Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

Use Dealspotr To Save Money And Earn Rewards

by Leave a Comment

Sponsored Post Graphic

I don’t know about you but I love to find a good deal. Before I finish checking out in an online store or before I go to an actual store planning to spend money, I like to search for coupons or coupon codes. More often than not, the store has one and I can use that coupon or code to save money. Even if the amount is just a couple of dollars or free shipping, I love to find them.

dealspotr

I had the chance to review the website Dealspotr and set up an account. I am now a ProBlogger over there. I have been using Dealspotr for the last few weeks and having a lot of fun with the site. There is a lot you can do and you can actually earn gift cards by earning points. Who doesn’t love to earn gift cards? I am working towards a $10 Amazon card.

Signup

The first thing I did was sign up which was easy to do. You can sign up with Facebook.

Add Stores

The first thing I did was to start following stores. I went through their list and added a lot of the stores I normally shop at. Target, Old Navy, Payless, Sears, Amazon, etc. By adding stores you can start following them and following their deals.

Spots

The next step was to start to use my spots. You start with 3, I have 10 now. You get more spots the more you are able to spot deals. Spots are when you “spot” a deal. If it gets “hot” then you get points. The amount of points you get depends on which person you were in the list of people who spotted the deal. For example, being the 4th person can get you 25 points and being the 1st can get you 200. Your goal is to be one of the first to spot the deal but you will get points as long as the deal you spotted goes hot.

Connect

After I figured out how all of this worked, I started to connect with others. You can connect by “following” people. Then, when you are looking for your spots you can pull up who you follow. This can make it easier to find a good deal. You can also comment on their deals and they can comment on yours. This creates a bit of a community on the site. All people looking and finding deals.

Add Deals

Another way to earn points and be a part of the community is adding deals yourself. This is as simple as finding deals in your email and adding them to the site. Dealspotr tells you if the deal has already been posted. Then people can follow your deals and you earn points when they do that too.

dealspotr

What I Like About Dealspotr

I admit, I love sites where you can earn points and then earn gift cards. I want these sites to be organized and work well. I want to be able to come and only have to spend a few minutes a day on them. Dealspotr is one of these sites. I like how if you only have a few minutes a day you can go, find your spot,  add a deal, connect with a few others and sit back and earn points the rest of the day. This site takes a few minutes to learn how to use but then once you figure it out, you will want to visit every day. Dealspotr is a site where you can easily earn points for rewards by sharing, liking and discussing deals. Deals you might be looking for anyway. Why not earn something from doing that?

Sound good? Come join me over at Dealspotr. Start earning points and gift cards too 🙂

Find the best coupons, promo codes, and deals everyday at Dealspotr

 

  • This post contains affiliate links 🙂

The One Thing Your Marriage Needs To Survive A Deployment

by 3 Comments

Trust is so important for any couple, military or not. You have to be able to trust the person you are spending your life with. You have to. If you don’t have trust, you are going to have problems.

Within a military marriage, this is even more important. You are going to spend a lot of time apart, oceans apart in some cases. You will go days without talking, sometimes weeks. You might have to go a whole year without living in the same house. Trust is the number one thing you need to survive a deployment.

The One Thing Your Marriage Needs To Survive A Deployment

Trust Is A Must

Without trust, your imagination can take hold of you. Is he really on a blackout or does he just not want to talk to me? Is he spending all his free time with someone else or is he really that busy?

Is there a reason he is always online but never calls me? Is he messaging someone else? I think most military spouses struggle with these thoughts when their husband is gone. It can be hard to live apart. Your brain plays tricks on you.

You have to struggle to not think the worst sometimes. But this is why trust is a must. You have to be able to trust that your spouse is going to be loyal to you. That they have your heart in their heart. You have to believe this is true.

So when those thoughts pop into your head, you can push them aside. So you remember that your spouse does really care for you and although he can’t always contact you and can’t be everything you need at the moment because of his job, he still loves and cares for you.

They Need To Be Able To Trust You

The trust I am talking about goes both ways. You don’t want your spouse to have to worry that you are not being faithful to him while he is away. From his point of view, you have access to the whole world. He has to be able to trust you.

Trust that you will be faithful, that you won’t spend all of the money, that you won’t leave him. This doesn’t mean you have to be stuck in your house for the time he is gone. It just means that you want to be smart with your time and know your own relationship. Be someone that your spouse does not have to worry about.

Talk Through Your Struggles

Every couple has struggled. Both civilian couples and military couples. This is just something you have to work through.

If trust is your issue, you need to talk through that, before they leave for a deployment or other training. You want to be on the same page. You want to know that you can both trust each other. You want to recognize your weak points and work through them.

It could be that you worry so much that you let that worry take over and although your spouse is being trustworthy, you have a hard time believing them. This could be because of something that happened in the past or just the way your personality works. Either way, work through that.

Sometimes You Can’t Trust Them

Sometimes your worries about trust are important to listen to. Sadly, not everyone is trustworthy. Not everyone tells the truth and some people, both the military member and spouse don’t act the way they should during a deployment.

If this is you, reach out. Reach out to a good friend that you trust, talk to a Chaplain or Military Family Life Consultant. Make an appointment with a counselor. Or if you can, talk about your thoughts with your spouse.

The bottom line is that you know your own marriage and what your struggles are. Work on the trust issue and understand how important it is. When they are home, work on your marriage so when they have to leave again you will be in a much better place.

Trust in a military relationship is an invisible thread. One that you can’t see but that connects you to each other. You have to believe it is there and you have to believe that the other person is holding onto it too. Without that thread, the deployment is going to be even harder than it needs to be.

What do YOU think a marriage needs to survive a deployment?

The Moms of Military Service Members

by 1 Comment

“I want to be like Daddy! I want to be in the Army.”

If you have military kids you have probably heard this come out of their mouth at some point. Some military kids will join the Army or another branch of the military when they get older. Some men and women join the military even if they are not from a military family.

Moms of Military Service Members

As military spouses, we are the #1 person in our service members life. We head the support team. We drop them off and we pick them up. We wait for their calls and we are the ones that will be notified if something goes wrong. We are their spouse and we stand beside them. But there is another person in their life that loves them and misses them, just as much although in a different way. She is there for them and wants them to be safe just like we do.

This person is their mom.

Moms of Military Service Members stand by as they watch their son or daughter serve their country.

This mother’s day we should be remembering these moms. The ones who raised the men and women in the military. The ones who might take a back seat to the spouse but still want to be there for their child.

I have a hard time thinking about my little boys joining the military. Thinking about them joining and eventually going off to war tears at a mother’s heart but that is exactly what the moms of  military service members go through every day. As a mom, you need to let your child find their own path, you need to let them go and sometimes that means watching them go into military service.

These moms are so proud, how could they not be? They raised someone who is willing to put their life on the line for their country. That is something to be very proud about. These women support their sons and daughters and they support each other. I have seen them come together in different places and in different organizations. They support the mom whose son has just left for another deployment to Afghanistan and they support the mom of the daughter who just left for a year in Korea. They support the mom whose son has PTSD and just doesn’t seem like the same boy who left her house a few months before.

For some, their son or daughter goes from a senior in high school to a Private in the military in just a few months time. What a change and what a difficult transition to make. Most parents have a hard time dropping a child off for college, boot camp is another story.

Sometimes the moms of military service members get left behind.

It’s a difficult thing for the military spouse. She doesn’t want to leave her mother-in-law out but this is her husband and he is coming home from 6 months in Iraq and she doesn’t want to share him. This is understandable and most moms know this. They know that as much as they miss their child, the spouse is going to come first.

As a military spouse, we want to do our best to not leave our mother-in-law out. This can be more difficult if you don’t get along with yours. It’s much easier if you do. Keep her in mind during your spouse’s deployment, when you PCS and any other part of your military journey. She will be so glad that you did.

If you are the mom of someone in the military, know that we spouses support you too. Even though we look at everything a little differently than you do, we understand that things can be difficult for you as well. We know that you don’t get to talk to your child as much as we do and you may have to wait to have some time with them after they get home from a deployment. We know that it was hard to let them go and have them move so far away from you. We know that you cry at night just like we do and you pray hard for their safe return.

If you are the mom of a military service member, check in your local area to see if there is a Mothers of Military type of group for you to join.

Are you a mom of a military service member? How do you find support?

 

I Am Not A Perfect Military Spouse

by 2 Comments

There she is. She is always dressed so nicely. No yoga pants for this lady. She always brings the best food to every potluck. She is always there to help and always there with a smile. She never looks stressed and she never has to worry about her kids acting up. She is her husband’s #1 fan and no matter what happens in military life, she answers with a smile. A deployment? No problem. A move in the middle of the school year? She has got this. She never complains and rarely sheds a tear. She was made for this life. This perfect military spouse.

I Am Not A Perfect Military Spouse

Is she the person we are supposed to look up to? She is the one we should all be like, right? I am going to say NO! The idea of a perfect military spouse is frustrating. She might not even exist because even if someone appears that way, we don’t know what struggles they are probably going through at home. No, I am not a perfect military spouse and I don’t want to be one. I am me and I bring what I can to this lifestyle.

Deployments

I support my husband’s career but I hate deployments. I could never understand why my husband had to keep deploying. Even though I knew that was such a part of this life. I just wanted my husband home with us, was that too much to ask?

Potluck Foods

If there is a potluck I might make something but usually I am running to the store to pick up something easy. It really just depends  and I don’t want to be a flake but that is just the way these things go. I would love to be able to find something good on Pinterest and make an amazing dish but I always seem to fall short on that.

Volunteering

I want to be a good spouse and volunteer but my issue is my schedule and my kids. What can I do that wouldn’t be too stressful and would allow me to bring my kids? What can I add to my schedule? What can I do to give back that works for my family? The whole thing is very overwhelming for me. I have been able to find ways to volunteer within organizations like PWOC and MOPS which is great. I just wish I could do a bit more but maybe that will have to wait until a less crazy busy time in my life.

Clean House

I try to keep my house clean but the socks and the stickers and the dishes. Oh, my! With three boys, staying on top of things can be so difficult, even with them helping with some of the chores. I keep having to figure out new cleaning schedules and ways of getting everything done. I am beginning to think that some people were meant for spotless homes and others were not.

My Husband’s Job

When my husband has been deployed, I don’t want to know what he is doing until he is back home and the deployment is over. I can handle hearing about his dangerous job a little more when what he has done is in the past. People would ask me what he was doing over there and I really didn’t know more than just a general idea of his job. And that’s okay. Some spouses don’t know anything about what their husbands do because of security reasons. That’s okay too.

I Did The Best I Could

Over the years, I can honestly say I have done the best I could do. Solo parenting has been the hardest part. I cringe when I hear people say they never had a hard time as a military spouse or that we have no right to complain because we picked this life. Yes, we picked this life but when doing so we really had no idea what it was going to be like. And each member of the military can have such different experiences during their military careers. No one knows what military life will really be like going in.

So…whether you are new to being a military spouse or have been one for many years, never feel like you have to be the perfect military spouse. Be who you are and know that you have your own strengths.

You might not make a good potluck meal but you know how to fix your husband’s favorite food the day before he deploys. You might not have a super clean house but your house is always warm and comfortable to hang out at. Your kids might fight more than they should but they know they are loved and get to experience a lot of great things during their time as military children.

There is a lot that every military spouse can offer and that is a big asset to the military.

Have you struggled with trying to be the perfect military spouse? Can you let that go?

When Your Spouse Has A Dangerous Job

by 3 Comments

Sitting in the pre-deployment briefing before a deployment is surreal. You think you are ready for the deployment, but the reality is different emotions and feelings come up.

When they start to talk about what could happen and what the military will do if the worst does in fact happen can cause anyone to go into a panic. Knowing that your husband, your soul mate is going off to war and will be spending months in a very dangerous job isn’t something you can easily come to terms with.

When Your Spouse Has A Dangerous Job

You have to know the process too. You can’t stick your head in the sand about this. You have to know what will happen if your spouse isn’t going to make it home. You have to understand what will happen if your spouse gets injured or if you have an emergency back at home and you need to contact them.

You need to make sure they have an updated will and that all the right paperwork is filled out. These are the types of things that will come up in a pre-deployment briefing. They want you to be prepared and know what you will need to do if anything does happen when your spouse is deployed.

When you see them off, when they leave, when the deployment becomes real, there is a sense of fear that can stop you in your tracks if you let it. The key is to figure out methods to be able to deal with the fact that your spouse has a dangerous job. This isn’t just something military spouses have to do. Others have to do this when they are married to police officers, firefighters or any other job that can put their life at risk.

I wanted to share what worked for me and how I was able to come to terms with my husband having a dangerous job. For as hard as deployments were for me, this part of being deployed wasn’t where I struggled. Somehow I was able to get through my deployments without letting this fear overtake me.

Here are some things to keep in mind when your spouse has a dangerous job:

The News

The standard advice is to avoid the news, but I am going to say that depends very much on your personally. Some people need to watch the news to feel safer. Some are not bothered by watching the news at all.

Others have to stay away from the news altogether. You know yourself; you know what will set you off. If watching the news makes you more scared and worried about your spouse, don’t look at the news. Walk away from that until they come home.

Prayers

Relying on your faith traditions is important during a deployment. For me, that meant always praying and believing that I would be taken care of no matter what happened to my husband. Knowing that I had so many praying for him helped as well. Knowing that God was there, even in time of war was important.

Find your faith during the months your spouse is away and depend on it. Even if you are not super religious, you do believe in something so use that when things feel like they are falling apart and you are not sure you can handle your spouse being in a war zone. Meditate, pray and depend on others to help you through.

Preparing

I remember telling a non-military friend about how I didn’t think I would ever be emotionally prepared if something happened to my husband overseas but I was going to be as financially prepared as possible. I wanted to know what would happen to us. How we would live and what we would live on.

I wanted everything set and a plan in my head. This helped me feel better about everything and allowed me to stop dwelling on the what-ifs and focus on what I needed to do each day when he was gone.

Talking About It

Talking about all of this with others who are also going through a deployment can help. When my husband was deployed, I talked with my other Army wife friends about what we would do if something happened to our husbands.

We talked about the difficulties we might encounter with different family members or how our career plans would change. This was helpful because doing so allowed us to know we were not alone. Talking about your fears with others who understand them can be very therapeutic.

In the end, know that you are not alone in your worry. Worrying about your spouse going to a dangerous place and doing dangerous things is normal. However, you don’t have to let your fear overtake you to the point where you can’t live your life. You can prepare and do what you can to be able to get through the time they are over there.

How do you control your fear during a deployment? What has worked best when you have a spouse with a dangerous job?

The Military Spouse Superpower You Can’t Live Without

by 3 Comments

The Military Spouse Superpower You Can't Live WithoutThe Military Spouse Superpower You Can’t Live Without

My husband was going to be home in June. He had left the August before. It was April, and the weather in Germany was slowly warming up. If you have ever been through a longer deployment, you know how important the change of seasons can be. My husband left the end of summer which quickly turned to fall and then winter. Now that the weather was warming up, the deployment was coming to an end. Two months to go.

So, what does a military spouse do with just TWO months left of deployment? She looks for a cute homecoming outfit. Since he would be coming home in June, I wanted to get a summer dress. I wanted something fun and comfortable. I went online and finally found my dress. I didn’t hit order. I am not sure why. I just didn’t. I wanted to sleep on the decision or wait a few days to make sure I wanted that dress.

The next day, everything changed. They were no longer coming home in June. They told us October with whispers of that really meaning November. I was heartbroken. I was thankful I didn’t order that dress. The dress would have just been a reminder of what had happened. My husband’s deployment was extended. He ended up coming home the day before Thanksgiving. That was not summer. That was not the day in June we thought he would be home.

At the time, I was crushed. If this happened today, I would still be crushed. Nothing can prepare you for something like that.

But as the years have gone on, I have figured out more and more that flexibility is a must as a military spouse. Flexibility needs to become your superpower. It needs to be something you take with you through each deployment, each duty station and each step of military life.

Things will never go the way you think they should go. They won’t even go the way they say they are supposed to at first. You will be told one thing, plan for that and then something else will happen.

Military life is having a plan. Then a new plan. Then another plan. Then the first plan. Then a brand new plan only to go back to the 2nd plan.

 

When plans change as they do in military life, you have to be flexible. You have to be able to shake things off and roll with what is going on. This does not mean you have to be happy all the time or look forward to all the changes, it just means you have to come up with a way to be flexible and a way to deal with all the changes that will come.

Here are some ideas:

Talk Things Out

Find a good friend you can talk to about what you are dealing with. Whether you are waiting on orders for a PCS or waiting to hear when your spouse is actually going to deploy, talking things out with a good friend is the best thing to do. Most likely they have been there or will be there someday too so they can relate to your struggles. Be a good friend and allow your people to talk to you about what they are going through. Find friends who won’t just tell you to deal but who can help you become more flexible.

Write In Your Journal

A journal or diary is such a great idea. I have been keeping one since I was in high school. Whenever you are frustrated or upset about a change, write in your journal. Get your feelings all out there. Trust me, that will help. You can also go back through old entries to remind yourself how things worked out in the past. This can help you in the future.

Expect That Things Might Change

If you expect that there could be changes, you will be able to handle them a little easier. You will know not to put all your eggs in one basket. The problem I have is that I am a planner and I want everything done as soon as possible. If you told me we are going to PCS somewhere, I wanted to go online right away and research everything. Even if we didn’t have orders in hand. Taking a step back and waiting until things are for sure is difficult.

The Military Spouse Superpower You Can't Live WithoutYour Military Spouse Superpower

I think as a military spouse you must have superpowers. Traits that will get you through anything. You might not be born with these superpowers; you might need to develop them over time. Flexibility is one of these and without it, your military spouse journey is going to be a lot more difficult. If flexibility doesn’t come naturally to you, work on that. Understand you will need to know how to be flexible during your life as a military spouse and even after. Learning this skill will help you for the rest of your life.

Do you struggle with flexibility? What has helped you along the way?

 

Living Without Your Furniture During A Military Move

by Leave a Comment

This post brought to you by CORT. The content and opinions expressed below are that of Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life.

Moving is a part of life when you are a military family. We have moved four times since my husband joined the Army in 2005. Other people have moved even more times than that in the same amount of time. Moving can be stressful and requires a lot of planning.

Living Without Your Furniture During A Military Move

When we moved from Germany to Ft. Campbell we shipped all of our belongs ahead of time knowing it would take about six weeks until we saw them again. We would have a week in Germany before we moved and then a week in a hotel in the states before we were able to move into our rental home in Tennessee. That meant we would have four weeks without most of our belongings and with none of our furniture. That mean four weeks sleeping on an air mattress.

During this time I was also newly pregnant so the air mattress was not ideal. I also wished I had a kitchen table and some of our couches to sit on. At the time, we couldn’t go out and buy new ones, especially since we knew we would get our things in a few weeks time.

When I heard about CORT Furniture Rental I thought about those four weeks and how nice it would have been to have been able to rent some furniture while we waited for our furniture and other belongings to cross the ocean to join us. We could have had a place to sit and eat dinner and a bed to sleep on instead of feeling like we were camping with our air mattresses and sitting on camp chairs to eat. We would have felt more moved in if we had been able to do so.

Moving With The Military

CORT is more than a furniture rental company. They provide services and solutions for individuals who are going through a transition and companies that want to make a change. You can use their services if you are going through a relocation, on a temporary assignment, moving off-campus after living in the dorms or while you wait for your things during a military move.

We all know that military moves can be stressful. There is a lot you will need to do to get ready for them and once you move there will be a lot you need to do in order to feel at home. With CORT Furniture Rental you can make that part of the process a little easier. This service can also be great for single military men and women. They might not want to invest in a lot of furniture especially if they will be deploying off and on. When they rent furniture through CORT they can order online and will be able to get out of their contract with deployment orders if need me. That way they can have furniture when they are home and not have to worry about it when they are deployed.

Josh is one of these men…you can check out his story here…

CORT also offers military pricing which allows military families to save money. Military packages start at $119/mo. Customers will need to submit a valid Military ID to receive this discount.

Military Moves

If you are moving soon and would benefit from furniture rental, check out CORT and what they have to offer. They could be just what you are looking for to make your PCS a little less stressful and allow you to get back to everyday living a little sooner. I know we would have loved to have used CORT back when we were moving back to the US from overseas.

Visit Sponsors Site

What To Think About Before You Marry Someone In The Military

by 5 Comments

 

What To Think About Before You Marry Someone In The Military

 

What To Think About Before You Marry Someone In The Military

Whatever situation you are in or whatever situation you have been in, you did have to make the decision to become a military spouse. You had to decide that YES, you wanted to spend your life with someone who is in the military. That YES, you wanted to become his wife or her husband which meant becoming a military spouse and everything that would include.

So, what does being married to someone in the military mean? What would life be like to marry your boyfriend who is now a soldier? What does it mean when your husband of five years wants to join the Marines? What would it mean to marry the person you are in love with knowing that marrying them meant moving across the country and living as a military spouse?

Here are some things you need to think about when trying to make this decision:

Saying Goodbye Will Be A Part Of Your Life

No matter who you are or what type of military spouse you are, you will have to say goodbye and often. You will have to sleep alone. You will have to wait for orders and your future. This is all a part of military life. How long they are gone and how often they will go can vary but the truth is, you will have to say goodbye to your spouse on a regular basis. If you can’t even imagine that being a part of your life, you are going to have a difficult time as a military spouse.

You Will Have To Be Away From Home

If your spouse is going to be going Active duty, you most likely will have to move away from home. In some cases, you can try to stay if your home is near a military installation or if your spouse does some type of duty that allows him to live close by to where you are from. However, in most cases, you will not be able to stay there for their entire career and you will have to move away. You could end up across the country, across the world or just the next state over. You never really know and sometimes you don’t get a say, especially as they move up in rank.

The Kid Thing

Ahh, kids. When you are thinking about the future and having kids, do you think about how your spouse might not be there? It’s a sad reality that they might miss your pregnancy, the birth and the 1st year. They could miss the terrible 2s or kindergarten. They could miss out on so much and sometimes there is nothing you can do about that but accept that. Can you handle that? Some people don’t think they can. I thought I could and it was harder than I could have ever imagined. For some military couples, they don’t plan to have kids while in the military. Their plan is to have them later on in life and that is an option as well. However, a lot of people don’t want to wait on kids and many military families have them during those years when the service member might not always be home. You need to be prepared for that.

The “D” Word

Your spouse might deploy for just a few months at a time. They might deploy for a year. They might have to deploy too often or get frustrated that they are not able to go and do their job. Deployments are rough. From the pre-deployment stage to after they come home and everyone tries to get back to normal life. If there are no deployments there will be trainings or other reasons they have to go away for weeks or months at a time. There is no way around that.

The Community

I have talked about the hard parts of military life. The parts that make it difficult to want to commit to this life. The reasons some people get out of the military before they thought they would. But what about the good things about military life? The community of military spouses that you will become a part of. The thing is, as hard as life gets, you won’t be alone in going through them. Many other spouses would have gone through what you are going to have to go through. Many spouses get that and can offer a listening ear. You will make some of your closest friends as military spouses. Friends that will help you through solo parenting, deployments, pcsing and even retirement.

Is It Worth It?

Is military life worth it? Is your love worth it? Only you can answer that. Only you know what you can handle and what you can’t. I will tell you that if in your heart of hearts that you know you should be with this person, you should be with them whether that includes military life or not. That is a special kind of love and you don’t want to walk away from it because you are scared of the future or what military life is really going to be like.

Are you a new military spouse? Are you dating a service member?

What are you most worried about when it comes to committing to military life?