The Military Spouse Life…
Head here for an updated version of this post…:)
by Julie 2 Comments

Deployments come, deployments go.
Through having to say goodbye, to the long and lonely nights, to planning for that homecoming day.
What better way to explain how a deployment really is then a meme…

Saying goodbye is never easy and you never truly get used to doing so. Saying goodbye is a part of military life and deployments will happen often.

A deployment is a big lemon in your life. Now go find some limes and make a margarita 🙂

They truly do. The day the deployment ends and you have your spouse back in your arms again.

You really don’t. When you are together, you will truly appreciate the time you have with one another.

Anyone who has been through a deployment has felt the deployment ache. It’s not a good feeling but the ache comes with being away from the person you love.

During my deployments, knowing that this was just a difficult time for us and that everyone has difficult times made the time apart a little easier.

The weekends are so different depending on if they are home or not.

You can’t talk about deployment without talking about OPSEC. Know what OPSEC and PERSEC are. You don’t want to be the reason a flight gets delayed or something else that could harm someone in the military.

As you go through your deployment, you will notice that you will go through different stages. Here are the 4 stages that I usually went through.

Yep! Deployments can make or break you. They will bring you down but that doesn’t mean you can’t get back up. And they will make you a stronger person through it all.

Your friends might all handle separations differently. That’s okay. We are all on our own journey. We might handle deployments in a different way. Never judge someone because of that.

Yes! Cereal for dinner is totally fine. Early bedtimes are a must!

Exactly! There has to be trust! Has to be!

One good thing about deployments is they make you feel like you are dating again. As you wait for your spouse to return home, you can’t help but get a little nervous and giddy.

I don’t think we are special. I think this life has made us have to become stronger people. And that is a good thing.

I have been through long deployments, I have been through short deployments. None of them are easy and time away is time away.

You can’t bring me down deployment. Even though you are trying…

The dates change all the time. And waiting for them is hard.

Yep! Sounds like a typical night during a deployment.

On deployments, you will have good days and bad days. Days where you feel you got this and days when you don’t.

There is a lot you can do to get you to a place of peace, even during a deployment.

It’s hard when it seems like the military is taking so much of your spouse’s time, it is even worse during deployments. Just remember, you are first in their heart.
And at the end of it all, you just want that homecoming day. You wait and you wait. And finally one day you get it. And although dates might change, the end is in site and the deployment will be over soon.
Deployments are a part of life for the military spouse. Although you might go a few years in between, you are usually not surprised when you find out your spouse is going to have to go on one. Usually, you have some time to prepare. Some people know even a year before the deployment, most people find out with a few months to prepare.

Every once in a while, a deployment gets scheduled at the last minute. As you are working on planning your summer, you could find out that your husband has to deploy in early June. After booking a trip home for Christmas, you find out your spouse is going to be deployed two weeks before. A last minute deployment can knock the wind out of you but know you will be able to handle what is to come.
No one wants a last minute deployment but they can happen. If this has happened to you, know that you can get through this just like you would if you had more time. In some ways, not having as long to worry about the deployment could be a blessing in the end.

Re-enlisting! For some, re-enlisting is a done deal. They don’t have to question the decision. They are in the military the for the long haul. 20+ years is the plan and that is what they intend to do. For others, re-enlisting is a challenging decision to make. There is always a lot to think about. Some couples will go back and forth on the decision for months and months.
1. Do they enjoy the military? One big factor that is important is that the person signing up for the military somewhat enjoys what they are doing. If not, they are going to be miserable. There is a lot about the military that is difficult and frustrating for both the spouse and the service member, however, at the end of the day, does your service member like what they do? Do they accept the military for what it is and still want to put on that uniform? If so, re-enlisting is probably the right choice.
2. What about the kids? Do you have kids? How do they handle military life? Do you want to have children but want to wait until military life is over? Is it time to move on to your post-military life because of that? You know your own children and what they need. You know what military life will be like for them. Think about what would be best and if going on in the military is the best choice for the whole family.
3. Is this best for their career? Every service member is on a career path. Do they have 12 years in? Would it be better to finish out their 20 years before they did something else? Trying to figure out what to do for a career is a challenge. Do they want to give up the military path for something different or do they want to continue on in the military, move up the ranks and see their career go that way?
4. Age? Age can make a difference. If your spouse is 22, that is the same age a lot of people are when they graduate college. That is a good age to start over and do something else. It’s a lot harder to start a new career when you are in your late 30s or 40s. On the other hand, if they are older, they might find the military harder on their body and will wish to change to something a little less physical.
5. What else would you do? If your service member is going to get out of the military, they need to figure something else to do. This can be challenging. The military can be very different from the civilian world. Some people do have an idea of what they want to do and others have a more difficult time finding something that works.
6. Should you change your MOS? Sometimes re-enlisting for a different MOS is the best thing to do. Your service member might want a change or feel like a different MOS might make their experience in the military a little better. If this is something they are thinking about, talk about the different MOS choices and figure out which one would be the best to look into.
Trying to decide on re-enlisting can be difficult. Sometimes you just know when it is time to leave and other times it can be a bit more complicated than that.

Deployments
My husband has been home from his last deployment for almost three years now. He deployed 4 times to both Iraq and Afghanistan within 7 years. He left for the first time in 2006, returning at the end of 2007. He then deployed again in 2008, 2011 and 2013. He returned from what might have been his very last deployment in December of 2013.
Over the years since then, we have been able to get back to a more normal life. Although he has worked in civilian jobs where he has been away at times and he has his monthly guard duties, he has not been away for an extended amount of time since 2013. As a wife, I am very happy about this. As a mother, I am glad my boys don’t have to miss their father anymore.
During all our deployments, I learned a lot about myself. I learned how to be more patient, that the little things don’t matter quite as much and that family time is precious.
Family Time is Important
Now that deployments are in my past, I look at our time together as something we sometimes had to go without. Whether we are all just hanging out together at home, going to the park or the movies or out on a day trip, I never want to forget what it was like to not have that.
There were plenty of weekends where I sat in my house alone with little children while I watched friends and even family spend time together. There have been plenty of times I have turned down invitations and not been able to go places because it was too difficult to do as the only parent. My husband has missed anniversaries and all the other holidays at one point or another.
These days, I try to plan for our family to do something together every weekend. We take advantage of what our community has to offer and enjoy going to parks and sometimes out to see a new movie. We took a lot of pool trips together this summer. We haven’t been able to travel too much lately but I’m hoping for a trip in the future that we can take together.
When you are able to spend that family time together on a regular basis, you are able to create memories with your children in a different way than when one of their parents is gone.
After four deployments, I am always aware of how special family time can be. I hope that I will never take advantage of being able to have my husband home with us on a regular basis. When he isn’t home, the days are just not the same. Deployments can be hard on a military spouse but I have learned that they can also help you become a better person with a different perspective on life.
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America’s veterans achieve personal victories overcoming challenges great and small each and every day! DAV (Disabled American Veterans) is a nonprofit organization that is on a mission to help veterans succeed after military service and get the benefits they were promised.
Here is a little bit about what DAV is doing:
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DAV (Disabled American Veterans) is a non-profit organization that is on a mission to help America’s veterans achieve more victories. To learn more about DAV, visit dav.org.
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of DAV. The opinions and text are all mine. While I am proud to support DAV and their mission, I have not been a beneficiary of DAV services.
by Julie 5 Comments
Anxiety is rough. Anxiety goes beyond worry and a lot of time anxiety doesn’t make any sense. Anxiety can be brought on by stress and can be very difficult to deal with. As a military spouse, anxiety can bring up even more issues and knowing what to do when anxiety hits can be difficult.

Over the years I have experienced anxiety as a military spouse. I have cried more than I should. I have felt physical pain because of how anxious I was. I have been anxious about my kids, my car, my home, my husband, my future, money or anything else that could come up. I hate anxiety and yet some days I wake up to it, wishing it would leave me alone.
When you have a basic worry about something, you can look at the facts of the situation and talk yourself into not worrying about that issue anymore. Anxiety is a little different. Anxiety is feeling like you are worried about something but it might not even be a logical worry. Because it isn’t always so logical, anxiety is a lot more difficult to deal with.
1. It isn’t just you- Remember that you are not the only military spouse struggling with anxiety. You are not the only one trying to figure out how to be a supportive military spouse and dealing with the anxious thoughts you have or the pressure you feel from your anxiety. So many of us are dealing with this too.
2. It might not make sense- Anxiety is weird and as I said before, anxiety doesn’t always make any sense. I ask myself all the time why some days getting in a car is so hard for me and others it is as normal as brushing my teeth.
3. Seek extra help- If your anxiety gets to the point where you feel like you just can’t live a normal life anymore, talk to your doctor about what is going on. See about going to see a counselor. This will help a lot. Just being able to talk to a non-judgemental person who can offer you good advice can really go a long way.
4. Create a peaceful place in your home- When my husband was deployed the last time I created a special place in my home that I could go to when I was feeling really anxious. This allowed me a safe place where I could cry things out, write in my journal or just get back to a better place. See if you can create a place like this in your home to go to when you are feeling anxious.
5. Talk to others about anxiety- Talking to others about anxiety is helpful. People, in general, want to present themselves as having everything all together but so many of us are struggling with something. Talk to your good friends about what is going on. They might be able to offer their own stories and you can help one another out.
6. Take time for yourself- Yes, we need to stay busy during a deployment but we also need to take care of ourselves. If going out every day is too much for you, take a day off for yourself. If taking on one more thing is going to be too much, just say no. Make sure you are finding ways to take care of you even if it is something simple like a nightly bubble bath.
7. Dance it out- Dance, work out, do yoga, walk, run, find some type of exercise that you can do every day. This will help motivate you to get out of your house and help you as you make your way through military life.
8. Tell your spouse- Talk to your spouse about your struggles. Let them know how they can help. They might not understand what you are going through. They might not see how hard something simple is for you sometimes. Be open and honest with them so they can help support you.
Anxiety is something I will probably have to deal with for the rest of my life. Whether my husband is in the military or not. Whether we are going through difficult situations or not. Having good methods to help with my anxiety is a must.
by Julie 2 Comments

Military life is an adventure of its own. You really have to have lived this life to understand. Some of the things us military spouses go through are rather unique. It’s nice to know we are not alone in our struggles and in our excitements along the way. From PCSing to deployments to figuring out how the military works.
Military spouses come from different places in the US and the world. They come from different backgrounds. They have different belief systems and have different ways of looking at this life. The main thing they have in common is a love for their service member and a desire to do what they can to support them in this life.
It’s so hard when people want us to put our phones away. We can’t. Our spouse lives in our phone.
So much the truth. There is a plan, a new plan, back to the old plan. Keeping up can be difficult. You just have to go with the flow and accept this is the reality.
You have to have tools to get you through the hardest parts of military life. What would you add to this list?
Seriously! It took us so long to join my husband in Germany because of this. It’s hard to wait on paperwork and even more so when you know the delay is probably just because someone is taking their time to fill out their part of it.
I have these super cute coffee curtains that don’t fit in my current house. They did a few houses ago and I hope I can use them again in the future.
I think we can all understand this one…
Have lived both civilian lives and a military one, this is true. It;s just so different once they join the military.

Dance…

I will never forget our homecomings. They were such special days for us.

My deployment to-do list is always so long and I never get through most of it. I am glad to have a list to focus on. That helps when the deployment slows down and I just want to speed it up.

Solo parenting can be difficult. Have a cereal night when you need to.

There are so many times when military life doesn’t make sense. That is just how it works.

Exactly! We are not special. We have just grown stronger because we have had to.

I have done this so many times. I know I should park in the same place every time but I don’t.

Yes!

This is the most important thing to remember while you are a military spouse. Sometimes the military does have to come first. That can be hard to accept but it is better if you do. Remember, your service member loves you and misses you as much as you miss him.
Like my memes? You can find more on my Facebook page!
Happy to have this guest post by Erin on Living in Jacksonville, Florida and Naval Station Mayport. Please visit my Duty station guest post page for posts on other locations or more information about how you can write a guest post about where you have been stationed.

Welcome to Jacksonville, the largest city in Florida and home to multiple military bases and facilities. With bases like Mayport Naval Station, Naval Air Station Jacksonville, and Naval Submarine Base Kings Bay right over the Florida Georgia border, Jacksonville is the third largest military presence in the country.
The first thing most people notice when moving to Jacksonville is how big the city is. As both the largest city in population and area, Jacksonville is the 12th most populous city in the United States. From the Beaches to Riverside to Orange Park to Southside, each side of town caters to a different lifestyle depending on your preferences. The cost of living in some parts of town are higher than others and if you’re planning to live off base, it’s best to research each part of town to decide which one best fits your style of living. Some military families choose to live close to base while others sacrifice a longer commute to live in a part of town that appeals to their lifestyle.

If you’re interested in being surrounded by nature or into outdoor sports, you’ll find plenty of options in Jacksonville. Fishing is a popular pastime in Jacksonville, seeing as though the city is surrounded by so much water. Local parks offer hiking and biking trails, camping, and geocaching. The beaches are popular for both lounging and watersports like surfing, paddleboarding, and kayaking. And both Mayport and NAS Jax offer swimming pools and waterparks for military families.

Both Mayport and NAS Jax offer Navy exchanges and commissaries with Jax’s NEX being larger of the two, though Jacksonville is in no short supply of grocery stores and shopping malls throughout the city. The largest grocery chains in town are Publix and Winn Dixie. There are four main shopping malls, with the St. Johns Town Center or the Orange Park Mall being the most popular choices.

In my opinion, the best feature of Jacksonville is the dining options. Jacksonville is home to some really great independently owned restaurants as well as your typical dining chains. I would urge you to branch out and try some of the local places. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how good the food and drink options are. I could create a whole post about my favorite restaurants but here are a few of my recommendations – Poe’s Tavern in Atlantic Beach for burgers and the best tuna tacos; V Pizza in San Marco or Jax Beach for pizza and chicken wings (yes, wings!); and Maple Street Biscuit Company with numerous locations around town for a melt-in-your-mouth chicken biscuit.

Jacksonville is also adjacent to historic cities like Amelia Island, Fernandina, and St. Augustine which make great day-trip destinations. Amelia Island and Fernandina offer beautiful beaches and State Parks with various amenities like hiking, fishing, and wildlife observation. As the oldest city in America, St. Augustine is full of historical monuments and attractions, museums, shopping, and dining options.
As a Jacksonville native, I’ve come to really love and appreciate my hometown for it’s diverse population, rich history, and unique amenities. And I strongly feel that Jacksonville has something to offer everyone.
Erin is the author of erinwiggle.com, a comprehensive guide to the First Coast and neighboring cities. She’s a Sailor’s wife, outdoor enthusiast, furbaby mama, and foodie. Follow her on Instagram at @erinwiggle or send her an email at lifeaswiggle@gmail.com.
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