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22 Fun Ideas For Staying Busy During a Deployment

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The number one tip you are going to get to survive a deployment is to stay busy. That you need to stay busy during a deployment to make it through. To fill up your calendar. To have something going every day. This is true. The busier you are, the faster time will go and the sooner the deployment will be over. When you don’t have anything to do, time drags.

Sometimes it can be difficult to know what to do each day to stay busy during a deployment, especially if you are new to the area and haven’t met a lot of people yet.

Here are 22  fun ideas on how to stay busy during a deployment. Things you can do to keep busy and help your deployment go by a little bit faster. Take these as a starting off point and create your own list of ideas to help you stay busy during a deployment.

22 Fun Ideas For Staying Busy During a Deployment

  • Join a club- Whatever you’re into, join a club about it. Love to read? Join a book club. Love to hike? Joining a hiking club. Can’t find a club for what you want? Start one. Finding something you love to do is the best way to get through a deployment. You also have a big chance of making some friends while you do.
  • Start a sport- Sports can be a great way to pass the time. You could sign up for a local team such as indoor soccer or volleyball. They might just meet once a week but that is okay. You can have fun at the practices, at the games and get to know the other people on your team.
  • Playgroups- Playgroups are such a great way to spend your time when you have little kids. You take them, they go off and play and you can hopefully talk with other moms. Even if you don’t meet anyone the first few times, if your child is having fun, keep taking them. Eventually you will start talking with the other moms and hopefully, make friends. You can also go to playgroups around nap time, which makes the day go by a lot faster.
  • Regular dinners- Having regular dinners with friends is also a great idea. Get a group together and take turns meeting at each other’s houses or even a park. You can have your kids eat before you go and then let them play while you eat your dinner with your friends. This can help with the nighttime routine and will help with the loneliness around that time of day.
  • Regular coffee meetups– Another way to get together with friends is plan a weekly coffee date. Mondays work well because it is the day after the weekend and sometimes the weekends are the most difficult part of a deployment.
  • Walks- Going for a walk is such a great idea. Not only will it help you pass the time but it can get you out of a funk. It is also good for your health and can allow you to reach the weight loss goals you made for yourself during the deployment. You can walk with a friend, listen to music, listen to podcasts and audiobooks. You can also stick your children in the stroller if they are young enough and take them with you.
  • Start a new hobby- Deployments are the perfect time to start a new hobby. Think about what you have been wanting to learn. You can take a class or do it on your own. Finding a new hobby is something you can enjoy for years to come, not just during the deployment.
  • Go back to an old hobby- Is there something you used to do that you haven’t done for a while? A deployment is a great time to get back into your old hobbies. Especially if you still have supplies or equipment in your home.
  • Photography- Taking photos can be a great way to destress and to get to know your area. Go on photo walks and remember to bring a camera or even your phone out with you to take photos. Learn how to be a better photographer. Take a photography class. You will be glad that you did.
  • Travel- Deployments can be the perfect time to travel. The idea of going places without your spouse can be scary or you can feel badly that he or she is missing out. This is something to think about. You don’t have to take a once in a lifetime trip. Save that for when they are home but take some time to plan at least one trip. You can go visit a friend, family or just go sightseeing
  • Write a book- Have you always wanted to write a book? Now is your chance. Spend the extra time that you have on starting that book. You might not finish the book during the deployment but you can get started and that is a good thing.
  • Start a blog- When your spouse is away it might be the right time to start a blog. Even if you are just writing down your thoughts about what you are currently going through. You don’t even have to show the blog to anyone or you can have a private blog for a select audience.
  • Organize your home- When you are the only adult in your home, getting organized can be a little easier. You can go through your home and declutter, work on home projects and change things around. Deployments are a great time to do this type of thing.
  • Paint your house- Want to change the color of your bedroom? Meaning to paint the kitchen and it just hasn’t happened yet? When your spouse is away, make plans to paint. Make sure to run any color choices by them if you think they would care about the colors. Then buy your supplies and make a plan to paint. You can even invite friends to come over and help you.
  • Look for a new house- If you are planning to move after the deployment, you could start your home search early. You can look online, research schools and neighborhoods or even go look at homes with a real estate agent. There is a lot you can do to prepare for your future move.
  • Find a job- If you feel you have too much time on your hands or you want to further your career, go find a job. It might take time to find one and then once you do, you will be able to stay busy. You will also be adding to your own career which is always a good thing.
  • Go back to school- Deployments are a great time to go back to school. Whether you do so online or in person, find a program and apply. It will be easier to study when they are gone.
  • Take one class- If you don’t want to go back to school full time you can take a class or two. You could take one on a skill you have been wanting to learn or you can take a class toward a degree you would like to eventually to get.
  • Volunteer- Working as a volunteer can be a great way to spend the deployment. Whether you do so at your child’s school or for the FRG. Find a way to give back. This is also a great way to make friends.
  • Visit Family- If you get along with your family, plan a trip to go see them. Stay a few days, a week or even a month. Whatever works for you and your situation. 
  • Exercise- Working out and exercising can be a great thing to get into when he is away. You can work on losing weight or just becoming a healthier person. Join a gym or a working group or get together with friends to do a workout video together. 
  • Read more books- Books are the best and can be a great way to pass the time. Make a list of books you want to read while they are gone and get started on them the day they leave. Need some suggestions? 

How do you stay busy during a deployment? What would you add to this list?

Because Memorial Day Just Isn’t Enough

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Because Memorial Day Just Isn't Enough

Today is Memorial Day.

A day when most of us stop our normal lives and remember those who have lost their life for our country. To remember those from previous generations and those who joined the military after 9/11. We remember who they were, what they did and how they died. We remember their families, their spouses, their children, their mothers, their fathers.

When you are a military spouse, the meaning of this day changes.

Memorial Day is no longer just for those who fought in the World Wars, Vietnam and Korea. It is for your friends and those who went to war with your own spouse. It is for you neighbor or the girl you sat next to in bible study. The day touches you in a different way than it would have had your spouse never joined.

I remember during our first deployment. It was soon after the guys had left, maybe just a week or two. A bunch of us wives was standing around at a fair that the base had put on. Or some other type of event. It was fall of 2006 and our guys were in Iraq. I remember standing around, looking at all of us. Knowing we were all going through the same thing. Knowing that we were all worried about our spouses and all praying they would come back home to us.

Being that this was my first deployment I had no other idea about how I was supposed to feel about having a husband in a war zone. This wasn’t even something I thought much about until he joined in late 2005. When he deployed I just had to have faith that he would come home. I couldn’t think too hard about what he was doing or how much danger he was in.

A few months later we heard the news. One of the wives that were standing with us that day had lost her husband. This war, it was real. Very real. Over the rest of that deployment and into the next one, five of my friends became widows. Some were in their early 20s, just starting out married life. Others had been married for years with several children.

My husband lost friends. His battle buddies that meant so much to him. Men that he had trained with and was supposed to come home with.

Ten years ago was when Memorial Day changed for me. It became so real. So very real.

I am glad that today, in 2016, so many people remember what this day is about, even if it isn’t personal for them. They know that we need to stop and remember those that gave their lives for our country.

The truth is, Memorial Day is just one day. I am glad we have this day but I wish our country could do more. How do you thank someone who gave up everything? How do you make it right?

I suppose you never can. You can never repay someone for that cost. You can’t bring their loved one back and you can’t erase their pain.

Whether it is the family of a soldier who fought in Germany in the 1940s, the widow of a man who left for Vietnam in the late 60s or the children of a marine who lost his life in Iraq just a few years ago.

The truth is, we can never repay them for what they lost. But we can support them. We can support them in our prayers and our thoughts and our actions. We can remember them and make sure they know they are loved and that the person they lost is a hero. We can make sure that we go beyond Memorial Day and that we aren’t just thinking of them on a Monday in May but that we are thinking of them the rest of the year too.

Because Memorial Day Just Isn’t Enough…

 

For the Military Spouse

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For The Military Spouse

For the Military Spouse…

For the spouse who is getting ready for her first deployment…

For the spouse who is getting ready for his fifth deployment…

For the spouse who has to tell his kids, that mommy misses them…

For the spouse who can’t wait until bedtime to have a good cry and some me time…

For the spouse who writes letter after letter and stands in very long lines to send a package over there…

For the spouse who has to take a back seat to a very demanding career…

For the spouse that loves being a SAHM while her husband serves in the military…

For the spouse that works her own career right along with her husband…

For the spouse who served in the past…

For the spouse who currently serves too…

For the spouse who can’t sleep a wink the night before homecoming…

For the spouse who has to drive her husband back to the airport, kiss him goodbye and figure out how to get through the rest of a deployment after R&R…

For the spouse who sits in a lonely house waiting for a phone call…

For the spouse who gets on an airplane alone with her three young children just to take them to Grandma’s for the summer…

For the spouse who gathers with friends to get through a deployment…

For the spouse that has to say goodbye to friends to move to a new duty station…

For the spouse, that has to make new friends…

For the spouse who gets a phone call that something went wrong…

For the spouse worried about the knock on the door…

For the spouse that has received a knock on the door…

For the spouse that doesn’t want to be a military spouse anymore…

For the spouse that doesn’t ever want her husband to leave the military…

For the spouse that is counting down the days until he will ETS…

For the spouse that is on the other side of the country from everything she has ever known…

For the spouse that was able to stay close to home for her husband’s first assignment…

For the spouse who has trouble making friends…

For the spouse who stays behind when everyone else is moving away…

For the spouse who has to stay behind so her son can finish high school…

For the spouse who gives birth without her husband…

For the spouse that grew up in the military…

For the spouse who never thought the military would be a part of her life…

For every spouse from every time period. You are amazing. You do great things. You are stronger than you think you are. You are one of the few and without you, the military would be a very different type of place. You do things others never have to think about. You cry, you vent, you laugh and you smile. You do the best that you can so that you can support your spouse.

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Month!

 

I Am Not A Perfect Military Spouse

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There she is. She is always dressed so nicely. No yoga pants for this lady. She always brings the best food to every potluck. She is always there to help and always there with a smile. She never looks stressed and she never has to worry about her kids acting up. She is her husband’s #1 fan and no matter what happens in military life, she answers with a smile. A deployment? No problem. A move in the middle of the school year? She has got this. She never complains and rarely sheds a tear. She was made for this life. This perfect military spouse.

I Am Not A Perfect Military Spouse

Is she the person we are supposed to look up to? She is the one we should all be like, right? I am going to say NO! The idea of a perfect military spouse is frustrating. She might not even exist because even if someone appears that way, we don’t know what struggles they are probably going through at home. No, I am not a perfect military spouse and I don’t want to be one. I am me and I bring what I can to this lifestyle.

Deployments

I support my husband’s career but I hate deployments. I could never understand why my husband had to keep deploying. Even though I knew that was such a part of this life. I just wanted my husband home with us, was that too much to ask?

Potluck Foods

If there is a potluck I might make something but usually I am running to the store to pick up something easy. It really just depends  and I don’t want to be a flake but that is just the way these things go. I would love to be able to find something good on Pinterest and make an amazing dish but I always seem to fall short on that.

Volunteering

I want to be a good spouse and volunteer but my issue is my schedule and my kids. What can I do that wouldn’t be too stressful and would allow me to bring my kids? What can I add to my schedule? What can I do to give back that works for my family? The whole thing is very overwhelming for me. I have been able to find ways to volunteer within organizations like PWOC and MOPS which is great. I just wish I could do a bit more but maybe that will have to wait until a less crazy busy time in my life.

Clean House

I try to keep my house clean but the socks and the stickers and the dishes. Oh, my! With three boys, staying on top of things can be so difficult, even with them helping with some of the chores. I keep having to figure out new cleaning schedules and ways of getting everything done. I am beginning to think that some people were meant for spotless homes and others were not.

My Husband’s Job

When my husband has been deployed, I don’t want to know what he is doing until he is back home and the deployment is over. I can handle hearing about his dangerous job a little more when what he has done is in the past. People would ask me what he was doing over there and I really didn’t know more than just a general idea of his job. And that’s okay. Some spouses don’t know anything about what their husbands do because of security reasons. That’s okay too.

I Did The Best I Could

Over the years, I can honestly say I have done the best I could do. Solo parenting has been the hardest part. I cringe when I hear people say they never had a hard time as a military spouse or that we have no right to complain because we picked this life. Yes, we picked this life but when doing so we really had no idea what it was going to be like. And each member of the military can have such different experiences during their military careers. No one knows what military life will really be like going in.

So…whether you are new to being a military spouse or have been one for many years, never feel like you have to be the perfect military spouse. Be who you are and know that you have your own strengths.

You might not make a good potluck meal but you know how to fix your husband’s favorite food the day before he deploys. You might not have a super clean house but your house is always warm and comfortable to hang out at. Your kids might fight more than they should but they know they are loved and get to experience a lot of great things during their time as military children.

There is a lot that every military spouse can offer and that is a big asset to the military.

Have you struggled with trying to be the perfect military spouse? Can you let that go?

When Your Spouse Has A Dangerous Job

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Sitting in the pre-deployment briefing before a deployment is surreal. You think you are ready for the deployment, but the reality is different emotions and feelings come up.

When they start to talk about what could happen and what the military will do if the worst does in fact happen can cause anyone to go into a panic. Knowing that your husband, your soul mate is going off to war and will be spending months in a very dangerous job isn’t something you can easily come to terms with.

When Your Spouse Has A Dangerous Job

You have to know the process too. You can’t stick your head in the sand about this. You have to know what will happen if your spouse isn’t going to make it home. You have to understand what will happen if your spouse gets injured or if you have an emergency back at home and you need to contact them.

You need to make sure they have an updated will and that all the right paperwork is filled out. These are the types of things that will come up in a pre-deployment briefing. They want you to be prepared and know what you will need to do if anything does happen when your spouse is deployed.

When you see them off, when they leave, when the deployment becomes real, there is a sense of fear that can stop you in your tracks if you let it. The key is to figure out methods to be able to deal with the fact that your spouse has a dangerous job. This isn’t just something military spouses have to do. Others have to do this when they are married to police officers, firefighters or any other job that can put their life at risk.

I wanted to share what worked for me and how I was able to come to terms with my husband having a dangerous job. For as hard as deployments were for me, this part of being deployed wasn’t where I struggled. Somehow I was able to get through my deployments without letting this fear overtake me.

Here are some things to keep in mind when your spouse has a dangerous job:

The News

The standard advice is to avoid the news, but I am going to say that depends very much on your personally. Some people need to watch the news to feel safer. Some are not bothered by watching the news at all.

Others have to stay away from the news altogether. You know yourself; you know what will set you off. If watching the news makes you more scared and worried about your spouse, don’t look at the news. Walk away from that until they come home.

Prayers

Relying on your faith traditions is important during a deployment. For me, that meant always praying and believing that I would be taken care of no matter what happened to my husband. Knowing that I had so many praying for him helped as well. Knowing that God was there, even in time of war was important.

Find your faith during the months your spouse is away and depend on it. Even if you are not super religious, you do believe in something so use that when things feel like they are falling apart and you are not sure you can handle your spouse being in a war zone. Meditate, pray and depend on others to help you through.

Preparing

I remember telling a non-military friend about how I didn’t think I would ever be emotionally prepared if something happened to my husband overseas but I was going to be as financially prepared as possible. I wanted to know what would happen to us. How we would live and what we would live on.

I wanted everything set and a plan in my head. This helped me feel better about everything and allowed me to stop dwelling on the what-ifs and focus on what I needed to do each day when he was gone.

Talking About It

Talking about all of this with others who are also going through a deployment can help. When my husband was deployed, I talked with my other Army wife friends about what we would do if something happened to our husbands.

We talked about the difficulties we might encounter with different family members or how our career plans would change. This was helpful because doing so allowed us to know we were not alone. Talking about your fears with others who understand them can be very therapeutic.

In the end, know that you are not alone in your worry. Worrying about your spouse going to a dangerous place and doing dangerous things is normal. However, you don’t have to let your fear overtake you to the point where you can’t live your life. You can prepare and do what you can to be able to get through the time they are over there.

How do you control your fear during a deployment? What has worked best when you have a spouse with a dangerous job?

The Military Spouse Superpower You Can’t Live Without

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The Military Spouse Superpower You Can't Live WithoutThe Military Spouse Superpower You Can’t Live Without

My husband was going to be home in June. He had left the August before. It was April, and the weather in Germany was slowly warming up. If you have ever been through a longer deployment, you know how important the change of seasons can be. My husband left the end of summer which quickly turned to fall and then winter. Now that the weather was warming up, the deployment was coming to an end. Two months to go.

So, what does a military spouse do with just TWO months left of deployment? She looks for a cute homecoming outfit. Since he would be coming home in June, I wanted to get a summer dress. I wanted something fun and comfortable. I went online and finally found my dress. I didn’t hit order. I am not sure why. I just didn’t. I wanted to sleep on the decision or wait a few days to make sure I wanted that dress.

The next day, everything changed. They were no longer coming home in June. They told us October with whispers of that really meaning November. I was heartbroken. I was thankful I didn’t order that dress. The dress would have just been a reminder of what had happened. My husband’s deployment was extended. He ended up coming home the day before Thanksgiving. That was not summer. That was not the day in June we thought he would be home.

At the time, I was crushed. If this happened today, I would still be crushed. Nothing can prepare you for something like that.

But as the years have gone on, I have figured out more and more that flexibility is a must as a military spouse. Flexibility needs to become your superpower. It needs to be something you take with you through each deployment, each duty station and each step of military life.

Things will never go the way you think they should go. They won’t even go the way they say they are supposed to at first. You will be told one thing, plan for that and then something else will happen.

Military life is having a plan. Then a new plan. Then another plan. Then the first plan. Then a brand new plan only to go back to the 2nd plan.

 

When plans change as they do in military life, you have to be flexible. You have to be able to shake things off and roll with what is going on. This does not mean you have to be happy all the time or look forward to all the changes, it just means you have to come up with a way to be flexible and a way to deal with all the changes that will come.

Here are some ideas:

Talk Things Out

Find a good friend you can talk to about what you are dealing with. Whether you are waiting on orders for a PCS or waiting to hear when your spouse is actually going to deploy, talking things out with a good friend is the best thing to do. Most likely they have been there or will be there someday too so they can relate to your struggles. Be a good friend and allow your people to talk to you about what they are going through. Find friends who won’t just tell you to deal but who can help you become more flexible.

Write In Your Journal

A journal or diary is such a great idea. I have been keeping one since I was in high school. Whenever you are frustrated or upset about a change, write in your journal. Get your feelings all out there. Trust me, that will help. You can also go back through old entries to remind yourself how things worked out in the past. This can help you in the future.

Expect That Things Might Change

If you expect that there could be changes, you will be able to handle them a little easier. You will know not to put all your eggs in one basket. The problem I have is that I am a planner and I want everything done as soon as possible. If you told me we are going to PCS somewhere, I wanted to go online right away and research everything. Even if we didn’t have orders in hand. Taking a step back and waiting until things are for sure is difficult.

The Military Spouse Superpower You Can't Live WithoutYour Military Spouse Superpower

I think as a military spouse you must have superpowers. Traits that will get you through anything. You might not be born with these superpowers; you might need to develop them over time. Flexibility is one of these and without it, your military spouse journey is going to be a lot more difficult. If flexibility doesn’t come naturally to you, work on that. Understand you will need to know how to be flexible during your life as a military spouse and even after. Learning this skill will help you for the rest of your life.

Do you struggle with flexibility? What has helped you along the way?

 

The Hardest Working Man

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Old Spice

My husband. After 10 years as an active duty soldier is now a part of the National Guard. This means he has two jobs. Monday through Friday he works outside at his regular job. Once a month he puts on his uniform and does his Army job.  Both jobs are pretty demanding and he works hard juggling both. He started a new job in March and after his first week he had drill. That was a long week for us but he did it without complaining.

Old Spice

 

Old Spice
On the weekends, we always try to spend some time as a family. This last weekend we went to a local park. My husband loves sports so he had a good time playing with the football and soccer ball in the big green belt. He is so good with the boys, always has been. I am so lucky to have that in a husband.

Whether he is working at his regular job, going to drill or home with his family, he is doing what he can to be there for us.

Old spice

 

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He was very excited to see the Old Spice Tool box kit with the Hardest Working  Collection come to our house. He has been a fan of Old Spice for a while. We both love how it smells and the names of the different scents that they come up with are perfect. Lasting Legend? Stronger Swagger? Fresher Fiji? Love them!

Old Spice

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Old Spice

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The Dirt Destroyer is Old Spice’s most powerful body wash, offering 15 percent more cleansers, a 30 percent thicker formula and 20 percent more scent. Its thicker formula delivers a thick, dirt‐eliminating lather and less down the drain resulting in a better overall shower experience.

Old Spice

The 1-800-PROVE-IT Challenge

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Did you see the tool box we received? Stay tuned for a future giveaway where you can win one for your hardest working man 🙂

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This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Old Spice (P&G). The opinions and text are all mine.