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Navigating Change as a Military Spouse

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Navigating Change as a Military Spouse

August often brings a season of transition in military life. PCS orders are in full swing. School is starting up again. Deployments loom. Change that’s been quietly building suddenly takes center stage.

And for Military Spouses, that means stepping into new roles—sometimes many at once:

  • The PCS Planner managing boxes, records, and goodbyes.
  • The Back-to-School Juggler balancing kids, new teachers, and schedules.
  • The Deployment Prepper bracing for separation.
  • The Newlywed learning the language of military life.
  • The Career Chaser pursuing goals despite gaps and moves.
  • The OCONUS Warrior building a home far from what’s familiar.
  • The Seasoned Spouse offering wisdom and perspective.

The truth? Most of us carry more than one of these identities at once. Maybe you’re preparing for a PCS and solo parenting. Maybe you’re chasing a career and supporting a partner who just returned home. That ability to shift—to show up wherever you’re needed—is your superpower.

But in all this change, it’s easy to forget one thing: you matter too.

Take a moment to pause. Go for that walk. Say yes to help. Say no when you need to. Rest. Reflect. Reset. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Your journey isn’t linear, and you’re not in it alone.

Finding Support with ACP

At American Corporate Partners, we see you, Military Spouses. We see your strength, your adaptability, and the unseen ways you show up for your family and future.

That’s why ACP offers the Military Spouse Mentorship Program—a free, year-long opportunity to be paired with a professional Mentor from Fortune 500 companies, nonprofits, and universities. Together, you’ll set goals, build confidence, and take steps toward your career aspirations, no matter what season of military life you’re in.

Your Mentor can help with:

  • Career exploration and planning
  • Résumé and interview preparation
  • Networking and professional connections
  • Balancing personal and professional growth

ACP’s mentorships are flexible, personalized, and designed to move with you through deployments, PCS moves, and every transition in between.

You’re Doing More Than Enough

This season, let’s focus on what we can control—even when so much feels uncertain. Let’s lead with compassion, starting with ourselves.

To every Military Spouse—whether you’re a planner, a caregiver, a builder, or all of the above—we see you. And at ACP, we’re here to support you through it all.

Don’t wait! Apply today to be matched with a Mentor this fall. Start your next season with support, direction, and someone in your corner.

Learn more and apply for ACP’s free Military Spouse Mentorship Program today.

To the Military Spouse Who is Solo Parenting for the First Time

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My son was 13 months old when my husband left for Germany to start his Army career, leaving us behind in Kentucky to join him as soon as possible. Other than a trip to my parents’ house when my son was five months old, my husband had always been around to co-parent with me. Then he was gone, across the ocean, and I became a solo parent.

I was lucky. At that time, I would put my son down at 7 pm, and he would sleep until 7 am. However, I couldn’t sleep and would finally close my eyes around 3 am every morning. On four hours of sleep, I had to be both mom and dad. I got burned out very quickly. After 4.5 months of this, we joined my husband in Germany. But my solo parenting days were far from over.

Over the next few years, my husband deployed or was away at training. For months at a time, it was just me with the boys. The longest we went without seeing him was 11 months. That was rough. These days I am still a solo parent with drill weekends and training. And there could always be another deployment in our future.

When your spouse is in the military, you will have to be the solo parent sometimes.

Maybe just for a few weeks, other times for a few months and if you “get lucky” for over a year. The truth is, when you become a solo parent, you have this strong belief that this isn’t the way things were supposed to be. Your spouse was not meant to miss your son’s first birthday. Your spouse was supposed to be there on their first day of kindergarten. They were supposed to be there to help with bedtimes, soccer games, and birthday parties.

When you are married to a service member, they are going to miss those things, and that is going to hurt.

But as a military spouse, you figure out how to make solo parenting work. How to be three places at once, how to say no more often, how to let the little things go and how to make a fantastic dinner of mac and cheese with a side of cereal.

You learn how putting the kids to bed a little earlier will give you some time to take a bubble bath, one that you might need after a long day. You learn to befriend others who get this life and ignore those who don’t. You learn that you are so much stronger and can do so much more than you ever thought you could.

So, to the military spouse who is solo parenting for the first time, there are things you can do to make life a bit easier!

Take things one day at a time

Take everything you are going through one day at a time. Sometimes you might have to take things one hour at a time. That’s okay. Solo parenting is no picnic and most likely getting through the months you have to do it is going to be challenging. But try not to think about how long they will be gone and work through each day as it comes.

Find mom friends

Mom friends are a must when you are solo parenting. Find other moms who are going through deployments too. Make plans to get together on a regular basis. Let your kids play together. This will keep you busy and will give you people who understand what you are going through.

Find playgroups

Play groups are going to be your weekly lifesaver. You can take your kids out to do something fun, to keep them busy and you can make some friends of your own. Playgroups could be the only time of day when you can do something fun outside the house with such small children. MOPS is also a great place to go if you have a MOPS group in your area.

Say no, it’s okay

When you are solo parenting, you might want to say “no” a little more often. And it’s okay to do so. You are not superwomen. You can’t do everything. Your kids need to come first. So figure out what works for them as well as your emotional needs and feel free to say no if there is just too much going on.

Remember, this is temporary

No matter how long a deployment is, it will be temporary, and your spouse will be home again with you and your children. This is hard to remember sometimes, but if you can put the deployment in perspective, that can be helpful.

How do you get through times of solo parenting?

To the Military Spouse Who is Solo Parenting for the First Time

To the Military Spouse Who Hates the Lonely Nights

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To the Military Spouse Who Hates the Lonely Nights

When a deployment begins, you, as the military spouse, have to find a new way of doing life. Things have changed, and you need to figure out how it will work in your home for the next few months. You need to figure out what works best and how you can get through the time apart.

Staying busy is essential. Filling that calendar. Making friends. Trying something new.

The Nights Can Feel Incredibly Lonely

But even if you, as a military spouse, have cracked the code and found ways to get through the day-to-day, the nights can feel incredibly lonely. When the kids are in bed, the kitchen has been cleaned, and the clothes put away.

It’s in those moments when the reality of it all can hit hard, crashing into you like a wave. Making you feel like you can’t possibly do this for the next bit of time they have to be away. Making you question how you even got to where you are in this moment.

It’s in the lonely nights when you miss them the most. You miss telling them about your day. You miss watching TV together. You miss having your person there right beside you.

You Can Feel Like the Rug Has Been Pulled Out From Under You

And beyond that, military spouse, you can feel as if the rug has been pulled out from under you. What makes sense during the day, the duty, the honor. Can feel oh so messy in the night, when you feel like you need them the most.

So, to the military spouse who hates the lonely nights, know that you are not alone in these feelings. It is normal to feel this way, even if you have good deployment days. Even if you usually feel strong.

It’s okay to cry. To sit on your couch and let it all out. Because this stuff? It’s hard!

You Are Doing So Much On Your Own

Solo parenting includes doing bedtime alone. It includes planning and cooking all the meals. It means extra burnout and no one to cuddle up with after putting the kids to bed. And all of that is hard!

Military life during a deployment means having to do so much on your own, when it is usually shared with a partner. It means making extra decisions without being able to discuss them thoroughly. It means sitting alone after a hard day, when the loneliness can creep in. And all of that is hard!

So, if you are having a difficult time at night, if you feel loneliness a little too much, if you are struggling without your partner by your side, you are normal. And while it might seem like this will last forever, it won’t. Deployments eventually end.

One Day, the Deployment Will Be Over

Tell yourself this. Tell yourself that one day, they will be back home with you. Remind yourself how much you have already done. Look at all those nights you have already gotten through.

Find people who get it. Chat with a friend. Dive into an old TV show you can curl up with every night. Keep a journal, and write out your feelings before bed. Blast Taylor Swift’s newest album. Breathe and remember, you got this.

This is a difficult part of military life. And you will get through it, you will!

How You Can Help A Struggling Military Spouse

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How You Can Help A Struggling Military Spouse

How You can help a struggling military spouse

You are finally feeling good about military life. Nothing too complicated, just a few trainings and your husband will be home for a while. You feel put together, have a good friend base at your duty station, and life seems pretty stable. But you have noticed something going on in your community. Not all of the spouses around you are doing okay. Some of them are struggling.

So, how do you help? What can you do to help a struggling military Spouse?

Or maybe you are not a military spouse. Perhaps you have friends who are, and you see them hurting? Maybe you would like to help them, but you don’t know the best way to do that because you have never been through a deployment or PCS yourself.

Here is what you can do to help a struggling military spouse:

Listen

Listening to a struggling military spouse is one of the best things that you can do. They might just need someone to listen. They might need to just get everything out.

Being able to vent about your situation in a safe place can be very therapeutic. I know on those days when I just couldn’t see the forest through the trees of the deployment, talking it out with a good friend was very helpful. If you have a friend who is struggling, let them know you are there to listen, even if you don’t fully understand what they are going through.

Offer

If there is anything you can offer to this spouse, please do. Offer babysitting, a meal, or even just an offer to be there when they need it. Send a care package if they live far away.

Send a note just to say you are thinking about them. These little things can really help a struggling military spouse who is not having the best of days.

Don’t Dismiss

The worst thing you could do is comment on how their situation could be worse or how they need to just get over it. Everyone handles deployments in their own way. Depending on the situation, some spouses might be going through something you simply will never have to deal with.

That doesn’t mean they don’t have a right to feel the way they do about what is going on. During a deployment, you want to be surrounded by people who are going to support you, and if you dismiss your friend’s feelings, they might push you away.

Give them space

Some spouses deal with a deployment by spending time by themselves. They might need some space to accept that the deployment has started. Make sure to give them space if they need it.

Please don’t assume that they want you there, because not everyone does. Let them know that you are there when they are ready to talk or hang out and keep busy.

Being on both sides

It’s so important that those of us who feel like we have it together don’t make those who don’t feel like they are less than. I have been on both sides of this.

I have been both the one struggling and the strong one. I have been the one pouring out my heart, and I have been the one who sat by listening as a friend poured out her own struggles.

The thing to remember about military life is that it is up and down, it is good and bad, it is happy and sad. When you are feeling good about what is going on, never forget that others are not, and never think that things will continue that way for you. You never know what the next day will bring.

An unexpected PCS? I have known people who have only been given a few weeks’ notice. A deployment that gets cancelled only to have it become uncancelled a week before they are supposed to go. A best friend having to leave when you are just about ready to start a new deployment.

Be there for your friends and the struggling military spouse. This will help out the whole military community and make life a little easier for those who need that little bit of extra love and care.

Have you ever been the struggling military spouse? How have others helped you along the way?

7 Things To Do When Military Life Gets Too Hard

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7 Things To Do When Military Life Gets Too Hard

7 Things To Do When Military Life Gets Too Hard

Military life is a rollercoaster. You will have your good days and your bad ones. You will have highs and lows. You will be waiting for orders for months and months, and then you get them, and before you know it, you are on a plane headed to your next duty station.

It’s a strange way to live your life, always waiting and then not waiting and hoping and crying and then laughing. Your emotions are all over the place.

When you hit a hard season of Military life, it can be difficult to know what to do. You want to think positively, but it is hard. You want to keep busy, but all you really want to do is hide in your bed. You want to remember that this too shall pass, but all you see is more lonely nights, more frustrating days, and years of feeling like your life can never be normal again.

So, what do you do when you hit this point? What can you do to get out of it?

Here are 7 things to do when Military life gets too hard:

  • Find a good book. This works so well for me. If I can find a good book to get lost in, I can find my happiness, and I can make it through another day. If you are not much of a reader, you might want to try audiobooks. You can usually rent them from your local library and listen to them through your phone or your tablet. Find a good series to get into, and you will have books to read for months and months.
  • Find a good friend. Sometimes you just need to hang out with a friend. Sometimes you just need to vent it out to another person. Sometimes you just can’t be alone. If you don’t have anyone to call during this time, make plans to try to meet new people. When you get out and meet others, you are more likely to make a new friend.
  • Write in your journal. This can be so helpful. If you don’t have a nice journal, go out and find one you would love to write in. Plan to write in it whenever you are feeling down. Write out all of your thoughts. No one else is going to read it. This is solely for you. Taking time to get your thoughts out on paper can really get you in a better frame of mind.
  • Think about the past. Think about everything you have been through. Think about how hard the past was and how you made it through. Doing this will allow you to see that you have been through some hard times in the past, and you will be able to get through this more challenging period of Military life. It isn’t going to last forever, just like your previous hard season didn’t last forever.
  • Find a new hobby. Sometimes, when we can focus our energy on a new skill, we can forget about how hard life is at the moment. When I knew my husband was going to be deployed again, I decided to get into gardening, hoping that I could focus more on that while he was getting ready to go and after he left. It was nice to have that as a focus, to plant new things, water them, and learn as much as I could about it. Think about something you have wanted to learn how to do, maybe this time in your Military life is the time to do it.
  • Start a blog. When Military life gets hard, you want to find others who are going through what you are. This is why starting a blog can be a good idea. You can make it a private one to just share with your friends, or you can go public and try to meet other Milspouse bloggers and readers. Having your own blog is a  great way to get your story out and see that you are not alone in your struggles.
  • See if you can change anything. When you are in this place, you can feel like the only thing you can do is get through it. Sometimes, there could be something else you can do. Think about your situation and if there is anything that you can change to make it better. I did this during our 2nd deployment. I knew going through another summer during a deployment would be very difficult. I took the boys and spent the summer in California with my family. It was a good break from what we were dealing with and helped me have more support during that time. You might not always be able to change anything but see if you can because it might help you get through it.

Have you ever felt like Military life was a little too much at times? What have you done to get through it?

 

5 Things to Do When You Hate Your Duty Station

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5 Things to Do When You Hate Your Duty Station

So you hate your duty station. You have tried. You really have. But you can’t stand it. And you won’t be PCSing anytime soon. What should you do? How do you make peace with it? Can you?

Here are some ideas:

1) Cry it out

Okay, so you hate your duty station. Please take a moment, cry about it, get it all out, because you are going to need to pull it together to create a plan. You can’t stay in the crying stage, but use it as a motivator to help you figure something out.

Like it or not, the military is going to send you where it wants to, even if you hate it. It is a good idea to figure out ways to make even the worst duty station work for you.

2) Make a plan

Okay, you had a good cry. Now it is time to make a plan. Sit down and make a list.

Try to come up with positives about the area and your home. Perhaps it’s that you are only 15 minutes from an airport, so traveling is 110% easier than it was before, when you were two hours away from one. Maybe it’s the fact that your kids have already found a fun friend base, and even if you are still working on it for yourself, that is something to celebrate.

Think of the positives. I know that is not always going to be easy, but it is there. Now, make a list of what you dislike, and once you have done that, think of anything within your power that you can do to address those issues.

You won’t be able to fix everything. I can’t fix the traffic in the Fort Campbell area, and trust me when I say it is the worst. However, there are some things you can fix; sometimes, you just need to think about it for a while. There is something you can do to improve your time at your duty station. There really is.

3) Join some groups

Okay, one of the best ways to enjoy a duty station is to find your people. And I know what some of you are thinking. You have tried to find your people, but everyone here sucks.

The reality? There is not one duty station where everyone sucks. Okay? There just isn’t. People are people, and they come in all types. I am not saying there are not sucky situations. There are. However, in many cases, getting out there and meeting new people is likely to be beneficial.

So join some groups. Whatever type of thing you are into. Do you like to read? Join a book club. Do you want to hike? Joining a hiking club. Have little kids? Join MOPS or another playgroup. Even going to the park regularly can help you meet new people.

4) Explore

Have you explored your area? Taken a day trip? Make a plan to explore some of the things in your area. It might surprise you.

Sometimes, we can become so caught up in the day-to-day that we miss what is around us. And there might be some fantastic things. Make a bucket list of fun things to explore. It should brighten your outlook.

5) Create a home

You might not be able to control the city you are in, or the way the duty station is, but you can focus on your actual home. Whether it is a condo, apartment, a house, or military housing, make it yours as much as you can. Having a comforting place to relax can go a long way.

Sometimes, you just hate your duty station, and it can feel like nothing can be done about it. During military life, you could end up somewhere you don’t want to be for many different reasons. Finding ways to make peace with where you are will go a long way. And you could be pleasantly surprised by what you find out.

5 Things to Do When You Hate Your Duty Station

The Uncertainty of Military Life As a Military Spouse

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The Uncertainty of Military Life As a Military Spouse

Life as a military spouse can feel like a rollercoaster. It is filled with uncertainty, and that can be so hard to deal with. From not knowing when your loving spouse will be in the same country as you to having no idea where you will be living six months from now.

As a military spouse, uncertainty is apart of the deal. It comes with this crazy life, and it will always be there. We need to figure out ways to handle the unknown, and not let it control our whole life.

Yes, much easier said than done but there are a few things we can do as military spouses to help make this part of military life easier to take.

Accept the Uncertainty of Military Life

Reframing our mindset can go a long way in helping us accept that so much of military life is not set in stone, and there will be a lot of time when we just don’t know what is going to happen next. If we hope that things level out and become more clear, we are going to be disappointed.

While it would be nice to know when a deployment is going to happen, we have to be prepared that dates will change, and things might not work out the way they first said they would. While it would be nice to get firm PCS orders in a timely manner, we need to remember that we might have to wait and wait, and then wait again for everything to get sorted out.

Accepting that this is a part of military life will go a long way in finding contentment and not becoming as frustrated as a military spouse.

Focus On What You Can Control

While we can’t control what the military does, we do have things in our lives that we can. Focusing on those things will go on a long way. You might not be able to control where you are going to be stationed next. You can however control aspects of your move, where you might live, and other parts to your PCS.

Focus on what you need to do next for your own life and career. Figure out what your family needs that you can give to them. Try not to dwell on what is out of your control, and focus on what is in your control.

Find Support

You are definitely not the only military spouse out there getting frustrated over the uncertainty of everything. Even others not related to the military can go through periods of time when life is so uncertain. Life in general is a mix of good and bad, waiting for something to happen, and then moving forward.

Find mentors and seasoned spouses to connect with. These people will know that life as a miltary spouse can be all over the place sometimes. They probably have tips and tricks that have worked for them that they can pass on to you.

You never ever have to walk military life alone. There is both in person and online support out there. Find it, and work with your local community to find ways to help each other through.

Never Ever Write in Pen

This is simple. Invest in some cute pencils and an erasar. Anything can be changed at any time for any reason. Hope for the best, always, but plan for change too. Sometimes, those changes are what lead you to amazing places.

As a military spouse, things can feel a bit out of your control at time, and they are. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find the joy in this life anyway. Find ways to adapt to this crazy life and you might even surprise yourself over how much you actually do have control over.

Jealousy, When You Are a Military Spouse

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Jealousy, When You Are a Military Spouse

During my time as a military spouse, I have experienced a variety of emotions. Happiness during homecoming. Sadness during a deployment. Getting excited about a new duty station or promotion. Loneliness when a friend moves away.

There are a lot of different emotions we feel during the time that our spouse is serving in the Military. One emotion that we can feel, even if we don’t want to, is jealousy.

Jealousy can happen when you least expect it. Jealousy can happen over a deployment schedule, a promotion, a pcs, or just life in general. You can be happy for someone and still feel that green-eyed monster creep up. When you are waiting for something to happen, and that very thing you are waiting for happens to someone else, you can feel jealousy coming up.

I have felt this way over the years. I feel bad when I do. I have felt this way when I felt like my husband was always deploying and others were not.

I have felt this way when someone else seemed to be holding it together better than I was.

I have felt this way over little silly things that I would never want to share with anyone.

Jealousy happens, but what we do with those feelings is what really matters.

One big lesson I have learned over the years is that military life simply isn’t fair. Some people deploy more than others. Promotions don’t always happen even if it feels like they should and some people get better duty stations than others.

Sometimes you are going to be surrounded by good friends and other times you will be the lonely one still trying to make new friends since your old friends moved away. Military life can often be one big cycle.

Some years are going to be better than others. That is the nature of Military life.

Want a free Guide for the First 30 Days of a Deployment???

If you are feeling jealous of someone else, know that it can happen, especially in Military spouse life when we know so much about what other people are doing. When our community is so small.

Maybe your spouse just left again, and theirs just got home, and that is causing you to feel jealous. Think about the times when you were experiencing what they were. Think about how you will be in their place in the future.

Try not to let everything get to you and remember that by the time you are getting ready for homecoming, they could be getting ready to send their spouse off again. You never really know.

Think about everything you have and all the amazing experiences you have been through in the past. Remember that even if it feels like everyone else has more than you do, others have less.

Try not to let jealousy rule you. Focus on what is going well in your life and work on what you don’t like. Let go of anything you don’t have control over. It simply isn’t worth your energy if you can’t do anything about it anyway.

The feeling of jealousy can creep up on you, but you don’t have to let jealousy win. Take a step back, write about what you are feeling in your journal, and know that seasons change all the time during military life. One moment you are in the midst of another deployment and the other you are on a family vacation celebrating their return.

Do you ever struggle with jealousy? What do you do about it when the green-eyed monster hits?