Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Search Results for: military no stress pcs

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

by

I remember feeling so torn during our first deployment. I didn’t want to do this Military life thing anymore. I didn’t want my kids to be without their dad. I didn’t want there to be so many pages of my scrapbook where dad was missing.

I started wondering if military life was worth the cost. Was it worth it for my kids to miss so much? I started wondering if despite my husband’s desire to serve, that our family needed to come first and that he shouldn’t do this anymore.

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

That missing a child’s birth wasn’t worth it…

That missing their first day of kindergarten wasn’t worth it…

That leaving our kids with a stressed-out mom simply wasn’t fair…

And now all these years later I am still not sure if military life is fair to my children. It might not be. And that is a huge pill to swallow.

I can think about all the benefits of military life. I can think of all the places we have been, all the people we have met, and everything we have learned over the years.

But that doesn’t change the fact that my husband missed almost all of my son’s first year of life. That he will miss things in the future. That we will never get these years back.

Walking away from military life can seem like the right thing to do. To see that ETS date and end the military journey. To ask your spouse to pick another path.

For some, getting out of the military is the right thing to do…

For others, it isn’t that simple.

For some, serving in the military is something they have to do. That the military is a part of them. That the military is in their blood. Walking away isn’t possible.

And for the military spouse of that service member, things can be so complicated. You can’t help but wonder where you stand. You can’t help but wonder why they are okay with all the loss and heartache this life can bring.

But you also know that serving is a part of who they are, and what they have chosen as a career path. You know deep down they ache having to be away from you too. You know that they miss you like you are missing them.

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

And when you remember that, when you remember that even though they choose the military, they also chose you, things get a little easier.

And from that, you can get through what comes. You can help your children through military life. You can be there, and be patient, and know that your path is okay.

Your military life may look so different from your own upbringing.

Your military life might be the opposite of what your civilian friends do.

But it’s your military life, for good or for bad.

While you might never be able to answer the question of if military life is fair to your kids, you know your kids will be able to make it through the challenges, with you by their side.

You might never be able to get those years back but the memories you make when you are together are priceless.

You might not ever have a “normal” life because you married a service member, but you are committed to still living a good one, however that looks.

Don’t be afraid to seek out help during this life. I have many different blog posts here at Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life on deployments, pcsing, and military life in general.

I have a Facebook group, filled with other military spouses who understand.

Check out your local communities to see what is available.

Join your FRG, local MOPS group, or find another way to connect with other military spouses that works for you.

Raising children in the military is, of course, going to be challenging, there is no sense in sugar-coating that. You want the best for your children, and when you realize they are missing out, that doesn’t feel like the best.

You might feel guilty about certain parts of this lifestyle, you might wish you could go back and give them something they missed out on, and you might not ever feel 100% about the choice to be a military family.

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

But in the end, if the love of your life is committed to the military, you can be too. No matter how rocky the road might be.

You can find recourses to help, you can be your children’s steady in a world that doesn’t seem so, and you can take everything one day at a time.

As a mom, you will always do what you can to help your children through life. This doesn’t change just because you are a military family. Every family has challenges, the military life might just be yours.

What are your best tips for raising kids in the military?

How to Encourage a Military Spouse

by Leave a Comment

This post contains affiliate links!

How to Encourage a Military Spouse

By Lizann Lightfoot, the Seasoned Spouse

Military spouses and loved ones face a variety of challenges during military life. Sometimes, military paperwork and protocols cause the headaches. Other times, it is the challenge of taking care of the house and kids alone while the service member is away. Whether you or brand new or a “seasoned spouse,” there are always a million ways the military can ruin your day. 

When you hear a military spouse complaining about one frustration or another, it may be tempting to tell them to “just deal with it” because “hey, that’s military life!” But phrases like that are not actually encouraging and don’t solve any problems. Instead, here are some ways to truly encourage a military spouse—even if you aren’t one yourself!

Empathize. Even if you can’t relate to a military spouse’s exact situation, there’s a good chance you have experienced similar feelings of frustration or anxiety. You don’t have to raise 3 kids on your own while your spouse is deployed across the world to understand that a parent in that situation is going to be stressed and need some extra support! As you listen to their story, try to find words to describe their feelings—exhausted, disappointed, etc. Think about moments when you experienced those same emotions, and then share what was helpful to you during those challenges. 

Validate their feelings. Often, people are confused or overwhelmed by military life challenges, and they aren’t even sure if their reactions are “normal” for a military spouse or significant other. It may be reassuring for them to hear that their experience is actually quite common. There isn’t just one “right way” to be a military spouse. Everyone handles stress and sudden changes differently. So whatever they are experiencing right now is totally normal. It doesn’t have to be the right or wrong way to feel, it’s just a human response. 

“You’re not alone.” Military life can be very isolating. Many spouses and significant others find themselves living far from family, in an unfamiliar town, with very few friends. Oh, and then their service member has to go train for a few weeks or months. It’s no surprise if they feel frustrated and overwhelmed! Military spouses love to connect with each other and find fellow milsos who are having similar experiences. Let them know you can relate to their current struggle. They aren’t the only person who has ever navigated a deployment or a PCS move. There can be comfort in realizing that thousands of military spouses and loved ones have faced similar challenges and figured out a way to handle them.

Don’t judge. We’ve all been in situations where people offered less than helpful advice. One example is someone saying we “knew what we were signing up for” when we became military spouses. Newsflash—that doesn’t actually make a difficult situation any better. When someone is struggling, don’t tell them to get over it or stop being weak. Meet them where they are, without judgement.

Offer practical suggestions. There usually isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to a crisis. But there is probably a resource somewhere that may help. If you know about a national program, a military discount, or a non-profit organization that could be useful, then share it! If you have a simple strategy or routine that works for you when you are in a similar situation, then let a milspouse know your tips and tricks! And if the problem seems too big for either one of you to handle, don’t be afraid to recommend professionals like counselors, doctors, or chaplains. Sometimes, just using one new resource can make all the difference during a stressful situation like a deployment or PCS move. Your practical suggestion might make a huge difference in another milso’s life. 

Write an “Open When” letter. To share words of encouragement when they will be needed most, write a note for your milspouse friend to open during a specific occasion. I did this in my new book, “Open When: Letters of Encouragement for Military Spouses.” Each letter speaks to a specific challenge of military life. Some are small, like “Open When You’ve Missed a Phone Call,” but other letters speak to heart-wrenching moments, like “Open When You Have to Leave a Home You Love.” The book releases on September 21, 2021, from Elva Resa Publishing, but it is available for pre-order now online, wherever books are sold! 

In my book, I combined all of the above strategies to create a resource that is truly encouraging and helpful. Inside, every military spouse will find a letter that speaks to them. The book makes the perfect gift for someone dating a service member or new to military life. It is also a great way to celebrate a “seasoned spouse” with experiences and memories they can relate to, and a final section of letters all about the later years of military life. Whether you are a military spouse who needs an occasional friendly word, or you have a friend who could use some support, turn to the book, “Open When: Letters of Encouragement for Military Spouses.”

Five Tips for When You First Become A Military Spouse

by 5 Comments

If you are new to Military life you might be worried or curious about all things military. Everything can be so overwhelming at first. I remember those days well.

I wasn’t really sure what to think about this new life. I was in a whole new world and I wasn’t sure how the military worked. I had a lot of questions and a lot of worries.

Over time, I started to figure things out. More seasoned spouses helped me along the way. And with time, things started to make a little more sense.

Five Tips for When You First Become A Military Spouse

Here are five tips to remember when you first become a Military Spouse:

You Don’t Have to Know Everything Right Away

PCS? CYS? TDY? What does all of that mean and what does it have to do with you? The Military has a certain way of doing things and the logic usually doesn’t always make sense and there are SO MANY ACRONYMS!

Don’t feel like you have to figure everything out right away. I am still trying to figure out how things work and I have been an Army wife for over 15 years.

Try Not to Freak Out Over the Little Things

This can be difficult to take. Not something I am very good at doing either. But try not to freak out over the little things.

Maybe your spouse has to work late or gets called into work unexpectedly. That is hard but, remember, that this is a part of the job. In the end, those little annoyances can really get to you.

Try not to let them. Try to let them go and if you can’t, talk to a friend who can relate.

Know That Military Life Isn’t Fair

Sometimes you just get dealt an unlucky number with deployments or the unit your spouse gets put in. During our first deployment, we were the only unit in the brigade where soldiers couldn’t come home on extra leave for a birth. While this did not affect us as we had our baby right before R&R, I know how frustrated others were. This felt very unfair to a lot of people.

Sometimes the people who leave first are the last to return. A lot of what happens doesn’t make any sense, it is just the way things are in the military. Military life just isn’t fair.

You Will Make Some of Your Best Friends as a Military Spouse

You will find people to connect with and get through deployments with. You will spend Christmas and other holidays together, cry when the deployments start, and cheer for each other during the homecomings.

You will have to eventually say goodbye but your bonds and your memories will last forever. Going through any stressful period of time with others makes things a bit easier. Finding friends who understand our military life is one of the best things you can do.

Not Everyone Handles Everything the Same Way

This is important to remember. Everyone handles separation differently. Everyone handles pcsing differently.

We are different people and certain parts of Military life might be harder for others. Keep this in mind if something is a little easier for you. You can help those around you who might be having a difficult time getting through.

You might be someone who can completely handle giving birth without your husband while a friend might feel that is nearly impossible. You can support her as she goes through that situation. Be her rock and in return, she will be there for you when you need someone to lean on.

Going from a non-military life to a military one can be challenging. Don’t be afraid to reach out to other spouses and ask questions when you don’t quite understand something. Most people are happy to help a new military spouse out 🙂

19 Memes that Explain What PCSing is Really Like

by 2 Comments

19 Memes that Explain What PCSing is Really Like

19 Memes that Explain What PCSing is Really Like

Have you been through a PCS this year? PCS stands for “Permanent Change of Station” and happens when someone in the military has received orders for a new location. Pcsing is a process and one that can bring on a lot of stress.

There is always so much to do during a PCS. You have to prepare for the movers to come or start packing if you are going to do that part of the move yourself. You will have to get certain papers signed and filled out. Your service member will have to do certain things around your current duty station. You will have to find a new place to live, sometimes with getting to see what is there in person.

Then there is the emotional side to pcsing. Saying goodbye to your home, your friends and watching your children do the same. Pcsing can be difficult, for both you and your children. PCSing can also be a great thing, especially if you are excited about your new duty station.

Here are some memes that understand the experience…

pcsing

Sometimes it is hard to know what PCS really stands for. I think both of these could apply.

PCSING

You might not get a say with where you go next, but it can be fun to dream. If only the military could give us exactly what we wanted in a new duty station.

Pcsing

Military life means moving often. Although some military families buy houses, we did, not all feel like they should. They are waiting until after military life to find their forever home.

PCSing

Yes! You will have memories no matter where you go. You will treasure them. It doesn’t matter how many duty stations you end up at, you will always remember certain people and the fun you had at each location.

Pcsing

Yep! I have 3 kids and they were all born in different places. Life of a military family.

Hurry up and wait

PCSing means waiting on orders and other paperwork. Hurry up and wait. Get it all done and then have to wait longer than you think you should.

Military Children

Being in a military family means having to go to a lot of different schools. Sometimes that is a good thing, sometimes it isn’t.

pcsing

So many things on your PCS to-do list but saying goodbye to your friends is the hardest thing you will have to do.

Pcsing

If you are a military spouse for a longer period of time, you might have to pcsing with a toddler, or a teen. I am not sure what would be harder to do?

memes-92

I don’t like saying goodbye, I would rather say see you later…

PCSing

Seriously! Your PCS could be delayed because people went on vacation or had a sick day.

Pcsing

What have you been saving for a future home?

pcsing

Yes, we say we are not going to stress but then we do. Oh well!

Pcsing

The Army doesn’t have a lot of beach choices…sigh.

Military Life

I love that as a military spouse I have met so many people from all over the US and the World.

Pcsing

Yes, just remember that at the end of the PCS is a new home, new friends, and new memories to be made.

Military Life

The military will drive you nuts when you are waiting for something to happen. Whether it is a PCS or a deployment coming to an end.

Pcsing Overseas

Yep! You wait forever and then boom, things happen and they happen fast. The next thing you know you are on an airplane waving goodbye to your former home.

Pcsing

Home is where the military sends you. What does your list look like? This is ours 🙂

Ideas to Improve Military Spouse Employment and Finding Those Remote Opportunities

by Leave a Comment

Happy to have this guest post by Linda on working from home and employment. Please email me at Julie@soldierswifecrazylife.com and let me know if you would like to write a guest post for Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life too.

35% of Military Spouses are saying that they are NOT employed but NEED OR WANT employment. 

According to the BSF/IVMF Survey # Respondents, Military Spouse Employment remains the reigning TOP ISSUE for Military Families! Link to Survey: https://bluestarfam.org/survey/

Reason’s why it is the TOP ISSUE –  It creates financial stress when with each PCS move a spouse loses her job and is forced into unemployment or under-employment status taking a low paying position at the new location. Add to that the stress from COVID 19 with the impact of school closures, daycare closures, the cost of childcare and access to quality, affordable childcare in general, and an unpredictable daily work schedule of their service member, and you have the perfect recipe for Military Spouses and Service Members to choose their FAMILY over Service when it comes time to re-enlist.  

What Needs to Be Done –  Companies that hire military spouses and offer remote work opportunities along with flexible schedules and opportunities for advancement, need access to the Military Spouses and need to be able to share those opportunities in the community. Community businesses around military installations need to reconsider their stance on hiring or choosing not to hire military spouses because of the amount of time we may or may not be at a duty station. In the civilian sector, employees are typically not staying in a position longer than 5 years.  

At the Command level, reasonable accommodation for service members that need to manage home or family obligations should be encouraged. Explore ways to expand military childcare capacity or expand the MCCYN Military Child Care in Your Neighborhood fee assistance program and make it easier for those “underground” childcare providers to gain the quality rating necessary to be on the installation provider list.

Encourage partnerships with organizations that have DOD agreements to complement the services being offered through ACS, MWR, the Education Center, and SFL TAP by inviting them to Newcomer Briefings and allowing them to provide the information for additional employment opportunity support.  If the spouses do not know about it, they can not access it. 

This also is THE #1 Issue Impacting your Service Member Retention! 

To address the Military Spouse Employment Issue, there has been an explosion of grassroots Non-Profit Organizations in the last 10 years, STARTED by Military Spouses or Veterans that aim to alleviate military spouse Un and Under-Employment 

Who are they? This is by no means a complete list but is a list of the Organizations that are vetted, and I have personal experience with: 

  • Hiring Our Heroes Military Spouse Professional Network – National and Local Installation locations
  • USO Pathfinder Transition and Military Spouse Programs 
  • Blue Star Families 
  • IVMF Institute for Veterans and Military Families – O2O Onward to Opportunity with Syracuse University 
  • Vets2Industry 
  • MSEP Military Spouse Employment Partnership 
  • Vet Jobs 
  • VirtForce 
  • Veterati 
  • MOAA Military Officers Association of America 

What do they do? These organizations tackle Military Spouse and Veteran Employment and have something slightly different to offer that sets them apart from each other. However, they all work together closely and share a passion for their mission. 

I wish I had known about them 10 years ago as I struggled my way through my own career journey. I only learned about them 2 years ago, and only because the little reserve installation we were near actually had a PPP representative, and she shared these with me! 

The above resources have connections to company partners that are Military Spouse and Veteran friendly employers who have a commitment to hiring Military Spouses and Veterans. Some of them have the same partners, but many of them have their own unique relationships with different companies and if you know what all of them are doing, you are only going to increase your chances of finding the perfect job or personal growth opportunity for your family’s situation! All of them have Vetted Opportunities and are often remote and some are CONUS and OCONUS friendly.  

Working From Home Life 

Almost everyone I speak to, says, “I would love to work at home, you are so lucky! That is what I want to do.” With COVID 19 in 2020, many people found out very quickly some of the challenges of working from home as their spouses, and children joined them at home, and they got to have ALL that EXTRA together time.  

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I will ever go back into an office again in my lifetime. However, with that said, it isn’t for everyone.  

Things to consider: 

  1. Are you self-disciplined? 
  2. Are you an extremely social person? 
  3. Do you have a dedicated office or workspace, or could you create one? 
  4. Is the position a W2 position or an Independent Contractor (1099) position? **This one has tax implications. 1099 Independent Contractors do not have taxes taken out and should be paying taxes quarterly. You may want to get a CPA.**) 

There are companies out there that are committed to hiring military spouses, and some were created by military spouses to be able to offer REMOTE, Portable employment with ROOM for Advancement, flexible schedules, and a network of other military spouses, that just get it! 

Be Active On LinkedIn

Get your free LinkedIn Premium account https://socialimpact.linkedin.com/programs/veterans/milspouses

Connect with the networks I mentioned above and follow them. Start Networking and attending events and learn about the companies that are committed to hiring military spouses. Do some self-reflection and narrow down what career path you are on and find your dream job! 

Linda Bailey has been a Military Spouse for 16+ years, with 3 grown children, and 3 fur babies. She is an Empty Nester preparing for life after the military in a few years. She has somehow managed to stay employed throughout her husband’s career, but she WILL say that it has not been easy. Her new mission in life is to help other military spouses have a better career path than her own. She has just spent 30 Days posting on Linked In and sharing resources for Military Spouses and discovered some great opportunities that did not exist during her search for employment over the years. Please check her out on LinkedIN and Facebook.

16 Military Marriage Memes About Military Life

by

16 Military Marriage Memes About Military Life

16 Memes All About Military Marriage

Military marriage is a journey. You never really know what you are getting yourself into. Whether your spouse joined five years into your civilian marriage or you walked down the aisle to see your spouse in uniform, knowing that marrying them meant becoming a military spouse.

Military marriage has unique challenges. We spend months away from our spouses, we play mom and dad more often than not, we have to PCS and move a lot more often, and we might be missing our own families a little more than we want to be.

Here are 16 memes all about military marriage:

military marriage

Remember to keep saying I love you, no matter how far apart you are.

military marriage

Sometimes military marriage is all about being trustworthy, patient, loving, creative and understanding!

military marriage

Remember, this is one of your difficult moments, every couple has them.

military marriage

So true! Every time you can be a full family is special!

military marriage

Homecoming is great but the time after deployment can be challenging for any military marriage.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

military marriage

This is what we, military spouses do, we stand by!

military marriage

So true! So very true! That meeting again is the best!

military marriage

Memories you will never forget! The good ones and the bad.

military marriage

Trust is a must! Without it military life is going to be close to impossible.

military marriage

Hard times make for stronger people!

military marriage

Yes! We all know what waiting on that phone call is like!
And what it’s like when we miss that call! Our spouse lives in our phone!

military marriage

Seriously! How many times do people say this to us?
And how many times do we just want to tell them they would do it too!

Yes! Even if they are across the world from each other, knowing you are loved by them is important.

military marriage

The military will have to come first sometimes.
Know, you are always first in his heart, even if it feels like the military is first in everything else.

military marriage

Yes! Remember all those times you were together, especially during the harder days.
That will help you through them.

Memes All About Military Marriage

Even though we know what this life might bring, we all kind of wish there were quite so many times apart.

Military marriages might have to endure what seems like way too many stressful situations, but military life can also strengthen your marriage. There will be ups and downs, good days and bad.

How long have you been married?

What All These Years of War Mean to a Military Family

by

What All These Years of War Mean to a Military Family

War.

Going to war.

Sending your spouse off to go to war.

War.

It’s a word that military families know well. It is a word that brings up a lot of scary feelings. It is a word that probably feels different based on your experience with it.

As we head into 2020, with news of tensions heating up in Iran, us military families can’t help but think what this means. More war.

Some of us have been doing this for a long time. A very long time.

And all these years of war can weigh on us. Even though we know this is a part of the deal. Even though we know that being a military spouse means deployments to war zones. Even though we know that this was a part of what enlisting meant.

Some military families are getting ready for yet another deployment. And after so many, this may feel quite exhausting. The weight of previous deployments sits on their shoulders. The weight of the last fifteen, sixteen or seventeen years feels like a burden that is sometimes to difficult to bear.

As deployment orders come, military families do what they always do.

At first, there could be tears, maybe many of them. Children don’t always understand and the spouse wonders how they will manage. As deployment orders come, slowly we military spouses accept what is to come with them.

We know that saying goodbye will be difficult, it always is.

We know spending months apart is not going to be a picnic, it never has been. And adding more distance isn’t ideal.

We know that there will be good deployment days and bad deployment days and anything in between.

And as much as we know we can get through another separation, after so many years of war, saying goodbye again is another burden and one we really wish we didn’t have to go through.

For some, there just wasn’t enough time at home.

For others, a deployment comes at the worst possible time. Their spouse will miss so much, just like they have before. Just like they have the last six or seven times.

We could argue if it is right for the same people to go through this over and over again. But then if they didn’t go, who would? We are an all-volunteer military for a reason, a reason that most of us support.

But at some point, we also have to ask, how much is too much?

How many months away is okay? How much more do military families endure? Is there a breaking point?

Would so many leave the service before 20 years if there were not as many deployments? Would the military be stronger if we were not involved in so many years of war? Is there any other way?

My fear and the fear of many is that this could go on for so many more years. During my time as a military spouse, I have seen quite a few changes when it comes to deployments. Things change, they always do.

These days I don’t hear too much about 15-month deployments, but I also know a Navy ship returned after 10 months last week.

Communication is so much easier than it used to be. But due to recent announcements, some will be deployed without the technology they have been used to.

And as much as we might think things are getting better overseas, are they? Will they? Won’t there always be something?

It often seems like when things seem calm, something else happens. When it seems as if the world might be getting better, something else happens in to remind us that there will always be tensions.

We, as military spouses and families want to stay strong. We want to be there for our service members. We want to be the ones back at home holding down the homefront. But what happens when yet another deployment seems a little too much?

All these years of war have been hard on military families. There is no ignoring that. Rates of anxiety and depression have gone up. We need all the extra support we can get. We need help to get through these years, no matter how long they last.

As your service member returns home, there can be even more stressful situations. From PTSD and helping your spouse heal to just the day to day of having your partner back in your home or your daily life. This all adds to the stress military families experience.

Then to do it all over again just a few years, or even months later. Repeat for the rest of your spouse’s career. That is quite a lot to take on to our shoulders. Are already weary shoulders.

I think more than anything it is important for America in general to remember this. It is easy to say the military should do this or do that, but the military is made up of men and women, all with families, all with loved ones back home.

It is important for America to know that military families need support systems.

For our children, in and out of school. For us, for our careers, and for our day-to-day lives.

We need good friends to depend on, good leadership that understands the importance of families, and a listening ear when things get a little too much for us back at home.

Wars will come. We know this. We are aware.

We will try to prepare for the road ahead as much as possible. We will try to figure out the best way to make it through another deployment. We will put on our game face and do what we have to do.

For all the years of war, we have been through and for all the years of war that might be ahead.

If you are new to military life, please check out The Newbie’s Guide to Military Life: Surviving a PCS and More by Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life and Mrs Navy Mama. Your guide for learning about military life.

New to Military Life? You Need This Book!

by

The Newbie Guide to Military Life
Hello my dear friend! It is so good to have you here! We are so excited to share this amazing resource with you!

Let me lay a scenario out for you. Your SO is packing, getting ready for your family’s first deployment. You help gather the necessities, packing that bag to its maximum ability and checking off the packing list. They are leaving for months…months…You didn’t want to think about it. They are leaving in the morning and your mind is going a hundred miles per hour. What are you going to do with your time? How are you going to stay SANE?

After all, you have been told that deployment is “normal”.

Then you try looking at the LES, and note that the SDGI is higher than you thought and you wonder why you are getting BAS, BAH or COLA. Plus they are going TDY OCONUS soon and probably should just GOBach but you are trying to decide if you should PCS along with them…

Wow…

Speaking of PCS, should you do a DITY or a PPM move? How are you going to find the best pediatrician, dog park (can you even move your dog?) or should you even get on the waitlist for on-base housing? What about finding new friends and a support system? As a NEW MILSO, all of these situations can come into your mind. 

And you may be wondering how to find the answers to your questions!

Having a spouse as a member of the Armed Forces, it likely doesn’t take you long to figure out there’s a whole lot about military life that can be downright confusing. Many times we have wanted to scream, or throw our hands up and just run away.

That is why we created this guide! This guide focuses directly on you as a new MILSO and gives you some insight into some of the more frequently asked questions. Whether you are male or female, with kids or without, we all have questions when we begin this military life. 

Does This Sound Like You?

  • Feeling alone in military life?
  • Confused by all the acronyms?
  • Experiencing your first deployment?
  • PCSing for the first time?
  • Is TRICARE stressing you out?

Then you need this guide!

No matter what you are experiencing as a new MILSO, this guide is here for you—like a best friend pushing you along on this new journey! Look through the chapters and print-ables to give you some simple yet helpful insight, tips and tricks as you navigate.

Noralee and Julie hope that this guide will give you the confidence to begin and steps to take in order to make your years as a MILSO the best you can! Because as we have learned over the years, sometimes the hard way, military life will continue to surprise you, but with the right information you will be able to not only survive, but THRIVE! 

Hear What Other MILSOs Have to Say!

“Julie and Noralee have, once again, gone above and beyond for military spouses. Their MILSO 101 book is perfectly titled, a summary of key basics any military spouse or significant other might want to know. Whether it’s deploying, moving, or just finding your footing in your new military life, Julie and Noralee give you things to think about, actions to take, and provide their typical style of realism and comfort. Even after 15 years in military life, I found some nuggets. I appreciated their checklists and an appendix of resources and links, divided by chapter, making it incredibly easy to locate additional information on topics covered.”

-Jen Pasquale, Founder of Pride & Grit

“I so wish I’d had this book when I first became a Navy wife! Even now, seven years later, I learned so much! Whether you have questions about deployment preparation, where to live, a PCS or even how to see the doctor, Noralee and Julie have your back! In true military spouse fashion, these ladies have a wealth of knowledge and a heart for sharing it with others. I cannot recommend taking advantage of their experience enough!”

-Rachel McQuiston, Owner and Chief Care Package Maker, Countdowns and Cupcakes

“Where WAS this book ten years ago!?  Encouraging, informative and insightful- “The Newbie’s Guide to Military Life” is the gift I wish I had for myself as a brand new military spouse.  It’s also the gift I plan to give to those I love as they begin their own military spouse journey.  Noralee Jones & Julie Provost have taken what you can only learn through years of experience and distilled it into a single resource.  This guide would have saved me untold hours of research, frustration, trial and error.“

– Becky Hoy Founder, Brave Crate

Included in this guide!

  • 10 Chapters based on the most frequently asked questions from new MILSOs
  • Handouts and worksheets to supplement chapters and bring solutions!
  • Resources list with links and specific posts broken down by topics
  • Guide for Acronyms, PCSing list, and more!
  • PLUS a guest handout from Rachel with Countdowns and Cupcakes!

Let us help you journey from confusion to confidence as you navigate the first few years in this new life. Read it from cover to cover or take it one topic at a time as they come up. This guide is perfect for personalizing to your needs! 

Don’t Delay! Grab Your Copy Today!

And don’t forget to visit my amazing co-writer, Noralee, at MrsNavyMama and sign up for my mailing list for even more military spouse support!!!