Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Deployment

10 TV Shows You Should Binge Watch During Deployment

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10 TV Shows You Should Binge Watch During Deployment10 TV Shows You Should Binge Watch During Deployment

During deployments or even during drill weekends I have found that binge-watching a television show can really make things a lot easier. I can get lost in the show, lost in the characters and that can take away those lonely nights missing my husband. Focusing on something else always works and watching a good tv show is a great way to do it.

With Netflix, Hulu and Amazon, binge watching couldn’t be easier. Back during our 2007 deployment I either had to get DVDs from the library or watch shows on YouTube, 10 minutes at a time. Not ideal I know. I much prefer Netflix these days.

So…if you want to get lost in a story, check out these binge-worthy television shows:

One Tree Hill

One Tree Hill is about a fictional town in North Carolina. It’s the story of two brothers, both raised in very different families and small town life. Basically, normal teenagers, trying to figure out life, love, and relationships. This show has 9 seasons and a lot of fans like to rewatch over and over again.

Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl takes place in New York City and is narrated by the “Gossip Girl.” Another show about teenagers but this time they are from the Upper East Side. They have money, a lot of money and all the problems that go with money. Gossip Girl has 6 seasons and will keep you guessing about who the “Gossip Girl” is the whole time.

Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls is a fun show about a mother and daughter living in a small town in Connecticut. This is a quirky show with a ton of fun supporting characters. There are 7 seasons and Netflix just came out with Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life that you must watch once you finish with the regular seasons.

The West Wing

I am a HUGE fan of The West Wing. This show is all about President Bartlet and his staff. They take on real issues and each character has their own situations they are going through. I have already watched this show twice and would love to start a third round. There are 7 seasons.

Vampire Diaries

Vampire Diaries is an exciting show about a town in Virginia, Mystic Falls with Vampires and other supernatural creatures. Elena is a regular old high school student who loses her parents in a car crash. Then she meets Stefen and Damon, vampire brothers. And everything changes. There are 8 seasons and a spin-off, the Originals.

Pretty Little Liars

Pretty Little Liars takes place in Rosewood, Pennsylvania. Four friends try to figure out what to do after their friend Alison is allegedly murdered. This show will keep you hooked because you just want to find out what is going on. There are 7 seasons of PLL.

Once Upon a Time

Once Upon a Time takes place in the fictional seaside town of Storybrooke, Maine. But who lives in this town? All your favorite fairytale characters, only they are under a spell and don’t remember where they came from. Emma, a bail bonds person comes to the town and learns she is the only one who can save it. This show has 6 seasons and is still going on with new characters added all the time.

Grey’s Anatomy

If you are looking for a mix of medicine and drama, Grey’s Anatomy is going to be your show. This show is on season 13 with more to come. Meredith Grey is the main character and as the show starts she is starting the residency program at Seattle Grace Hospital. You might think that it isn’t possible for one hospital to have this much drama but you don’t care because the show is keeping you entertained.

Doctor Who

If you love science fiction, time travel, British tv, you will probably like Doctor Who. I will fully admit this show is not for everyone but those that watch and fall in love with it can’t get enough. This show could be your deployment show as there are a ton of episodes to watch. You can go all the way back and watch some of the original show but I suggest starting with the newer episodes. There are 9 seasons of that, the 10th should start sometime in the near future.

The Office

The Office is such a great show to binge watch. This show is a Mockumentary about an office in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Some of these characters will drive you nuts, others will make you roll your eyes but you won’t be able to get enough of this silly show. There are 9 seasons to enjoy.

 

What shows do you love to watch during a deployment?

 

 

There is Nothing Quite Like a Holiday Homecoming

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There is Nothing Quite Like a Holiday HomecomingThere is Nothing Quite Like a Holiday Homecoming

The morning was cold but being December in Tennessee, that wasn’t a surprise. When we arrived at the hanger, I knew this would be different than our last deployment, which ended on a hot day in July. Our deployment was over and I only had to wait a few more hours until my husband would be in my arms again. This 4th deployment had been one of the hardest. I was so glad that the deployment was going to end. What made things even better was that my husband was coming home about a week before Christmas. For us, that year would be magical.

That year, we had the best Christmas ever. That year we didn’t have to miss him. We didn’t have to worry anymore. We weren’t lonely and we were together, the way we were supposed to be. We didn’t have to experience the deployment ache over Christmas and we fully enjoyed the holidays together again.

military homecomingImage from DVIDSHUB on Flickr!

There is something so beautiful about a holiday homecoming. Knowing that the deployment will end and that you will be celebrating the holidays together instead of apart. Knowing that you won’t have to wake up Christmas morning or start Hanukkah alone. Knowing that they will be there to wish you Happy New Year and that you won’t have to videotape your children opening presents just so that your spouse can see them do so from afar.

military homecomingImage from DVIDSHUB on Flickr!

There is nothing quite like a holiday homecoming. To be together again during the time of year you want to be with your family the most.

As I stood out watching the runaway on that December Day, I was so cold. But that didn’t matter. All that did was watching that plane land, watching my husband get off the plane and running into his arms, knowing he was home, that the deployment was over and that we would be back to the way things were meant to be.

military homecoming

For those getting ready for holiday homecoming, know that you will be in for a treat. All homecomings are amazing but you will always look back on this homecoming as such a special one. Whether there is snow on the ground in upstate New York or the sun on your back in Hawaii, there is nothing quite like a holiday homecoming.

Have you ever had a holiday homecoming?

 

8 Things You Won’t Have To Do If Your Spouse Is Deployed

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8 Things You Won't Have To Do If Your Spouse Is Deployed

8 Things You Won’t Have To Do If Your Spouse Is Deployed

Deployments are no fun, any military spouse can tell you that. However, when they happen, which they usually do, there are things you simply won’t have to do because your spouse is gone. I am not going to say these are benefits, but if on a bad deployment day you are feeling pretty lonely, take a look and remember what you don’t have to do because your spouse is deployed.

1. Share the TV- How many times are you dying to catch up on Grey’s but you can’t because your husband wants to watch something else? Well, during a deployment you don’t have to worry about that. You can watch all of your shows, even the ones he makes fun of. Binge-watching can be very therapeutic during a deployment as well.

2. Shave- If your husband is deployed, you don’t have to shave. Well maybe you should shave sometimes but you don’t have to do this chore as often and no one will ever know. Unless it is summertime, then you probably do want to shave.

3. Share the bed- As much as I miss my husband when he is gone, I love having the bed to myself. Maybe I would feel differently if we didn’t have a queen bed but I like having all that space. Of course, at night, when the house is quiet and he is gone, I would rather him be there. But if he has to be deployed, I am going to enjoy having that extra space each night.

4. Clean dirty uniforms- Between the uniforms and his regular clothes, when your spouse deploys you are going to have a lot less laundry to do. This will free up some time from your schedule. You won’t have to wash those dirty uniforms straight from the field. No sand in your washing machine. That might be a nice break.

5. Cook what you don’t like- Cooking will change for you when he deploys. Depending on your children and how old they are, you might be able to get away with not cooking much at all. And you won’t have to cook anything you don’t like. You can also cook what you do like that he might not. My husband is not a big fan of breakfast for dinner so I tend to make that when he is gone. The kids love it!

6. Spend as much on food- Speaking of food, your grocery budget can go down a bit once they are deployment. You also might be able to go longer between shopping trips. See how much food you need to buy each week and go from there. You don’t want to buy too much and end up with some of your food going bad.

7. Share a bathroom- Your bathroom is all for you. No more mess from anyone other than you, unless you let your children use it. But being the only person who uses your bathroom will make the room a bit of a relaxing space for you. Buy some candles and bubble bath and make your bathroom your retreat.

8. Wake up too early- When you have small children you never get to sleep in. When your husband is in the Army and has to wake up for PT, you never get to sleep in. When they are deployed, you might actually be able to catch some extra zzzs without your spouse waking you up trying to find his PT gear.

Are you going through a deployment right now? What haven’t you had to do since your spouse has been gone?

4 Steps To Turn A Bad Deployment Day Around

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4 Steps To Turn A Bad Deployment Day Around4 Steps To Turn A Bad Deployment Day Around

No matter how long your deployment is or how many deployments you have gone through, you will have good deployment days and bad deployment days. Usually, the first few weeks are going to be the most difficult and then the last month will crawl by. But in between the beginning and the end of the deployment, you will have days where you feel like you are rocking military spouse life and days where you feel like you can’t make it through another deployment day.

So what should you do if you are going through a bad deployment day? How can you make that day better and turn things around? Here are 4 steps that can turn a bad deployment day around and make the deployment a little more bearable.

1. Cry it out. Stop what you are doing, find your bed, your couch or wherever you feel comfortable and have a good cry. Let everything out. Take a moment to do this. Your body might need this release. If you don’t want to cry in front of your kids, go into your bedroom and shut the door. If you have to wait until bedtime, do so. There have been many nights where I kept things together during the day and then after bedtime, I was able to let go and work on feeling better about my day. I tend to be a more emotional person and crying is how I deal with stress and disappointment. Others might not need to cry but simply spend some time by themselves and that can be just as helpful.

2. Journal. After you cry everything out, get out your journal and start writing. Write about what is bothering you. Write about your day. Write about your hopes and dreams for the future. Just start writing. Doing so will be a way to get your thoughts out and start to feel better. You could also write a letter to your spouse. This can also be helpful and sometimes the bad day comes because of lack of communication with your spouse. If you have a place to tell your spouse about your day and what is going on, you could get out of your funk and start to feel better. If you have never written in a journal before, now is the time to start. Go buy yourself a cute journal and some pens and create a place to write during the deployment.

3. Make Plans. After you cry it out and journal, make plans for the next day, week or month. Fill up your calendar. Make plans for the very next day even if they are simple. There are a lot of things you can do to stay busy during a deployment. If you don’t know what else to do, put your kids in the stroller and go for a walk, take yourself out to dinner or do something different from what you normally do. Staying busy will help you get through this deployment and that starts with making plans and putting things down on your calendar.

4. Go to bed. After you have done what you can to turn things around, just go to bed. Sometimes the morning is all you need to feel better. You can leave that bad day behind and wake up to a new one. One that is one day closer to homecoming and one that can be a lot better than the previous day.

Some days are going to be easier to turn around than others. If you feel like you are just not doing well with the deployment, don’t feel bad about getting some extra help. Sometimes going to see a counselor can be just what you need to get through. I had to do this during our 4th deployment and going to see her was so helpful. Never be afraid to get any help that you might need. Deployments can be emotionally and mentally challenging for us spouses too.

What do you do to turn around a bad deployment day?

 

How To Make Your Holidays Special When Your Heart Is An Ocean Away

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How To Make Your Holidays Special When Your Heart Is An Ocean AwayHow To Make Your Holidays Special When Your Heart Is An Ocean Away

He left in November of that year for his 2nd deployment. That meant he was going to miss Christmas that year. We also were not going to be going home as we were in Germany and the idea of traveling with a 2-year-old and 4-year-old over the holidays was a little too much. Plus, my parents were coming to visit around my birthday in January.

As I looked ahead to Christmas day I couldn’t help but be sad about my husband missing the holiday. Our boys were still so young. These Christmases are important. They are what we will look back years in the future, the Santa Christmases when everyone was young enough to believe and the toys were rather simple.

But there was nothing I could do. My husband would be in Iraq that Christmas and we would be home in Germany without him. The good thing was I was not alone. There were quite a few other spouses going through the same thing, being without their spouse for Christmas. This included one of my best friends, who also had small children.

We decided that being by ourselves this Christmas wasn’t going to work well for us. We also knew that we needed to plan something to help us get through the day. We made plans. We would spend Christmas morning with our own children, watch them open their gifts and then meet up to make Christmas dinner together while our kids played.

This was one of the best things we could have done. Were we still sad and missing our husbands? Yes, but we had something else to focus on and so did our kids. That Christmas didn’t turn out to be too horrible after all and all it took was a little planning to make the holiday special.

The key to getting through the holiday season without your spouse by your side is to make the holiday special anyway. Do what you can to bring in the Christmas joy, even if you don’t feel like doing so. Here are some great ideas on how to make your holidays special, even when your heart is an ocean away-

Plan Christmas Day

If you celebrate Christmas, plan that day out. What will it look like? Where will you eat? How will you spend that time? You can plan a date with friends or stay home. Whatever will work for you and your family. Just plan something. Even if your plan includes taking the kids to the movies and picking up fast food on the way home.

Save Presents

Save a few presents to open when Dad is back home, even if that will be June. You can have a mini-Christmas later. You don’t even have to let your kids know there are more presents. You can save presents for your deployed spouse as well. Make a fun day of your mini-Christmas after he is home from his deployment.

Take pictures

Your husband might miss Christmas but he can still see what you guys did that day. Take photos of everything you do. Make an album and send that in your next care package or save for when he gets home. Include Christmas memories from your children as well. Your deployed spouse will enjoy reading those too. Ask your deployed spouse for Christmas of their day as well. They might have been able to celebrate a little bit, even if they were overseas. 

Decorate

Decorate your house anyway, even if doing so seems hard. Sometimes people just don’t have the desire to do so but try to make yourself decorate anyway. You will be glad you did. Life can’t stop just because they are deployed. Life has to keep moving, that includes decorating for the season. You can always put your tree up early if your spouse deploys in the fall. Who cares if it is in October? Sometimes us military families do things on a slightly different schedule than everyone else. You can also leave the Christmas decor up longer than usual so your spouse can see everything when he gets home.

What have you done in the past to make Christmas or the holidays special even when your spouse has been away? What advice would you give to new spouses going through their first Christmas alone?

For the Military Spouse Going Through a Deployment Over Christmas

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For the Military Spouse Going Through a Deployment Over ChristmasFor the Military Spouse Going Through a Deployment Over Christmas…

Christmas music on the radio, trees going up, presents being bought and travel arrangements being finalized. December is almost here, Christmas is right around the corner. This is a great time of year, right?

For the military spouse going through a deployment over Christmas, this time of year is one to be gotten through. One to be survived. The rest of the world can be excited but for this military spouse, Christmas is not going to be Christmas this year.

Her husband, the father of her children will not be home. He will be in a war zone.

She won’t be wrapping gifts with him and playing Santa together. He won’t be able to sit with her at the Christmas Eve service or watch as their kids open their gifts. He won’t be sitting at the table eating ham and he won’t be able to build snowmen in the backyard on Christmas afternoon.

I have been this spouse and it isn’t fun. Being without your spouse on Christmas can be so very difficult. You are always missing them but there is something about Christmas that brings people together. There are movies made about this. About someone rushing home and making it right before Santa flies by on his sleigh. 

For the military spouse going through a deployment, Christmas might just be a regular old day, one in which it feels as if the rest of the world is happy and rejoicing and that they clearly are not. 

There are things a military spouse can do to make Christmas a little better during a deployment. They can celebrate early or even late when their spouse will be home. They can videotape the gift opening. They can go home and be with family but that isn’t always an option.

They can plan a meal with a friend which helps them stay busy and allows them to make memories with friends they will always consider family. They can fill their calendars with every holiday activity their community provides. They can remember that next year their spouse will be with them and that someday they will be there for every Christmas.

The military spouse going through a deployment over Christmas can do all of these things to make the season a little better…

But when all the gifts are unwrapped, when the turkey has been eaten and the children are asleep after a fun day, she will shed a tear for the memories her sweet husband didn’t get to share with them that year, for the sadness she knew her kids felt and for the hope that after the holiday season is over, the countdown will speed up and that homecoming will be upon her, the day her husband will be home.

So if you are the military spouse going through a deployment over Christmas, know that you are not alone.

Know that this too will pass. Know that you are stronger than you think. Know that your holiday might look a little different than it did in the past. Know that it is going to be okay. Know that you are being prayed for and that people do think and care about you.

It’s going to be okay military spouse, it really is. You might shed too many tears on Christmas day. You might wonder why your spouse has to be away when other spouses never have to go. You might not want to celebrate the holiday at all.

But whatever you do, however you celebrate, know that it is going to be okay and that although being without your spouse on Christmas is going to be difficult, you will get through this. That as the new year starts you will look ahead and see that homecoming date in your future and know that deployments do end. Your spouse will be back with you and that you will be able to make memories with them again soon.

Missing someone is not about how long it has been since you have seen them or the amount of time since you have talked…it is about that very moment when you are doing something and wishing they were there with you.
—Anonymous

The Weight of Multiple Deployments

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The Weight of Multiple Deployments

In 2013 my husband left for his 4th deployment. I didn’t want him to go. I really didn’t want him to go.

He left for his 1st deployment in 2006 and the longest break he had had from deployments was just short of 2 years. I felt like he was always gone or leaving or getting ready to leave. He deployed 1 year after he returned home from his long 15-month deployment.

That was definitely not enough time at home. I felt like after 15 months they should have been home for at least as long as that, if not double that in order to really have time to heal and get ready to go again. We were not that lucky.

To prepare for a deployment, there has to be a lot of training that happens. So basically, he got home, we had block leave and then they started to prepare for the next deployment. Multiple long deployments can take a lot from families and the soldiers themselves.

Our family really felt this as we said goodbye again for another year apart.

These days, my husband is usually home which feels so strange to me after so many years when he wasn’t. So many years of wondering if he would be there for the next Christmas or birthday. Years of being the only adult in the house and then having to figure out how to let him back into our routines.

As I look back at our deployments, I know they have made me a stronger person than I otherwise would have been. I have made friends that became like family because of them. I sometimes wonder what my life would look like had my husband never joined the Army, never been away from us.

And I can’t imagine it.

I can’t imagine what life would have been like had he been home for everything during those years. Our story didn’t go that way.

Now that we are past the rapid deployment stage, I can’t help but think of the weight of multiple deployments and what they can mean to military families.

Sometimes the marriage doesn’t survive. Sometimes the marriage does but both of you become different people, with so many challenges ahead. You change, they change, the family changes.

During deployments, you will have to change the way you think about everything. You will have to let things go. You will realize that what you assumed your life would be is going to be something completely different.

When you go through multiple deployments you will look back at your “survival” days.

Those survival days when you couldn’t help but wonder how you will make it through. When you can only do the minimum. When you take the deployment day by day, or hour by hour.

When everything is calm, you will wonder what bothered you so much that you couldn’t do all those extra things you liked to do. You will wonder why you were so anxious and possibly why those days were so hard. And then you remember.

You remember the lonely nights, the days on the calendar that would not pass quick enough and the possibility that sat in your heart that your spouse might not even make it home after all.

When you go through multiple deployments you will become stronger.

You have to. Anytime someone goes through something difficult, they get through the ordeal, stronger than they were before. This will help you in the future as you can be a listening ear to someone going through that issue themselves.

You can have compassion for those who are having a harder time and can prepare for any future struggles that might be ahead. You can also help your spouse through the coming years, no matter how many deployments are ahead.

Service members can come back from deployment with so many wounds. Some might be visible and some might not be. Being there for your spouse in any way you can is important.

Knowing when there is a bigger problem than even you can’t handle is also important. Getting help is a must and being patient will be your best friend through it all. Remember, you don’t have to go through all of this alone.

You will feel the weight of multiple deployments and will have to figure out how to move forward from them…

War is rough. Deployments are rough. Even years later you might still feel the weight of them all. Get the help that you need and remember military spouse, you are strong and you can get through this, even if it is one day at a time.

Have you been through multiple deployments? How have you dealt with the weight of those years?

31 Things To Do When You Are In A Deployment Funk

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31 Things To Do When You Are In A Deployment Funk31 Things To Do When You Are In A Deployment Funk

There comes a time in everyone’s deployment when you just hit a funk. Homecoming seems too far away, there is nothing to look forward to, you are stuck and not sure how you are going to make it through the next few months. You wake up sad, you go to bed sad, how to break out of this? Here are some ideas…

1.Plan something with some friends- Plan a night out or a lunch or something you can put on your calendar. Make plans. Let your friends know you want to make more plans now that your spouse is gone.

2. Start a best-selling, can’t put it down book- You will enjoy yourself and get lost in the characters.

3. Find a new tv series to lose yourself in- Like books, if you start a new series, you can have something to watch to get your mind off of the deployment, at least for a little while. Binge watching was made for deployments.

4. Make some weight loss goals- Want to work on you? Make some new weight loss goals. Losing weight was always easier for me when my husband was gone. A great time to work on myself.

5. Learn how to cook a new meal- A deployment can be a good time to learn new skills. Learning how to cook a new meal means you will expand what you can make. You can also do this with friends.

6. Sign up for a fun class- See what is available on post or in your community. A lot of places have classes you can take on anything from how to do your taxes to how to decorate a cake. This is also a great way to make some new friends. You can sign up for a one-time class or an on-going one.

7. Go on a USO or MWR trip- Depending on where you are stationed you might have some great opportunities you can take advantage of. In Germany, there were a lot of USO tours we could go on. Here in the states, MWR seems to have certain day trips you can sign up for too.

8. Plan a trip home- If things get really hard, plan a trip back home. Maybe just for a weekend. Doing so will give you something to look forward to.

9. Start a book- Have you ever had an idea for a book going on in your head? Want to get started? Maybe you just want to write about the deployment. Get started on something. NaNoWriMo is coming up in November and can be a great way to get started.

10. Take up a new skill, like photography- Learning a new skill is a great way to get out of your deployment funk. You can go back to an older hobby or try something new. Look online and at your local library to get started.

11. Commit to writing in a journal- I love writing in a journal. Doing so can be a helpful way to get all of your feelings out on paper. Get in the habit of writing in yours every day.

12. Work on a fun care package- Is there a holiday coming up? Plan a themed care package and send to your spouse. Have fun with the care package and send some treats.

13. Talk to a good friend- Get together with a friend or call one. Talk about life. If you need to vent with them, it can make you feel better.

14. Volunteer for something new- Try to sign up to volunteer somewhere. Either on post or in your civilian community. There are a lot of opportunities out there.

15. Write poetry- Some people find writing poetry about your situation very helpful and soothing.

16. Move your furniture around- Sometimes changing things around in your home can help you break out of that deployment funk. Just don’t hurt your back in the process.

17. Go on a walk- Walks are good for you. Not only can they help you with your weight loss goals but they can be a great way to get out of your house and clear your head.

18. Meet someone for coffee- Meeting someone for coffee is an affordable way to connect with others. You don’t have to spend more than $5 and meeting someone regularly can be a great way to help with your deployment funk.

19. Listen to music- Create a deployment playlist. Put songs on there that make you feel good and make you feel strong. Listen to the playlist whenever you start to feel down.

20. Call your mom- If you have a good relationship with your mom, give her a call. She might not totally understand what you are going through unless she herself was a military spouse but she can be an encouraging listening ear.

21. Plan your after deployment trip- Talk to your spouse about an after deployment trip. Then you can start to plan it.

22. Buy a new outfit- Go shopping and buy something new. Remember to stick within your budget.

23. Buy your homecoming outfit- If you know about when homecoming will be, start shopping for your homecoming outfit. This can be a great way to get excited about the end of the deployment.

24. Take your kids out somewhere fun that you have never been before- Plan a day trip or even go somewhere for a few hours. Explore and have fun. If you are on a tight budget, visit a new park or hiking trail.

25. Attend a local event- Check both on post and off to see what is going on in your local community. Fill up your calendar. This will help with the feeling that you have nothing to look forward to.

26. Buy new stationary and write a long old-fashioned letter to your husband- These days most of us are all about Skype or email. Buy some new stationery and start writing letters to your spouse overseas.

27. Start a regular meetup group- If you know a group of other spouses and friends that want to do this, start making plans. You could plan to meet up at a park every Saturday morning or start a book club that meets once a month.

28. Get professional photos done of you or you and the kids, send to your spouse- This can be a great thing to send to your spouse and they will love the photos.

29. Research your next duty station- If you know you are PCSing soon after the deployment, start researching your next duty station. There is a lot of information out there online and you can get started with your planning.

30. Plan a Space-A trip- Space-A can be a great way to see some of the US or World that you haven’t seen. You do need to plan a Space-A trip. There is a lot more to it than just showing up the day you want to fly.

31. Remember, you are not alone- There are a lot of other military spouses going through the deployment funk too. Find other spouses who get it either in person or online (You can join my Facebook group if you are looking for that extra level of support.)

What do you do to get out of a deployment funk?