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Military Life Doesn’t Always Look the Same

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Military Life Doesn’t Always Look the Same

Before my husband joined the military, I was a SAHM and he worked 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.

He joined the Army and by the time we hit the first-year mark, we were in the middle of a 15-month deployment, on a post in Germany.

My life changed in so many different ways. Military life was so completely different than what I was used to, in so many different ways.

Over the years, life has gone on, we went through many deployments and a couple of moves. Now as a National Guard family things are different than they were as an active duty one, but not quite the same as when we were civilians.

Some weeks are more military than others. Some years are more military than others. It all just depends on what is going on and what is happening with my spouse’s career.

Once you get to know the military community you start to notice that not everyone’s military journey looks the same. Some include more separations than others. Some include more moves than others.

Some military spouses have moved every few years, packing up and diving into a new home every three years. Others have only moved once or twice as a military family, with plans to stay put at their current duty station for quite a bit longer.

Some spouses have been through many deployments, in a short amount of time. Others have been able to have years in between.

Some military spouses are raising children and others are not. Some spouses will be able to be stationed overseas, and others will never have that opportunity.

Because our military experiences can be so different, it’s important to listen when other military spouses tell you they are having a more difficult time or just can’t seem to figure out the best way to get through the next few months.

It’s important to remember that what worked for you might not work for someone else. That we all have things that frustrate or bother us. And that we might not know what another military spouse is going through.

That being said, even if we haven’t walked the exact same path, there is beauty in coming together and talking about our experience. There is value in sharing what we have experienced and how we have made it through.

Whether you are a brand new military spouse or heading into your third decade.

Whether you have been through 10 deployments or waiting on your first one.

Whether you feel strong at the moment or are struggling with your current situation.

Military life doesn’t always look the same, but we can still learn from one another. The military community is strong, and we can help each other through with encouragement and patience. With listening ears and a desire to help one another out.

How long have you been a military spouse?

A Letter To A New Military Spouse, Starting Their Military Life Journey

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A Letter To A New Military Spouse Just Starting Their Military Life Journey

A Letter To A New Military Spouse, Starting Their Military Life Journey…

I know things feel a bit scary right now. Your loving spouse has just joined the Military. You might not even know how to feel right now. You are likely experiencing a range of emotions. Both happy and sad ones.

You are not sure what is going to happen or what the next few years will be like. You agreed that you would take it one enlistment at a time. Only three years and then if you both want to walk away you can, only, you wonder if you really will.

You wonder if the Military will be your life from now on.

That your spouse will like the military life too much, that you will like it too much or that you will absolutely hate military life and that they will want to stay.

The truth is, it is nearly impossible to know what your experience is going to be like. The Military is different for everyone. Based on where you are stationed, the unit they are in, if they deploy or not, how many times they deploy and how often, the friends you meet and everything that happens between now and when it is time to make that reenlistment decision.

My advice would be to take it one year at a time.

Don’t let a bad situation cause you to change your life. Don’t let a good one lead you into thinking that everything will always be easy. Know that when the time comes to decide, you two will know in your hearts what the next step will be.

You worry about those deployments everyone is talking about. And if you can get through them when it doesn’t even seem like you can get used to them being away during basic training.

Your deployments will be some of the hardest months of your life.

You will miss your spouse like crazy, and you will wonder why you decided that joining the Military was a good idea in the first place. You will cry yourself to sleep some nights and pat yourself on the back during others.

You will have good days and bad ones. You just have to keep on keeping on. You will find your own battle buddies that will help you on the days you just don’t think you can do Military life anymore. In return, you can be there for them during their difficult days.

You will make friends but they or you will have to eventually move and you will have to say goodbye to each other. Always having to make new friends will be difficult but it also makes life a little more interesting.

You never know who you will meet next, where they will be from or what kind of story they will have.

With Facebook, it is a lot easier to keep in touch with others after you no longer live in the same place. This part of Military life is hard but it is something you can get more used to, even if you still don’t want to have to say goodbye to people all of the time.

Military spouse, you are a part of something amazing. A family of other spouses whose heart belongs to someone who serves in the Military. You are a part of history. You will be remembered for what you are about to do, for the sacrifices you will give to your country, and for the strong faith you will show in the midst of difficult situations.

A Letter To A New Military Spouse Just Starting Their Military Life Journey

The best part of being a Military spouse is that you are not alone.

There are a lot of us out there to help guide you through everything you might experience. There really is nothing new under the Military sun. As you move forward down your Military life path, remember why you and your spouse made the decision for him to join. Remember to take it one day at a time if you need to.

You will be okay. You will grow stronger through it all and you will make the best friends you could ever meet through your time as a Military Spouse.

Are you a new Military Spouse? What do you think about this new chapter in your life?

Navigating Change as a Military Spouse

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Navigating Change as a Military Spouse

August often brings a season of transition in military life. PCS orders are in full swing. School is starting up again. Deployments loom. Change that’s been quietly building suddenly takes center stage.

And for Military Spouses, that means stepping into new roles—sometimes many at once:

  • The PCS Planner managing boxes, records, and goodbyes.
  • The Back-to-School Juggler balancing kids, new teachers, and schedules.
  • The Deployment Prepper bracing for separation.
  • The Newlywed learning the language of military life.
  • The Career Chaser pursuing goals despite gaps and moves.
  • The OCONUS Warrior building a home far from what’s familiar.
  • The Seasoned Spouse offering wisdom and perspective.

The truth? Most of us carry more than one of these identities at once. Maybe you’re preparing for a PCS and solo parenting. Maybe you’re chasing a career and supporting a partner who just returned home. That ability to shift—to show up wherever you’re needed—is your superpower.

But in all this change, it’s easy to forget one thing: you matter too.

Take a moment to pause. Go for that walk. Say yes to help. Say no when you need to. Rest. Reflect. Reset. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Your journey isn’t linear, and you’re not in it alone.

Finding Support with ACP

At American Corporate Partners, we see you, Military Spouses. We see your strength, your adaptability, and the unseen ways you show up for your family and future.

That’s why ACP offers the Military Spouse Mentorship Program—a free, year-long opportunity to be paired with a professional Mentor from Fortune 500 companies, nonprofits, and universities. Together, you’ll set goals, build confidence, and take steps toward your career aspirations, no matter what season of military life you’re in.

Your Mentor can help with:

  • Career exploration and planning
  • Résumé and interview preparation
  • Networking and professional connections
  • Balancing personal and professional growth

ACP’s mentorships are flexible, personalized, and designed to move with you through deployments, PCS moves, and every transition in between.

You’re Doing More Than Enough

This season, let’s focus on what we can control—even when so much feels uncertain. Let’s lead with compassion, starting with ourselves.

To every Military Spouse—whether you’re a planner, a caregiver, a builder, or all of the above—we see you. And at ACP, we’re here to support you through it all.

Don’t wait! Apply today to be matched with a Mentor this fall. Start your next season with support, direction, and someone in your corner.

Learn more and apply for ACP’s free Military Spouse Mentorship Program today.

A Big Long List of Military Discounts for Military Spouses

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A Big Long List of Military Discounts for Military Spouses

The first time I ever used a military discount was when I was living in Kentucky and they offered one at our local Chick-fil-A. Not all Chick-fil-A’s offer a military discount, and maybe that one doesn’t anymore but it did when I was there and was able to use it to save a couple of bucks on my meal.

My favorite military discount has got to be the one you can use at Disneyland. We have used this one three different times, in 2017, 2018, and 2022. We hope to be able to use the Walt Disney World military discount someday too.

There are so many different military discounts and programs out there. From Lowe’s and Home Depot to Vera Bradley and other retail shops. You can save $500 on a new car, or buy shoes with a 10% discount. While some retailers only give the military discount to the service member, many also include the spouse and families allowing for us military spouses to use the discount even if our service member is not with us.

Are you interested in knowing what military discounts are out there? You have come to the right place! Here is a big long list of military discounts for military spouses. Enjoy!

Grab something to eat or enjoy a yummy treat

  • Kroger – groceries, but only at Kroger’s near Fort Campbell. 10%.
  • A&W – yummy rootbear floats and a burger on the side! Save 10%.
  • Chuck E. Cheese – for the kids, for the pizza, for fun. Save money with the Chuck E. Cheese Military Deals!
  • Houlihan’s – take the family out for dinner. Save 10% on your check.
  • Outback – for a steak dinner, with a Bloomin’ Onion. Those things are addictive. Save 10% with their military discount.
  • El Pollo Loco – chicken, chicken, and more chicken. Save 15% with their military discount.

Clothing, shoes, and accessories

  • Under Armour – find clothing and shoes. Save 20%, although sometimes they will offer up to 40%.
  • Columbia – find warm clothing, jackets, and more. Save 20%.
  • Puma – clothing, shoes, and accessories. Save 10%.
  • Vera Bradley – purses, blankets, and more! They offer a 15% military discount that you can also combine with sales and promotions. You can also use the Vera Bradley military discount online!
  • Shoe Carnival – for shoes for you, your spouse, and the kids. Don’t forget the socks! Save 10%.
  • Reebok – shoes, clothing, and more. Save 50%. Yes, 50%!
  • Dickies – for men’s pants and workwear. Save 10% with their military discount.
  • Hanes – for your sleepwear, loungewear, and underwear needs. Save 10%.
  • J.Crew – for high-quality men’s, women’s, and kid’s clothing. Save 15%.
  • Kohl’s – for clothing, home goods, and more. Save 15%…on Mondays.
  • Lululemon – clothing for yoga, running, training, and more. Save 15%.
  • Nike- shoes, shoes, and more shoes. Just do it and buy some shoes. Save 10% with the Nike military discount.

Military Spouse/Veteran Owned Businesses

  • Sword & Plough – is a veteran-owned business with Made in the USA bags and accessories. They offer a 20% military discount.

Entertainment for you and your kids

  • Regal – for movies! Save around $1.00 on tickets.
  • AMC – for movies! Save around $1.00 on tickets.
  • The Nashville Zoo – make sure to check out the bears! Save 47-50% as a military discount, or receive free admission for the veteran and their family around Veterans Day.
  • Great Wolf Lodge – an indoor waterpark for the kids! Save 25%!
  • MLB Games – one, two, three strikes you’re out. Most MLB teams do offer discounted military tickets.

Amusement parks you don’t want to miss

When it comes to Amusement Park tickets, your MWR Travel Office is going to be your best friend. You should be able to find a list of where you can get tickets and their prices and then buy the tickets there. Do this before any trip and you can save yourself some money.

  • Disneyland – the Happiest Place On Earth. Save on park hopper tickets.
  • Walt Disney World – the other Happiest Place On Earth. Save on park hopper tickets.
  • Sea World – a fun water-themed amusement park in San Diego, San Antonio, and Orlando. Receive up to four free tickets per family.
  • Legoland – both in California and Florida. Fun for the little kids. And maybe Mom and Dad too. Save on tickets and hotel rooms. Mom
  • Universal Studios – located in both California and Florida. Save money on tickets and hotels and don’t forget to drink some Butterbeer in Harry Potter Land 🙂
  • Six Flags – over 20 parks to choose from. They offer Military Appreciation tickets.

Save money on your car

  • Honda – get yourself a new ride! $500 off your purchase.
  • Toyota – drive yourself over and get a new Toyota, and receive a $500 rebate.
  • O’Reilly Auto Parts – for all your automobile needs. Save 10%.
  • Pep Boys – for more of your automobile needs. Save 10%.
  • Volkswagen – save $500 on your next vehicle.

Glasses and jewelry and random fun things

  • Ray-Ban – find sunglasses. Save 15%.
  • Jared – jewelry, watches, and other gifts. Save 10%.
  • Glasses USA – glasses and sunglasses. $10 off your purchases.
  • Sunglasses Hut – to shade you from the sun. Save 15%.
  • Zenni Optical – for glasses and sunglasses. Save 10%.

Toys, books, and stuff for the kids

  • Gamestop – for all your video game needs. Save 10%.
  • Evenflo – from strollers to car seats, gear for your babies. Save 25% with their military discount.
  • Enfamil – formula for your baby. Save 10%.
  • Baby Tula – baby carriers, in many patterns and colors. Save 15% with their military discount.

Health and Wellness

  • Thrive Market – natural and organic products. Receive a free membership.
  • Anytime Fitness – work out, and get to the gym. Save money with their military discount.

Random retailers with cool stuff

  • Michaels – find crafts, decorations for your home, and more. Save 15%.
  • Joann – similar to Michaels. They offer a 15% military discount.
  • Yeti – coolers and more, get 20% off with a Yeti military discount.
  • Stanley – water bottles. Save 20%.
  • Lowe’s – home improvement, plants, and more. Save 10%.
  • Home Depot – home improvement, plants, and more. Save 10%.
  • Weber – grills for your BBQs. Save 10%.
  • Mattress Firm – for your sleeping needs. Save 10-20%.
  • Camp Chef – for grills and skillets. Save 20%.
  • Apple, Dell, and Microsoft – need a new computer? phone? accessories? All three of these companies have military discounts!
  • Yankee Candle – make your house smell good! Save 10%.

Travel fun

  • Amtrak – skip the plane and take a train. Save 10% on tickets.
  • Airlines – most airlines offer the military something, from reduced tickets to saving on bag fees. Double check since some only offer to the service member.
  • National Parks – from sea to shining sea, check out America’s National Parks. Military can get a free pass!

If you have or work for a business with a military discount that is not already on this list, please contact me for information on how to be added.

6 Resources For Military Spouses Struggling With Anxiety and Depression

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6 Resources For Military Spouses Struggling With Anxiety and Depression

I suffer from anxiety. Having a spouse in the military can add to the struggle. Over the years, I have learned what works and how to deal with my anxiety. Sometimes that means changing little things in my life, other times that has meant going to see a counselor.

I know I am not alone in my anxiety. Other military spouses struggle with it too. Some spouses struggle with depression as well. No matter who you are or what you do, struggling with anxiety and depression can be a lifelong battle.

Mental health is a serious issue in the US and our military. It has touched our family personally as well as many other families I know. We shouldn’t be sweeping it under the rug, and we shouldn’t be embarrassed to reach out and seek help if we need it.

The good thing is that there are resources for military spouses who struggle with anxiety and depression. We don’t have to go through this alone. There is help out there.

Here is a list of six resources to help with your anxiety or depression:

TRICARE

One of the best things you can do if you are struggling with anxiety or depression is to talk about what is going on with your doctor. They can then talk with you about your options. For some, that does mean medications, and that choice should be one you make with your doctor. For others, it could mean going to therapy.

Military Family Life Counselor

The Military Family Life Counselor or MFLC program is where you can find a licensed clinical provider who assists service members and their families with a wide range of issues. They offer this non-medical and confidential help if you need it, but they should not replace going to see a Psychiatrist or Psychologist.

Military One Source

The Military Family and Life Counseling Program offers non-medical and short-term counseling to the military and their families. This can be a good choice if you are dealing with deployment adjustments, stress management, grieving the loss of a loved one, or more. They do not deal with cases of abuse, suicidal thoughts, or mental health issues that may require long-term care or medication.

Military One Source also has articles on mental health and other issues affecting military families.

Give An Hour

This organization has a mission to help others by connecting them with a network of volunteers that can respond to their needs. Since 2005, they have focused on providing free mental health care to the military (including the National Guard and the Reserves), veterans, and their families.

This lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for those in distress or in crisis. Please use this if you or a loved one is in trouble. They also have information on suicide and mental health as well as stories of recovery and hope.

 

If you are struggling, know you don’t have to struggle alone. There are resources out there for you, to help you get what you need to be in a better place.

Do you know of any resources for military spouses with anxiety and depression that should be added to this list? 

To the Military Spouse Who is Solo Parenting for the First Time

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My son was 13 months old when my husband left for Germany to start his Army career, leaving us behind in Kentucky to join him as soon as possible. Other than a trip to my parents’ house when my son was five months old, my husband had always been around to co-parent with me. Then he was gone, across the ocean, and I became a solo parent.

I was lucky. At that time, I would put my son down at 7 pm, and he would sleep until 7 am. However, I couldn’t sleep and would finally close my eyes around 3 am every morning. On four hours of sleep, I had to be both mom and dad. I got burned out very quickly. After 4.5 months of this, we joined my husband in Germany. But my solo parenting days were far from over.

Over the next few years, my husband deployed or was away at training. For months at a time, it was just me with the boys. The longest we went without seeing him was 11 months. That was rough. These days I am still a solo parent with drill weekends and training. And there could always be another deployment in our future.

When your spouse is in the military, you will have to be the solo parent sometimes.

Maybe just for a few weeks, other times for a few months and if you “get lucky” for over a year. The truth is, when you become a solo parent, you have this strong belief that this isn’t the way things were supposed to be. Your spouse was not meant to miss your son’s first birthday. Your spouse was supposed to be there on their first day of kindergarten. They were supposed to be there to help with bedtimes, soccer games, and birthday parties.

When you are married to a service member, they are going to miss those things, and that is going to hurt.

But as a military spouse, you figure out how to make solo parenting work. How to be three places at once, how to say no more often, how to let the little things go and how to make a fantastic dinner of mac and cheese with a side of cereal.

You learn how putting the kids to bed a little earlier will give you some time to take a bubble bath, one that you might need after a long day. You learn to befriend others who get this life and ignore those who don’t. You learn that you are so much stronger and can do so much more than you ever thought you could.

So, to the military spouse who is solo parenting for the first time, there are things you can do to make life a bit easier!

Take things one day at a time

Take everything you are going through one day at a time. Sometimes you might have to take things one hour at a time. That’s okay. Solo parenting is no picnic and most likely getting through the months you have to do it is going to be challenging. But try not to think about how long they will be gone and work through each day as it comes.

Find mom friends

Mom friends are a must when you are solo parenting. Find other moms who are going through deployments too. Make plans to get together on a regular basis. Let your kids play together. This will keep you busy and will give you people who understand what you are going through.

Find playgroups

Play groups are going to be your weekly lifesaver. You can take your kids out to do something fun, to keep them busy and you can make some friends of your own. Playgroups could be the only time of day when you can do something fun outside the house with such small children. MOPS is also a great place to go if you have a MOPS group in your area.

Say no, it’s okay

When you are solo parenting, you might want to say “no” a little more often. And it’s okay to do so. You are not superwomen. You can’t do everything. Your kids need to come first. So figure out what works for them as well as your emotional needs and feel free to say no if there is just too much going on.

Remember, this is temporary

No matter how long a deployment is, it will be temporary, and your spouse will be home again with you and your children. This is hard to remember sometimes, but if you can put the deployment in perspective, that can be helpful.

How do you get through times of solo parenting?

To the Military Spouse Who is Solo Parenting for the First Time

To the Military Spouse Who Hates the Lonely Nights

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To the Military Spouse Who Hates the Lonely Nights

When a deployment begins, you, as the military spouse, have to find a new way of doing life. Things have changed, and you need to figure out how it will work in your home for the next few months. You need to figure out what works best and how you can get through the time apart.

Staying busy is essential. Filling that calendar. Making friends. Trying something new.

The Nights Can Feel Incredibly Lonely

But even if you, as a military spouse, have cracked the code and found ways to get through the day-to-day, the nights can feel incredibly lonely. When the kids are in bed, the kitchen has been cleaned, and the clothes put away.

It’s in those moments when the reality of it all can hit hard, crashing into you like a wave. Making you feel like you can’t possibly do this for the next bit of time they have to be away. Making you question how you even got to where you are in this moment.

It’s in the lonely nights when you miss them the most. You miss telling them about your day. You miss watching TV together. You miss having your person there right beside you.

You Can Feel Like the Rug Has Been Pulled Out From Under You

And beyond that, military spouse, you can feel as if the rug has been pulled out from under you. What makes sense during the day, the duty, the honor. Can feel oh so messy in the night, when you feel like you need them the most.

So, to the military spouse who hates the lonely nights, know that you are not alone in these feelings. It is normal to feel this way, even if you have good deployment days. Even if you usually feel strong.

It’s okay to cry. To sit on your couch and let it all out. Because this stuff? It’s hard!

You Are Doing So Much On Your Own

Solo parenting includes doing bedtime alone. It includes planning and cooking all the meals. It means extra burnout and no one to cuddle up with after putting the kids to bed. And all of that is hard!

Military life during a deployment means having to do so much on your own, when it is usually shared with a partner. It means making extra decisions without being able to discuss them thoroughly. It means sitting alone after a hard day, when the loneliness can creep in. And all of that is hard!

So, if you are having a difficult time at night, if you feel loneliness a little too much, if you are struggling without your partner by your side, you are normal. And while it might seem like this will last forever, it won’t. Deployments eventually end.

One Day, the Deployment Will Be Over

Tell yourself this. Tell yourself that one day, they will be back home with you. Remind yourself how much you have already done. Look at all those nights you have already gotten through.

Find people who get it. Chat with a friend. Dive into an old TV show you can curl up with every night. Keep a journal, and write out your feelings before bed. Blast Taylor Swift’s newest album. Breathe and remember, you got this.

This is a difficult part of military life. And you will get through it, you will!

How You Can Help A Struggling Military Spouse

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How You Can Help A Struggling Military Spouse

How You can help a struggling military spouse

You are finally feeling good about military life. Nothing too complicated, just a few trainings and your husband will be home for a while. You feel put together, have a good friend base at your duty station, and life seems pretty stable. But you have noticed something going on in your community. Not all of the spouses around you are doing okay. Some of them are struggling.

So, how do you help? What can you do to help a struggling military Spouse?

Or maybe you are not a military spouse. Perhaps you have friends who are, and you see them hurting? Maybe you would like to help them, but you don’t know the best way to do that because you have never been through a deployment or PCS yourself.

Here is what you can do to help a struggling military spouse:

Listen

Listening to a struggling military spouse is one of the best things that you can do. They might just need someone to listen. They might need to just get everything out.

Being able to vent about your situation in a safe place can be very therapeutic. I know on those days when I just couldn’t see the forest through the trees of the deployment, talking it out with a good friend was very helpful. If you have a friend who is struggling, let them know you are there to listen, even if you don’t fully understand what they are going through.

Offer

If there is anything you can offer to this spouse, please do. Offer babysitting, a meal, or even just an offer to be there when they need it. Send a care package if they live far away.

Send a note just to say you are thinking about them. These little things can really help a struggling military spouse who is not having the best of days.

Don’t Dismiss

The worst thing you could do is comment on how their situation could be worse or how they need to just get over it. Everyone handles deployments in their own way. Depending on the situation, some spouses might be going through something you simply will never have to deal with.

That doesn’t mean they don’t have a right to feel the way they do about what is going on. During a deployment, you want to be surrounded by people who are going to support you, and if you dismiss your friend’s feelings, they might push you away.

Give them space

Some spouses deal with a deployment by spending time by themselves. They might need some space to accept that the deployment has started. Make sure to give them space if they need it.

Please don’t assume that they want you there, because not everyone does. Let them know that you are there when they are ready to talk or hang out and keep busy.

Being on both sides

It’s so important that those of us who feel like we have it together don’t make those who don’t feel like they are less than. I have been on both sides of this.

I have been both the one struggling and the strong one. I have been the one pouring out my heart, and I have been the one who sat by listening as a friend poured out her own struggles.

The thing to remember about military life is that it is up and down, it is good and bad, it is happy and sad. When you are feeling good about what is going on, never forget that others are not, and never think that things will continue that way for you. You never know what the next day will bring.

An unexpected PCS? I have known people who have only been given a few weeks’ notice. A deployment that gets cancelled only to have it become uncancelled a week before they are supposed to go. A best friend having to leave when you are just about ready to start a new deployment.

Be there for your friends and the struggling military spouse. This will help out the whole military community and make life a little easier for those who need that little bit of extra love and care.

Have you ever been the struggling military spouse? How have others helped you along the way?