Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Military Life

The Top 10 Takeaways From Military Family Lifestyle Survey

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This post is sponsored by Blue Star Families!

Have you heard of the Blue Star Families Annual Military Family Lifestyle Survey? This survey provides a comprehensive understanding of the experiences and challenges encountered by military families. It is a yearly snapshot of the state of military families.

The data from the survey isn’t just to share with military families, it is also there to help change things for the better. It helps to inform national leaders, local communities, and philanthropic actors. It helps increase dialogue between the military community and broader American society, minimizing the civilian-military divide and supporting the health and sustainability of the all-volunteer force.

Blue Star Families conducted its 10th annual Military Family Lifestyle Survey from May through June 2019. They had over 11,000 respondents, including active duty service members, veterans, National Guard, Reserve, and their immediate family members.

The Blue Star Families Annual Military Family Lifestyle Survey is the largest and most comprehensive survey of the military and their families.

There is a lot of information in the survey, so I wanted to highlight the top 10 takeaways based on the top trends and findings for 2019.

Military families act to offset the impact of relocation on their children’s education, an issue that continues to be a top-five issue of concern for respondents.

Military families have concerns around family stability and dependent children’s education. Some are either turning to homeschooling, or voluntary separation from their service member.

Availability and affordability of childcare are barriers that negatively impact service members’ pursuit of employment and/or education.

Not being able to find or afford good childcare is making it difficult to pursue employment or educational goals.

Military spouse respondents who are unemployed indicate their top challenge to working is service member day-to-day job demands making it difficult to balance work and home demands.

A service member’s day-to-day job demands is a top barrier to employment among military spouses. Top barriers do however differ when children are present.

Three-fourths of employed military spouse respondents experience some degree of underemployment; this issue persists among spouses of veterans.

77% of employed military spouses and 68% of veteran spouses report at least one circumstance of underemployment.

Potential impacts on a service member’s career is the most common reason for not seeking treatment for active-duty, National Guard, and Reserve family respondents who had seriously considered attempting suicide/had attempted suicide in the past year.

40% of military, veteran, National Guard, and Reserve family respondents, who had seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, and received help after the most recent incident, did not find it helpful and 8% couldn’t find that help at all.

Families enrolled in the Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) report difficulty obtaining specialty medical care in a reasonable amount of time after a relocation.

40% of military family respondents who have an EFMP Family Member are unable to obtain a referral and be seen by a specialist in a reasonable amount of time after relocating.

Military family respondents caring for a child with special needs report their community does not have all the resources their family needs.

More than a 3rd (36%) of military family respondents feel like their community doesn’t have all the recourses their family needs.

National Guard and Reserve families feel local civilian support agencies are not effective in addressing their needs.

Nearly one half of National Guard and Reserve families feel their local civilian support agencies are not effective in addressing their needs.

Military and veteran family respondents who perceive that civilians in their local communities have greater military family lifestyle competence feel a greater sense of belonging to that community.

40% of military family respondents don’t feel a sense of belonging to their local civilian community.

The majority of military families have a positive experience with their children’s schools but identify improvement opportunities related to the Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunity for Military Children.

The majority of families with school-aged children report their oldest child is thriving at school, but feel schools can improve.

Please take the time to head on over to Blue Star Families and download the survey results. There is a lot of information there, and it would be helpful for any military family member to read the results and learn more about the military community in general. Knowing what the struggles and frustrations as well as about what is going well for the military community is important.

On Supporting Your Spouse’s Military Career

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On Supporting Your Spouse's Military Career

Military spouses all come from different places. Some met their spouse after they were already in the Military. Others started the journey together after a few years of marriage.

Some met, married and became a military spouse all within the same year. Ask any group of spouses about how they became one and you will find there are a lot of different answers.

One thing is clear. No matter when you became a Military spouse, you want to do what you can to support your service member.

But how do you support your spouse’s military career if you are frustrated with the Military life and want something different? What if your career is on hold because of military life but you don’t want to wait anymore? What is the best way to support them when life gets in the way?

When it comes to the Military, some people join for just a few years and others make it a career. Some service members don’t know what they want to do when they start.

Some service members want to go career and decide not to, others want to do a couple of years and then end up going career.

The main thing is figuring out what your service member is thinking, what will work best for your family as well as a general plan of what the next few years will look like. For my husband and me, when he joined, it was for three years, then we would readjust and see where we were at.

Keep in mind that things can change when it comes to military career plans.

There are a lot of people who wanted to make it 20 years but had to get out for different reasons. Things change and the whole family has to adapt. This can also be extremely difficult for the service member and the spouse.

Keeping the line of communication open is very important. There is a BIG difference between a soldier who wants to be in for the rest of his career and one that is getting out in a couple of years. They have different goals and should make different plans.

You need to know where your spouse stands. If the Military is something they have always wanted to do, if they have signed up and working towards promotions, you need to be able to be there for them.

If you enjoy Military life and your spouse really wants to get out and do something else, stand by them too. Be there and work together to come up with a plan for after the Military life.

The most important thing, military or not, career military or one enlistment, is that you are on the same page and support one another.

This isn’t always going to be easy, but it is something we military spouses know too well. And as times change, it will get easier and easier to be able to accomplish your own goals, right along with your service member spouse.

In today’s military, military spouses work full-time, they go to school, they work from home, and they work hard for change when there are roadblocks.

Being married to a service member, unfortunately, means you will have to sacrifice something.

Maybe you assumed you would be raising children down the street from where you grew up, but now your spouse just got orders to Germany. Maybe you assumed that you would stay at the same company for years, but then the love of your life felt they needed to join the military, and all that changed. Maybe you never thought you would have to say goodbye to your spouse for months at a time, but that is exactly what military life has brought you.

The reality is, supporting your service member isn’t always going to be easy but there are little things we can do to show we care. From care packages, to love letters, to simply being the person back at home they can count on.

Be open with your spouse, check-in with one another, and be the one they can count on during military life.

How have you personally supported your spouse’s military career over the years?

9 Times You Just Have to Laugh During Military Life

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9 Times You Just Have to Laugh During Military Life

When faced with a difficult situation, sometimes the only thing to do is laugh. Sometimes during military life, you will feel like what you are going through is so ridiculous, that you can’t even get upset. Plus, laughter really is the best medicine.

Here are 9 times you just have to laugh during military life:

1. When your spouse gets orders to a place you said you never wanted to go.

If you have ever said, “I just don’t ever want to be stationed X,” and then the military gives your spouse orders for X, you just kinda have to laugh. And maybe not say that again in the future. They are listening.

2. When you make friends in the strangest places

You are probably assuming you are going to go out there and make friends through your kid’s soccer team, or even the FRG meeting. But sometimes, we make friends in the strangest ways. From connecting with another spouse who has also been waiting over an hour at the doctor’s office, to someone who is from your home state, who you instantly connect with just because of that.

3. When you accidentally hand the gate guard your credit card

If you haven’t done this before, you probably will eventually. And when you do, hopefully, your gate guard has a sense of humor and makes a funny joke about your mistake. Then you can share with your friends and laugh together.

4. When the homecoming date gets changed so many times, you just give up and hope they are home before your next birthday

It’s so hard when the homecoming date gets changed but at some point, you just have to laugh. Dear military, get things together and bring my spouse home already! Thanks!

5. When people think your life is just like the show Army Wives

No, nope, no, no, no. Just like any show based on any career path, say Grey’s Anatomy, things are pretty much only sorta true sometimes, and usually very wrong. Now you can let the person now how different military really is.

6. When you told someone you could never do a thing and the military makes you do a thing

There are so many times this has happened to me. From PCSing overseas to going through another deployment. At one time I even said that I could never solo parent. Truth is, you can do more than you think you can. That’s how we get through military life.

7. When your friend from Fort Bragg becomes your friend at Fort Campbell

This is a fun experience to laugh about. Sometimes you might make a friend at one duty station, and then surprise, five years later, they can be your friends at another. In some ways, your service member’s branch isn’t as big as you think it is and you can be reunited with people you really love. Thank you Military!

8. When people ask when you will be able to visit home again

Hahahaha…if only they knew how hard that was. Between deployments, a PCS, and the cost of airfare, it’s hard to know if and when you can visit. Plans always seem to change and nothing is certain until after the fact. Maybe it is better if your family comes and visits you?

9. When things work out the way they are supposed to

One time, my husband’s R&R was changed, and I had to cancel a trip to Walt Disney World. On the other hand, that meant his R&R was over our anniversary and we were able to plan an amazing anniversary trip. I couldn’t believe how it worked out. You almost have to laugh that everything worked out the way it did. Although I am still waiting to go to Walt Disney World, so…

I hate being stressed out all the time. And yet, that is my natural reaction to a lot of what happens in the military life. That is why I think it is important to laugh when you can. Laugh at the little things, laugh at the big things, and work towards a more balanced life.

What makes you laugh about military life???

How to be a Military Spouse With Boundaries

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How to be a Military Spouse With Boundaries

I recently saw a post on Facebook that talked about how you can still be a good person and say no, and that you are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm and I loved it.

So many times, we as military spouses, get to a place of extreme burnout. We are simply taking on too much. And while I think there is nothing we can do about being the only adult in the home for months at a time or putting up with different military life challenges, we can control our boundaries and what we allow in.

I try so hard to avoid burnout. I don’t like the feeling that I have taken on too much. When I do that, I find myself way too stressed out and that isn’t good for anyone.

Boundaries are important for everyone. They can keep you grounded, and allow you to live your best life. They can help you stay calm in an otherwise stressful time in your life. Here is how to have them as a military spouse:

Say no

It’s okay to say no sometimes. I know, that can be so hard to do, but saying no sometimes is necessary. Saying no can be necessary to our physical, emotional, and mental health. Saying yes to everything just because we are asked is a quick way to become overwhelmed with everything.

Remember, you aren’t meant to solve everyone’s problems

Helping other people feels so good, and there are so many chances to do so on a daily basis. But remember, you are not solely responsible for everyone’s problems. You can lend a listening ear, or even direct them to a place that can help. You don’t physically have to do everything for them. That is just too much for one person to take on.

You can be picky about your friends

You are going to run into all types of people in your daily lives. Some of them you will get along with and some of them you won’t. That’s life. You might have a coworker that gets on your nerves or a long-time friend who doesn’t respect you.

A part of having boundaries is recognizing that you don’t have to be close friends with everyone. You can be respectful of other people, without having to let them into your personal life. You can be choosey when it comes to who you spend your free time with.

Remember, saying no to one thing means saying yes to another

One of the most important things about boundaries is that by saying no to one thing, you can be saying yes to another. There are only so many hours in the day, and you can’t say yes to everything. Think long and hard about every yes you give. You don’t want to say yes to something you really hate when that means you will have to say no to something you really love.

That being said, you will have to say yes to things you don’t want to do all the time, especially if you have kids. But even with that, choose your best yes, and what works for your family. Saying no sometimes will free up time to say yes to things that are most important to you.

Following these tips can be difficult sometimes. Saying no isn’t always easy, even if you really want to. But having some type of boundaries in your life can make things a little easier, especially when you add in challenges that come with military life.

If Current Events Have You Worried, Here is Something You Can Do to Help

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If Current Events Have You Worried, Here is Something You Can Do to Help

Telling our stories is one of the most patriotic ways we as spouses and family members can support our service members.

My spouse is active duty Air Force, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve been on edge all month. Ever since our military activity started ramping up earlier this month – it’s a scary time to have a loved one in the armed services! 

I know I’m not the only one feeling this way. Families across the branches are in a place of uncertainty and anxiety. Will my service member deploy? How will this deployment look different from previous ones? When will they come back?

To an extent, we’re used to this. After being at war for 19 years, we know the routine. But this? This feels like it could go very differently…

Amid our fear of what’s to come, it’s easy to feel helpless. Like there’s only so much I can do compared to all that pushing against me. All these top-level decisions about military actions and troop movements feel high-up and out of our reach.

But we military spouses are not helpless. We are powerful. And we have an opportunity to make an impact.

One of the most important things we can do as military spouses and family members is to tell our stories, because we know better than most the consequences that wars abroad have here at home.

For us, wars come with missed birthdays and expensive post office receipts. Sleepless nights and meltdowns in the grocery store. Loneliness and emotional homecomings. 

People get that war comes with violence. How many movies have been made about the front lines? But what people don’t see is the perpetual anxiety of the families back home, or the single-parenting of the spouse holding it all together. That’s a story that’s missing. 

Think about it this way: Our nation’s leaders rely on having the most complete and accurate information at their disposal to make the best decisions possible – right? Well, our lived experiences as military families is part of that. We are the ones who feel the trickle-down effects of decisions to go to war, and our story-telling helps them see the big picture.

So, if you’re looking for a way to channel your frustration and dread into meaningful action, I’ve got the perfect place for you: the Secure Families Initiative.

We are a nonpartisan group of mil spouses who are interested in getting more involved in advocacy around the foreign policy issues that affect us most. I started this program because, personally, I think this kind of stuff is way more fun when you do it as part of a community.

SFI offers trainings for folks who want to get involved, but may not know where to start. We also have opportunities to take direct action if you’re ready and yearning to go! We even offer information about voting – how to register, where to find your polling place, and what candidates/issues will be on your ballot. There’s something for everyone.

Sign up for SFI today and join a tightknit community of mil spouses taking action. It’ll be a great way to ease whatever anxiety you have, and take a bit of control back when it all feels very much out of our control.

Remember: doing something – no matter how small – may feel inconsequential, but when we all work together, we can make a huge impact.

By Sarah Streyder
Director of the Secure Families Initiative
https://securefamiliesinitiative.org/

The Best Lessons a Military Spouse Can Learn

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The Best Lessons a Military Spouse Can Learn

As we are getting close to the end of this decade, I decided to go into my Shutterfly account and try to organize my photos a bit more. As I was looking through older photos I came across one from Thanksgiving 2012.

I think my husband was home, but we got together with a bunch of friends and their kids and looking at that photo brought back so many memories. Of time with this circle of friends. A group that slowly fell apart because of one move or one PCS after another.

I am actually still here, and everyone else has moved on but it really made me think about what we go through as military spouses. I thought about all the lessons we can learn during our time as a military spouse. It really made me reflected on how I have grown as a person over the years since my husband re-joined the military so many years ago. I’m sure many of you can relate 🙂

Friendships Won’t Stay the Same

I love having a friend circle. A group of other women I can talk with, vent with, and depend on. A group of other people who get me.

I am so thankful I have found this during my years as a military spouse, however, my friend circles are always temporary. Always. Sure, I am still friends with those people, we keep in touch for the most part, and follow each others lives.

But it will never be the same as it was when we all lived in the same town, or when our husbands were all deployed, or when we all had two-year-old boys to entertain, just trying to figure out how to get through the day.

Time moves own, PCSing happens, and we figure out how to say goodbye and go forward.

And that is just apart of this military life. A part that is hard to take sometimes. A part that will stop you in your tracks as you remember a fun memory or a time when you were all together.

I also know that those memories will always be with me. I will never forget the Space-A trip we took together when our husbands were deployed, the late-night shopping on Black Friday, or just the simple day-to-day moments of getting together to let the kids play.

I still value these friendships even though the miles separate us. I still think about these women, even if we never talk anymore. And I always have hope of finding new friends along the way. Not to replace the old, but to add to my life experiences.

Homesickness Can Hit Hard

I haven’t lived at my parent’s house full time since I left for college over twenty years ago. I still get homesick. I still have moments where I think for a few minutes about how I could move back.

Wherever you call home will probably always call to you in some way. Maybe it is your family, and all the fun you have together. Maybe it is the warmth you feel every time you visit your hometown. Maybe it is just longing for a place that is so imprinted on your heart, you know you will never truly let it go.

I always wanted to move away from home. I always wanted to see other places and experience different ways of living. But there is still apart of me that can get pretty homesick sometimes. It doesn’t last too long but the feeling is there.

You might be ready to take on the world. You might be living in Europe or Japan and know how exciting it is that you get to do so. And you might be hit with homesickness all the same. Hitting you in the face when you least expect it too.

I think this is just another part of military life we military spouses can experience. We are the family that doesn’t live there anymore. We can feel like the outsider. And those emotions aren’t always easy to deal with at times.

Making our new duty station or city feel like home is key. Even if we know we will only be there for a few years, we can figure out ways to connect to our community, and enjoy what is before us.

Deployments Can Be Good For Us

I never wanted my husband to deploy. The deployments were never at the right time…and always seem to throw a wrench into the plan for my life. However, in someways deployments were good for me.

I learned how to be more independent whether that meant taking care of two toddlers by myself or learning to mow the lawn and other chores I otherwise never would have done.

I figured out that I am stronger than I think I am. I figured out that I could do things that I never dreamed were possible. And that if I have to do them in the future, I can handle what comes our way.

I learned how I can truly be a good friend to a struggling military spouse and how to let people help when I was the one in need.

Deployments can be too long and make you just want to cry but they can also help you grow as a person. I will always be thankful for that.

Plans Change And That’s Okay

How many times have plans changed for you as a military spouse? Maybe you went through an unexpected deployment or a PCS to a place you never thought you would end up. Whatever it is, you start to get used to things always changing in the military.

I really learned this during our 15-month deployment that was at one point only supposed to be 9 months, then later 12. I learned this when I was told it would take just about a month to join my husband in Germany and we had to wait 4.5. I learned this when he deployed for the 3rd time and we weren’t sure if he would be gone for 5 months or over a year.

Things change all the time and nothing can feel predictable. But…sometimes these changes end up bringing us to a better place. Sometimes these changes lead us to places and people we never would have imagined. Sometimes these changes were exactly what we needed in our life.

This isn’t to say that every time the military changes its mind we should be happy about it. It’s okay to be frustrated but it can also give us an opportunity for growth and change that we never would have had otherwise. A chance to embrace something a little scary and see where that might lead.

What lessons have you learned as a military spouse this last year?

Don’t forget to check out The Newbie’s Guide to Military Life: Surviving a PCS and More by Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life and Mrs Navy Mama. Your guide for learning about military life.

New to Military Life? You Need This Book!

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The Newbie Guide to Military Life
Hello my dear friend! It is so good to have you here! We are so excited to share this amazing resource with you!
I want this AMAZING RESOURCE!

Let me lay a scenario out for you. Your SO is packing, getting ready for your family’s first deployment. You help gather the necessities, packing that bag to its maximum ability and checking off the packing list. They are leaving for months…months…You didn’t want to think about it. They are leaving in the morning and your mind is going a hundred miles per hour. What are you going to do with your time? How are you going to stay SANE?

After all, you have been told that deployment is “normal”.

Then you try looking at the LES, and note that the SDGI is higher than you thought and you wonder why you are getting BAS, BAH or COLA. Plus they are going TDY OCONUS soon and probably should just GOBach but you are trying to decide if you should PCS along with them…

Wow…

Speaking of PCS, should you do a DITY or a PPM move? How are you going to find the best pediatrician, dog park (can you even move your dog?) or should you even get on the waitlist for on-base housing? What about finding new friends and a support system? As a NEW MILSO, all of these situations can come into your mind. 

And you may be wondering how to find the answers to your questions!

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Having a spouse as a member of the Armed Forces, it likely doesn’t take you long to figure out there’s a whole lot about military life that can be downright confusing. Many times we have wanted to scream, or throw our hands up and just run away.

That is why we created this guide! This guide focuses directly on you as a new MILSO and gives you some insight into some of the more frequently asked questions. Whether you are male or female, with kids or without, we all have questions when we begin this military life. 

Does This Sound Like You?

  • Feeling alone in military life?
  • Confused by all the acronyms?
  • Experiencing your first deployment?
  • PCSing for the first time?
  • Is TRICARE stressing you out?

Then you need this guide!

I’m EXCITED!

No matter what you are experiencing as a new MILSO, this guide is here for you—like a best friend pushing you along on this new journey! Look through the chapters and print-ables to give you some simple yet helpful insight, tips and tricks as you navigate.

Noralee and Julie hope that this guide will give you the confidence to begin and steps to take in order to make your years as a MILSO the best you can! Because as we have learned over the years, sometimes the hard way, military life will continue to surprise you, but with the right information you will be able to not only survive, but THRIVE! 

Hear What Other MILSOs Have to Say!

“Julie and Noralee have, once again, gone above and beyond for military spouses. Their MILSO 101 book is perfectly titled, a summary of key basics any military spouse or significant other might want to know. Whether it’s deploying, moving, or just finding your footing in your new military life, Julie and Noralee give you things to think about, actions to take, and provide their typical style of realism and comfort. Even after 15 years in military life, I found some nuggets. I appreciated their checklists and an appendix of resources and links, divided by chapter, making it incredibly easy to locate additional information on topics covered.”

-Jen Pasquale, Founder of Pride & Grit

“I so wish I’d had this book when I first became a Navy wife! Even now, seven years later, I learned so much! Whether you have questions about deployment preparation, where to live, a PCS or even how to see the doctor, Noralee and Julie have your back! In true military spouse fashion, these ladies have a wealth of knowledge and a heart for sharing it with others. I cannot recommend taking advantage of their experience enough!”

-Rachel McQuiston, Owner and Chief Care Package Maker, Countdowns and Cupcakes

“Where WAS this book ten years ago!?  Encouraging, informative and insightful- “The Newbie’s Guide to Military Life” is the gift I wish I had for myself as a brand new military spouse.  It’s also the gift I plan to give to those I love as they begin their own military spouse journey.  Noralee Jones & Julie Provost have taken what you can only learn through years of experience and distilled it into a single resource.  This guide would have saved me untold hours of research, frustration, trial and error.“

– Becky Hoy Founder, Brave Crate

Included in this guide!

  • 10 Chapters based on the most frequently asked questions from new MILSOs
  • Handouts and worksheets to supplement chapters and bring solutions!
  • Resources list with links and specific posts broken down by topics
  • Guide for Acronyms, PCSing list, and more!
  • PLUS a guest handout from Rachel with Countdowns and Cupcakes!

Let us help you journey from confusion to confidence as you navigate the first few years in this new life. Read it from cover to cover or take it one topic at a time as they come up. This guide is perfect for personalizing to your needs! 

Don’t Delay! Grab Your Copy Today!

Get Your Book Today!!!

And don’t forget to visit my amazing co-writer, Noralee, at MrsNavyMama and sign up for my mailing list for even more military spouse support!!!

The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need

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The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need

I received a free box for review!

I love getting mail!

I especially loved getting mail when my husband is deployed.

Just something about getting a package in the mail makes me happy and puts me in a happy mood.

If you haven’t already heard about Brave Crate, you will be in for a happy surprise. Brave Crate is a box just for military spouses going through a deployment. How awesome is that?

If you sign up with Brave Crate, you will be getting your very own package in the mail once a month. Not only that but this package is made just for a spouse going through a deployment.

What’s In Each Brave Crate Box?

  • An intro to the month’s theme with tips and tricks from other military spouses
  • A beautiful calendar to track your countdown
  • 4-6 full size products to help you set goals, focus on wellness and support your marriage
  • One challenge card inspiring you to work toward purpose during deployment
  • Access to monthly webinars, challenge groups and interviews through our online community

I just received the latest box and wanted to share it with you. As you can see the box is filled with some amazing goodies.

The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need
The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need
The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need
The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need
The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need

Opening that pink box is always such a fun surprise!

How much does Brave Crate cost?

The box is $33.99/month for a 6-month subscription. Shipping for your box is only $6 no matter where you are! Brave Crate also offers monthly and 3-month subscription options.

I really think Brave Crate is such a great thing to have during a deployment. I really wish I could have ordered them during all of our deployments. Check out some of their past boxes and see the variety they provide, month after month.

Are you interested in a Brave Crate box? If so head on over and sign up, use the code SWCL and receive $5 off your first box!

You will be glad you did 🙂

When Military Life is New

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When Military Life is New

When military life is new, everything thing seems so strange.

You learn quickly that nothing really makes sense the way you think it should make sense. You learn quickly that patience is going to be needed. You learn quickly that some days are going to get you pretty frustrated and there will be nothing you can do about the situation but wait.

And there will be a lot of waiting…

Waiting on orders. Waiting on people. Waiting for something good to actually happen.

There will be a lot of wondering…

Wondering where you will live. Wondering what a deployment will be like. Wondering if this new life will be as difficult as you think it might be.

As you join this new community, you can’t help but meet new people, from all over the country, even from different parts of the world.

You will make friends with some of them, and some of those friends will turn into family, as you get through deployments and separations together, making memories along the way.

You will learn new skills, and apply them to new situations. You will figure out how to get a house ready for the movers with only two-weeks notice. You will figure out how to pull everything together when at first you didn’t think you could.

When military life is new , you can get pretty worried about deployments.

Before your first one, you might assume that being away from your significant other is too difficult. You might assume that you are not strong enough to get through the time away. But you will find that you are strong enough and that you can do hard things, even things you didn’t think were possible.

There will be homecomings and celebrations. You will sometimes think about how different your life is now, and all the amazing experiences you have gained from it. There will be good days and bad ones.

And as one deployment comes to an end, you will feel the confidence that you can do anything that comes your way. There might be bumps in the road, but you will get creative and figure out how to best go forward.

When military life is new, unknown words can confuse you.

You might not know the MWR from the DFAC, but you will soon figure these military acronyms out. At the same time, after 15 years you might hear phrases and you still don’t know what they mean. This is all apart of this life.

You will figure out the right times to go to the Commissary, and how to tip the baggers. You will figure out if the PX is worth shopping at, and what events are worth going to. You will learn about your FRG and decide how much you want to be apart of that.

You will learn about OPSEC and PERSEC and TRICARE. You will figure out what to say and what not to say. What you put out there on social media, especially about a deployment matters.

When military life is new, you will daydream about going off to Europe, and Hawaii and Japan.

You will soon learn that you might end up in Texas, Alabama, and the desert of California. There really are so many different options for a military career. And you don’t always get a say in the matter.

And wherever you PCS to, you will figure out how to bloom where you are stationed, and find the good in a place you might not want to be. You will get to explore places you never thought you would ever go. You will have to leave your comfort zone, but find amazing things when you do.

And when it comes time to leave, to PCS somewhere new, you might not want to go. You might want to stay forever. But you know this isn’t possible and you know it will be time to move on.

When military life is new, you will soon learn how much this military life will surprise you.

From the amazing friends that you will meet!

To the places you will get to go!

To the love you will feel at every homecoming, and all the little moments this life brings.

If you are new to this life, welcome. Being a military spouse can be such a wonderful thing. While some days will be harder than others, know that you have joined an amazing community. Know that you have people to walk this life with, no matter what this life brings.

How long have you been a military spouse?

When You Are New, After a PCS

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When You Are New, After a PCS

Your flight got in late, so by the time you got to the post hotel, you still didn’t have a good idea of where you now were. Where you would call home. Your next duty station.

You have seen photos and heard stories. Both good and bad. But this PCS has made you nervous and you aren’t sure all what to expect. 

As you wake up the next morning, you suddenly remember something you forgot to do before you left your last duty station. However, it doesn’t matter, you have moved on to the next place. This is your reality now.

You go out with your spouse and kids, go exploring. You might have to wait for housing and just hope that wait isn’t too long. The hotel is okay but the thought of having to stay there for a while makes you kinda hyperventilate. Especially with little kids.

You get things sorted out. You find the PX. You find the Commissary. Things are so different than your old post, how will you ever find your way around?

Days pass and you are still at the hotel but housing tells you only a few more days. Your kids are getting restless, your kids are getting anxious and so are you. You just want to get to your new house.

Your son wants to know when they will see their best buddy again and your daughter is confused about everything. She is only three and you are not sure she will even remember this move. You are not sure what your kids will remember about all of this. 

A few more days pass and then it is time to move in, to your new home. You question if living on post was the best choice, you just don’t know. You question if accepting this house was the right choice, or should you have waited for something else? 

Well, the choice has been made and it is time. Time to get to know the place that will be yours for the next few years. The place you will put your belongings and make yours, even with the white walls and tiny kitchen.

As you move your things in, you find your kids exploring too. You hope and pray the kids in this neighborhood are nice. You hope their parents are too.

Time goes on and you still feel so new. You had to ask someone where the MWR was, for a second time, you just can’t seem to remember. You worry you will never figure it out.

More time goes by and although some people have been friendly, you haven’t made any friends yet and you wonder what to do. Should you join that book club you have seen advertised? Should you take your kids to MOPS? It all feels a bit overwhelming.

More time goes on and you start to get used to the routine again. Everything has been unpacked, your kids are making friends and you are starting to find some of your new duty station’s hidden gems.

But still, you feel like the new girl, not sure how to find your people. Not sure of your place here. Not sure what to do next.

You miss your friends, you miss your people. You used to have a solid group. People to hang with, people to have fun with, people to get through deployments with.

But then, when you aren’t even noticing, you find yourself fitting in more and more each day. You are making friends, and finding your place. 

This new duty station is becoming your home. And your previous one is becoming a memory. And you have some hope that this move is going to be a good one, even though it took you a while to get there.

Just like everything else you have experienced in military life, you figured out how to make it through this PCS. To get to the other side. To get past the stress and the emotions of a move and a new home.

While you know that you will have to do all of this again in a few years, you hope that you can remember what you learned from this PCS. You hope that you will remember that as hard as saying goodbye is, there will be hellos in your future. You hope that you will remember that although so much of the move is stressful, a PCS is a good time for a new start, and a time to thrive in different ways than you have done before.

How many times have you moved with the military?