about this new chapter in your life?

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military life, military spouse, surviving deployments

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About Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

 

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I first became a military spouse in 2005 when my husband of 3 years re-joined the Army. Then, in 2014, he joined the National Guard. In January of 2024, he retired from the National Guard after 21 years of service.

During our time in the military, we got to spend 4 years in Germany as well as Tennessee where we now call home.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, PCS moves, or anything else military life brings you through my articles and social media posts.

 

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