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Military Children

A Fight Against Sexual Assault On Military Children 

October 25, 2021 by Guest Writer Leave a Comment

A Fight Against Sexual Assault On Military Children 

By: Jusika Martinez | Website | Twitter | Facebook

Many great leaders say, “leave a community better than you found it’. But what does that really mean? Does it mean unchanged big ways? I’ve learned over my journey as a military spouse that unless you make big waves, changes don’t actually happen; this is across all of the branches and within all of our communities. 

This article to you as a fellow spouse is me making an intentional wave. In hopes of making sure our communities are a little more educated and a little more aware. Aware and educated about what? Well, that some military families face crises inside our community sometimes due to other military members or their families’ actions. 

Before I tell you about how I became educated in all of the rules, regulations, and oversight, I want to take you back to 2018. I was the volunteer President for our Enlisted Spouses Club. I was intertwined with many of the First Sergeants at the Air Force base we were stationed at. I helped these First Sergeants operate moments of kindness for their squadrons and prepare for seven separate memorial receptions for the 7 Airman we lost in 10 months.

My favorite part of it all was that I helped them connect to spouses within their squadron and around the base. I was also a Master Resilience Trainer creating the spouse initiative at our base. I worked remotely as a Digital Marketing Manager and freelanced for local churches in our community. 

During 2018 I became weary of the isolation that remote life can create; I felt like I never left my house… just zoom call after zoom call. In August of 2018, I decided that I would find a job outside of my remote position. This meant that our then 2-year-old daughter would need full-time daycare.

Due to my daughter’s age, I had been able to balance working, volunteering with part-time care, and my active duty spouse’s help. I knew that finding a job would take some time because that local area was not keen on hiring military spouses due to the length of time spouses typically were stationed there with their active-duty members. Thankfully by November, I found a position as a graphic designer at a cause marketing agency. I was excited to be there and to start this chapter. 

To follow the rules and the regulations of our military installation where I lived, I enrolled our child in a Family Childcare Home; commonly known as an FCC Home. It wasn’t the Family Childcare Home that I wanted, but the other person’s license and background check were delayed for some reason, but since it was regulated by the Air Force I thought that I could trust for care, even if it wasn’t the one I preferred.

In mid-December, while at work getting ready to pitch a marketing campaign, I received photographs taken by a third party through the FCC provider’s Facebook messenger. When I saw these photos, my stomach sank. My child was re-dressed in brand new clothing that I was unaware of, hair was redone, and she was posing with the FCC provider in her pajamas.

I took a deep breath, and I texted my spouse and showed him what I got, and he said: “no, that feeling and concern is right.” We then removed our daughter from this FCC provider and kept our daughter home to monitor her. After two weeks of watching and trying to decipher all of the signs of dysregulation, screaming, violence, needing significant reassurance, and inappropriate sexual behavior meant. We called our civilian pediatrician, who then recommended taking her to the local emergency room. 

Once upon arriving at the E.R., the nurses listened, and then the local sexual assault victims advocate and police came. I repeated our concerns and where they stemmed from, the things we’re seeing, and then a medical examination happened. A few hours after arrival, we left with discharge paperwork, victim resources, and a police report number.

Since it was late, I did not read the paperwork. I just carried my kid in my arms out to my car out past the women’s ward where we brought her into the world almost three years prior. Wondering what the purpose of this visit was because it didn’t really seem to do anything except to give me the paperwork.

Why did I tell them my concerns? Why did I let them into the nightmare we had been watching and living in just to get some paperwork? Where was the immediate help in stopping the games that she was playing or the things she was doing to herself? The next day, I stopped and read the papers we were given — sexual assault by bodily force by caregiver.  

Those words changed everything.  

Had I known what we were going to walk through the next 24 months, I would have said “no way.” I then googled signs of sexual assault on young children. Check, check, check, check, check — how did I brush some of these off as fixable or adjustment? And wait, this doesn’t happen in our military community. Not only did our case get reported to the local police, but it was also shared with the military investigative agency because of the interagency agreement. 

This is where I have to pause with just sharing what we lived because we went through a lot after our young daughter’s case was reported and it was a lot for any family to endure while dealing with such trauma. From harassment to intimidation to downright not being believed. And I was desperate to get help for our daughter and her experience.

After I was laid off a few weeks later for not being able to be at work due to trying to find our child services, I took to social media, and I received a call on my personal cell phone from the then Command Chief citing my social media post was “unsubstantiated.” Which made zero sense because we had the medical evidence and my child’s inappropriate sexual actions and the traumatic games she would play. Once I laid everything out, I was told I would get a call back. One week later, this Command Chief retired, and I never heard from Senior Leadership again. 

This is where I now have to make a wave and educate you on some of the rules and regulations that I have uncovered in the last 24 months through an Inspector General complaint and multiple conversations with those above that installation leadership. Some of these educational moments were brought to us by our daughter’s Special Victim’s Council, and some were discovered after talking to other command chiefs after we left the base we were stationed at. 

Throughout all of this, the word unsubstantiated stuck with me. How could we have the medical paperwork that we did, and it be unsubstantiated? 

At the time we were told that for the investigative agency to open a case, they needed three things… a victim’s statement, photographs or video of it happening, and a medical examination. Since we did not know better at that time or have these three things, a case was not opened, which meant no one was investigated or charged. At that time we were just left to pick up the pieces of our child and our lives that had shattered because of what happened and the issues she was continuing to experience. 

After some investigation, we found out the following items: 

  1. The victim’s statement was not taken due to our child’s age which at the time was 3 years old. The investigative agency declined to interview her because of her age. We were told that the military investigative agency does not interview children under the age of 3, and in our case, their notes show that they did not contact a headquarters subject matter expert on conducting an interview on children. 
  2. The photographs or video that the investigative agency told us they needed to open a case was false information. 
  3. The investigative agency and special agents were not educated on how to handle child sex crimes and the notes that were taken do not describe the actual items that our child was going through. 
  4. The medical examination was not believed by the investigative agency and since the local police went off the investigation that the military investigative agency did the local police found no reason to pursue an investigation due to lack of being a violent crime. 
  5. The investigative agency acted out of standard operating procedures by discussing our case with military family agencies that were not involved nor would ever be involved in handling our child’s case which lead to disinvites for speaking requests from those family agencies for me.
  6. The investigative agency acted out of standard operating procedure when they told the Family Advocacy Program to stand down. 

We have since asked that a curriculum on child sex crimes be built for the military investigative agency so that when they handle such crimes, they are equipped to handle them. 

We also learned that our child’s case was not entered into the Family Advocacy System of Record and it was not reviewed by the Clinical Case Staff Meeting meaning a Central Registry Board (CRB) was not opened. And separately a Family Child Care Panel was not held regarding the sexual assault, only the unconsented photographs. 

So, let’s take a moment to break this down. Since the Family Advocacy Program did not look into a maltreatment case reported to them it was not entered into a system called the Family Advocacy System of Record meaning that the next step of a Clinical Case Staff Meeting did not happen which means a CRB did not hear the case.

What does a CRB do and who sits on the CRB? The CRB is chaired by the vice wing commander, and membership includes the staff judge advocate, security forces, Office of Special Investigations, Family Advocacy officer, command chief master sergeant, and the member’s unit commander. The CRB hears cases of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse and neglect. There are strict guidelines and criteria for determining whether or not an allegation meets the Air Force definition for maltreatment. Once information on the case is presented, a show-of-hands vote determines whether or not a non-accidental act was committed, and if so, whether or not there was a significant impact from the act. The findings are entered into a DoD Central Registry database maintained by Brooks City-Base. 

The support of the Family Advocacy Program would have meant that the case would have been heard and our daughter and we would have had the tools to handle the emotional and mental health issues our daughter was experiencing. The opening and hearing of a CRB would have potentially stopped this FCC provider from opening at another base, and it would have unlocked additional base resources for us as parents.

But it didn’t happen, because we were not believed. We eventually collected ourselves enough and got our child into therapy at the local advocacy facility that helps treat children and their families who have experienced childhood sexual abuse through a state-funded victims grant. The interview to get her into therapy itself was a feat; we had to sit through a nearly two-hour interview explaining our family makeup and all that had happened. We basically had to relive what had become our worst nightmare. 

In our journey, we also learned that the Family Childcare Homes are licensed by the military branch they work under, not the local state. What does that mean for us as customers of the FCC homes? Well, when the state oversees daycares, they publicly publish the issues found upon inspections. With the FCC homes, those inspections just sit in a file in a desk on the military installation. As a parent, you will never know the issues this provider has had or were found upon inspection.

In all of this, we also realized that there isn’t a safe way to report sexual assaults on young children. 

In adult cases of sexual assault in the military, there is Restricted Report and Unrestricted. For children, there is not that. There is no organization or form to start a report. 

So as you can imagine you or your child’s privacy isn’t protected and in our case, it led to an extreme mishandling of our daughter’s case. For us, those who were interviewed by the military investigative agency were sharing that we came forward with a false report of sexual assault, and many in positions of authority were sharing our child’s private information about her sexual assault to their personal friends. Many did not and do not understand that no evidence is different than not enough evidence to proceed. Her Special Victims’ Counsel attempted to get this to stop and there be an understanding of this, but the leadership of the people doing it became complacent and continued to allow it to happen, leaving us unprotected. 

Earlier I mentioned our Special Victims Counsel — What is a Special Victim’s Counsel? It is a program developed by the military that is a military attorney who specializes in representing victims of sexual assault, sexual misconduct, stalking, and other similar crimes. Not anyone can get an SVC. You have to go through an application system, and you are not always granted one, but our daughter was. The SVC helped us as the parents of a minor understand the rules and regulations and what we could or couldn’t do. 

They helped my spouse request a humanitarian assignment because, at that time, Active Duty members could not get expedited transfers if their dependent was sexually assaulted. The request in itself was another lesson that we had to learn. 

Due to our daughter’s medical needs, they turned the humanitarian assignment into an EFMP assignment. 

We’ve heard of the medical EFMP issues, right? We had no idea how bad it was until we experienced it after all of the trauma that we went through. The local EFMP allowed us to PCS to another base with two possible therapists for her.

When we got there, we found out that one of the therapists they recommended saw sexual offenders, and the other didn’t exist. We ended up going through and calling 150 therapists in the “surrounding” area to find zero services. And after 5 months of searching, we ended up driving 150 miles weekly for therapy for her.

Thankfully, after ten months of a heated exchange with the local EFMP, they were able to reassign us to another base thanks to the AF & EFMP HQ because there were zero therapy services within the local area and none out of the network that Tricare could enroll. 

Having this type of crisis and trauma and additional EFMP issues was a difficult season of life — it’s not one that we’ve entirely made it out of, but we’re now in a spot where we can find a sliver of clarity to understand what our child and our family has lived these last 24 months. That sliver of clarity is helping us inform you of what we’ve lived through and what the current rules and regulations are.

I know that some will say in the comments, “make a congressional complaint or “go to the Inspector General,” they will fix it. Well, we have. Our congressmen told us they couldn’t investigate this, so to use the Inspector General. At the end of May of 2019, we submitted a 13-page complaint. This complaint was later broken into two cases — one at the local level and one through the military investigative agency.

For the local level one, we waited 19 months for it to conclude; to only be told the provider took unconsented photographs and everything else was done “right”. For the military investigative agency case, we were basically told: “our hands are tied, and everything was done right.” Until I got a call after requesting the FOIA. Then we’re then told that the case notes did not match what was happening in many ways the investigative agency acted outside of the “standard operating procedures.” 

Some will say, “go to a military non-profit that advocates and lobbies for change.” I have, but our situation doesn’t align with their ‘military family issues” or was viewed as “just a west coast issue, not one that is really “rampant” in our military.” 

A fraction of these issues we have lived through are in the 2021 NDAA in section 549B, I know, but it isn’t enough. Because It primarily covers the tracking of these cases. “Tracking it” will only be for the families they (local leadership/FAP/the military investigative agency) deem it for. Like in our case, we had medical evidence, but the military investigative agency said they didn’t have the “items needed” to consider a case to investigate and the Family Advocacy Program stood down. 

And to be honest, the tracking isn’t enough. There needs to be justice and resources for families before we fix the unemployment and underemployment issues because if our kids aren’t safe, then our careers won’t matter.  

As of right now, the military investigative agencies should not be handling child sex crimes. Because not all are not educated or trained in it. Child victims and their families need to be listened to and treated without bias.

There also needs to be a vast understanding of trauma and childhood mental health needs of child victims and what type of medical needs they will have after such trauma. The families should never be blamed or accused of “making the Doctor check the sexual assault box.”

Additionally, there needs to be more regulations on these in-home FCC daycares. Right now, with how the military investigative agencies rules are written with needing video or photographs to open an investigation and these homes not being required to have video, then the military itself is establishing a very viable breeding ground for these cases. They are not offering even a sliver of possible justice, especially when we do not have parents who have been educated on the signs of sexual abuse and assault. 

The bottom line though is if families aren’t believed, then tracking doesn’t matter, especially if there is no consequence for the offender or support that fully understands what trauma does to a child and what the family goes through in these types of painful crises. 

If military leadership and others empathized, lived, or tried to understand the pain that comes with a traumatized child that cannot verbalize their trauma, they would never begin to think that a family would choose this road that comes after such a tragic crisis.

 
Which is why I have founded Operation Addi to help push forward policy and program asks for military children who are victims of sexual assault or abuse. Because our children’s safety and healing matters. You can view the current policy and program asks here.

Filed Under: Military Children Tagged With: military children, Military Family, Military Family Advocacy, military life

Going Through a Deployment With Children

July 22, 2021 by Guest Writer Leave a Comment

Happy to have this guest post by Holly on going through a deployment with children. Please email me at Julie@soldierswifecrazylife.com and let me know if you would like to write a guest post for Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life too.

Going Through a Deployment With Children

The orders are cut and the news is official: your spouse is ready for another military deployment. As you’re trying to wrap your brain around the upcoming challenges, those tiny hands tug at your jeans needing another cup of juice. And then you remember, as much as a deployment is hard on you, you’ve got children to think about too.

What do you say? How do you tell them? How do you help them prepare and cope?

Decide on the Best Time

I’m not sure there’s any right answer here, but from my experience, the answer depends on the child’s age. When my son was toddler-aged, we usually didn’t tell him about upcoming deployments; he wouldn’t understand and with no concept of days, weeks, months, we would only be setting him up for anxiousness. Now that my son is 5, he knows that suitcases mean Daddy is leaving and he starts to ask questions.

Now that he’s older, we start talking to him only when my husband starts packing and there are visible changes around our house. We read our military deployment books and my husband schedules a day of fun activities with him before he leaves. 

Going Through a Deployment With Children

We love this book from Usborne Books!

Include Them

What started out as a cute Pinterest idea, turned into a lifesaver for us during deployments. We have a Deployment Wall in my office at home and my son loves to view where Daddy is on the map and talk about what time is it in “daddy’s time.” We have pins marked for home, and then all of the locations my husband has been sent.

We have a clock that marks the time change and then an erasable frame with his address, making it easy to find when we send care packages. My son also loves to send Daddy his artwork from school, so there’s a clipboard where we save it until the next package is sent. 

Going Through a Deployment With Children

Our “Deployment Wall”

Recognize their Feelings

It’s hard to juggle it all, for sure, but it’s important to remember that little people don’t always have the maturity to handle their concerned feelings the same way that we do. When my husband leaves, I’m always sure to let his teachers know that there’s a change at home and to update me with behavior changes. When he was younger, they often commented that he would be more whiny or anxious. 

Now, he usually wants to talk about Daddy and their latest conversations at school. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize their concerns in the pouting and whining, but that may be how they’re expressing their emotions about the deployment.  

With a little bit of patience and a whole lot of love, your family will survive and thrive through the challenges that come with military life. The blessing is that your children grow up knowing the true meaning of sacrifice, honor and patriotism because they see it in their parents every day.

Holly Corcoran is a military wife of 10 years, mom to one adorable and resilient seven-year-old, and third-grade teacher living in the flyover states. She juggles home, parenting, and teaching, while also sometimes taking calls from Afghanistan. Connecting with other military spouses and friends is a constant reminder “we’re always under the same sky.”

Filed Under: Military Children Tagged With: deployment with kids, military kids, surviving deployment

7 Ways to Survive This Summer…in GIFs

June 23, 2020 by Julie

It’s summer! Are you excited? Maybe you are feeling a bit disappointed about what summer is going to look like this year? I know I am.

There are a lot of things that have been canceled or won’t be happening this year. My youngest was supposed to go to his first overnight summer camp and we are super sad about that, as well as other summer activities we just can’t do right now.

We are going to have to have a lot more patience this summer than ever before, and try to keep a sense of humor about it. Here are 7 ways to get you through the summer…in GIFS.

1) Invest in a good sprinkler…for the kids, for the dog, and well for you too. You know you will want to take a run through them every once in a while.

via GIPHY

2) Binge watch something that will grab you from the start, and make it so you don’t want to do anything else. Watch out though, you might start to think that you are actually friends with the characters.

via GIPHY

3) Make cookies. Make all the cookies. Make chocolate chip cookies and sugar cookies and peanut butter cookies. You can even make oatmeal cookies. But whatever you do, do not make oatmeal cookies and let people think they are chocolate chip cookies. That is just not cool.

via GIPHY

4) Read all the books. There are so many good books out there. From beach reads to books that will get you to think about all the important topics. Find some paperbacks and sit outside, and get your reading on. Summertime is a good time for it.

via GIPHY

5) DIY everything! If you have downtime, why not use it to work on your home a bit? Step one) figure out what you want to do. That actually might take you all summer long, but that’s okay. You can always just watch HGTV as homework.

via GIPHY

6) Prepare for that PCS! Maybe you are not moving until December, but who cares. It’s time to research. Find out about your new home. Could that location change? Sure! But we milspouses know this, we just have to power through.

via GIPHY

7) Learn a new skill. I mean, why not? Learn how to knit, or take better photos. Learn how to play the guitar, or how to work on a website. The internet makes it so much easier these days and you never know when that new skill will lead to a different career path.

via GIPHY

I hope you are having a good summer, even though this summer is probably the oddest summer we will ever have.

Filed Under: Military Children Tagged With: military life, Surviving the summer

To the Mamas Raising the Little Tiny Kids

February 19, 2020 by Julie 1 Comment

To the Mamas Raising the Little Tiny Kids

My “baby” is 9, my oldest son, who was just one year old when my husband joined the Army, is 15. Sometimes I can’t even wrap my mind around that. I know it is cliche to say, but where did the time go?

How did we go from diapers to driving lessons? Time moves on and your babies grow up and that’s just how it goes.

There was a time when I had little tiny kids too. As I watch my Mommy friends with the little ones, it takes me back. I can still remember so much about those days. And they really don’t seem like that long ago.

I might be getting my oldest ready to learn how to drive but it wasn’t too long ago that I was the mom with the one and three-year-old. I had two in diapers for far too long. I remember that stage so very well.

Because of my oldest son’s speech delay, I didn’t have a child I could have a conversation with for many many years. I was the mom with the kids at home trying to make it through the day, each and every day, all year long, and sometimes during a deployment.

I remember how difficult it was to do just about anything. Those ages can wear a mama down. There is so much physical work associated with them. And it’s really hard for kids that young to help you in a way that can make things a little easier for you as a mom.

To The Moms Of The Really Little Kids

So, to the mamas raising the little tiny kids, know that the difficult stage you are currently in will eventually end and a new one will take its place. Some new stages will be harder, others a little easier.

Know that it is okay to feel tired. It’s ok to feel like this will always be your life. But as a mom of older kids, things will change, I promise.

Your children will enter new phases. You won’t always have diapers to change, sippy cups to refill, and strollers to put in your trunk. You won’t always have to sit through Peppa Pig or Paw Patrol. Your kids will grow out of all of that.

I would tell you to “cherish every moment” but you already know that. You know that this time will pass. Deep down you really do know this.

With every picture you take you are aware of the passing of time. So I won’t tell you to cherish this time. I will tell you it gets easier in a lot of ways.

I know not all moms of older kids feel that way. This is something that might just depend on your experiences but as some who had a pretty difficult time with toddlers, things did get easier as my children have gotten older.

I can tell you that you will feel more and more like yourself as your kids get older. I will also tell you that you will always want the best for them and that you will always worry. I am 41 and I know my mom still worries about me.

But motherhood evolves. It changes as your children change. From one stage to the next.

Keep doing what you are doing. Keep loving your children and helping them each day. You are doing a good job and things should get easier in a few years.

Life is funny. And as your kids get older, your life will change from season to season. So to the mamas raising the little tiny kids, us mamas with the older kids have been there and understand.

So take a deep breath, find ways to take care of you, and enjoy those sweet baby and toddler smiles and giggles. They are what you will remember the most as time moves on and your babies get older. And what makes the stage your in so wonderful no matter how difficult it might be.

Filed Under: Military Children Tagged With: life with kids, motherhood, Raising children

5 Tips For Using Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump

January 7, 2019 by Julie

5 Tips For Using Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump


5 Tips For Using Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump

This post is sponsored by the Breastfeeding Shop!

If you are pregnant or have a new baby, you could be getting ready to purchase or find your breast pump. Having a breast pump can be a good idea for a variety of reasons. Breast pumps are useful for encouraging your milk supply, to allow you to continue to breastfeed when you go back to work, and to help you store milk if you do need to be away from your baby for any reason.

Here are five tips for using your breast pump so you can get the most out of what the pump can provide for you and your baby. 

  • Have a nice set up area for your breast pump

Find a good place in your home where you will set up your breast pump. You can keep everything you need in that spot, and make sure the area gives you the space you need to pump. Once your baby comes, you will always have a place to go to pump or nurse your baby. 

  • Order your breast pump early

Make sure you order your breast pump early so that it is ready for when your baby comes. The Breastfeeding Shop is the best place to do so in order to receive your no-cost breast pump through your TRICARE benefit. You can easily fill out their order form, all you need is a prescription from your doctor. You can also use their handy app to order as well. The Breastfeeding Shop has quite a variety of breast pumps to choose from.

  • Find the right breast pump for your needs

When you are picking out your breast pump, make sure to find the one that works the best for your needs. Some moms will be returning to a job outside the home and will need to use a pump every day. Others will only be using their pumps when they need to make extra milk or to build up their supply. Research the different breast pumps to find the one that will work best. 

  • Learn how to use the breast pump before your baby comes

Once you get your breast pump, make sure you know how to use the pump before the baby comes. Get the parts and accessories cleaned and ready. This will save you time during those newborn and early baby days. 

  • Make sure you have supplies and accessories

In additions to breast pumps, you are also entitled to breast pump accessories through your TRICARE benefit. You will want to start out with enough of them and then plan to order more as need be. There are limits on what you can receive with your TRICARE benefit and you can order them from the Breastfeeding Shop too. 

If you are pregnant or just had a baby and have TRICARE, make sure you order your breast pump. The Breastfeeding Shop can get you started.

Filed Under: Military Children, Military Life, Sponsored Post Tagged With: military spouses, sponsored post, TRICARE

5 Misconceptions About Breastfeeding

November 15, 2018 by Julie

5 Misconceptions About Breastfeeding

This is a sponsored post! 

Before I ever had children, I knew I wanted to breastfeed once I had them. I was committed to doing this. But once my first baby was born, I realized that I had been wrong about some parts of breastfeeding.

I just assumed that because I wanted to breastfeed my son, and breastfeeding was natural, breastfeeding would be easy for us. That he would be born, I would start to nurse him, and everything would fall into place. In reality, things were more complicated than that.

5 Misconceptions About Breastfeeding

We eventually figured out how to make breastfeeding work, but not without help, many tears, and many frustrating nights.

Although many women do breastfeed successfully, there are many misconceptions about breastfeeding, here are five of them:

Breastfeeding will be easy since it is natural

As I mentioned above, I thought that since I wanted to breastfed so badly, things would work themselves out. In reality, breastfeeding doesn’t always come easy for everyone for many different reasons. A lactation consultant can be a great person to go to if you are struggling to get started with breastfeeding. Give yourself some time and patience and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

You won’t need a breast pump if you breastfeed

Did you know that with your TRICARE benefit you can receive a no-cost breast pump? You might be thinking you won’t need one if you are planning to breastfeed and be a SAHM. Or that you might not need one until the baby is a little older and you feel comfortable leaving them.

The truth is, a breast pump can be so helpful even in those early weeks. Breast pumps can build up an emergency supply of milk, relieve pain from engorgement, and help with your milk supply. Since you can easily order your breast pump through The Breastfeeding Shop, having one available to you from day one is a good idea.

The Breastfeeding Shop has many different choices of breast pumps, and you can easily order your pump through their app or online. You can also order your breast pump accessories or supplies through them. You can start by using their breast pump order form.

5 Misconceptions About Breastfeeding

You have to feed your newborn on a strict schedule

Feeding your baby on demand can be one way to feed your newborn. You don’t have to feed on a strict schedule. Your baby will give you cues to let you know when they are hungry. And in those first months, they will go through different growth spurts where they need to eat more than usual.

Not having your baby on a strict schedule doesn’t mean you can’t have a routine. Establishing routines with a baby can be very important. But not having too strict of a schedule with feeding can make the breastfeeding experience a little easier for everyone.

You can’t breastfeed and go back to work

You might be going back to work after your baby is born and not sure if you should continue to breastfeed. The truth is, you totally can. Going back to work doesn’t mean you have to stop breastfeeding. And can be another reason to order your TRICARE benefit breast pump.  Some breast pumps work better for everyday use than others so make sure to check into what the right breast pump would be for you.

You have to stop breastfeeding at a year

There is no rule that says you have to stop breastfeeding your baby at a year, or at nine months, or at six months. You need to do what works for you and your baby. Different people will have different comfort levels with how long they want to continue breastfeeding for.

Looking for more information on your TRICARE benefit breast pump? Here are some posts for you:

What You Need To Know About Ordering Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump Accessories and Supplies

FAQs About Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump Through The Breastfeeding Shop

How to Decide What Breast Pump is The Best One For You And Your Baby

Filed Under: TRICARE, Military Children, Sponsored Post Tagged With: sponsored post, The Breastfeeding Shop, TRICARE

Santa’s Dog and Bandana Giveaway

October 18, 2018 by Julie

Santa’s Dog and Bandana Giveaway

If you caught me on social media in September, you might have seen a post about Santa’s Dog. This book was written by JoAnn Sky and illustrated by Ed Koehler. JoAnn has offered up an awesome giveaway for my readers 🙂

Santa’s Dog is a rhyming story about the adventures of Santa’s best dog, Lance. He falls from the sleigh on Christmas Eve and is taken in by the animal shelter and then brought home by a military family who needs some help as Dad is called to serve his country. When Christmas Eve comes, Lance must decide whether to return to the North Pole with Santa or stay with the family.

Santa’s Dog is perfect for all children, dog lovers, and military families.

JoAnn Sky is an award-winning author who writes adult contemporary romance, young adult romance, and children’s stories. Originally from the midwest, JoAnn lives in Northern Nevada with her family and three crazy rescue dogs. 

Now for the giveaway. We will be giving away TWO copies of the book Santa’s Dog, each one with a bandana. One will be red, one will be green.

Santa'a DogHow do you enter?

Simple, leave a comment letting me know how old your military children are 🙂 US/APO addresses only! 

This giveaway will go until Thursday, October 26th, 2018, 11:59 pm and a winner will be picked the next day!

Good luck 🙂

And if you would like more information about Santa’s Dog, please visit Dogs and Books 🙂

You can also visit JoAnn Sky’s site or Ed Koehler’s site. 

Filed Under: Military Children, Giveaways & Reviews Tagged With: books, giveaway, military children

7 Must Have Baby Products For Your New Baby

October 10, 2018 by Julie

7 Must Have Baby Products For Your New Baby

This post is sponsored by the Breastfeeding Shop

7 Must Have Baby Products For Your New Baby

Getting ready for a new baby is always a whole lot of fun and with a new baby comes new baby products. Some you need, some you don’t.

When you go to register for your baby shower, you can become quite overwhelmed by everything that is out there. What kind of stroller should you get? Which type of crib? Do you even need to buy a swing? There are so many options!

And while it is true you don’t need everything, even if everyone else on the block has it, there are some baby products that are a must, and that you don’t want to live without.

Here is my list of 7 must have baby products for your new baby:

Bassinet/Co-sleeper

All babies need a place to sleep. For me, I loved having them in my room with me at first so they started off in a co-sleeper and eventually moved to a crib months later. Having this by my bed was good for me and for them. I also liked having a safe place for them to go when I needed to take a shower or put them down so I could get things done. One of our co-sleepers turned into a Pack N Play which was also very handy once they were a little older.

Crib

While we didn’t use a crib right away, having one was a must. As they got older, I knew they would be safe there and would be able to sleep. Cribs come in all types of styles and designs so you should be able to find one you love. Having a crib that turned into a toddler bed is also a good idea because that means when they do hit the age where they can climb out, you can turn the crib into a toddler bed and not have to buy anything else for a few more years.

Auto-ship diapers

This was something we only had with my youngest son but having diapers come to your house on a regular basis is a must. No more running out at night to grab a pack, or always making sure you add them to your shopping list. My Diaper Shop is a good place to set that up and make things a little easier even before baby comes. With this service, you can choose from two different brands of diapers, Comfees, and Cuties, and set things up to deliver to your home as often as you need them.

7 Must Have Baby Products For Your New Baby

Breast Pump

Having a good working breast pump for your new baby is a must. If you have TRICARE you are able to receive one no-cost breast pump per birth event. You can do this through The Breastfeeding Shop. They offer a great selection of pumps and you can easily order yours right from their website or app.

Stroller

A stroller was must for me so that I could go on walks, have a place for them to be during appointments or even playdates for my older children. A double stroller saved my life during those early years as my older two boys are just about two years apart. Find one that fits your needs and has good ratings and talk to your friends about what they have used and loved.

7 Must Have Baby Products For Your New Baby

Baby carrier

Finding a good baby carrier is also a must. There are many different types of slings or other babywearing items. You might want to buy a couple of different types for different reasons. Try a few out, and see what works for you and your lifestyle. Some people babywear all the time, others only when they go out. I know when my youngest was born and I had a 4 and 6-year-old, my baby carrier was a must that allowed me to have two free hands when I had to take all three of them to the store.

Swing

Although I didn’t use the swing for very long, having one helped so much in those early months. I used a few different swings and my favorite was the one that had many different options for the type of movement they would create for the baby. Often times I could use the swing to put them down for a nap or to calm them down when nothing else worked.

For more information on your TRICARE benefit breast pump, please visit these blog posts too:

What You Need To Know About Ordering Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump Accessories and Supplies

FAQs About Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump Through The Breastfeeding Shop

Why You Don’t Have to Buy Bottles For Your Breast Pump

Filed Under: Military Children, Sponsored Post Tagged With: Babies, military children, sponsored post, TRICARE

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About Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

 

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I first became a military spouse in 2005 when my husband of 3 years re-joined the Army. Then, in 2014, he joined the National Guard. In January of 2024, he retired from the National Guard after 21 years of service.

During our time in the military, we got to spend 4 years in Germany as well as Tennessee where we now call home.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, PCS moves, or anything else military life brings you through my articles and social media posts.

 

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