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How to Break Out of a Boring Military Spouse Routine

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How to Break Out of a Boring Military Spouse Routine

How to Break Out of a Boring Military Spouse Routine

Sometimes military life is pretty exciting! You are days away from a PCS to a great location. Your husband just got home from his deployment. You have great friends and are able to keep busy and life is great. Other times, you are going to feel like your life is just one big groundhog’s day. You do the same things over and over again. This is especially true during a deployment and even more so when you have small children who are not in school yet. The days just come and go and you can get a little bored doing the same things every single day.

So what can you do about that? How can you break out of your boring military spouse routine?

1. Visit a new club/meeting

Find a new club or regular meeting to go to. Have kids? Go to MOPS. Love to read? Go to that book club you heard about. There should be something you can go to where you could meet new people and enjoy yourself. See what your local Facebook pages have to offer. Look for events going on in your community. Get yourself out there and make plans to change what you do during the week.

2. Start going on a daily run or walk

Make plans to go on a daily walk or run. This will break up your day and will keep you healthier. If you don’t want to run or walk, go to the gym or for a swim. Working on your fitness is a great way to change things up. If you want to lose weight and do so, you could buy a few new items for your wardrobe. Donate your older clothes and start fresh.

3. Join a play group

If you have kids, join a play group. If you don’t like the one you are in, join a different one. Keep taking your kids if they are having fun. You will get to meet other moms and you will have something to keep you busy during the week. If you feel each day is just another chore of getting through the day with your kids, a play group can really help with getting out of that dull routine.

4. Apply for a job

If you are really bored with life, it could be time to find a new job. Update your resume and start looking. Figure out what you want to do and how many hours you would like to work. Even working a few hours a week can help with your mood. See what works for you and start applying. Having a job is also a great way to meet new people when you pcs. You can also look for volunteer opportunities in your local community.

5. Go back to school

Did you start a college program and wanted to go back? Maybe now is the time to do so. Look up online colleges as well as what your local colleges might offer. You can take one class or sign up for a full-time schedule. Look into scholarships for a military spouse as well as looking into using your spouse’s GI Bill. There are a lot of options for paying for school. If you don’t know what you want to study, that is okay, you can take some general ed classes until you are able to figure that out.

6. Go on a trip

Take a trip somewhere. Maybe you can just go camping for a weekend? Maybe you want to finally plan that Disneyworld trip? Figure out what you can do and make some plans. You might need to take time off work or plan to board the dog but make the trip happen. Taking yourself out of where you are can help break you out of a boring routine.

7. Visit home

Taking a trip home can be very refreshing. You can spend time with your family, go out with friends and just relax a bit away from your everyday life. Depending on where you live, your home might be a bit warmer than where you are stationed and getting a break from cold winter weather can be good for your soul. If you can’t visit home, see if someone can visit you and you can enjoy your time together as you show them your world.

No one needs to stay in a rut. If you feel like you are in one, there is a lot you can do to add more to your daily life. You should also keep in mind that deployments do not last forever, that duty stations do no last forever and that you can wake up every day ready to make some changes so that your life can be a little more like the way you want your life to be.

What do you do to get out of a boring military spouse routine?

10 TV Shows You Should Binge Watch During Deployment

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10 TV Shows You Should Binge Watch During Deployment10 TV Shows You Should Binge Watch During Deployment

During deployments or even during drill weekends I have found that binge-watching a television show can really make things a lot easier. I can get lost in the show, lost in the characters and that can take away those lonely nights missing my husband. Focusing on something else always works and watching a good tv show is a great way to do it.

With Netflix, Hulu and Amazon, binge watching couldn’t be easier. Back during our 2007 deployment I either had to get DVDs from the library or watch shows on YouTube, 10 minutes at a time. Not ideal I know. I much prefer Netflix these days.

So…if you want to get lost in a story, check out these binge-worthy television shows:

One Tree Hill

One Tree Hill is about a fictional town in North Carolina. It’s the story of two brothers, both raised in very different families and small town life. Basically, normal teenagers, trying to figure out life, love, and relationships. This show has 9 seasons and a lot of fans like to rewatch over and over again.

Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl takes place in New York City and is narrated by the “Gossip Girl.” Another show about teenagers but this time they are from the Upper East Side. They have money, a lot of money and all the problems that go with money. Gossip Girl has 6 seasons and will keep you guessing about who the “Gossip Girl” is the whole time.

Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls is a fun show about a mother and daughter living in a small town in Connecticut. This is a quirky show with a ton of fun supporting characters. There are 7 seasons and Netflix just came out with Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life that you must watch once you finish with the regular seasons.

The West Wing

I am a HUGE fan of The West Wing. This show is all about President Bartlet and his staff. They take on real issues and each character has their own situations they are going through. I have already watched this show twice and would love to start a third round. There are 7 seasons.

Vampire Diaries

Vampire Diaries is an exciting show about a town in Virginia, Mystic Falls with Vampires and other supernatural creatures. Elena is a regular old high school student who loses her parents in a car crash. Then she meets Stefen and Damon, vampire brothers. And everything changes. There are 8 seasons and a spin-off, the Originals.

Pretty Little Liars

Pretty Little Liars takes place in Rosewood, Pennsylvania. Four friends try to figure out what to do after their friend Alison is allegedly murdered. This show will keep you hooked because you just want to find out what is going on. There are 7 seasons of PLL.

Once Upon a Time

Once Upon a Time takes place in the fictional seaside town of Storybrooke, Maine. But who lives in this town? All your favorite fairytale characters, only they are under a spell and don’t remember where they came from. Emma, a bail bonds person comes to the town and learns she is the only one who can save it. This show has 6 seasons and is still going on with new characters added all the time.

Grey’s Anatomy

If you are looking for a mix of medicine and drama, Grey’s Anatomy is going to be your show. This show is on season 13 with more to come. Meredith Grey is the main character and as the show starts she is starting the residency program at Seattle Grace Hospital. You might think that it isn’t possible for one hospital to have this much drama but you don’t care because the show is keeping you entertained.

Doctor Who

If you love science fiction, time travel, British tv, you will probably like Doctor Who. I will fully admit this show is not for everyone but those that watch and fall in love with it can’t get enough. This show could be your deployment show as there are a ton of episodes to watch. You can go all the way back and watch some of the original show but I suggest starting with the newer episodes. There are 9 seasons of that, the 10th should start sometime in the near future.

The Office

The Office is such a great show to binge watch. This show is a Mockumentary about an office in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Some of these characters will drive you nuts, others will make you roll your eyes but you won’t be able to get enough of this silly show. There are 9 seasons to enjoy.

 

What shows do you love to watch during a deployment?

 

 

What Military Spouses Are Hoping for in 2017

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What Military Spouses Are Hoping for in 2017What Military Spouses Are Hoping for in 2017

2017! That year feels like the future but 2017 is less than a week away. Are you ready? I think I am. 2016 has been quite the year for our country. A lot of things have happened and there will be a lot of changes in 2017.

At the end of every year, thinking about what you as a person has accomplished can be a good idea. You can look back at your year, remember what worked, what didn’t. Look at how you did on your goals and resolutions and think ahead about what you want your new year to look like.

As military spouses, we could be up against some pretty big challenges in the new year. We might not even know what the new year will bring. We could be hoping for PCS orders out of a duty station we are ready to leave or we could be waiting to hear the news that our spouse is coming home from their long deployment.

As the military spouse community looks ahead, we are hoping that 2017 is a great year and this is what we are hoping for…

For Good Communication

Good communication is so important. Whether we are talking about communicating with our spouses during a deployment or we are talking about communicating with them at home, after they return. Being able to talk to our spouse is a big deal. If we can’t do that, the relationship will suffer. Sometimes it can be hard to get back to talking again after time apart. Do what you can to work on this part of your relationship in the new year.

For Short Deployments

Deployments are all a part of military life. For a lot of us spouses, we know they are going to happen. But do they have to be so long? Maybe 2017 will bring another deployment but we can hope that that deployment is not quite as long as the previous one. And that our spouses get to be home with us a little more in the new year. Some military spouses haven’t been through a deployment in a while and see one on the horizon. This can be scary too. Having your spouse home for a long period of time is a treat, and getting ready for a deployment after that can be a bit challenging. Try to figure out how you are going to get through that deployment and know that you are not alone in what you are feeling about the upcoming deployment.

For PCS Orders

For those who have been living in the same place for a while, you might be hoping for PCS orders. Those orders that officially let you know it is time to go and move to a new duty station. May you get those orders quickly and that they will not change after you have invested in a wardrobe based on the climate of your new duty station.

To Make New Friends

Making new friends isn’t always easy. Whether you just PCSd somewhere new or your friends from 2016 are getting ready for a move. Try to put yourself out there, go to meetings and go to events. Do what you can to be a good friend and see what happens. Remember, sometimes making new friends can take a long time.

To Be More Patient

Military life is all about patience and I think we could all use a bit more. Whether you are waiting on orders or something else, the more patience you have, the easier the waiting is going to be. How to get more patience? That I don’t really know, but patience is something all of us wish we had more of.

To Futher Our Personal Goals

I don’t care who you are, you have your own personal goals, whether you talk about them or not. Your goals might be to declutter that closet you keep ignoring or to update your resume and start applying for jobs. Make lists. Figure out how you will get to your goals. Adjust and get creative. The new year is a good time for this.

To Read More

So many military spouses want to read more. So make time for that. Start listening to audio books while you clean, join a book club and carve out 30 minutes before bed to read. There are so many great books out there and getting lost in a book is a good way to deal with a bad deployment day.

To Be Healthy

New year, new weight loss goals? I know I have them. I want to eat better, lose weight and become a healthier person overall. Think about what your goals are and how you will achieve them. You can start going on a daily walk, you can join a gym or learn new recipes to help you eat a bit healthier overall.

 

With 2017 just days away, what are you hoping for? What would make 2017 a great year for you?

8 Things You Won’t Have To Do If Your Spouse Is Deployed

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8 Things You Won't Have To Do If Your Spouse Is Deployed

8 Things You Won’t Have To Do If Your Spouse Is Deployed

Deployments are no fun, any military spouse can tell you that. However, when they happen, which they usually do, there are things you simply won’t have to do because your spouse is gone. I am not going to say these are benefits, but if on a bad deployment day you are feeling pretty lonely, take a look and remember what you don’t have to do because your spouse is deployed.

1. Share the TV- How many times are you dying to catch up on Grey’s but you can’t because your husband wants to watch something else? Well, during a deployment you don’t have to worry about that. You can watch all of your shows, even the ones he makes fun of. Binge-watching can be very therapeutic during a deployment as well.

2. Shave- If your husband is deployed, you don’t have to shave. Well maybe you should shave sometimes but you don’t have to do this chore as often and no one will ever know. Unless it is summertime, then you probably do want to shave.

3. Share the bed- As much as I miss my husband when he is gone, I love having the bed to myself. Maybe I would feel differently if we didn’t have a queen bed but I like having all that space. Of course, at night, when the house is quiet and he is gone, I would rather him be there. But if he has to be deployed, I am going to enjoy having that extra space each night.

4. Clean dirty uniforms- Between the uniforms and his regular clothes, when your spouse deploys you are going to have a lot less laundry to do. This will free up some time from your schedule. You won’t have to wash those dirty uniforms straight from the field. No sand in your washing machine. That might be a nice break.

5. Cook what you don’t like- Cooking will change for you when he deploys. Depending on your children and how old they are, you might be able to get away with not cooking much at all. And you won’t have to cook anything you don’t like. You can also cook what you do like that he might not. My husband is not a big fan of breakfast for dinner so I tend to make that when he is gone. The kids love it!

6. Spend as much on food- Speaking of food, your grocery budget can go down a bit once they are deployment. You also might be able to go longer between shopping trips. See how much food you need to buy each week and go from there. You don’t want to buy too much and end up with some of your food going bad.

7. Share a bathroom- Your bathroom is all for you. No more mess from anyone other than you, unless you let your children use it. But being the only person who uses your bathroom will make the room a bit of a relaxing space for you. Buy some candles and bubble bath and make your bathroom your retreat.

8. Wake up too early- When you have small children you never get to sleep in. When your husband is in the Army and has to wake up for PT, you never get to sleep in. When they are deployed, you might actually be able to catch some extra zzzs without your spouse waking you up trying to find his PT gear.

Are you going through a deployment right now? What haven’t you had to do since your spouse has been gone?

For the Military Spouse Who Can’t Go Home For Christmas

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For the Military Spouse Who Can't Go Home For ChristmasFor the Military Spouse Who Can’t Go Home For Christmas

When I was in college, I went home every Christmas break. I loved that. A break from the college routine, a time to see my family and friends from high school. A time to be a “kid” again, if only for a few weeks. I can still remember going back to my apartment after my last final, finishing packing and getting ready to head to the airport.

When we first got married we decided that we would switch off each holiday. So one year we would spend Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his. Then the next year we would switch. This worked well for 3 years. Then we moved and my husband joined the Army and that schedule went out the window.

The truth is, military families have a harder time going home for the holidays.

Going home is going to be easier if you live close enough to drive. You might even be able to go for just the weekend. If you are overseas or across the country from home, getting there for Christmas is going to be a bit more difficult. Christmas block leave is a great thing but not everyone gets to take it. And even when you do, you might not be able to afford to fly the whole family back home.

There are a lot of reasons why military families can’t go home for Christmas.

Maybe you just got married, going home just isn’t an option and this will be your first year away from home for the holidays. Maybe your husband is deployed and with three small children, flying across the country alone just isn’t something you can do. Maybe you don’t even have a good family situation to go visit this year or maybe finances are tight and you need to save for your upcoming PCS in the new year.

Maybe you have fond memories of previous years or your own childhood. Of setting up the tree together, of going Christmas caroling with your childhood church, of baking cookies with Grandma and of having a night out with your best high school friends who you haven’t seen in a while. If you can’t go home, even if it is your choice, you can start to feel sad about all that you are missing. And there really can be a lot to miss. To not be there when everyone else in your family is coming together can be hard to deal with.

If you can’t go home for Christmas, you should do what you can to make the holiday special anyway, with your own little family.

Think up new traditions that your kids would love. Are you overseas? Try to incorporate some of the traditions from the country you are in. Take them back with you when you move back to the US. If you know other families that are staying around for the holidays, make plans to get together with them. Embrace not having to travel during the busiest travel days of the year. Think about how your children will have memories of waking up in their own beds on Christmas morning. See if anyone will come and visit you during the holidays instead. Sometimes it is easier for one or two family members to come out to see you instead of all of you going to see them.

So for the military spouse that can’t go home for Christmas…

Make your holidays a special one, even if you are not where you want to be. Make sure to call your mom on Christmas day, think about the new year and enjoy the quietest and more simple Christmas that you are having in your own home. You can’t always go home for Christmas and that is okay. You can still have a special Christmas filled with happy memories and moments with your own family and local community.

Do you usually go home for Christmas?

4 Steps To Turn A Bad Deployment Day Around

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4 Steps To Turn A Bad Deployment Day Around4 Steps To Turn A Bad Deployment Day Around

No matter how long your deployment is or how many deployments you have gone through, you will have good deployment days and bad deployment days. Usually, the first few weeks are going to be the most difficult and then the last month will crawl by. But in between the beginning and the end of the deployment, you will have days where you feel like you are rocking military spouse life and days where you feel like you can’t make it through another deployment day.

So what should you do if you are going through a bad deployment day? How can you make that day better and turn things around? Here are 4 steps that can turn a bad deployment day around and make the deployment a little more bearable.

1. Cry it out. Stop what you are doing, find your bed, your couch or wherever you feel comfortable and have a good cry. Let everything out. Take a moment to do this. Your body might need this release. If you don’t want to cry in front of your kids, go into your bedroom and shut the door. If you have to wait until bedtime, do so. There have been many nights where I kept things together during the day and then after bedtime, I was able to let go and work on feeling better about my day. I tend to be a more emotional person and crying is how I deal with stress and disappointment. Others might not need to cry but simply spend some time by themselves and that can be just as helpful.

2. Journal. After you cry everything out, get out your journal and start writing. Write about what is bothering you. Write about your day. Write about your hopes and dreams for the future. Just start writing. Doing so will be a way to get your thoughts out and start to feel better. You could also write a letter to your spouse. This can also be helpful and sometimes the bad day comes because of lack of communication with your spouse. If you have a place to tell your spouse about your day and what is going on, you could get out of your funk and start to feel better. If you have never written in a journal before, now is the time to start. Go buy yourself a cute journal and some pens and create a place to write during the deployment.

3. Make Plans. After you cry it out and journal, make plans for the next day, week or month. Fill up your calendar. Make plans for the very next day even if they are simple. There are a lot of things you can do to stay busy during a deployment. If you don’t know what else to do, put your kids in the stroller and go for a walk, take yourself out to dinner or do something different from what you normally do. Staying busy will help you get through this deployment and that starts with making plans and putting things down on your calendar.

4. Go to bed. After you have done what you can to turn things around, just go to bed. Sometimes the morning is all you need to feel better. You can leave that bad day behind and wake up to a new one. One that is one day closer to homecoming and one that can be a lot better than the previous day.

Some days are going to be easier to turn around than others. If you feel like you are just not doing well with the deployment, don’t feel bad about getting some extra help. Sometimes going to see a counselor can be just what you need to get through. I had to do this during our 4th deployment and going to see her was so helpful. Never be afraid to get any help that you might need. Deployments can be emotionally and mentally challenging for us spouses too.

What do you do to turn around a bad deployment day?

 

What You Need To Let Go Of As A Military Spouse

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What You Need To Let Go Of As A Military Spouse

Do you ever feel like you are trying too hard to become that perfect military spouse? That you feel like you must do all the military spouse things? I have felt that pressure over the years. The pressure to be the best military spouse, to get everything done and to do it all with grace, all of the time. The truth is, this pressure isn’t healthy. There is only so much each of us can do. For our spouses, for our kids, for our homes, and for our communities.

What You Need To Let Go Of As A Military Spouse

I have learned over the years that letting go of certain expectations is a good way to find more peace as a military spouse. Knowing that there are seasons in my life where I can do more and seasons where I need to pull back and do less. Finding that balance is important.

So what as a military spouse should you let go of? What is not quite as important as you once thought it was?

Doing it all- You can’t do it all. Don’t feel bad if you tried and couldn’t make everything work. Balancing your own career with a spouse in the military is hard. Being both mom and dad for periods of time is hard. Keeping the house clean when you are running around different places on a daily basis is hard. Give yourself a break. Make lists of what you do each day and prioritize. Do what is most important and be okay saying no to everything else.

Going to every event- As a military spouse, there will be a lot of events you will be invited to. Don’t feel like you have to attend each and every one. If you want to sit one of them out, that’s okay. Your weekend is only so long. Schedule some time in for yourself and try to only say yes to the events you are most excited about. Fill up your calendar to stay busy but don’t overfill your days. That just adds more stress.

Feeling guilty about not going home- Going home to see family isn’t always the easiest thing to do. Sometimes doing so cost too much, other times schedules do no work out the way you need them too. Don’t feel guilty about this. Some families will try to make you feel guilty, don’t let them. Try to go home when you can and when details work out to do so. Families stationed overseas might not be able to go home the entire time they are over there. See if your family can come visit you. Sometimes that is easier, cheaper and will still allow you to spend time together.

Not cooking every night- Cooking when you have small children and no spouse coming home at night can be difficult. Cereal nights are okay. Pizza nights are okay. And if you do cook, you can always save some for leftovers for another night. The truth is, for every night you feel like you just want to order a pizza you will have other nights where you do want to cook. Using a crockpot can also save you some time when it comes to making a good and easy meal for your family.

Never shedding a tear– Crying happens and that’s okay. Whether you only shed a few tears or need to have a deep cry into your pillow. Crying is a release and sometimes having a good cry is the best way to get stress out and to figure out how you will get over whatever disappointment you are feeling. Some people cry more than others. Some spouses are more emotional than others. Sometimes all you need is to have a good cry so you can get back to doing what you need to get done.

Not asking for help when you need it- I admit I am really bad about asking for help. I never want to burden anyone with my own troubles. But sometimes asking for help is the best thing you can do. Friends are often willing to help you and would love to hear ways to do so. Sometimes people who want to help don’t know what you need. In return, you can help out your friends and neighbors when they need something too. That is what community is for.

If you are feeling too much pressure right now, take some time to step back and see what you can do to make life a little bit easier for you and your family.

Is there anything you can give up? Is there something you can let go of?

35 Things Military Spouses Are Thankful For

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35 Things Military Spouses Are Thankful For35 Things Military Spouses Are Thankful For

Every Thanksgiving you probably get asked what you are thankful for. For some families, this is a tradition where you go around the table and say what that is before you get to eat. A lot of answers are God, family, husband, kids, job, etc. All of those are great answers but let’s go further than that. What are military spouses thankful for? Sometimes it is the little things that matter the most.

  1. DONSAs- When our spouse gets a 4 day weekend. Yay!
  2. Short deployments- All deployments are hard, shorter deployments end sooner.
  3. Trips back home- Time to see our family and friends!
  4. Free events on post- Because free fun is good fun.
  5. Good friends- Ones we can count on.
  6. Good neighbors- They make our own home that much better.
  7. Husbands who only work 12 hour days- Because in the military, days could be even longer than that.
  8. Magical moments- Like that time you were able to take your kids to see a real life castle.
  9. Homecoming day- Because it is the best day ever!
  10. Block Leave- The wonderful time when your spouse is all ours for weeks at a time.
  11. R&R-The most romantic time during your marriage and a break from a long deployment.
  12. Promotions- Because it is nice to see your spouse move up in his career.
  13. Good FRGs- Yes, they are out there.
  14. Nice housing- Because you want to love where you live.
  15. Long phone calls- Because they don’t always happen.
  16. Homecoming date- That hopefully won’t change.
  17. A new journal- The best way to get all of your stress and worry out.
  18. A new book- One you have been waiting for to come out for months.
  19. A canceled deployment- When you think they might be gone and then they don’t have to be.
  20. Re-enlistment bonus- Pay off some debt and buy a new car.
  21. Military discounts- So you can take your kids somewhere you might not have been able to.
  22. PCS orders- You know you have been waiting for those forever.
  23. End of Drill weekend- My Guard/Reserve spouses know how great that is!
  24. When things don’t break during deployments- Because you know they are supposed to.
  25. Our man in uniform- Need I say more?
  26. Seeing old friends again- Isn’t it great when an old friend gets stationed where you now are?
  27. Getting an appointment in a timely manner- You might just have a love/hate relationship with Tricare.
  28. Going to a ball- You thought dances would end with your prom.
  29. Meeting someone famous- Because famous people like military installations.
  30. Knowing people are praying for you. Because you need all the prayers you can get.
  31. Forming a friendship bond that will last forever. Because of what you have been through together.
  32. Friendsgiving- For when your spouse is away or when you just can’t go home for the holidays.
  33. Free childcare- A lifesaver!
  34. Christmas leave- Two weeks off from military life, doesn’t happen all the time but I will take it.
  35. Knowing we are a part of an amazing community– Priceless!

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving???