Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

military life

How To Go About House Hunting From Afar

by

Excited to have this guest post from Millie! Please visit my Duty Station Guest Posts page for more information on guest posting 🙂

How To Go About House Hunting From Afar

How To Go About House Hunting From Afar

“We have orders to WHERE???”

By Kellie Artis, gomillie.com

Once the orders drop, there are a few decisions that need to be made: will we live on base or off? And if we decide to live off base, will we rent or will we buy? Each of these decision points come with several considerations, but let’s just say that you decide to rent or buy a home in the community. Great! Now, where do you start?

Sometimes the stars align so that you can actually take a trip out to “recon” an area before your move. Often, this is a luxury considering all of the things that must fall into place to allow for such a trip: childcare, time off work for the spouse, leave for the service member, and non-reimbursable travel expenses. More often than not, you’ll be house hunting from afar.

Research

The absolute first place online you should visit is www.gomillie.com. MILLIE is a one-stop-shop for researching your next duty station, understanding the surrounding areas, and getting the inside scoop from a military family perspective. All of the information comes directly from hundreds of military spouses stationed at each of the 70+ installations featured on the site. Just go to the Find a Base page and search for your upcoming duty station! You’ll get the dish on area schools, the local housing market, attractions, pros and cons, even unit-specific maps and commute charts.

Grab a coffee and settle in to learn some of the most pertinent information about your new home and where to start on your virtual house hunt! From here you should have a pretty decent idea of where you’re going to want to start your home search. You will be a dream client for any real estate agent, and you’ll save tons of time by doing your research up front.

House Hunting

Finding an Agent

If you are considering buying a home, you’ll want to find an agent that understands your unique situation as a military family, and won’t be afraid of geographic restrictions (ie. potentially not being able to physically tour a home!). They also need to understand that military families buy with the future in mind. Unless this is your last stop, this purchase won’t be a forever home, but likely be a rental property after a couple of years. You’ll also want an agent that is knowledgeable of the VA loan benefit. We’ve heard over and over again of agents that have tried to talk military buyers out of using their benefit, likely because they have bought into some of the myths surrounding it, or aren’t familiar enough with it. A great agent will also be willing to do virtual tours (sometimes with really snazzy VR tech), and work around crazy time constraints.

Recommendations from friends is a good place to start when choosing who you’ll trust with this massive transaction. But if you don’t have a network where you’re headed, you can be expertly paired with a real estate agent who meets all of the above criteria, AND has also actually personally experienced a PCS. MILLIE’s AgentHero Network is made up exclusively of military spouse and veteran real estate agents who have served – just like you! They’re top agents who are also uniquely attuned to the needs of military clients because they’ve been in your shoes. You can connect with one of over 600 AgentHeroes within an hour directly from the MILLIE site.

House Hunting

Finding a Rental

Sometimes buying a home doesn’t make sense, so you’re on the hunt for a rental. By now you’ve done your research and have an idea of what area to focus on in your search. Next head over to MilitaryByOwner.com to start compiling actual listings to consider.

With each listing, remember that you can’t smell photos (cat pee or cigarette odor, anyone?) and they may have failed to mention the neighboring cellular tower in the listing. Sometimes homeowners or management companies will offer to give you a virtual tour, but keep in mind that there is an incentive for them to gloss over or completely omit the quirks and/or defaults of a home. Asking local friends to help out with “recon” is always an option, but if you don’t have a network where you’re headed or don’t want to lean on your friends in that way, you can turn to a MILLIE Scout. Scouts are military spouses who can be your boots-on-the ground when you can’t be there. You can hire a Scout to conduct a Facetime tour with you, provide neighborhood reviews, and more! This way you have an objective fact-finder that you can trust from afar to help provide decision support, and feel better about the dreaded “sight-unseen” situation we’re often faced with.  

House hunting from far away can be stressful, but with the right tools you can make decisions efficiently and from an informed point of view.  

—

MILLIE is an online community and digital marketplace that connects members of the military and their families with specialized knowledge and trusted resource providers to remove the stress and anxiety of PCS’ing. Check out MILLIE’s Installation and Neighborhood Guides, our network of Veteran and military spouse Realtors, and Scout, our on-demand task service composed of military spouses.

www.gomillie.com | MILLIE Journal | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest| Twitter

 

My Country ‘Tis of Thee, Sweet Land of Liberty, Of Thee I Sing

by

My Country ‘Tis of Thee, Sweet Land of Liberty, Of Thee I Sing

My Country 'Tis of Thee, Sweet Land of Liberty, Of Thee I Sing

Another summer, another 4th of July. The holiday to celebrate our country’s birthday. The holiday to celebrate our love for our country.

As a child, the 4th of July was all about fireworks, BBQs, and time with family and friends. My parent’s neighborhood always had a parade and my brother, and I would dress up our bikes for the occasion.  We would grab a bucket of fried chicken and go somewhere to watch the fireworks.

As an adult, I have tried to recreate so much of that with my children. These days we live in a military town. We don’t even have to go anywhere to see the fireworks show, going out to our backyard with a chair works well. And as the holiday gets closer, I can’t help but think of one of my favorite patriotic songs from the time I was a little girl, My Country Tis of Thee.

My country, ’tis of thee,

Sweet land of liberty,

Of thee I sing;

Land where my fathers died,

Land of the pilgrims’ pride,

From ev’ry mountainside

Let freedom ring!

My native country, thee,

Land of the noble free,

Thy name I love;

I love thy rocks and rills,

Thy woods and templed hills;

My heart with rapture thrills,

Like that above.

My Country 'Tis of Thee, Sweet Land of Liberty, Of Thee I Sing

I can remember learning the lyrics to this song when I was about four years old. This song, which spoke so strongly of our country, reminds us of who we are and where we came from.

In today’s world, there seems to be this idea that you can only be patriotic if you belong to a certain political party, and that simply isn’t true. So many of us, no matter how we vote, love our country deeply. We want the best for her. We want her to succeed. We want her to be the best that she can be.

This fourth of July I can’t help but think about all of our military families.

Those who have just started this journey and those who are getting close to retirement. Those that have been injured, and the families that mourn those who never came home. Those who are home this year, and those currently going through a deployment.

My Country 'Tis of Thee, Sweet Land of Liberty, Of Thee I Sing

I think about all the people of this country, from the beaches of Florida to the mountains of Colorado. From the coastal villages of New England to the beach cities in Southern California. From those deep in the heart of Texas to those in the deep wilderness of Alaska.

I think of the people who came here from all over the world. From those who came to be able to worship who they want, to those who wanted to protect their children from a more dangerous world.

There are so many different ways to be an American, so many different paths we can take.

As we focus on America’s Independence Day this year, we can remember the good and the bad. We can look ahead to how we can improve, and look back at the ways we have made life better for others. We can think about our little corner of the country, and extend grace to others who may be living life differently than we are.

My Country 'Tis of Thee, Sweet Land of Liberty, Of Thee I Sing

As a military spouse, I have such a special place in my heart for all things America. The 4th of July is a time to celebrate what is good about our country, and what those in the past have done over the years, to ensure our freedom. It can also be a time to reflect on what we can do better and to learn from mistakes we have made in the past.

We can remember those we have personally lost and those who died for America, years before we were born. We can look to the people making a difference today, and think back to those who made a difference in the past.

How do you like to celebrate the 4th of July? 

My country, ’tis of thee, Sweet land of liberty, Of thee I sing

 

Can Raising Your Kids Away From Family Be A Good Thing?

by

Can Raising Your Kids Away From Family Be A Good Thing?

This past weekend, the article, Why Raising Kids Without Family Nearby Sucks by Scary Mommy was being shared on Facebook.

I could really relate to most of that post, as many other military spouses can too.

Can Raising Your Kids Away From Family Be A Good Thing?

We have not lived near family since my oldest son, who is almost 14, was six months old. We have never really had local family to help us along the way. My kids don’t know our families as well as they could. There are a lot of things they are missing out on because of living far from home.

Some of my friends do live near their family. I see their parents stepping in for different situations. They seem to always have a backup. If dad has to work, and mom has to take one kid to an appointment right when school gets out, a family member can pick up the other kids.

I see how friends can attend family birthday parties, and go out with their parents on Mother’s day, and Father’s day. I see how grandparents go to all the sporting games, school plays, and other events that kids take part in.

While some of our family has been able to come and visit and experience some of that, it hasn’t been the norm.

When I think about all of this, when I think about how our lives would be different if we lived closer to family, I couldn’t help but wonder if I am looking at that through rose colored glasses? Maybe it wouldn’t be as wonderful as I think it would be? Maybe, for my personality, it would drive me nuts? Maybe I am thinking all of this to cope with the fact that it might not ever work out to live near family?

When I was growing up, I wanted to get out and explore other places. I wanted to know what living somewhere else was like. I wanted to experience something completely different. Because of this, I moved about nine hours away from home for college. Then, my husband and I moved to Kentucky in 2005. The Army took us to Germany, and then Tennessee. None of these places are like where I grew up in Southern California.

These days, we have a home here in Tennesse, in a military friendly city, that we usually enjoy living in.

Can Raising Your Kids Away From Family Be A Good Thing?

We are over 2,000 miles from most of our family. And sometimes I like that. 

Don’t get me wrong. I miss my family like crazy. I wish I could be there too most days. To go to my dad’s concerts, to meet up during the week for lunch with my mom, to be there as my brother starts a family. I hate missing so much.

But the reality is, I am not sure what it would be like to live near my family. I have never really done it except for extended trips. I don’t know what it is like to be able to see them all the time or to have such easy access.

Do I get along so well with my family because I don’t live close? Would there be drama if I was? I just don’t know.

So on those days when I am feeling bad because I am not raising my kids near family, I try to think of the positives of this way of life. The quiet Christmas mornings, just our family of five. Being able to parent the way I want without a lot of well-meaning opinions thrown into the mix. Being able to vacation in Southern California vs trying to raise a family. Because I am not even sure how people do that these days and a lot of my friends have moved out of state for cheaper places to live anyway.

Military families can have amazing experiences during their time in the service.

They can live down the road from a castle in Germany. They can be stationed near the beaches of Hawaii. They can live off the California coast, or have the mountains of Colorado as a backdrop. And a lot of these experiences come at the cost of not being able to live near family. Of missing out on too much. Of being the out-of-town people who visit once in a while.

And maybe, in the end, there is no perfect way to do this. Perhaps each type of life comes with its own set of pros and cons. And perhaps those are different based on who you are and what you want in life.

Can Raising Your Kids Away From Family Be A Good Thing?

And when you are raising your kids away from family, you find a way to make things work.

You have to rely on other people, which can be hard, but which can also help you grow relationships you wouldn’t otherwise have. You learn different skills and work to make a good life for your kids, even if extended family isn’t the biggest part. You learn to adjust and figure out a way to make it through.

As for us, I really don’t know what the future holds. Somedays I want to move back to the west coast, and others I am perfectly fine here in Tennessee.

What about you? Have you ever lived near family? Did you like it? Do you dream of a life where you can?

Sometimes They Miss So Much

by

Sometimes They Miss So Much

This is a sponsored conversation on behalf of Holt’s Cigar Company via SoFluential Media. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Sometimes They Miss So Much

When my husband joined the military, we already had children. A little boy. One of the reasons I went back and forth on it for so long was that I knew that when my husband joined the military, it would mean he would miss some of my son’s life. And that we would not be able to pick and choose what we would miss and what he would be home for.

In the last 12.5 years, he has missed his fair share of moments with our boys. He missed my 2nd little boy’s birth, and almost his entire first year due to a deployment extension. He has missed the first day of school, the last day of school, first words, and other milestones along the way.

As a military family, we know this is a part of the deal, but sometimes it makes me sad for him. I have been here for everything, and for him, some of our children’s growing up was done over emails, texts, and video chats. This can be frustrating for both of us, and I can only imagine what it must be like to not be able to see your children for months at a time while you are serving your country.

Military fathers sacrifice so much during their time in the military. Having to say goodbye to not only their spouse but also their children. We as a country can never really thank them enough for that sacrifice.

Sometimes They Miss So Much

As spouses, we can send them all the videos and photos in the world, but once they come home and you see your children run into their arms, you know that the missing is over and the bonding can resume. That your husband can be an in-person father once again.

This father’s day, there are many ways to show you care to the military fathers in your life. From cooking them a special dinner to buying them the right father’s day gift. One company that has some fantastic things for Dads is Holt’s Cigar Company. They have gifts that would be perfect for Father’s Day, a graduation, and even the birth of a child.

And…best of all, they have a 10% military discount, to help you save money as you are picking out a present for your favorite dad.

Military life isn’t easy, especially when you are far away from your family. A nice gift can be the perfect way to show them your love and Holt’s Cigar Company can help you find something they will love.

Deployment One of Our Pieces is Missing by Julia Cook

by

Deployment One of Our Pieces is Missing by Julia Cook

If you are raising military children you might always be on the lookout for books that can help them through the challenges of military life, such as deployments. I was sent one of these books for review!

Deployment One of Our Pieces is Missing by Julia Cook

Deployment One of Our Pieces is Missing by national award-winning children’s author, Julia Cook, Illustrated by Tamara Campeau is a fantastic way to explore deployments from a child’s point of view.

The book goes with the idea that everyone in the family is a puzzle piece. I like this because families do have to work together, no matter what. You all have to fit and as life goes along, you form a complete picture.

Deployment One of Our Pieces is Missing by Julia Cook

However, when one parent has to deploy, things change a bit. You feel like apart of your family is missing. You feel like a puzzle without all of its pieces.

Deployment One of Our Pieces is Missing by Julia Cook

The book goes on to show the dad puzzle piece coming home and the struggles that can bring to a family as well. The dad puzzle doesn’t just go right back to where he was. And the rest of the family has changed a bit too.

This book really gives a good picture of what happens during and after a deployment in a way that children can truly understand.

In the back of the book, you can find “Tips For Helping Kids With Deployment” which is a great resource to have too.

Please visit these links to learn more and purchase a book for your own military children:

Julia Cook

Deployment One of Our Pieces is Missing 

BUT WAIT…

Before you go…they also gave me TWO copies to giveaway to two of my readers 🙂

Enter this giveaway by leaving a comment telling me who the book would be for. This giveaway will run until Tuesday, June 5th, 2018, 11:59 pm.

US and APO addresses only! 

To the National Guard Spouse During AT

by

To the National Guard Spouse During AT

It’s summer! Well…almost. Today is actually the last day of school, so I am calling it. And with summer comes a lot of fun. Time at the pool, sleeping in, BBQs, movies in the park…but summer also brings something big for us National Guard and Reserve spouses…AT. Annual training. The “two weeks a year” part of the National Guard commitment we always hear so often.

To the National Guard Spouse During ATMy husband’s AT has been different every year. The first year he was gone on the fourth of July, for about two and a half weeks. I think he went to Texas or Louisana? It’s hard to remember. The next time he was gone for three weeks in June. It feels like it is different every year, anywhere from two to three to four weeks.

I am in a National Guard Spouse Facebook group, and with summer approaching and many National Guard units leaving for AT or NTC, it is clear, many spouses are not having the easiest time.

AT isn’t something I think too much about during the rest of the year.

I know it is coming, and before he leaves, I always tell myself the time apart won’t be a big deal. That it is just a few weeks, that it isn’t a deployment, and that we have been apart for a long longer over the years.

But the reality is, once AT starts, I go right into solo parenting mode, and none of that is easy. I have to have a lot of talks with myself to get through. I have to stay busy and work hard so that I don’t get too sad about missing having him around.

So, to the National Guard spouse that is missing their love this summer, to the Reserve spouse who wishes time would fly, you got this.

I mean it.

We can do this. We can.

We have done it before, we can get through it all again.

We will figure out what works for us and make it to the finish line.

One of the hardest things about AT is what your spouse is going to miss.

Maybe that is the end of school for your kids and all that comes with it; maybe it is summer traditions like going to the pool the first day it opens, or even missing a big part of the sports season. Whatever it is, it sucks that they have to miss it. You know that just comes with military life, but that doesn’t make things any easier.

AT or NTC can be even harder when you know they are preparing for an upcoming deployment. You know this is just a taste of what life will be like when they are away for longer. And sometimes we might freak out about future time apart. You might wonder how you will get through a nine-month deployment if these three weeks are this hard.

https://soldierswifecrazylife.com/2017/08/21/military-spouse-memes-national-guard-spouses/

The truth of all this is, yes, these three weeks at AT might be a little brutal, but once the deployment starts, you will get into a groove.

This might take a while, but it will happen. This doesn’t mean the deployment is going to be easy, but you will find ways to make it through, no matter how long the deployment might be. And you might even be able to find a good groove during AT.

Don’t assume that how you feel on your hardest day of AT is how you will feel throughout your whole deployment. You might have days like that, but you will also have days where you feel like you are rocking the homefront and can handle anything that comes your way.

So to the National Guard spouse that is wishing their husband or wife was back home, to the Reserve spouse who wants time to fly, eventually, AT or NTC will be over.

They will be home again, and you can get back to your summer.

And in the meantime, make plans, make a lot of plans. Don’t just stay in your house. Take the time to organize a room in your home or to take a trip back home if it works out to do so. Look at these weeks apart as a time to work on yourself and grow as a person. Find other spouses who either understand what you are going through or will be your support as you go through it.

AT never seems to come at a good time. There will always be something that they miss that you wish they wouldn’t. You will always wish that the time apart was a little bit shorter.

https://soldierswifecrazylife.com/2017/08/21/military-spouse-memes-national-guard-spouses/

But in the end, you can use this time for good.

Whether it is working on your house, making memories with your kids, or simply remembering what you love about your spouse.

As National Guard spouses, we might not have a lot of local support but there is plenty of online support, and you might even be surprised at the friends you will make along the way.

Here are a couple of Facebook groups to join if you are a National Guard spouse looking to connect with others:

The Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Community

We have quite the fair share of National Guard and Reserves spouses in my group 🙂

Army National Guard Wives

National Guard Wives

So, if you are getting ready for your spouse to leave for AT or NTC this summer, here are a few things to remember:

  • Stay busy
  • Work on yourself
  • Find new friends (even if they are just online.)
  • Don’t assume a future deployment will feel the same way
  • Make goals
  • You got this!

Here are some of my National Guard blog posts too 🙂

The National Guard Doesn’t Deploy and Other Myths That Are Simply Not True

5 Challenges of Being a Military Spouse Married to a Member of the National Guard or the Reserves

Military Spouse Memes for National Guard Spouses

What are you planning to do while your spouse is away for AT this year? 

The National Guard Doesn’t Deploy and Other Myths That Are Simply Not True

by

The National Guard Doesn’t Deploy and Other Myths That Are Simply Not True

I have been a National Guard spouse for four years now. After years as an active duty spouse, I am very aware of the differences, even if some of them don’t apply to me directly. There are a lot of myths about the National Guard and Reserves life out there that simply are not true.

I think a lot of them are there simply because people don’t know any National Guard or Reserve families or make assumptions based on things they have read or heard about in the media. Whatever the reasons, this post is all about those myths as well as the truths behind them. I asked my Facebook group, and other National Guard and Reserves spouses told me what myths they have encountered over the years:

The National Guard Doesn't Deploy and Other Myths That Are Simply Not True

One weekend a month, two weeks a year

Okay, let’s talk about this. You have probably heard the tagline about the National Guard or the Reserves as being just one weekend a month, two weeks a year.

What really happens? Well, one weekend a month can be anywhere from 1 day to 4 or 5. Usually 3-4 days. So a weekend, plus a day or two.

The two weeks a year is usually more like 3 or 4, sometimes more than that. We are right in the middle of AT season right now, and service members are training for way more than two weeks at a time.

This also doesn’t account for any extra training or schools they might do during the year.

They don’t deploy

Yep, heard this one plenty of times and it isn’t true at all. While it is true that some Guard units haven’t been deployed for some time, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen or won’t happen. Back when we started the Iraq war, I remember hearing about so many of the National Guard units deploying for up to 18 months.

These days, the National Guard deploys pretty much anywhere that active duty might go. Iraq, Afghanistan, Africa, and even Europe. They don’t just stay within their state, they go out into the world, wherever they are sent.

Being in the Guard or Reserves is easier

I will say that our National Guard experience has been easier than our Active Duty experience. But from talking with other spouses, this isn’t true for them or even necessarily the norm. This depends on so many things.

There is nothing easy about being a National Guard or Reserves spouse. There are a lot of things that they have to deal with that active duty doesn’t. There are different ways to serve your country, each other their own struggles.

For some, a typical month would include 50-60+ hours in a civilian job, a drill weekend, and then 50-60+ hours in the civilian job. This is all without a day off in between. Talk about being burned out from work.

40 years for retirement

Another myth is that to receive retirement as a National Guard or Reserve service member is by serving 40 years, double the time it would take an active duty service member. But that isn’t true.

What is true is that your service member will not receive their retirement until they are 60, in some cases 50. And they also will need 20 years of qualifying service. A qualifying year means 50 retirement points. This article, Guard And Reserve Retirement explains more.

The National Guard Doesn't Deploy and Other Myths That Are Simply Not True
That fitness isn’t that important
There is the idea that fitness isn’t important in the National Guard and Reserves, but that simply isn’t true. While a service member in the Guard or Reserves won’t go to PT on a daily basis as active duty does, they still have to maintain standards. They will still have PT tests that they need to pass.

That they don’t miss as much

I am not sure why people have the idea that National Guard or Reserve service members don’t miss too much. They can miss plenty. And it seems like anything important will take place during a drill weekend.

Bosses have to give you the time off, so everything is cool

Legally, your boss has to give you the time off you need to go to drills and training as well as deployment. They can’t fire you because of your military service. However, that doesn’t mean they have to be nice about it. Employers have been known to be quite rude about service members having to take time off.

And when it comes down to it, in some cases, these men and women might have to take vacation days when they do have to go somewhere. This means that they don’t have any left for a vacation with their family. This causes all types of frustrations. While there are good employers that value and respect military service, not all of them do, and that can cause a strain on the whole family.

We get all the same military spouse benefits

There are a lot of military spouse benefits out there for those married to those who serve. However, not all are available for the National Guard or Reserve spouse. Things like the spousal preference for finding a job and MYCAA have limitations that can leave us out. That can be frustrating as you are trying to work on your own career around military life.

The National Guard Doesn't Deploy and Other Myths That Are Simply Not True

We shouldn’t miss them because they are only gone for a few weeks

Another idea we hear is that we don’t have a right to miss our spouses because they are only gone a few weeks. The reality is, missing your spouse is missing your spouse. And when you are not used to something happening, it can make it that much harder.

I have been through a 15-month deployment and AT is still really difficult for me. I like having my husband around on a daily basis, and when he is gone, I miss him terribly.

We also need to remember that since National Guard and Reserves can and do deploy bother overseas and within the US, for months at a time, National Guard spouses, as well as Reserve spouses, are missing our loved ones just like active duty does.

That we have a lot of money

Okay look, how much money a National Guard family makes depends on so many things. It depends on what the service member does for a civilian job, what the spouse does for a job, how often they deploy, and at what rank. In some cases, a deployed service member will bring in more than what they would at their civilian job, in other cases less.

That National Guard and Reserves spouses are not real military spouses

Okay, hearing that as a National Guard spouse I am not a real military spouse is frustrating. And it simply isn’t true. While our spouse’s work hours and time in uniform might look a little different, they are still very much a part of the US military. Please don’t question that, or assume we are less than. We are not.

Are you married to a member of the National Guard or the Reserves? 

PCSing This Summer? These Relocation Tips Will Help!

by

Happy to have a guest post from Charlene Wilde about dealing with relocation! If you would like to guest post on Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life, please visit my Duty Station Guest Post page or make sure to send me an email for more details! 

PCSing This Summer? These Relocation Tips Will Help!

Dealing with relocation this summer? These tips can help.

As many military spouses know, the summer doesn’t just mean that kids are out of school and beaches are open for business. At this time of year permanent changes of station become more frequent and dealing with the challenges that come with relocation is a reality for many military spouses and their families.

With so much on your plate as a military spouse, the last thing you want to worry about is adjusting after a move. As someone who has moved every two years for the past 15 years (with and without children!), here are some tips and best practices to make the transition smoother.

Effectively manage your budget:

Relocation provides the perfect opportunity to assess, and possibly reset, your financial posture. At the core of this is updating your budget. If you have experienced a PCS in the past, learn from what has and hasn’t worked in managing your finances. For example, if you’re moving to a base abroad you will most likely need to purchase a car when you get there. If you move to a city with readily available and reliable public transportation, it might be time to part ways with your car and pocket some additional cash for savings.

In terms of preparing for the move financially, you may be eligible for military advance pay as support. If you use this option, the military service member would be paid an advance of basic pay not exceeding three months to cover non-reimbursable moving expenses. It’s important to remember that this is a loan that you will have to pay back and not simply free money.

Next, consider how much of your budget needs to be allotted to housing in your new city. While you will get a basic housing allowance, be sure to do your own research and determine the cost of living in the area and understand the market. Will you want to rent, or would it be more financially advantageous to buy? This is just one of the important questions you and your spouse need to discuss.

You may also not have the luxury of being able to view a new home or apartment in person. If that is the case, be sure to find a local realtor with knowledge of the military community. Unfortunately, there are plenty of people out there who may not have your best interest in mind or who lack an understanding of the needs of a military family. Use trusted, military-spouse-focused social media pages (like this one) and resources in the area to get advice from those who have gone through the process.

Tap into the military spouse community:

Remember, you are never alone in this journey! As briefly mentioned above, it is extremely important to use the contacts and resources around you to help aid in this transition. While it may seem overwhelming to meet new people, the military spouse community is extremely supportive. Be proactive and consider joining the various spouse groups on base as a way to introduce yourself in-person to a new community and meet like-minded individuals. For example, Family Readiness Groups are command-sponsored groups that allow you to learn more about the new unit and area.

We live in a world that seems to get more digital by the day, so don’t discount the value of making connections online. Spouse groups on Facebook or elsewhere can be great sources of support and vital information to help with your move. Especially as we approach the summer months when many families PCS, there will be a lot of newcomers who may share the same concerns as you.

Keep the lines of communication open:

Whether it is just you and your spouse, or you’re juggling moving the whole family cross- country, it is essential to communicate openly and honestly with the whole family about the changes that are going to take open place. While talking finances may not be the most glamorous topic, there are also other things to consider when you PCS.

If you have children, make sure to talk about the process early and often. This transition can be tough on the entire family, especially as your children switch schools and have to make new friends. Involve them at an age-appropriate level in planning your move. Sit down as a family and highlight what there is to do and see in your new home in order to build excitement. Plan your budget accordingly so that you can enjoy small trips and entertainment once you are settled in order to learn about your new home.

Preparation can make the stress of a tough move much easier on both you and your military spouse. If you stay organized and open to the support and resources provided, you can tackle a permanent change of station this summer with ease.

Charlene Wilde is a veteran and military spouse. She is the Assistant Secretary of AAFMAA, our nation’s longest standing military financial services non-profit and a contributor to Spouselink, a site that informs and connects Military Spouses.