Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

7 Ways to Celebrate Fall, in GIFs

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7 Ways to Celebrate Fall, in GIFs

Fall is just about here, although at this moment it is 96 degrees outside. Tennessee is being ridiculous this year and summer doesn’t want to go home. At the same time, leaves have started to fall, and you can tell the season is about to change.

Fall is my favorite season, even more so now that we live somewhere with four seasons. I love how the weather changes, and how colorful the leaves are in the fall. The start of autumn takes me out of summer and leads to me a cooler time of year, filled with the holidays, cozy nights, and warm drinks.

Looking for ways how to celebrate fall? Here are 7 of them, in GIFs:

Go to a pumpkin patch…take your kids, take your camera, enjoy the time on the farm and come home with a pumpkin for each of you 🙂

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Admire the leaves…check out all the colors, take a lot of photos, and share with your friends and family that don’t get to experience their amazingness where they live.

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Decorate your home…grab your fall decor, buy a few new items, and get going. Your house will feel like the season is here, even if it is still pretty hot outside (Tennessee, I am looking at you.)

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Bake! Bake! Bake! From Halloween cookies to apple pie, it’s time to bake all the yummy treats. Try a new pumpkin cookie recipe and frost some ghost cookies with your kids.

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Order that pumpkin latte! You know you want to. You know you can’t wait to have the first one of the season. Look, I am not a huge fan of the pumpkin latte but I always enjoy having at least one, to start off the fall season. Plus, this year, the pumpkin cold brew at Starbucks is actually pretty yummy!

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Carve a pumpkin with your kids, if you don’t mind the mess. Or, you can skip the carving and paint your pumpkins, which can be just as fun. Unless you want to roast your own pumpkin seeds. Then you will need to carve them.

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Light some pumpkin candles…or get your pumpkin-scented Scentsy or both! It’s the time of year for all the fall scents. They are the best, from applies to pumpkin to fall nights!

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Hopefully, by the time you read this, it feels like fall where you live too. I am hoping we get our fall weather any day now. So I can break out my sweaters and put my shorts back into my closet 🙂

What is your favorite part of fall???

What To Look For In A Military Spouse BFF

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What To Look For In A Military Spouse BFF

As a new Army wife, I didn’t know a whole lot about the military lifestyle. Sure, I knew the basics, but standing at our first duty station in Schweinfurt, Germany, I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. I can remember standing there, watching a group of soldiers going by, and knowing everything had changed for us.

I was lucky though. Within those first months of being an Army wife in Germany, I found friends. I found other spouses who not only knew what military life was like but going through the same thing I was. We were all getting ready for a deployment, the first deployment for many of us, and we knew we could do it together.

I honestly am not sure what I would have done or how I could have gotten through that deployment without my military spouse friends. Although things were not always perfect, and there was drama, of course, there was drama, having people to go through a deployment with helped us all make it through what would turn out to be one of the longest deployments.

Over the years, I have made friends at every step of the way. From my best friend in Germany to my current circle here at Fort Campbell. From military spouse bloggers to some of the amazing people I have met through blogging and social media in all parts of the world.

I know for me, finding friends is the easy part. Finding best friends is not.

Finding best friends takes a lot of work, and yet you can’t force that. You can’t exactly walk up to someone and claim them as your best friend, can you? Best friends just happen sometimes, and even if you like someone else, they might not be the person to fit that role.

So what qualities make up a Military best friend? How do you know they are the one to fit that part of your life?

Here are a few things to think about when you are out there, making new friends: 

That you click

As I look back over my closest friendships, they all have one thing in common. We clicked. Sometimes we click right away. We met, and before we knew it, we were making plans like we had known each other forever.

In other cases, clicking took more time. There isn’t one set way to click with someone else, but once you do, you will know that there is a special friendship forming and that is a good thing.

That your kids get along

It’s hard to find a friend with kids sometimes. Your kids might not get along. You might not get along with their kids. They might not mesh well.

I don’t think all of your friend’s kids have to click with your kids but for a Military spouse BFF, it is an excellent thing to have. You will be spending a lot of time together without your spouses around. You can have sleepovers and go on trips together.

As your kids get older, I think there is more room for friendships that do not involve them, but when your kids are young and tend to always be with you, you tend to come as a full package. A good best friend will be loving towards you and your children.

That you can vent to them

If you have ever been through a deployment, you know that some days you just have to vent. If you can’t do that with someone, it is going to be hard for them to be your buddy during the deployment. You need someone who you can vent to, and that isn’t going to come back with a “suck it up and don’t talk to me about that anymore” type of attitude.

While no one likes it when all someone does is complain about their lives, we all need a safe place to go to let off steam. Whether we are annoyed that our husband can’t seem to put his laundry in the laundry basket or are upset that he is once again going to miss something important, finding friends who let us vent during military life is a good thing.

That you can depend on them

I have a very hard time asking for help, even when I need that help. I want to try to get everything done myself if possible. However, sometimes things happen, and I have to call someone to help me.

Having a best friend to call to help you out and not have it become an awkward situation is a good thing. Whether it is because your child needs to go to the ER, your car breaks down, or you need emergency babysitting help. Knowing you won’t be totally alone when that happens can take a lot of the worry out of a situation.

That you can trust them

The military, especially at the branch level, is a small small world. You will find this to be true when you have been a military spouse for a few years. Your neighbor at Fort Bliss knows your old neighbor from Fort Campbell. You were stationed in Germany with your FRG leader’s best friend. You are reunited with your friend from three duty stations ago, in Italy of all places.

Because of this, it is really important to be able to find people that you can trust. Rumors can get started. Maybe your brother is coming to visit, but all people see is a man coming in and out of your house when your husband is deployed. People are not always honest, and some people do like to start drama. 

When looking for your military spouse best friend, you have to be able to trust them. You don’t want to share your deepest worries to find out that now half of the FRG knows about them. Use caution and be the type of friend you would want to meet yourself.

If all of us can do this, the military spouse world will be a much better place overall.

Making friends is something all Military spouses have to do. There have been times during my husband’s military career when I didn’t feel like I had a good friend circle. And that just made military life a lot harder.

While finding and making those best friends can be difficult at times, working to find them is a good goal. Yes, you might have to put yourself out there more than you are comfortable with. Yes, you might encounter people that just want to be about the drama. Don’t let that stop you. Finding a military spouse best friend will be worth the search.

What do you look for in a military spouse best friend???

Making Time For Yourself During a Deployment

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Making Time For Yourself During a Deployment

When your spouse is deployed, finding time for yourself is a lot more complicated. There is always so much to do. And, there is no way to get it all done.

You hear about practicing self-care, but that doesn’t seem possible at the moment. You are always so tired and are not sure when you could find the time to take a bubble bath or read a book. You know you need to relax but you can’t figure out how at the moment.

Breathe

The truth is, finding time for yourself during a deployment is going to take some planning. If you wait for it naturally to come to you, it probably won’t. You need to take some steps so you can figure out how you can make time for yourself.

The reality is, if you keep going and going and don’t ever stop, you will burn yourself out. You need to figure out how to help yourself, even within a crazy schedule. You need to figure out what works for you.

Self-care is very specific to each person. Some people love to get their nails done. They find doing so very relaxing. I really don’t. It’s just not my thing. But, I would love to sit at a coffee shop for hours with a good book.

The key is finding what you love and what you can do. If you have small children and a deployed spouse, you can’t just leave to go take time to yourself, you have to plan for it.

You might be able to hire a babysitter, trade babysitting with a friend, or take advantage of CDC hours.

You can also find some of that self-care time after your kids go to bed. I did this all the time during our early deployments. I would try to keep to an earlier bedtime for my kids so I had a few hours to myself before I went to bed.

Being able to make that time for myself was a must. I couldn’t imagine not doing so. Being able to somewhat relax recharged me and allowed me to be the best mom I could be, even during a deployment.

Often time, especially us moms, assume we can’t even find time to take a shower or take a short break. The truth is, some seasons will be harder to do so than others, but that doesn’t mean it is impossible to do so.

Our mental health is important, and during a deployment, we have to be really aware of how we are doing emotionally. Many military spouses are going through depression or anxiety, or both. We have to figure out ways to help get through what we are dealing with in a healthy manner.

Making Time For Yourself During a Deployment

Here are some self-care resources to help:

Self-Care for MILSOs Ebook by Mrs. Navy Mama

14 Self-Care Books You Should Definitely Read This Year

Self-Care: 12 Ways to Take Better Care of Yourself

Military Child Care Programs

Let Brave Crate Get You Through a Deployment

See what you can do to change things up and give yourself permission to take time for yourself. You will be so glad you did!

Another Month Down, Another Brave Crate

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Another Month Down, Another Brave Crate

I received a free box for review and this post contains affiliate links!

I am a BIG fan of countdowns. I know not everyone likes them, and I never do them publicly, but for my own sanity, I need to have some type of countdown going. At least to see how far we have come and how much further we might have to go.

Once we hit that one-month mark of a deployment, I can start to look forward to another month down. Each month down is another month closer to that homecoming date.

Have you heard of Brave Crate? They are a monthly box just for military spouses going through a deployment. How awesome is that?

While Brave Crate wasn’t around during our past deployments, if we go through one in the future, I know signing up for the box would be one of the first things I would do. Why?

  • Monthly Mail- Who doesn’t love getting mail? I LOVE it, even more so when my husband was away. I love fun boxes and cool treats. And this monthly box? It is made ALL for the military spouse.
  • Try new products- One of the best things about a monthly box is that it is filled with new products, many I have never seen before. This helps me find new small businesses to order from or to find a new product I can use and love.
  • Made just for us- I LOVE that Brave Crate is made just for military spouses going through a deployment. They have challenges and ways to use the products to get to your goals.
  • The Brave Crate Community- Did you know Brave Crate also has a Facebook group? They are pretty amazing and can be a good place to talk deployments, find new friends, and gush about the latest box.

What’s in the box???

Here is what came in one of my favorite boxes from last year!

Another Month Down, Another Brave Crate
Another Month Down, Another Brave Crate
Another Month Down, Another Brave Crate
Another Month Down, Another Brave Crate
Another Month Down, Another Brave Crate
Another Month Down, Another Brave Crate

How much does Brave Crate cost?

Month-to-month: $39.99/month
3- Month Plan: $36.99/month
6- Month Plan: $33.99/ month

Your membership can be cancelled at any time!

Are you interested in a Brave Crate box? If so head on over and sign up, use the code “SWCL” and receive $5 off your first box!

A Military Spouse For All Seasons

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It’s fall! As I look out the window I can see the colors of the trees. I love how beautiful the fall in Tennessee is. Watching the leaves change is also a reminder of a new season approaching and the old one letting go.

As military spouses, our lives can be broken up into seasons. At first, we are a new spouse, asking all the questions. Then we become more seasoned and find ourselves offering advice.

We go through seasons of deployment, then reintegration, and then deployment once again. Hoping that we can take what we have learned from the past and apply it to the future. Hoping the next deployment is a little easier, even if deployments don’t work that way.

We go through seasons of pcsing. Our spouse gets orders to a new place. We research and learn as much as we can. We prepare and countdown the days. Then moving day arrives and we travel to our new home.

At first, we don’t know where anything is and have to ask for directions to the PX. But time passes and we find our community. We find our place. Knowing that there will be another PCS again in the future.

We go through seasons of “normal” life when our spouse comes home from work just like other spouses do. We spend the weekends together as a family, and life just goes on. But we can’t completely relax because we know things can and will change again in the future.

We find new friends and get to know one another, getting excited about what we have in common. If we are lucky we can spend years together, knowing one day the military will cause us to have to part. But we cherish the time we have together as much as we can because we know how quickly things can change.

As the seasons change, so do our lives. We might live in the south, soaking up the humidity, and swatting away the bugs, and the next year we will be sitting by a fire in Germany, wondering when the snow will actually melt.

The seasons with our kids change as well. That first deployment we might have babies, and by the fifth one, teenagers. No two deployments are the same and this is one of the biggest reasons why. The seasons of our lives have changed and so do our challenges.

As you go through these changes, remember, the bad seasons do not last forever and through them, there are so many lessons for us to learn. During the easier seasons of life, we might be able to reach out and help others on their own military journey.

If you are sick of your duty station, don’t worry, seasons will change and you will be on the move once again.

If you are sick of a deployment, remember, the days do pass and you will be at the end, and into a new season of them being home.

If you are struggling with your kids, struggling with work, or struggling in general, you can find ways to help. You can figure out what you can do to make life a little easier. And you can remember that this is just a season in your life, and things won’t always be this way.

I know this fall season that I love will pass quickly. One day I will look up at the trees and see most of them have lost their colors. I will start needing a jacket everywhere I go, and might even see some snowflakes. This will be a reminder to me that seasons change in the world, just like they do in my military life.

What season are you going through right now?

To My Children Born After 9/11

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To My Children Born After 9/11

To My Children Born After 9/11

What we can tell our children about that day, the ones that don’t remember the world before everything changed. The ones for whom the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are the norm. The ones for whom terrorism has always been a known threat.

When I was in 1st grade, the Challenger exploded on live TV. I will remember that forever. When my parents were just becoming adults, Kennedy was shot. And so many young adults today might just remember their parents glued to the TV in September of 2001.

When you are a child, and a tragedy happens, you are usually aware that something is going on out of the norm. You might not even remember all the details of that day, but the event sticks with you. You rely on older generations to let you know what happened and what the tragedy meant.

As far as 9/11 is concerned, this is something that happened before my children were born. To them September 11th wasn’t something they lived through, it was something they were told about. 9/11 is something they can look up in their history books and listen to stories from those who were there.

These children, these teenagers, these kids, they don’t know the world in which something like 9/11 didn’t even seem possible. On September 10, 2001, so many of us went to bed expecting the next day to be a typical September day. 9/11 was the phone number you called when you had an emergency; it wasn’t an emergency on its own.

For those in the military, 9/11 changed the directions of their careers. I can’t imagine what my military spouse life would have looked like had 9/11 never happened. If service members had never gone to Iraq or Afghanistan. If there had never been a surge or deployment extensions.

The wars my husband has been in have changed him, changed us, and changed our whole lives. I tried to explain this to my boys. That their Dad, he is a big part of what happened after 9/11. That if that day hadn’t happened, their lives would look very different.

I explained to them that the way to board an aircraft is different. When I was in college, my parents would wait for me at the gate when I flew home for visits. This is such a small change, but I can’t help remembering how things used to be. From having to take your shoes off to being careful about which liquids you bring, flying will never be the same again.

To My Children Born After 9/11

But for my kids? This is the way things are. This is the way they have always been for them. They don’t remember a time before all of this.

So when I talk to my children about 9/11, I want them to know that something we didn’t think would happen did. That we realized the horror that others could commit. That we had to make plans as a country to work towards keeping everyone safe and making sure what happened in New York City, never happened again.

I hope that I can take my boys to NYC someday. I have never been myself, but when we go, I would want them to see the 9/11 memorial. I would want to share more about that day. I want them to learn about the first responders and the heroes that emerged after it happened. I want them to know that history is important and what we learn from the past is what will help us move forward in the future.

How do you talk to your kids that were not yet born when 9/11 happened?

How Military Spouses Can Prep For Online Schooling

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This post is sponsored by MedCerts! 

How Military Spouses Can Prep For Online Schooling

After 20 years I decided to go back to school, but I was nervous about doing so. I decided taking an online class would be the best way to get back into school mode after so much time. A lot had changed technology-wise since I had been in college, but these changes only made schooling online a little bit easier.

Many military spouses choose to go to school online. Even before the pandemic, going to school online gave you a bit more flexibility. If you had little ones, and a spouse who was never home, as we military spouses often do, you would still be able to attend class and work on a degree. Going to school online gives you more options.

In order to go to school online, you will need to prep a bit before you get going on your school year.

1) Make sure you have a good space to get your work done. A desk or a table works best. You want to be in the best environment for learning and studying.

2) Make sure you have the right supplies. A dependable computer is a must, but also, make sure to have notebooks, pens and pencils, and anything else you might need before classes start. 

3) Talk with your family about expectations. They will need to understand you will need the time to study and get your work done. Having everyone on board is a must. 

If you are currently wondering how to go back to school as a military spouse, MedCerts is a great option! 

  • MedCerts has been helping military spouses create new career opportunities for over 10 years. They have trained and up-skilled more than 30,000 individuals across the country and partnered with over 1,000 organizations to build talent pipelines.
  • Their programs are completely online which means you can access them from anywhere you might PCS, from Georgia to Germany. You will have 24-hour online access to all course materials and videos. 
  • Most of their programs only take between 4-6 months to complete, which allows you more flexibility to learn online. 
  • MedCerts focuses on certifications in high-demand areas of Allied Healthcare and IT. You can find programs in the healthcare and medical, professional development, and information technology fields. You can find online healthcare, online professional development, and IT certificates. 
  • Most of MedCerts programs can be paid for with MyCAA, which means no money out of pocket. MyCAA is a grant offering $4,000 to military spouses pursuing a certification in a high-demand, portable career. 
  • MedCerts is a top military spouse-friendly school. It was designed by Victory Media, which is the publisher of Military Spouse Magazine. 
  • Who is eligible? Military spouses who are married to active duty members of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, or National Guard are eligible. They would need to be in the pay grades of either E1-E5, W1-W2, or O1-O2. For National Guard, and/or AGR members, the sponsor must be on federal Title 10 active duty orders. 
  • Your course materials and exam prep is included, and you can find live one-on-one mentoring support to help you through anything you might have questions about. 
  • When you finish a course you will receive a certificate of completion and a free National certification exam. After certification, they also offer job placement support.

MedCerts can be a good way for military spouses to go back to school online. Qualifying spouses can do so for free, and be able to work on their own careers, even during the crazy of military life. Head on over to MedCerts and sign up to work towards your own goals. 

20 Years of War

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20 years of war

The very last of American troops left Afghanistan yesterday. Just about two weeks before the 20th anniversary of 9/11. 20 years. Why can’t I wrap my mind around that?

20 years is a lifetime for some. 20 years ago, social media wasn’t something we knew anything about. 20 years ago, we had cell phones that made phone calls and that’s about it. 20 years ago, I was a college student, who has just met the love of my life, a veteran who had served in the Army in the 90s.

As the first troops left for Afghanistan, we, the American people had no idea what that would look like. We knew it had to be done. America was attacked. America was in pain. America was grieving.

As those first troops left for Afghanistan, did they know that the babies they left at home would be old enough to fight the same fight, years into the future? Did they know that this was just the beginning of a long time of war? A long time of wishing for peace and not finding it?

My husband has been deployed to Afghanistan twice. I have a video of my young son trying to pronounce where he was. That has been replaying in my brain a lot the last few weeks. Afghanistan, the place the soldiers go. Back then, it was a deployment. It was where he was sent. When the military calls, you go.

As we heard the news last week about the 13 members of the military who were lost in the last days of our time over there, I think back to the past 20 years and all we have lost.

We have lost so many men and women to this fight. So many families will never be together again. So many hurting people.

I wish we could wave a magic wand and never have to deploy any other troops. I wish that another military family would never have to experience that knock or even a call about an injured love one. I wish the terrorism and the hate would go away, and we could live our lives free of all of it.

But I know better. I know that will never be the case. I know that as long as my husband serves in the military, he could be deployed again. To somewhere else.

And America will always have our military. Ready to defend and support. Ready to deploy, to somewhere in the world.

None of us know what the future will bring. Ask the military spouse whose husband joined the military in 2000. They had no idea how things would change for them in the course of just a year or two.

Ask the military spouse who thought she was marrying a civilian. Who is now helping her spouse pack for their first deployment.

Ask the military spouse who assumed she would have her children and raise them down the street from grandma and grandpa, who is now raising them in Japan, or Germany, or in a US city far from home.

When our service member joins the military, or when we marry them, joining them in their military world, we have to understand that they have a sense of duty. And that can be such a hard thing to come to terms with.

They have a duty to go and to serve, or they never would have enlisted in the first place. They have a duty to go, even when we need them back at home. They have a duty to America that sometimes has to come first.

We have to stand by them as they go places we might not think they should go. We have to have their back when they come home and have a hard time processing everything. We are the ones holding everything together as they make their way through the ranks, fighting for our freedom in different types of ways.

After so many years of being a military wife, I can’t imagine what our life would be like without the military in it. The military has formed who we have become as a couple, and as a family. The military has determined what my husband would be around for and what he would miss.

As I watch the children of some of the soldiers I know put on the uniform too, I pray that their time in service is a bit easier. I pray that they will get more breaks to be with family and that the road isn’t so hard. I pray that we have learned from the last 20 years, and know when we are pushing these young men and women too hard.

20 years of war is a heavy thing to come to terms with. 20 years is a long time. Our world has changed so much in that time, for the good and for the bad.

20 years of sending our men and women in uniform.

20 years of wondering if our spouse will be home.

20 years of wondering when they will have to go back again after this deployment is over.

20 years of sending a soldier back overseas after just two weeks at home with his family.

20 years of really hoping that we have done what we could to help stop the spread of terrorism in our world.

20 years of children missing a mom or dad.

20 years of homecomings with welcome home hugs, and kisses, and proposals.

20 years of war.

What will the next 20 years look like?