Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Military Life

On the Other Side of Service

by Leave a Comment

It’s been 19 years since my husband re-joined the Army, and we were sent to Germany for four years. 18 years since I joined him, and he was deployed to Iraq for the first time. 10 years since we went from Army active duty to National Guard, and 10 months since he officially retired from the military. And this side of it feels a little bit normal and a little bit weird.

There was a time during his military service when I felt he was never home. There was always a long deployment, a training, or a monthly drill sending him away. He was always going to miss something. Big things like the birth of our second child or little things like a fun event at church. And everything in between.

There Are Huge Spaces in My Scrapbook Where He is Missing

There are huge spaces in my scrapbook where he is simply missing, and at times, it never felt like we would get to the point where we are today. A time when he would never go away. When he would never have to. When the military didn’t have a say. 

It’s been 10 months since his last drill. Last year, during his December drill, a tornado ripped through our city. I will never forget that. 

After 10 years of drill weekends, I developed a bit of a routine. There were lots of movies and TV shows he wouldn’t be interested in, Chinese food, and decluttering sessions. And now all that is over. He is home with us every weekend.

He Was Gone For So Much of My Children’s Younger Years

He was gone for so much of my children’s younger years. Birthdays, first steps, special needs diagnosis, vacations, and day-to-day life. 

But now he is here for all of it. All the big things and the little ones. 

As he retired from the National Guard, we didn’t have to think about where we would move. However, I hope we can eventually find a new place to call home. Since we were not day-to-day Army, that transition wasn’t as encompassing.

There Are Things I Am Getting Used In This New Normal

But beyond him going away for drill and other duties, there are a few other things I am getting used to.

Whenever we planned a trip, either as a family or solo, I always worried that something would come up and make us cancel. Like it did in 2020. Now, I no longer have that worry, and it’s hard to wrap my mind around. 

I sometimes miss being an Army wife and being in that community, but some of that has more to do with working full-time hours and my age. Still, I do feel disconnected from a community that was so much in my life for so many years.

Life Goes On, Seasons Change

But like anything else, life goes on. Seasons change, and things are different from how they used to be. Here, on the other side of military life, we are finding our new normal as husband and wife and family.

The me of 15 years ago dreamed of the day I would no longer have to miss my husband. That I would no longer fear so much for his safety. That I would no longer worry when the next deployment would hit or how I would get through it. And now here we are. On the other side of service. 

Are you a veteran spouse too? What has been the biggest adjustment?

On the other side of service

When Your Boyfriend Wants to Join the Military

by

What You Should Do When Your Boyfriend Wants to Join the Military

So your boyfriend wants to join the military? What will that mean for your relationship?

You two have been dating for a few months, and everything seems good. You are falling for one another hard. But you have plans. You are going to graduate college and then try to find a job in your field. You hope that things keep going well for you and your boyfriend but you waiting to see how it goes. But then, one day, he says he needs to talk to you about something important.

He sits you down and says, “Babe, I think I want to join the military.”

You have been single for a while; then your friend introduces the two of you. You hit it off, and before you know it, you are on date number three. But then, he lets you know that next year he will be joining the Army.

You and your boyfriend just started your senior year; you have been together since you were 15 years old. You want to marry him. As you are figuring out what you will do after high school, he tells you he wants to sign up for the Air Force.

Any of these situations sound familiar? While there are many different ways to become a military spouse, hearing your boyfriend talk about enlisting in the military is the first step to one of them. If this is you, you might be a bit confused, a bit terrified, and a bit unsure of what you should do.

You want to support the man you love, but what does this mean for your future together?

Breathe

The first thing you want to do when your boyfriend tells you he wants to join the military is to take a deep breath. This doesn’t have to mean the end of you two. In fact, joining the military could be a very good thing.

Try not to jump to conclusions quite yet. You need to figure out his plan first. You need some time to think about if this is what you want for your future too.

Find out what his plan is

Talk to your boyfriend about what their plan is. How long do they want to serve for? Do they just want to do so for a few years? Is this going to be a 20-year commitment? When will they leave? Do they know that yet?

Knowing what your boyfriend wants will help you understand what his decision will mean for you. You will be able to plan your future. You will be able to start picturing yourself in his life after he joins. And you need to try to do that to decide if this life is right for you too.

Are you committed? 

This is a difficult question. You might love this man, but you might not want to commit to this life. This happens sometimes, and it isn’t even unique to military relationships. Sometimes a couple can’t make things work because life takes you in different directions.

As his girlfriend, you should take things slow. Are you committed to being in a long-distance relationship with him? Can you be supportive of his decision or will you give him grief about it along the way? If this is what he wants to do for the next 20 years, would you be able to handle life as a military spouse if your relationship later led to marriage?

Take the long road or not

Make sure you two talk about what the decision to join the military means for your relationship. Find out what your boyfriend wants and what he is expecting. Talk about how important it is for you two to stay together through this.

For some, the decision to join the military will be too much, for others joining the military will mean new adventures that they will be able to navigate. If you talk to any military spouse, you will find that almost every single one of them has worried about how they will handle this life. But in the end, they do, because they love and support the person they are married to.

As a girlfriend, you have more choices before you head down the military life road. If you truly don’t think you can commit to this person, don’t. Because really, that is what it comes down to. Can you commit to a deeper relationship with the person you are currently dating? Some people can; some people can’t.

With any relationship, there will be times when you have to compromise. Being with a service member means you will have to do that often. Can you handle that?

What advice would you give to someone whose boyfriend wants to join the military? 

10 Tips For a Military Spouse Getting Ready to Go Through This Holiday Season With a Deployed Spouse

by

It’s almost November, that means the holiday season is right around the corner. November brings colder weather, sweaters, hot chocolate, lighted fireplaces, and Thanksgiving. December brings Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, and snowy days.

This time of year is festive and made for families, but what happens when your spouse is deployed? What do you do when Thanksgiving this year is just you and your three-year-old, while your husband is serving overseas? How do you get excited about Christmas when you know the whole day you will be missing the love of your life? How do you get through the holidays when all you want to do is spend your first Christmas together, but you can’t because they are away on the other side of the world?

Here are ten tips for a military spouse getting ready to go through this holiday season with a deployed spouse:

1. Decorate like you normally would

Set up the tree, put out your decorations, and get your home looking like you usually do during this time of year. Just because your spouse is gone, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t decorate. You might even want to buy a few new decorations this season. Keeping your home festive will help with your mood, even if you are missing your spouse.

2. Focus on your daily work

Whether you work outside the home, work from home, or stay at home with the kids, focus on what you have to do each day. Don’t slack off on what you need to be doing. Focusing on your work will keep you busy and allow time to pass.

3. Plan to Facetime

Facetime or Skype as often as you can during this time of year. Even if you only chat for a few minutes. Seeing one another or getting excited about the holidays together can help your mood.

10 Tips For a Military Spouse Getting Ready to Go Through This Holiday Season With a Deployed Spouse

4. Send an amazing holiday package

Put together an amazing holiday care package for your spouse. Include some Christmas treats or anything you know they would love. You can fill a stocking, make baked goods, or just include some of their favorite items to help them celebrate the holidays, even when they are away from home.

5. Volunteer

If you can, spend time volunteering during this time of year. A lot of organizations are in need of helpers this time of year. You could volunteer at a soup kitchen, work to bring gifts to those who can’t afford them, or just be there to step in within your community. Giving back is a way to get the focus off of what you are missing and to help others.

6. Spend it with family

If you can, plan a trip back home. No, it will not be the same since your spouse is deployed but it can still be a fun holiday. Your kids can be around family and see what Christmas was like for your growing up.

10 Tips For a Military Spouse Getting Ready to Go Through This Holiday Season With a Deployed Spouse

7. Spend it with friends

If you can’t go home, find some friends in a similar boat as you are. Make plans to hang out during Thanksgiving or Christmas. You don’t have to spend all of Christmas day together but coming together on that day for a meal or even dessert can be good for all of you.

8. Open presents over Skype

If your spouse is deployed over Christmas or Hanukkah, you can film or Facetime/Skype while you are opening presents. This can be a way to bring in your deployed spouse to the day. One option is to set up your video camera to record the whole thing. This is nice when you have young children and your spouse still wants to see the joy of Christmas as they open their gifts.

9. Let the kids help

Let your kids help you decorate. Have them put the ornaments on the tree or come up with a different holiday theme. If you know they won’t want to eat a traditional meal, do something different. You can do whatever you want to have those special memories with your kids.

10. Celebrate early, or late

As military families, sometimes you will need to celebrate early or late. If they are going to deploy in November or December, celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas early. Do everything you would typically do, but on a different day. That way when the actual holiday rolls around you know that you were able to celebrate together anyway.

Remember, if they are gone this holiday season, they will probably be home the next. Try not to think they are missing a huge part of life. It might feel like they are at the moment, but in the grand scheme of things, it is simply one year.

You can still have a fantastic holiday season, even if you are missing them. What tips do you have for surviving the holiday season without your spouse?

Loneliness: The Military Spouse’s Companion

by Leave a Comment

So happy to have this guest post by Victoria on loneliness and what you can do about it during military life. Please email me at Julie@soldierswifecrazylife.com and let me know if you would like to write a guest post for Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life too.

Loneliness: The Military Spouse’s Companion

“I’m having trouble fitting in around here.”

“How can I make friends at this new base?”

I see these comments or variations on many military spouse websites. And, of course, the pandemic didn’t help the feeling of loneliness and isolation. If you are a MilSpo, you have felt this at one time or another. You’ve just moved to a new location. You haven’t had time to explore your new community or meet the neighbors, what with unpacking boxes and enrolling the kids in their new school, and getting them settled.

When we moved to Oklahoma in 2009, my adult daughter was concerned because we had been there for a few months, and I wasn’t talking about any new friends yet. I’m uber extroverted, so for me not to be relating stories about all the new friends I’d made by now was disconcerting for her.

The problem was that we only had one car, and we didn’t live on base, so it was harder for me to get around and meet people. I assured her I was okay, and I had a lunch date with a group of women the next day. Life was good, although I was more than ready to get my social life going.

I’m afraid my advice for counteracting loneliness might not sit well with introverts. However, it is necessary if you want to get the most out of your military assignment. 

Get Out: You have to get out of your house and introduce yourself to your neighbors—whether you live on base or post. People are busy, so the days when neighbors stopped by with a plate of cookies are rare, even though their intentions might be good. In Oklahoma, I made the cookies and took them to the neighbors to introduce myself.

Join In: Join, join, join anything that interests you: spouse clubs, chapel groups, the PTA at your children’s school. Anywhere you can find like-minded people. Spouse clubs usually have smaller clubs such as book clubs, Bunko, golf, bowling, Mahjong — just about anything you are interested in doing.

Volunteer: When you help out others, you are helping yourself as well. So many organizations on base can use your help, and I’ve made some of my closest friends through volunteering. Check with your Family Readiness Center for volunteer opportunities on your installation.

Do It: I can hear some of you already saying you are shy and have a tough time putting yourself out there. My response is to say, “too bad. Suck it up and do it anyway.” Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it is necessary to make an effort to find your niche if you want to get the most enjoyment out of your life as a MilSpo. And remember, the more you do it, the easier it gets!

Loneliness: The Military Spouse’s Companion

Victoria Terrinoni is the author of “Where You Go, I Will Go: Lessons From a Military Spouse,” available on Amazon. Her husband, Dave, retired in 2018 after 31 years in the Air Force. They live in central Illinois so that they can spoil two of their four grandchildren. She has a blog about her military life at https://victoriaterrinoni.wordpress.com

6 Things You Should Remember When You Are Struggling With Military Life

by 1 Comment

6 Things You Should Remember When You Are Struggling With Military Life

Sometimes, when my husband is gone, or even if he is home, the stress overwhelms me. I find myself in a place I don’t want to be in. There is too much going on, too much to think about, and my emotions are all over the place. I end up in a bit of a funk and feel like I am on the struggle bus.

But…

In those times, there are things I have to tell myself, things I have to remind myself of, and doing so puts me in a much better place. If you have ever felt like you are struggling with military life, you know what I am talking about.

You know that you can’t snap your fingers and have a deployment go away. You know you married a military service member and with that comes military life. But what you really want is to get to a better emotional place.

Here are six things to remember when you are struggling with military life:

Everything changes

No matter what you are going through, remember everything changes. Whether you are going through a deployment, waiting on a PCS, or just struggling through something, things will change, as they always do.

Change can be difficult, you might not want to move, you might not want the deployment to start, but change happens and we just have to go with it, knowing that eventually, things will get to a better place.

Some days I might be feeling down because I simply can’t make a decision on something important. I hate that. But I have to remind myself that time can make things a little more clear. And if it isn’t something I have to decide ASAP, I can give myself time to figure it out.

You have been through hard stuff before

Here’s the deal. You have been through hard stuff before. You have. Maybe you haven’t ever been through a deployment before, maybe this is the first time you have ever moved, but life in general can bring difficult situations, and you have been able to get through those in the past.

Maybe it was messy. Maybe you felt defeated. But you got through to the other side. Remember that.

You will grow through this

We always grow through our struggles, even if we can’t see that at the time. Journaling during your struggles can help, talking with a good trustworthy friend can help, and thinking about how you have changed for the better through it all can help.

And as you grow as a person, you can help others too. You might find yourself in a situation in the future where you can be there for someone going through what you are going through right now. We as humans can help one another out, simply because we have been there before.

Don’t take on other’s stress

One thing you don’t want to do is take on someone else’s stress. People do stress about all types of things and it can be easy to feel overwhelmed by all of that, epecually when you see it all the time on social media.

Try not to take on other people’s stress and focus on what you need to focus on. Think about what is best for you and your family. Don’t worry about things that don’t have to do with your current situation and you will be better for it.

Don’t forget to breathe

I know, easier said than done. But give yourself time to breathe. We say it is best to stay busy during a deployment, and it is. But if you are too busy, you could end up stressing yourself out even more.

Try to find that balance and give yourself a break. If you feel like you are doing too much, you migjt be. It’s okay to take a step back and breathe. You don’t have to say yes to everything. And if being too busy is the reason for your stress, take a step back to find some peace.

Count your blessings

Sometimes we really just have to take a step back and count our blessings. Living without your spouse for months at a time is not an easy thing to do. Having to say goodbye to friends and family all the time can be heartbreaking. Military life isn’t an easy life, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be thankful for the great things that are true about our lives.

Thinking about what we do have can help. Yes, your husband might be deployed for six months, but he does love and care about you and your kids. Yes, you do have to move again but now you have a new state to explore. Yes, military life brings on a lot of stress but you have meet some amazing people to walk through this life with.

There will probably come a time when you do struggle with military life. Things are not adding up the way you want them to. You are feeling frustrated because you can do what you are wanting to do.

And that’s hard.

But, if you are married to a service member, you can’t easily just walk away from military life, and so you need to figure out how to get through these feelings and get to a better place emotionally. And once you find ways to do that, military life will seem a little more manageable and you will feel like you can get through so much of what this life brings.

What do you do when you feel like you are struggling with military life???

To the Burned Out Military Spouse Mama

by

3:30 in the afternoon. That is when it hit me the most. My husband was deployed, I had a two-year-old, and a baby, and 3:30 pm was the worst.

We were pretty much done with our activities for the day, but 3:30 was too early to start dinner. What in the world do I do with these kids?

How will I make it to bedtime? Once I get through that, I knew I would have some time to myself, as long as I could stay awake long enough to enjoy that much needed time.

As I think back to our past deployments, these moments, the times when I was so burned out, I couldn’t imagine what else I could do. The times when I would burst into tears, when I cried with my kids, when I sobbed after they went to sleep because I just wanted a break.

So, to the burned out military spouse mama, these days can be a struggle. 

You want things to go smoothly, but then they don’t.

You want to be able to get everything done, but you can’t.

You are missing your spouse more than anything, and struggle to help your kids through the deployment as well.

Mama, you need to breathe. It’s going to be okay. It really is.

This is simply a season of your life, and this feeling will not last forever.

Whatever parenting struggle you are dealing with at the moment, whatever it is you are trying to work through, this too shall pass.

When your kids are young, you might struggle with sleeping, and teaching them to eat, and potty training.

And then as they get older, you are trying to figure out how to get out of the house on time, how to handle kids and friendships, and how to get them to do their homework.

You will have to deal with sibling rivalry, and kid’s sports, and watching them grow.

To the Burned Out Military Spouse Mama

And through it all, you will feel burned out, often when your spouse is deployed.

You will wonder when you can catch up, when things feel more at peace, when things will get easier.

So to the burned out military spouse mama, take each day as it comes.

Make lists, to help you stay organized.

Find friends, those you can depend on, and have fun with.

Give yourself a break; you never have to be the perfect mother, just one that loves your kids and wants the best for them.

If your spouse is deployed, and the burned out feeling lasts a little too long, see what you can change about your routine. See what you can add or take away from your life. Find fun ways to celebrate the days you have already gone through.

Remember that nothing does last forever.

Your child will eventually sleep through the night, giving you more energy, and time to yourself.

Your son will eventually learn to use the bathroom, and won’t go to kindergarten in diapers.

Your daughter will eventually not throw a fit when you serve her vegetables.

To the Burned Out Military Spouse Mama

As you raise your children, through each stage, you will get frustrated, you will be burned out, and you will figure out a way through.

Special needs mamas can have different struggles. As one myself, I know that my 11-year-old isn’t doing all the things that an 11-year old should. This can be so overwhelming sometimes.

But even with him, I see change, I see growth, and even though it often feels like two steps forward, one step back, we are improving.

So to the burned out military spouse mama, you got this.

Maybe it doesn’t feel like it today, maybe it feels like you will feel this way for a long time, but you got this.

Whatever the struggle, whatever you are dealing with, you got this.

No matter how long you will be solo parenting, no matter how difficult your kids might be at the moment, you got this.

To the Burned Out Military Spouse Mama

Being Content When The Military Moves You Far From Home

by

I moved out of my parent’s home and away from my hometown when I was 18. I couldn’t wait to explore and live somewhere else. I couldn’t wait for that independence. I was so ready and left when I had the chance to go.

When I did that, I didn’t know how far that independence would take me. When I was 26, we moved from Northern California to Kentucky, even further away. When my husband joined the Army, we moved to Germany, an ocean away. We came back to Tennessee and have been here ever since, and where we live now is exactly 1,985.9 miles away from “home.”

There is a part of me that yearns to be back. To be able to live where I used to live, to be able to do the things I used to do on a regular basis (like go to Disneyland once a week,) and to live the life I used to have.

Being Content When The Military Moves You Far From Home

But here is the thing…

Time has moved on, not just for me, but for my hometown. Maybe this isn’t true for everyone, but where I grew up is so different in 2022 than when I left in 1997. There is a lot more traffic, and less rain, and Disneyland is way more expensive.

I once had a pastor tell me something that still sticks with me to this day. I told him about our church back in California and how special that place was. How I wanted to find something like that again.

He told me that while that was amazing, if we left right then and returned, the church would be a different place. That it is easy to assume everyone from our past is frozen in time, but that isn’t true. People have changed, places have changed, and going back wouldn’t be like stepping right back in right after we left.

So if I were to pack up my family and head back to Southern California, things would be different. And maybe part of that is that I have changed. I am used to life in other places, not so much the life of someone in Southern California. This hit me hard on one of my most recent visits.

And it isn’t like I couldn’t adjust to life there again, I am sure I could. I am sure that over time, things would be okay. But remembering that I can never go back to 1997 and how things were back then is a comfort to me in a place so far from home.

As military spouses, many of you don’t live near where you grew up.

Some of you might just be a few hours away, others, across the ocean. You could be the type of person who couldn’t wait to leave, or maybe you never thought you would until you married your soldier and you had to go. Living away from home can be difficult, even for those of us who couldn’t wait to move away.

You miss things. You miss birthdays, weddings, and other events that make you sad to think about. You become the people that other people used to know. You become a part of their history and are no longer a part of their present. And that can be hard to take.

Homesickness can be real. You can feel like you gave up everything and for what? You might wonder if the time away is worth it. If spreading your wings a bit was worth it the homesickness.

How can you be content when the military moves you far from home?

Here are some ideas:

Embrace your independence

When you leave home, you become more independent just by doing so. There is now a lot more distance between you and your family, between you and what you are used to, between you and your comfort zone. You have to do things you didn’t think you would have to do, and you will grow stronger for it.

Embrace this independence that comes from being far from home. Take a look back at what you have done on your own. Look ahead to the future and on what you can accomplish based on these skills you have learned.

Explore your new home

Get out there and see what your current area has to offer. It might be totally different than what you are used to, but that’s okay. This will force you out of your comfort zone, but that can be a good thing.

Look up bucket lists for your new duty station, talk to your neighbors, and look for what other people do in their free time. Getting involved in your new community will help you find contentment there and lessen the effects of homesickness.

Visit

Yes, you moved away. But that doesn’t mean you can’t ever visit. Now, how often you visit is going to depend on many different factors. You might not be able to afford to do so too often, or maybe you can go home for every holiday. Find a good balance and what will work for you and your family.

If you live close enough, it might be possible to go home every weekend. This might not be the best idea if you want to dive into your new community. Give yourself some time to be where you now live, and not just escape home whenever you get the chance. If you can figure out a new home that is just a few hours from where you are from, those skills will help you when you move farther away.

Invite

Invite your family and maybe even friends to visit your new home. Show them around, show them your new life. Let them see what you are experiencing. Your friends and family want to know you are in a good place and showing them that place firsthand can be a wonderful thing.

When the military moves you far away from home, it can be so hard to figure out how to be content. There is a lot to miss about home, and for many, it can feel like your new duty station will never feel that way. Give yourself some time, get out of your comfort zone, and look for the good in your new place.

Where was the first place you lived after moving away from home?

To The Military Spouse Who Needs To Know They Are Not The Only Ones

by

One of the best things about the military spouse community is to be able to meet other spouses and know that you are not alone. To know that you are not the only person who is going through what you are going through. To know that you have people to share with, people who get it, and people who understand is such an amazing feeling.

Military spouse, you are not the only one who misses their husband or wife, even when they are gone for a shorter period. You know that down the road, they will be gone longer, but for now, a week or two apart feels like a little too much. You are not the only one who feels this way, so many of us miss our spouses even if they are gone for one day.

Military spouse, you are not the only one who feels broken during a deployment. Who feels like your life has changed so much and that things will never be the same again. You are not the only one who has to ask for extra help from family, friends, or even professionals to get through.

Military spouse, you are not the only one that is hating the thought of moving to your new duty station. 

You are not the only one that has thought about how you can stay, even as your spouse has to go. You are not the only one who has shed tears over the move or who wonders why things worked out the way they did for you to have to go there.

Military spouse, you are not the only one that has struggled with their faith simply because of the emotions that a deployment can bring. You are not the only one who wonders if God even answers your prayers because it doesn’t always feel like it. You are not the only one who has figured out a different path to be on, because of everything you have been through.

Military spouse, you are not the only one solo parenting that has hit a wall during deployment and felt like you want to send your children over to Afghanistan in a care package. You are not the only one that is planning a getaway just for you after your husband returns home. You are not the only one who wonders how in the world you will make it to that finish line with these kids and everything that needs to get done.

To The Military Spouse Who Needs To Know They Are Not The Only Ones

Military spouse, you are not the only one who can be annoyed with their spouse one minute and wish that they never had to leave the next.

You are not the only one who can’t wait for them to deploy only because you are tired of all the pre-deployment stress and fighting. You are not the only one who wishes you could talk to them whenever you want to and then not sure what to talk about when they do start calling you every day.

Military spouse, you are not the only one who has mixed feelings about homecoming. You are not the only one who worries about your marriage after so many months apart. You are not the only one who remembers how things were before they left and wonder if they will get any better now that the deployment is over.

Military spouse, you are not the only one who is worried about money. You are not the only one who debates on if you should get a better job, or if you should even be staying home with your children. You are not the only one who feels like you have made money mistakes in the past and pray you won’t make them in the future.

Military spouse, you are not the only one struggling with a mental illness.

You are not the only one dealing with anxiety that becomes even worse when your spouse has to be away. You are not the only one dealing with depression, wondering if you should go on meds or not, and working hard to get through what you need to do each day.

You see, sometimes we can misunderstand people, especially in our social media world. We can assume that everyone else is not going through what we are. We can assume that everyone else has figured it out.

People tend to only post the positives or the good things on social media. They don’t talk too much about their struggles. They don’t share the whole journey, just the result.

To The Military Spouse Who Needs To Know They Are Not The Only Ones

As a military spouse, not everything is going to work out the way that you want things to work out.

There will be frustrations and annoyances. There will be times when you want to throw in the towel and walk away. But there will also be times when you look at your spouse and know they are doing what they are supposed to be doing. That you will meet people or experience things that make your heart so very happy. That you will see the big picture and realize that you can get through this life, the best way you know how.

As you connect with other spouses, either in person or online, don’t be afraid to share your struggles. Work together to get through them and figure out solutions. Remember, there is no such thing as the perfect military spouse. There are only spouses that do their best every day to get done what they need to get done and be there to support their spouse.

So to the military spouse that needs to know they are not the only one, find people who get it. Find others who understand. If you are surrounded by people who don’t understand your life, you are only going to get frustrated. Get out there at your military installation, or find a good military spouse Facebook group online. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, and take chances. If you can do this, your military life will become a bit easier, and you will see that you are indeed not alone in your journey.

To The Military Spouse Who Needs To Know They Are Not The Only Ones