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35 Things Military Spouses Are Thankful For

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35 Things Military Spouses Are Thankful For35 Things Military Spouses Are Thankful For

Every Thanksgiving you probably get asked what you are thankful for. For some families, this is a tradition where you go around the table and say what that is before you get to eat. A lot of answers are God, family, husband, kids, job, etc. All of those are great answers but let’s go further than that. What are military spouses thankful for? Sometimes it is the little things that matter the most.

  1. DONSAs- When our spouse gets a 4 day weekend. Yay!
  2. Short deployments- All deployments are hard, shorter deployments end sooner.
  3. Trips back home- Time to see our family and friends!
  4. Free events on post- Because free fun is good fun.
  5. Good friends- Ones we can count on.
  6. Good neighbors- They make our own home that much better.
  7. Husbands who only work 12 hour days- Because in the military, days could be even longer than that.
  8. Magical moments- Like that time you were able to take your kids to see a real life castle.
  9. Homecoming day- Because it is the best day ever!
  10. Block Leave- The wonderful time when your spouse is all ours for weeks at a time.
  11. R&R-The most romantic time during your marriage and a break from a long deployment.
  12. Promotions- Because it is nice to see your spouse move up in his career.
  13. Good FRGs- Yes, they are out there.
  14. Nice housing- Because you want to love where you live.
  15. Long phone calls- Because they don’t always happen.
  16. Homecoming date- That hopefully won’t change.
  17. A new journal- The best way to get all of your stress and worry out.
  18. A new book- One you have been waiting for to come out for months.
  19. A canceled deployment- When you think they might be gone and then they don’t have to be.
  20. Re-enlistment bonus- Pay off some debt and buy a new car.
  21. Military discounts- So you can take your kids somewhere you might not have been able to.
  22. PCS orders- You know you have been waiting for those forever.
  23. End of Drill weekend- My Guard/Reserve spouses know how great that is!
  24. When things don’t break during deployments- Because you know they are supposed to.
  25. Our man in uniform- Need I say more?
  26. Seeing old friends again- Isn’t it great when an old friend gets stationed where you now are?
  27. Getting an appointment in a timely manner- You might just have a love/hate relationship with Tricare.
  28. Going to a ball- You thought dances would end with your prom.
  29. Meeting someone famous- Because famous people like military installations.
  30. Knowing people are praying for you. Because you need all the prayers you can get.
  31. Forming a friendship bond that will last forever. Because of what you have been through together.
  32. Friendsgiving- For when your spouse is away or when you just can’t go home for the holidays.
  33. Free childcare- A lifesaver!
  34. Christmas leave- Two weeks off from military life, doesn’t happen all the time but I will take it.
  35. Knowing we are a part of an amazing community– Priceless!

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving???

Where Two Hearts Meet by Liz Johnson

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  • I was provided a free book for review and this post does contain affiliate links! 

Where Two Hearts Meet by Liz Johnson

I love reviewing Liz Johnson’s books. Her latest, Where Two Hearts Meet, came out in October of this year. This book is the 2nd book in her Prince Edward Island Dreams series and such a great read!

From Amazon:

In her kitchen at the Red Door Inn, executive chef Caden Holt is calm, collected, and competent. But when her boss asks her to show off their beautiful island to impress a visiting travel writer and save the inn, Caden is forced to face a world much bigger than her kitchen–and a man who makes her wish she was beautiful.

Journalist Adam Jacobs is on a forced sabbatical on Prince Edward Island. He’s also on assignment to uncover a story. Instead he’s falling in love with the island’s red shores and Caden’s sweets.

When Caden discovers Adam isn’t who she thought he was, she realizes that the article he’s writing could do more than ruin the inn’s chances for survival–it might also break her heart.

Readers will discover hope for the hurting, joy for the broken, and romance for the lonely at the enchanting Red Door Inn.

I loved Caden’s story! She is cute and you can watch as she and Adam fall for one another. Adam is a writer and was in Afghanistan. Caden is a baker and everything she makes sounds so yummy.

The book takes place back at Prince Edward Island with the Red Door Inn. You will recognize some of the characters from the first book in the series and it is great to hear what is going on with them since the last book.

I liked how Caden has to work through her insecurities that a lot of us might be able to relate to. Adam has some issues he is dealing with too. I am looking forward to more books in this series with the famous island as the backdrop.

Liz Johnson is the author of seven novels, a New York Times bestselling novella, and a handful of short stories. She has lived in Nashville and now calls Arizona home. To learn more, visit her website. You can also read the other books I have reviewed of hers in the past.

You can purchase Where Two Hearts Meet on Amazon!

What have you been reading this week???

5 Reasons Why Military Spouses Need to Vote

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5 Reasons Why Military Spouses Need to Vote

This post isn’t going to be about who to vote for, it is going to be about why military spouses need to vote. We need to get out there and make our choice because we are just as important as any other American voter.

Whether we vote in the state we grew up in or the state we now call home. Whether we send that ballot in from overseas, from across the country, or make plans to visit our local polling place on election day. Whether we call ourselves a democrat, a republican, or if we are not sure what side we are on and wish we didn’t have to pick one.

Here are 5 reasons why military spouses need to vote:

1. Voting is our right– There was a time in American history when not every American could vote. That right had to be fought for and people died over it. Just 100 years ago, women could not vote.

I can’t sit back and ignore that, I just can’t. Voting is my voice. Sometimes my vote might not seem to matter, I am not in a swing state and my state is going to go one way, the way they always go, but I still vote.

I believe voting matters, all of it. Whether I am picking the new President, the new Governor or voting on wine in a grocery store. I want a say.

2. We pick the next CinC- As military spouses, who the next Commander-in-Chief is should matter to us. This will be our spouse’s boss, the head of the military and that should matter. While we spouses might not see eye to eye on who should have that role, we should do our research and figure out who we think would be the best as our country’s next commander-in-chief.  

3. Congress- Beyond the next President, we are also voting for members of Congress. These people influence what happens in the military. From pay raises to Veterans benefits.

The fact is, who we elect into the Senate and House matters. Do your research on each of the candidates. Don’t just listen to their ads.

Find out how they have voted in the past. Figure out who stands for what you stand for. Then let your voice be heard on election day.

4. Local votes matter- Your local votes matter. If you vote locally you will be voting on the mayor, the school board, the city council, and issues that affect the community. This is important. Whether you have children or not. Whether you still live in the area or not.

Sometimes who is locally in charge is going to have a bigger impact on your life than who is living in the White House. As military spouses, you might not live where you vote. You might not want to change that.

However, registering for where you live can be a good choice, especially if you are going to be there for a while. You then get a say about the schools and the community where you are currently calling home.

5. To become more aware- As military spouses, being aware of what is going on in the world today is so important. Locally and globally. What is going on in Washington and throughout the whole country is important.

When you vote, you get to be apart of this. You can spend your time researching and going beyond what you hear on the news. You can talk to people who are working for change and you can learn more about our country’s history and where we have been. Voting puts you into history and that is a great way to show you care.

I am not telling you who I voted for, I don’t want you to tell me who you voted for but I do want you to vote! I want you to use your voice and know that although it might seem like you are just one of many, your military spouse voice matters and as a military spouse, you should be voting this election season.

Share a Cup~A Coffee Date with my Veteran

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This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of The Folger Coffee Company. The opinions and text are all mine.

Share a Cup~A Coffee Date with my Veteran

My husband and I are big coffee drinkers.

 

https://ifttt.com/myrecipes/personal
We have spent many mornings and afternoons drinking coffee together, talking about our day or whatever else is on our minds. There is something about that cup of awesomeness that makes for sitting down, relaxing and enjoying one another.

I have always enjoyed hearing about his time as an active duty soldier. I remember when he told me about the group of guys he was deployed with during his first trip to Iraq. How going through the long 15-month deployment bonded them together, just like it did us spouses back at home. How in some ways they became family and would always have that bond. He has shared some stories about funny things that happened during that deployment, in the middle of the stressfulness that comes with being in a war zone.

After four deployments, having that time to talk together is so nice. Time to talk about us, the kids and everything we have been through. We also enjoy talking about the future, our jobs and what we hope to accomplish in the next few years.

Since we spent so much time apart during his active duty years, we never want to take time together now for granted. As our kids are getting older, spending that quality time together gets even easier. We can sit out on the porch and talk or just sit and enjoy each other’s company.

My husband left the active duty military in the summer of 2014. Sometimes it is hard to believe it has been almost 2.5 years since that day. During that time he and I have tried to figure out what our post-Army world is going to look like. He wants to find his place in this civilian world and we need to figure out how we can both make a living in order to raise our boys.

Leaving the military is never easy and can take a lot of planning and discussing. During our coffee talks, we bring up where we see our family in the next few years, what are goals are and the best way to get to them. Being able to talk like that helps me know that we are on the same page and that we are working towards the same things.

Thinking about where we have been and where we are going is exciting. Life can be funny and you never really know how everything is going to work out. I am enjoying being on this road of life with my husband and going through everything we go through together.

Veterans Day

With Veterans Day approaching, we need to be going beyond a simple thank you to our Veterans. Sometimes Veterans can be a little uncomfortable with hearing, “Thank you for your service,” over and over again. We need to be recognizing them and listening to their stories, no matter when they served. We should also be sharing stories of the Veterans we know in our own lives. They all have a story to tell. About how they came to be a service member and what they are doing now that the Military part of their lives is over. Asking a veteran about their time in service is a great way to show that you care.

Folgers and Walmart have the opportunity to inspire shoppers to go beyond the customary “thank you” by illuminating Veterans in the local community and encouraging meaningful moments that bring people together.

Share a Cup~A Coffee Date with my Veteran
 

Folgers and Walmart have a very special “Share a Cup & a Story” promotion going on right now. They want you to take the time to listen to the Veterans in your life. To spend some time listening to their stories and to hear what they have to say. We can all learn a lot from what the Veterans in our lives and community share with us.

I am excited to be working on this post for Folgers and to share a little bit about me and my Veteran.

Walmart is the place to shop for Folgers coffee!

Share a Cup~A Coffee Date with my Veteran
Walmart has quite the selection of Folgers coffee!

The other day we went to Walmart and I bought “Classic Roast.” One of our favorites. We always make sure we never run out of coffee and Walmart is a great help with that. You can find Folgers coffee at your local Walmart in the coffee aisle.

Head on over to Walmart and learn more about the Share a Cup & a Story program!

Do you share stories with your veteran over coffee? What is your favorite morning drink?

Share a Cup~A Coffee Date with my Veteran
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Every Veteran Should Be Allowed To Vote With Access To Polling Places

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Every Veteran Should Be Allowed To Vote With Access To Polling Places

This is a sponsored post. All opinions are my own! 

fb-4Voting Matters

We are deep into election season and as a military spouse, woman and American, my vote is important to me. Voting is my way of being a part of the process and allowing me to have a say in my own government. Voting is something that every US citizen has a right to do.

I remember one of the very first times I was able to vote. I was in college and I had to go to a home where they had set up voting booths in their garage. I remember doing this with my Dad when I was a child and now it was my turn. My turn to make a choice and be a part of the election process. I was able to walk into their garage, go into the booth and vote just like everyone else that was there.

A lot of Americans don’t have to think twice about where they are going to vote. They know where they need to go and do so on election day, however, for some Americans, this isn’t possible. Americans with disabilities including Veterans and paralyzed Veterans can have trouble getting to the polls and voting. Whether it is because there is no way for them to get into the polling place or because it is impossible for them to physically vote because of how the voting booths are set up.

Laws to protect the voting rights of Americans with disabilities.

The good thing is that laws do protect the voting rights of Americans with disabilities. The Voting Accessibility for the Elderly and Handicapped Act of 1984, the National Voter Registration Act and Help America Vote Act of 2002 (HAVA) have all allowed those with disabilities a better chance at getting to the polls to vote, however, there are still challenges.

In 2008, only 27% of polling places were accessible to people with disabilities.  46% of polling places had an accessible voting system that could pose a challenge to certain voters with disabilities. For example, those with wheelchairs could not use the voting stations.

A report by the National Council on Disability called the “Experience of Voters with Disabilities in the 2012 Election Cycle” found that 40% of those who responded to the questionnaire had encountered physical barriers at their polling places. 45% reported barriers inside the polling place involving voting machines.

54% of people with disabilities reported barriers to voting in the 2012 elections.

There are even more barriers for those with disabilities and getting to vote. From parking to having to wait in a long line to voter registrations can all make it that much harder for people to vote.

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What We Can Do

It’s so important that every American, every veteran, every person is able to vote. That they can do so even with a disability. So what can be done to help? What can we do to change things? What can you do if you have a disability and are worried about being able to vote this election day?

To start, you can sign the petition with Paralyzed Veterans of America to add your name and join them in the fight toward protecting voting rights for every American. You can also get a Voter Access Toolkit with 5 free valuable resources:

  1. Get a guide to voter registration
  2. Find out tips for voters with disabilities
  3. Know the facts about available voting methods
  4. Learn about polling place access – from parking to ramps to entrances
  5. Find out how to file a complaint if you have polling place problems

Let’s work together to make sure all Americans are able to vote on election day!

What You Can Do When Your Spouse is Not Home For the Holidays

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What You Can Do When Your Spouse is Not Home For the HolidaysWhat You Can Do When Your Spouse is Not Home For the Holidays

Fall weather, pumpkins everywhere, sweaters, peppermint mochas and Christmas decorations appearing in the stores. Tis the season for the holidays. Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, Hannukah and New Years will be here soon and with them come a lot of memory making moments. Time with family, time together and a lot of love.

However, if your spouse is deployed, the holidays take on a different tone, especially if they won’t be home until sometime in the new year. There is so much going on and when they are gone, you know they are going to be missing all of it. You know your kids will be missing their Dad a little bit more during this time of year and when you think about years past you can’t help but tear up thinking about what they will be missing this year.

In 2008 my husband deployed on Thanksgiving day. The worst time to start a deployment. We celebrated early which was smart but he still missed Christmas and everything that goes with that holiday season. He missed decorating, carols, the boys opening their gifts, the holiday meal and making memories with us at home. I took photos and videos but nothing could change the fact that he was in Iraq during that time, missing us and missing home.

What is the best way to handle your spouse being deployed for the holidays? You can’t change the fact that this will happen when you are a military family. The best thing to do is figure out ways to get through that time and to make the best of what you have anyway, no matter where in the world your spouse might be.

Here are some ideas to help you if your spouse is deployed during the holiday season:

  • Perceptive- Sometimes we get so caught up in what our spouse is missing or how long they have been away that we forget that this deployment is only temporary. That the deployment has an end date and that this is just one year out of all the years we will spend together. Taking a step back and thinking about this can help you during this time of year. Thinking about what you do have is also very important. Know that you are loved, even if it has to be across the ocean for right now.
  • Make a Plan- See what you can do to make some plans for the holiday. How will you spend Thanksgiving? What about Christmas day? Look for events in your community and stay busy! That will be a good way to get through the next few months and make memories even if your husband is away. Take the kids to see Santa, see if you can help with a Thanksgiving meal, plan a day trip to the snow or just invite people over for a New Year’s Eve party. 
  • Find Friends- See if there are others with a deployed spouse that you could get together with. If you are close with someone and feel comfortable doing so, make plans to spend the holiday together. I have done this with Thanksgiving and Christmas. Spending your day with others can help you enjoy all the fun memories without feeling as sad and lonely as you normally would.
  • Plan a Trip Home- You can always plan a trip home. There is nothing wrong with doing this. The holidays are a great time to be with family so why not plan a trip if you can? If not, see if family or a good friend will come visit you. In some cases, you just have to tell them that you would otherwise be alone for the holidays and someone will want to come stay with you.
  • Breathe- I know it is hard. I know it sucks. Holidays should be spent together, right? Sadly, this just isn’t a reality for a lot of military families. Remember to take it easy, don’t put pressure on yourself to have the perfect holiday and remember to breathe.

Have you had a deployed spouse during the holidays? How have you been able to get through those weeks? Any great ideas that helped you through?

Here are some more posts from other Milspouse Bloggers about getting through the holidays without your spouse…

Fun Ideas When You’re Spending the Holidays Apart

When “Home For The Holidays” Isn’t an Option

Gift Ideas for Your Deployed Loved One

How to Survive The Holidays When Your Spouse Is Deployed

The Holidays For 1: Tips to Survive the Holiday Season Alone & Far From Home

The Wives Who Wait (A Christmas Poem for Military Wives)

Facing the Holidays During Deployment

I heard the bells: when Christmas isn’t about family

 

17 Reasons Military Spouses Are Rocking Military Life

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17 Reasons Military Spouses Are Rocking Military Life

17 Reasons Military Spouses Are Rocking Military Life

There are so many challenges that military spouses have to go through during their spouse’s career. From deployments to trainings to moving every 3-4 years. It can be way too easy to think you are not handling military life well. The truth is, most of us spouses are actually rocking military life. We are dealing with a lot and we do the best that we can to get through each day. Whether you are brand new to this life or have been a military spouse for many years, what you do, how you stand by and support your spouse, it matters.

Here are 17 reasons why Military spouses are rocking military life:

1. We are there for each other- We are there to listen to other spouses that are having a bad day, we are there for those that need a little extra help with the kids or just to be that friendly face that lives down the street. We support one another because we get this life and what being a military spouse is all about.

2. We volunteer- Whether it is for the school, the FRG, the chapel or anything else in our community, military spouses step up and make things happen. We serve in our local communities, on post and off.

3. We listen- We can be the listening ear someone needs. Sometimes we have been through what they have been through, other times we haven’t but we can still be someone they can confide in.

4. We explore- We plan adventures. We get out and see what is in our new city. We fly across the country to see our families, without our spouse. We plan trips to see things we would never have otherwise seen had it not been for the military. We have seen the US and the world and we enjoy making all those memories.

5. We say goodbye, over and over- We do this because we have to, not because we want to. Deployments happen, trainings happen and we say goodbye to the love of our lives. This never gets any easier and yet everytime we do it we feel a little bit stronger.

6. We pray for those deployed- We pray for our spouses, their Company, their Unit, their Brigade and all the men and women who serve. We pray for their spouses and mothers and fathers and siblings. So many people need to be supported when someone they love goes off to war.

7. We write- We blog, we write books, we write love letters, we write in journals. We get our words out, whether we share them with other people or just keep them to ourselves.

8. We work hard- We do what we have to do to keep things going. We work hard at what we do. Whether we work outside the home, inside the home or a combination of both. We make to-do lists and look for ways to get things done.

9. We are mom and dad- When our spouse is gone, we try to fill the role of both mom and dad. We know we can’t replace the other parent but we do what we can to help our children and keep things running smoothly.

10. We plan great homecomings- We make signs, pick out cute outfits and plan for that big day. The day we will always remember and the day that will always make us smile, no matter how many years have gone by.

11. We are proud- We are proud of our spouses and everything they have done. We are proud when they deploy, we are proud when they get promoted, we are proud that they signed up to serve their country.

12. We know how to make the best of a bad situation- When life gives us lemons, we might cry, we might vent but at the end of the day, we make the best of a bad situation. We get through these difficult days because we find ways to get through them. We know they are a part of the military lifestyle and we do what we can to handle each and every one.

13. We have patience- We might not feel like we have a lot of patience but we do. From dealing with Tricare, paperwork to go overseas or just waiting for that homecoming day.

14. We love our spouses from afar- We love them from across the ocean, we love them when they live in our phone and computer and we love them as they return to us and have to figure out how to handle the difficulties that come after going to war.

15. We can laugh- We can make jokes about how long the lines are at the Commissary on payday or how something so simple can take so long to get done. We have to laugh at these situations sometimes, the only way to get through them.

16. We know how to connect- We move a lot so we know better than anyone how to make new friends, how to connect and how to find people that understand us. It might take longer than we like sometimes but we are committed and work hard to find people that can be a part of our tribe.

17. We understand sacrifice- We understand giving up a lot for the sake of our country. We look at the military spouses that came before us and know we are not alone. We understand what true sacrifice is and what it means to serve your country.

Military Spouse Life

If you are not feeling strong as a military spouse, take a step back and see that you are in fact stronger than you think. That you are capable and that you are rocking this military spouse life.

On ETSing and Getting Out of the Military

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On ETSing and Getting Out of the MilitaryOn ETSing and Getting Out of the Military

ETSing, this stands for expiration – term of service. An ETS date is the last day of the service member’s contract. ETSing can happen for many different reasons. A service member might choose not to re-enlist, they may have to get out for medical reasons, the service member is going to retire from the Military or when they are forced out earlier than they had planned.

My husband went through ETSing in 2014. Almost 2.5 years have gone by since that day and we have been working towards our new after Army normal ever since. My husband is still in the Army, he joined the Guard the day after he got out of active duty. We also still live at our last duty station. Because of this, we are still a military family, can still shop at the Commissary and can relate to a lot of what Active duty families experience.

However, there are differences. We pay for our Insurance, we are not always included in everything Active duty is, my husband usually puts on his uniform once a month, we will not be PCSing anytime soon and we would not be allowed to live on post here.

Over the last 2.5 years, we have had to navigate these post-active duty waters the best way that we know how. There have been moments when I have wondered if he should have stayed in. There are times I am glad he did get out when he did. There are also a lot of emotions that you go through when making this change.

If your spouse is going to be ETSing soon or you guys are talking about going that way, you will need to prepare yourself a bit. Life after the military isn’t a picnic. Life after an ETS can be very stressful. However, for a lot of people, ETSing is the best choice. Whether they have been serving in the active duty military for 3 years or 20.

Here are some things to think about when you ETS:

  • Finding Their Place- After being in the military for many years, finding a place in the civilian world can be difficult. Some military jobs work well outside the military and others are harder to transition from. Finding your place after the military can take longer than you think it might and won’t happen overnight.
  • Where to Live- You have a big decision to make before your ETS. Where will you live? If you live on post, you will have to move. If you don’t, you could stay, but would you want to? You and your spouse will need to talk about your options and where you want to be.
  • Medical Worries- When you leave active duty, your insurance is going to change. This can be a big difference from what you are used to. From having to pay a certain amount per month to paying more when you go to appointments. Ideally, one of you will have a job with good insurance but that doesn’t always happen. As much as a headache Tricare can be, you will probably miss it when it is gone.
  • Jobs- Finding a good job after the military is important. If your spouse that is leaving the military can find a good job right away, that is great but the job search can be difficult for some people. Even after finding a job, it might not be the right one and can take a while to get there. Looking for jobs before the ETS is a good idea and can help your service member have a more smooth transition once they do ETS.
  • Missing Active Duty- After your ETS you and your spouse might start to miss parts of Active duty life. This is true even if you couldn’t wait until they got out. The lifestyle, the regular paychecks, the security, etc. Saying goodbye to all of that can be difficult. After some time you will get more used to being away from the Military. Give yourself some time and know it is okay to mourn leaving the military after you have moved on.

Getting out of the military is a big transition. You will have to get used to your new life. Just like when you first started this military journey, it will take some time and patience before you figure out how that post-military life is going to look and how everything is going to work out.

Will you be ETSing soon? What are you most worried about?