For the Military Spouse, When The Deployment Begins
When the deployment orders come, and the bags start getting packed, we watch, we cry, we understand that this is what they signed up for.
To leave, to deploy, to go too far away and do what they are trained to do.
When the deployment begins, we start the countdown, we think about the days ahead, we find ways to power through.
We look at our children, we know this will be hard for them too, but we power on, we know this is what we have to do.
We know that deployments don’t last forever, but we also know that the days between saying goodbye and hello again will always seem too long.
We may have been through a deployment before, but that won’t make this deployment any easier.
When the deployment begins, we hope that this time we won’t have as many breakdowns.
That this time we will figure out the right mix of busy, and that we will get through better than the last time.
We know that we have friends we can depend on, but we worry they won’t truly understand. What if this deployment is the one that breaks us? What if even a friend’s hug and a friend’s ear won’t be enough?
We hope that we can help others because we have been through this all before. But we also know that we will have our share of difficult days, that doesn’t stop just because this isn’t the first time we had to say goodbye.
When the deployment begins, we start our daily prayers.
Worrying that they won’t be enough. Worrying that nothing we can do can ensure they will come back when they are supposed to come back.
We try not to think about all that. We try to think about how brave our spouse is and how amazing life can be to be married to someone who serves in the military.
We are proud of them. Proud that they signed up. Proud that they will deploy. Proud that they put on the uniform to help protect our country.
When the deployment begins, we walk around our home, knowing that everything from their smile to their dirty laundry will be missed during the next few months.
We know that this deployment is just one of our struggles. That this deployment isn’t coming at a good time, but we also wonder if there would ever be a good time for us to say goodbye for nine months.
We understand why they have to go, sorta. Not everything makes sense, but we know that there is a mission and a reason for them to have to go where they have to go.
We make plans with friends, we join groups, we stay busy. We do this because we know how much it works, we do this because we have to.
When the deployment begins, we walk around in a fog, but thankfully that only lasts for a couple of days.
We soon figure out how to carry on, how to get up and get moving, how to find ways to thrive, even in the mist of surviving.
We plan care packages, we write love letters, and we plan for the future.
We think about after the deployment, when things will be normal again, and then wonder how normal they will be after yet another deployment.
When the deployment begins, we don’t have any idea about how we will grow during this time apart.
We hope that we can become stronger so that in the future this won’t be so hard.
We know that even if we do become strong through this deployment, that we will always struggle when we say goodbye to our husband or wife.
We know that starting a deployment is never going to be easy.
When the deployment begins, life can seem upside down.
We now have a new normal to figure out. One that won’t be easy. One that might not even make any sense.
We can work hard to keep things the same, especially for the kids. But this doesn’t always work, you know there is something missing.
We can do our best to stay positive through everything, but some days we will just want to cry, and we need to remind ourselves that crying is okay to do sometimes.
When the deployment begins, we can look ahead at the time apart and take advantage of what it has to offer.
We can work on ourselves, we can work on our hobbies, we can go to school, we can start a new job, we can do so many things that might be harder to accomplish when they are home.
We can find the benefits to this situation, even though a deployment has plenty to get upset about.
We tell ourselves that we are going to kick Murphy’s law to the curb, and then laugh because of how crazy things get anyway.
When the deployment begins, we have the choice to make plans to make it through or walk away.
We might not know how we are going to handle this, but we know that we want to because we love our service member and as a military spouse we know this is what we have to do.
The truth is, to get through a deployment, we need to figure out what works for us.
We can make lists; we can make plans, we can figure things out so that the days will go by and we can deal with whatever comes our way.
If you have just started a deployment, think about everything you would need to help you get through. Reach out to other spouses and find people to depend on. Know that you are not the only one feeling like you are feeling right now. Deployments can be rough. But you will be able to find ways to get through, even if you have to take things one day at a time.
Looking for more deployment blog posts?
That day we found out what was going on with our son, and how we could help him. My biggest fear when we started the testing and doctor’s appointments was that they would come back and say they couldn’t see anything was wrong. Why? Because I knew something clearly was and I knew getting that diagnosis would help us understand how we could help our son.
