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Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

August 27, 2018 by Julie

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

We all need people. People we can depend on, people we can connect with, and people we can have meaningful relationships with.

We might make a new friend, and find out they are moving in three months.

We might have the perfect group of friends, knowing we will PCS in just a few months.

We might be brand new to our duty station and feel overwhelmed with starting over yet another time.

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

The truth is, we need to find these meaningful friendships to help us through our military spouse lives.

Having a deployment buddy makes the time go by that much faster. Knowing you have people to invite over for a pizza night when he has 24-hour CQ, your three-year-old refuses to pee in the potty, and five-month-old starts waking up every two hours again.

Finding your people will get you through some of your hardest times as a military spouse. People you can depend on, people who get this life, and people you can help in return.

Finding those meaningful friendships isn’t always easy, and sometimes they can take longer than we want to find the right person, but here are some things to think about when it comes to finding meaningful friendships in military spouse life:

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

Open up about your struggles

This one is hard for me, so very hard, but when you can open up about your struggles, you can bond with others who have been through them too. Maybe it is a long deployment you didn’t think you could get through, maybe you had a miscarriage last year, maybe your marriage is struggling, and you simply don’t know what to do about it.

Opening up and sharing everything to everyone you meet is not a good idea, but if you feel like you can trust the person, opening up can be a way to connect and start the journey of becoming much closer friends.

A year is still enough time

Having five to ten years or more of in-person friendship is ideal, that isn’t our reality as military spouses who move every few years. What can happen is that you can meet someone, be around them for a year, and continue your friendship across the miles.

You can text, email, and video chat. You can plan to see each other and be intentional about connecting even though you are far away. Plus, you never know when the military might bring you guys back around to the same duty station in the future.

Stay in touch

If a friend moves away, make sure you take the time to reach out to them. Send a text asking how they are doing, comment on their photos on Facebook, or send an email asking them about the next stage of their life.

This can be difficult sometimes. Life does move on. People get involved at their new duty station. But that doesn’t mean that when you say goodbye to a friend, that has to be the last time you connect with them.

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

Be a listening ear

Be there for people. Offer up a listening ear. Be trustworthy so that you can connect with others. Being there for others will go a long way in helping you find those meaningful relationships that you are looking for.

Make sure you are getting out there

Are you getting out of the house looking for ways to make friends? Did you try once and then said forget it? Sometimes we try to make friends once, it doesn’t work out, and we don’t want to try again.

I would encourage you to keep going. At a military installation, people are always moving in, there are always new people to meet. It is normal to get discouraged when new friends aren’t happening as soon as you want them to, but you have to keep putting yourself out there.

If you are on the shy side or can’t seem to get yourself to go places, try online. There are probably a lot of different Facebook groups out there for your duty station. Some might be more general and others hobby or age specific.

Remember, so many of the other military spouses at your duty station are looking for meaningful friendships too. You are not alone in this. Try to get out there, meet others, and do what you can to find friends, no matter where you are stationed, or how long you will be there.

Where did you meet some of your best friends???

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military friendships, military spouse, Milspouse

Dealing With Disappointment During Military Life

June 19, 2018 by Julie

Dealing With Disappointment During Military Life

Have you ever planned a vacation only to have to cancel or reschedule it because military dates changed?

Have you ever given birth when your husband was deployed because they simply wouldn’t send him home like you thought they might?

Have you ever wanted to be stationed close to home only for your spouse to get orders clear across the country?

Dealing With Disappointment During Military Life

Most military spouses have been through one or all of these disappointments not to mention others that can happen when you are a military spouse. Dates change, your spouse can’t always be around when you need them, and you don’t always get a choice in where you are going to live.

What can you do when disappointment hits? How can you turn things around to get to a better place? 

Shock

When met with disappointing news, you will probably be in shock. They say to “hope for the best, plan for the worst” and we know things might not work out the way we want them to, but we still hope that they do. And then when they don’t? We can’t believe we are hearing that news.

If you feel shocked when you realize things are not going to be the way you want them to be, you are not alone. It’s normal to feel this way at first. You had the hope of a better outcome, and now you have to start to accept your new reality, and that isn’t always easy to do.

Dealing With Disappointment During Military Life

Sadness

After shock comes the sadness. You are going to have to move to Alaska even though your family lives in FL. Your husband is going to deploy right before your 30th birthday. Your family trip to Walt Disney World will have to be postponed by six months.

You might need to take a moment to cry into your pillow. You are allowed to be sad about this; you are allowed to have those emotions. Let things out, call a friend and vent, have a good cry, and then move on to planning.

Planning

Every time I get some disappointing news because of my husband’s job, I eventually find myself coming up with a plan. I know that I will need to be creative to move forward. I will need to figure out a way to get through whatever it is I am dealing with.

If it is a matter of an unexpected deployment, I try to figure out what I can do during that deployment to stay as busy as I can, I think about how the deployment pay can help us, and I think about extra things I can do that I might not have time for if he wasn’t going to be deployed.

Being able to have a plan to deal with the disappointment will go a very long way in finding relief.

Dealing With Disappointment During Military Life

Relief

Relief happens when you get to a place where you feel like you can figure out a way forward. It might not always be easy, you might not always be happy about what happened, but you can figure out how to get through it.

If you assumed your husband would be at the birth of your first child and they are not, you are going to go through a wave of emotions about it. You will eventually figure out who you want with you because he can’t be. And then you will start to accept that this has to be your new normal. And with that comes the relief that you can, in fact, give birth without your husband. 

You Got This

Remember, you got this. Reach out to your friends, make plans, and figure out how to deal with disappointment in your military life.

Disappointments will happen in military life. They say to write all plans in pencil because all plans can change, no matter how close you are to the date they are supposed to happen. We as military spouse want to support our service members and getting to a place where we can move forward is a good way to do so.

What do you do to get over disappointment during military life?

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military life, military spouse, Milspouse

How Military Spouses Can Chase Their Dreams During Military Life

March 22, 2018 by Julie

How Military Spouses Can Chase Their Dreams During Military Life

One of the hot topics in the military spouse world is how we as military spouses can chase our dreams during the craziness of military life. There is always a reason to not move forward. There always seems to be obstacles in our way. But does it have to be this way?

How Military Spouses Can Chase Their Dreams During Military Life

Here are a few things you can do to still chase your dreams as a military spouse:

Go to School

Going to school is something you can do to further your own career. You can go back to school, and finish a degree you have already started. You can look to get another degree or to start college in the first place. You have a lot of options for what you can do to further your education.

Sit down and think about what you would want to do. Look at the different programs that are out there and figure out what will work for you. Take the first step and look into applying to get started. You will be glad that you did.

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

Write a Book

Do you know a lot about a certain topic that you want to share with the world? Are you a fiction writer, ready to start putting your stories down on paper? Maybe now is the time for you to write your book. If nothing else, get your ideas out on paper and see where that leads.

These days, you don’t have to go with a traditional publisher. Many writers self-publish their own Ebooks, and that can be an option for you. Do your research on writing a book and follow your book writing dream.

How Military Spouses Can Chase Their Dreams During Military Life

Start a Business

Military spouses love to start businesses. There are different ways to do this too. You can join a direct sales business and skip some of the steps to get started. You might be a creator and can start to sell your own homemade products. For some, selling advice or career help can be a way to get going on a business.

There are so many options these days, and you are not limited by what is available locally. The whole internet is at your fingertips. Other military spouses are rocking it as successful entrepreneurs.

Find a new job

Maybe you are a SAHM or maybe you are in a job you are not too excited about. Finding a new job could be the answer. You can find a job that will get you closer to where you want to be longterm.

Don’t get discouraged about finding a job and keep looking until you find something. Sometimes this might mean thinking outside the box. You might not always end up with your dream job, your current duty station could make that impossible, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find something that will work for the current season of your life.

How Military Spouses Can Chase Their Dreams During Military Life

Volunteer

There are always plenty of volunteer opportunities in your community. Some might be on post, and some might be off. If you want to work on a particular career in the future, look at what you can do that is similar or will help you later on. Volunteer work can look excellent on a resume and can fill in gaps if you are unable to find another type of job.

Find legitimate, professional work-at-home jobs in 50+ career categories with FlexJobs.

Whatever you decide to do, remember, your dreams are important too. While there could be certain circumstances when you can’t do exactly what you want to do for your career or your future during certain seasons of life, that does not mean this will be the case forever. Don’t be afraid to dream big, know that you can follow your own heart, and figure out how to make things work during your spouse’s military career.

How have you worked on your own career during your time as a military spouse?

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military life, military spouse, Milspouse

How You Can Become a Military Spouse Blogger

January 4, 2018 by Julie

How You Can Become a Military Spouse Blogger

* This post contains affiliate links! 

We were almost done with our 2nd deployment. It was getting colder in Germany, and I didn’t have that many things to do besides taking care of the kids and the house. For a while, I had wanted to become what I called a “public” blogger.

I had been blogging since 2004, but up until that time, my blog was just for friends and family. The blog was just little updates with pictures. I did most of that before Facebook started getting popular. When I realized I was posting everything I already posted on Facebook, I didn’t really blog that way anymore.

How You Can Become a Military Spouse Blogger

During that 2nd deployment, I decided to start my Military spouse blog.

I didn’t know what I was doing. I posted about homecoming outfits and the end of the deployments. I then found other Military spouse blogs and left comments. I went on Twitter and started to connect with others that way too.

Before I knew it, I had a little following. A few months later I was asked if I wanted to giveaway a book for Military Spouses. Things just progressed, and I eventually moved from Julie the Army Wife to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life which has been my blogging home for almost seven years now.

I love blogging and love that there is such a wonderful Milspouse blogging community. We have all been through a lot of the same things, and we can help each other out.

How You Can Become a Military Spouse Blogger

So how does one become a Military Spouse Blogger?

Start a blog

This is obvious; you must start a blog to become a blogger. Some Milspouse bloggers write all about Military life. Others blog about everyday life or other topics that don’t have to do with being married to someone in the military. The choice is up to on what to blog about.

You can start a free blog on Blogger or WordPress. You can also go self-hosted which means you will have to pay a small hosting fee. You might also want a domain name. I have found if you wait for sales you can get them for $.99 for the first year.

I love my blog hosting service. David from New Blog Hosting is the best. I can always message him if I have any issues and he can help me fix what needs to be fixed. He is also very affordable.

Start writing

After you have set up your blog, you need to start writing. You don’t have to write every day, but if you want to get your name out there, you need to write often. This is especially important when you first start out. Make a schedule for yourself and try to stick to it.

If you are stuck on what to write about, get out a pad of paper and start writing down ideas. What topics are you interested in? What topics could you write about time and time again? What do you want to talk to your readers about?

How You Can Become a Military Spouse Blogger

Being active on social media

Set up Facebook , Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest accounts to go along with your blog. Having a Facebook page is a must. Just create one with the same name as your blog. To start, you can invite your friends to get going. Make sure the friends you invite would be interested in your blog to begin with.

The key to Facebook is making sure you are posting the right type of content. Post both your own links as well as others. Memes work well. One meme took me from 3,000 fans to 10,000 in a very short amount of time. Sharing other people’s stuff is also a way to help other bloggers and is a smart thing to do. Look for content that you know your ideal reader would be interested in.

Twitter is good for sharing links and connecting with people. Twitter will not bring as much traffic as Facebook will, but it can be a good place to establish your brand and connect with other bloggers and readers.

Instagram is great for photos and memes. Make sure to comment and like other’s posts and have fun with the platform. You can also use Instagram stories too.

Pinterest is a search engine and you want a mix of your content and others. You can join a Pinterest group board and schedule out pins with Tailwind and BoardBooster.

Decide how much you are going to share

Since we are all military spouses, there are going to be OPSEC and PERSEC reasons not to overshare. Talk to your spouse about what they feel comfortable being out there on the internet. Some service members do not want any photos of them or even their names to be used. You should also decide if you are going to share where you live or talk about your children on your blog.


If you have your own Milspouse blog or just started one, leave your link in the comments. I would love to stop by 🙂

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Filed Under: Blogging, Military Life Tagged With: blogging, military spouse blogger, Milspouse

The Top Military Life Blog Posts of 2017 From Your Favorite Military Spouse Bloggers and Websites

December 28, 2017 by Julie

The Top Military Life Blog Posts of 2017 From Your Favorite Military Spouse Bloggers and Websites

The Top Military Life Blog Posts of 2017 From Your Favorite Military Spouse Bloggers and Websites

I discovered the military spouse blogging community back in 2009. I was on Twitter, and I started to connect with other military spouses on there. As a new blogger myself, this was a great way into the milspouse blogging community. We all understand what we were all going through.

Over the years, blogging has changed a bit. There is such a wonderful military spouse blogger community that is creating such fantastic content. There are military spouse blogs that focus on all different parts of military life. From deployments to pcsing, to hearing the stories of our military members.

As a military spouse myself, I know how much a blog post can help. Whether the topic is something you are going through, offering tips on the part of your life you don’t fully understand, or a post to simply make you laugh.

As we end 2017 and start a new year, here is a look back at 2017 with the top military life blog posts from your favorite military spouse bloggers and websites. Enjoy, grow, and learn something new 🙂

What Rebecca Thinks brings us, No Greater Love – A True Testament to the Bond of Soldiers. This post is about the documentary movie that came out in November.

Strength 4 Spouses talks about Why Military Spouses are Forced to Choose Between Work & Family and what she is doing in her own home.

NextGen Milspouse has a post called, Yes, I Married My Service Member for Tricare ‘Cause That Makes Sense. This post is a humorous look at reasons you became a military spouse.

Head on over to Military Dollar to read, Retiring On An Enlisted Military Pension. This post is all about how possible it would be to retire on an enlisted military pension.

PCSGrades answers the question, Can I follow my Service Member with Unaccompanied Orders? Something spouses want to know if their spouse gets those types of orders.

Singing Through The Rain has The Ultimate List of Military Spouse Bloggers, which would be the perfect place to find more blogs and websites to follow to help you through military life.

The Top Military Life Blog Posts of 2017 From Your Favorite Military Spouse Bloggers and Websites

My Veteran Woman Life has a post called, The Military Resume – Why Veterans Struggle with Landing a Job. This post is all about how to write that resume.

The House of Psych‘s post, Military Spouses & Holidays is about exactly that. What we have to deal with and go through during this time of year when our spouse serves in the military.

Airing My Laundry has a post, Things I Thought the “Big Voice” Said which is a humorous post about the things she thought the Public Address System on base was saying over the loudspeaker.

Marla Bautista from Hood Cents did a guest blog for me on the important topic of Stepping Outside of Your Comfort Zone.

Jennifer Lambert has a post on PCSing to Germany, to help anyone who will be doing so in the near future.

Military.com has a fun post, 25 GIFs That Perfectly Explain Military Life. This post will put a smile on your face.

The Top Military Life Blog Posts of 2017 From Your Favorite Military Spouse Bloggers and Websites

The website,  The Millie Journal has a great post on The Ebb and Flow of Military Friendships, something we can all relate to in our military lives.

Jo, My Gosh brings us a post with 99 Fun Questions to Ask Your Partner When You’re in a Long Distance Relationship. This can help you know what to say across the miles.

You can find the post, 15 Bible Verses for Military Spouses Facing Deployment or Separation at Jen McDonald’s blog. A post for those that need some encouragement through a common military spouse struggle.

On Military By Owner you can read the post, 22 Things Military Spouses Never Say During Deployment. All about things us military spouses do not think or say when our spouse is gone.

Her Money Moves brings us a post about Electronic Treasure Hunting which will help you learn about how to search your unclaimed property.  

Christ Walk has the post, 101 Reasons I am a Terrible Military Spouse, talking about true life as a military spouse.

13 Super Smart Marriage Tips For Military Couples Going Through A Deployment

At The Military Guide, you can find a post on How To Calculate A Reserve Retirement, which is a good answer to a question a lot of us with a spouse in the Guard or the Reserves have.

Judy Davis-The Direction Diva has a post, How Your Challenges Make You A Stronger Person. This post has a lot of good advice for all of us in our military journeys.

A Purpose Drive Wife blogged about the 5 ways to cope when deployment is overwhelming. A post with some smart tips for getting through the difficult days of a deployment.

On Balancing Grace, read Our Love Story – How I Met My Soldier, a post about finding love.

Visit The Daily Impressions to read a post on Mistakes You Will Make As A New Military Spouse. You know you can relate to at least some of these.

Find out about the 10 Moving Secrets to Help You Prepare for a Move on the blog, Airman to Mom to help you during your next PCS.

Visit Countdown & Cupcakes to read a post on Deployment Myths (And The True Story.) Not everything people assume is true when it comes to deployments.

The Top Military Life Blog Posts of 2017 From Your Favorite Military Spouse Bloggers and Websites
Servant Mama brings us a post, Encouragement for When You’re Tired of Military Life, something we have all been through at one time or another.

InDependent has a post, I’ll Take the Small Closet, about downsizing your closet and coming up with a move-proof capsule wardrobe.

As you start your new year, take some time to look through these popular military life posts to learn more about this life, your life, and to help put a smile on your face. And don’t forget to check out My Top Military Spouse Posts of 2017 too!

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: blogging, military life blogger, military spouse blogger, Milspouse

My Top Military Spouse Posts of 2017

December 26, 2017 by Julie

My Top Military Spouse Posts of 2017

My Top Military Spouse Posts of 2017

Next week at this time it will be 2018! A new year is always a good time to reflect back on the previous year. As I look back on my blog posts from the last year, I can see most popular posts. The blog posts that got the most attention, the most hits, and probably helped the most amount of people.

Here are the top 10 posts of 2017 from Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! Enjoy!

10. 9 Things That Can Hurt a Military Marriage– There are certain things that can hurt a military marriage. There are certain things to watch out for during this life. This post brings up some reasons why a marriage can break down. It is good to be aware of what they might be.

9. To a Military Spouse That Can’t Do Military Life Anymore– Sometimes we military spouses can hit a point where we feel like we simply can’t do it anymore. We can’t see how we could make it through another deployment or another PCS. We hit a wall. So if you have ever felt that way, this post is for you.

5 Challenges of Being a Military Spouse Married to a Member of the National Guard or the Reserves

8. The Truth About Military Life, In 30 Military Life Memes– Memes are a great way to express how you feel about a certain topic. Here are 30 memes all about military life! I am sure you can relate.

7. The Day Before They Deploy– The day before they deploy is one of the hardest days to get through. You know what is coming, you know what the morning will bring, you know you have to make the most of your time together.

6. To the Young Military Spouse Who is Struggling– Being a young military spouse can be a scary place to be in. There is so much to learn; this is a whole new world. Here are some tips for the young military spouse that is struggling or simply getting used to this new life.

5. Why You Should Break Up With Your Military Boyfriend– Breaking up is hard to do, but sometimes it needs to happen. Here are a few reasons it might be time to call it quits with your military boyfriend.

4. To The Military Spouse With Toddlers– Toddlerhood comes with all types of stresses and complications. Add in a deployment or two, and it is enough to drive you crazy. Here is a post all about raising toddlers during this military life.

3. 22 Memes All About Military Marriage– Military marriage is a different way to live. Here are some memes that explain why.

2. To the Military Spouse Worried About War- Sending your spouse off to war is probably going to be very much a part of your military life. However, that doesn’t mean that doing so is easy and there can be a lot of fear involved. Here is a post all about that.

And here is the #1 post on my blog from 2017,

1. Stop Saying That We Knew What We Were Getting Into– Don’t you hate when people tell you that you should have known what you were getting into when you married your service member? That’s the worst and it really doesn’t make any sense. Very few people know what they were getting into before their military life started.


As I get ready for 2018, I am thankful for my blog and the community I have built. My hope is that I can create a place for any military spouse that is scared, struggling, having a hard time with a deployment, or just in need of some military spouse support. We can all help each other through it, we are not alone in our struggles, and we can learn from one another.

Thank you all for supporting me and my blog, for being a reader, for all of your comments, and for being apart of what I have built. Here’s to 2018 and a fantastic year ahead!

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: blogging, Military Spouse Blog, Milspouse

7 Things You Don’t Have To Do Even If Other Military Spouses Are Doing Them

November 30, 2017 by Julie

7 Things You Don’t Have To Do Even If Other Military Spouses Are Doing Them

Does it feel like every other military spouse you know is doing something that you have no desire to do? Do you ever feel lost in a sea of other spouses? Sometimes we can get stuck thinking something is wrong with us if we are not military spousing like other people are. But the truth is, we should military spouse the way that works best for us, not everyone else. You be you.

7 Things You Don't Have To Do Even If Other Military Spouses Are Doing Them

Here are seven things you don’t have to do even if other military spouses are doing them:

1. Shop at the Commissary and PX/BX on a regular basis

When we lived in Germany, shopping at the Commissary and PX was a must if we wanted anything American. In the states, things are a little different. Unless your duty station is in the middle of nowhere, there are a lot of other stores in your city to get the same type of things you can find at the Commissary and PX/BX. You don’t have to shop at these places if other stores work better for you.

7 Things You Don't Have To Do Even If Other Military Spouses Are Doing Them

2. Drink wine

While it might seem like every other military spouse out there is drinking wine on a regular basis, I assure you they are not. Some spouses don’t drink at all. Some only do when they go out with their friends. “Drinking wine” has turned into a phrase that simply means, “letting loose and trying to relax.”

3. Live on post/base

We have lived on post, in government leased housing, and off post/base in our own home. If my husband was active duty, I think I would want to try living on post again. There are so many pros and cons to each decision based on where you are and what you want for your family. If on post/base doesn’t work for you, living off can be the right choice.

4. Be a SAHM

One of the stereotypes about military spouses is that they don’t work. But in real life, the military spouse world is made up of SAHMs, WAHMs, moms who work outside the home, and moms who also serve. While there are a lot of SAHMs in the military world, there are plenty of spouses who are working in a career or going to school to do so. And if you do want to be a SAHM, that is good too. There are so many reasons, and even seasons when being a SAHM is what makes sense for your family.

7 Things You Don't Have To Do Even If Other Military Spouses Are Doing Them

5. Send a lot of care packages

Care packages are a lot of fun and can be an excellent way to connect with your spouse overseas, but if they are not something that works for you and your spouse, don’t feel like you have to do them. For my husband, I usually would send him a care package when he would ask for something specific verses on a regular basis. If you are the type, who loves to send care packages, have fun and enjoy making them.

6. Hate the military

Sometimes I hate the military. Sometimes I love the military. It just depends on the day. If you don’t hate the military, that is okay. Not everyone does. And whether you hate the military or not might just depend on the year.

7. Hate your duty station

There are some duty stations that are more popular than others. Sometimes hating these not so popular places is the thing to do. You find out you are going there and everyone tells you how awful that place is. However, some people love unpopular duty stations. Maybe they just bloom where they are stationed; maybe the place just fits their personality. Whatever the reason, if you like your duty station, that is fine. Don’t let negative talk about the place get to you.

What would you add to this list?

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military life, military spouses, Milspouse

10 Tips For a Military Spouse Getting Ready to Go Through This Holiday Season With a Deployed Spouse

October 30, 2017 by Julie

10 Tips For a Military Spouse Getting Ready to Go Through This Holiday Season With a Deployed Spouse

10 Tips For a Military Spouse Getting Ready to Go Through This Holiday Season With a Deployed Spouse

It’s almost November, that means the holiday season is right around the corner. November brings colder weather, sweaters, hot chocolate, lighted fireplaces, and Thanksgiving. December brings Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, and snowy days.

This time of year is festive and made for families, but what happens when your spouse is deployed? What do you do when Thanksgiving this year is just you and your three-year-old, while your husband is serving overseas? How do you get excited about Christmas when you know the whole day you will be missing the love of your life? How do you get through the holidays when all you want to do is spend your first Christmas together, but you can’t because they are away on the other side of the world?

Here are ten tips for a military spouse getting ready to go through this holiday season with a deployed spouse:

1. Decorate like you normally would

Set up the tree, put out your decorations, and get your home looking like you usually do during this time of year. Just because your spouse is gone, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t decorate. You might even want to buy a few new decorations this season. Keeping your home festive will help with your mood, even if you are missing your spouse.

2. Focus on your daily work

Whether you work outside the home, work from home, or stay at home with the kids, focus on what you have to do each day. Don’t slack off on what you need to be doing. Focusing on your work will keep you busy and allow time to pass.

3. Plan to Facetime

Facetime or Skype as often as you can during this time of year. Even if you only chat for a few minutes. Seeing one another or getting excited about the holidays together can help your mood.

10 Tips For a Military Spouse Getting Ready to Go Through This Holiday Season With a Deployed Spouse

4. Send an amazing holiday package

Put together an amazing holiday care package for your spouse. Include some Christmas treats or anything you know they would love. You can fill a stocking, make baked goods, or just include some of their favorite items to help them celebrate the holidays, even when they are away from home.

5. Volunteer

If you can, spend time volunteering during this time of year. A lot of organizations are in need of helpers this time of year. You could volunteer at a soup kitchen, work to bring gifts to those who can’t afford them, or just be there to step in within your community. Giving back is a way to get the focus off of what you are missing and to help others.

6. Spend it with family

If you can, plan a trip back home. No, it will not be the same since your spouse is deployed but it can still be a fun holiday. Your kids can be around family and see what Christmas was like for your growing up.

10 Tips For a Military Spouse Getting Ready to Go Through This Holiday Season With a Deployed Spouse

7. Spend it with friends

If you can’t go home, find some friends in a similar boat as you are. Make plans to hang out during Thanksgiving or Christmas. You don’t have to spend all of Christmas day together but coming together on that day for a meal or even dessert can be good for all of you.

8. Open presents over Skype

If your spouse is deployed over Christmas or Hanukkah, you can film or Facetime/Skype while you are opening presents. This can be a way to bring in your deployed spouse to the day. One option is to set up your video camera to record the whole thing. This is nice when you have young children and your spouse still wants to see the joy of Christmas as they open their gifts.

9. Let the kids help

Let your kids help you decorate. Have them put the ornaments on the tree or come up with a different holiday theme. If you know they won’t want to eat a traditional meal, do something different. You can do whatever you want to have those special memories with your kids.

10. Celebrate early, or late

As military families, sometimes you will need to celebrate early or late. If they are going to deploy in November or December, celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas early. Do everything you would typically do, but on a different day. That way when the actual holiday rolls around you know that you were able to celebrate together anyway.


Remember, if they are gone this holiday season, they will probably be home the next. Try not to think they are missing a huge part of life. It might feel like they are at the moment, but in the grand scheme of things, it is simply one year.

You can still have a fantastic holiday season, even if you are missing them. What tips do you have for surviving the holiday season without your spouse?

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: Deployed Spouse, Holidays, Milspouse

You Know You’re a Modern Military Spouse When….

October 20, 2017 by Julie 1 Comment

You Know You Are A Modern Military Spouse When...

You Know You’re a Modern Military Spouse When….

Military spouses have been around for a very long time. While to a certain extent “if the military wanted you to have a wife, they would have issued you one” is true, we have come along way in what we have available to us as military spouses.

Things have changed even in the time since I became a military spouse in 2005. If you talk to someone whose spouse served in the 90s, or the 80s, or even before that in the 70s, or in the 60s, or if you have ever talked to a World War II spouse, you know that things have changed.  While we still have a long way to go, things have changed for the better.

My grandma said goodbye to my grandpa for three whole years. The only way they could communicate was through letters. Think about that! They had to number them, so they knew what order they were written in. I love a good handwritten letter, but I can’t imagine that being the only way I could talk with my spouse, for years at a time.

So us military spouses today, I suppose you could call us modern. The millennial military spouse might work except some of us are a little too old for that title 😉 There is something different about this time period, and being a military spouse will look different in the future I am sure.

You Know You Are A Modern Military Spouse When...

So here how you know you are a modern military spouse…

~ You gave birth with your husband by your side, on your iPad, over Skype.

~ You make easy dinners with your Instant Pot.

~ You met your husband online, while he was at his first duty station.

~ Your wife serves, and you stay home with the kids.

~ You don’t have to take all four of your children shopping by yourself as you are a big fan of Walmart’s Grocery Pick-up service.

~ You take your kids to the park so that you can get yourself a Starbucks, which is right next door.

~ You can take a call from your husband in Afghanistan from wherever you happen to be at the moment, no waiting at home until they call.

~ Netflix binge-watching is your favorite sport.

~ You take 1,000 photos whenever you do something fun, and your parents in California see them minutes later.

~ It’s been two days since you talked to your spouse and can’t believe it has been that long!

~ You learned about your future duty station, from a group of strangers you never met in a Facebook group.

~ You earned your BA in English while your spouse was in South Korea, all from the comfort of your home.

You Know You Are A Modern Military Spouse When...

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~ You love or even hate your FRG, but you do in fact have one.

~ You serve too, as you and your spouse met during basic training and now you are a dual military couple.

~ You have been guilty of oversharing on social media, but at least you are aware of the rules for OPSEC.

~ Amazon Prime is your favorite Transformer.

~ You depend on the friendships of others you have never met because they get exactly what a deployment is all about.

~ You have never met your boss in person. You live in Ohio, and they are in New York.

~ Free childcare once a month while your spouse is deployed.

~ You can honestly say apps make the deployment a little easier.

~ You are in charge of the bills, which makes sense, since sometimes your spouse is deployed.

~ You didn’t have to pay for your breast pump, TRICARE gave you one after you had your baby.

~ You are a SAHM, a WAHM or you work outside the home. You do whatever works for you and your family because you can.

~ You wake up every morning, supporting your service member. Through the deployments, the PCS moves, and anything military life throws at you.

What makes you a modern military spouse???

 

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military life, military spouse, Milspouse

The Type of Military Spouse It’s Okay To Be

September 19, 2017 by Julie

The Type of Military Spouse It's Okay To BeThe Type of Military Spouse It’s Okay To Be

It’s okay…

You see it’s okay to be you. You are your own person. You have your own likes, dislikes and belief systems. You are who you are.

It’s okay to cry during a deployment, and it’s okay if you don’t. We don’t all handle deployment in the same way.

It’s okay to go home for a deployment because you feel that is what you need to get through. It’s okay to stay at your duty station because you can’t imagine going anywhere else while they are gone.

It’s okay if your house is kinda messy all the time and it’s okay if you are a neat freak that can’t sleep if anything is out of order.

The Type of Military Spouse It's Okay To Be

It’s okay if you binge watch something every Friday night, and it’s okay if you never watch tv.

It’s okay if you have two children, or three children, or five children. It’s okay if you never want children and want to stay childfree.

It’s okay if you are a Christian, it’s okay if you are a Muslim, it’s okay if you are Jewish, it is okay if you are Hindu, and it’s okay if you don’t practice any type of religion at all. We all come from our own backgrounds and we all worship who we are going to worship.

It’s okay if you are a Republican, it’s okay if you are a Democrat, and it’s okay if you are not sure what you are and don’t want to pick a party.

It’s okay if you want to buy a house at your duty station and it is okay if you don’t want to own until after military retirement.

It’s okay if you want three dogs and it’s okay if pets are the last thing you want to deal with.

The Type of Military Spouse It's Okay To Be

It’s okay to be frustrated that you can’t find a job and it is okay to be happy that you are finally a SAHM.

It’s okay to be from a tiny town in Georgia, and it is okay to be from New York City and it’s okay that the two of you are best friends who met at a base in Hawaii.

It’s okay to love the show Army Wives, and it’s okay to hate that show with every fiber of your being.

It’s okay to be excited about going to spend four years in Germany, and it’s okay to be scared to death about leaving everything you have ever known.

It’s okay to go all out, hire a photographer for homecoming and spend $100 on an outfit. It’s okay to bring along a friend with an iPhone and to wear your favorite outfit from last year.

It’s okay to go to every ball and dance the night away. It’s okay to skip them and never attend, even if your spouse has to go.

It’s okay to love the FRG and volunteer to help. It’s okay to say no thank you and not attend spouse events as a general rule.

The Type of Military Spouse It's Okay To Be

You see, these are the types of military spouses you are okay to be. It’s okay to be you.

What is not okay is to bash others you don’t understand. It’s not okay to make fun of a spouse that is having a harder time than you are. It’s not okay to be unfaithful to your spouse, especially when they are deployed. It’s not okay to use the D word (you know the one) when referring to those you don’t understand.

You see, the military community is a diverse place. Military spouses are not all the same, and we can learn from one another. We come from all over the US and even other countries. We have different backgrounds and don’t all think the same.

But the one thing we have in common is that we are married to someone serving in our military. We have to say goodbye to them as they leave for deployment. We have to pack up everything and move every few years. We have to be strong, even when it feels like we can’t be anymore.

You see, the type of military spouse that it’s okay to be is one who is loyal, one who is able, one who is willing, and one who will do what they need to do to get through each day. 

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Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military life, military spouse, Milspouse

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About Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I have been an Army wife for almost 15 years now.

My husband of 18 years has served in the active-duty Army and now the Army National Guard. We have lived in Germany & Tennessee during our time as a military family.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, pcs moves, or anything else military life brings you 🙂

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