Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Military Life

When Military Life is New

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When Military Life is New

When military life is new, everything thing seems so strange.

You learn quickly that nothing really makes sense the way you think it should make sense. You learn quickly that patience is going to be needed. You learn quickly that some days are going to get you pretty frustrated and there will be nothing you can do about the situation but wait.

And there will be a lot of waiting…

Waiting on orders. Waiting on people. Waiting for something good to actually happen.

There will be a lot of wondering…

Wondering where you will live. Wondering what a deployment will be like. Wondering if this new life will be as difficult as you think it might be.

As you join this new community, you can’t help but meet new people, from all over the country, even from different parts of the world.

You will make friends with some of them, and some of those friends will turn into family, as you get through deployments and separations together, making memories along the way.

You will learn new skills, and apply them to new situations. You will figure out how to get a house ready for the movers with only two-weeks notice. You will figure out how to pull everything together when at first you didn’t think you could.

When military life is new , you can get pretty worried about deployments.

Before your first one, you might assume that being away from your significant other is too difficult. You might assume that you are not strong enough to get through the time away. But you will find that you are strong enough and that you can do hard things, even things you didn’t think were possible.

There will be homecomings and celebrations. You will sometimes think about how different your life is now, and all the amazing experiences you have gained from it. There will be good days and bad ones.

And as one deployment comes to an end, you will feel the confidence that you can do anything that comes your way. There might be bumps in the road, but you will get creative and figure out how to best go forward.

When military life is new, unknown words can confuse you.

You might not know the MWR from the DFAC, but you will soon figure these military acronyms out. At the same time, after 15 years you might hear phrases and you still don’t know what they mean. This is all apart of this life.

You will figure out the right times to go to the Commissary, and how to tip the baggers. You will figure out if the PX is worth shopping at, and what events are worth going to. You will learn about your FRG and decide how much you want to be apart of that.

You will learn about OPSEC and PERSEC and TRICARE. You will figure out what to say and what not to say. What you put out there on social media, especially about a deployment matters.

When military life is new, you will daydream about going off to Europe, and Hawaii and Japan.

You will soon learn that you might end up in Texas, Alabama, and the desert of California. There really are so many different options for a military career. And you don’t always get a say in the matter.

And wherever you PCS to, you will figure out how to bloom where you are stationed, and find the good in a place you might not want to be. You will get to explore places you never thought you would ever go. You will have to leave your comfort zone, but find amazing things when you do.

And when it comes time to leave, to PCS somewhere new, you might not want to go. You might want to stay forever. But you know this isn’t possible and you know it will be time to move on.

When military life is new, you will soon learn how much this military life will surprise you.

From the amazing friends that you will meet!

To the places you will get to go!

To the love you will feel at every homecoming, and all the little moments this life brings.

If you are new to this life, welcome. Being a military spouse can be such a wonderful thing. While some days will be harder than others, know that you have joined an amazing community. Know that you have people to walk this life with, no matter what this life brings.

How long have you been a military spouse?

Twas the Night Before Christmas…Milspouse Style

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Twas the Night Before Christmas...Milspouse Style

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, no one was stirring, except one military spouse.

She knew what tonight was, but wasn’t feeling the cheer, her husband of 12 years was simply not here.

He was serving his country, on deployment #4, she simply couldn’t wait until April, when he would walk through the door.

Her kids were in bed, excited for morning, they didn’t want to go, despite her stern warning.

She looked at a picture, taken last year, when he was home beside her and she didn’t have much to fear.

But this year was different, and he was far away, but she still wanted to try to have a wonderful Christmas day.

She put on some music, and finished her last chore, she loved her sweet family, down to the core.

Christmas was special and a time to love, and she would get through this deployment, with help from above.

Her husband was deployed, and that made her sad, but thinking of her children Christmas morning made her heart very glad.

She turned out the light, and headed to bed, loving the lights of the tree, both green and red.

As hard as it was, she found her inner strength, she could handle this deployment, no matter the length.

Solo parenting was hard, and she hated missing him, but she knew in the end, it wasn’t so grim.

She had her friends, and her children by her side, and would take this deployment day by day even if she sometimes cried.

Because one day in April, would be homecoming day, and she would load up her children in her van, not a sleigh.

And they would head to the gym, where they would need to wait, with the other spouses and children on this very important date.

As a military spouse, we can spend Christmas alone, but we do what we can to warm up our home.

She would spot him right away, standing in the crowd, and when it was time they would run to him proud.

So if you are a military spouse, with your love far away, I want you to know you will get through Christmas Day.

It might not be exactly like before, but Christmas has magic you just can’t ignore.

Merry Christmas to all and know that it’s true, you got this military spouse, you absolutely do.

5 Memes For Military Spouses This Holiday Season

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5 Memes For Military Spouses This Holiday Season

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Season’s Greetings. We made it to the holidays, which feels a little weird. On one hand, the holidays are supposed to be magical, but it’s 2020, so…I guess we have to see how it plays out.

As much as I want things to instantly get better once the clock hits midnight on January 1st, I know, that things might not actually change all that much for us. I have hope that we won’t be dealing with another year of a pandemic, but I just don’t have any idea when our current situation will be over. Sigh. And that’s so hard to think about.

As military spouses, we know that military life doesn’t always have the best timing. There will be years when your spouse will be deployed over Christmas. There will be years when they are home. There will be years when you don’t even have a home as you are PCSing during the holidays, and there are years when you will be able to invite your family and celebrate in the way you want to.

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

Add in a global pandemic, and things feel even more off. Still, I hope the holidays can bring you a little bit of joy. I hope that you can smile at least some of the time. Here are 5 memes for military spouses to help:

8 Memes For Military Spouses This Holiday Season

or California, or pretty much anywhere that refuses to have a White Christmas…TN I am looking at you 😉

Sometimes we have to take a deployment day by day, or even hour by hour. Deployments aren’t easy, but remember….you got this!

I have so been that girl, many times. And it isn’t the Christmas I wanted, but it was the Christmas I got. But at least I had my books.

YES!!! Put that under the tree please 🙂

I don’t know about you, but when I am going through something difficult, knowing I am not the only one going through it helps.

Whatever you do this holiday season, I hope you are able to make memories with your family, start new traditions, and connect together, even over the miles. As you look ahead to the new year, know that you can find ways to make it through anything that comes your way.

How are you celebrating the holidays this year?

Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Interview with Conrad Palmisano, Vietnam Veteran turned Hollywood Stuntman, as seen in the docu-series Faceplant on MillionStories.com

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This past week, I had the privilege of interviewing Vietnam Veteran, Conrad Palmisano. After his time in the service, he went on to become a prolific Hollywood stuntman. Conrad is featured on the series, Faceplant.

Faceplant is a series that shares personal stories from people who discovered the value of failure in pursuit of their dreams. Hearing other people’s stories can be so encouraging, even if they have lived a life so different from our own. We can learn so much from other people if we take the time to listen.

Vietnam Veteran Conrad Palmisano

The Conrad Palmisano: From High School Dropout to Stuntman and Filmmaker episode follows Conrad, who has over 250 credits to his name. We hear about how dealing with being bullied as a young child, the Vietnam War, and the Marine Corps prepared him for future career challenges.

Watch my interview with Conrad as he talks more about his life including some of his favorite jobs as a stuntman, how one decision can totally change your life and lead to better things, and some amazing advice for all of us.

You can check out Conrad’s story and many others in the docu-series Faceplant on MillionStories.com

For the Military Spouse Who Can’t Go Home For Christmas

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For the Military Spouse Who Can't Go Home For Christmas

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

When we first got married we decided that we would switch off each holiday. One year we would spend Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his. Then the next year we would switch.

This worked well for three years. Then we moved and my husband joined the Army and that schedule went out the window. Among other things that changed when we became a military family.

As a military spouse, you sometimes have to let go of what you thought your life would look like. And that includes how you spend your holidays. One year your spouse might be deployed, and the next you could be PCSing from one part of the country to another. Your plans have to be flexible.

This year, however, we don’t have to feel as alone. This year, during a pandemic, everyone is being told to stay put. Everyone is being told to not travel during the holidays. We aren’t the only ones having to change the way we do things during this time of year.

A little bit of the pressure you might normally feel has been lifted, at least for 2020. Maybe you were dreading the long drive back home, or maybe the cost of airline tickets was hurting your pocketbook.

There are many reasons why going home for Christmas can be hard for military families. But at least this year, staying in your own home is more normal. At least this year, it is a lot more understandable to the civilian world why you would not be traveling around the holidays.

During a normal year, you still might feel like you just want to stay in your own home. Your spouse may be deployed, and the idea of traveling across the country with three kids is just too much. You might have just moved into a new home, and want to set up there instead of leaving everything to spend the holidays in someone else’s home.

Not being able to go home for Christmas can be emotional, no matter the reason. And this year, even more so. But even if that is what you have planned to do, you can still feel a bit disappointed by it.

You might miss the way you always got together with relatives for Christmas Eve. You might miss the last-minute holiday shopping you would do with your sister, or how you would bake Christmas cookies with your grandma and cousins.

If you can’t go home for Christmas this year, know you are not alone. So many families are staying local, and not traveling. So many families are having to pivot and change the way they do the holidays.

The good news is, there are so many things you can do from your very own home. Start some new traditions and enjoy the time you have together. Make the holidays the way you want them to be, after all, you are in your own home, and you can do exactly that.

Are you overseas? Try to incorporate some of the traditions from the country you are in. You can then take them back with you when you move back to the US.

Embrace not having to travel during the busiest travel days of the year. Think about how your children will have memories of waking up in their own beds on Christmas morning. We have been doing this for years, and I LOVE that my kids will have memories of waking up in their own homes and coming downstairs to see the Christmas magic.

You can’t always go home for Christmas and that is okay. You can still have a special Christmas filled with happy memories and moments with your own family. And you might find that being in your own home is exactly where you want to be for the holiday season.

Do you usually go home for Christmas? What will you be doing this year?

That Breast Pump Might Just Change Your Life

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That Breast Pump Might Just Change Your Life

This is a sponsored post!

When I had my 3rd little boy, my older two were around 4 and 6 years old. And they were active little boys! Having only two hands, adding that third baby was a bit of a balancing act.

I had one boy in elementary school, one in preschool, and a new baby. I remember that I would sit and use my breast pump in my room, having to be plugged in and sitting down to do so. This meant that I had to make sure my other two boys were safe and entertained elsewhere.

My “baby” is now almost 10 years old, and things have gotten even better for breastfeeding moms. For one thing, you can now get a free breast pump from TRICARE.

That’s right! This is a benefit for all military spouses and military moms.

How does it work?

  • TRICARE will give one breast pump out per “birth event.” What is a birth event? Either a pregnancy, or an adoption of an infant with plans to breastfeed.
  • This is true for any TRICARE plan, from active duty to National Guard.
  • You can get your breast pump in a few different ways, including from a civilian stateside or overseas retail store, or an online store.

The Breastfeeding Shop is one of the best places you can go to get your TRICARE benefit breast pump.

In addition to this TRICARE added benefit, there are now more choices when it comes to what breast pump you want to get, including wearable and wireless pumps.

With a wearable breast pump, you can more easily multitask, not be stuck pumping in one location by an outlet, and you can quite literally pump on the go.

Interested in a wearable breast pump? The Breastfeeding Shop can help you out with that.

The Elvie, Freemie, and Willow are popular wearable pumps. Right now, the Breastfeeding Shop has the Elvie and Freemie avaliable. Here are a little about both:

The Freemie- This pump offers hospital power suction, in a hands-free double pump. The pump is small, quiet, and you can wear the pump under your bra. There is a rechargeable battery and has super light cups so you don’t always have to use a bag. This pump would be $0 out-of-pocket with your TRICARE benefit.

The Elvie-This pump is an amazing wearable pump that fits into your bra. The pump is practically silent, includes custom fitting breast shields, and has 7 settings for suction. This pump does have an up-charge as TRICARE doesn’t pay 100% for luxury pumps, however, the Breastfeeding Shop will have the lowest out-of-pocket costs for this type of pump.

The Breastfeeding Shop also carries plenty of other types of pumps if you are not interested in a wearable one. Sometimes it is best to go with a more traditional pump if breastfeeding is new for you and/or this is your first baby.

A wearable pump can be fun and convenient for moms that would like to have that flexibility. However, the wearables are limited with their size flanges available. So if you do need a specific size flange – they might not have it. That is something to keep in mind when making your decision on what type of breast pump you want to get.

If you take a look at the Breastfeeding Shop’s website, you can see they have a comparison chart of the different types of pumps. When you are ready to move forward, you can fill out their online form to get your pump. You will need to have a prescription from a TRICARE-authorized doctor, physician assistant, nurse practitioner, or nurse-midwife.

I love that this is a TRICARE benefit, as I know being able to have access to a breast pump is very helpful for so many moms. Head on over to the Breastfeeding Shop and enjoy your new pump!

Can Anyone Really Make it as a Military Spouse?

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I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

Can anyone really be a military spouse? Can anyone who marries someone who serves figure out a way to make this work?

I have often believed that no matter who you are, where you came from, as long as you love your service member, you can get through anything. When my civilian friends tell me they could never do what I do, I want to tell them they could if they had married a service member too.

There have even been times in the past, before my husband joined the military when I didn’t think I could do it either.

When most people get married, they assume they will be married until death do us part. Who wants to go into a marriage with divorce as the goal? But the truth is, not all marriages last, and not all marriages can survive the military.

Can anyone make it as a military spouse? That depends.

Some people can get through anything the military life brings them. This should be the goal. Working through stressful situations, working on their marriage, and trying to figure out a way to get through it all.

Some military spouses married their service member years before they joined up. In these cases, life gets thrown entirely on its head when they join. Everything changes and that can be such an adjustment for the service member, military spouse, and children.

For others, marrying the love of their life meant becoming a military spouse on their wedding day, unsure of the adventures, or struggles they might run into in the future. Their new marriage is thrown together with the newness of military life.

In either case, the military spouse can feel like their world is falling apart, that they can’t make it through that deployment, that they are not quite cut out for this life.

I have felt this way myself. I would get to a place where I just didn’t see how I could keep doing this. Where everything was a little too much. Where I didn’t want to do the military life anymore.

But then, I remembered that I did indeed marry a soldier, even if he wasn’t actively serving at the time. I reminded myself that this is a part of who my husband is and that in the end, I can stand by him through whatever I need to. That my love for him and my want for us to be together will be more important than any lonely night or hardship the military comes my way.

That being said, this isn’t the case for everyone.

For some, this life isn’t something they can keep doing. They hit a wall for whatever reason. Sometimes they hit this wall because there has been betrayal in the marriage. Can you truly trust someone across the miles when they have cheated before? Sometimes there is abuse, or the couple cannot work out their difficulties.

The truth is, we don’t always know what other people are going through, we don’t know what happens in their marriage, and we don’t know what they have been through in the past. Compassion is a must.

While going into this life believing you can make it through is a must, know that if you were not able to, that if things did get too difficult, that if you are no longer a military spouse, that you have a right to do what is best for you.

That you did what you could, and that no one should be judging you for doing what is best for your own family. We are all our own people, and we have to make the choices that work for us.

What do you think? Can anyone make it as a military spouse?

A Military Spouse For All Seasons

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It’s fall! As I look out the window I can see the colors of the trees. I love how beautiful the fall in Tennessee is. Watching the leaves change is also a reminder of a new season approaching and the old one letting go.

As military spouses, our lives can be broken up into seasons. At first, we are a new spouse, asking all the questions. Then we become more seasoned and find ourselves offering advice.

We go through seasons of deployment, then reintegration, and then deployment once again. Hoping that we can take what we have learned from the past and apply it to the future. Hoping the next deployment is a little easier, even if deployments don’t work that way.

We go through seasons of pcsing. Our spouse gets orders to a new place. We research and learn as much as we can. We prepare and countdown the days. Then moving day arrives and we travel to our new home.

At first, we don’t know where anything is and have to ask for directions to the PX. But time passes and we find our community. We find our place. Knowing that there will be another PCS again in the future.

We go through seasons of “normal” life when our spouse comes home from work just like other spouses do. We spend the weekends together as a family, and life just goes on. But we can’t completely relax because we know things can and will change again in the future.

We find new friends and get to know one another, getting excited about what we have in common. If we are lucky we can spend years together, knowing one day the military will cause us to have to part. But we cherish the time we have together as much as we can because we know how quickly things can change.

As the seasons change, so do our lives. We might live in the south, soaking up the humidity, and swatting away the bugs, and the next year we will be sitting by a fire in Germany, wondering when the snow will actually melt.

The seasons with our kids change as well. That first deployment we might have babies, and by the fifth one, teenagers. No two deployments are the same and this is one of the biggest reasons why. The seasons of our lives have changed and so do our challenges.

As you go through these changes, remember, the bad seasons do not last forever and through them, there are so many lessons for us to learn. During the easier seasons of life, we might be able to reach out and help others on their own military journey.

If you are sick of your duty station, don’t worry, seasons will change and you will be on the move once again.

If you are sick of a deployment, remember, the days do pass and you will be at the end, and into a new season of them being home.

If you are struggling with your kids, struggling with work, or struggling in general, you can find ways to help. You can figure out what you can do to make life a little easier. And you can remember that this is just a season in your life, and things won’t always be this way.

I know this fall season that I love will pass quickly. One day I will look up at the trees and see most of them have lost their colors. I will start needing a jacket everywhere I go, and might even see some snowflakes. This will be a reminder to me that seasons change in the world, just like they do in my military life.

What season are you going through right now?

The Best Deals For This National Guard Military Spouse

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The Best Deals For This National Guard Military Spouse

This post contains affiliate links!

Christmas is just around the corner, well almost…and speaking of Christmas, it’s October so I really should be thinking about Christmas shopping.

But…I have TWO boys with birthdays before then to think about too. We definitely have a “birthday season” in this house. My husband starts us off in September, then my three boys have birthdays, then Christmas, then mine in January.

We have cake almost every month so I can’t complain!

But back to Christmas shopping. I wanted to share some of the deals I have found that I find interesting. I will keep this page updated throughout the whole holiday, and in our case, (birthday season).

A few things I will be keeping an eye out for are books, OF COURSE! Legos, video games, stuff for the home, decorations, and comfy clothing. I can not under any circumstances buy another blanket. I have gone blanket crazy the last few months, so we are good there. But maybe some new sheets???

So here you go, here are the best deals for this national guard military spouse. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do:

Amazon

We LOVE Legos in this house and this one will be perfect for my almost 10 year old!

Wondering if you should get a Kindle Paperwhite? YES, you totally should. They are 110% worth it if you want an E-reader. I have had one for years and love them so much. Plus, the newest one is waterproof 🙂

These kits are so much for kids who love science and crafting. I am going to get at least one for my almost 10 year’s birthday!

I’m not saying you need an Instant Pot, but I am saying that if you get one you will probably wonder what took you so long to get one. We use ours all the time, from chicken dishes to rice to hard-boiled eggs. There is so much you can do with an Instant Pot.

Have YOU found any amazing deals lately???

The Many Blessings of a Military Marriage

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The Many Blessings of a Military Marriage

I do a lot of reflecting sometimes. I have always kept a journal and I like to think about where we have been as a couple and a family and where we are going.

We have had to make a lot of choices over the years. When to have kids. To move across the country. To join the Military. To buy a house. To stay in Tennessee. To join the National Guard.

Sometimes it is way too easy to look back and think we shouldn’t have made certain choices.  I don’t like to look at my life like that. Is it possible we made bad choices in the past? Yes. Does that mean the rest of our lives are messed up? No.

One of the biggest life-changing choices we made was for my husband to re-enlist in the Military at age 30. This was something that we talked about for months beforehand. We had no idea what his time in the military would be like once we made that decision.

We were diving into the unknown. While my husband had been in the Army before, that was when he was a lot younger, and way before I came into the picture. Being a soldier with a wife and child was going to be completely different for him, and becoming an Army wife was going to be totally different than anything I was used to.

As I think back over the last 15 years as a Military spouse, there have been many blessings in our marriage because of our time as a military couple.

Don’t get me wrong. Would I have preferred to have a husband who never had to go away? Perhaps, but that wasn’t how life has been for us. 

As I look back over those 15 years, I can see that there are blessings in a Military marriage.

Homecomings can be the highlight of our Military experience. The feeling you get when you see your spouse again is hard to explain unless you have been through a homecoming. Knowing that the months of waiting and worrying has come to a close and knowing you will finally be back in each other’s arms can be the spark that your marriage needs.

Watching your spouse in their uniform can be inspiring. You know they are doing something good in the world and you are there to support them through it. You and your spouse are a part of history, working to make the world a better place. There is just something about feeling that way that can help your marriage thrive.

Deployments can help your relationship to grow even stronger. You start to appreciate one another in ways you never would have if they never had to go away. You constantly remember why you fell in love in the first place. You learn to trust one another across the miles.

But also, never be afraid to reach out for extra help if you don’t feel that way. Different couples handle distance in different ways. There are many resources out there to help too.

PCSing every few years can also be a challenge, especially if you have to PCS to a place you don’t want to go. But there is also something about moving together, having to work through those struggles together, having to be the “new person” together, that can bond you together in many different ways.

While the day to day of military life can feel so heavy sometimes, there are blessings of a military marriage. From growing stronger through the distance to being able to discover more about yourself which can lead to becoming a better partner.

If you are new to the military life and are worried a bit about your marriage, keep in mind that there are blessings of a Military marriage. As hard as the military lifestyle might be, they are there if you look for them.

How do you feel that the Military has blessed your marriage?