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The Uncertainty of Military Life As a Military Spouse

July 1, 2025 by Julie Leave a Comment

The Uncertainty of Military Life As a Military Spouse

Life as a military spouse can feel like a rollercoaster. It is filled with uncertainty, and that can be so hard to deal with. From not knowing when your loving spouse will be in the same country as you to having no idea where you will be living six months from now.

As a military spouse, uncertainty is apart of the deal. It comes with this crazy life, and it will always be there. We need to figure out ways to handle the unknown, and not let it control our whole life.

Yes, much easier said than done but there are a few things we can do as military spouses to help make this part of military life easier to take.

Accept the Uncertainty of Military Life

Reframing our mindset can go a long way in helping us accept that so much of military life is not set in stone, and there will be a lot of time when we just don’t know what is going to happen next. If we hope that things level out and become more clear, we are going to be disappointed.

While it would be nice to know when a deployment is going to happen, we have to be prepared that dates will change, and things might not work out the way they first said they would. While it would be nice to get firm PCS orders in a timely manner, we need to remember that we might have to wait and wait, and then wait again for everything to get sorted out.

Accepting that this is a part of military life will go a long way in finding contentment and not becoming as frustrated as a military spouse.

Focus On What You Can Control

While we can’t control what the military does, we do have things in our lives that we can. Focusing on those things will go on a long way. You might not be able to control where you are going to be stationed next. You can however control aspects of your move, where you might live, and other parts to your PCS.

Focus on what you need to do next for your own life and career. Figure out what your family needs that you can give to them. Try not to dwell on what is out of your control, and focus on what is in your control.

Find Support

You are definitely not the only military spouse out there getting frustrated over the uncertainty of everything. Even others not related to the military can go through periods of time when life is so uncertain. Life in general is a mix of good and bad, waiting for something to happen, and then moving forward.

Find mentors and seasoned spouses to connect with. These people will know that life as a miltary spouse can be all over the place sometimes. They probably have tips and tricks that have worked for them that they can pass on to you.

You never ever have to walk military life alone. There is both in person and online support out there. Find it, and work with your local community to find ways to help each other through.

Never Ever Write in Pen

This is simple. Invest in some cute pencils and an erasar. Anything can be changed at any time for any reason. Hope for the best, always, but plan for change too. Sometimes, those changes are what lead you to amazing places.

As a military spouse, things can feel a bit out of your control at time, and they are. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find the joy in this life anyway. Find ways to adapt to this crazy life and you might even surprise yourself over how much you actually do have control over.

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military life, Military spouse life, Milspouse

Jealousy, When You Are a Military Spouse

June 25, 2025 by Julie 13 Comments

Jealousy, When You Are a Military Spouse

During my time as a military spouse, I have experienced a variety of emotions. Happiness during homecoming. Sadness during a deployment. Getting excited about a new duty station or promotion. Loneliness when a friend moves away.

There are a lot of different emotions we feel during the time that our spouse is serving in the Military. One emotion that we can feel, even if we don’t want to, is jealousy.

Jealousy can happen when you least expect it. Jealousy can happen over a deployment schedule, a promotion, a pcs, or just life in general. You can be happy for someone and still feel that green-eyed monster creep up. When you are waiting for something to happen, and that very thing you are waiting for happens to someone else, you can feel jealousy coming up.

I have felt this way over the years. I feel bad when I do. I have felt this way when I felt like my husband was always deploying and others were not.

I have felt this way when someone else seemed to be holding it together better than I was.

I have felt this way over little silly things that I would never want to share with anyone.

Jealousy happens, but what we do with those feelings is what really matters.

One big lesson I have learned over the years is that military life simply isn’t fair. Some people deploy more than others. Promotions don’t always happen even if it feels like they should and some people get better duty stations than others.

Sometimes you are going to be surrounded by good friends and other times you will be the lonely one still trying to make new friends since your old friends moved away. Military life can often be one big cycle.

Some years are going to be better than others. That is the nature of Military life.

Want a free Guide for the First 30 Days of a Deployment???

If you are feeling jealous of someone else, know that it can happen, especially in Military spouse life when we know so much about what other people are doing. When our community is so small.

Maybe your spouse just left again, and theirs just got home, and that is causing you to feel jealous. Think about the times when you were experiencing what they were. Think about how you will be in their place in the future.

Try not to let everything get to you and remember that by the time you are getting ready for homecoming, they could be getting ready to send their spouse off again. You never really know.

Think about everything you have and all the amazing experiences you have been through in the past. Remember that even if it feels like everyone else has more than you do, others have less.

Try not to let jealousy rule you. Focus on what is going well in your life and work on what you don’t like. Let go of anything you don’t have control over. It simply isn’t worth your energy if you can’t do anything about it anyway.

The feeling of jealousy can creep up on you, but you don’t have to let jealousy win. Take a step back, write about what you are feeling in your journal, and know that seasons change all the time during military life. One moment you are in the midst of another deployment and the other you are on a family vacation celebrating their return.

Do you ever struggle with jealousy? What do you do about it when the green-eyed monster hits?

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: Deployment, military life, Milspouse

The Military Spouse

May 9, 2025 by Julie 1 Comment

The Military Spouse

The military spouse, the one who has chosen to stand beside a soldier, a marine, an airman, a coastie, a guardian, or a sailor. To go with them from place to place. To support them through their career choice, and beyond.

The military spouse, whose dreams of married life probably looked a little different than they are now. She thought they could buy a house down the street from her family. He thought she would always be home with him. The military spouse, whose reality is far from the expected.

The military spouse, who finds herself on an airplane with a toddler, traveling to her new home in Germany. The military spouse, whose children will be born in three different states, and two different countries. The military spouse, who gave birth with her mom by her side, instead of her partner, wishing things didn’t have to be this way.

The military spouse is told she or he is strong, but the truth is, sometimes we don’t feel that way. Sometimes we feel like we weren’t cut out to make it in this life. Sometimes we feel like the burden is too heavy, and the stress is too much.

We see how much our spouse loves what they do, whether it is going to the desert, or living on a ship. Whether it is flying an airplane, or working as a mechanic. Whatever they do in the military, we know this was the right choice, and we want to stand by their decision, even if doing so is hard.

When you marry someone who wants to serve their country by serving in the military, you also have to know that you have married someone that will have a unique job. You will have to understand that many of your friends might not get the life.

“Why can’t you guys come home for Christmas?”

“Can’t he tell them he doesn’t want to go?”

“I could never do it”

But you figure out pretty quickly that this military life is your life. And while your civilian friends might not be able to relate to everything you are going through, you know that they can be there for you, just like you can be there for them, for whatever they are going through.

The military spouse will have to go days, weeks, and even months apart from your loved one. And for some, even years. We have to solo parent, making decisions alone that would normally be made by both parents. We have to step in and step up when it isn’t always easy to do so.

The military spouse finds themselves on a journey they couldn’t have dreamed of. We find ourselves having all these adventures, from living down the street from an actual castle to finding friends that are more like family, going through life together, even if it is virtually.

The military spouse lives their military life the best way they can. Not all military spouses are the same, and we all bring our individual likes and dislikes, personalities, and gifts to the community. We can help one another out, be the community we need, and grow through our challenges together.

The military spouse is a part of a community that goes beyond anything they could have imagined. Because of this life a military spouse can say they literally have friends around the world.

The military spouse may have to wait, and that is always a difficult thing to do. But they also get to say hello again, running into their lover’s arms. They can grow through the challenges, and can find unique and creative ways to get through the deployments and other times part.

The military spouse may have to move every few years. That is not going to be easy to do. But by doing so they can learn about different parts of the country and world. They can bloom where they are stationed, and create and find community wherever they go.

The military spouse is the heart of the home. The constant in the changing waters of military life. The one who tries to pull everything all together.

The military spouse doesn’t always feel strong but can find ways to get through it all. Taking each challenge day-by-day, and reminding themselves that this is their life, and it can be a good one, filled with lots of fun memories, seasons of growth, and many amazing friends.

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military life, military spouse, military wife, Milspouse

Love to Hit the Slopes? All About the Epic Military Pass

May 1, 2025 by Julie 2 Comments

Love to Hit the Slopes? All About the Epic Military Pass

Do you love skiing or snowboarding? If so, you need to check out the Epic Military Pass. It’s quite a military discount and will allow you to save on sking and snowboarding all season long.

What is the Epic Pass?

The Epic Pass is a ski resort pass for the entire season. The pass gives you access to a big network of ski resorts across the US as well as a few international locations. Vail Resorts offers this pass.

The Epic Pass includes: Vail, CO, Beaver Creek, CO, Breckenridge, CO, Keystone, CO, Crested Butte, CO, Park City, UT, Heavenly, CA/NV, Northstar, CA, Kirkwood, CA, Stevens Pass, WA, Whistler Blackcomb, BC, Stowe, VT, Okemo, VT, Mount Sunapee, NH, Mount Snow, VT, Attitash Mountain Resort, NH, Wildcat Mountain, NH, Crotched Mountain, NH, Hunter Mountain, NY, Liberty Mountain Resort, PA, Roundtop Mountain Resort, PA, Whitetail Resort, PA, Jack Frost, PA, Big Boulder, PA, Seven Springs, PA, Laurel Mountain, PA, Hidden Valley, PA, Afton Alps, MN, Mt Brighton, MI, Wilmot, WI, Alpine Valley, OH, Boston Mills, OH, Brandywine, OH, Mad River Mountain, OH, Hidden Valley, MO, Snow Creek, MO, Paoli Peaks, IN, Europe: Andermatt-Sedrun-Disentis, Crans-Montana, Australia: Perisher – 2026 Access, Falls Creek – 2026 Access, Hotham – 2026 Access.

History of the Epic Pass

Back in 1957, Pete Seibert, who had served in the 10th Mountain Division during World War II, and Earl Eaton, who had served as an Army engineer, returned to the same mountains where they had trained during the war. They came back with a new mission: “to create the most beloved mountain resorts in the world.”

In 1962, Vail Mountain opened with two chairlifts and one gondola. It would later become Vail Resorts.

The Epic Pass was launched in 2008, and the Epic Military Pass was introduced in 2018.

What are the Different Epic Pass Options?

There are several different Epic Military Passes depending on your military status. Keep in mind that the regular Epic Pass is $1,051 for adults and $537 for children for the 2025/2026 season.

With the pass, you will also receive 20% off food, lodging, group lessons, rentals, and more. Plus, discounted tickets for your friends and family.

Active duty military, active duty dependents, both adult and children, retired military, and dependents, adult and children: $185! What a deal!

Military veterans as well as dependents: Adults: $601, Children 5-17: $321

The Liberty Pass gives you unlimited access to ski and ride Keystone all season and also includes the 20% off food, lodging, group lessons, rentals, and more. It is for active duty personnel, retirees, veterans, and their dependents. Adults: $321, Children (5-17): $225.

You will need to verify your military service during the checkout process. Visit the Epic Military Pass page for more information.

Love to Hit the Slopes? All About the Epic Military Pass

Filed Under: Military Discounts Tagged With: epic military pass, Military Discount, Milspouse

How Military Spouses Can Chase Their Dreams During Military Life

April 14, 2025 by Julie

How Military Spouses Can Chase Their Dreams During Military Life

One of the hot topics in the military spouse world is how we, as military spouses, can chase our dreams during the craziness of military life. There is always a reason not to move forward, and there always seem to be obstacles in our way. But does it have to be this way?

Here are a few things you can do to still chase your dreams as a military spouse:

Go to School

Going to school is something you can do to further your own career. You can go back to school, and finish a degree you have already started. You can look to get another degree or to start college in the first place. You have a lot of options for what you can do to further your education.

Sit down and think about what you would want to do. Look at the different programs that are out there and figure out what will work for you. Take the first step and look into applying to get started. You will be glad that you did.

Write a Book

Do you know much about a topic you want to share with the world? Are you a fiction writer, ready to start putting your stories down on paper? Maybe now is the time for you to write your book. If nothing else, get your ideas out on paper and see where that leads.

These days, you don’t have to go with a traditional publisher. Many writers self-publish their own Ebooks, and that can be an option for you. Do your research on writing a book and follow your book writing dream.

Start a Business

Military spouses love to start businesses. There are different ways to do this too. You can join a direct sales business and skip some of the steps to get started. You might be a creator and can start to sell your own homemade products. For some, selling advice or career help can be a way to get going on a business.

There are so many options these days, and you are not limited by what is available locally. The whole internet is at your fingertips. Military spouses are rocking it as successful entrepreneurs and that might be the right direction for you too.

Find a new job

Maybe you are a SAHM or maybe you are in a job you are not too excited about. Finding a new job could be the answer. You can find a job that will get you closer to where you want to be in the long term.

How Military Spouses Can Chase Their Dreams During Military Life

For example, if you are good at managing your money, you might consider a career as a financial advisor. First Command explains a bit why in this article.

Don’t get discouraged about finding a job and keep looking until you find something. Sometimes this might mean thinking outside the box. You might not always end up with your dream job, your current duty station could make that impossible, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find something that will work for the current season of your life.

Sign-up for LinkedIn

LinkedIn is more than just a place to search for jobs. LinkedIn is filled with networking opportunities. You never know who you might connect with or what that relationship will lead to.

Volunteer

There are always plenty of volunteer opportunities in your community. Some might be on base or post, and some might be off. If you want to work on a particular career in the future, look at what you can do that is similar or will help you later on. Volunteer work can look excellent on a resume and can fill in gaps if you are unable to find another type of job.


Whatever you decide to do, remember, your dreams are important too. While there could be certain circumstances when you can’t do exactly what you want to do for your career or your future during certain seasons of life, that does not mean this will be the case forever. Don’t be afraid to dream big, know that you can follow your own heart, and figure out how to make things work during your spouse’s military career.

How have you worked on your own career during your time as a military spouse?

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: military life, military spouse, Milspouse

Balancing Life, Love, and the Demands of a Drill Sergeant’s Schedule

March 4, 2025 by Guest Writer Leave a Comment

I became an Army spouse back in 2012 in the Colorado Springs/Fort Carson area. This is where the journey began for my husband, myself, our daughter, and later, our son. Everyone says I can never be with someone in the Military. They always ask, “How do you do it?” My response is, “ I just do, because I love him.” Sounds so cliche, cheesy, corny even, but I have been managing this lifestyle for 13 years now, and each challenge has brought me and my spouse that much closer. 

When we received an abrupt notice that we were getting orders to Ft. Sill Oklahoma, my heart sunk. I was so nervous because I hadn’t heard much good things about the Drill Sgt. lifestyle. They train day and night with hardly any rest in between. There are strict rules about the trainees being left alone so there must be a Drill Sgt with them at all times until lights out. 

This has been very exhausting for my husband. He likes to stay physically fit and loves our family time. We have had to get creative on how to squeeze in any time together, whether it’s a quick coffee date or simply vegging around binge-watching a show on his days off.

The other challenge has been keeping in sync with each other’s schedules; we don’t always align. For instance, he works the weekends as well, so while he gets up at 4:30 a.m., the kids and I are trying to sleep in. He also can’t text or call me much because he is surrounded by trainees all day long, or he can even be in the field for hours. Communicating can be hard, too. 

This can make any social functions or planning very difficult because, just like any job in the military, they can’t request time off so easily. We have been adjusting and trying to make the most of the time we do have together.

How do I balance it all?

I am currently treating this time as if he were deployed even though he is at work, on base,15 miles down the road. I just do the things that bring me the most joy and whatever occupies my time. I got a new job, I’m exercising, I go on adventures with my kids, and I try to visit with my friends and family.

It all comes down to what you value the most and what is important to you. I do try my best to be home whenever I know he will be back so that I can at least get some time to catch up. I wash his uniforms, make him meals, pay bills, and do anything to make things easier for him. It is a very selfless time for me. I’ve even had Uber Eats send him his favorite food to his work site. 

I am looking forward to when this time-consuming schedule fades. I know it will all be worth the sacrifice. Counting down to retirement, but that is a whole other article. Stay positive, and best of luck in your adventures.

Thank you to Stacey for her guest post about being the spouse of a drill sergeant. If you would like to write a guest post for Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life, please fill out my Guest Post Sign Up form.

Balancing Life, Love, and the Demands of a Drill Sergeant’s Schedule

Filed Under: Military Life Tagged With: guest post, militaryspouse, Milspouse

9 Things in Life That Can Hurt a Military Marriage

January 14, 2025 by Julie

9 Things That Can Hurt a Military Marriage

This August, my husband and I will be celebrating our 23rd anniversary. In some ways, it seems like we just walked down the aisle. But when I look at my wedding photos, I can see that many years have passed since that day. For one thing, we look so young. I was 23; he was 26.

I have learned a lot about marriage in the last 23 years. I have also learned what it means to be in a military marriage, how to stay strong through deployments, and how to be the best wife I can be despite all the challenges thrown at us.

Check out The Blessing of a Military Marriage

The truth is, there are things that can help a military marriage and things that will hurt a military marriage. Whether you just walked down the aisle or did so a while ago, here are nine things that can hurt a military marriage that you should be aware of.

1. Not communicating

Married couples should be talking to one another, but sometimes that is hard to do. Everyday life can get in the way; deployments can get in the way, and the stress of everything can get in the way. Try to keep the lines of communication open.

If you can’t talk in person, write letters, email or plan to speak on the phone. Check-in with one another and try to make plans to hang out, even if you feel like two ships passing in the night.

2. Cheating

Cheating can tear your marriage apart. Whether it is physical or not, make sure you can protect your marriage. Make smart choices, especially when your spouse is away. Be the type of spouse that they can trust and not have to worry about when you are away from one another.

Set boundaries with other people. This will, of course, depend on your marriage, but make sure you are on the same page. Some couples are okay with more social time with the opposite sex; others are not. Make sure you talk about expectations and what is normal for your marriage.

 Check out 10 Ways To Save Money When You Need To Be On A Tight Budget

3. Money

So many couples fight about money. When two people raised differently come together and create their families, there will be tensions about money. If one of you was raised with a spending mindset and the other with a saving mentality, there will be friction regarding your budgets.

Make sure to spend time talking about your expectations, how much you should be spending, how much you should be saving, and figure out what your long-term goals are. Don’t hide money from each other, and be honest about your spending.

Saving Money in the Military


4. Children

Having children will add stress to your marriage. They will take up much of your time, and their needs will come first. Try to keep the perspective and still make time for your spouse.

Have date nights, even if that means making a nice dinner after the kids go to bed and curling up on your couch to watch a Netflix movie. Talk about your parenting strategies. There are many different ways to be a parent, and arguments can arise when you are not on the same page about raising your children.

Deployments can complicate this as one parent can leave when a child is just a few months old and come home to a toddler. The parent who was at home has a system and a plan, and the deployed parent has to figure out how to be involved again.

 Check out 10 Ways to Help Your Kids During a Deployment

5. Being cruel

Don’t be cruel to your spouse. That is not going to take you down the right path. Be loving and patient with them. Don’t seek ways to hurt them, and apologize when you do.

Do you know how they say never to go to bed angry? That is pretty much true. Try your best to work things out in a kind manner, and don’t be cruel and mean to each other. Not only is this destructive to your marriage, but kids can pick up on it too.

6. Acting immature

Being married means you need to stop acting childish. Even if you married young. You are an adult now, and you need to act like it.

Don’t try to live off of other people, work hard, and make the best of what you have. You will not be able to afford a brand new home right away, that might take years to get to a place where you can afford that. Be patient and know that over time, things will change, and you won’t always have to use a footlocker for your coffee table.

7. Taking bad advice

There is good advice and bad advice. Look to the people you trust and learn from them. Remember that no one is in your marriage, and no one can tell you precisely what to do. You can gain advice from others who have been there before and have wise words to say about whatever problem you are going through.

Be extra careful about family giving you advice. It could be very biased. If they never wanted you to get married in the first place, their advice might not help you in your current struggles. Find good friends that you trust to talk about your problems with.

8. Keeping things from your spouse

Don’t keep secrets from your spouse. Tell them what is going on and what they need to know. Of course, as military spouses, there will be times when we can’t talk to our spouses regularly. Because of this, it can feel like we are keeping secrets.

If something is noteworthy, write it down and tell them later. When it comes to sharing things with them when they are overseas, think about their personality and ask them what they would want you to do. Some people want to hear everything, and others can’t handle it.

grass is always greener


9. Assuming the grass will always be greener

If you have been married for a while, there will be things that start to annoy you about your spouse. Of course, this will happen; you are living together and raising a family together, and you will get on each other’s nerves sometimes. The truth is, everyone will annoy you at some point. Don’t assume the grass is greener somewhere else. Water your grass and keep your vows in mind.


How long have you been married?

9 Things in Life That Can Hurt a Military Marriage

Filed Under: Marriage, Military Life Tagged With: marriage, military marriage, military spouse, Milspouse

9 Uplifting Bible Verses to Support You on Difficult Deployment Days

January 8, 2025 by Julie Leave a Comment

Deployment days are not all the same. Some will have you wanting to pull your hair out, while others will be a little calmer. When we were going through our military deployments, one of the things that helped me get through was thinking about different mantras and bible verses to remind me that I could get through the days ahead.

We often doubt ourselves when going through a deployment, especially during more difficult deployment days. Here are nine encouraging Bible verses to keep around for your next deployment. I will start with my personal favorite, Joshua 1:9, which got me through more than one difficult deployment day:

Uplifting Bible Verses to Support You

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” – Psalm 121:1-2

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” – Psalm 46:1

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” – Psalm 73:26

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:27

Although a Bible verse or inspiring quote might not make you love a deployment, what would honestly? They can help you overcome a difficult time or remind you of the bigger picture.

Do you have a special verse or quote that inspires you?

Filed Under: Deployment Tagged With: bible verse, Deployment, Milspouse

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About Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

 

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I first became a military spouse in 2005 when my husband of 3 years re-joined the Army. Then, in 2014, he joined the National Guard. In January of 2024, he retired from the National Guard after 21 years of service.

During our time in the military, we got to spend 4 years in Germany as well as Tennessee where we now call home.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, PCS moves, or anything else military life brings you through my articles and social media posts.

 

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