Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

military spouse

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

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Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

We all need people. People we can depend on, people we can connect with, and people we can have meaningful relationships with.

We might make a new friend, and find out they are moving in three months.

We might have the perfect group of friends, knowing we will PCS in just a few months.

We might be brand new to our duty station and feel overwhelmed with starting over yet another time.

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

The truth is, we need to find these meaningful friendships to help us through our military spouse lives.

Having a deployment buddy makes the time go by that much faster. Knowing you have people to invite over for a pizza night when he has 24-hour CQ, your three-year-old refuses to pee in the potty, and five-month-old starts waking up every two hours again.

Finding your people will get you through some of your hardest times as a military spouse. People you can depend on, people who get this life, and people you can help in return.

Finding those meaningful friendships isn’t always easy, and sometimes they can take longer than we want to find the right person, but here are some things to think about when it comes to finding meaningful friendships in military spouse life:

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

Open up about your struggles

This one is hard for me, so very hard, but when you can open up about your struggles, you can bond with others who have been through them too. Maybe it is a long deployment you didn’t think you could get through, maybe you had a miscarriage last year, maybe your marriage is struggling, and you simply don’t know what to do about it.

Opening up and sharing everything to everyone you meet is not a good idea, but if you feel like you can trust the person, opening up can be a way to connect and start the journey of becoming much closer friends.

A year is still enough time

Having five to ten years or more of in-person friendship is ideal, that isn’t our reality as military spouses who move every few years. What can happen is that you can meet someone, be around them for a year, and continue your friendship across the miles.

You can text, email, and video chat. You can plan to see each other and be intentional about connecting even though you are far away. Plus, you never know when the military might bring you guys back around to the same duty station in the future.

Stay in touch

If a friend moves away, make sure you take the time to reach out to them. Send a text asking how they are doing, comment on their photos on Facebook, or send an email asking them about the next stage of their life.

This can be difficult sometimes. Life does move on. People get involved at their new duty station. But that doesn’t mean that when you say goodbye to a friend, that has to be the last time you connect with them.

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

Be a listening ear

Be there for people. Offer up a listening ear. Be trustworthy so that you can connect with others. Being there for others will go a long way in helping you find those meaningful relationships that you are looking for.

Make sure you are getting out there

Are you getting out of the house looking for ways to make friends? Did you try once and then said forget it? Sometimes we try to make friends once, it doesn’t work out, and we don’t want to try again.

I would encourage you to keep going. At a military installation, people are always moving in, there are always new people to meet. It is normal to get discouraged when new friends aren’t happening as soon as you want them to, but you have to keep putting yourself out there.

If you are on the shy side or can’t seem to get yourself to go places, try online. There are probably a lot of different Facebook groups out there for your duty station. Some might be more general and others hobby or age specific.

Remember, so many of the other military spouses at your duty station are looking for meaningful friendships too. You are not alone in this. Try to get out there, meet others, and do what you can to find friends, no matter where you are stationed, or how long you will be there.

Where did you meet some of your best friends???

We Are Military Spouses

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We Are Military Spouses

Being a military spouse is quite the journey. There is nothing quite like being married to someone serving in the military. This way of life is unique, filled with the good and the bad.

We Are Military Spouses

As military spouses…

We jump right into this life, dating someone who wears the uniform. Knowing that if we are going to get serious with them, we would have to be on board with a different type of lifestyle.

We marry civilians, and over the years, things changed and we stand by them as they sign papers to join the military.

We stay home, they go off to basic training, both of us not knowing what to expect, and hoping we made the right choice.

We pack up our first home, after waiting on orders for our first duty station, unsure how a California girl is going to do in Kansas.

We Are Military Spouses

We fly over the ocean for the first time, arriving in a city in Germany, ready to spend the rest of our 20s in a different country.

We move into military housing, unsure how we were going to make this tiny home work, but we will somehow figure it all out.

We stand by as the deployment orders come, knowing they will come again in the future too.

We comfort our friends as they say goodbye to their spouses, knowing that our turn is coming soon too.

We Are Military Spouses

We try to understand what all the terms mean, but even after years as a military spouse, some still confuses us.

We go to FRG meetings, even when we are not sure what to expect.

We leave our comfort zone because we know it might be the only way to make some friends who understand this life.

We feel left out of family events, since they are 2,000 miles away, but we take comfort in finding family-like friends at our duty stations.

We Are Military Spouses

We are never really sure how long we will be a military spouse, the struggle over re-listing is real.

We get frustrated with TRICARE but are thankful to have it all the same.

We hope and pray that the military doesn’t mess up our pay, and check the LES religiously just in case it does.

We start new hobbies, and learn new skills, trying to stay busy during the deployments.

We Are Military Spouses

We Are Military Spouses

We want to work on our own careers and get frustrated when the military makes that difficult.

We still try to do what we can, even if it seems impossible.

We are stay at home moms, work at home moms, and working out of the home moms.

We are stay at home dads, work at home dads, and working out of the home dads.

We Are Military Spouses

We come from different backgrounds and can learn a lot from one another.

We know that not everyone grew up like we did, and we have a window into other ways of doing things.

We are young, barely out of high school and we are more seasoned, turning 40 during our spouse’s 6th deployment.

We have been to college, or want to go, and hope that the military will help make that happen.

We Are Military Spouses

We have five children, or three children, or one little baby.

We don’t have children and don’t intend to ever change that.

We have dogs that stand by us through the hardest of days, and cats that piss us off, even though we love them so much.

We live on post, we live off post and make the best of any housing situation.

We Are Military Spouses

We Are Military Spouses

We have lived overseas for half of marriage and hope to go back someday soon.

We are scared to death to get orders to Europe but know it will be an experience of a lifetime.

We want to go to Hawaii, it’s always been a dream, and now with the military, going over there can happen.

We are not sure we will ever be able to be stationed OCONUS, but hope that it can happen with our next PCS.

We Are Military Spouses

We worry when our loved one is in a dangerous place.

We know, no news is good news, but that is hard to remember sometimes.

We learn OPSEC, PERSEC, and try to remember both even in the midst of a difficult deployment.

We know who we can lean on, and we reach out to others going through the same type of situation.

We Are Military Spouses

We welcome back our soldier, airmen, sailor, marine, or coastie, having spent hours finding the perfect outfit.

We know that the outfit doesn’t matter, just being back in their arms again does.

We worry about after the deployment, not knowing what to expect.

We try to be there for our spouse as much as possible, as they try to make their way during reintegration.

We Are Military Spouses

We Are Military Spouses

We solo parent, even with three toddlers under our foot.

We give birth without our partner, hoping we can video chat sometime during labor.

We depend on our friends, and family members to help when they can but we know we have to do a lot of it by ourselves.

We can’t help but laugh when Murphy’s law hits hard, that first day of deployment.

We Are Military Spouses

We dream, we hope, we pray…

We cry when things get hard, we comfort when they get hard for our neighbor.

We know that things could always be worse, and we know that things can and will get better when we are in a difficult place.

We grow stronger through it all and know that someday we will appreciate what we have been through if it hasn’t happened already.

We Are Military Spouses…the partners of those who serve our country. The ones back at home. The ones who wait.

How long have you been a military spouse???

 

Welcome Them Home

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Welcome Them Home

Welcome Them Home

I’m so excited to be on the blog today you guys! Julie offered to let me use her platform to share with you about my non-profit because we both believe that you guys would totally be into it because THIS IS FOR YOU! Here goes…

My name is Bethany Cox and I am the founder of the non-profit Welcome Them Home. I wrote a little about it on our website but I thought I ould share that here with you as well.

Welcome Them Home is simple.

Welcome Them Home

It is a network of photographers who donate their time and skills to service members and their families as a thank you for the sacrifices that are being made for our country. Each photographer in the network has agreed to photograph your service member’s homecoming, free of charge.

We want to thank YOU for your sacrifices, be it on the home-front or abroad. Our goal is to become a household name for military families so that they know they have the option to have their Homecoming moment photographed, free of charge.

The story behind the non-profit is this: I was riding in the car with my husband and his brother. We were talking about wanting to do more with our lives than just pursue money and happiness, (which are pretty normal and perfectly fine pursuits). We wanted to serve others but in a creative way. I mentioned that it was on my heart to photograph military homecomings for free.

They encouraged me and said that I should do that… but I should do it on a large scale! Yes… I could photograph them, but only in a small area of the country. There are a lot of bases out there and a WHOLE lot of homecomings happening all over. Why not spread the net wide? I came up with the idea to create a network of photographers that would all agree to photograph homecomings for free.

Welcome Them Home

I like the idea of simplicity and I also liked the idea of this thing being able to run itself without me having to have my hands in every single aspect of it. I decided to take myself out of the equation almost completely by simply creating a website where families (you guys!!) can connect with photographers with no middle man, (ie: me). You simply find a photographer that you like in the area where your homecoming will happen and voila!

This was way back in 2012! Since then the network grew so much that I wasn’t able to keep things updated. Recently, I decided to start a fundraiser to help me create a website that would function a lot better for everyone.

Photographers would create accounts and be able to update their locations and details so that you guys could easily find them through a search function. Right now we are on a small break while we raise the money to rebuild the site, but once it’s done, we will be open again for you to use us!!

Welcome Them HomePlease do keep us in mind for your next Family Readiness Group or even for your own homecoming moment. I know that the photographer in the non-profit LOVE being able to do this for you guys, and many of them are military spouses or service members themselves.

If you can donate, please do, but the most important thing that will help us the most is for you to spread the word about what “Welcome Them Home” offers. Hopefully one day, everyone who wants this moment photographed, will know exactly where to look for a photographer.

Welcome Home Website: http://welcomethemhome.org/
Welcome Home Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/WelcomeThemHome/

Can Raising Your Kids Away From Family Be A Good Thing?

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Can Raising Your Kids Away From Family Be A Good Thing?

This past weekend, the article, Why Raising Kids Without Family Nearby Sucks by Scary Mommy was being shared on Facebook.

I could really relate to most of that post, as many other military spouses can too.

Can Raising Your Kids Away From Family Be A Good Thing?

We have not lived near family since my oldest son, who is almost 14, was six months old. We have never really had local family to help us along the way. My kids don’t know our families as well as they could. There are a lot of things they are missing out on because of living far from home.

Some of my friends do live near their family. I see their parents stepping in for different situations. They seem to always have a backup. If dad has to work, and mom has to take one kid to an appointment right when school gets out, a family member can pick up the other kids.

I see how friends can attend family birthday parties, and go out with their parents on Mother’s day, and Father’s day. I see how grandparents go to all the sporting games, school plays, and other events that kids take part in.

While some of our family has been able to come and visit and experience some of that, it hasn’t been the norm.

When I think about all of this, when I think about how our lives would be different if we lived closer to family, I couldn’t help but wonder if I am looking at that through rose colored glasses? Maybe it wouldn’t be as wonderful as I think it would be? Maybe, for my personality, it would drive me nuts? Maybe I am thinking all of this to cope with the fact that it might not ever work out to live near family?

When I was growing up, I wanted to get out and explore other places. I wanted to know what living somewhere else was like. I wanted to experience something completely different. Because of this, I moved about nine hours away from home for college. Then, my husband and I moved to Kentucky in 2005. The Army took us to Germany, and then Tennessee. None of these places are like where I grew up in Southern California.

These days, we have a home here in Tennesse, in a military friendly city, that we usually enjoy living in.

Can Raising Your Kids Away From Family Be A Good Thing?

We are over 2,000 miles from most of our family. And sometimes I like that. 

Don’t get me wrong. I miss my family like crazy. I wish I could be there too most days. To go to my dad’s concerts, to meet up during the week for lunch with my mom, to be there as my brother starts a family. I hate missing so much.

But the reality is, I am not sure what it would be like to live near my family. I have never really done it except for extended trips. I don’t know what it is like to be able to see them all the time or to have such easy access.

Do I get along so well with my family because I don’t live close? Would there be drama if I was? I just don’t know.

So on those days when I am feeling bad because I am not raising my kids near family, I try to think of the positives of this way of life. The quiet Christmas mornings, just our family of five. Being able to parent the way I want without a lot of well-meaning opinions thrown into the mix. Being able to vacation in Southern California vs trying to raise a family. Because I am not even sure how people do that these days and a lot of my friends have moved out of state for cheaper places to live anyway.

Military families can have amazing experiences during their time in the service.

They can live down the road from a castle in Germany. They can be stationed near the beaches of Hawaii. They can live off the California coast, or have the mountains of Colorado as a backdrop. And a lot of these experiences come at the cost of not being able to live near family. Of missing out on too much. Of being the out-of-town people who visit once in a while.

And maybe, in the end, there is no perfect way to do this. Perhaps each type of life comes with its own set of pros and cons. And perhaps those are different based on who you are and what you want in life.

Can Raising Your Kids Away From Family Be A Good Thing?

And when you are raising your kids away from family, you find a way to make things work.

You have to rely on other people, which can be hard, but which can also help you grow relationships you wouldn’t otherwise have. You learn different skills and work to make a good life for your kids, even if extended family isn’t the biggest part. You learn to adjust and figure out a way to make it through.

As for us, I really don’t know what the future holds. Somedays I want to move back to the west coast, and others I am perfectly fine here in Tennessee.

What about you? Have you ever lived near family? Did you like it? Do you dream of a life where you can?

Why the Military Life Isn’t Like Any Other Life

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Why the Military Life Isn’t Like Any Other Life

The military life is a unique life. It just is. Saying it is “just like any other life” doesn’t make any sense.

Why the Military Life Isn't Like Any Other Life

I wish serving in the military was just like any other job, but it isn’t.

I wish my husband hadn’t missed my son’s birth and pretty much his entire first year. Most parents don’t have to do that, and the thought of doing so would be unbelievable. But missing a whole year of a child’s life is not uncommon in the military world.

I wish that none of my friends ever had to PCS. Saying goodbye to your good friends is the worst. While everyone does experience friends moving away, or even moving themselves, the military does so on a regular basis. This is one of the many things we experience as a military spouse.

The Military Life Isn't Like Any Other Life

I wish serving in the military was just like any other job, but it isn’t.

I wish my husband had been able to have been there during the difficult years of adapting to an autism diagnosis. That was such a difficult time for us. My son really did need two parents in the house but he only had one. I did the best that I could, but there was a big loss there, one that was felt by all of us.

I wish so many spouses were not hurting because of a military-related loss. I have friends whose husbands never came home from deployments. I have friends whose husbands came home, only to be completely different people. There are so many military families out there struggling, trying to heal from the wounds of war, whatever they might be.

I wish serving in the military was just like any other job, but it isn’t.

I wish that when war was being talked about I could just ignore it because it didn’t affect me at all. But it does. What the US does overseas affects us, military families, greatly. There is no way to turn that off. We can’t do that like others can. We can’t just ignore it. We worry about war, new wars, and wars we have been in for years.

I am not sure where the idea came from that military life is simply a job, just like any other job. While there are plenty of other difficult jobs out there, each with their own struggles, the military life is a unique life, not like any other. And that is why we have the support systems we do.

As military spouses, we simply can’t go through this life alone. We need our people. Whether our people is a group of friends, a best friend that we can always talk to, or online friends we met through a support group. We reach out because we need to find people who understand what being a military spouse is all about, or at least listen to us as we make our way through this life.

The Military Life Isn't Like Any Other Life

The military affects the whole family. In one way or another.

As a National Guard spouse, I can go for periods of time without thinking about the military. But then, I hear about summer AT dates, or possible deployments. I wash his uniform and I remember every time I had to say goodbye to him while he was wearing it. The military is always there.

When my husband was active duty, deploying over and over, the military was even more so in our lives. When they told us my husband might have to deploy, days before my due date. When he was overseas and the deployment got extended, so he would be gone for over a year.

When duty calls, they must go, and we as spouses support them as they do.

The military is very much a part of our lives, there is no way to deny that. This is a completely different experience than a spouse who works a more typical 9-5 job. The military life is its own beast, for good and for bad.

I wish serving in the military was just like any other job, but it isn’t.

How has your spouse joining the military changed your life? 

 

This Giveaway for Military Spouses is Fantastic

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Five Military Spouses Can Win a Free Event Planning Franchise!

This Giveaway for Military Spouses is Fantastic!

And I wanted to let you all know about it 🙂

Five Military Spouses Can Win a Free Event Planning Franchise!

Merritt Island, FL, April 25, 2018 – EventPrep®, Inc. is launching its inaugural OPERATION: EventPrep® $200,000 Franchise GiveAway for Military Spouses on May 1, 2018, giving five deserving active duty military spouses the opportunity to join the ranks as an EventPrep® franchise owner at no cost.

The job hunt is over for military spouses who have difficulty finding a sustainable job because of frequent Permanent Change of Station (PCS) moves. Home-based event planning franchise EventPrep® is offering a unique opportunity where military spouses can begin a new career in the hospitality industry as a small business owner, providing professional event planning and management services with no territory limitations. The GiveAway ends Monday, September 14, 2018.

“Military spouses are the perfect candidates to become event planning franchise owners,” said Paul Trapp, EventPrep’s Chief Executive Officer and Service Disabled Veteran. “Owning a home-based event planning franchise such as EventPrep® affords military spouses the flexibility to start and keep a new career as they move around the world while using their personal travel experiences and connections as a foundation for growing their business.”

The 2016 Military Lifestyle Survey conducted by the nonprofit Blue Star Families, a military family engagement organization and support network, found that less than half of military families with a civilian spouse earned two incomes and that employment is one of the top issues of concern among active duty spouses.

Five Military Spouses Can Win a Free Event Planning Franchise!

The EventPrep® $200,000 Franchise GiveAway for Military Spouses is open to spouses of active military service members from any of the five branches of the U.S. military (Army, Marine Corps,
Navy, Air Force and Coast Guard). It’s easy to enter!

✓ STEP 1 – Complete Easy Entry Form at www.EventPrepFranchise.com/GiveAway by July 15, 2018.
✓ STEP 2 – Submit on-line Candidate Profile Form by July 25, 2018.
✓ STEP 3 – Top 25 candidates announced on July 31, 2018.
✓ STEP 4 –Top 25 candidates create & submit a 2 minute “Why Me” video and complete a Personality Assessment by August 17, 2018.
✓ STEP 5 – Videos from the Top 10 candidates announced and posted online on August 20, 2018.

America can vote from August 20, 2018 through September 14, 2018.

The five GRAND PRIZE WINNERS of OPERATION: EventPrep® $200,000 Franchise GiveAway for Military Spouses will be announced Monday, September 17, 2018, and each will receive a complimentary EventPrep® franchise valued at $40,000.

The new franchise “recruits” will report for active EventPrep® duty November 4-9, 2018, when they will participate in a 6-day Franchise Training Bootcamp at the EventPrep® national training facility in Northern Virginia. Grand Prize Winners will be reimbursed up to $500 for their travel and provided with complimentary accommodations during the training program. Once training is completed, winners will be armed with all the tools, skills and knowledge they need to begin their journey as a full-service event planning and management small business.

About EventPrep®, Inc.

EventPrep® is a forward-thinking full-service event planning and management company with our corporate headquarters located in Central Florida. Our reach is global and our primary focus is to save our clients, time, money & anxiety while planning unforgettable events. We view ourselves as partners with our customers, our employees, our community & our environment. We are a globally recognized brand name, capitalizing on our in-depth industry experience & leveraging our industry relationships. Our mission is moderate growth, annual profitability & maintaining our sense of humor.

EventPrep® makes the business of event planning and management streamlined, simple and efficient for the client. The EventPrep® franchise is designed to replicate our proven business model into new markets with professionals who exemplify the same motivation to serve and the willingness to go the extra mile for the client. We offer franchisees the systems, support and business model; franchisees bring the willingness to learn, execute and build.

We are a company founded by Veterans and our company philosophies, work ethic, integrity and commitment to service are derived from our time in uniform. We can’t express enough gratitude and thanks to others who have served our great country and the families that support them.

To learn more about how you can be in business for yourself, but not by yourself with an EventPrep®Franchise, visit www.EventPrepFranchise.com. Like EventPrep® on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/EventPrepFranchise/ and LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/company/eventprep-franchise-inc/ and follow EventPrep® on Twitter at @EventPrepFran.

Abbreviated Rules: OPERATION: EventPrep® $200,000 Franchise GiveAway for Military Spouses begins May 1, 2018 at 12:01 a.m. EST and ends September 14, 2018 at 11:59 p.m. EST. Void where prohibited by law. Must be 18 or older at the start of the GiveAway, have a computer and internet connection, be a legal resident of the United States or U.S. Territories, a legal spouse of a member in good standing of one of the five branches of the U.S. military who is on active duty as of the start date of the GiveAway and through the duration of the GiveAway end date. Grand Prize Winners will be given an EventPrep® home-based franchise valued at forty thousand dollars ($40,000). Grand Prize Winners must commit to 10-year ownership of an EventPrep® franchise and attendance at a 6-day Franchisee Training Bootcamp in Northern Virginia. Grand prize winners may be subject to federal, state and local taxes – please consult a tax professional for advice. Only one (1) submission per Candidate.

To enter, complete the online entry form on our website (www.EventPrepFranchise.com/GiveAway). Submissions must comply with the Submission Guidelines in the Official Rules. Only complete, valid submissions will be accepted. Sponsored by EventPrep Franchise, Inc., 266 Via De La Reina, Merritt Island, FL 32953.

See [www.EventPrepFranchise.com/GiveAway] for Complete Official Rules.

Five Military Spouses Can Win a Free Event Planning Franchise!

OPERATION EventPrep $200,000 Franchise GiveAway For Military Spouses

Complete Official Rules

Major GiveAway Dates:
• GiveAway begins at 12:01 a.m. eastern standard time, May 1, 2018.
• Easy Entry Form must be submitted by 11:59 p.m. eastern standard time, July 15, 2018.
• Candidate Profile must be submitted by 11:59 p.m. eastern standard time, July 25, 2018.
• Top 25 Candidates will be notified by 11:59 p.m. eastern standard time, July 31, 2018.
• Top 25 Candidates must submit a “Why Me” video and complete a Personality Assessment by 11:59 p.m. eastern standard time, August 17, 2018.
• Top 10 Candidates will have their video submission posted online by 11:59 p.m. eastern standard time, August 20, 2018 for America to vote.
• Online voting closes and GiveAway ends at 11:59 p.m. eastern standard time, September 14, 2018.
• Top 5 Grand Prize Winners will be announced by 11:59 p.m. eastern standard time, September 17, 2018.

Qualifications: Must be 18 or older at the start of the GiveAway, have a computer and internet connection, be a legal resident of the United States or U.S. Territories, a legal spouse of a member in good standing of one of the five branches of the U.S. military who is on active duty as of 12:01 a.m. eastern standard time, May 1, 2018 and throughout the duration of the GiveAway until 11:59 p.m. eastern standard time, September 17, 2018.

Submission and Notification Methods: Participants shall submit their Easy Entry Form and Candidate Profile via the OPERATION EventPrep Franchise GiveAway web portal. Top 25 Candidates shall submit a “Why Me” video via email to freefranchise@eventprep.com which includes a link to the Candidates video that has been posted on YouTube.com. Top 25 Candidates shall access the Personality Assessment via email from freefranchise@eventprep.com which includes a secure link to their individual Personality Assessment form. Confirmation receipts will be emailed to Candidates from freefranchise@eventprep.com upon receipt of the following: Easy Entry Form, Candidate Profile, “Why Me” video and Personality Assessment.

Prizes: Each Grand Prize Winner will be given one (1) EventPrep® home-based franchise valued at forty thousand dollars ($40,000). Each Grand Prize Winner will be provided an EventPrep® Franchise Disclosure Document and Franchise Agreement and allowed no less than fifteen (15) calendar days to review the documents. The documents outline proprietary details of the EventPrep® business model including a 10-year commitment to own an EventPrep® home-based franchise and attendance at a 6-day Franchisee Training Bootcamp in Northern Virginia. Each Grand Prize Winner will be reimbursed up to five hundred dollars ($500) for travel and meal expenses to attend the Franchisee Training Bootcamp November 4-9, 2018. Hotel accommodations during the Franchisee Training Bootcamp shall be provided to each Grand Prize Winner as complimentary.

Legal: Void where prohibited by law. Only one (1) submission per Candidate. Submissions must comply with the Submission Guidelines in the Official Rules. Only complete, valid submissions will be accepted. Sponsored by EventPrep Franchise, Inc., 266 Via De La Reina, Merritt Island, FL 32953. Grand prize winners may be subject to federal, state and local taxes – please consult a tax professional for advice.

 

For the Military Spouse, When The Deployment Begins

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For the Military Spouse, When The Deployment Begins

When the deployment orders come, and the bags start getting packed, we watch, we cry, we understand that this is what they signed up for.

To leave, to deploy, to go too far away and do what they are trained to do.

For the Military Spouse, When The Deployment Begins

When the deployment begins, we start the countdown, we think about the days ahead, we find ways to power through.

We look at our children, we know this will be hard for them too, but we power on, we know this is what we have to do.

We know that deployments don’t last forever, but we also know that the days between saying goodbye and hello again will always seem too long.

We may have been through a deployment before, but that won’t make this deployment any easier.

When the deployment begins, we hope that this time we won’t have as many breakdowns.

That this time we will figure out the right mix of busy, and that we will get through better than the last time.

We know that we have friends we can depend on, but we worry they won’t truly understand. What if this deployment is the one that breaks us? What if even a friend’s hug and a friend’s ear won’t be enough?

We hope that we can help others because we have been through this all before. But we also know that we will have our share of difficult days, that doesn’t stop just because this isn’t the first time we had to say goodbye.

When the deployment begins, we start our daily prayers.

Worrying that they won’t be enough. Worrying that nothing we can do can ensure they will come back when they are supposed to come back.

We try not to think about all that. We try to think about how brave our spouse is and how amazing life can be to be married to someone who serves in the military.

We are proud of them. Proud that they signed up. Proud that they will deploy. Proud that they put on the uniform to help protect our country.

For the Military Spouse, When The Deployment Begins

When the deployment begins, we walk around our home, knowing that everything from their smile to their dirty laundry will be missed during the next few months.

We know that this deployment is just one of our struggles. That this deployment isn’t coming at a good time, but we also wonder if there would ever be a good time for us to say goodbye for nine months.

We understand why they have to go, sorta. Not everything makes sense, but we know that there is a mission and a reason for them to have to go where they have to go.

We make plans with friends, we join groups, we stay busy. We do this because we know how much it works, we do this because we have to.

When the deployment begins, we walk around in a fog, but thankfully that only lasts for a couple of days.

We soon figure out how to carry on, how to get up and get moving, how to find ways to thrive, even in the mist of surviving.

We plan care packages, we write love letters, and we plan for the future.

We think about after the deployment, when things will be normal again, and then wonder how normal they will be after yet another deployment.

When the deployment begins, we don’t have any idea about how we will grow during this time apart.

We hope that we can become stronger so that in the future this won’t be so hard.

We know that even if we do become strong through this deployment, that we will always struggle when we say goodbye to our husband or wife.

We know that starting a deployment is never going to be easy.

For the Military Spouse, When The Deployment Begins

When the deployment begins, life can seem upside down.

We now have a new normal to figure out. One that won’t be easy. One that might not even make any sense.

We can work hard to keep things the same, especially for the kids. But this doesn’t always work, you know there is something missing.

We can do our best to stay positive through everything, but some days we will just want to cry, and we need to remind ourselves that crying is okay to do sometimes.

When the deployment begins, we can look ahead at the time apart and take advantage of what it has to offer.

We can work on ourselves, we can work on our hobbies, we can go to school, we can start a new job, we can do so many things that might be harder to accomplish when they are home.

We can find the benefits to this situation, even though a deployment has plenty to get upset about.

We tell ourselves that we are going to kick Murphy’s law to the curb, and then laugh because of how crazy things get anyway.

When the deployment begins, we have the choice to make plans to make it through or walk away. 

We might not know how we are going to handle this, but we know that we want to because we love our service member and as a military spouse we know this is what we have to do.

The truth is, to get through a deployment, we need to figure out what works for us.

We can make lists; we can make plans, we can figure things out so that the days will go by and we can deal with whatever comes our way.

For the Military Spouse, When The Deployment Begins

If you have just started a deployment, think about everything you would need to help you get through. Reach out to other spouses and find people to depend on. Know that you are not the only one feeling like you are feeling right now. Deployments can be rough. But you will be able to find ways to get through, even if you have to take things one day at a time.

Looking for more deployment blog posts? 

15 Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

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15 Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

15 Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

Military life is a world of its own. From navigating deployments to moving every few years. What better way to explain military life than in a meme.

Here are 15 memes that explain what military life is really like:

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

Seriously! Some days have you crying in your pillow, that is just the way things go. Luckily, not every day is like that.

 

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

The pre-deployment period is never easy. You might end up fighting a lot and not even sure why. Both of you are stressed, and as much as you hate saying so, you are ready for them to go. Only because you want to start your deployment countdown to get them back home.

 

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

Sometimes you just have to say the truth, deployments suck.

 

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

Don’t feel like you have to be the perfect military spouse. For one thing, they don’t exist. For another, you will burn yourself out trying. Just be yourself as much as possible. It’s okay to ask for help, cry into your pillow, or just rethink the way you are going to get through deployments.

 

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

Over time we get more used to saying goodbye for longer periods. They are not always easy, but we do know that saying goodbye for months at a time can be the norm in our military lives.

 

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

Wine. It’s what gets you through. Is there ever enough?

 

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

Keep the lines of communication as open as you can, even if that means writing letters and emails. You won’t always be able to talk in person or on the phone, but you can still work on your relationship. Military marriage brings up extra stresses that other couples don’t have to deal with, but if you put your marriage first, that will go a long way in helping the two of you stay connected through the miles.

 

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

We all need friends, even if it takes us some time to make them.
Keep putting yourself out there, and you will find your tribe. 

 

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

You never know how strong you are until you have to go through something you didn’t think you could. This is so true for deployments and other parts of military life. We go through things we didn’t think we would ever have to go through. We do it because we love our service member and want to support them as a military spouse.

 

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

There is always so much debate about OPSEC in military spouse circles. Should you say this, should you say that? But in the end, just be careful and if you are not sure if you should post about something, lean on the side of not posting it.

 

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

We, military spouses, love those 5-minute phone calls because they are better than no phone calls. Although, a 45-minute photo call is even better.

 

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

How many times have we been asked for our spouse’s SSN? Do you even still remember yours?

 

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

Binge watching is an excellent way to get through those lonely deployment nights. After the kids go to bed, the nights can get quite lonely. Turn on a new show and get to binging.

 

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

Saying goodbye is never easy. Here are some tips to help you if you have to say goodbye to your spouse.

 

Memes That Explain What Military Life is Really Like

One thing that can help you through this crazy military life is knowing that you are not alone. You are not the only one going through a deployment. You are not the only one that has to move away from their hometown to a place across the country. You are not the only one who has to move right when you have found your best friends.

Enjoy these memes and remember, you got this military life!