Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Military Life

Weekend in Santa Claus, Indiana

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This past weekend we drove up to Santa Claus, IN for a wedding.  We have some friends that live near there and also got to see a few friends from California that were visiting for the wedding.  It was such a great weekend.  We were able to spend a good amount of time with our friends and catch up a little bit.

We stayed at Santa’s Lodge which is right by Holiday World.  It was a cute little hotel.  It wasn’t as dressed up in Santa stuff as I thought it could have been but it worked well for us.  They had an indoor pool we got to use on Saturday morning with a hot tub.  The reception was also at the hotel so that made it really easy for us.  They also gave us a military discount of $10 off a night.

What places have you been for a quick weekend away?

 


Santa's Lodge
10 Month Old

7 year old

Santa Claus, Indiana

Santa's Lodge

Santa's Lodge

 

Painting the House

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Picking out Paint at Home Depot

One thing about our new house is that all the walls were a weird gold/orange color.  We knew we wanted to paint every room.  We started on a Thursday.  Went early to buy all the paint and got going right away.  We finished on Sunday afternoon.  We still actually have to paint the stairs/hallway and our bathroom but we 1) Ran out of paint 2) Are not sure what we want in the bathroom 3) Needed a break from painting.

Behr Paint from Home Depot

We started with the upstairs rooms.  Our two older boys share a room and we went with a pretty blue in there.   The baby’s room was going to be green but I changed my mind and decided to go with a bright blue.  I would like to have the room be blue, lime green and orange and slowly working on that.  For the office, we went to Scotland Yard which is a light green.  I love it.  So calming and soothing.  For the bathroom, we went with Cool Dusk, a darker blue.  I found a cute Monkey shower curtain so we are going with that theme so far.

Painting Our HouseAfter we finished the upstairs we started on the downstairs.  For the Master bedroom, we went with a dark green.  Not sure I was going to like it but after 10 days here I am loving it.  Still need to find some new bedding and another decor to match it.  For the living room and hallways, we went with a  pretty shade of green.  I just adore it!  I am so happy with this color.  The kitchen is yellow which I have always wanted.  It was the hardest color to paint but worth it.

I knew it was going to be a lot of work but so glad we did decide to paint what we did.  We are so much happier with the colors that we got to chose.  Not only does it look better in our opinion but it is nice to know WE got to pick all the colors.  The house is personalized for us, not some other family.

Can I Really Make it Through This Deployment?

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Can I Really Make it Through This Deployment?

Can I Really Make it Through This Deployment?

I was looking through some of the keywords that people use to come to this blog and “Can I Really Make it Through This Deployment?” came up a few times.  I want to tell these people that although it does seem hard, you can make it through.  The time before they leave can be really difficult.  You wonder what it will be like, if you can do this time alone, if you can parent alone if you can handle him being in a war zone, etc.  It is hard to know exactly what to expect, even if you have gone through one before.

You never really know how you are going to feel or what the deployment will be like.

Each one is a little different.

There have been times during all of our deployments that I just wondered how I would make it one more day.  I felt burned out and just done with everything. But somehow I was able to pick myself back up and get on with it.  Sometimes it was because of a lot of prayers, other times it was getting together with a friend and sometimes I would even have to give myself a pep talk.  A lot of tears might have been shed but that is how I got through the deployment.

I think we try to be strong and don’t think we can ever cry about what is going on.  We even hear people say we shouldn’t complain.  But some days you just have to break down. You just have to let everything all out before you can move on to the next day.  It is ok to have a bad deployment day, to have ice cream for dinner, to cry to a friend. This is all a part of getting through the months or even years alone. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Each of us handle this type of things differently and just because a friend never seems to have a bad day, it doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t.

So to those of you afraid for your first deployment and think you won’t be able to make it through, if you love your husband, if you are committed to him, then you will.  You will be able to make it through.  You will get through the X amount of months and come out stronger on the other side. You will. Sometimes it might feel like you are just getting through one day at a time. The days can feel long and frustrating. That is all apart of your journey. Try to remember that deployments don’t last forever and you will be reunited with your spouse once again and the whole crazy thing will be over. You will get to homecoming, I promise. You will be back in his arms and the deployment will be a part of your memories, for good or for bad.

What advice would you give to someone facing their first deployment?

 

* this post contains affiliate links!

Advice For Your First Deployment

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Advice For Your First Deployment

Advice For Your First Deployment

My next guest post is by a friend of mine, Jess.  She was the very first Army wife I met when we started this Army adventure. She was also my FRG leader.  I asked her to write about advice she would give someone who was getting ready for their first deployment.  Our first deployment was in 2006 and Jess was there to tell me a little bit of what to expect so I just knew this would be a great post!  Thank you Jess 🙂

Stressed? Emotional? Perhaps even a bit stand-offish? Sounds like you’ve got a deployment coming up. The bad news is your Soldier is leaving. The good news is you aren’t alone!

There is no specific way to handle a deployment, especially your first deployment. Some people take it all in stride and seem to brush off the hardship. Others seem to physically break down the second their Soldier marches away. Still others seem to change entirely and don’t seem to return to normal until their Soldier is back in their arms again. No matter which category you find yourself falling into, remember this: You are STRONG. You are CAPABLE. You CAN do this!

Just as parenting a child has no actual guidebook, deployments don’t come with magic spouse field manuals. However, let’s not speak that phrase too loudly. I’ve seen some pretty crazy things put into FM’s before. The greatest way to make it through the hardships of a deployment are to simply listen to your heart, listen to other’s advice and pray. If you feel overwhelmed, talk to someone! Believe me, there are a lot of us out there who are willing to listen and lend a hand (or a shoulder) when necessary. Don’t be afraid to ask.

One of the greatest things you can do for yourself is to set personal goals.. You don’t have to get crazy with it; the point of a goal is to be able to accomplish it. Set mini-milestones throughout to ensure you stay focused and on-target. A big favorite that I’ve seen is weight-loss/healthier lifestyles. Say you set a goal to lose 25 pounds throughout the year. Remember to start off in small increments, and celebrate each 5 pounds you are able to lose. This is a great way to have something realistic to look forward to in a relatively short time! The greatest part is-IT’S ALL YOURS! It’s very easy to lose yourself in the constant stress during a deployment. Don’t forget that your Soldier still needs you just as much as you need him/her. Take care of yourself, even while supporting your deployed loved one.

If I could offer just one last bit of advice, it would be to stay busy and not forget that the world is still going round. It’s very common to feel bad about going out and having fun while your loved one is away, but remember, you need your personal time as well. It’s ok to go catch a movie with the girls, or secure a babysitter for a few hours of pampering at the salon every now and again. You are HouseHold 6. You keep the home fires burning. You can’t take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself first. Make yourself a priority, especially while your loved one is away. Don’t lose yourself to the chaos and stress, and always reach out if you need help. You follow a long legacy of the Silent Ranks. You can do this!

 

 

Financial checklist for soon to be deployed military members

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My next guest post is by Matt Polsky from the VA Benefit Blog.  He is going to be talking about how to prepare financially before going on a deployment.

Financial checklist for soon to be deployed military members

Horror stories of soldiers accruing debt while serving are far too numerous.  Financial preparation could lessen the nerves of the moment and save money for both the service member and his or her family. However, how does one save? And what are some last minute tips for soldiers with no emergency fund?

Things to Do Before Deployment

Military members could save a lot of money while deployed. They could even potentially end with more money than they started. How?

  1. Create an emergency fund. It is extremely difficult to put money aside. However, everyone should try their best to throw a few extra dollars every week into the bank and forget about it. This is the most effective way to meet emergencies and life-changes head on. Try paying yourself first, aim to deposit 8-10 percent of your paycheck and try to forget about it until an emergency arises.
  2. Start researching what creditors offer military members on duty. Some creditors have military discounts and forbearances. Call them to find out what a military member can do in the case of deployment. Many of them will have an answer. However, some will not want to offer any leniency. In that case, all service members leaving for active duty should utilize the protections provided under the Servicemembers’ Civil Relief Act. The law protects military members from financial burden. They can eliminate or lower income tax, credit card debts, mortgage payments and rent while on duty. For members with families, the law gives them peace of mind because banks are not allowed to evict or foreclose on a home while a service member is on duty. This law still requires the military member to give the bank or property owner and other creditors proper notice of deployment.
  3. Making small decisions lead to big savings. For example, store the car away and do not let anyone use it. Insurance companies will lower plan rates for a car not in use. Not to mention, a stored car runs no risk of repair or damage if it is not being used. Another way a small decision could save money—suspend cell phone coverage. Many mobile providers can suspend your coverage and let you keep your same number for up to 18 months and reactivate the phone upon your return. This makes perfect sense for soldiers who regularly use online phone services such as Skype as well as prepaid phone cards and email to communicate with their family and friends back home.
  4. Obtain legal protection of finances. Assigning a trusted Power of Attorney to manage accounts and budgets could help to limit big spending and protect from theft or loss while gone. It would be a nightmare to come back only to find an empty bank account.

It is important to make sure family and friends are on the same page about the actions taken to protect funds. Assure them of insurance coverage as well as the protections under SCRA. Be strict about spending and the use of personal property while away. Taking the above precautions will leave one with money in the bank as opposed to substantial debt.

Matt Polsky is a blogger associated with VA Benefit Blog, a blog focused on providing veterans and service members with current news and information on the benefits they have through serving our country.


Dinosaur Deploys

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My next guest poster is Laura from Military Word of Mouth.  She has a great idea for kids to help them through a deployment!  I know my boys would have loved something like this 🙂

Lately, I have been going through things trying to get rid of some stuff to prepare for our next move. Probably, pretty soon our landlady will be calling to let us know that someone is coming over to see the house to potentially rent for next year. While going through a bookshelf, I found one of my son’s photo albums from last year.


It’s just a small 4″x6″ album that I found at Walgreens for like a $1.00, but to him it was priceless. You see it contains photos of his dinosaur on an adventure, and not just any adventure, but an adventure with his daddy. When my husband deployed last January, my son gave my husband one of his dinosaurs to hug whenever he missed him.

So, my husband took pictures of the dinosaur on his deployment adventure and would send them to my son either by email or by snail mail.


I can not tell you how much my son loved this, but when he saw the pictures, his face would beam. He even asked if he could bring the album to show and tell to share with his friends at preschool.

Having a parent deployed is such a hard concept for a young child to understand and accept. This is such a simple way to help ease their pain, if only for a bit. If your spouse is deploying shortly, ask your child if he or she would like to share one of his/her small stuffed animals. If your spouse is already deployed consider sending it over in the next package you mail out. Have your child be the one to put it in the box so he feels like he is helping his daddy miss home a little less. If your spouse doesn’t have a camera, throw in a disposable one.

Living in Korea

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My next guest poster is Megan who blogs at Megan Dub-Yuh.  She is an Army wife & Math teacher living in Korea right now. Thanks so much for the post Megan!

living in koreaLiving in Korea

We have lived in Korea for a year now.  Adam had been here a year before that,  unaccompanied.  We were drawn to the promise of 2 full years together without that big D word looming over our heads after Adam was sent here to heal from a broken ankle he received while training for the big D to Iraq.  (I am very grateful for that rod and 6 screws in his leg.)

Living in Korea
It has been a new challenge almost daily to live in country whose culture is so different from our own.  It can be very frustrating at times but when all is said and done my husband comes home at night and almost works regular hours (with the exception of a few TDYs).  When put in to that perspective I will deal with any cultural or language frustration.

When I began thinking about this post on what it is like to be stationed in Korea I began thinking about posts I have already made.  {If you would like to read any of them check out posts under the label Korea.  It has been pretty entertaining at times.}  But in the end I have decided to poll my followers on Twitter and see what they wanted to know about being stationed here.  Below are those questions and my answers to them (most of the answers apply to my experience with our location and the Army).

How hard is it to bring animals over?
It is a challenge but not impossible.  We have three yorkies and we decided to not bring them but left them with my parents.  When deciding whether we were going to bring them we took a few things in to consideration: housing, travel, and vet services.

Even though Adam was here already they wouldn’t let him get housing for the both of us until I was physically in the country.  I was coming in during the peak time for PCS and so we didn’t know if we would be living on post (where they have very strict animal noise regulations), in an apartment off post or what.  There was no telling if we would be able to find a place that was three yorkie friendly.  Also, there are no yards anywhere in Korea so if you have a pet that requires one don’t bring them.  Most Koreans, that do have pets, have small dogs since most Koreans live in apartments.

I was flying here via a 20 hour commercial flight.  The thought of taking my babies on that was overwhelming plus they only allow one dog per person in the cabin.
Finally, the vet services on post weren’t well established when we started to plan our move here.  They have become more established since getting here but we would probably have had to try and find an English speaking Korean vet regardless.
Lastly, if there is to be a civilian evacuation there are many regulations and very specific things you have to have done in order for you to get your pet evacuated.  They will be evacuated at a lower priority than you and your stuff so once you leave them in the pet area you won’t know about them again for a while.  More stress I wouldn’t want to deal with in the event of an evacuation.

What if you don’t like Korean food?
If you don’t like Korean food then you can eat on Post.  There is all of your normal food court fare.  BUT you are bound to find some Korean food that you like.  It isn’t all kimchi and spicy fish… even though that is a large part of their diets.  My favorite is Samgyupasal, or Korean bacon, cooked on a table grill and served with Kimchi, salad and roasted garlic.

Is it hard for the spouse to find a job?
Yes, it is very hard.  They do not have jobs for spouses on post and any jobs available that you may be qualified for are given first priority to Koreans because of the agreement we have with their country.  Korea has a ridiculously high unemployment rate and to get a job on post is amazing for them.  Before you get upset at this discrimination just keep in mind they will live here in this country that it is impossible to get a job in even if with a specialized degree and you are here temporarily.  Working off post will require you to get special work permissions added to your Visa and if it is a job that a Korean can do, again, they probably will deny you the permission.

What kinds of schools are available for kids?
If you are Command Sponsored (and I would recommend you only come here with your husband if you are Command Sponsored) there are the DoDDs schools on post.  Otherwise you will have to enroll your child in a Korean or International School which could cost you a lot of money.

How is the TriCare system there? Dentists?
There is a medical shortage here and it takes FOREVER to get an appointment on post and they only book two weeks out so hopefully whatever time they have available works for you else you will have to call back over and over again.  They also have very little equipment on post and if you have to have any tests done they probably will send you off to a Korean partner hospital, which is a whole new experience (not necessarily bad) of its own.
Once you get an appointment or if you have to go to the after-hours care clinic (ER) then you will have a short waiting room wait and very friendly, efficient service.
As for the dentists, I’m ashamed to say that I have yet to figure out how to make a dentist appointment.  It seems to be very convoluted and everyone I talk to tell me a different thing.

Are the locals friendly toward military families?
We have not encountered any animosity towards us.  If anything the woman are always telling Adam how handsome he is even if I am standing right there.  They also like to dig in your shopping cart if you are at their grocery stores.  They are just super curious to see non-Koreans most of the time.  In fact, a friend of mine had an old man tell her that although he had seen it on tv he didn’t believe people really had round eyes.

What size are the houses on base/post and off post? Will a kingsize bed fit?
The houses are super small.  Korea is a very crammed place and the people are generally pretty efficient and Spartan.  But if you think about it the country has a population of about 49 million people in the size of the state of Kentucky.  So, when trying to figure out what to have the packers send to your new home in Korea go with the bare minimum.  We lucked out and got a larger than average home outside the city we live in.  They have super small closets, cabinets, etc.  We brought a lot more than we needed and if we had moved in to the apartment that we originally thought we were going to then we wouldn’t have had enough room (we only brought about 1/3 of our HHG from our 2000 sq ft home in Texas).  As for a king size bed the answer is yes but there may not be any room for anything else in your bedroom if you do.

Is the water potable, or should you drink bottled water?
The tap water is safe to drink but it isn’t recommended.  It is full of extra minerals that we were told have caused Americans to have allergic reactions.  We cook with and bathe in it with no problem but for drinking we have a water filtration system that our land lords installed and that we pay about $20 a month to have.  It is serviced by a funny little lady every 3 months.  It also has instant hot water which is awesome.  I want one when we get back to the States.

How expensive is it to take vacations (not CONUS) to other countries?
To travel to other countries in Asia is pretty inexpensive.  Since you are so much closer the airfares are cheaper.  One thing to keep in mind is that many countries require for Americans to have Visas purchased and approved before traveling.  Some of these Visas are expensive (China is about $200 a person).

Traveling within Korea is infinite and also very cheap especially if you can stay on one of the many military installations throughout the peninsula or off the beaten tourist path.  There is relatively low crime here.  There is occasional pick-pockets, etc, in the touristy areas of the big cities but you really don’t have too much to worry about.  If you decide to stay in one of the “love” hotels which can be nice, inexpensive accommodations you could see human trafficking, which is a very real problem here.  So, just be careful.

Is it worth shipping your car over or should you buy one there?
Yes, it is worth shipping your car over here.  Cars are very expensive unless you can get one of the many OLD beaters on post, which if you need a second car you will have to do that.  Traveling by car is a lot more convenient than traveling by the vast public transportation systems that are available here and all of the signs are in Korea.  If you do drive in Korea you should definitely invest in an English-speaking GPS, it is well worth the money.  Driving here is a lot like playing Grand Theft Auto and you are guaranteed to get lost or miss your turn many times.

Living in Korea

What are no-nos in Korean culture that are fine in American?
For more information check out the book Rude American, Rude Korean.

What we do…

  • Writing someone’s name in Red ink.
  • Pointing
  • Sticking your fork in your food to rest it when not using it.
  • If you use the middle finger they won’t know you are insulting them.

 

What they do…

  • Cut in line.
  • Not make lines at food carts they just yell out their order.  So don’t wait your turn.
  • Run red lights.
  • Drive on the sidewalk.
  • Walk out in front of moving cars while holding their hands out expecting you to just stop.
  • Stare like you are a rare zoo animal.
  • Their version of the middle finger is to ball their hand up in a fist and point their thumb at you.
  • They don’t make their children behave and be quiet in public… they basically ignore them.
  • Park anywhere… even in the middle of a busy street.
  • Old ladies will grab children’s butts… even your children that they don’t know.
  • Pretend like they don’t understand you whether you are speaking English (and they do, too) or you are speaking Korean.