Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

Meet Me at the Lake by Carley Fortune

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Meet Me at the Lake by Carley Fortune

Last summer I took debut author Carley Fortune’s first book, Every Summer After, on our beach trip. And I fell in love with the story. Every Summer After is the story of two childhood sweethearts, coming together again as adults, on a lake, with cottages and family.

I am such a sucker for any book that takes place at a lake or a beach house, plus, childhood friends or sweethearts coming back together as adults. And Every Summer After, and Meet Me at the Lake had both!

This post does contain affiliate links!

When I heard that Carley Fortune was releasing her 2nd book, Meet Me at the Lake, I was super excited. This book also took place at a lake, at a resort owned by the main character’s family. Fern Brookbanks is the new owner of the resort after the unexpected passing of her mother. She is trying to figure out what is next in her life and what path she should take.

As Fern questions if she should stay at the resort and for how long, a man named Will Baxter checks into the resort. Fern’s past comes right back to her as she realizes this was the Will she met 10 years before, at a coffee shop in Toronto. Back then they ended up spending 24 hours together, with a promise to meet back at her family’s resort one year later. Only, she was the only one that showed.

I think when an author has a very successful book come out, they always have a bit of a challenge with the next one. They need the book to be similar enough to the previous one but not so similar it’s a copy with just different character names. I believe that Carley Fortune nailed it, and wrote another amazing and creative book.

Meet Me at the Lake was a different story from Every Summer After, even though the book also had some of the same elements. They both had some type of event that happened that we don’t get to hear about until later on in the book, and they both went back and forth between now and years before.

Overall I gave Meet Me at the Lake four stars and Every Summer After 5 stars. I loved Carley Fortune’s debut book just a little bit more. But, Meet Me at the Lake was such a fun summer read. I totally recommend this book.

You can purchase the book here. Or check to see if your local library has a copy.

5 Reasons Why the Sims 4 is My Favorite Video Game

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5 Reasons Why the Sims 4 is My Favorite Video Game

This post does contain affiliate links!

The year was 2000 and I loved playing the game Sim City. The goal of the game was to build your own city, run it, make enough money to do so, and keep your citizens happy. When I heard that there was going to be a game where we could play those little Sims citizens on an individual basis, I knew I had to get it and then I did.

I fell in love with the game right away. Over the years I have enjoyed the evolution and all the new gameplay that has been added.

When COVID started, I only had the Sims 4 base game. I bought Cats and Dogs on a whim and started playing the game on a regular basis. Over the months and years that have followed, I have added quite a few of the expansion packs. I think Seasons is my favorite, although there are quite a few I really enjoy playing with. Some add a lot more to the game than others.

If you are curious about the Sims 4, know that it is one of the best cozy games around. I can pull it up and dive into a variety of challenges, play with a host of different families, and truly relax and let go of the anxiety life brings. Here are 5 reasons why the Sims 4 is my favorite video game.

Shop for Sims 4 Expansion, Game, and Stuff Packs!

It’s a virtual doll house

The Sims 4 is like playing with a virtual doll house. You have your sims and can make them do whatever you want. Beyond telling them what to do, there is some game play that can create a virtual world with jobs, relationships, frustrations, and real-life experiences. You can add in your favorite celebrities, or create your own people from your imagination. It’s almost limitless.

The challenges

There are some really creative Sims 4 players out there who have created challenges for us to play, complete with rules and all. The 100 Baby Challenge, created for Sims 4 by Snarky Witch, and The Legacy Challenge by Pinstar, are my favorite and I tend to go back and forth between those two challenges, or similar ones.

Challenges allow you to have a focus and a mission of some kind while playing. This can add to gameplay and make things a bit more fun. You can also catch some of your favorite YouTubers playing these challenges too.

Watching the Sims grow

There is just something about starting a player as a baby and watching them grow through every stage. With the Sims 4, you can start a player as an infant, watch them turn into a baby, then toddler, child, teenager, young adult, adult, and elder. This is what makes the Legacy and even the 100 Baby Challenge so fun for me. I can start with a baby and then eventually play their grandchildren or great grandchildren.

Gardening

No matter what challenge I am playing, what world I have my Sims in, or what job I have them do, I will always have them garden. I love it so much, even with some of the glitches that come up with the gardens. There is such a variety of plants you can grow and with the Seasons pack you can have a lot of fun with the changing of the weather and seasons. Strawberries might be my favorite.

Different packs, different gameplay

I don’t own every pack that has come out for the Sims 4, but I own quite a few. Kits are new, and are the smallest type of pack, then Stuff Packs, Game Packs, with the Expansion Packs having the most to them. I love how each pack adds something different to your gameplay. From the Vampire pack adding vampires and spooky decor to Getting to Work which allows you to actually go to the hospital when you have a baby. If a pack comes out that doesn’t interest you, you can skip it. It’s also quite exciting when they announce a new pack with new decor, clothing, and gameplay.

You can get Sims 4 for free at EA Games!

Shop for Sims 4 Expansion, Game, and Stuff Packs!

Have you played the Sims 4? What’s your favorite pack?

5 Things to Know About Being a National Guard Spouse

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It’s been nine years since I became a National Guard spouse when my husband went from the active duty military to the National Guard. Nine years of drills, annual training, and all things National Guard. Unlike many National Guard families, we live near a military post, Fort Campbell. He was stationed here when he was active duty and we stayed. We definitely live in a military town, and have access to many of the same things active duty military have.

We can and do shop at the Commissary, attend events on post, and many people we meet are associated with the military. They are either other military spouses, military brats, or veterans. Most people around me know a little bit about the military lifestyle, which I know isn’t always the case when you are in the National Guard or the Reserves.

Service members in the National Guard serve in the military, however, their day-to-day lives can look a little different. If your spouse serves in the National Guard, they will most likely also work a civilian job. As a National Guard family, the military is around, but not necessarily on a daily basis like you might find if you were an active duty family.

If your service member is thinking about joining the National Guard or the Reserves after active duty or thinking of joining to start their military career, I hope you are able to find this post helpful.

Sometimes the military is in your face

There are times when the military is going to be in your face. The Guard does deploy, and they also go away to train. AT or Annual Training is the “two weeks a year” part of the deal. Although sometimes AT is longer than two weeks. For us, it has been anywhere from 2-4 weeks.

Sometimes my living room is filled with camo as my husband sorts his gear for a drill weekend or other types of training. Sometimes we are waiting on military orders. Sometimes this life feels similar to when he was active duty. The key word here is sometimes.

Sometimes we are a lot more civilian

There are times when we are a lot more like a civilian family. While drill weekend is once a month, sometimes there can be six weeks in between drill weekends. This means that we don’t think as much about the military as other times. Life is pretty much him going to his civilian job, and not much going on with the military, even though the military is always still in the back of our minds. Every year seems to be a big mix of both military and non military seasons.

The news isn’t your friend

The news could mean activation. The National Guard could get called to help with a hurricane, tornado, or other natural disaster. They could get called to help with any type of unrest or anytime they are needed. This can be with very little notice and you will have to change your plans. This is one of the hardest parts of Guard life for me. Activation doesn’t happen too often but I always have it in the back of my mind, especially when planning vacations or other important events.

Create your own drill weekend fun

Creating drill weekend fun is good for you. I never love when my husband is gone. I am pretty sure drill weekend always falls on the most inconvenient weekend of the month, but I also enjoy creating traditions while he is away. I will order my favorite food one night or binge a specific show I only watch when he is gone.

You can and should enjoy that time as much as you can, instead of just dreading the times they will be away. Use those weekends or trainings to work on yourself, and make memories with friends or your kids. This will make your life as a National Guard spouse a bit easier.

National Guard spouses do get some benefits

Us National Guard and Reserves spouses do qualify for some of the same benefits active duty spouses do. When looking at spouse programs, finding out that we can’t qualify for something is frustrating. Our spouses serve too. However, some programs do include us. Here are a few of them:

  • MyCAA provides military spouses with up to $4,000 in financial aid to pursue a license, certification, or associate’s degree. MyCAA is available to National Guard and Reservist spouses when their service members are on Title 10 orders. MyCAA is for spouses whose service members have ranks between E-1 through E-6, W-1 through W-2, and O-1 through O-3.
  • Tutor.com is a free online tutoring website to include college and professional subjects, available 24/7.
  • Most military discounts that offer the discount to spouses include National Guard spouses, such as the amazing Disneyland military discount.
  • Hire Heroes USA provides free job search assistance to US military members, veterans, and their spouses.
  • Blue Star Families and Military OneSource are also available to us.

Not everyone’s experiences as a National Guard spouse will be the same. Some service members train more than others. But joining the National Guard or Reserves can be a good career move for some service members.

Changes to TRICARE Coming in 2024: What You Need to Know

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Changes to TRICARE Coming in 2024: What You Need to Know

Oh TRICARE, it’s our favorite, isn’t it? Well maybe, maybe not, but TRICARE is our military insurance and like it or not, TRICARE is here to stay.

The new year will bring changes to TRICARE

With a new year, there will be changes to TRICARE that you need to be aware of, especially if you live in one of the six states mentioned below. There will be a new contract for TRICARE known as T-5. According to TRICARE, the changes will improve the delivery, quality, and cost of healthcare services for service members, retirees, and their families.

States are moving

The BIGGEST change that you need to be aware of is that some states will be moving from TRICARE East to TRICARE West. In 2024, TRICARE will continue to have two regional contractors. Humana Military, or Humana Government Busines for TRICARE East, and TriWest Healthcare Alliance Corporation for TRICARE West. Currently, and through the end of 2023, Humana Military is the contractor for TRICARE East, and Health Net Federal Services is the contractor for TRICARE West.

You should know which region you are in based on the state that you live. However, if you live in these states:

  • Arkansas
  • Illinois
  • Louisiana
  • Oklahoma
  • Texas
  • Wisconsin

you will be changing from TRICARE East to TRICARE West. The changes will begin in January 2024, and if you are affected by them you should be notified of what you can expect.

Only certain TRICARE plans use regions:

  • TRICARE Prime
  • TRICARE Prime Overseas
  • TRICARE Select
  • TRICARE Select Overseas
  • TRICARE Young Adult
  • TRICARE Reserve Select
  • TRICARE Retired Reserve

If you do have one of these plans you can find out more information about regions on the TRICARE Region page.

Other positive changes to TRICARE coming in 2024 are:

  • More efficient referral transfers between the two regions 
  • Greater provider network flexibility
  • Improved beneficiary choice
  • Enhanced telehealth appointments

Hopefully, these changes to TRICARE make everything a bit better for everyone.

TRICARE Plans

There are actually quite a few different TRICARE plans depending on what you want to have, how your service member is serving, and active duty status. As you can see, there are many different TRICARE plans out there.

  • TRICARE Prime
  • TRICARE Prime Remote
  • TRICARE Prime Overseas
  • TRICARE Prime Remote Overseas
  • TRICARE Select
  • TRICARE Select Overseas
  • TRICARE For Life
  • TRICARE Reserve Select
  • TRICARE Retired Reserve
  • TRICARE Young Adult
  • TRICARE Plus
  • US Family Health Plan

If you are active duty, you can choose between TRICARE Prime and TRICARE Select. Some families do this because of what they have access to or if they want to see a certain provider that wouldn’t be possible to see if they stayed on Prime. If you are overseas, you would of course need to use the Overseas options. As a National Guard family, we use TRICARE Reserve Select, and we would not be eligible for TRICARE Prime unless they are activated.

If you are unsure about what plans you can qualify for you, check out this nifty TRICARE Plan Finder. You enter your information and the results will tell you what you need to know.

How much does TRICARE cost?

Curious about TRICARE costs? Use this tool to figure out what they would be based on the type of TRICARE plan you have and your sponsor’s status.

There is a lot about TRICARE to be overwhelmed about, but reading up on the differences and using the tools that are provided can make things a little more clear. I have been using TRICARE for almost 18 years now and I still haven’t quite figured it out.

7 Creative Ways to Speed Up a Military Deployment

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7 Creative Ways to Speed Up a Military Deployment

There comes a time during everyone’s deployment when time stands still. You could be coming off a few good weeks, and then boom, time stops. It feels like they have been gone forever, and yet you still have so much more time to go. What is a military spouse to do? Here are 7 creative ways to speed up a military deployment, help move things forward, and enjoy life even when your spouse is away.

Volunteer for something fun!

Volunteering can be good for the soul, and being able to help out an organization, or people in your community is a good thing. Find something you would love to help out with. Look for opportunities in your local civilian and military communities. VolunteerMatch is a great website for finding places in your community that need volunteers.

Plan a trip with a friend

Do you have someone you would want to travel with? Do it! Plan a trip with a friend. I did this during our 2nd deployment and it was so much fun. We both had young kids and were able to help each other out while making memories together with one another and our kids. A trip always breaks up a deployment. You don’t even have to go too far. Pick somewhere in your state and get to planning.

Plan a party

Did the deployment hit the 50-day mark? The 100-day mark? Plan a party! Plan a Bunco night! Find something you love to do and invite people to join you. Don’t want to have a party in your house? Check on your local community center to see if you can rent the space or invite people out to your favorite restaurant. Parties are fun and fun makes the time pass a bit quicker!

Find a new job

Maybe you have been at the same job for a while, maybe it is time to move on. Switch things up and put some applications out there. There are organizations like Hire Heroes USA and Military OneSource that can help you on your employment journey.

Write about your experiences

Why not write about your experiences as a military spouse and what it is like going through a deployment? You can start a social media account to share your thoughts, start a blog, or even write a book. We all have a story to tell, and by sharing ours, we can help other military spouses along the way.

Refresh your house

Deployments are the perfect time to refresh your house. Plan a house project. This can be anything from repairing a room or buying some new art to put on the walls or remodeling a bigger space. Don’t forget to use your Lowe’s and Home Depot military discounts when buying supplies for your home projects.

Read a really long book you can’t put down

Find a good, long book, and dive in. Or better yet, find a good, long book series. You will get hooked and not want to put the book down. Reading can be such a great way to get through a deployment.

While there is no real way to fast forward through the months of deployment, there are things you can do to speed up a military deployment. Stay busy, find new friends, and get creative. Not only will doing so help during the deployment but it is good for your soul and will allow you to live a more balanced life.

There is No Minimum Amount of Time to Miss Your Spouse

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There is No Minimum Amount of Time to Miss Your Spouse

The longest deployment my husband went through was 15 months. The shortest was 5.5 months. And then we had a few in-between.

The 15-month deployment was long, and we lost a lot of men. That part of the deployment was so hard to deal with, and I am thankful that wasn’t quite the case in any of the deployments that followed that one.

I was so thankful to hear when the Army went down to 9 months for most deployments. I know that some do deploy for longer, but to hear that the 12 months (or longer) wasn’t the standard anymore was a relief.

I do know some spouses prefer a longer deployment vs a bunch of shorter ones. They can get into deployment mode and ride it out verses always going back and forth between their spouse at home and then being gone again. Spouses of special forces service members might have their spouse coming and going all year long, that is just the way their job works.

Within the military as a whole, there are many different deployment patterns, where some branches have longer deployments than others. Some service members also deploy more than others. There isn’t just one standard amount of time a military member will deploy.

If my husband does have to deploy, I would prefer he go for a shorter amount of time. Longer deployments can affect you in ways shorter deployments might not. And deploying over a year brings up other challenges.

But…

That doesn’t mean that shorter deployments are easy, or that there is a minimum amount of time your spouse has to be gone before you are allowed to miss them.

That doesn’t mean that there is a minimum amount of time your spouse has to be gone before you are allowed to be sad about them being away from you.

That doesn’t mean that there is a minimum amount of time for your spouse to be deployed before you are allowed to ask for help or to find support.

The truth is, deployments affect us all in different ways. One military spouse might be having a difficult time with the idea that her spouse is in a war zone, while another might be struggling with solo parenting or the loneliness that comes with being the only person in the home.

The truth is, a three-month deployment for one person could be just as difficult as a six-month deployment to someone else. How a military spouse views and even handles a deployment depends on so many factors.

There is no minimum amount of time to miss your spouse. You just do.

Whether they are gone for a two-week training over AT while in the National Guard, or an extended 15-month deployment while active duty.

Whether they are gone for a three-month school in the Air Force, or a six-month deployment to Africa with the Army.

Whether you are apart for a year while you PCS back to the US early, or you are apart for six weeks waiting to PCS to Germany to join your spouse, literally just waiting on paperwork.

We need to remember this when talking with other spouses. We need to remember what it was like when our spouse first left for basic, or when they left for their first deployment. We have all been through it and we can help each other out.

If you are currently going through a year-long deployment and hear a spouse complain about a three-month deployment, of course, you are going to want to say something. You might wonder why they think it is so hard when you have so much longer to go then they do. But the truth is, a deployment is a deployment and while a three-month deployment may look easy to someone going through a year-long deployment, the deployment is anything but easy.

So even though it can be hard to do sometimes, trust me, I have been there, we should try to put ourselves in other military spouse’s shoes. None of this is easy, and we all might need a little help every now and then. Try to remember what it was like the very first time you had to say goodbye to your spouse and send them overseas.

Compassion goes a long way in our military community. Being aware that others might be struggling is important. Do what you can to help other spouses instead of playing the “who has it worse” game. Our community will be stronger for it.

If you are currently going through a deployment and struggling a bit, you have come to the right place. Check out my blog posts on deployments, or any other part of military life. You can also join my Facebook group or connect with me on social media. You are not alone and you got this!

Now I Can See! 4 Military Discounts on Eyeglasses You Don’t Want to Miss

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Now I Can See! 4 Military Discounts on Eyeglasses You Don't Want to Miss

My eyes are not perfect, in fact, I have needed glasses or contacts since I was 17 years old. These days, I am very much 100% into my glasses, having given up on contacts a few years ago. When you wear glasses, you have to buy glasses, and as you know, TRICARE doesn’t cover the cost of glasses.

Did you know that Benjamin Franklin invented bifocals back in the 1700s? He divided his lenses so that he could see both near and far with one pair of glasses. Thank you Mr. Franklin as I received my first pair of progressive lenses earlier this year. With progressive lenses, you can’t see a line in between, which is nice. I was having trouble reading with my glasses on, and thank goodness this technology exists.

And the thing about glasses is that they can be pretty expensive. If you have ever tried to pick out a pair after an eye appointment, the prices can be a little hard to stomach. But we have choices!

There are quite a few glasses companies online and quite a few of them offer a military discount. With these companies, you do need to have your prescription which you enter into a form, pick out the frames you want, and place your order.

Here are four military discounts on glasses that you don’t want to miss:

Zenni Optical

Zenni Optical is my personal favorite and I have been ordering from them for years. They offer a 10% military discount and ordering glasses is a pretty easy process. They offer a lot of options to find exactly what you want. Zenni was founded back in 2003 and used to be called, 19dollareyeglasses.com. You can find eyeglasses and sunglasses at Zenni Optical.

GlassesUSA

GlassesUSA is another online glasses retailer. They offer a $10 super coupons to members of the military. You can use this coupon with other promotions to offer additional savings. They were founded in 2009 and offer glasses, sunglasses, and contacts.

Glasses.com

Glasses.com has a sweet military discount of 60% off lenses as well as free shipping. They have brands such as Ray-Ban, Oakley, Versace, and Coach. They sell eyeglasses and sunglasses.

Sunglasses Hut

The Sunglasses Hut offers members of the military and military spouses 15% off members of the military and their spouses. Not only can you get regular sunglasses at the Sunglasses Hut, but you can also get prescription sunglasses. The Sunglasses Hut first opened in 1971 in a mall in Miami.

Not in the market for glasses? There are plenty of other types of retailers that offer military discounts to members of the military, veterans, and military spouses. Companies such as Old Navy, Lowe’s and Michaels offer 10-15% off on purchases.

If you are interested in having your own military discount added to this list of military discounts on eyeglasses, please contact me here for more information.

Saying That Goodbye, As they Head Off to War

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It’s time to say goodbye.

I don’t want to. I really don’t want to.

I want him to stay here forever. Stay with me forever. But that’s not how military life works.

It’s time to say goodbye and I need to be strong. For him. For my kids.

We drive up to the gate. That horrible gate. The one he will walk through after we say our goodbyes.

My tears start to flow, but still, I try to hold them back. He hugs me as he gets out of the car. This is it. This is really happening.

I have been here before. I have done this before. This isn’t new.

And yet, it feels new. It feels just like it did the first time he had to go so many years ago.

He grabs his bag, I grab my boys. We don’t want to draw this out.

He puts his bag where it needs to go and comes back to us. We can stay. We can wait until it is time for him to go. But we decide not to.

We say goodbye then. Knowing the extra hour or two might just drag this out. We say goodbye and then we let go.

I give him that last hug and that last kiss and that last goodbye. He hugs and kisses the boys. And kisses me one last time.

And I tell him what I always tell him, “come back to me,” and he says what he always says, “I will, I always will.”

And so I grab the boys and we get in the car. We have said goodbye. We have kissed and hugged that one last time.

And I leave him there, this man I love so much. The one I married and wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Unsure about what the next few months would bring.

As I get the boys in the car, I tell them that we got this and we are going to have an adventure when their dad is gone.

That we will make this time apart fun for them and that the days might be hard at times, we will get through it. I am not sure if they totally understand what I am saying. They are so young but I tell them it will all be okay because I feel like they need to hear it. I feel like I need to say it.

And so we head back home, me trying to keep it together. It’s day 1. The first day of deployment.

It’s day one and the countdown can begin. It’s day one and I know the day will be hard.

And as time moves on, as it always does, I look back on that day and how hard it was to say goodbye.

Saying goodbye to the man I love, as he heads off to war. Saying goodbye as he heads off to a dangerous place. Saying goodbye as we start this next deployment.

And even through the goodbyes are so hard, time passes and we get through the deployment. Homecoming comes, and we see him again. A little stronger than we were before.

We know there could be more deployments in the future, we know that we will have to say goodbye again. But as military spouses, we know we can get through what military life brings us, one day at a time.