Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Military Children

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

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16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

I had exactly 13 months of raising children before we became a military family. When my husband joined the military in 2005, our oldest son was only a little over a year. All the parenting I have done after that has been within military life and culture, at least to some extent.

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

April is the month of the military child, here are 16 ways to know that you are raising children in a military family:

1. None of your children were born in the same place!

One in California, one in Tennessee, one in Germany, what’s so weird about that?

2. You have photos of your children in actual castles, one that is right down the street.

You still can’t get over that you used to live in a house down the street from a castle. Thank you overseas orders.

3. You have a kid-size pair of ACUs somewhere in your home.

You bought them when your husband first joined, and now all your kids have worn them for Halloween.

4. You can’t totally remember if your senior in high school started kindergarten when you were stationed at Fort Riley or if that happened after you moved to Fort Campbell.

Your memory is a little fuzzy back then, and it could have been either place really.

5. They are the cousins that family back home doesn’t quite know as well as the ones that live right there.

Sadly, this can happen because you just can’t seem to get orders for anywhere close to home.

6. Spending time with extended family is always so special because it doesn’t get to happen as often as you would like.

Yes, yes it is.

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

7. Turning 10 is an exciting day, your kids get their very own ID.

And make sure to always have it with you, in case you need it.

8. Your kids know what it is like to be the new boy or girl in class.

Being the new kid is never easy, but in some cases, they are not the only one living in a military town.

9. They also know what it is like to spend a few years in England and then spend a few years in Hawaii.

Or maybe it is more like a few years in Texas and then a few in Alaska. Military kids get to live in different places, and that can make for a pretty fantastic childhood.

10. Your children know what it means when mom gets a little teary and there seem to be more military bags around the house.

Children figure it out, and they know the signs of an upcoming deployment.

11. You have had to reassure a child that they will see their Dad soon, even though you know soon is in four months.

And part of your worries that they might never come back, but you never share that worry with your kids.

12. You have cursed out a bad internet connection because it is your son’s birthday and they wanted to share it with mom across the miles.

That is the worst; kids don’t always understand that it is the connection that is the problem, and not that their mom or dad doesn’t want to talk with them.

13. You have so many Daddy Dolls around the house that they could start their own preschool.

You get them before every deployment, and even sometimes in between.

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

14. Your children use pencils to do homework with USAA, NavyFed, and MWR on them.

You also get these free at every event or fair you have been to in the last five years. But hey, you never run out of these important homework tools.

15. You had at least one of your children during a deployment and thought you were pretty amazing for doing that without your spouse by your side.

Giving birth without your spouse isn’t easy, but we military spouses know doing so could be apart of the deal.

16. You know this life is difficult sometimes, but you also know there are so many amazing things that your kids will get to experience because of raising kids in a military family.

Some days, being a military family can be so hard, but that doesn’t mean military life is without its benefits. Serving your country means being apart of something important. And when you look back in the years to come, you will see how much your family has gained from being apart of the military community.

10 Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

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10 Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

10 Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

Did you know that April is the month of the military child? A time to reflect on and appreciate our young military “brats” and all they have to deal with. A time to think about how they conquer the battles and disappointments that come with military life. A time to remember all the fun memories you have made with them through the years, simply because one of their parents is a service member.

Here are 10 memes for the military spouse with children. All about raising the next generation through the hurdles of military life:

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

No matter how the deployment goes, watching your kids run into the arms of your spouse at homecoming will melt your heart!

 

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

PCSing can be stressful for the kids too. Remember that and work through their frustrations. Let them know they can depend on you even if the rest of their world is changing around them.

 

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

What works for one child might not work for another. Figure out what will help your child through a deployment based on what they need and what will work best for them.

 

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

Solo parenting isn’t easy, and it can wear you down. Do what you can to take care of yourself so you can be the best mom or dad you can be for your kids when your spouse is deployed.

 

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

Don’t be afraid to get out there and make memories together. You can then share them with the deployed parent.

 

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

Cereal for dinner, totally okay!

 

Yep, you might not even know what country you will be in.

 

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

Yes! So true! Mine were born in three different places, including two different countries.

 

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

This part of military life sucks. Having to comfort a child that simply doesn’t understand why their mom or dad can’t be there.

 

Memes for the Military Spouse With Children

What else does a military spouse with children want? A free nanny of course! At least for some of the time. Oh well, we can dream, can’t we???

 

 

To the Military Spouse Whose Child Has Just Been Diagnosed With Autism

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To the Military Spouse Whose Child Has Just Been Diagnosed With Autism

In January of 2012, after a few months of testing, our middle son was diagnosed with Autism. At the time he was given the diagnosis of Asperger’s which they have since stopped doing. If he were diagnosed today, he would have gotten the “high-functioning Autism” diagnosis.

To the Military Spouse Whose Child Has Just Been Diagnosed With AutismThat day we found out what was going on with our son, and how we could help him. My biggest fear when we started the testing and doctor’s appointments was that they would come back and say they couldn’t see anything was wrong. Why? Because I knew something clearly was and I knew getting that diagnosis would help us understand how we could help our son.

At that time in our lives, we were not a stranger to special needs kids.

Our oldest son had been diagnosed with a developmental delay when he was three. We knew about speech and OT and special needs preschool. We were also pretty confident that our son would grow out of his delay, which he has. Autism is a different story.

You don’t grow out of Autism. Autism is something you have for your entire life. But that doesn’t mean that a person diagnosed with Autism can’t learn and grow as a person either. It simply means that Autism will be something they work through for the rest of their lives.

To the Military Spouse Whose Child Has Just Been Diagnosed With Autism

We started ABA with our son right away, and that helped us be able to navigate through our son’s behaviors, set him up for school, and allowed us to get that extra help and support we needed to figure out this new normal for our lives.

Right now our son is 11 and will be starting middle school next fall. This completely freaks me out. I am not sure how things are going to go. We have an excellent team at the elementary school, many of them have worked with our son since he was five years old and started kindergarten. We already have a meeting scheduled at the middle school this spring, and I just have to have faith that everything will work out for him.

As I look back on the last six years or so, I can’t help but think about all we have been through.

And while we were working with our son, figuring out what is best for him, working with ABA and the schools, we were living this crazy military life too. My husband deployed again in 2013, and I think part of the reason that deployed shook me so much was that I knew I would be the solo parent carrying for my son, as well as his brothers. At the time, he was struggling a lot with school, and it was hard enough when my husband was home. This is just one of the many challenges a military spouse is going to have when they have a spouse in the military.

So, to the military spouse whose child has just been diagnosed with autism, I know how scared you might be. For months, maybe even years you may have been wondering what is going on with your son or daughter. You may have had to fight for your doctor to even take you seriously. You might feel lost not knowing how to truly help your child.

To the Military Spouse Whose Child Has Just Been Diagnosed With Autism

And once you receive that diagnosis, you might be worried about how things are going to go in the future.

Everything you thought about parenting a child has been turned on its head. You thought you were getting on a plane to “Italy” and now you are in “Holland” and not sure how to make everything work. This is normal.

Don’t beat yourself up if it takes you or your spouse some time to fully accept the diagnosis. No one walks out of that doctor’s appointment knowing exactly what to do or what the diagnosis even means. That takes some time.

Before your child was diagnosed with autism, you might not have ever heard of the term EFMP (The Exceptional Family Member Program,) but now, that term is going to be a big part of your life when your spouse is in the military. EFMP is the program that is supposed to help your child get the services they need during your time in the military.

EFMP will make sure that you don’t get stationed somewhere without services for children with Autism.

While this can be a bit frustrating at times, especially when it comes to your spouse’s career in the military, EFMP is something you need to keep updated. Any military family who gets orders for an OCONUS location will also have to go through the EFMP screening too.

As you start to become more comfortable with Autism, you will start to notice something. One child with Autism is one child with Autism. It is called the Autism spectrum for a reason. Not everyone with that diagnosis is the same.

While there are traits that kids on the spectrum share, each kid on the spectrum can be different. My son had no issues with speech. While his older brother struggled, that wasn’t one of the things I worried about with him when he was a toddler and young preschooler.

To the Military Spouse Whose Child Has Just Been Diagnosed With Autism

As you tell people about the diagnosis, you might get some interesting responses.

From people who are trying to help to people who are very uneducated about what having a child on the spectrum means. At some point, you might start to feel like everyone has an opinion about what you should do for your child. But here is the thing, you are the parent, you are the one that decides.

You are the one that has to make the choices. You are the one that lives with your son or daughter and any choice you have to make. So don’t be afraid to ignore lousy advice or to tell people you are doing what you think is best even though it is different from what they would do if they were in your shoes.

Find supportive friends and spend more time with them.

Over the years we have had friends that have opened my son and our family into their lives and understand that he struggles with certain things other kids don’t. During deployments, these friends were even more important. I didn’t have another parent in the house to help; their kindness helped me through those times when I didn’t think I could do it anymore.

As a military spouse, you know that sometimes your service member will have to deploy or be away from you for weeks or months at a time. A diagnosis of Autism isn’t going to keep them home. I know how hard this can be and how overwhelmed you can feel.

To the Military Spouse Whose Child Has Just Been Diagnosed With Autism

Look for help. Look for respite. Find good child care providers that can help you.

Go to a church that gets it and wants to help instead of one that simply wants to shame your child. Reach out to family members who may be willing to stay with you for a while. Know that reaching out for extra help isn’t a weakness and will be your best bet in getting through all of this.

Know that you are not the only one with a special needs child in the military. There are so many of us out there, and we all want the same thing. We want to help our children, we want the best for them, and we want to figure out how to do all of that within the military system.

Here are some additional resources to help you as you navigate autism within your military world as well as a few military spouse bloggers that also have kids on the Autism spectrum:

Military Special Needs Network

Singing Through the Rain: Military Life & Special Needs

EFMP + Special Needs with the National Military Spouse Family Association

American Military Families Autism Support

Life Journey Through Autism: A Guide for Military Families

Military One Source 

Airing My Laundry

Autism Speaks

Advocating for ABA TRICARE Policy Change

Why Autism Awareness Matters

MilKids Education Consulting 

Do you have a child with autism too?

Why You Don’t Have to Buy Bottles For Your Breast Pump

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The Breastfeeding Shop

This is a sponsored post by the Breastfeeding Shop. 

Why You Don’t Have to Buy Bottles For Your Breast Pump

If you don’t know already, TRICARE has an amazing benefit for pregnant or new moms. You can receive one breast pump for every birth event from TRICARE through a company like The Breastfeeding Shop. They will help you receive your pump through their website.

In addition to a breast pump, you can also receive free breast pump supplies which includes bottles. This means, you don’t have to buy any on your own, you can get them with your benefit. When you are using a breast pump, a good bottle is a must. You will need to them to be able to feed your baby. While some breast pumps use bags, others you can connect the bottles right to the machines for easier feeding.

Here are a few things to know about receiving bottles and other breast pump accessories from the Breastfeeding Shop:

  • You can only receive the additional accessories after the birth event.
  • If you have already received your initial pump and accessories and your baby has been born, you must wait 60 days to reorder.
  • Your bottles will come with an accessory kit.
  • Your accessory kit will depend on the brand of your breast pump. For those with Medela, Ameda, and Spectra pumps, you will receive specific accessory kits for those brands. All other pumps will receive the same type of kit.
  • You can order breast milk storage bags and flanges separately.
  • The Breastfeeding Shop has an easy TRICARE accessory kit order form you can fill out online.
  • If you don’t want to order online, you can also order over the phone by calling them at 866-255-6779.

If you are curious about how to receive your pump in the first place or are looking for more information about this benefit and The Breastfeeding Shop, check out these posts to help:

How You Can Get A Breast Pump Through TRICARE for $0

Which Breast Pump Is Best For You?

Can You Really Get A No Cost Breast Pump For Each Baby Through TRICARE?

How to Decide What Breast Pump is The Best One For You And Your Baby

If you have any questions about how to receive your pump, make sure to contact The Breastfeeding Shop. They can help you with the paperwork and everything you need to do in order to receive your benefit.

Have you received a no cost breast pump with your TRICARE benefit? What brand did you go with?

 

How Going Through a Long Deployment Shaped My Parenting

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How Going Through a Long Deployment Shaped My Parenting

When my husband deployed for the first time my oldest son was 23 months old and I was 25 weeks pregnant. I was a new mom with some parenting experience under my belt. I was still learning a lot, and we were slowly leaving the baby stage. And just like that, it was just my son and me.

A few months later our 2nd little boy was born. My husband came home for R&R and met him when he was three days old. He left again when he was almost three weeks and didn’t come home again for 11 months.

During all this time I was a solo parent. My husband was overseas, fighting in a war and I was in charge of two little boys. I was still growing and learning as a parent, but I didn’t get the chance to do that with my husband. I did this by myself, and that changed so much about the way I would parent in the years to come.

How Going Through a Long Deployment Shaped My Parenting

We have been through other deployments since but there is just something about that deployment that sticks out to me. Something about that deployment changed me into the person I am today, into the parent I am today. That deployment was about survival for me, getting through each and every day.

Every day I had to make sure everyone was fed, clothed and got enough sleep. Once bedtime came, I felt like I had accomplished something big. I always feel that way during a deployment but especially during that first one.

That long deployment taught me a few things about parenting that stick with me to this day.

Long Deployment

You Have To Let Things Go

There are so many parenting choices out there. From breastfeeding vs. formula, to how you give birth and how you discipline. What I learned during deployments was that the little debates we have don’t matter. You have to do what is right for you.

I can’t beat myself up if a parenting choice isn’t going to work for us anymore. As long as my children are being taken care of and being raised in a loving home, nothing else really matters. I couldn’t do everything, and I was only one person.

Don’t Judge Other Parents

We all have our circumstances and different experiences which shape us into who we are. We all have reasons for why we do the things we do as a parent. We might not totally understand why other parents do things the way they do, but as long as they are not abusing or hurting their child, we shouldn’t be judging them about their own parenting journeys. Most parents are trying to do what is best and we should respect that.

Things Would Be Different If My Husband Never Had To Go Away

I think things would be very different for me if my husband never had to go away, especially for over a year when my kids were so small. I would have an extra person to bounce ideas off of. Potty training with my oldest wouldn’t have taken so long. I probably would have been able to breastfeed for a little longer, and life would be a little calmer during those years.

But my husband is in the Army, so he does have to go away for periods of time. I have to work with this and do the best I can. I can’t spend too much energy beating myself up for the choices I have made during deployments. There are other lives we could be living, but those lives are not where we are. 

long deployment

My parenting is always evolving. Based on the kids and our experiences. Based on when my husband is home and when he isn’t. Things are always changing, and I am always surprised by each stage. I never truly know how our family will handle them or how much my husband would be a part of that stage of our lives.

As I look ahead at another possible deployment and the ages my kids will be, I know that deployment will be very different from the one we went through back in 2006 and 2007. We will have different challenges and even if I don’t want to, I might have to handle some of those alone.

I could easily look back over the years and call myself a bad parent. My kids watched too much tv and have probably had too much pizza. They don’t always get to do all the things they could do if we had always had two parents in the home. That is our life, and as they get older, I can see more and more that they will look back on their childhoods with good and happy memories.

The 15-month deployment we went through set me up for my years of parenting, for good or for bad. Going through that has made me the mom and the person I am today. For good and for bad. I want to embrace that instead of crying over what else could have been.

How has parenting changed for you because of deployments?

Join my email list and receive a free Guide for your first 30 days of deployment! 

10 Reasons Why Pokemon Go Is The Best Thing Ever

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Pokémon Go

10 Reasons Why Pokemon Go Is The Best Thing Ever

Unless you have been living under a big rock, you should have heard of Pokémon Go by now.

Pokémon Go is a free game you can find on iOS and Android devices. Developed by Niantic and published by the Pokémon Company. This game came out last week. Has it only been a week?

I discovered Pokémon when I was about 21 years old. I played it on my Gameboy for a few years. Over time I stopped playing the game but we still have my red and blue games here in the house. A couple of years ago my son started getting into collecting the cards has one of the newer games for the DS.

I saw on Twitter that there was a new game for Pokémon lovers for your phone. I had to check it out. So I did.  I learned this game wasn’t just a game you play on your own in your own home. This is a game that you have to play out and about in your community. And I was hooked. I told my boys right away and they were so excited about Pokemon Go too.

It took a few days to figure out how to play Pokemon Go.  The game kept having overloaded servers the first few days but we soon learned a little bit about the game. How you only have so many Pokémon balls to start. Whoops. How you can get more by leveling up and by going to a Pokémon stop. What’s that?

We found out that a Pokemon stop was where you can get extra items for your Pokemon and the game. It seems that almost every church in our city has at least 2-3 Pokemon stops. They are also in other places like parks and stores. We are still trying to figure out how the gyms work.

With the fast popularity of Pokémon Go, I wonder how long people will be playing it. Will we all go out on a snowy day to find more Pokémon? Maybe not. We will have to wait and see what happens. However, this summer, for the few weeks we have left of it, my boys and I will be playing Pokémon Go.

Because Pokémon Go really is the best thing ever. This is why…

1. We can play it together. We only have 2 phones in our house this will work on. One is mine, one is my husband’s so my boys are not going to have their own games. I have been taking turns with them. They usually get to hunt for Pokémon while we are driving and I have them tell me about any Pokémon stops they see along the way. Then we can go back to the ones I feel comfortable about.

2. It’s a walking game. Yes, you can play while driving but walking is even better. When you are driving you can capture Pokémon but it seems a little easier to do so while walking. This game is getting more and more people out and about. Which is a good thing.

Pokémon Go

3. We are meeting people in the community. We haven’t been out as much as I would have liked with Pokémon Go but the times we have it is really great to see others in our community and ask them if they are playing too. People are talking to each other. After what happened in Dallas, Minnesota, and Baton Rouge last week, this is a good thing. Who knew we would achieve world peace through Pokémon?

4. Because you can play Pokémon in the real world. This game is a great mix between the real world and the imaginary one. I love that. I love that we see Pokemon while out and about. That they show up in weird places.

5. The game gets us to explore. There are a lot of places around here that have a lot of Pokémon. This makes us want to go and explore them. While I don’t want to go anywhere I would think was unsafe just to get a Pokémon, going to see parts of our city that we normally wouldn’t is going to be a lot of fun. If you are new to a city, it would be a great way to get out and explore with your kids.

6. It’s free. While you can buy things in the game with real money, you don’t have to and I love that. I love that we can go out and do something fun together without having to spend any money to do so.

7. Pokemon Go has been good for mental health. I have seen quite a few articles about how this game is helping people with mental health issues like anxiety and depression and helping those with Autism. And that is a good thing.

Pokémon Go

8. Pokemon Go is opening up a door. I think we will see more and more technology like this come out into the world. I would love to see something like this for the Sims games or even Disney. The possibilities are endless.

9. New safety guidelines. This might be the push a lot of people need for more safety guidelines when it comes to phones and cars. Phones are not going anywhere and some states still allow you to drive and use them. Maybe the popularity of this game will help with laws and keeping people more aware of when they are on their phones? There are always going to be people who ignore these laws but if games like this are going to be the future, we need to be aware of how to use them safely, especially when the games involve our kids.

10. Communities. Did I mention this is getting people to talk to one another? Pokemon is getting people to create meetups. The game is bringing people together and that is a good thing.

So if you want to play Pokémon Go, go check the game out. Pokémon can be a lot of fun for you and your kids. Remember to never Pokémon while driving a car and be aware of the people around you. Stay away from places you are not sure about and make sure your kids know how to stay safe too.

Have you started playing Pokemon Go yet?

The Truth About Parenting

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The Truth about parenting

Want to know the truth about parenting?

I have been a mom for almost 11.5 years now and it has been quite the journey. It has been nothing like I thought it would be.

Back in junior high, high school and college, I babysat a lot. I watched a lot of kids over those years. I thought I had it figured out.

And maybe I did have the basics figured out. That you needed to make sure they were fed, changed, dressed and loved. That you could make them laugh and that you could help them grow up. What I didn’t fully understand was how much being a parent was going to be the hardest thing I have ever done and that parenting would always  be that way, whether my children were babies or whether they were all grown up and out of the house.

When you only have little babies you have to figure out how you are going to mother them. Should you let them cry it out? How long should you breastfeed for? Does it really matter what toys they play with? You always have to wonder if you are doing parenting right.

Then they become toddlers and you enter a whole new world. I remember the moment when my sweet little boy hit that new stage and threw a sippy cup at me because he was mad he had to go to bed. Say what? Who is this child and where did they come from?

I didn’t know that the threes would be much harder than the twos. That potty training would drive me to the edge of insanity. That having two in diapers really wasn’t as hard as people said it was going to be. That I would struggle so much with the spanking issue, that I would have to do a lot of solo parenting or that I would only raise all boys.

Parenting is full of a lot of surprises.

Before I had kids I had some ideas about parenting but over time those ideas have shifted and while some things have always been important to me, other views got lost somewhere between the midnight feedings and fit throwing toddlers.

I didn’t think I would ever use a stroller. HA! What was I thinking? A stroller saved my life when I had a 3 and 1-year-old. I am not sure how I could have lived without it.

As I look back over the last 11 years I can tell you some stages in parenting are much harder than others. Did I mention potty training??? UH! Glad we are done with that.

But as I look ahead I see those teenage years and puberty and getting into colleges and I wonder how those years are going to go. Will they stress me out as much as toddlerhood did? Is that even possible? Will I be able to make the right decisions? What if I make a big mistake?

I know that you can read all the parenting books your library has and still not quite understand your kid.

And even if you did, here comes the next kid. This one very different from the first kid and he or she will make you throw everything you know about children out the window.

Children are complex and what works for one won’t work for another. Throw special needs into the mix and you have added another layer to try to figure out.

After my boys go to bed and the house is quiet I sometimes think about where I am in my life. I was the one who wrote “Mommy” as a child when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I am living my dream. Three healthy boys to love and to raise. However, it is sometimes hard to sit back and enjoy it when you are going from kid to kid to dog to house to business and it all seems a little too much.

But in those quiet moments, I can think about my boys and what they mean to me. The ways they made me laugh that day instead of the ways they made me cry. I can think about who they are today and who they are going to be in the future. I see myself in them. I see my husband in them. These children that we created.

The truth about parenting is that it is unexpected, it can throw you for a loop, it can make you laugh and make your cry, all in the same afternoon. Parenting can cause you to swell with pride when you are having a good day and make you rethink everything on a bad one. It’s fulfilling and it isn’t. It is everything and yet just a part of who I am.

The truth about parenting is that you really have to take it one day at a time because otherwise it will overwhelm you in a way nothing else ever could. But at the end of the day, every minute, every hard and difficult minute is worth everything.

the truth about parenting

How many children do you have? How old are they???

 

Want to connect with other moms who get parenting? Head on over to Hello Mamas to connect 🙂

 

On Buying Christmas Gifts For Your Children

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On Buying Christmas Gifts For Your ChildrenOn Buying Christmas Gifts For Your Children

Tis the season for buying Christmas gifts for your children. The stores are having sales, your kids are making Christmas lists and it is easy to feel overwhelmed by it all. You remember Christmas as a kid and you want to make Christmas for your kid just as special as you remember your childhood Christmases being. In some cases you might want to be doing more since you might not have the best memories when you were growing up.

How do you decide what to give your kids? How do you make Christmas special without going overboard? Should you stick to the 4 presents rule that is going around social media? Should you have a firm limit? What do you do if your kid asks Santa for something you simply can’t afford?

There is a lot to think about when it comes to buying Christmas gifts for your children.

There are a few things you can do to get more organized and to come up with a good plan so that they can have a good Christmas and you can feel good about what you buy them.

Stick to a plan

This is a must. If you just walk into toy stores buying random gifts, you are going to go overboard. Start with your budget. Talk it over with your spouse and think about how much you want or you can spend on each child. Start writing down ideas. Have your kids make their Christmas lists too. That helps a lot with figuring out what would be best and what you can afford to get them. I usually start sometime in November and start putting things into Amazon. I put them in my cart and then hit “Save for later.” When I do that, every time I go to my cart Amazon will give me an updated list of prices and then I pretty much stock the site to try to grab the gifts when they go down in price. It also allows me to have a place where I can organize what I will be getting them. I have done this for years and it is a great way to stay organized.

Play Santa

I love Santa, I always have and we have never had anything but good memories from him coming to our house. This year we only have one little boy who still believes but I know the magic will still be there. His brothers know not to let him in on the secret so I hope they stick to that. As for the Santa gifts, what I have always done is just wrap up everything and put “to” on the gift and no “from” if it is something that is either from us or from Santa. I know this won’t work for every child. Some kids will want to know why it doesn’t say who it is from. But my kids? They don’t seem to mind so it works for us. To them, Santa comes on Christmas and leaves a few gifts. The rest are from mom, dad or other family members. I do use different types of wrapping paper as well.

Talk with them about Christmas giving

I think it can be great to talk with your children about why we give presents in the first place, why we celebrate Christmas, the story of the birth of Jesus or anything else that can go beyond just making a Christmas list for their favorite toys. It is good for them to see why there is a Santa in the first place, why families give each other gifts and what we can do to help others during this time. I think it you can do this it won’t matter as much what you actually give them. I also tell them that just because it is on their Christmas list does not mean they are going to get it. The Christmas list is not a genie in a bottle, it is there to help others know what they are into that year and what they might like to see under the tree.

Try not to stress

At the end of the day your Christmas has to look like your Christmas. You know your own kids, you know what works and you know what you can give to them. See what you can buy your kids from their lists, shop sales and look for deals. One year, all my son wanted was a Darth Fader Lego Figure. At the time I thought the only way to get it was by buying a $100+ Lego set and that wasn’t going to happen. I looked and I looked and finally I found the Lego watch that came with a figure too. It took some time to figure that out and it wasn’t the first thing I thought of but it was great to see his face on Christmas morning. Other years we have not been able to get them their #1 toy. It happens. I remember always wanting a Cricket doll and I never got one. Kids get over it. So when you are busy looking for those gifts, try not to stress if you can’t make one happen. There are other things they might enjoy and you can work towards buying those instead. If you do have a disappointed kid on Christmas, use it as a time to talk about others, gift giving and how some children don’t get anything at all. There are ways to use that to help them understand more about other people.

Do you do anything specific when you are buying Christmas gifts for your children? Any great ideas you have come up with over the years?