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How You Can Help A Struggling Military Spouse

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How You Can Help A Struggling Military Spouse

How You can help a struggling military spouse

You are finally feeling good about military life. Nothing too complicated, just a few trainings and your husband will be home for a while. You feel put together, have a good friend base at your duty station, and life seems pretty stable. But you have noticed something going on in your community. Not all of the spouses around you are doing okay. Some of them are struggling.

So, how do you help? What can you do to help a struggling military Spouse?

Or maybe you are not a military spouse. Perhaps you have friends who are, and you see them hurting? Maybe you would like to help them, but you don’t know the best way to do that because you have never been through a deployment or PCS yourself.

Here is what you can do to help a struggling military spouse:

Listen

Listening to a struggling military spouse is one of the best things that you can do. They might just need someone to listen. They might need to just get everything out.

Being able to vent about your situation in a safe place can be very therapeutic. I know on those days when I just couldn’t see the forest through the trees of the deployment, talking it out with a good friend was very helpful. If you have a friend who is struggling, let them know you are there to listen, even if you don’t fully understand what they are going through.

Offer

If there is anything you can offer to this spouse, please do. Offer babysitting, a meal, or even just an offer to be there when they need it. Send a care package if they live far away.

Send a note just to say you are thinking about them. These little things can really help a struggling military spouse who is not having the best of days.

Don’t Dismiss

The worst thing you could do is comment on how their situation could be worse or how they need to just get over it. Everyone handles deployments in their own way. Depending on the situation, some spouses might be going through something you simply will never have to deal with.

That doesn’t mean they don’t have a right to feel the way they do about what is going on. During a deployment, you want to be surrounded by people who are going to support you, and if you dismiss your friend’s feelings, they might push you away.

Give them space

Some spouses deal with a deployment by spending time by themselves. They might need some space to accept that the deployment has started. Make sure to give them space if they need it.

Please don’t assume that they want you there, because not everyone does. Let them know that you are there when they are ready to talk or hang out and keep busy.

Being on both sides

It’s so important that those of us who feel like we have it together don’t make those who don’t feel like they are less than. I have been on both sides of this.

I have been both the one struggling and the strong one. I have been the one pouring out my heart, and I have been the one who sat by listening as a friend poured out her own struggles.

The thing to remember about military life is that it is up and down, it is good and bad, it is happy and sad. When you are feeling good about what is going on, never forget that others are not, and never think that things will continue that way for you. You never know what the next day will bring.

An unexpected PCS? I have known people who have only been given a few weeks’ notice. A deployment that gets cancelled only to have it become uncancelled a week before they are supposed to go. A best friend having to leave when you are just about ready to start a new deployment.

Be there for your friends and the struggling military spouse. This will help out the whole military community and make life a little easier for those who need that little bit of extra love and care.

Have you ever been the struggling military spouse? How have others helped you along the way?

7 Things To Do When Military Life Gets Too Hard

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7 Things To Do When Military Life Gets Too Hard

7 Things To Do When Military Life Gets Too Hard

Military life is a rollercoaster. You will have your good days and your bad ones. You will have highs and lows. You will be waiting for orders for months and months, and then you get them, and before you know it, you are on a plane headed to your next duty station.

It’s a strange way to live your life, always waiting and then not waiting and hoping and crying and then laughing. Your emotions are all over the place.

When you hit a hard season of Military life, it can be difficult to know what to do. You want to think positively, but it is hard. You want to keep busy, but all you really want to do is hide in your bed. You want to remember that this too shall pass, but all you see is more lonely nights, more frustrating days, and years of feeling like your life can never be normal again.

So, what do you do when you hit this point? What can you do to get out of it?

Here are 7 things to do when Military life gets too hard:

  • Find a good book. This works so well for me. If I can find a good book to get lost in, I can find my happiness, and I can make it through another day. If you are not much of a reader, you might want to try audiobooks. You can usually rent them from your local library and listen to them through your phone or your tablet. Find a good series to get into, and you will have books to read for months and months.
  • Find a good friend. Sometimes you just need to hang out with a friend. Sometimes you just need to vent it out to another person. Sometimes you just can’t be alone. If you don’t have anyone to call during this time, make plans to try to meet new people. When you get out and meet others, you are more likely to make a new friend.
  • Write in your journal. This can be so helpful. If you don’t have a nice journal, go out and find one you would love to write in. Plan to write in it whenever you are feeling down. Write out all of your thoughts. No one else is going to read it. This is solely for you. Taking time to get your thoughts out on paper can really get you in a better frame of mind.
  • Think about the past. Think about everything you have been through. Think about how hard the past was and how you made it through. Doing this will allow you to see that you have been through some hard times in the past, and you will be able to get through this more challenging period of Military life. It isn’t going to last forever, just like your previous hard season didn’t last forever.
  • Find a new hobby. Sometimes, when we can focus our energy on a new skill, we can forget about how hard life is at the moment. When I knew my husband was going to be deployed again, I decided to get into gardening, hoping that I could focus more on that while he was getting ready to go and after he left. It was nice to have that as a focus, to plant new things, water them, and learn as much as I could about it. Think about something you have wanted to learn how to do, maybe this time in your Military life is the time to do it.
  • Start a blog. When Military life gets hard, you want to find others who are going through what you are. This is why starting a blog can be a good idea. You can make it a private one to just share with your friends, or you can go public and try to meet other Milspouse bloggers and readers. Having your own blog is a  great way to get your story out and see that you are not alone in your struggles.
  • See if you can change anything. When you are in this place, you can feel like the only thing you can do is get through it. Sometimes, there could be something else you can do. Think about your situation and if there is anything that you can change to make it better. I did this during our 2nd deployment. I knew going through another summer during a deployment would be very difficult. I took the boys and spent the summer in California with my family. It was a good break from what we were dealing with and helped me have more support during that time. You might not always be able to change anything but see if you can because it might help you get through it.

Have you ever felt like Military life was a little too much at times? What have you done to get through it?

 

5 Things to Do When You Hate Your Duty Station

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5 Things to Do When You Hate Your Duty Station

So you hate your duty station. You have tried. You really have. But you can’t stand it. And you won’t be PCSing anytime soon. What should you do? How do you make peace with it? Can you?

Here are some ideas:

1) Cry it out

Okay, so you hate your duty station. Please take a moment, cry about it, get it all out, because you are going to need to pull it together to create a plan. You can’t stay in the crying stage, but use it as a motivator to help you figure something out.

Like it or not, the military is going to send you where it wants to, even if you hate it. It is a good idea to figure out ways to make even the worst duty station work for you.

2) Make a plan

Okay, you had a good cry. Now it is time to make a plan. Sit down and make a list.

Try to come up with positives about the area and your home. Perhaps it’s that you are only 15 minutes from an airport, so traveling is 110% easier than it was before, when you were two hours away from one. Maybe it’s the fact that your kids have already found a fun friend base, and even if you are still working on it for yourself, that is something to celebrate.

Think of the positives. I know that is not always going to be easy, but it is there. Now, make a list of what you dislike, and once you have done that, think of anything within your power that you can do to address those issues.

You won’t be able to fix everything. I can’t fix the traffic in the Fort Campbell area, and trust me when I say it is the worst. However, there are some things you can fix; sometimes, you just need to think about it for a while. There is something you can do to improve your time at your duty station. There really is.

3) Join some groups

Okay, one of the best ways to enjoy a duty station is to find your people. And I know what some of you are thinking. You have tried to find your people, but everyone here sucks.

The reality? There is not one duty station where everyone sucks. Okay? There just isn’t. People are people, and they come in all types. I am not saying there are not sucky situations. There are. However, in many cases, getting out there and meeting new people is likely to be beneficial.

So join some groups. Whatever type of thing you are into. Do you like to read? Join a book club. Do you want to hike? Joining a hiking club. Have little kids? Join MOPS or another playgroup. Even going to the park regularly can help you meet new people.

4) Explore

Have you explored your area? Taken a day trip? Make a plan to explore some of the things in your area. It might surprise you.

Sometimes, we can become so caught up in the day-to-day that we miss what is around us. And there might be some fantastic things. Make a bucket list of fun things to explore. It should brighten your outlook.

5) Create a home

You might not be able to control the city you are in, or the way the duty station is, but you can focus on your actual home. Whether it is a condo, apartment, a house, or military housing, make it yours as much as you can. Having a comforting place to relax can go a long way.

Sometimes, you just hate your duty station, and it can feel like nothing can be done about it. During military life, you could end up somewhere you don’t want to be for many different reasons. Finding ways to make peace with where you are will go a long way. And you could be pleasantly surprised by what you find out.

5 Things to Do When You Hate Your Duty Station

The Uncertainty of Military Life As a Military Spouse

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The Uncertainty of Military Life As a Military Spouse

Life as a military spouse can feel like a rollercoaster. It is filled with uncertainty, and that can be so hard to deal with. From not knowing when your loving spouse will be in the same country as you to having no idea where you will be living six months from now.

As a military spouse, uncertainty is apart of the deal. It comes with this crazy life, and it will always be there. We need to figure out ways to handle the unknown, and not let it control our whole life.

Yes, much easier said than done but there are a few things we can do as military spouses to help make this part of military life easier to take.

Accept the Uncertainty of Military Life

Reframing our mindset can go a long way in helping us accept that so much of military life is not set in stone, and there will be a lot of time when we just don’t know what is going to happen next. If we hope that things level out and become more clear, we are going to be disappointed.

While it would be nice to know when a deployment is going to happen, we have to be prepared that dates will change, and things might not work out the way they first said they would. While it would be nice to get firm PCS orders in a timely manner, we need to remember that we might have to wait and wait, and then wait again for everything to get sorted out.

Accepting that this is a part of military life will go a long way in finding contentment and not becoming as frustrated as a military spouse.

Focus On What You Can Control

While we can’t control what the military does, we do have things in our lives that we can. Focusing on those things will go on a long way. You might not be able to control where you are going to be stationed next. You can however control aspects of your move, where you might live, and other parts to your PCS.

Focus on what you need to do next for your own life and career. Figure out what your family needs that you can give to them. Try not to dwell on what is out of your control, and focus on what is in your control.

Find Support

You are definitely not the only military spouse out there getting frustrated over the uncertainty of everything. Even others not related to the military can go through periods of time when life is so uncertain. Life in general is a mix of good and bad, waiting for something to happen, and then moving forward.

Find mentors and seasoned spouses to connect with. These people will know that life as a miltary spouse can be all over the place sometimes. They probably have tips and tricks that have worked for them that they can pass on to you.

You never ever have to walk military life alone. There is both in person and online support out there. Find it, and work with your local community to find ways to help each other through.

Never Ever Write in Pen

This is simple. Invest in some cute pencils and an erasar. Anything can be changed at any time for any reason. Hope for the best, always, but plan for change too. Sometimes, those changes are what lead you to amazing places.

As a military spouse, things can feel a bit out of your control at time, and they are. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find the joy in this life anyway. Find ways to adapt to this crazy life and you might even surprise yourself over how much you actually do have control over.

Jealousy, When You Are a Military Spouse

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Jealousy, When You Are a Military Spouse

During my time as a military spouse, I have experienced a variety of emotions. Happiness during homecoming. Sadness during a deployment. Getting excited about a new duty station or promotion. Loneliness when a friend moves away.

There are a lot of different emotions we feel during the time that our spouse is serving in the Military. One emotion that we can feel, even if we don’t want to, is jealousy.

Jealousy can happen when you least expect it. Jealousy can happen over a deployment schedule, a promotion, a pcs, or just life in general. You can be happy for someone and still feel that green-eyed monster creep up. When you are waiting for something to happen, and that very thing you are waiting for happens to someone else, you can feel jealousy coming up.

I have felt this way over the years. I feel bad when I do. I have felt this way when I felt like my husband was always deploying and others were not.

I have felt this way when someone else seemed to be holding it together better than I was.

I have felt this way over little silly things that I would never want to share with anyone.

Jealousy happens, but what we do with those feelings is what really matters.

One big lesson I have learned over the years is that military life simply isn’t fair. Some people deploy more than others. Promotions don’t always happen even if it feels like they should and some people get better duty stations than others.

Sometimes you are going to be surrounded by good friends and other times you will be the lonely one still trying to make new friends since your old friends moved away. Military life can often be one big cycle.

Some years are going to be better than others. That is the nature of Military life.

Want a free Guide for the First 30 Days of a Deployment???

If you are feeling jealous of someone else, know that it can happen, especially in Military spouse life when we know so much about what other people are doing. When our community is so small.

Maybe your spouse just left again, and theirs just got home, and that is causing you to feel jealous. Think about the times when you were experiencing what they were. Think about how you will be in their place in the future.

Try not to let everything get to you and remember that by the time you are getting ready for homecoming, they could be getting ready to send their spouse off again. You never really know.

Think about everything you have and all the amazing experiences you have been through in the past. Remember that even if it feels like everyone else has more than you do, others have less.

Try not to let jealousy rule you. Focus on what is going well in your life and work on what you don’t like. Let go of anything you don’t have control over. It simply isn’t worth your energy if you can’t do anything about it anyway.

The feeling of jealousy can creep up on you, but you don’t have to let jealousy win. Take a step back, write about what you are feeling in your journal, and know that seasons change all the time during military life. One moment you are in the midst of another deployment and the other you are on a family vacation celebrating their return.

Do you ever struggle with jealousy? What do you do about it when the green-eyed monster hits?

The Military Spouse

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The Military Spouse

The military spouse, the one who has chosen to stand beside a soldier, a marine, an airman, a coastie, a guardian, or a sailor. To go with them from place to place. To support them through their career choice, and beyond.

The military spouse, whose dreams of married life probably looked a little different than they are now. She thought they could buy a house down the street from her family. He thought she would always be home with him. The military spouse, whose reality is far from the expected.

The military spouse, who finds herself on an airplane with a toddler, traveling to her new home in Germany. The military spouse, whose children will be born in three different states, and two different countries. The military spouse, who gave birth with her mom by her side, instead of her partner, wishing things didn’t have to be this way.

The military spouse is told she or he is strong, but the truth is, sometimes we don’t feel that way. Sometimes we feel like we weren’t cut out to make it in this life. Sometimes we feel like the burden is too heavy, and the stress is too much.

We see how much our spouse loves what they do, whether it is going to the desert, or living on a ship. Whether it is flying an airplane, or working as a mechanic. Whatever they do in the military, we know this was the right choice, and we want to stand by their decision, even if doing so is hard.

When you marry someone who wants to serve their country by serving in the military, you also have to know that you have married someone that will have a unique job. You will have to understand that many of your friends might not get the life.

“Why can’t you guys come home for Christmas?”

“Can’t he tell them he doesn’t want to go?”

“I could never do it”

But you figure out pretty quickly that this military life is your life. And while your civilian friends might not be able to relate to everything you are going through, you know that they can be there for you, just like you can be there for them, for whatever they are going through.

The military spouse will have to go days, weeks, and even months apart from your loved one. And for some, even years. We have to solo parent, making decisions alone that would normally be made by both parents. We have to step in and step up when it isn’t always easy to do so.

The military spouse finds themselves on a journey they couldn’t have dreamed of. We find ourselves having all these adventures, from living down the street from an actual castle to finding friends that are more like family, going through life together, even if it is virtually.

The military spouse lives their military life the best way they can. Not all military spouses are the same, and we all bring our individual likes and dislikes, personalities, and gifts to the community. We can help one another out, be the community we need, and grow through our challenges together.

The military spouse is a part of a community that goes beyond anything they could have imagined. Because of this life a military spouse can say they literally have friends around the world.

The military spouse may have to wait, and that is always a difficult thing to do. But they also get to say hello again, running into their lover’s arms. They can grow through the challenges, and can find unique and creative ways to get through the deployments and other times part.

The military spouse may have to move every few years. That is not going to be easy to do. But by doing so they can learn about different parts of the country and world. They can bloom where they are stationed, and create and find community wherever they go.

The military spouse is the heart of the home. The constant in the changing waters of military life. The one who tries to pull everything all together.

The military spouse doesn’t always feel strong but can find ways to get through it all. Taking each challenge day-by-day, and reminding themselves that this is their life, and it can be a good one, filled with lots of fun memories, seasons of growth, and many amazing friends.

Love to Hit the Slopes? All About the Epic Military Pass

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Love to Hit the Slopes? All About the Epic Military Pass

Do you love skiing or snowboarding? If so, you need to check out the Epic Military Pass. It’s quite a military discount and will allow you to save on sking and snowboarding all season long.

What is the Epic Pass?

The Epic Pass is a ski resort pass for the entire season. The pass gives you access to a big network of ski resorts across the US as well as a few international locations. Vail Resorts offers this pass.

The Epic Pass includes: Vail, CO, Beaver Creek, CO, Breckenridge, CO, Keystone, CO, Crested Butte, CO, Park City, UT, Heavenly, CA/NV, Northstar, CA, Kirkwood, CA, Stevens Pass, WA, Whistler Blackcomb, BC, Stowe, VT, Okemo, VT, Mount Sunapee, NH, Mount Snow, VT, Attitash Mountain Resort, NH, Wildcat Mountain, NH, Crotched Mountain, NH, Hunter Mountain, NY, Liberty Mountain Resort, PA, Roundtop Mountain Resort, PA, Whitetail Resort, PA, Jack Frost, PA, Big Boulder, PA, Seven Springs, PA, Laurel Mountain, PA, Hidden Valley, PA, Afton Alps, MN, Mt Brighton, MI, Wilmot, WI, Alpine Valley, OH, Boston Mills, OH, Brandywine, OH, Mad River Mountain, OH, Hidden Valley, MO, Snow Creek, MO, Paoli Peaks, IN, Europe: Andermatt-Sedrun-Disentis, Crans-Montana, Australia: Perisher – 2026 Access, Falls Creek – 2026 Access, Hotham – 2026 Access.

History of the Epic Pass

Back in 1957, Pete Seibert, who had served in the 10th Mountain Division during World War II, and Earl Eaton, who had served as an Army engineer, returned to the same mountains where they had trained during the war. They came back with a new mission: “to create the most beloved mountain resorts in the world.”

In 1962, Vail Mountain opened with two chairlifts and one gondola. It would later become Vail Resorts.

The Epic Pass was launched in 2008, and the Epic Military Pass was introduced in 2018.

What are the Different Epic Pass Options?

There are several different Epic Military Passes depending on your military status. Keep in mind that the regular Epic Pass is $1,051 for adults and $537 for children for the 2025/2026 season.

With the pass, you will also receive 20% off food, lodging, group lessons, rentals, and more. Plus, discounted tickets for your friends and family.

Active duty military, active duty dependents, both adult and children, retired military, and dependents, adult and children: $185! What a deal!

Military veterans as well as dependents: Adults: $601, Children 5-17: $321

The Liberty Pass gives you unlimited access to ski and ride Keystone all season and also includes the 20% off food, lodging, group lessons, rentals, and more. It is for active duty personnel, retirees, veterans, and their dependents. Adults: $321, Children (5-17): $225.

You will need to verify your military service during the checkout process. Visit the Epic Military Pass page for more information.

Love to Hit the Slopes? All About the Epic Military Pass

How Military Spouses Can Chase Their Dreams During Military Life

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How Military Spouses Can Chase Their Dreams During Military Life

One of the hot topics in the military spouse world is how we, as military spouses, can chase our dreams during the craziness of military life. There is always a reason not to move forward, and there always seem to be obstacles in our way. But does it have to be this way?

Here are a few things you can do to still chase your dreams as a military spouse:

Go to School

Going to school is something you can do to further your own career. You can go back to school, and finish a degree you have already started. You can look to get another degree or to start college in the first place. You have a lot of options for what you can do to further your education.

Sit down and think about what you would want to do. Look at the different programs that are out there and figure out what will work for you. Take the first step and look into applying to get started. You will be glad that you did.

Write a Book

Do you know much about a topic you want to share with the world? Are you a fiction writer, ready to start putting your stories down on paper? Maybe now is the time for you to write your book. If nothing else, get your ideas out on paper and see where that leads.

These days, you don’t have to go with a traditional publisher. Many writers self-publish their own Ebooks, and that can be an option for you. Do your research on writing a book and follow your book writing dream.

Start a Business

Military spouses love to start businesses. There are different ways to do this too. You can join a direct sales business and skip some of the steps to get started. You might be a creator and can start to sell your own homemade products. For some, selling advice or career help can be a way to get going on a business.

There are so many options these days, and you are not limited by what is available locally. The whole internet is at your fingertips. Military spouses are rocking it as successful entrepreneurs and that might be the right direction for you too.

Find a new job

Maybe you are a SAHM or maybe you are in a job you are not too excited about. Finding a new job could be the answer. You can find a job that will get you closer to where you want to be in the long term.

How Military Spouses Can Chase Their Dreams During Military Life

For example, if you are good at managing your money, you might consider a career as a financial advisor. First Command explains a bit why in this article.

Don’t get discouraged about finding a job and keep looking until you find something. Sometimes this might mean thinking outside the box. You might not always end up with your dream job, your current duty station could make that impossible, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find something that will work for the current season of your life.

Sign-up for LinkedIn

LinkedIn is more than just a place to search for jobs. LinkedIn is filled with networking opportunities. You never know who you might connect with or what that relationship will lead to.

Volunteer

There are always plenty of volunteer opportunities in your community. Some might be on base or post, and some might be off. If you want to work on a particular career in the future, look at what you can do that is similar or will help you later on. Volunteer work can look excellent on a resume and can fill in gaps if you are unable to find another type of job.

Whatever you decide to do, remember, your dreams are important too. While there could be certain circumstances when you can’t do exactly what you want to do for your career or your future during certain seasons of life, that does not mean this will be the case forever. Don’t be afraid to dream big, know that you can follow your own heart, and figure out how to make things work during your spouse’s military career.

How have you worked on your own career during your time as a military spouse?